A/N: Yes, I had already posted Chapter 72…but after two versions of Chapter 73 fell flat with little views and no reviews, I knew something was wrong…and some needling finally got some readers to confess that they haven't liked the engagement party plotline. The party has become a thorn in my side; so the options were to either wipe out the party or write a wedding chapter and be done with the story or time jump and continue story. I chose to get rid of this thorn…because I'm not ready to be finished with this story, I have so much planned, so much still to do beyond the point of the wedding. So I've re-written this chapter; if you logged in to review it last time, the site won't allow you to review again, so you can leave a guest review or send me a private message or a tweet, I'll unlock my Twitter so I can reply to tweets. Speaking of reviews; guys, you have to let me know you're still out there…you have to let every writer know you're there or we feel like there's no reason to continue. It takes us way longer to write a chapter than it does to leave a review. You may think reviewing doesn't mean anything but it does, it tells me you're still reading. Let writers know you're still reading, let them know how you think the story is going, don't worry if English isn't your first language, if you have to read now and review tomorrow because you're busy, then do that. I know readers have lives and responsibilities…so do us writers; we give our spare time to this hobby we love; so give us a few seconds of a review to let us know you're still out there. I hope that doesn't make me sound terrible but writers need feedback just like you all like updates and something to read. So, in closing, please let me know how you like the re-write of this chapter; if you hadn't reviewed the original chapter, you'll be fine logged in; if you were logged in, review as a guest or send a pm or tweet. Thanks for your patience and understanding.
Chapter 72 – It's My Party –Part 2- New Version
Johanna was curled up on her couch later that night, wishing the evening's events would quit playing on a loop in her brain. She didn't know how things had gotten out of control…didn't understand why her mother had jumped to such drastic conclusions before throwing her out of the house. Usually it was her father throwing her out and thinking the worst of her. Instead he had tracked her down and had driven her home…and he hadn't lectured or called her names. The role reversal was unsettling to say the least…in fact he had been downright supportive, telling her that her mother was being crazy and unreasonable.
She had to agree; her mother had been acting crazy and unreasonable…and hearing things she didn't say. She wasn't embarrassed of her family. She wasn't trying to keep her family from knowing her friends. She didn't segregate her life…it was just that her mother never seemed interested in her work so she stopped trying to share it with her. Her mother also didn't seem overly interested in who her friends were…her main concern for the last few years was if she had met any men that would make a nice husband. She had found one that she knew would be a wonderful husband and her mother still wasn't happy with her. There was just no pleasing that woman sometimes.
The sound of the lock in the door tumbling pulled her from her thoughts and she flinched as the door open and Jim stepped inside. "Did I scare you?" Jim asked.
"A little," Johanna replied.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he replied as he closed the door and sat down his briefcase so he could shrug out of his coat.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"I never heard from you after dropping you at your mother's," he told her while he went to hang his coat in the closet. "I didn't know if you had gotten back alright or if you had just gotten caught up in some kind of planning."
"I forgot to call when I got home, I'm sorry. You could've called though."
"Yeah, I could have," he said, moving toward the sofa; "But then I wouldn't see you until tomorrow…and why wait when I could see you tonight?"
She smiled and accepted his kiss as he settled down on the sofa with her. "I'm glad you're here," she murmured.
He studied her face for a moment, sensing that something wasn't right. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
"My mother and I had a fight."
"About what?"
"About the party and the guest list."
"What about it?"
Johanna explained the fight she and her mother had; telling him how she wanted to cross off her friends in favor of relatives she disliked. She told him how out of control things had gotten and finally she told him the biggest part of all. "So…the party is off," she said, wrapping up the tale.
Jim was quiet for a long moment. "How do you feel about that?" he asked.
She shrugged a little. "How do you feel about it?"
"I asked you first."
"I know…but I want to know how you feel. I don't want to influence your feelings."
"What if I promise to tell you the truth after you tell me?" Jim said.
"But how do I know it's really the truth if it ends up mirroring how I feel?" she asked.
Jim thought for a moment. "Okay, we each write a word or two on a piece of paper that sums up our feelings; we fold them up, put them on the coffee table and then after we tell each other, we can look at the papers to see if the stories match what we wrote."
Johanna nodded. "I can live with that," she said as she grabbed the pen and tablet she kept by the phone. She kept the tablet shielded from his view as she wrote her answer and then folded the paper over before tearing it from the tablet. She handed the pen and paper to Jim and made herself busy making sure her paper was folded neatly and then laid it on the coffee table in front of him. Jim folded his piece of paper and laid it in front of her on the table and then gave her back the notepad and pen.
"Okay," Jim said; "How do you feel about the party being called off?"
She took a breath and met his eye. "Relieved."
"Relieved?" he repeated. "Why?"
"I thought now that I told you mine, you'd tell me yours," she remarked.
"I will…I just want to know why."
"Because…it just feels like walking into a hornets nest…like it's going to be nothing but trouble and tonight felt like confirmation of that to me. I mean I can't even get through the guest list for it without drama…that can't bode well for the actual event itself."
Jim nodded. "I get that."
"So how do you feel about it being cancelled?" she asked.
He met her eye. "I think it might be for the best."
She eyed him with a slight hint of suspicion. "Shall we look at the papers to confirm this?"
Jim gave a quiet laugh. "Yes, let's look at them," he said picking up the paper she had written on and unfolding it. "Relieved" was written on her piece of paper.
Johanna opened Jim's sheet of paper. "For the best" he had written. She smiled a little, meeting his gaze once more. "You really think it's for the best?"
"Yeah," he admitted with a nod.
"Why? You seemed like you really liked the idea…so why the change?" she asked.
"Because as nice it seemed; it seems to be a lot of pressure on you since it's being thrown together so quickly…your mother wants you to plan this, to do wedding planning and I can already see the stress creeping into you over it and I don't want that. The wedding has to be planned…but we don't need this party…and like you, I think it could be more trouble than it's worth in the end."
"It's already more trouble than it's worth," she remarked. "I'm being accused of being embarrassed of my family…my friends are being labeled as snotty and she doesn't even know them. It's like suddenly there's this huge deal about how I live my life…even we started to argue about it the other night."
"I know…I'm sorry about that," he replied. "That's when I really started to think about what having this party meant and could cause. I don't want some party becoming a bone of contention between us. I didn't mean the things I said that night about you keeping your life segregated. You don't do anything that the majority of us don't do...it's not like I go out of my way to bring my friends around my family…and I get why you worry about our families being in public together. My mother is unpredictable…and I can't promise that she wouldn't do or say something that would embarrass you…or us…and I don't want that. We're supposed to be happy right now; we just got engaged…and this party isn't going to make us happy, it's going to drive us crazy. I don't think you wanted it from the moment it was brought up."
"I didn't really want it," she admitted; "But you seemed to want it and I didn't want to hurt you or Bridget."
"I think I wanted it for the wrong reasons," Jim confessed.
"Is that reason your mom?" Johanna asked as she glanced at him.
He nodded. "Part of it…I think part of me wanted it to show her that I do what I want…to show her that your family has accepted me…so maybe she'd realize how wrong it is of her not to accept you."
Johanna sighed deeply. "She may never accept me, honey," she said gently. "It's just something we're going to have to make our peace with…and I know that's harder for you than me…but it's just the way it is. I can't lie and say I didn't worry about what she would do at this party because I did…how can I not after what she did at lunch with my mother that day? She told her highly personal things about us…and all I could think about was her going around the room telling those stories to everyone who was willing to listen…or worse."
"I know…I'm sorry I got defensive about it the other night. It's hard where she's concerned…I do understand your worries when it comes to her; but I guess a part of me always wants to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she won't do what people think…even when I have my own doubts about it."
"It's because you love her," she replied; "We always want to give our mothers the benefit of the doubt…even when we know deep down we're probably going to be disappointed."
"I guess that's true," Jim stated. "I don't know what's worse sometimes…when she pulls one of her stunts or the disappointment I have to feel when she does."
"I know it hurts you," she murmured. "My mother hurt me tonight too…in ways I never expected from her. I expect it from my father…but not her. She labeled our friends…which to me is labeling us because her label is based on how she feels about lawyers; that they're stuck up and self involved. It hurts me…it disappointed me."
"I'm sorry that happened, sweetheart. I don't know why she feels that way about people in our profession…but she should know you well enough to know that you're not those things. Our friends aren't those things…well…Sharon and Phil might slide in that direction but the rest of them are fine."
She laughed softly. "Yeah, they do slide that way…Sharon wasn't like that until she got with Phil."
Jim gave a nod. "I like Phil but he does have a lot of stuck up qualities that he seems to be passing on to Sharon."
Johanna raked her fingers through her hair. "A part of me doesn't care that this party is off because I'd rather have no party than have to have relatives there that I don't like…like my uncle's daughter Cecilia. I can't stand her and my mother was insisting she had to be invited."
"Isn't she the one that thought you should turn over your inheritance from your grandfather to your uncle?"
"That's the one."
Jim frowned. "Your mother must be crazy to want to invite her! We're not inviting her to the wedding either."
"I can guarantee you that," she replied without missing a beat. "My mother can get mad now and get over it because it's not happening."
His hand found hers, their fingers entwining. "Another part of my wrong reason to want the party was to rub it in my brother's face."
"Michael?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Why?"
He shrugged. "I don't know…it's just that sometimes he acts like he's so much better and he's got everything better…and…I don't know; I guess I just want to show him sometimes that I think what I have is better than what he's got…especially after the way he acted when I asked them to be a part of the wedding. It sounds stupid, doesn't it?"
"No," she said softly. "I understand that feeling all too well…I've got a sister who thinks she's always got the best and that she should always have her way and that everything is about her."
Jim nodded. "Yeah; I guess you do understand."
"It's hard to stand out sometimes," Johanna remarked; "I've spent my whole life feeling like that when it comes to my siblings."
"Yeah…me too in some ways."
"If it makes you feel any better; I want my wedding to be so much better than Colleen's…not just because we have taste and we deserve a beautiful wedding…but also so one day when we're fighting, I can remind her that my wedding was better."
He laughed quietly. "That does make me feel a little better."
Johanna smiled. "Does it make us terrible people?"
"No, sweetheart; I think it just means we're both the middle child in our families."
"Then we won't worry about our moments of pettiness when we want to show up our siblings."
"Sounds good to me," he replied; falling quiet for a moment until he broached his next question. "Do you think this will be the end of the party thing?"
She shook her head. "No; I'm sure I'll be hearing from Bridget before long…and when Mom is over her fit, she'll call."
"Do you think they'll try to talk you back into the party?"
"Probably."
"Are you going to let them do that?"
Johanna glanced at him. "Only if you'd want me to…if you want the party."
Jim gave a small shake of his head. "No…I told you, I only wanted it for the wrong reasons and I didn't start realizing that until it was turning into arguments between us. It's for the best to be done with it; we don't need a party."
"No, we don't," she agreed. "We celebrated our engagement together; we had a wonderful dinner at Tavern on the Green and that's all I needed."
"Then you better stick to your guns…if you don't, you'll be right back in the thick of it."
"There's no going back," Johanna replied. "I'm done with it. The only thing that bothers me is that it might hurt Bridget's feelings."
"I'm sure she'll understand when you explain it to her."
"I hope so."
"She will," Jim promised as he drew her into his arms. "It's for the best this way. You have enough things to drive you crazy; you don't need this added to it."
"I know," she murmured.
"Just try to relax now. You'll work things out with your mother when she cools off. For now, put it from your mind."
That was easier said than done, Johanna thought to herself as she sank into his embrace but she'd do her best.
The next morning, Johanna was still stewing a little over her mother's behavior as she and Jim scrambled around to get ready for work. They had overslept a little and had to make breakfast a light affair of toast and orange juice just so they'd be able to get out the door on time. She sighed as she hurriedly checked her briefcase to make sure she had everything; she enjoyed the little bit of extra sleep but she hated to be rushed. The phone rang as she was about to call out to Jim that they needed to get a move on. She snatched it up; hoping whatever it was wouldn't take long. "Hello?"
"Johanna," her aunt Bridget answered.
A deep sigh escaped her. "Bridget, I'm sorry but I don't have time to talk right now, I'm going to be late for work."
"I'll just keep you for a moment," her aunt stated. "I'd like to see you for lunch today; when do you think you can get away?"
Johanna pulled her planner out of her briefcase and scanned the day's schedule. "Twelve-thirty,' she said; "I'm in court this morning, I really need to go."
"Meet me at the Waldorf dining room at twelve-thirty, dear; you can bring Jim if you'd like."
"Alright, I'll be there. I'm not trying to get rid of you but I have to go."
"I know, sweet pea; go ahead; I'll see you later."
"Okay, bye," she said before hanging up the phone and pulling on her coat. She crammed her planner back into her briefcase and gathered up her purse and keys. "Jim," she called out.
"I'm here," he replied as he opened the closet door and grabbed his coat. "Who called?"
"Bridget," Johanna answered as she headed for the door to wait for him.
"Already?" he asked, grabbing his briefcase and pushing the closet door closed. He grabbed his keys from the stand as Johanna opened the door.
"Yeah, she's summonsed me to lunch," she replied as they stepped into the hallway so she could lock her door. "She said you can come too. I'm supposed to meet her at 12:30."
"I can't make it at 12:30, sweetheart; I'll be taking depositions all day. I'm going to give you the keys to the car when we get to work so you can drive to court and then you'll have it to get to lunch."
"Are you sure you won't need it?"
"I'm sure," he said as they stepped onto the elevator. "I'm going to be in the office all day so you take the car."
"Alright, I appreciate it."
"It's not a problem," Jim replied.
"Do you think we're going to make it on time?"
He glanced at his watch. "We should…if not; well, it's not the first time we've been late."
"That's true," she laughed as the elevator came to a stop; "At least we can give an honest excuse this time if asked about being late."
He grinned at her. "Hey, if someone had asked last time, I would've been honest and said I was in the shower."
"I doubt that at all…I'd be the one who would have to come up with a lie so they wouldn't know you were in the shower with me."
"No one asked so we didn't have to worry about it," he replied as they exited the building and made their way to the car, quickly getting inside to get out of the cold.
"God I hate winter," Johanna said with a shiver.
Jim started the car. "We probably won't have much heat since I don't have time to let the car warm up."
"It's okay; the statement stands regardless."
"Think warm thoughts," he told her. "How do you think the lunch with Bridget is going to go?"
"God only knows; I guess Mom didn't waste any time calling her and Bridget must not have wasted any time in coming to town."
"They're circling the wagons."
She gave him an amused smirk. "What's the best way to get out of the way of those circled wagons?"
"I suggest crawling under one and when you get out on the other side, run like hell."
Johanna laughed softly. "It's a shame you have depositions to take; I might need your expertise on the trail."
Jim gave her leg a quick pat. "If I didn't have them I'd go with you so it's not all on you…but you have my permission to tell her that we are in total agreement that we no longer want this party and the trouble it brings with it."
"Okay, I'll do that."
"Don't fall for any guilt tactics…stand your ground."
"I promise," Johanna replied. "I'm not getting talked back into it."
"Then don't worry about it; it'll be fine."
"I just have to get through court and then get through lunch."
"You're going to do fine; you worked really hard on this case and you have it all sewn up neat and pretty."
"I hope so…I felt like it went well yesterday and Monday."
"Then it's going to go well today too."
"You always sound so sure of that," Johanna remarked.
"I am…I believe in you," he told her.
"I believe in you too."
"I know you do," Jim replied. "Don't worry; by tonight, things will be looking up, sweetheart."
"I really hope you're right," she stated; thinking to herself that if she got her case wrapped up and this party off her back, she would feel a lot better.
Bridget McKenzie Langston sat down her water glass and smiled as she caught sight of her niece making her way across the hotel dining room for their lunch date that afternoon. "I'm glad you could make it, sweet pea," she stated as she rose from her chair to embrace Johanna.
"It's good to see you too," Johanna told her as she returned her aunt's hug.
"Didn't Jim want to join us?" she asked as her niece took off her coat.
"Jim's tied up at the office taking depositions today," Johanna replied while taking her seat. "But since I know what this meeting is about, I can tell you that Jim and I have discussed the party and we are in complete agreement about what to do about it."
I'm afraid I put you in an awkward situation with this party, sweet pea."
Johanna shook her head. "It's not you."
"I'm the one who volunteered to give you a party; that means I get some blame."
"I take it since you know about what's going on that Mom called you rather quickly last night."
Bridget smiled. "Yes, Naomi called after Frank got done yelling at her and left to find you…did he find you, dear?"
"He found me," Johanna confirmed. Her father had found her two blocks away and wouldn't take no for an answer when she assured him that she'd be fine walking home.
"He didn't yell at you too, did he?"
"No…he said Mom was nuts and I should consider eloping as a backup plan."
"Naomi would kill you."
Johanna shrugged. "She's the one who went off the rails last night. By the time I was done with her, eloping sounded like a very good idea."
"How exactly did this all get started? Your mother was a bit flustered on the phone and rambling as she usually does when she's tense or worried."
Johanna caught sight of the waiter heading their way and held off on the story until he had taken their orders and hurried away. She breathed deeply, brushing back a lock of her hair as she did so and then began. "It was the guest list," she stated. "Mom wanted me to cross off the majority of our friends and invite relatives I don't even like…she wanted to redo the whole list, even dropping some relatives that I wanted in favor of others. It was turning into this big war and I said if I couldn't invite who I wanted, I wouldn't have a party at all."
"It's your party; you should invite who you want," Bridget stated.
"Mom doesn't see it that way and I made the comment that it was just going to cause trouble and would probably be a disaster anyway…which she took as me saying that I'm embarrassed by my family…and then things really went to hell and the party was cancelled and she told me to plan my wedding myself and threw me out."
Her aunt sighed. "What's gotten into your mother this week?"
"I don't know; she gets so insane about planning wedding related things. I didn't expect it to get as bad as it did…she surprised me; but it is what it is."
"What's this nonsense she has going on about you being embarrassed by your family?"
"Because I was saying it's going to be trouble…Jim's family isn't too crazy about me, especially his mother. She hates me and tells everyone who will listen that she hates me, not to mention crashing a lunch to tell my mother things about me that she didn't need to know…"
Bridget's brow rose. "What kind of things?"
Johanna cringed a little. "Like how she let herself into Jim's apartment and found me in his bedroom wearing a towel…and it was very obvious how we had spent the night before."
"Oh my," her aunt said; "That's…well, that's just wrong, not just telling your business but letting herself into her son's home without permission."
"Yeah…I lock doors now when I'm getting dressed, so lesson learned."
"What else did she share with Naomi?"
Johanna took a sip of water, her gaze darting away. "She uh…she found out that we had a pregnancy scare in October…and the day she told Mom about that is the day Mom was nosy and found my birth control pills."
"Oh my God," Bridget stated. "What the hell have you been doing, girl?"
She shrugged. "Apparently I've been having sex."
Bridget laughed. "I hope it's good to be worth all of that."
She grinned. "It's fantastic."
Her aunt shook her head at her, a smile tugging on her lips. "You better make sure you take those pills so you don't end up needing elastic in your wedding dress."
"I take it every morning…I forgot once or twice but we try to be extra careful now."
"Good to know, but getting back to the family embarrassment…"
"Well I said that Elizabeth would probably tell everyone at the party what she thinks of me, which is a gold digging slut among other things…and that Colleen will be there whining because we didn't ask Paul to be in the wedding party, and Sharon's going to whine about not being maid of honor…and how there's always drama when our family gathers together for events."
"That's the truth," Bridget said; "Our family does get right to it at times…not a damn one of us can mind our manners for too long especially if someone provokes us."
"I know; we all have that trait…and Mom got all offended because I said my friends would be there to witness it all and that's how we got on the train of embarrassment. She also made it clear that she doesn't like my friends, and she means my friends from school and my friends from work…who she called snotty lawyer friends…so I'm pretty sure she classifies me as a snotty lawyer too. She never was thrilled with me going to law school."
"It might not have been her first choice for you but I'm sure she's proud…I know your daddy is. He's always been extremely proud of your law degree…you'd think he earned it himself."
"I'm glad I've done one thing in life to make him happy."
"He's proud of more than just that; but go on about your mother's meltdown."
Lunch arrived while Johanna was explaining that Naomi accused her of thinking she was better than everyone and that she was only worried about her reputation and what her friends might think.
"Is that true?" Bridget asked.
"No," Johanna replied. "I can't lie and say it wouldn't be embarrassing if the family had a fight at my engagement party…because it would be regardless of who is there. I'll be more embarrassed if Jim's mother was to be there and she'd decide to tell everyone, family and friends alike, my personal business and her opinions about me. I'm not ashamed of my family…and I don't know why she has the idea in her head that I have all of these events that I don't invite her to…because I don't have work related events to invite her to."
Bridget nodded as she picked up a bite of her lunch with her fork. "Why would a lawyer have family events at work? That doesn't even make sense; who put that bee in her bonnet?"
"I don't know; there was only one time, a fourth of July picnic that was open to family…they already had plans so I didn't mention it, and yes, I didn't want Dad there because he hadn't met Jim yet and I didn't feel that was the place to do it. Frankie and Valerie were at the park and came across us so they joined us. That was only function I've had since graduation that was open to family…so all I can assume is that that one thing has made me a marked woman somehow."
"Are you sure there's only been one?"
Johanna sighed in exasperation. "Yes! God, why does everyone think I'm a liar? And spare me the world's favorite 'well you're a lawyer' because I'm really sick of hearing that from people."
"I've never said that," Bridget remarked; "And I don't think you're a liar…a little temperamental, yes; a liar, no. I only asked a simple question."
"One that I already answered," she replied; "Asking it again implies that you're not sure you're satisfied with my first answer."
Bridget sighed. "Are you spoiling for a fight, because you know that you never get one out of me."
"No," she sighed. "I'm just frustrated with all of this."
"Yes, I know…and on the topic of being embarrassed by family; maybe you are a little embarrassed by your family."
"No, I'm not!"
"I think maybe you are a little," Bridget said gently. "This family does have a tendency to squabble in public…and God knows your father never censors himself so I can see why you would be afraid to have so many family members in the same room with your friends."
"I'm not ashamed of my family."
"You did say it would be embarrassing if a fight broke out."
"I also said it would be embarrassing if Elizabeth Beckett went around the room sharing her opinions about me to family and friends…she's the real issue."
"So you are worried about being embarrassed by both families," Bridget remarked. "You can try all you want to make it sound like you aren't, but sweet pea, you are worried about what your friends will think of the people they're going to meet and what they might hear or see."
"It's not like that," she stated through gritted teeth.
"Then what is it?"
Johanna felt aggravation flooding her veins. "All I said was that this family usually has drama when it gets together; yes a fight in public would be embarrassing…but I didn't mean I'd be embarrassed to say that the people involved were my family."
"But it would happen in front of your friends…and your friends seem to be a bone of contention with your mother."
"I don't know why; she doesn't even know all my friends."
"Well…maybe that's the problem; you never introduce her to your friends."
"Bridget; I didn't know that in my mid-twenties, I still needed to take my friends home to mommy so I could get her approval to go hang out with them at the malt shop like I'm fourteen. This is stupid."
"I'm just wondering if there aren't valid points on both sides," her aunt replied. "You do tend to keep things neatly ordered."
"What's so wrong with keeping my life in order?" she asked. "Where is it written that every family member must know every friend and colleague I have? Where is it written that I can't be worried about my family meeting a family that already dislikes me that I'm marrying into? Where is it written that I don't get to have any boundary lines? Do any of you ever think that maybe I keep my work life away for a reason? Like maybe when I'm with my family, I don't want to talk or introduce people because for the last few years I've been accused of letting my work take over my life? Maybe I've learned to keep my life separated in some respects because I've found it's the only way to stay sane and keep people off my back."
"Johanna," Bridget began to say.
"No; I'm not done," she retorted. "If I'm so ashamed, and so worried about my friends seeing or hearing something at this party; why would I invite any of them? Why did I give my mother a list that included at least two people I've known since high school; girls I was friends with in law school, my work friends…why would I invite them all if I was so worried? I wasn't the one crossing their names off, Mom was…she was the one telling me not to invite most of them, so why doesn't someone go cross examine her?"
Bridget breathed deeply; it was a valid point, why write a list of friends to be invited if you were so sure you were going to be embarrassed? "Would it make you feel better if I went and cross examined her after lunch?"
"No; it wouldn't do any good," Johanna replied; "You both think I'm ashamed of my family and don't want them near the public. It's not true but no one wants to listen and I'm already tired of explaining it. If you go over there, you can tell her that I will plan my wedding on my own if that's the way she wants it to be."
Bridget shook her head. "No; I'm not telling her that…and I doubt she meant it when she told you to plan it yourself. You just need to simmer down a little, sweet pea."
"I don't want to simmer down," she said tartly; "I get sick of this crap; every time I don't jump when someone tells me to, I'm instantly branded as the problem; I'm instantly the liar, the person who thinks she better, the snob, the slut, the bitch…whatever else there is. I'm supposed to understand everyone but no one has to understand me. I'm supposed to listen to everyone, do what they want; but no one has to do that for me. It's always a big double standard and I'm tired of being the one who gets walked on. All my life all I've heard is 'you have to understand, Johanna'…well Johanna's tired of understanding."
"I should've given you another day or so to cool down," her aunt remarked; "You're in no mood to be entirely rational…when you're angry, you're like your father."
"Oh, I'm so wounded," Johanna said sarcastically.
Bridget chuckled lightly. "I have to admit, I didn't think you'd take it as a compliment."
"Yeah, well…maybe that's why Dad doesn't spend his life getting walked on and treated the way I do. Everything that gets dished out to him he gives right back."
"That doesn't mean its right."
"Doesn't mean it's wrong either."
"Johanna," her aunt said gently; "Your mother may have been a little…gung ho, about things…but maybe there are valid points and maybe you need to show her that what she thinks isn't true."
"And how am I supposed to do that, Bridget?" she asked; "Am I supposed to ask my boss to throw a family friendly party just so I can invite my mother to a work event? Am I supposed to load up my friends, take them over to the house so she can assess them? I mean what is it that you two think I should do? I don't talk about work with her because she hates my job and I get tired of hearing her claim that it consumes me and I'm missing out on something, because I'm not and I don't know how else to prove to her that it isn't. I met a man, I'm engaged. I have friends. I go on vacations, I go to parties, I spend time with my family. What else am I supposed to do?"
"I don't know, dear; but maybe you need to think of something."
She shook her head. "Yeah; it's always me."
"Johanna," she sighed.
"Do you know all of your kids friends, Bridget?"
The older woman shook her head. "Probably not."
"Does that mean your kids are embarrassed by you?"
"No," she said slowly.
"Then why would it be different for me?"
Bridget nodded. "Alright, dear; point taken. I don't know what's gotten into Naomi; maybe it's more about herself than you."
"Whatever it is, I hope she gets over it soon."
"So do I," her aunt remarked; "But listen; why don't you re-write the guest list and have on it everyone you want and just give it to me, I'll be here for a few days and I can take care of having the invitations ordered."
Johanna shook her head, her teeth worrying her bottom lip for a moment. "Bridget, I love you…"
"I know, dear; I love you too."
"Bridget…I love you and I don't want to hurt your feelings…but I'd just rather the party remained cancelled. Jim and I truly appreciate you offering to give us a party…but we think it's for the best that it remains cancelled. We talked about it last night and…well…he admitted that he wanted it for the wrong reasons and I admitted that when Mom called it off I was relieved."
Bridget's eyes were warm as she regarded her niece. "I see…may I ask what you mean about wrong reasons in regard to Jim?"
"The party was something he could put in his mother's face to show her once more that she doesn't get to pick who he loves and marries. He's also mad at his brother and wanted to put it in his face as well…which I get all too well. I'd appreciate it though if you wouldn't mention his reasons to Mom; she doesn't need to know the details."
"I won't say a word about it," she promised. "Why were you relieved?"
"Because it's just been stressing me," Johanna admitted. "Mom's on me constantly about planning it and making guest lists that she then rejects. I just got engaged in early December; this party gets brought up at Christmas and it's hurry up and get it planned so it can take place at the end of January and it was just…added stress; it's even caused Jim and I few disagreements and it's especially stressful when thinking about what all could go wrong with Jim's mother there. I can't even call her by her given name to her face, I have to address her as 'Mrs. Beckett'…and I told you how she humiliated me in front of Mom…Jim told her I had an allergy to pecans so she put them in everything at Thanksgiving…if that isn't hate I don't know what is."
"Oh my!" Bridget exclaimed.
"Yeah…and you know, I'm already thinking about what's it's going to be like to be related to her and I just had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that she'd do something at the party to humiliate me in front of my family. I don't want to hurt your feelings, I don't want you to think that I didn't appreciate the offer…but we feel it's best not to have the party and we can't be swayed to change our minds about it. I hope you understand."
Bridget reached for her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I do understand, sweet pea; don't think for a moment that I don't. If I had known how much trouble this party could cause, I would've never suggested it. I know you appreciated the offer and you haven't hurt my feelings, so please don't worry about that. If you and Jim feel it's best to let the party be canceled, than that's how we'll leave it. It's okay; I understand…I don't want to cause you trouble or additional worry and stress about something trivial."
"Are you sure you're not upset about it?"
The older woman smiled. "I'm positive."
"If you can't get your deposit back for the ballroom, I'll pay you back for it," Johanna told her; "Just let me know what it cost and I'll write you out a check so you'll be reimbursed."
"Oh, honey; don't worry about that. Your Uncle Will is good friends with the manager here, there won't be an issue getting our deposit back. I would still like to do something for you though; you know you've always been my favorite niece and I would like to give you something as a gift for your engagement. Isn't there something I can do or buy for you even if it isn't right this moment?"
Johanna thought for a long moment. "Maybe when the summer catalogs come out I can find a dress to wear when I leave for my honeymoon…if you want to get me something, not that you have to, maybe you could just get me a dress."
Bridget smiled. "I can do that; if you don't see anything in the catalogs you like, you tell me and I'll come into the city and we'll go to the stores and we'll find you something pretty to wear when you leave for your honeymoon. I think that's a nice idea and I'm sure it'll be something you can wear again so that's a very good engagement gift. Will and I will of course be buying you and Jim a wedding gift as well."
"You don't have to do that if you're going to get me a dress."
"The dress will be my gift to you for your engagement; you will also get a wedding gift and I won't here another word about it," Bridget said, her tone warm but firm. "Have you decided where you're going for your honeymoon?"
"Not yet; but we want to go somewhere tropical."
"Good choice. Will and I went to Cancun; it was lovely there."
"We haven't narrowed down any places yet…we haven't narrowed down much of anything yet. We're trying to go slow so we don't get crazy…I think that's another thing that made me uneasy about the party was how Mom was trying to push me through the planning of it and I just need to go at my own pace."
"That's understandable," her aunt agreed. "Don't let the wedding planning get to you so much…as long as you and Jim are happy; it'll be a beautiful wedding no matter what."
She smiled. "I hope so."
"It will be…and things will work out between you and Naomi; they always do."
"Yeah…eventually," Johanna agreed. "I just hope it isn't a sign of things to come in the coming months."
Johanna was making dinner when Jim came through the door that evening. "I'm sorry I'm late," he said when he finally made his way to the kitchen.
"It's alright," she replied. "Dinner isn't ready yet. Your car keys are on the stand by the door."
"I wasn't the slightest bit worried about them," Jim said before stealing a kiss.
"How did you get home since you left the car with me?"
"Zach dropped me off; it wasn't a problem."
She nodded as she turned the slices of ham in the skillet. "How did it go with the depositions?"
"It was long and tedious," he replied as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator. "How was court?"
"The hearing ran a little long but it went well."
"I told you it would," he said, watching as she checked the potatoes. "Are we having baked potatoes?"
"Yes," she answered.
He smiled. "With lots of butter?"
"Of course; that's the best way to eat them," she replied lightly.
He pressed a kiss against her cheek. "I'm starved."
"I figured you might be. About ten more minutes and it'll be ready."
Jim took a sip of his beer. "How did it go with Bridget?"
Johanna adjusted the heat of the burners and then turned to face him. "Well, I had to tell her about the argument with Mom. Then I had to go through the 'is your mother right and you are ashamed of your family?' spiel."
"I've never heard you say anything that made me think you were embarrassed of your family," Jim said; interrupting her. "You were always hesitant about me meeting your father but you explained that; it had nothing to do with embarrassment…it was about the way things are between the two of you. Other than that you didn't hesitate to introduce me to anyone from your family that we ran into…including Bridget."
"I know…but I had to go through it anyway."
"Did she try to get you to agree to have the party?"
"She told me I could give her the original guest list and she'd order the invitations but I told her no. I told her that we discussed it and agreed it was for the best that it was called off."
"Was she mad?"
"No; she asked why and I told her our reasons. She said she understands and that she's not mad or hurt by our decision to leave things as they are."
"Well that's good; it must be a relief to you…I know you were worried about hurting her feelings."
Johanna nodded. "Yeah; I am relieved about that…she didn't try to fight me on it, so maybe she thinks it's for the best too after the conversation she had with Mom last night. She didn't say that…but who knows?"
"Maybe she just knows it's what's best for you right now," he replied.
"Maybe so. She's supposed to go see Mom tomorrow."
Jim gave her a small smile. "Are you worried that you aren't out of the woods yet?"
"Oh I'm out of them as far as I'm concerned because I'm not changing my mind," Johanna remarked; "But I wouldn't put it past my mother to try."
"Hopefully she'll take no for an answer as easily as your aunt."
"I'm hoping so too because I really don't want to spend the next several months fighting with her. I mean if she doesn't want to help me with anything, that's fine, she doesn't have to go through all this trouble."
He sat his beer bottle on the counter and pulled her into his arms for a hug. "Oh I don't think she's going to let you out of her brand of wedding planning that easily, sweetheart. It'll work out, you'll see."
Johanna sighed softly as she accepted his hug; she hoped it all would work out…that soon this whole thing about the party would be in the past and her mother would return to her normal self. She didn't really want to plan her wedding without her; it just wouldn't be right.
"Hey," Jim said, breaking into her thoughts.
"What?"
"At the end of this miserable week, I promise we'll go out and put it all behind us…whatever you want to do, we'll do it."
She smiled up at him. "To tell you the truth, dinner out and sitting in a dark movie theater with you for a few hours sounds perfect."
"Then that's what we'll do," he promised; "And anything else you think up by the weekend."
"Something to look forward to," Johanna replied, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before she pulled away from him to check on their dinner.
The next afternoon, Bridget settled down at her sister-in-law's table and accepted the cup of tea that Naomi sat down in front of her. "I had lunch with your daughter yesterday," she remarked.
"Oh?" Naomi said as she took her chair. "I have two; you'll have to narrow it down."
"The smart one."
Naomi sighed. "Colleen's very smart in her own ways."
Bridget smiled. "I love Colleen…but you knew I wasn't speaking of her."
"Well I believe it's been widely reported that Johanna is the so called 'smart' one."
"She is an intelligent girl; she graduated with honors from Columbia; that's nothing to sneeze at."
"I know that," Naomi remarked; "I know she's very smart, I just worry that people don't value Colleen's intelligence as highly as they do her sister's."
"That's a topic for another day," Bridget remarked. "Aren't you going to ask how my lunch went?"
"Well, knowing my temperamental daughter, it probably didn't go well."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that entirely. Her feathers were still a bit ruffled but once she got it out of her system, she settled down and we had a nice lunch."
"I'm so happy for you," Naomi replied.
Bridget smiled. "Your feathers are still ruffled too."
"I think they have a reason to be ruffled. We're trying to do something nice for her and she acts like we're sentencing her to prison or something. There's no need to tell me that she's mad at me, I know she is."
"I believe you were the one who were mad…and your, shall we say, attitude toward her wishes about this party are festering and making her angry."
"Well she's so damn fussy sometimes; just like Frank. She thinks if you dislike someone in the family that you can just shun those certain people when you're inviting people connected to them to an event. Well that's not how it works."
"She's a girl with strong convictions," Bridget remarked. "She doesn't like being held to a will that's not her own."
"Then she better not get married."
"Oh I don't think she'll have any trouble as a wife…she's having a little trouble being a bride though."
"I know she's having trouble being a bride…because she doesn't want to listen to guest list etiquette."
"Maybe…but from what I hear, it can also be said that you don't want to listen to what she wants. You were crossing off her friends…calling them snotty lawyers and you don't even know them."
"Well whose fault is that?" Naomi asked. "She never brings anyone around."
"She's a grown woman, she doesn't have to bring her friends home to meet her parents."
Naomi huffed a little. "I know that but she doesn't include us in her life."
"Please," Bridget scoffed; "That's ridiculous and you know it. She includes you as much as any adult child does. She's always over here for dinner, she brought her fiancé for Christmas, she does things with you…don't go acting like you've been cut off from her because you haven't been. You don't like her job so you want to judge her friends for sharing that profession. It wasn't fair of you, Naomi. This party was to celebrate her and Jim's engagement…their friends are apart of their lives and they should've been allowed to invite who they wanted."
"I just wanted it to be a proper party where family came first," Naomi stated.
"Then it's no wonder she's not very enthusiastic about this party."
"Well what am I supposed to do, Bridget? Let her invite every lawyer she knows so the family can stand around feeling stupid in their presence."
"I don't think they were going to be trying cases in the middle of the party. You don't even know these people and you're assuming that they're stuck up and think they're better than everyone."
"That's how lawyers are."
"You daughter is a lawyer!"
"I know! I think it's had a bad effect on her!"
"No, it hasn't; you need to get off this."
"I just want this to be a family oriented party. I get sick of everything being about work for her."
"I should have never suggested this party," Bridget remarked. "I wanted to be nice and give her a special evening but it's only turning into trouble."
"It's turning into trouble because my daughter is so worried that someone might embarrass her in front of her precious friends."
"I don't think it's her friends that she's worried about. I think she's worried about her future mother-in-law embarrassing her in front of her family," Bridget replied. "Because the thing I kept hearing was 'Elizabeth'…not her mother or father or siblings…Elizabeth. You're so convinced that you know her motive for worrying, so convinced that you and the family are held in lower esteem than her friends that you can't see that the real person she's worried about embarrassing her isn't even in this family. It's Jim's mother…but you're not listening close enough."
"You always did take her side," Naomi said as she picked up her cup of tea.
"There were moments during our lunch when I'm sure Johanna felt like I was taking yours," Bridget replied; "I think you were unfair and I think she reacted to it the only way she knows how."
"The McKenzie way," her sister-in-law stated.
"Yes," Bridget replied; "The McKenzie way… and Johanna's not wrong, this family is known to have its squabbles in front of God and anyone else who wants to watch…especially when it involves an impending marriage. You two get along for the most part…but when there's wedding planning in the air; you two don't do so well."
"That's because she thinks she can just take all the time in the world and that's not the case."
"Everyone does things at their own pace, Naomi…just like you'll do when it comes to making up with your daughter."
"That's never as easy as it should be…even when she was a little girl she'd hold a bit of a grudge for a few days."
"That was probably because you wouldn't break Colleen of that biting habit and she was always her sister's favorite victim."
"Yes, I know…I am occasionally reminded that I babied my last baby."
Bridget smiled. "You should've known that was going to come back to bite you one day."
"Kids," Naomi muttered. "I hope one day Johanna has a daughter just like her or worse."
"I hope Colleen does…I hope it bites the hell out of her at least once a week."
"You sound like your brother."
"He's not always wrong," Bridget quipped. "It's funny though…usually you and Johanna are two peas in a pod while her and Frank are usually at odds with each other. Throw a big family event like a wedding in the mix and you and her will be at odds while she gets along with Frank."
"I don't know what to make of it either, Bridget…except that she's like her daddy like I always said."
"No; she's not like him all the time…she's got a healthy dose in there, but she's got a good dose of you and other members of the family to give her a bit of a more even temperament."
"Even temperament!" Naomi exclaimed; "One of my children!? Surely you jest. They all have the horrendous McKenzie temper."
"Like yours is a cake walk," Bridget laughed.
Naomi breathed deeply. "Stubborn daughters aren't easy to make up with…especially mine. She always gives me that look the first time we see each other after a disagreement."
"What look is that?"
"That one that looks like Frank; her jaw tight, that chin jutted upwards in McKenzie arrogance…her gaze cold…and the indifference she can give off…you know, when she's angry, she can blaze for days on end and you think it's best to let her cool down…but she can freeze you to death in the cool down," Naomi remarked.
Bridget laughed. "Well, she is a McKenzie…we have been known to freeze a few people."
"I just hate when I'm the one who gets the freeze…I'd prefer the yelling."
"Well, Naomi; all I can tell you is…wear extra layers when you decide to suck it up and make amends."
Naomi frowned. "I hate the thought of it."
"That may be…but I think you carry blame this time…I'm not saying Johanna's perfectly innocent, she does have a quick temper…but you started it."
"I don't need a rehash, Bridget; I've already listened to Frank's thoughts on the subject."
Her sister-in-law smiled. "Alright, I won't rehash it…but you know what you have to do."
"Yeah, I know," Naomi sighed. "I just have to figure our how and when."
"You better make it as soon as possible; the longer you wait, the harder it'll be."
"That's what I was afraid of," she muttered as she stared down into her cup.
"It may be easier than you think…the pressure of this party will be gone," Bridget told her. "I told Johanna she could give me her original guest list but she declined. She and Jim discussed this party and the trouble it was causing…and the trouble that could come with it later on and they decided that they no longer want this party."
"What!?"
"When you cancelled it, Johanna was relieved…she wasn't looking for that to happen but she was relieved just the same. They feel it's for the best that it remains called off and I've accepted Johanna's apologies for feeling that way and assured her that I'm not angry. I believe it may be for the best to leave well enough alone. I'll give her a different gift in honor of her engagement."
Naomi frowned. "Maybe I can sway her into coming back to the idea of the party. I'll tell her I won't say a word about the guest list; she can do it all her way."
"I don't think so; she seemed to have her mind made up…even offered to reimburse me for the deposit if I wasn't able to get it back," Bridget replied. "She doesn't want it and you need to just let it lie. Make amends with her and move on from it; she and Jim made the decision together and we need to respect their wishes."
Naomi sighed deeply…how did things always go so wrong…and how was she supposed to make it better?
The next afternoon, Naomi made her way down the hallway toward her daughter's office with a sense of trepidation. She didn't know what to say…she never did when it came to being at odds with one of her children…especially Johanna. She sighed a little as she approached the open door; this probably wasn't the best place to do this but she figured it had to be done in person and she wasn't sure when her daughter would be home. She stepped inside the office just as Sharon was hanging up the phone and a quick glance told her that the door to the inner office was closed.
"Mrs. McKenzie," Sharon stated as she met her eye.
"Since when do we stand on formality, Sharon?" Naomi asked.
"Since you called my mother and rescinded your acceptance of the invitation to my wedding."
"I see," she replied; "I'm afraid I can't apologize for that; you treated my daughter poorly and I can't abide by that nor do I take it lightly."
"I know," Sharon remarked; "But she can fight her own battles."
"Oh I know she can; she's been fighting battles since she was a little girl…and I don't expect you to understand my position right now; but one day, when you're a mother, you'll understand. Is Johanna in with a client?"
"No, her last client of the day just left a few minutes ago; she'll be spending this last hour and a half doing paper work."
"May I see her, please?"
"Go on in," Sharon said with a nod at the door.
"Shouldn't you announce me first?" Naomi asked.
Sharon smirked a little as she turned on the intercom. "If you don't know by now; your mother is out here and I'm sending her in to you," she stated, turning off the intercom before Johanna could answer. "Go on in, Mrs. McKenzie; you've been announced."
Naomi smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Miss Preston."
"It's Mrs. Harper."
"Now that's a fitting name," Naomi remarked as she moved to the door of the inner office. She stepped inside the office, closing the door behind her before seeking out her daughter. She found her standing by a file cabinet, looking over a file. She studied her for a moment; such a pretty girl, she mused; the Calabrese and McKenzie looks had blended just right when her daughter was created. She was wearing her hair up; her emerald green dress looked expensive but classy. She looked professional and yet beautiful as well…and apparently, she wasn't going to be the first to speak.
"Johanna," Naomi said, her tone somewhat quiet.
"What are you doing here?" Johanna asked, her gaze briefly flicking away from her file. "This place is full of snotty lawyers, you might get contaminated."
She smiled a little. "You are your father's daughter, Bambina."
Johanna shrugged, shutting the drawer of the file cabinet and laying the file down on the table where she had already put a few others. "Well, I know how you feel about people in my profession."
Naomi breathed deeply. "I'm sorry for what I said about your friends."
"No, you're not," Johanna replied. "It's not the first time you've made remarks about my friends."
"I was wrong to do that…I don't know all of your friends."
"And yet you judge them anyway…because it's how you see me; a stuck up snobby lawyer who only cares about herself and her next case."
Naomi shook her head. "That's not true."
"Yes, it is…you've made enough comments, Mom. You've made it clear that you don't like my career choice and that you don't think much of the people who hold this job."
"That's not true," her mother said once more; "I just…"
"You just what?"
"I just always felt like you were better suited for something else."
Johanna shook her head. "I don't want to be anything else; this is what I've always wanted."
"Yes, I know…and I guess I never understood why. Why the law, Johanna?"
"Because it interested me; because it's not the same thing every day…because I thought I could be good at it…because it was the one thing my father believed in me about," she stated. "He knew I could do it and I did…and I can't imagine being anything else. Nothing else interested me like the law did."
"You would've been a wonderful teacher; you're so good with children," Naomi replied; "Especially little children, kindergarten age…you would've done so well with them."
"I do well right here in the job I have!"
"I know, dear. I just worry…it's a job that can become consuming…it could even be dangerous."
"Every job in the world can be dangerous."
"Your father has already enlightened me to that fact."
"Then stop being this way about it," Johanna said in exasperation. "I'm not going to change my career to make you happy."
"What about when you're married and decide to start a family?"
Johanna looked at her oddly. "Then I'll be a wife and mother who is also a lawyer…I'm not going to give up my job, Mom."
"No, I wouldn't think you would…but…"
"But nothing, a lot of mothers work. Your problem is, for once in my life, I didn't do what you wanted. I did what I wanted…and I know it's not a career you'd pick for yourself or any of your children, but it's the one I wanted and that's just how it is."
Naomi moved a few steps closer, sitting her purse down on the table. "Perhaps I wouldn't be so against it if you shared it more often."
"I can't tell you every detail of my job because of confidentiality laws," Johanna stated; "But the times I have tried to share with you things about my job, cases I won, you get that look on your face like you don't want to hear it; or if I say 'I won this case, or I got this bonus, the next thing out of your mouth is 'oh that's nice, dear; did you hear that Colleen's part of the team decorating for the Governor, Colleen's decorating for a Senator next month, isn't that wonderful?' No matter what I do, no matter what I try to share, you have to bring up someone else; and usually it's Colleen…because nothing ever gets to be just about me in this family."
"Johanna…" her mother tried to interrupt.
"No!" she exclaimed; "Don't even say it's not the truth because it is; all my life I have never had anything be about just me. I wanted to take dance; Colleen had to take dance with me. I had a dollhouse; I had to let Colleen play with it even though it was my gift from my grandfather. I wanted to take ice skating, Colleen had to take ice skating. Everything I did, she had to be right there too; any achievement I got had to be paired with an achievement for her. I never got to do anything without her somehow being a part of it. I thought I finally got something in high school with cheerleading; had that to myself for two years and then here came Colleen to high school and she had to join too. I always had to understand, I always had to share, I always had to overlook her…and now, you have even brought up that I can accommodate her at my own wedding; which I'm not and I don't give a damn if you both get mad or not; but the point is….no matter what I do; it doesn't mean anything, I don't get anything out of sharing it with you because it's always about someone else in the next breath, like you're so desperate to keep up for Colleen…so I don't tell you anything about work anymore. Why bother; it's never as important as who Colleen's picking out pillows for and you never want to hear it anyway."
"I never meant to make you feel that way," Naomi replied; "Honestly, I didn't…your sister has just always been so sensitive that I got into the habit of making sure she was always praised for something as well whenever one of her siblings did something worthy of attention. I didn't realize that it took away from you or even Frankie. I'm sorry, Johanna. I do want to know about your successes…and I'm very sorry that I haven't given them the attention that they deserve."
"It's fine," Johanna said with a shrug. "I would've never mentioned it to you but you always want to bring up that I never tell you anything about work…and that's why I have stopped sharing it because I feel like it never mattered when I did…and I know you don't like my job anyway. I'm sorry I disappointed you with my career choice."
"You didn't disappoint me," her mother stated; "I'm very proud of you."
Johanna turned toward the thin stack of files on the table. "Doesn't feel like it when you're looking down your nose at 'snotty little lawyers'."
"I'm so sorry," Naomi murmured. "I never meant to hurt you…and I've always been proud of you for everything you've ever done; dance, ice skating, cheerleading, school plays, winning awards for special projects…getting accepted to Columbia and getting your law degree. I've always been proud…I'm sorry I wasn't better at showing it; but I will be better, I promise."
"So what are you here for?" she asked.
"To tell you how sorry I am for the other night," her mother replied; "And to ask if I can't sway you into changing your mind and having this party? You can invite whoever you want; it's your night and it should be done your way."
Johanna shook her head. "No, I can't be swayed. Jim and I discussed it and we feel it's best this way."
"Because we argued?"
"Not just that," she replied; "It's a lot of things…the haste it's being thrown together with, the stress, the things that could go wrong…the fact that the worries about it and the wrong reasons for wanting it were leading to arguments between Jim and I. We don't want a party coming between us, we don't want the drama it can bring. We just feel it's better this way…and I hope you can respect that."
The urge to push the issue rose up within Naomi but she saw the seriousness on her daughter's features and fought against it. "Alright, darling; if that's really the way you want it."
"That's the way I want it."
Her mother nodded. "I'm sorry it came to this."
"I'm sorry too…but honestly I wasn't crazy about the idea from the start. I don't need some party. Jim and I celebrated our engagement at Tavern on the Green and it was beautiful and wonderful…and to me, nothing can compare to that night I had with him. I already had my celebration, I don't need a party."
"But the party would be so your friends and family could've celebrated with you," Naomi remarked. "You can have more than one celebration."
"I know…but I don't want to this time. I had my celebration and I don't need another one. Everyone knows we're engaged; that's enough for us. We're good with the way things are."
Naomi breathed deeply. "Alright, Bambina; I won't say anything more about it. We'll leave things as they are. I understand why you no longer want it. I do think that your father and I do need to meet Jim's parents…I don't want that put off until the wedding."
"Alright, we can still have a dinner…but not this month, Mom."
"Why not?"
"Because Elizabeth is still mad about our engagement and I think she could use a cooling off period. I'm not trying to avoid it…I'm just trying to make it a little more settled; so can we wait awhile so it doesn't have to be as bad as it would be if we did it now."
"Alright, dear, we'll wait a few months and hopefully Jim's mother will be calmer by then," Naomi said; feeling like they were treading carefully. A knock at the door made her hold back the words she had been about to speak to bring up the topic of wedding planning.
"Come in, Sharon," Johanna called.
The door opened and Mr. Roche stepped inside. "It's not Sharon; she's not at her desk," he stated. "Are you with a client?"
"No," she said, alertness straightening her posture. "This is my mother; she came by to tell me something about the wedding planning. Mom, this is my boss, Mr. Roche."
Naomi glanced at the older man who was making his way toward them. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Roche," she stated.
"It's nice to meet you as well, Mrs. McKenzie," he said, offering her his hand. "I see where Johanna gets her beauty."
She smiled. "Thank you but I'm afraid I can't take all of the credit; she got the best of both sides of her family."
"She's going to be a beautiful bride," Roche stated.
"She is," Naomi agreed.
"Is there something wrong, Mr. Roche?" Johanna asked.
"I can step outside," Naomi remarked.
"No need for that," the boss stated; "This isn't about anything confidential. I came in to congratulate you, Johanna, on your win today."
Johanna smiled. "Thank you."
Roche smiled at Naomi. "You must be very proud; she brought in a five hundred thousand dollar victory."
Naomi's eyes widened a little. "Yes; very proud; that's a very impressive amount of money."
"It is," he agreed. "You did very well, Johanna; you always do of course, but this is one of your largest victories."
"Yes, it is," she said with a nod. "I'm just glad it played out the way I planned it without any surprises."
"Those are the best kind of victories, aren't they?" he said with a jovial laugh.
Johanna smiled. "They are."
"I also stopped in to tell you that you'll be seeing something extra in your next paycheck."
"Oh, you're getting a bonus," Naomi said with a smile; "That's so nice for you, dear."
"You will be getting a bonus," Roche said; "Five hundred dollars…but I was checking the books, and it looks like your accumulated wins have now brought you to that certain threshold where a change gets made. You've gotten your raise, Johanna; congratulations," he said, reaching for her hand.
A bright smile broke across her lips; she wasn't as competitive about the amounts her wins raked in like some of the people in the building, but she had been looking forward to the day when she'd reach the first threshold that would give her a nice increase in pay as a reward for a job well done. "That's great news," she said, trying not to be overly happy; she didn't want to look like a giddy teenager.
"It is," her boss agreed; "You've earned it…and I figure it comes at a good time for you with a wedding coming up."
"Yes, it is coming at a good time with a wedding to plan."
"You'll see the increase in your next paycheck; plus your bonus of course," Roche stated, his gaze shifting to Naomi. "We're very proud of her here; she's very good at her job."
"It does seem that way," Naomi murmured.
Johanna couldn't help but laugh. "My mother wanted me to be a kindergarten teacher."
Roche laughed with her. "With a good legal mind like hers? No; we need her here with us."
Naomi nodded. "I believe that's true…she's meant to be here."
"Johanna," her boss stated; "I know your engagement is relatively new but have you and Jim set a date or have an idea of a date? I can go ahead and mark in the books when you'll be getting married; I know you'll both be needing time off for your honeymoon."
"We're hoping for the weekend of August eighteenth," she replied; "But we're still very early in the planning process so we're not sure we're going to be able to get the exact date we want, depending on where we get married. We definitely want it to be in August, but I suppose it'll depend."
He nodded. "I understand completely; but I can still mark it down for August just so it's already on record and when you have the date settled, you or Jim come and let me know and things will be taken care of for you."
"Thank you," she said with a smile.
"Any idea where you two might want to go?" he asked.
"Well, we've talked about it a little; we want to go somewhere tropical…somewhere we've never been…somewhere where no one knows us and no one we know can get to us quickly."
Roche chuckled quietly. "Those are ideal qualities for a honeymoon."
"We think so," she laughed.
"I have to admit," her boss said; "I always like seeing my people get married…I know I have nothing to do with it, but it makes me feel like I had some sort of matchmaking role."
Johanna grinned. "Well; I guess in a way you did have something to do with it; you hired me…and I met Jim my first day here."
"Then I can claim a little piece of matchmaking responsibility," Roche said lightly.
"You can," she told him; "I won't mind."
"I appreciate it,' he said warmly. "I'll let you get back to your mother, I'm sure she doesn't want to listen to me all day. Congratulations once again on your win and your raise."
"Thank you," Johanna said sincerely. "It's a good feeling."
"I'm sure it's a feeling you'll have many more times," he assured before he said goodbye and left them alone once more.
"A bonus and a raise," Naomi said once the boss was gone. "That's wonderful for you, Bambina."
"Yeah…it's taken awhile to get there, but I finally did it."
Naomi took the risk of wrapping her daughter in a hug. "I'm so proud of you," she murmured; "And I know your father will be tickled to hear that you've gotten a bonus and a raise, a personal congratulations from the boss. It's a big day for you."
Johanna nodded. "It does feel like it," she admitted.
"I'm glad I was here," her mother said; "I'm glad I got to see it…see how valued you are here. Your boss seems like a kind man."
"He is for the most part," she stated; "He has his moments sometimes but overall he's a good man."
Naomi gave a nod, shifting on her feet as she wrung her hands. "I am sorry, Johanna; I took your worries the wrong way the other night and I overreacted."
"I've never been embarrassed by you, Mom. I'm not ashamed of my family."
"I know, dear. I'm sorry."
"It's fine."
Awkward silence fell between them for a minute as Naomi tried to figure out what to say. She felt like she was walking a fine line and she was afraid of losing her balance. "You've got a birthday coming up…any plans for that?"
"Nothing set in stone yet," Johanna remarked; "A few things have been mentioned but I don't know what I'll be doing. So far all I've really been thinking about is people for in the wedding."
Her mother nodded and then met her gaze. "How long are you going to be mad at me?"
"I'm not mad," she stated; "You're the one who was mad. You're the one who told me to leave."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that; it was uncalled for."
"It's alright; I'm used to getting throw out…it's just usually Dad who does the throwing…I like it better when it's Dad."
Naomi looked at her oddly. "Why?"
She shrugged. "I don't know; I guess because it's just how it is between us so it doesn't matter much when he tells me to get out."
"I'm glad he found you and drove you home…I can only imagine what was said about me during that car ride."
"Plenty," Johanna replied.
"Yes, that's what I figured," she said before taking a deep breath. "I don't know why I acted the way I did, Johanna."
"I think it's because you become a nut every time a wedding happens."
"That could be true."
Johanna's brow rose. "Could be?"
"Alright, it is true…but you're not innocent; you've got your father's quick temper and that habit of jutting your chin up in McKenzie arrogance and sometimes infuriates me."
"I do not!"
"You're doing it now!" Naomi exclaimed, gesturing to her daughter's chin which had jutted up that inch as it always did when she mad or offended. "You've been doing it since you were a toddler."
Johanna sighed. "What do you want me to do, Mom?"
"Forgive me."
"Okay, I forgive you."
"That didn't sound very sincere."
"Mom," she sighed. "It's been a long week."
"Alright, darling; I'll take what I can get for now. I better let you get back to your work; I don't want to cause trouble for you when your boss is so pleased with you today."
"I'll walk you to your car," Johanna told her as she moved across the room to grab the jacket that matched her dress.
"You don't have to, dear."
"I don't mind; I could use some air. They turned the heat up too much and now the damn thing is stuck and they have to get someone here to fix it…and who knows when that will be."
"Hopefully soon," Naomi replied. "I know you don't believe me but I really am very proud of your success, Johanna."
"I hope you are," she murmured. "And my friends aren't the bad people you think they are either…you'll be meeting some of them through the planning process…that is if you're going to help me. You said the other night that I could do it myself."
Naomi shook her head. "I didn't mean it, Bambina; I'm going to help you plan your wedding; there's nothing I want more and I'm sure I'll like your friends. If they're special to you, than I'm sure they're wonderful people," she said, thinking to herself that even if she didn't like them, she'd pretend she did.
A smile touched Johanna's lips. "I'm glad you're still going to help me…I didn't want to think of having to do it without you."
Naomi took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Don't worry; I'll be there with you every step of the way."
It was an hour and a half past the close of business when Johanna slipped into Jim's office after his last minute meeting was over. His gaze was on his files and he looked aggravated which wasn't exactly the mood she had hoped he'd be in. He glanced up at her as she neared his desk and she gave him a small smile. "Hey," she murmured.
"Hey, babe," he said quietly.
She smirked a little at the endearment he'd been throwing around lately. "I prefer the other one."
He smiled a little. "I try to give you variety."
"It's awful close to baby…and you know that one never gets you anywhere."
"Maybe one day it will."
"I guess we'll see."
"I thought you went home," Jim said as he reached for her, drawing her down onto his lap. "Sally said she gave you the keys to the car like I asked her to."
"She did…and I did go home and change. Are you ready to go home? I got us dinner; it's in the car."
"You better hope someone doesn't steal it while we're up here."
"I put it in the back and threw that blanket back there over it. I also locked the car; I figure it'll be alright for a few minutes."
"What did you get us?"
"Our favorites from our favorite Italian place," she said with a smile.
"Oh yeah? Fancy takeout tonight?"
"Yes," she said with a nod. "I got us some champagne on my way home too; it's being chilled as we speak."
"Fancy takeout and champagne?" Jim said; "What's the occasion?"
"Well first of all, the party is officially done for," she replied. "My mother came by the office today…she tried to sway me a little but it didn't work."
He toyed with her rings. "Are you sure she's done with it? I don't want to think she's going to wait a few days and start in on you again."
Johanna shook her head. "It's done. She did say that she would still like to have a dinner one night so your parents can meet mine but it no longer has to be so soon. She said we can talk about it in a few months and decide when the best time would be. Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah; that's fine. I can't promise my mother will go for it but I'll try to persuade her when it comes up. At least we don't have to worry about it right now."
"Agreed. I talked to Maggie earlier and told her about the party being cancelled. She said she and Jeff would give us a low key party if we wanted one; she said we could have it around my birthday."
"Out of the question," Jim said.
Her brow furrowed. "Why?"
"Because we have plans."
"What plans?"
"I can't tell you yet, it's a surprise."
Her eyes lit up. "Come on, tell me."
"No; you'll find out closer to your birthday," he told her; "And don't bother trying to wheedle me, it's not going to work."
"Alright," Johanna relented; "I'll let you have your secrets for now. I told Maggie that we probably wouldn't want to think of a party that soon after this mess we just got out of…so she said if we didn't want one around my birthday; she'd ask us again in a few months if we'd want a small party with friends. I told her it was okay to revisit the topic at a later date but that I wasn't making any promises about wanting or having a party."
"Good," Jim said; "We definitely don't want back in that game when we just got out of one. In a few months we might feel differently about a small party with our friends but for right now the answer is no."
"I'm in total agreement with that and Maggie understands our feelings about the subject."
"Good," he remarked. "You know, having the party officially buried doesn't seem like a fancy takeout and champagne kind of occasion."
"Oh it's not," she agreed; "But I have other things to celebrate."
"What?"
"I won my case," she said, a bright smile crossing her lips.
"That's my girl," he replied, stealing a kiss. "I knew you would."
"There's more."
"What is it?"
"I'm getting a bonus."
Jim gave her a grin. "Good, more money for your honeymoon bikini fund."
She laughed. "I think I'll have my whole honeymoon wardrobe covered and still have some left over."
"Oh, you must've gotten a five hundred dollar bonus this time."
"I did…and I got something else."
"What?"
"I got my raise," she said happily.
Jim smiled as he gave her a squeeze. "That's great, sweetheart; I'm so proud of you," he told her before kissing her.
She wrapped her arms around him the best she could, snuggling close. "I'm a little proud too."
"You should be very proud," he told her. "You work hard; you earned it…that's definitely a fancy takeout and champagne kind of occasion."
"I thought so too," she said before capturing his lips in a kiss; "And I thought you should know that the danger has passed…"
Jim laughed. "Is that you're way of telling me I can spend the night and have expectations?"
"Lots of expectations," she replied; "I have a lot of celebrating to do."
"Then we better go get started on that," he stated as he patted her hip. "Let me pack up my stuff and we'll go home."
She smiled as she got up from his lap; she always liked the way those words sounded on his lips…and she felt so much better now that this party debacle was over and done with. Maybe now they could just get back to enjoying each other and their engagement.