Xion quickly played the next file due to the silents.
On screen shows a blue eyes ginger with a wide smile on her face. She wore a pink button up underneath a short sleeve navy blue bomber jacket and black shirt. The room looks like a psychiatrist office with pictures of a cat poster saying 'Hang in there'. "Hello~" The Doctor said in a singing tone. "Doctor Nora Valkyrie, here! Psychiatrist of Facility Haven Omega. Now I've been given some clearance to help with this experiment so I'll try to keep this as professional as physically possible."
The sound of a car crash is heard in RWBY's heads at the mention of Nora being a Psychiatrist. Weiss screamed in shock. "Why is that energetic dolt a psychiatrist?!"
"Nora is actually a pretty good listener." Pyrrha defends her battle-sister, getting a surprise hug from the ginger bomber.
Item #: SCP-008-J
Object Class: Euclid
"Please be like the last one." Jaune prayed.
"Honestly, I feel this SCP should be Keter." Xion off handley says, noticing everyone looking at her she states. "Keep watching."
"Question, what does the 'J' stand for?" Ruby asks.
"It stands for 'Joke'." Everyone looks to the good doctor. "Believe it or not, I'm not Joking… Fuck." She added when she released she made a pun with the only one laughing be Yang, Ren and surprisingly Salem.
Special Containment Procedures: All attempts to contain SCP-008-J have met with failure for apparently unrelated reasons. However, SCP-008-J repeatedly returns to Foundation sites, seemingly unintentionally.
"Ah, that's what you meant by it should Keter." Ren gives an understanding as Xion nods in agreement.
Description: SCP-008-J has been registered as an SCP on a probationary basis, until Commander Price is able to prove that it possesses anomalous properties.
"Wait, it's an SCP but they want to know if it has anomalous properties?" Weiss looks to the doctor.
"Most believe Commander Price is making it up." Xion calmly says without going into further detail.
SCP-008-J is a 23-year-old Caucasian male, who answers to the name Geoff, who, by a series of seemingly non-anomalous coincidences, frequently gains access into high-security areas of Foundation sites without intent or knowledge. SCP-008-J resists containment by similar means.
"So it's just stupid luck than?" Yang asks.
"I don't feel like discovering a foundation site is lucky." Weiss commented on getting an agreement from the gold brawler.
Below is a list of SCP-008-J sightings. In all instances, Commander Price is the first staff member to encounter SCP-008-J. No evidence has been found to suggest that this isn't just another coincidence.
"For some reason, I have a feeling this will be good." Nora said with excitement, gaining agreements from the Xiao Long-Rose sisters and her fearless leader.
Incident: 008/1
Date: ██/██/████
Description: SCP-008-J was hired for his expertise as an electrician, to repair the lights at Stephany's Classy Posies, the florist which acts as a front for the ███████ Site. Due to a minor containment breach, the shop was unstaffed when SCP-008-J arrived. Moments later, SCP-008-J was found, aimlessly wandering the halls of the ███████ Site's restricted corridors.
"Wait, how did he wander into the restricted corridors?" Weiss asks with disbelief.
"Maybe this Commander Price has some?" Ruby added.
"Or, the breach could have knocked something offline?" Nora threw in which got some nods of agreement but Weiss is still questioning the odds.
Transcript:
Commander Price: (Talking over radio) Alright, Alpha Team, spread out on the south corridor and make as much noise as possible. Beta, try to get the jump on it. Knockout gas is for last resort only, we all know what this thing is like when it's sleepy!
"Wonder what they're fighting?" Pyrrha asks out loud.
"Something that clearly doesn't like to sleep." Jaune answered, getting a small giggle from the champion.
SCP-008-J: Hey! Excuse me!
Commander Price: (Startled) Who the hell are you!?
SCP-008-J: Alright, mate? I'm Geoff. I'm here to fix the lights. Sorry, there was no one in the shop.
"His accent sounds similar to Sun's friend, Scarlet." Blake whispered, the thought confused her more than most of the anomalies so far.
Commander Price: No one in the… How did you get back here!?
SCP-008-J: (Confused) Erm, I walked?
Commander Price: There are three ID card readers between here and the shop!
SCP-008-J: Right… Yeah… Look mate, I've got five other people to see today. Do you want me to have a look at your lights, or not?
Weiss looks flabbergasted at what she was hearing now. "How did he get in?"
Closing Statement: SCP-008-J was placed in the custody of Agent ████████ while the containment breach was suppressed, however, Agent ████████ suffered a fatal aneurysm moments later, prompting SCP-008-J to return to Stephanie's Classy Posies, call for an ambulance, and leave a note, instructing Commander Price to contact him when he is ready to have his lights repaired.
"At least he called for an ambulance." Pyrrha smiles as Weiss was trying to wrap her head around the three ID card readers.
Incident: 008/2
Date: ██/██/████
Description: SCP-008-J is seen at the ██████ City Foundation carpentry front, Super Craftsmanship Protocols. After requesting to use the on-site lavatories, SCP-008-J mistook the directions given to him, and made his way through a door to the Site's containment facility. The electronic lock had recently been destroyed by an agent of the Chaos Insurgency, who began hacking into the Foundation's mainframe, moments after SCP-008-J's arrival.
"At least that makes sense." Weiss said while her voice became dryer.
"Who the Chaos Insurgency?" Pyrrha asks.
"One of many rogue factions that uses SCP for their own use." Xion answers.
"Like Marshall, Carter and Dark?" Blake asks.
"Yes, MCD are also known to make deals with the Insurgency as well." Xion said with an annoyed tone which is understandable to everyone in the room.
Transcript:
Commander Price: Alright people! I want this site on lockdown and every room powered down but this one! If that stolen data gets transmitted it's all our asses on the —
SCP-008-J: Hey man! Long time no see!
"Wait, what stolen data?" Ren asks out loud.
Commander Price: What the…
SCP-008-J: Don't you work at a florist?
The sisters and Nora's Arc pairs laugh as their partners and the witch hold it in… Except for Weiss for obvious reasons.
Commander Price: How did…?
SCP-008-J: Looks like you're busy. Sorry, I just got lost on my way to the gents.
Commander Price: This is a top-secret military installation! How the hell do you keep doing this?
A still laughing Nora comments. "Because the person your hunting down broke the lock."
SCP-008-J: You don't make a lot of sense. Anyone ever tell you that? Anyway, I mention the gents cause I've kinda gotta pee. Couldn't be a pal and point me in the right direction, could you?
"Yeah, be a pal." Yang joins in for Geoff.
Closing Statement: While personally leading SCP-008-J to a containment cell, Commander Price was confronted by the Chaos Insurgency agent, and both were taken hostage, under the threat of detonating a handheld explosive. Once clear of the facility, the agent was extracted by car, leaving Commander Price to attempt to capture SCP-008-J at gunpoint, before being arrested by local authorities, allowing SCP-008-J's escape.
Everyone sans for Weiss laughs at the Commander's poor luck, Xion even gave a small chuckle.
Incident: 008/3
Date: ██/██/████
Description: SCP-████ began to show signs of awakening from its 2,000 years of hibernation. Because of his nautical combat experience, Commander Price is relocated to the ██████ Site, beneath the Atlantic Ocean, overlooking the fissure in which SCP-████ resides. The means by which SCP-008-J came to be at the site are unknown.
"How. The. Fuck! Does that work!" Weiss shouted.
"Thought cursing wasn't ladylike." Yang teasing the heiress, Weiss turns to her partner's sister with a glare that narrowly froze her solid.
Transcript:
Commander Price: Alright people, it's go time! I want suppressing fire on this thing NOW! Neptune squadron, hit it with everything you've got! If this thing gets one claw to the surface, then…
SCP-008-J: Hey, I remember you!
"Wait, what does he mean by 'one claw to the surface'?" Ruby asks with concern in her voice.
Commander Price: (Exasperated and enraged) FUCK!
As before, the room was filled with laughter.
SCP-008-J: Can you help me out? I'm a bit turned around. I'm trying to get to Grays Street.
Commander Price: WE'RE 3,000 METERS UNDER THE FUCKING OCEAN!
"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN GET THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?" Weiss shouted.
SCP-008-J: (Produces smartphone) Well that explains why my map won't load.
Commander Price: WHO THE FLAMING CHRIST ARE YOU!?
"I don't know who this Christ person is but something tells me that my new cuss." Yang laughed a little.
"His name is Geoff." Nora said with a giggle.
SCP-008-J: Geoff, remember? Hey, are you on Facebook? I feel like I keep running into you! We should be friends!
"What's 'Facebook'?" Ren asks the doctor.
"A Social Media site that in opinion is a little over rated." Xion says, while no one is looking, cheeking her tumblr for any fan art of Warhammer. 'Damn you father.'
Closing Statement: Due to the absence of holding cells on Site ██████, SCP-008-J was secured in an escape pod, since departure is permitted only with a passcode or ID card. However, after the site suffered a blow from SCP-████, the escape pod malfunctioned and launched from the facility, failing to collide with 17 of SCP-████'s active tentacles, before progressing to open waters.
"Is this thing a kraken or something?" A confused Ruby asks.
SCP-008-J was lost at sea and presumed dead, until two days later, when Commander Price received a Facebook friend request from SCP-008-J, along with a message, which read, "Sorry about the pod. I left it somewhere in Florida. Hope you get it back ok! :D"
Another roar of laughter begins, this time joined fully by Xion as Weiss groans in her hands.
Nora came back on screen looking like she was trying to hold her laughter. "Well, I hope you enjoy-" *Knock, Knock, Knock* Nora turns to where sound came from. "What, who is knocking at my door at this hour? No, it couldn't be. Um, excuse me for a moment." The screen meets static before it comes back to Nora who looks at the screen with a bewildered look.
"It was!" Nora cheered knowing the answer.
"Well, apparently 008 was outside my office door. But I don't know where he went." She turns to where her door is before turning back to the screen. "Huh, I'll have to inform security about… Wait a second." Her eyes narrow. "If 008 is here, then that means-" *Knock, Knock, Knock*
"Commander Price!" Ruby shouted.
"Dr. Valkyrie, ma'am, are you in there?" Commander Price is heard through the door, all while Nora places a hand to her face in a groan. "I swear I just saw, SCP-008-J. He was just here a minute ago ma'am." His voice fades in the background as Nora turns to the camera.
The laughter begins again all while Weiss gives an empathic look for the commander.
"Well, I'm not going to get any sleep tonight. Manly for all the paperwork for this… 'Incident'." She looks up before giving a final smile. "Before I must talk with Commander Price about his little 'friend', I hope you enjoyed the file." Commander Price knocks more. "Yes, Commander. I've heard you."
"I'm telling you ma'am, I'm not crazy."
"I believe you." Weiss said genuinely all well everyone still laughs at his misfortune.
Hey guys, hoped you guys enjoyed are first SCP-J file. Now time for the reviews.
From Wall Maria's time master: I know... To bad about the next chapter. Also thanks.
Thanks for writing Wall Maria's time master
From Le Phoque Blanc: Nope, it was a cliffhanger. The only hit I'll give is cheek Dr. Arc's appearance at the start of the chapter and will notice the handy work of a SCP on the list.
Thanks for writing Le Phoque Blanc
From Wombag1786: In a way, yes. There actually sect of the Church of the Broken God for that level of technology.
Thanks for writing Wombag1786
From kept123: Your welcome...
Thanks for writing kept123
From Combine117: Yeah, her creations are deathly protective of her. Jaune learned the hard way.
Thanks for writing Combine117
From nwn: I have not a clue what that means. What's Series One?
Thanks for writing nwn
From Crazypumdude: It's not on my list, but when I make the list for the next one I'll add it in.
Thanks for writing Crazypumdude