A/N: Thanks for your reviews!
Chapter 71-It's My Party- Part 1
"No," Johanna said for what seemed like the hundredth time in a row that Sunday afternoon.
"But, Johanna," her mother said. "Colleen does have a point."
"No, she doesn't," she argued. "I'm not obligated to have Paul in my wedding party and I'm not going to."
Naomi sighed. "You're not obligated but it would be a nice gesture."
"I'm not doing it!"
"It would mean a lot to your sister. After all, you are having your sister-in-law as a bridesmaid and if you're going to have one in-law; you should have both."
Johanna shook her head. "No; I shouldn't. It's totally different with Valerie."
"How do you figure?"
"Well for one thing, I picked Valerie before Frankie and Colleen even entered my wedding party list. Two, I like Valerie and I don't like Paul."
"Neither do I," Frank said from behind his newspaper as he sat in his favorite chair.
"This isn't about liking or disliking," Naomi remarked. "It's about family."
"It's my wedding," Johanna declared. "I chose my sister to be a bridesmaid and instead of being happy and saying 'yes, of course I'll do that for you, especially considering the hellish nightmare I put you through for my own wedding'; I get 'I'll have to talk to Paul about it'…like she needs his permission to be in her sister's wedding! That isn't normal. It's not a sign of a good relationship when you have ask your husband's permission to do something as simple as being a bridesmaid! As for family; I've included my brother, sister-in-law and nephew…and still waiting on an answer from my sister. That's plenty of family inclusion."
"She's right," Frank stated; "She's asked both of her siblings; she's having her nephew; she's having her favored in-law. I didn't hear you pushing Colleen to include Frankie in her wedding…Valerie was in it but her own brother wasn't; why didn't you do something about that, Naomi?"
"I tried," she snapped; "Colleen wouldn't budge!"
"Neither am I!" Johanna exclaimed.
"But you're more logical," Naomi said firmly. "Including both siblings and one in-law makes it glaringly obvious that you're snubbing your brother-in-law."
"I don't really care! I don't like him and he doesn't like me, so why would he want to be in my wedding anyway? It makes no sense for him to be in my wedding."
"He's not blood, Naomi," Frank remarked as he turned a page.
"I'm aware of that," Naomi replied. "But Colleen and Paul are more sensitive than other members of this family. I'm not sure Colleen will agree to be in the wedding if Paul isn't included."
"Then Colleen won't be in the wedding," Johanna replied.
"I would hate to see that happen," her mother stated.
"So would I but that's how it is. I picked my maid of honor and bridesmaids…"
"Don't you think you should've asked Colleen to be your maid of honor," Naomi interrupted. "She is your sister."
"No; I don't think I should've asked her. I told her during her wedding that I wouldn't be asking her to be my maid of honor when I got married…not that anyone cared what I said back then; after all, you all had me pegged as the family spinster. Well I fooled you all and I'm getting married. I picked Maggie as my maid of honor and that's how it's staying. I picked my bridesmaids. Jim picked his best man and groomsmen; those positions are his to give…not mine, yours or Colleen's. They're Jim's, and I'm not asking him to drop his brother or his friends for Paul. I'm also not increasing the number of the bridal party to suit her."
"You could accommodate your sister."
"No! I'm not changing things to suit her; I just told you that!"
"What would you really be changing?!" Naomi exclaimed in exasperation. "All you've done is write names on a sheet of paper. Nothing has been arranged or ordered. It's not like a small change would put you out!"
Johanna rubbed her fingers across her forehead. "Mom; if Colleen can't remember that she has a backbone and tell her husband that she's being in my wedding whether he's included or not, then that's her problem, not mine. She should be able to be a bridesmaid for her sister without needing his permission. She should be able to be a bridesmaid while he sits with the guests a few feet away. He doesn't need to be up her ass all the time. The choice is hers; she can be a bridesmaid and get over this thing of wanting to shove Paul in where he doesn't belong; or she can be replaced and she can sit with her husband as a guest at the wedding."
"You'd really rather your sister not be in your wedding than make an exception for Paul?" her mother asked.
Johanna nodded. "That's about the size of it."
"You're just like you're father," Naomi stated.
Frank lowered his newspaper and glanced at his wife and daughter who were at the kitchen table that they had moved into the room for Sunday dinner. "That's why if we dumped both of our daughters in the woods, Johanna would find her way out…and Colleen would crawl into a log and die."
"Frank!" Naomi gasped.
"It's probably true," Johanna laughed.
"It is," Frank confirmed with a nod.
Naomi blew out a breath. "I don't know what it is, but there's something about wedding planning that puts the two of you on the same wavelength."
"We have a low tolerance for unnecessary bullshit," Frank stated as he turned another page of his newspaper. "You're already turning up the aggravation and she hasn't even planned anything yet aside from who to ask to be her attendants."
"Well I think she could appease her sister a little; especially when she's having Valerie as a bridesmaid."
"Oh yes," Johanna said dramatically; "We have to cater to mommy's favorite."
"I don't have favorites!" Naomi yelled.
"Yes, you do," Frank stated; "But it's not Colleen; it's Johanna."
"I'm not so sure of that, Dad. I think it's Colleen."
"No, trust me, it's you."
"Then why is she being this way?" Johanna asked.
"Because this is how your mother is when she's planning a wedding."
"I just want everyone to be happy!" Naomi declared.
"You mean you want Colleen to be happy," Johanna remarked; "Just like always. All of her life you've catered to her."
"That's not true."
"Oh but it is," she stated; "All the time, all me and Frankie ever heard was 'well she's just a baby, she doesn't understand' or 'she's just a little girl'…or when she'd whine she wanted one of my toys to play with 'well, dear; you've played with it all afternoon, let your sister have a turn, she's just a little girl, you need to understand," she said as she mimicked her mother's voice.
Frank chuckled. "She does you pretty good, Naomi."
His wife frowned at him. "She does not."
"She does."
Naomi smirked at both of them. "Can you mimic your father, miss smarty pants?"
"No," Johanna replied; "But Frankie does…he nails it every single time. It's like Dad's in the room."
"When does he do that?" Frank demanded to know.
"When you're not in the room," she answered.
Her father huffed and snapped his newspaper as he returned to his reading.
Naomi leaned back in her chair, breathing deeply and telling herself to put further wedding party discussion on hold for the time being. "You need to work on setting a date."
"We picked one yesterday," Johanna replied. "August 18th."
"You only picked one? You need to pick more than one in case we can't get a venue or the church for the date."
"We like the that one…we like the sound of 8/18…it's easy to remember…and it has a personal significance to us," Johanna said, thinking about how it was a date that occurred during their road trip, which she felt was the turning point in their relationship that had set them on the course they were on now. She hadn't really told Jim that part of why she liked the date so much but she didn't feel she needed to…they both knew.
"And what significance is that?" Naomi asked.
"It's personal," she said, unwilling to share the tidbit despite its innocence. She feared that it would be deemed silly by one parent or the other…her mother's switch had been flipped to 'mother of the bride' mode; she could be somewhat unpredictable now.
Her mother's brow rose. "What do you mean personal? What kind of personal!?"
Johanna rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, it's not the date of the first time we had sex."
"Johanna Elizabeth!"
"Personal means none of your business, Naomi," Frank stated from the chair; "You know when you get nosy she says things you don't like."
"I don't need you help, Frank! Although I'd think you'd be appalled by that statement."
Frank sighed; seeing another long stretch of months ahead of him now that his wife was in wedding mode once again. "Why be appalled; it's not like I thought she was an innocent…I mean you did tell me she was on birth control. She's never had female problems so the only reason to be on them is premarital sex."
"Mom!" Johanna exclaimed. "Why would you tell him about my pills!"
Naomi wrung her hands. "Because it bothered me to know about them."
"You wouldn't have known if you hadn't been nosy."
"I know! But I figured if I had to know, he could know too…I thought he'd suffer from the knowledge like I was but it didn't seem to bother him. He thought it was a good idea!"
"Oh God," Johanna muttered.
"It's alright," Frank stated. "I'd rather know you're on the pill than have you come home with an illegitimate baby."
She rubbed her temples. "Why did I come here today?"
"Because your mother demanded it once your tattle tale sister called her."
"Right," Johanna said; "The baby had to call and cry to mommy."
"Quit talking about your sister in that tone of voice," Naomi demanded.
"Aww, go ahead and say it, Mama; you have to understand, she's just a baby…she's just a little girl…"
"She's just a little pain in the ass," Frank supplied.
Johanna laughed as her mother glared at both of them. "That's enough out of both of you," Naomi stated. "Now, this business about your personal date. That may very well be the date you want but you're not guaranteed to get it so I suggest that you and Jim pick some alternative dates."
"Fine; we pick the following weekend."
"You can't decide that without your fiancé!"
"Then why are you asking me!?"
"Because I thought you'd have more than one date!"
"We thought we only needed one!"
"Must you both yell!" Frank bellowed.
"Yes!" they both snapped.
"Good grief, this is going to be a long eight months," Frank muttered.
"Tell me about it," Johanna replied; "In the last hour I've started to seriously consider eloping."
"That's always a good choice," her father remarked.
"No, it isn't," Naomi stated. "Now, Johanna; you need to pick at least two more dates…and you need to do that with Jim; so write that down in your little notebook you're doodling in."
She sighed as she looked down at the page she had written their chosen date on the night before. She had, somehow, without notice, doodled hearts and stars all around it. She didn't want another date…she wanted this one…but she knew that there were factors that could prevent that from happening so she made a note to herself to discuss other dates with Jim.
"Now for the engagement party," Naomi stated.
She groaned a little, wishing she had put the brakes on that and waited awhile longer for it…but no, she had allowed herself to get rushed into that. "What about it?"
"We need to know who you're inviting, dear. The party is at the end of the month, we need to get the invitations mailed."
"Can't I just hand the majority of them to the people I want there?" she asked.
"Why would you want to do that?"
"Convenience?" Johanna said with a shrug. "Jim and I will be inviting people we work with…and we see those people five days a week…so…"
"If you hand deliver invitations; the co-workers you're not inviting will know whose getting snubbed, dear."
"They're going to know anyway; no one in our building can keep a secret. Besides; it's also common knowledge of who hates who in our firm…so; nothing to fear by handing out invitations when we see someone."
"It's really not done that way, Bambina."
"I don't really care…I don't see the point in mailing a party invitation when I can just hand them to people."
"It's about formality."
"It's about a waste of money on postage," Frank stated. "Let her hand them to her friends who she sees nearly every day. She can mail the ones to the people she doesn't see every day."
"Fine," Naomi stated; "But we need to know how many people you're inviting…so give me a ballpark number."
Johanna grimaced a little. "I don't know."
Her mother gave a sigh of suffering. "Johanna; you have to get serious about this. Pretend it's the bar exam again. Maybe then you'll concentrate."
"Don't start about my job," she snapped. "You started that crap when Colleen's wedding was going on and I'm not going to listen to it again with mine."
Naomi met her eye with a firm glare. "I wasn't going to start anything; but I figure since you give so much focus to your career; it would help you to think of planning your wedding in the same vein; so don't get snippy with me."
"Don't act like my job is the only thing I care about and I won't!"
"Write out a damn list of who you're inviting to the party and you won't have to worry about it! We're throwing this party for you and you haven't done anything!"
"She didn't ask you to," Frank remarked. "You and Bridget said you would take care of it, so take care of it."
"I don't know her friends!"
"Johanna," Frank said; "Write a list of friends and relatives you'd like to see at the party and give your mother a number. If anyone is missing from the list that she feels needs to be on it, she can add them herself."
Johanna breathed deeply. "I think that's something I need to do with Jim because I don't know who all in his family he'll want to invite."
"Fine," her father said with a nod. "You and Jim work on the list and then give your mother a number by Tuesday night, alright?"
She blew out a breath. "Okay."
"See, Naomi," Frank stated; "You don't have to get frantic. All you have to do is tell her what she needs to do and give her a deadline, it's not that hard."
"Since when do you get involved?" his wife asked sharply.
Frank glared at her. "I get involved when my peace is being disturbed," he stated; "And you're both disturbing my peace when you start yelling at each other…and if it doesn't stop now, it'll turn from English to Italian and then I won't know what the hell you're saying or how to stop it."
"Just what are you insinuating?" Naomi asked.
"He's insinuating that we're Italian and proving it," Johanna remarked.
Frank gave a nod. "See, she's a smart girl; you don't need to crack a whip on her when she's barely been engaged for a month."
"She's getting married in August; we don't have time to waste! Her engagement party is mere weeks away. We don't have time to waste on that either!"
"We'll get it done, Mom," Johanna said as she rubbed her forehead once more, feeling the stirring of a headache. "Jim and I will work on our list tonight."
"Fine…and while you're at it; I believe the night before the engagement party will be a good time to have Jim's parents over here for dinner so we can all get acquainted."
"You're already acquainted with Elizabeth," she replied; feeling her head throb even more. "I don't think the two of you need to meet again."
"We do," Naomi remarked; "Your father hasn't met her…"
"I'm looking forward to that," Frank said, a touch of darkness in his tone.
"We also need to get to know Jim's father," Naomi added.
"Dad," Johanna said.
"What, Josie?"
"You'll still pick up Grandma, right?"
"Your grandmother will be here," he replied. "I'll get her."
"I really don't think we need your grandmother here," Naomi remarked.
"I do," Johanna replied; "I want Grandma here…and Jim can bring his grandmother. Lilly is very nice; she'll get along well with Grandma."
"Fine; then you tell Jim to speak to his family and let them know that we'd like to have them over the evening before the party. If that date isn't convenient, we'll move it up."
"God I hope it doesn't get moved up," she muttered.
"Relax, it'll be fine," Naomi stated; "But we have a lot of things to do, Johanna. You can't be slacking off about this. We need to start looking for dresses soon and we need…" she droned on and on.
Johanna allowed her thoughts to drift as her mother listed things on the to do list. It was so much…she felt like she was being thrown into the deep end of the ocean. Engagement party guest list, parents dinner, engagement party, wedding planning…she wished she was home…with Jim…and it was funny to her that his apartment was just as much home to her as her own. He was at his place right now…she could be there with him; ask him to order something for dinner because her head was really starting to pound; he'd take care of her and she'd feel better.
"Johanna! Are you listening to me!?" her mother exclaimed as she smacked her arm.
She gave a shake of her head. "No, not really."
"See, this is what I mean! You're not taking this seriously!"
"Mom, I have a headache. I think we've yelled about enough today, okay?"
"You always seem to have a headache," Naomi remarked.
Frank scoffed. "I can't imagine why."
"What's with you today, Frank?" his wife asked as she looked at him.
"I hate how you get when you plan a wedding," he answered.
"Too bad! This wedding is going to go off without a hitch! It's our last one, Frank; I'm not letting it be anything less than perfect."
Johanna sighed as she closed her notebook. "Okay, this has been fun but I think I'm going to head home, get something for my headache…work on that guest list."
"You're supposed to stay for dinner," her mother replied.
"I'm not really hungry," she remarked.
"Don't do this, Johanna," Naomi stated.
"Do what?"
"Get your feathers ruffled and run off. You're staying for dinner; go upstairs and get something for your headache and then we'll continue working on a list of things that need done."
"Mom, I really do have a headache. I just want to go home and be with my fiancé."
"You'll survive a few more hours without him; isn't he having dinner with his parents?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"His mother is still mad about our engagement."
"Oh," Naomi replied; "She is a dramatic one."
"Yeah; but I am going to head home. I'll come back and have dinner with you this week…maybe Tuesday since you want a number by then, okay?"
"Why don't you just stay today like you're supposed to and still come back Tuesday?" her mother asked. "Your sister will be here soon and then Frankie and Valerie will be here closer to dinner."
Colleen was coming, Johanna mused…this was definitely the time to get out. Her head really was starting to throb and her sister would only make it worse if she and her mother teamed up about the issue of Paul. No; she couldn't do it; she just had to go. "I'm just going to have to owe you one, Mom. I really do have a headache."
Naomi sighed. "You just want to put an end to the planning."
"No; I just want to go home and take care of my headache so I can work on the list you want, okay?"
"You'd think if you didn't feel well that you'd want to stay here."
"It'll be quieter if I just go home to my fiancé."
"I thought he didn't live with you," Frank stated; a slightly accusing note in his tone.
"He doesn't…but I'm staying with him this weekend."
"Why?" her father asked.
Johanna looked at him oddly. "Because I want to…we're engaged; it's not a big deal if we stay with each other on the weekends."
"So I'm never going to be able to reach you on weekends now!?" Naomi exclaimed. "It's hard enough as it is sometimes!"
"No, Mom," she sighed. "I'm not staying at his place every weekend. I do go out on the weekends to run errands, it's not like I'm trying to avoid you."
"Sometimes I'm not so sure of that…especially now when you want to drag your heels about planning things."
Johanna laid her notebook on the table and sank back into her chair. "Fine, Mom; I'll stay…but I'm not doing anymore planning right now."
"Why not!"
"I told you; I have a headache!"
"When you get a headache at work do you go home?" Naomi asked.
"No; but I'd like to."
"Well if you can stick it out at work, you can stick it out for a little more planning discussion."
Frank laid his paper aside. "Come on, Johanna; I'll take you where you want to go; because if you stay, your mother is going to stay on your case and that headache is going to become another one of those migraines and I hate seeing you have one of those."
"Frank," Naomi sputtered.
"No; it's done for today," he told her. "Get your stuff, Johanna."
Johanna hurriedly grabbed her notebook and kissed her mother's cheek. "See you Tuesday, Mom. I love you."
"I love you too," her mother said with a sigh as she watched her daughter hurry away to get her coat and purse. She gave her husband a glare but he merely smiled in response which plucked her nerves and irritated her. Why couldn't he ever do what she wanted him to do?
Boredom and hunger was weighing on Jim as he sat staring at his TV screen, watching some old movie that he wasn't really interested in. His main concern though was his stomach…and the thought that he wished Johanna had stayed home and provided dinner and her company. He frowned, she might not exactly like that sentiment but he meant it in the best way possible. She should've taken him with her…then at least he'd have a home cooked meal; his future mother-in-law was a wonderful cook.
But they were planning the party and probably dipping into the wedding planning too and being in the room with two opinionated women in planning mode probably wasn't desirable. He wondered if Frank had made an escape or if he had merely gone somewhere else in the house to hide.
Before he could ponder that thought further, he heard the scrape of a key in the lock and the door swung open, revealing his fiancée. "Wishes come true," he said with a grin.
"What's that mean?" Johanna asked as she dropped her purse onto the stand and shrugged out of her coat.
"It means I was sitting here wishing you were here."
"Oh?"
"Yeah…I missed you."
"I missed you too," she replied as she made her way to the sofa to kiss him.
Jim smiled, catching hold of her hand. "How much did you miss me?" he asked, a touch of suggestion in his tone.
Johanna eyed him knowingly. "Not enough to have afternoon sex on the couch."
"There goes my plan to alleviate the boredom of this day," he laughed.
"Sorry," she said, a smile of her own on her lips as she caressed his cheek. "Maybe next time."
"Where are you going?" he asked as she drifted away.
"To get something for my headache."
"Stress headache or are you coming down with something?" he called after her.
The squeak of the medicine cabinet sounded, his question going unanswered for the time being as he waited for her to return. After a few minutes, she made her way back to the living room and joined him on the couch.
"You're not getting sick are you?" Jim asked again.
"No; it's just a headache…not a migraine but not necessarily dull either."
He nodded, his hand falling to her knee. "How come you're home early? I thought you were eating dinner at your mom's."
"I came home because I have a headache," she replied, her gaze on the TV. "I also came home because I had enough of debating things…of planning things…and the knowledge that Colleen was coming to dinner. If I had stayed, I'm sure she and Mom would've teamed up on the 'include Paul' bandwagon and I just couldn't do it today."
"I don't blame you."
"So now I've got to go over there for dinner Tuesday night…and I need to have our engagement party guest list with me."
"Why," he asked.
Johanna glanced at him. "So the invitations can be done."
"Oh…well, we'll get it done before Tuesday."
"We're going to do it tonight."
"Tonight? But it's Sunday."
"Yeah," she said slowly; "So it's the perfect time to get it done."
"But it's the day of rest."
"So lay down while you help me think of names," Johanna remarked, turning to face him. "I can only fill in my family; you're going to have to give me yours."
"Alright," he conceded. "We'll work on it tonight."
"We also have to have two more dates for the wedding."
"Why!" Jim exclaimed. "I like August 18th…it's easy to remember, 8/18…it flows."
"I know, and that's the one I want too but Mom says we have to have an alternate date in case we can't get the church or wherever we have the reception for the 18th."
"The following weekend," he stated.
"That's what I said but she told me I had to discuss it with you first."
Jim smiled a little. "As long as you tell me when to show up, I'm fine with you picking back up dates that we hopefully won't need…because I really want the one that's easy to remember."
"I know," she said, patting his hand. "Hopefully it'll work out the way we want…but I just couldn't listen to the to-do list anymore today with my mother."
"I understand," he replied. "Do you want to go out to dinner?"
"No; I don't feel up to going out. I want to stay in."
Jim was quiet for a minute. "Do you want to cook dinner?"
"No."
Another beat of silence followed as he considered that answer. "But I'm hungry."
She gave a soft laugh. "Me too…but I was kind of hoping maybe we could order something or you could go get us something."
"No problem," he replied. "How about a bucket of chicken and the side dishes?"
"Honestly, that sounds pretty good; don't forget the biscuits."
"Never," he declared; "I would never even think it."
"Good to know," she laughed.
"Do you want to go with me to get the food?" Jim asked as he got up from the sofa.
"No; I'd really rather stay here if you don't mind," Johanna answered.
"I don't mind," he told her as he leaned down and kissed her. "Lay down while I'm gone; maybe a little nap will get rid of that headache."
"I think I will lay down until you get back," she replied as she reached for the blanket that was folded on the back of the couch. "The medicine should have time to kick in while you're out."
"Alright, I'll be back shortly."
"I'll be here," she promised.
Later that night, Johanna was clad in her nightgown as she laid on her stomach in bed, her pen in hand and poised over her notebook. "Are you ready to do this?" she asked as Jim settled in beside her, the remote control in hand.
Jim glanced at her. "You're the one who wanted me to put a TV in here."
"I know; and I'm glad we have one now…and I don't care if you turn it on but I do need you to help me with this," she replied. "I told you my mother wants it by Tuesday."
"I know," he answered as he quickly found something on the TV and turned the volume down so that it would only serve as background noise. "Let's start with your family; who do you want to invite to the party from your side of the family? And who are you obligated to invite?"
"Obligated is a key word," Johanna remarked with a small smile. "Okay, first is my parents of course," she said as she wrote "Mom and Dad" on the first line.
"Yeah; you definitely have to invite them," Jim said with a nod.
"Oh good, you're going to help me by stating the obvious," she replied lightly.
"That's what I'm here for, sweetheart."
"Okay, next on the list…Grandma, Frankie, Valerie, Colleen…and her pansy ass husband Paul…"
"Are we putting that on the invitation?" Jim asked with a laugh.
"It's tempting but no," she replied; "Then we have Aunt Bridget and Uncle Will. I don't know if Aunt Margaret will make the trip for the party but I'll invite her anyway. Dad will probably insist on me inviting his brother so Uncle Colin and Aunt Audrey, although I doubt they'll come, which is fine with me. I'll have to invite Aunt Rita and her husband and Uncle Tony and Aunt Jean."
"Is that all of the aunts and uncles?"
"I think so…except the great aunts but they're getting up there in age so engagement parties probably aren't their thing…but maybe I should invite Grandma's favorite sister…"
"Who would that be?"
"Francesca," Johanna answered. "We usually just call her Aunt Fran though. She doesn't live far from Grandma, just up the street a little; Dad could bring them both into the city if Fran wants to come. What do you think? Should I invite her to the engagement party? I mean I definitely will invite her to the wedding but I don't want her to think I snubbed her about the party."
"Then invite her to the party; if she doesn't want to come that's okay but at least you know you extended the invitation."
She nodded. "Good idea…now cousins…I have so many of those…do I need to invite them all? Some of them live out of town so they're not going to come in for a party but the ones closer by might."
"Invite the ones near by."
Johanna wrote down the names of three of Bridget's children and the children of her aunt Margaret and Uncle Tony. "I don't like Colin's kids…I don't want to invite them; they're the type who show up whether you like them or not."
"Leave them off the list," Jim remarked.
"Okay; I think I'm done with my relatives. Let's do yours now."
"Alright," Jim stated. "My Dad."
"And your mother," Johanna added as she wrote Robert and Elizabeth on the first line of Jim's page.
"Do we have to invite her? I think she might kill the party mood."
She giggled. "Yes, we have to invite her."
"Alright, if you insist," he laughed. "Grandma and Andrew."
Johanna wrote down their names. "I know you're mad at them but you're going to have to invite Michael and Natalie."
"Why?" Jim asked; "I mean they have so many responsibilities that I don't see how it would be possible for them to attend."
She smiled indulgently. "I know…but if we don't invite them, we'll look petty."
"I'm okay with that," he said, his gaze on the TV screen.
"Well I already have enough problems coming at me with this stuff so we're going to invite them anyway," Johanna said as she wrote Michael and Natalie's name on the line.
"If you insist."
She sighed slightly. "Okay, who else?"
"I guess you better put down Madelyn," Jim replied. "William's in Germany so no need to pretend like I want him there. A lot of my relatives are in Pennsylvania."
"That's not all that far away though."
"I know…so put Aunt Vivian and Uncle George on the list. Uncle Harry and Aunt Nancy. My aunt Linda is in Maine so that's too far…we'll invite her to the wedding though…is the engagement party list the same as the wedding list?"
"I don't really know," Johanna confessed. "I don't think it should be…so let's just continue for now with the assumption that it's not exactly the same guest list as the wedding."
"Alright; then we won't worry about the far away relatives right now."
"Right. What about your grandfather? Do you want to invite him to the party?"
"No," Jim replied. "I'm not inviting Aunt Theresa either."
"Okay," she said, not bothering to push the issue. Jim wasn't close to his grandfather and from she had been told, she was sure Mr. Bradley probably wouldn't attend an engagement party anyway. "What about cousins?"
Jim listed some of his cousins to invite and then gave his attention to the TV, figuring they were done with the guest list.
"Now for the next part," Johanna said after swallowing a sip of her tea and putting her glass back on the nightstand.
"What next part?" he asked.
"Our friends."
"You know who they are," Jim replied; "Just scribble down their names and then relax with me."
"You're supposed to help me!"
"You know our friends, what is there to help with?"
"You might have friends you want to invite that I don't know. We do know more people besides the ones we work with."
"We can work on it more tomorrow."
"I want to get it done!"
"Come on, Jo; the rest can wait until tomorrow. I thought you weren't feeling your best?"
"I'm not; but that doesn't mean I can't finish this."
"It can wait; just settle down and relax so you'll be able to sleep. We have to work tomorrow."
"I'm aware of that," she said sharply.
"Then go put that notebook away and then come to bed and relax."
Johanna huffed as she got up from the bed and left the room; she was starting to get a glimpse of the next several months. She'd be bickering with her mother and her fiancé would want to do the bare minimum to help her. Instead of shoving her notebook into her briefcase, she carried it to the kitchen and flipped on the light. She moved to the table and sat down, figuring she may as well just finish the damn list on her own.
"Maggie, Jeff, Sharon, Phil, Zach, Claudia, Sally, Sam, Antonia, Isabel…" she wrote before pausing to think of other names in the law firm she needed to include. "Cathy, Mark, Karen, Barbara…"
She sighed, wading through the names of other colleagues, trying to think of who else warranted an invite. She wrote down a few names of guys she knew Jim talked to a good bit at work and then she wrote down a few of her friends from school that were still local. She didn't know if Jim had any college friends that he wanted to invite to the party but she figured if he did, that was just too bad since he didn't want to help her make the list.
"Jo," Jim said from the doorway. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" she asked, her tone slightly biting. "I'm working on this guest list."
"We can finish it tomorrow."
"I want to get it done."
"What's the big hurry? You've been only been doing a little bit at a time each time you open up your notebook and then you quit for the night."
"Yeah, well, now I have a deadline for the list, Jim. My mother wants it Tuesday. This is Sunday. I can't just write ten names and then not do anymore until the next day. I'm going to finish it tonight and be done with it and then I won't be thinking about it at work for the next two days."
Jim sighed loudly as he pulled out a chair and sat down; his distaste at the idea obvious.
"You don't have to help me," she stated. "I know you don't want to and I wouldn't want you to strain yourself."
"You shouldn't have gone to your mother's; you came home cranky."
"I'm cranky because I feel stressed about getting this list done, I have a case in court this week and my period is due; so forgive me for having a uterus."
He smirked in amusement. "In that case, I should've dropped you off at your place."
She glanced at him through narrowed eyes. "If that's how you feel about it, we shouldn't be getting married. Once we're married you don't have the option of dumping me off somewhere else so I don't disturb you."
"It was a joke," Jim replied.
"Sure it was."
"It was," he stated. "You were fine before you went to your mother's this afternoon. I don't know what she said or did to push your buttons…because the things you've told me about the visit don't seem to be worth being upset over. So why don't you just drop all this for tonight and get some rest."
"No; what I need is to get this done," Johanna replied. "So go back to bed and watch whatever it is you wanted to watch and I'll do this. I'm sure I'll be doing the majority of most things without your input, so go, I've got it, it's fine."
"Johanna, don't start being like this," Jim said firmly.
"Being like what?"
"Like this," he replied as he gestured at her. "You're getting crazed over a guest list for an engagement party. It's not that big of a deal and you don't need to do it all tonight. It'll get done when it gets done."
"That's not how things get planned, Jim."
"You have until Tuesday. Just put it away and come to bed."
"Fine!" she exclaimed as she shoved her chair back from the table and gathered up her notebook and pen which she then threw on the counter. "I don't give a damn if it gets done at all!" she said as she stormed from the room.
Jim sighed as her pen rolled off the counter and hit the floor. He had a feeling he had handled this badly. He also couldn't help thinking that maybe he should put a little mark on the calendar so he'd know which week of the month to keep his mouth shut. He blew out a breath and got up from the table. He picked up her pen and closed her notebook, pushing both items back from the edge so they wouldn't fall off again.
He made his way back through his apartment, wishing he had just stayed in bed in the first place instead of making things worse by insisting that she put off her list making until tomorrow. The lights were off when Jim got to the bedroom, leaving him with only the light of the TV to find his way to his side of the bed. "You could've left the light on until I got in here," he commented.
"You do just fine in the dark," his fiancée retorted.
Jim smiled a little as he got into bed. "I'm glad you noticed," he said lightly.
Johanna kept her back to him, tugging the covers up higher and pulling them tightly around her.
That wasn't a good sign, Jim thought to himself as she stayed quiet. He moved toward her, ready to wrap his arm around her, hoping that he could coax her out of this mood with some cuddles and kisses and anything else she needed.
"Don't," she said before his arm could come around her.
"What?"
"Don't touch me," Johanna stated. "Just get back over there on your own side."
He frowned; yeah, this definitely wasn't good. "I just want to kiss you goodnight, sweetheart."
"Don't touch me. Don't kiss me. Just shut up and go to sleep like you wanted."
"I didn't say I wanted to go to sleep…I just said relax," he told her, his tone warm and loving.
"We're not having sex so don't even think about it," Johanna replied. "In fact, don't even think about the idea of thinking about it."
Jim blew out a breath and moved back to his side of the bed. "Come on, Jo; don't be mad. I just don't want you to be stressed about a guest list for a party."
"It has to be done," she said tartly.
"I know; but not right this minute."
"I didn't even ask for this damn party," Johanna muttered. "I don't even know why we're having one."
"Because your aunt and mother wanted to give us one."
"I should've said no."
"Why? It's to celebrate our engagement…it'll be nice."
"Oh yeah; it'll be real nice. Half of your family hates me, my family isn't going to get along with them, our friends will be there to witness the melee and they'll spread the news to the people who weren't invited we'll have to hear about the disaster for the rest of our lives."
"Wow, Jo; that's a great way to think about a party being given in our honor."
"It's the truth," she muttered.
"It is not; it'll be fine. I can guarantee you that my mother isn't going to come. Michael and Natalie aren't going to come…I doubt Madelyn will come. My relatives in Pennsylvania probably aren't going to come. So there's nothing for you to worry about. I'll probably have three relatives there, the rest will be your family and our friends, it'll be fine."
"I feel so much better knowing that your family is going to boycott because they're not happy with your impending marriage," she stated as she pulled her legs up against her.
"It's not like that."
"Yes, it is. Your mother goes without saying; she's made her feelings obvious. I know Madelyn doesn't like me. Michael and Natalie basically slapped you in the face when you asked them to be a part of our wedding because they have to bow to your mother's feelings. You fit in so nicely in my family…and I'm not welcome at all in yours," she said quietly. "The party is just going to confirm that…and everyone is going to know it."
'That's not true; you are welcome in my family. You're just over thinking this, Jo."
"You're the one who just told me that the majority of your family most likely won't attend."
"I could be wrong."
She scoffed. "I guess we'll see."
He reached across the bed, his hand grazing her hip but she scooted away from his touch. "Johanna, you're being ridiculous over nothing."
She closed her eyes; maybe she was being ridiculous but all she wanted was to finish that damn list so it would be off her mind. She didn't really want this party; she was afraid of what would happen with so many people from various segments of her life being in the same room. Especially when Jim's family didn't seem too crazy about her. She felt more secure in her father's affection than she did with any member of Jim's family and that had to be saying something…because she wasn't all that sure that Frank McKenzie loved her. Tolerated her, yes. Maybe even was mildly fond of her when the mood struck…but she wasn't sure it ventured anywhere near love.
"I'm not arguing with you, be stubborn about a damn list," Jim remarked as he turned over, putting his back to her in deference to her silence.
"I didn't say anything," she said softly.
"Yeah; I know; that's what you do when you're pissed off."
"I just wanted to get it done, Jim."
"Then go do it and be happy," he told her. "Or better yet, call the damn party off since you don't want it. You're so damn afraid to have too many people in the same room. You like to keep everything separated; do you realize that? You want your family in one box, your friends in another…now you have a box for my family and you don't want any mingling between any of them. For someone so big on everyone being equal, you sure do like to keep things segregated."
The comments hurt her feelings, tears stinging her eyes even though she knew it was true in some ways. She did like to keep things separated to an extent. She never knew how her father would behave…the things he might say or do. If he might suddenly list her flaws and faults in front of people she cared about…which would embarrass her. Jim's family wasn't crazy about her…it didn't make her feel good to think of her family witnessing the fact that she wasn't going to be welcome in the family she was marrying into…or worse, having Elizabeth Beckett take the opportunity to tell the world what a slut she thought she was, among other things. Her friends had a tendency to be chatty, sometimes repeating things they shouldn't and she didn't want them relaying stories her parents didn't need to hear. Elizabeth had already done that in regard to her mother…she didn't need more of her personal business out there.
Jim picked the remote up from the nightstand and clicked the television off, plunging them into darkness. "I'm not sleeping with the TV on every night," he stated.
"I didn't ask you to," she murmured as a tear fell onto her pillow.
Silence fell and Johanna did her best not to sniffle as a few more tears escaped. She didn't like feeling unsure of herself…and she had felt out of her depths ever since her wedding party plans had somewhat fallen apart. Natalie had rejected her; which was fine; they weren't close and probably never would be. The only thing she was good for in Natalie's mind was being a free babysitter. Colleen still hadn't given her an answer…and it was likely to be a no since she wasn't willing to force Paul into her wedding party. Sharon had given her an 'I'll think about it'…and she still hadn't given her an answer either.
Her mother had been listing the million things that needed to be decided for the wedding; the guest list for the engagement party…and who knew what else would come up with that. It all seemed like so much…the meet the parents dinner, the engagement party that had the potential to be less than pleasant…the wedding planning. She wanted to get married, there was no doubt about that…but she was nervous about this new step; about all the things involved leading up to it. She felt like once the party was held it would be like firing the starting pistol and the race would be on to get everything taken care of well in advance of the wedding.
Her stomach hurt and she wasn't sure if it was cramps or just because of her nerves…probably both, she figured as she forced herself to be still. She'd wait for Jim to fall asleep and then she'd slip out to the living room and curl up on the couch to watch TV. She wished she had gone home…and it dawned on her that come August, there wouldn't be any going home to her own place for some space when she was annoyed.
That probably wasn't something she should think too much about, Johanna thought to herself. She did, however, wish she could just get up and go home…but then Jim would be angry with her for going out so late by herself and he was already mad enough. She sighed softly; maybe this week wasn't a good time to dive into this engagement party stuff…and yet she didn't have a choice.
As Jim stepped into the kitchen the next morning, he studied his fiancée as she stood at the stove cooking breakfast. She was dressed for work, clad in black dress pants and a red top; her matching black blazer hanging on the back of her chair. He had heard her moving around earlier than usual that morning but he had feigned sleep so that he wouldn't disturb her as she got ready for work. He had heard the medicine cabinet opening that morning; the unmistakable sound of a bottle shaking out a tablet before it was replaced and the door closed.
The grease in the skillet popped, causing her to step back for a moment and he watched as she carefully reached for the knob to turn down the heat. He was still learning her ways, Jim couldn't help but think. Like when she took medicine in the morning and wore black pants, it was usually an indication that her period had arrived and that he should tread carefully…especially when she had mentioned that it was due. Warnings should be heeded…he had learned that a few times by now. Just like he should've learned by now that pushing her when she was bothered by something never got either one of them anywhere.
Jim breathed deeply; he should also keep in mind that his fiancée was probably still mad at him about the comments he had made the night before. He did feel that she tried to keep her life separated into specific sections at times but he probably could've said it in a different way. Now he'd probably have to pay for it.
Johanna turned away from the stove to pick up his plate from the table, catching his eye as she did so. "Hey," Jim said cautiously.
"Hey," she replied softly.
"Why did you sleep on the couch last night?" he asked.
"I wanted to watch TV," Johanna answered as she put his breakfast on his plate and then set it back on the table.
Jim frowned; he had turned the TV off in the bedroom to be mean, there was no denying that. She always liked to fall asleep to the TV when she had something on her mind that she needed to be distracted from. "I shouldn't have turned the TV off last night.
he remarked.
Johanna shook her head. "It's okay. I can't expect you to put up with my habits all the time."
"It doesn't bother me that you like to fall asleep to it at times. You don't do it every night despite what I implied."
"I'm sorry about last night," Johanna said as she fixed her own plate. "You were right; I should've gone home if I was going to be moody."
"I didn't mean what I said last night…but when I woke up in the middle of the night and you weren't in bed beside me; I thought maybe you had gone home."
"I thought about it but I knew you'd be mad if I did."
"Yeah; I would've been mad," Jim admitted.
"I am sorry though," she said softly while pouring them each a cup of coffee. "I'm not going to be crazy."
"You're not crazy," he replied as he took his mug of coffee. "I just don't want you to be stressed. We'll finish the list tonight."
"I already finished it," Johanna remarked. "I had a hard time getting to sleep so I just got it done."
"I thought we were supposed to work on the friend part together."
She shrugged as she sat down at the table. "You said I knew who our friends are so I wrote down their names."
"Yeah...but what about what you said last night about friends we don't work with?"
"I wrote down mine," Johanna replied. "If you have any you want to invite, write their names and information down on a piece of paper sometime today and give it to me after work and I'll add them."
Jim chose his words carefully. "Okay…I guess I can do that."
"Only if you want to; but you need to let me know if you have any additions by Tuesday afternoon."
"Alright."
"Don't get mad, but I found your address book in the junk drawer over there last night. I wrote down the addresses for your family and friends because I know if I show up at my mother's with a list of names and no addresses to go with them, she'll have my head."
"Why would I get mad about that?"
"I don't usually root through your drawers."
"I don't care if you look through the drawers…unless it's Christmas and I'm hiding a gift from you," Jim replied. "But that's the only thing I'd be hiding from you…but since we're nowhere near a holiday, no need to worry."
"I just usually ask first."
"Are you going to ask me when we're married?"
Johanna tapped her foot nervously for a moment. "If it's a personal drawer, probably."
"What's a personal drawer?"
"Like a nightstand drawer…I figure people are entitled to one drawer to themselves…don't you think?"
"Yeah, of course," he replied; although in reality he didn't much care; he knew Johanna well enough to know that she didn't make it a habit to go poking through drawers and he didn't go poking through hers either as he didn't feel either one of them had anything to hide but he didn't feel a need to debate the topic.
"Having the addresses written down in my notebook will save time later on too when it comes time for wedding invitations," Johanna remarked.
He nodded as he chewed a bite of his eggs, pondering his words and choosing them carefully. "I'm sorry about last night," he told her, figuring he owed her an apology for more than just turning off the TV. "I should've just helped you like you asked me to instead of letting it become what it did."
"It's okay; I guess really it was something I could do on my own with the exception of your family," she replied. "I guess I just start to feel overwhelmed with everything that will need done."
"Don't worry; you'll get it done," he answered as he scooped up another bite of eggs.
Johanna pressed her lips together; yeah, that sounded like she was mostly on a solo mission when it came to planning. She wouldn't voice that thought aloud though; things were already off balance and she already had a headache. She had to be in court at eleven and she didn't need lingering thoughts of that debate on her mind.
"Are you in court all day?" Jim asked.
"I don't go in until eleven so I probably won't be back at the office until late in the afternoon."
"In that case, I guess an early lunch is out of the question."
"Unfortunately," she replied. "What's on your agenda?"
"I have to go to the Bronx with Zach to that factory I told you about the other day."
"The one that you can't say the name of because of the current restrictions?" Johanna asked.
"Yeah; that's the one. We have to go up there and get some records and interview people. I'll be riding up with him so when we get to work, I'll give you the keys to the car so you can drive to court instead of walking or looking for a cab."
A small genuine smile touched her lips. "Thanks, honey; I appreciate that. I really don't feel like walking in the cold today and I don't want to have to fight for a cab if I can avoid it."
"No problem…if I'm not back at the office by the end of the day, I'll just have Zach drop me off at your place so you don't have to wait around for me at work. I should just get you your own key made…in fact; I will get you your own key made."
Johanna grinned. "My own key to your car? We must be getting serious."
Amusement shone in his eyes. "That's right; you always know a man is getting serious when he gives you a diamond and a key to his car."
"I guess I'm going to have to marry you."
"Yeah," he nodded; "It's set in stone now…you can't have the car without the owner."
"I wouldn't want it any other way."
He stretched his hand across the table to curl his fingers around hers. "Are we okay?" he asked.
"Yeah; why wouldn't we be?"
Jim squeezed her fingers softly. "Because I said stuff last night."
"You wouldn't have if I had just shut up."
"I don't like when you do that," he replied; "Then I don't know what you're thinking."
Johanna smiled a little. "Sometimes it's better that way."
"No, it's not…and I do understand why you have some worry about the party but I honestly don't think we have anything to seriously worry about. You weren't really feeling good last night and I should know by now that pushing you when you're already not feeling your best isn't the best thing to do."
"It's okay," she told him. "I was moody like you said…and fair warning, I probably will be for the next few days."
Jim smiled. "No offense, but I kind of already figured that out on my own."
"None taken…I guess you're learning."
He nodded. "Don't get too excited though, I don't always learn quickly."
"Me neither," Johanna replied with a smile as she squeezed his hand. "But we do the best we can."
Tuesday evening found Johanna at her mother's table as she had promised on Sunday…and as the dishes were cleared away to be washed later, the topic of the engagement party list had yet to come up…and a part of her wished it wouldn't. She had the list with her but her mother still seemed a little miffed at her for bailing on Sunday and she couldn't help but feel like it wasn't a good sign.
"Did you make the list for the engagement party?" Naomi asked after she poured them each a cup of tea.
"Yes; I have it," Johanna said, wondering if her mother had read her mind as she got up from the table and left the room to get her notebook from her purse. She opened it and took out the pages she had copied the list on to for her mother and carried both items back to the kitchen. "Here it is."
Naomi unfolded the pages and scanned the list, sighing as she did so. "Johanna, you can't invite Colin and not invite his children."
"I don't like Colin's kids," Johanna answered; "I don't even like Colin. I'm only inviting him out of respect to Dad. I doubt he'll even come."
"I doubt it too," Frank stated as he ate his slice of pie while scanning his newspaper.
"Whether he comes or not isn't the issue," Naomi remarked. "You can't invite your uncle and not your cousins."
"I don't like them; especially that bitch Cecilia," Johanna replied.
"It doesn't matter, its common courtesy to invite them when you're inviting their parents. Besides, they may not come."
Johanna scoffed. "Colin's kids always show up so they can complain, compare, and criticize. I don't want them there."
"This isn't about liking or disliking, it's about family. You don't have to like everyone who is there," her mother stated.
"I know…that's why I invited Paul."
Frank chuckled as he picked up another bite of his pie. "Paul could serve as the quota for disliked people."
"That's enough of that," Naomi stated as she scanned the list. "I don't see Rita's children on here…you know Rita would be highly offended by that!"
Johanna sighed a little. "I didn't do it on purpose, I just forgot them."
"How do you forget your cousins!?"
"It's easy," Frank remarked; "You close your eyes and block the brats from your memory."
"My sister's kids weren't brats!"
"Well they sure as hell weren't angels," he retorted.
"They're being invited," Naomi stated as she got up from her chair and went to one of the kitchen drawers and took out a pen. She returned to the table with it and jotted down the names of her sisters children in the margin of the list. "I see you didn't miss Bridget or Margaret's children."
"I like their kids," Johanna commented. "I didn't miss Uncle Tony's kids either even though I haven't seen them in a long time."
"And yet you forgot Rita's."
"Who wouldn't?" Frank muttered, making his daughter smile.
"My apologies to Aunt Rita," Johanna stated.
"Johanna; why are you inviting Francesca?" her mother asked.
"Because she's my great aunt and Grandma's favorite sister. I thought it would be nice for Grandma and for Jim's grandmother to have another person there from their age range."
"You can't invite Francesca and not invite Elena."
"So invite her," Johanna replied.
"If you invite both of your great aunts, then you also have to invite some of their children and grandchildren."
"Why?"
"Because it's the polite thing to do; that's why you have to think about what you're doing when you make these lists," Naomi replied; "This is a mess; you're picking and choosing, making the snubs clear."
"Elena and Francesca's kids and grandchildren are scattered all over the country. I don't even know half of them. The only one I really know is Angelina and her kids so invite them so Francesca will be happy; and as for Elena's kids, I only remember knowing is Martina and her kids; so invite them."
"And where am I supposed to put all of these people?" Naomi asked. "Bridget and William are planning to stay over here. I'm sure Margaret and Hugh will want to stay. Your Grandmother always stays over when she comes into the city…if Francesca and Elena are invited; they'll want to stay over too. Where am I supposed to put everyone!?"
Johanna sighed. "Grandma and her sisters can stay at my apartment and I'll go stay with Jim."
"You only have one bedroom!"
"Well Grandma always said they slept three to a bed until they all married and moved out. Elena could take the couch and Grandma and Francesca could have my bed."
"You can't expect Elena to sleep on a couch! She's an old woman!"
"Fine; then Margaret and Hugh can stay at my apartment and Grandma and her sisters can stay here in mine and Colleen's room."
"You can't expect them to sleep two in a bed even if they did do that all of their childhood!"
"Then how about this," Johanna said; "Grandma and her sisters can stay here and everyone else can drive home or get a hotel."
"You can't invite people to a party and then expect them to shell out money for a hotel room!"
"Why the hell not!" Johanna exclaimed. "Every time we've gone to some family event, Dad had to pay for hotel rooms for us!"
"That's true," Frank remarked.
"That's different; you and your siblings were children; the only person who ever had enough room was Bridget."
"Then maybe we should have the party at Bridget's and out of city guests can spend the night there…except me, I'll be going home."
"No; we're just going to have to redo this list," Naomi stated. "It was very nice to want to invite your grandmother's sisters but it's just not happening. Invite them to the wedding."
"Wait a minute; you're crossing off my great aunts who I like…and yet adding cousins that I don't like? What is wrong with this picture?"
"It's different," her mother replied; "You need to invite the generations that are closer to you."
"Grandma's not going to like hearing that."
"I'm not taking your grandmother off the list!"
"I think the list is fine; you're the one who keeps yelling that if I invite this person, I have to invite all these other people."
"Yes, I know," Naomi replied; "That's why were not going to invite some of these people."
"Why don't you just let it the way I have it."
"Because you can't snub people; this list makes it so clear that you're doing that. Your aunts, uncles and cousins come before great aunts and second and third cousins. And who are all of these people here?" Naomi asked, gesturing to the mid section of the list.
"Jim's family; and you're not crossing off a single one so don't even think about it."
"Well of course not; I was just asking. What about this part at the bottom."
"Our friends," Johanna remarked.
"Cathy Harrison? Didn't you go to high school with her?"
"Yes; and I still consider her a friend."
"Saying you still consider her a friend doesn't sound like she's someone you see often so she doesn't need to come," her mother said as she crossed off Cathy's name. "I didn't like her anyway."
"Yes, I know…and there was no reason for you to dislike her."
"I think that's who you got your high school attitude problem from."
Johanna shook her head. "You said I got that from Dad."
"You did say that, Naomi," Frank remarked.
"Paige Bowers?" Naomi stated, ignoring their comments; "You haven't mentioned her since college; why are you inviting her?"
"Because I do still speak to her; I do run into her at times at the courthouse…and she invited me to her engagement party last year and I went."
"Well that doesn't mean you're obligated to return the favor," her mother said as she kept reading. "Kara Jackson? That's another name I haven't heard since you were in college."
"I still occasionally see her at work related events."
"Well then that's more of a casual acquaintance than an actual friend so does she really need to be on the list?"
Johanna smirked at her. "I'm guessing you think not."
"Well you don't need to invite everyone you've ever known."
"Fine," she said, annoyance sparking within her as she snatched the paper and the pen from her mother's hand.
"What are you doing?" Naomi asked.
"Crossing off my friends from school," Johanna said as she slashed through names.
"Don't get huffy; it's just not practical to invite people to this party who are acquaintances."
"Then I should un-invite half of your relatives," she muttered.
"Excuse me," Naomi said, her voice firm; "Just what do you mean by that?"
"Nothing."
"That's what I thought. Now how many of these other people are actual friends and not just acquaintances? We don't want this to be too big; your aunt is very generous and insisting on paying for it but we shouldn't take advantage of it."
"So now you don't want me to invite any of my friends?" Johanna asked.
"I didn't say that…but maybe just invite the most important ones."
"You want me to ditch friends I like for cousins I don't?"
"Johanna," Naomi said with a sigh.
"Some of these relatives might not even come but I'm supposed to ditch my friends!?"
"I'm not saying ditch all of them; just invite your main group of friends, the ones who are going to be a part of the wedding party."
"Jim and I have more friends than that!"
"Johanna; you don't want your engagement party to look more like a work function than a party, do you? We need to redo this."
"I don't know, Mom; I have plenty of fun at my work parties…I rarely have fun at family wedding events."
"Your attitude is not helping matters!" Naomi exclaimed.
"Fine, Mom," she said as she started tearing the paper into pieces.
"What are you doing?!"
"This piece of paper right here is Jim's family," Johanna stated; "These people must be invited."
"I didn't take any names off of his family list."
"And you won't," Johanna said firmly before holding up another small scrap of paper. "Here are the friends I'll have left after the rest of my friends find out they were snubbed from my guest list. I won't budge on this set of names. Now for the rest; invite who the hell you want because apparently that's what you want to do anyway."
"That's not true!" Naomi declared.
"Yes, it is! You want to invite people I don't even like while telling me to drop half of our friends. You tell me to make a list and then you say we have to redo it because you're not happy with who I did or didn't invite. Well I'm not re-doing it, Mom. You want the list a certain way; you do it."
"Johanna, be reasonable."
"She is," Frank stated. "Why should she have to invite people she doesn't want there?"
"With family, there are certain expectations about these types of things," Naomi stated.
"Who gives a damn?!" Frank exclaimed. "She doesn't want Colin's bitchy kids there. She doesn't care if Rita's brats are there. Inviting one older member of the family doesn't mean she has to invite all the rest. You be reasonable!"
Naomi huffed softly. "This is why I didn't let you help me plan our engagement party, Frank. If you had it your way, hardly anyone would've been there."
"Well if we had done it my way; my brother wouldn't have been there saying things that you cried about," he exclaimed. "You're already getting crazy about this party and wedding; well it's not going to fly this time! This is Johanna, not Colleen! It's going to be different…and hopefully it'll have some damn taste unlike Colleen's!"
"This has nothing to do with Colleen!" Naomi stated. "Colleen didn't even have an engagement party!"
Johanna smacked her hands against the table. "Now we know why!"
"This isn't why," her mother remarked. "Your sister wanted every penny to go toward the wedding itself. Now your aunt offered this party for you and we're going to do it right. We're redoing the list."
"No, we're not," Johanna replied; "I just won't have the damn party. I didn't ask for it and it's only going to cause problems. So I'll call Bridget and thank her for the offer and tell her that I've changed my mind."
"No, you won't!" her mother stated. "Drop your attitude and help me redo the list and then we can have the invitations printed up and you can mail them…but we need to get it done tonight. We can't just keep putting it off because you're in a fussy mood today."
"You're the one who wants to drop my friends from the list and yet I'm the fussy one?"
"She has a point," Frank stated.
"Frank," Naomi exclaimed; "Will you stop it!"
"Why?" he asked. "You say I'm not supportive enough of her and then when I defend her, you get mad. Leave the damn list alone; order the invitations and be done!"
"The list has to be redone!"
"No, it doesn't!" Johanna remarked. "It's fine."
"You're making your snubs obvious and that has to be corrected."
"If I can't invite who I want to this party than I won't have it!" Johanna stated firmly.
"Why are you so against this party?" her mother asked. "You're just so ready to call it off over the slightest thing. Why?"
"Because it looks like I can't have it the way I want it and it's going to be a disaster anyway," she exclaimed.
"Why do you say that?!"
"Because it's the truth," she replied. "Jim's family doesn't like me; he doesn't even think they'll show up but if he's wrong and they do, I'm sure Elizabeth will use the opportunity to tell everyone who will listen exactly what she thinks of me. Then there's our family…and you know how we are; we rarely ever assemble without some sort of drama and it's all going to play out in front of our friends and families."
Fury flashed across Naomi's face. "So you're worried we'll embarrass you in front of your precious friends," she spat. "It's nice to know what you think of our family."
"That's not how it is…I just know there's going to be issues between my family and Jim's. I know Colleen's going to be there whining about Paul. Sharon will be there complaining about not being maid of honor. I just see it being a lot of problems right now."
"No, you're just afraid someone might say something you don't like and embarrass you in front of your snotty little lawyer friends," her mother declared. "That's all that matters to you, keeping your reputation spotless! You don't care about how you make your family feel."
"Mom, that's not true!"
"Yes, it is! This party is supposed to be celebrating your engagement but you're too worried about making sure you're not embarrassed by your uncouth family…"
"I never said that!"
"You don't have to!" Naomi yelled before glancing to her husband. "You're right, Frank; you can't be nice to her! Her aunt wants to give her a beautiful party to celebrate this stage of her life and all she can do is worry that someone might say something she doesn't like in front of her friends. It's just purely ungrateful!"
"Mom…" Johanna started to say.
"No! You don't want this party, we won't have it! It's done, you can stop worrying. I'll call Bridget and have it all canceled and you can rest easy, Miss high and mighty."
"Mom; I didn't say what you're implying!"
"You don't have to say the exact words; it comes through loud and clear! I'm not stupid, Johanna! I know we don't get invited to half the things we probably could be when it concerns you."
"What the hell are you talking about!? I don't have any events! The law firm parties are for employees and their dates only; I can't invite you to those!"
"What about that 4th of July picnic I heard Frankie and Valerie joined you at last summer?" her mother retorted. "I hear it was open to family."
"It was but you and Dad had already mentioned having plans so I didn't bring it up. I didn't figure you'd want to come anyway. You just called my friends 'snotty little lawyers' so I'm guessing they're not people you care to be around."
"Don't give me that! You don't invite anyone anywhere because you're so afraid you can't control what people might say or do; well guess what, there have been plenty of times where your mouth embarrassed me!" Naomi yelled. "You're not perfect either! You were a goddamn disgrace at your sister's rehearsal dinner. I was never so ashamed of you as I was that night; and then you sit there and act like you're afraid to be in public with us because of what we might say or do!? How dare you!"
"I didn't say that," she cried, her throat tightening as tears began to slide down her cheeks.
"Yes, you did! And if that's how you feel, that's fine. There won't be any party; we don't need to meet Jim's parents so call that off too…and since we wouldn't want to embarrass you, plan your own damn wedding," Naomi said tartly.
"Mom," Johanna said as she tried to hold herself together.
"No! Let your friends help you get married since they're opinions are of such high importance to you! I hope one day you have a daughter just like you or worse! Now get out of my house and don't come back until you've remembered that I taught you to have respect and manners!"
"Mom…"
"Go!" Naomi yelled, pointing to the doorway. "I am done, Johanna. Maybe some of the things people say about you are true; maybe you do think you're better than everyone."
"That's not true!" she cried.
"I told you to go," her mother stated. "I'm done looking at your face tonight; so go."
Johanna couldn't hold back the sob as she gathered up her scraps of paper and notebook before getting up from the table. She hurried from the room and into the entry way, grabbing her purse and coat and moving to the door. She opened it and stepped outside, allowing it to slam shut behind her. She stood on the porch long enough to shove her notebook into her bag and to pull on her coat. She then hurried down the steps and walked quickly away from her parents house.
She just couldn't do anything right, Johanna thought to herself as she pulled her coat tightly around her, the cold air of January slapping against her tearstained cheeks as more tears filled her eyes. She knew her worries were probably irrational but past events made her wary…knowing how her future mother-in-law felt about her and how she loved to voice her opinion made her even more wary. Why couldn't have her mother just soothed her worries like she usually did? Why couldn't she just let her have the guest list she wanted…and couldn't she see that if she was truly embarrassed of her family, she wouldn't invite any friends. She wouldn't fight to keep them on the list…but that fact had been overlooked and as she made her way down the street, she couldn't help thinking that maybe calling it off was a good idea. They couldn't even get through making the guest list without issues so why the hell have the party at all?
Naomi paced the length of the kitchen, agitation in every step as she awaited her husband's response to what had happened. He usually wasn't so closed mouth about such things. It unnerved her. She turned to speak to him and saw him rising from his chair. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to get the car and see if I can catch up to her at the diner and drive her home," Frank remarked. "It's late; she shouldn't be walking home this time of night."
"Aren't you going to say anything!" Naomi demanded.
Frank grabbed his keys from the counter, sighing a little as he did so. "I love you, Naomi; but sometimes you don't have the sense God gave a goose."
"What is that supposed to mean!"
"It means that she's never worried about you meeting people she's friends with…you met Jim long before I did. You know who some of her friends are…she goes places with you, does things with you. It's not you she's worried about. It's me…she worries about what I say or do because we don't get along; and I'm not offended that she worries about it. I've given her reason to be wary at times. She's also not wrong about drama springing up when this family gathers for an event…it does. She's worried about her future mother-in-law shaming her in front of everyone she knows, not just her friends but her family too. She's worried that her 'snotty lawyer friends' as you called them, might hear or see something that they repeat in the presence of someone who will use it against her in a professional setting. Most of all, she's scared, Naomi. She just got engaged a few weeks ago; she's starting to get nervous about it, that's why she doesn't want to be so serious about the planning; she's trying to go slow."
"Well you can't go slow when you plan to get married in eight months," Naomi remarked.
"You don't need to go at warp speed either. She got engaged in December; this is January…so far since she's been engaged she's done had to bring him around to meet me, they spent Christmas here, then there's this party thrown at her, you barking orders about guest lists and wedding planning and dress shopping. The ring hasn't even had time to leave a dent on her finger and you got a list of a million things she needs to do. Maybe you're overwhelming her…she does have other things to do, Naomi. She does have a job…although you make it clear at times that you don't care for it; although why, I don't know."
"Because I worry about it consuming her!" she exclaimed. "It's a job she could get lost in. I don't want her missing out on the best parts of life because she's too busy preparing her next courtroom battle. I worry that it's dangerous; that someone somewhere will get angry if she loses their case and they'll hurt her! Do you ever think about that!? The law isn't a perfectly safe job, Frank!"
"No job is perfectly safe, Naomi! You think because I'm president of the company that I'm perfectly safe? I still go out to job sites and survey work being done, to keep people on their toes because they'll be wondering if I'm going to show up…I could be standing at a job site and a beam fall and bash my head in or crack me across my back. I could step out in front of a piece of equipment and be run down. Colleen could fall down one of those fancy staircases when she's in someone's house decorating and break her neck. You could chop a finger off here in the kitchen. No one is perfectly safe."
"Thank you for those lovely thoughts, Frank!"
"Well it's the truth. Being a lawyer might not be a job you'd want, but it's the job our daughter wanted. She's good at it; I know that for a fact because I got to see her do it. She worked her ass off for that law degree; that wasn't something easily obtained, but she did it and graduated with honors. She works at a prestigious firm, making a damn good living. She's in no more danger than anyone else in the world so get off it. I also don't see where her job consumes her. I mean let's think about it; she's engaged so it didn't keep her from finding a man. She takes off on vacations, goes shopping with her sister-in-law, has lunch with her sister, shows up here every time you want, babysits her nephew…so where is she consumed? That's in your head because you think it's a job better left to men."
"Sometimes I do feel that way," Naomi admitted. "Men don't face the dangers that a woman does. I'm not saying she isn't as capable as a man; I know she is. I just wish she had chosen something else."
"If she had chosen something else, she wouldn't have met her fiancé."
"You don't know that. If fate is determined for two people to be together, they'll meet no matter what."
"Naomi; Johanna is a lawyer because it's what she wanted to be. You need to get over it. What would you rather she be? An underpaid secretary? A waitress? What do you want her to be besides a carbon copy of you?"
"She'll never be a carbon copy of me; she's got a nice healthy dose of you in her!" she exclaimed. "I wanted her to be a teacher. She would've been a wonderful teacher to small children. I tried to encourage her to pursue that…but you stayed set on the law."
"Johanna wanted to pursue the law! I didn't bring it up. She came to me and asked me if I thought she could do it and I told her yes because I knew she could…because I believed in her…and she did it. I'm proud to say that my daughter has a law degree and you should be too!"
"I am proud of her! I just don't want her becoming a snob. I don't want her to become one of those uptight business people. I don't want her to be consumed in work."
"She's not a snob! She's not consumed by her job! She's not uptight unless you make her that way by driving her crazy! That's what the problem is here; she doesn't want to be driven crazy over a stupid party!" Frank yelled. "You're the one who gets up in arms about this wedding planning stuff. It's not your party! It's hers and she should invite who she wants and if someone gets offended that they didn't get invited, too bad! We've been snubbed plenty of times and I don't lose a wink of sleep over it. I think the problem here tonight was you, not her. She's starting to get nervous about getting married and I don't even think she realizes it and you're trying to crack the whip…and you know what, I think part of your problem is that you're not ready to let go of your baby. She's the last one we have to get married off…and mommy's nest will truly be empty then. Things are changing and you're going to handle it worse than she is. Now I'm going to go see if I can catch her and drive her home because if I don't, she'll walk and I don't want my daughter walking the streets at this time of evening," he stated before storming away.
Naomi flinched as the sound of the door slamming echoed through the house. Why didn't anyone understand that there was etiquette to be followed? Why didn't anyone understand that she just liked for things to be perfect for her children…and why didn't anyone understand that she hated for it to be pointed out that sometimes their family was less than perfect when it came to important moments. She sighed deeply; her feelings still stung at the thought that her daughter was embarrassed by her family. Maybe she hadn't really meant it that way, but it had seemed like it…like she was just so worried about what people thought of her. Johanna knew her truth and that should be the only thing that mattered. Why couldn't she get her to learn that?
And just what did Frank mean about her nest being truly empty once Johanna was married? She wasn't losing her…despite what it felt like sometimes. Her children always came home to her, especially Johanna…and she had a grandchild; surely Frankie would give her more grandchildren and Colleen would hopefully get a family started soon and she wanted Johanna to bless her with grandchildren too. Her nest was not empty…it was just expanding…and wanting things to be perfect for the last wedding she'd plan wasn't a problem…except for the fact that Johanna was just as stubborn and strong willed as Frank. Naomi sighed deeply; the next eight months weren't going to be anywhere near easy.