A/N: Thanks for your reviews. I know this chapter is shorter than usual but it's what felt right; the second half is mostly written. For those waiting on Unraveled I'll be getting back to it after these two chapters. Today was one of the worst days of my life, so please don't complain about update speed and which story you'd rather I update…I'm not trying to be mean by saying that; it's just that my heart is shattered right now and I just really need to write so I can keep my mind occupied as I try to get through this difficult time.
Chapter 75 – Temporary Exile-Part 1
Jim suppressed a sigh and took a sip of his beer as his client droned on about the trials and tribulations of his life. He'd much rather be with Johanna…even if she was having dinner with her parents. At least the food would've been good…and he would've gotten a decent portion. This restaurant that his client owned was a bit lacking, not that he could say so of course. Mainly he just wished he could be with Johanna…the past two weeks they had both been swamped with work and their date nights had been a casualty to their caseloads. In fact, so had their lunch dates…even their typical Wednesday night together hadn't panned out thanks to a short business trip to Connecticut for him. He wanted this meeting to go quickly…but his client didn't seem in a hurry.
"So what are my chances on these two cases?" Kenneth Hartford asked, dragging Jim out of his thoughts.
"Well, if you want the truth; I'd settle the first one and concentrate on the second one. You can win that way more easily."
"Settle!" Hartford exclaimed. "Do you know how much that would cost me!?"
"Yes," Jim replied; "It'll cost you a lot less than going through a trial and taking the chance of losing."
Hartford's brow rose. "You're supposed to make sure I don't lose…especially with the price you charge."
"Someone always loses," he replied; "There's a fifty percent chance it's you…although in that first case…I'm not going to lie, it doesn't look good."
"Why!"
"Because for the most part; you're guilty!" Jim exclaimed. "Your own evidence proves you're guilty of some of the accusations. I can't sugar coat that enough for you to make it a win…and I can't ignore it and make it disappear either."
"Why not?"
"Because unfortunately for you, I'm not crooked," he remarked. "Take my advice…which you're paying me for, settle the first one and let's concentrate on the second case; that one is your best bet."
"Could I win enough from the second one to cover the first one?"
Jim sighed deeply. "I can't guarantee that; the other side might want to settle as the trial goes forward."
"What if I say no to their settlement?"
"Then the judge will decide what you get…and it still might not be what you want. I don't even know for sure if they'll offer a settlement; if they do, we'll have negotiation room on it but if you flat out refuse it, it's certain you won't get the amount you want…because they're probably going to claim it's an inflated amount."
Hartford sighed in disgust. "Why does this sound like I'm losing all the way around?"
"Because you're too focused on the dollar signs instead of cleaning up these black marks against your businesses," Jim informed him. "Now I'm telling you, let's work out a settlement to offer for the first case…if they refuse it and it goes to trial, we may be able to work that angle that they're just after all they can get but don't bet on that to be a winning strategy."
Hartford rubbed his fingers against his brow. "Do you know how much my wife is going to bitch about a settlement? She doesn't like it when I lose money…she's already pissed off about these lawsuits as it is!"
"Surely she knows that lawsuits happen in the course of business…you do own quite a few."
"She doesn't care about any of that!"
"Well there's nothing I can do about your wife."
His client scoffed. "Are you married?"
"Engaged."
"Take my advice and don't do it," Hartford remarked; "You'll spend your whole life trying to please her and it'll never be enough."
"My fiancée isn't like that."
The other man scoffed. "That's what they all say in the beginning…then once they get in there, everything that's yours is now theirs…and very little of it belongs to you anymore."
"Maybe you just got the wrong woman," Jim suggested.
"Maybe I need a lawyer who will make these problems go away without it costing me more money!"
"I told you we can win the second case…the first one you can't; I can't change that…you did it, not me. I know you keep complaining about my fees but I assure you that I have colleagues who charge more…and I can guarantee you that some of them would cost you both cases."
"That's a pleasant thought," Hartford said sarcastically. "What the hell am I going to do?"
"I told you what to do."
"What about my wife?!"
Jim shrugged. "I know some good divorce lawyers."
"Are you crazy; that would cost me even more money! She'd really have it all then! You're just free and easy with my money, aren't you?"
"No," Jim laughed; "I was just offering a suggestion.
"Give me some that help," his client remarked. "I feel like I'm bleeding money! I'm paying you…I'm going to have to make some settlement…I might not make enough from the second case to cover the losses on the first one and to top it off, I bought these damn concert tickets to take my wife to DC next weekend to see the Eagles and she doesn't want to go because she's pissed off…so that's more money down the drain."
"The Eagles?" Jim asked; his interest piqued; "Next weekend?"
"Yeah; in DC."
"Would you be interested in selling those tickets?" he asked.
Hartford's brow rose. "You interested?"
"I am…but I'd need to get them tonight because I'll be heading to Baltimore on Sunday for a week on business. My fiancée is going and they're her favorite band."
His client smiled. "I'll sell them to you in a fair trade."
"Meaning what?"
"Meaning instead of handing me cash, you knock the amount off your bill."
"Fine," Jim replied; "How much?"
"Two hundred."
"No way; they didn't cost that much at the box office. Fifty; you're still coming out ahead."
"Fifty! You're one of the people bleeding my money and you want to insult me by offering fifty? No. Hundred and fifty."
"Seventy-five," Jim countered.
"A hundred," Hartford stated; "Surely your girlfriend is worth a hundred bucks to you…isn't she?"
Jim narrowed his eyes at him. "Fine; I'll knock a hundred off the bill but I want the tickets in my hand tonight."
"No problem," he replied; "They're in my office, we'll go get them after we finish eating…and while we're there, you call your secretary and make sure she's aware of the change in billing."
"Fine; it's a deal," Jim replied; it was a bit high of a price but Johanna was worth it…and they deserved to have something out of this trip.
"We're a little over a month into planning and we've barely accomplished anything," Naomi McKenzie complained as she roughly dropped a scoop of potatoes onto her plate before passing the bowl to her daughter. "You have to quit being so indecisive, Johanna!"
Johanna sighed deeply as she took her portion of potatoes and passed the bowl to her father who was being oddly silent. "Apparently I need to stop accepting dinner invitations too," she muttered.
"I heard that," her mother stated.
"You were meant to."
"And where is Jim? Why don't you bring him with you to dinner more often?"
"You called me at two-thirty, Mom," Johanna replied; "It's not like you gave me much advanced notice. Jim had things of his own to do."
"Like what?"
"Like work…and smartly avoiding these lectures about wedding planning. If I had known this was how dinner was going to be, I wouldn't have come."
"Oh believe me, I know," Naomi countered. "You just refuse to take responsibility for this wedding."
"Meaning what?" Johanna shot back. It had been a very long day at work and now the evening was looking just as bad as her work week had been. She really wasn't in the mood for this.
"Meaning you give the bare minimum in effort for planning this wedding. You keep changing your mind about even the smallest detail I think I'm getting pinned down with you. You deem every wedding gown as ugly…"
"They are; they're hideous and you know it. They're not me."
"You're not giving anything a chance! You won't even try them on to see if you'll like them once they're on!"
"If I think they're hideous on the hanger, I'm not going to like them on my body," she retorted.
Naomi huffed in annoyance. "You're getting married in five months and all we've accomplished is getting the church and a rough draft of the guest list! You won't even commit to a color scheme! What is your problem?!"
"At the moment you are!" Johanna exclaimed. "I can't help it that I don't just settle for the first idea to flick through my mind or yours. I've been swamped at work; I hate every wedding dress I've seen; Jim and I are trying to narrow down a list of venues to look at for the reception and all you want to do is yell at me! What do you want from me?!"
"I want you to get serious!" Naomi snapped. "We've had this discussion before. Why don't you pretend your wedding is a lawsuit and then maybe you'll give it more attention."
Johanna glared at her mother. "Mom, I love you; but every time you say something like that I just want to smack you."
"The truth hurts," Naomi retorted. "Now we're going to get serious about this planning whether you like it or not. I expect you here this weekend and I expect you here after work a few days this week so we can get these details ironed out."
Johanna gave a short laugh. "Well I hate to pop your bubble but I won't be over this weekend or anytime this week. Tomorrow I have errands to run and on Sunday I leave for Baltimore and I'll be there all week."
"What are you talking about!" her mother demanded to know. "Why on earth would you be going to Baltimore?"
"For work," she said sharply. "I have a case to put together and this trip has already been delayed once. I'll be there for a week doing research and taking depositions."
"Tell them to send someone else!"
"They are; Jim's going too. It's his case; he's first chair, I'm his co-counsel."
"Is it ethical for the two of you to be working on the same case?" her mother asked.
Johanna gave her an odd look. "Why the hell wouldn't it be?"
"Because of your relationship!"
"The only way it would possibly be considered a problem by anyone is if he was representing one side and I was representing the other…but since we're both working on this case together as co-counsel, there is no ethics violation. This case requires more than one person so I was assigned by my boss…who wouldn't have done it if there was a problem with it."
"You should've refused," Naomi exclaimed. "Why on earth would you take a case where you have to leave town for a week when you have other things to do?"
"It won't be just this one week; we'll have to go back in late April for the trial," Johanna told her.
"That's real nice, Johanna," Naomi retorted. "What possessed you to accept out of state cases when you have a wedding to plan?! You can't afford to keep losing time! Why would you do this?!"
"Because it's my fucking job!" Johanna yelled back before she could censor herself.
Naomi reached out and smacked her daughter in the mouth. "Don't you ever use that language at my table, young lady! If I could, I'd wash your mouth out with soap!"
Johanna brushed her fingers against her lips, seeing the small speck of blood where her mother's ring had nicked the corner of her mouth. "I'm a grown woman, I can say what the hell I want," she said sharply.
"Not at my table," Naomi said; fury written in the flutter of her hands. "I don't let your father get away with it and I'm not about to let you get away with it. I am your mother and you don't talk to me that way."
"But it's alright for you to sit there and yell at me for doing my job," Johanna retorted.
"Your job should be planning your wedding; not leaving the state every time you turn around!"
"My wedding will get planned," she shot back; "Jesus Christ, why don't you relax? You're more uptight about it than I am and it's my wedding; not yours!"
Naomi breathed in sharply. "You leave Jesus out of this and don't you take his name in vain! I swear; I don't know what's gotten into you tonight!"
"Well let's see," Johanna said sarcastically; "I've had the week from hell at work and then my mother calls under the guise of having a nice meal together and lure me over here only to yell and bitch about everything. So forgive me for not being thrilled at the moment."
"You need to drop your attitude, little girl," her mother stated; "I don't care about your problems at work; you leave them at the door when you come home. You do need to get serious, we have a ton of things to do and not much time to do it in and now you're going to be running off to Maryland twice during the planning process. How are we supposed to get anything done!?"
I'm not moving there, Mother," she said testily. "I'm going for a week and at the moment; I can't wait to get there!"
"Yes; so you can avoid your responsibilities about this wedding."
Johanna rolled her eyes. "Oh my God; will you stop!"
"You stop!" her mother countered.
"Both of you stop!" Frank yelled as he smacked his hand against the table, making them both flinch. "I've got a damn headache and listening to both of you bitch isn't making it any better. Johanna has a job to do, Naomi; she doesn't just get to tell her boss she isn't doing certain things because she has a wedding to plan. Johanna, you know from previous experience that your mother is an uptight nut when it comes to weddings; expect it and learn to deal with it. Now that's the end of it!"
"We wouldn't have to argue if she'd just cooperate," Naomi said; softening her tone as she picked up her glass of wine.
"You also wouldn't have to argue if you'd just relax," Frank stated. "She'll get it done."
"Not at the rate she's going," his wife replied. "At the rate she's going, she'll be getting married in the backyard wearing a halter top and shorts."
"Then so be it," Frank retorted; "I'll throw some steaks on the grill and have a cooler of beer ready to go."
"Frank!" Naomi exclaimed.
"Shut up, Naomi," he said testily. "I've had enough of this for one night. Johanna, wrap your dinner up and take it home so I can have some damn peace."
She nodded. "Alright, Dad," she said quietly; noting that he was squinting a bit. She knew those kind of headaches all too well.
"You don't have to go," Naomi stated. "We'll just change the subject."
"Mom, Dad doesn't feel good; he's not up for company and quite frankly, I'm not either anymore. I'm going to go dump my dinner in one of your containers and go home so he can have some quiet. He looks like he's getting one of those headaches that I get. He needs a dark room and quiet."
"Or a stiff drink," Frank muttered.
"If that works, let me know," Johanna replied as she picked up her plate and headed for the kitchen.
Naomi followed behind her. "When you get back from Baltimore, I expect you to be over here and ready to do some serious planning!"
"Mom, I'll get it done!"
"You keep saying that and I see no proof of it. Can you at least try to pick a color scheme on your down time in Baltimore?"
"Yeah; Mom, I'll do it between depositions, okay?"
"Don't be a smartass, you know it irritates me."
Johanna scrapped her dinner into the plastic container she had taken from the cupboard. "Don't be a nut and I won't irritate you. I'm trying to make decisions; I just want them to be the right ones. I'm not Colleen; I don't just jump at the first ugly thing I see."
"Planning was much easier with your sister," Naomi commented; "She was more invested in it."
"I am invested!" she exclaimed. "I don't have to be a crazed lunatic to be invested. Now I'm going home and don't bother calling in an hour because I'm turning the phone off and soaking in a very long bath."
"How are you getting home?" Naomi asked; "I could drive you."
"I have Jim's car," she remarked; "He took a cab to his meeting."
"Seems like you have his car all the time lately."
"I don't demand it, Mother," Johanna said with a sigh. "It's always his idea for me to take it except for a few times when I've asked to take it to the store so I don't have to haul groceries home in a cab. He gave me a key and said it's my car too."
"You'd think he'd prefer it to be with him when he's having a meeting with a client though, dear."
"Mom," she said in exasperation. "Jim told me to take the car because he didn't want me walking to the diner to catch a cab to get home. He left for his meeting from the office just like I left the office and came here; he didn't have far to go unlike me. It was his idea, he's fine with it. I haven't taken over his car."
"I didn't say you did…it's just unusual for you to have it so much."
"Why are you so nitpicky tonight!" Johanna exclaimed as she put the lid on her container. "It's not like I'm taking your car."
"I was just making an observation!" Naomi retorted; "You're the one being defensive about everything."
"I can't imagine why," she said as she picked up her container. "I'll see you when I get back from Baltimore."
"Aren't you going to call before you leave?" her mother asked.
"Yes, Mother," she sighed; "I will call you before I leave. I love you, goodnight."
"I wish you wouldn't rush off," Naomi stated.
"Mom, tend to your husband," she remarked, pausing to press a kiss to her father's cheek as she passed by him. It wasn't a gesture she usually bestowed but she appreciated him basically putting her out of the house. He wasn't the only one who would have peace by issuing the demand.
"Goodnight, Josie," Frank replied.
"Goodnight, Dad."
"Johanna," her mother said as she followed her to the entryway where she stopped to put on her coat. "I am serious; we need to get things done."
"I know, Mom! You've done told me fifty million times!"
"Well how many times do I have to tell you before it sinks in!" Naomi yelled back.
"Naomi!" Frank yelled. "Shut the hell up and let the girl go home! Get in here and clear these damn dishes and wash them. I'm going to bed and don't even think of speaking when you eventually enter the room, I've had it!"
"You better do what you're told," Johanna whispered as she fished her keys out of her purse. "Talk to you later."
Her mother glared at her as she kissed her cheek. "This isn't over," Naomi whispered back.
"It never is," Johanna mumbled as she pulled the door open and hurried across the threshold; sucking in a breath of chilly March air. She couldn't wait to go home, sink into a tub full of bubbles and forget this week had happened.
Jim carried a glass of wine through Johanna's apartment, making his way to the bathroom door that his fiancée had been hidden behind before he had even arrived that evening. He had knocked on the bathroom door earlier to let her know he was there but she didn't seem to be in a hurry to join him…her tone somewhat dejected. She hadn't seemed happy that afternoon when their lunch date was canceled due to last minute schedule changes for both of them…and he assumed that maybe dinner at her mother's hadn't gone so well since she had apparently came home and decided to hide in the bathtub all night. It was time to make her feel better he figured as he pushed open the bathroom door, slipping inside and closing it behind him.
A few lit candles gave the room a soft glow as he moved inside, Johanna still submerged beneath her bubbles. Her eyes were closed but she cracked them open as he neared the tub. "I thought maybe you could use this," Jim said quietly as he held out the glass of wine.
"Thank you," Johanna murmured as she accepted the glass and took a sip.
Jim sat down on the floor next to the bathtub. "You want to tell me what's on your mind this week?"
"It's just this whole week has been a pain," she muttered before taking another sip.
"In what ways?"
"Work as usual. I had to make some changes to the schedule which meant I had to hear Sharon's usual 'I hate when you change the schedule' speech."
"Tell her to shut up."
"I do; she just never does it."
Jim gave her a small grin. "Slap her."
"Don't tempt me."
"What else has gone on?"
"Well on the Sharon angle; she's constantly asking me when we're going to go look at bridesmaids dresses and when I tell her that I don't know, she starts saying 'Why are you taking so long!' and then I have to hear about how she didn't procrastinate for her wedding…that there must be something wrong with me."
"No, there isn't," Jim replied. "You have more on your plate than just planning a wedding. You have work and family driving you crazy. It'll get done."
"Eventually," Johanna said quietly. "I think the more pressured I get about it…I don't know the right words," she sighed.
"Then use the wrong ones, I promise I won't get mad or offended."
Johanna took another sip of wine. "The more people pressure me about it, the less excitement I feel about it. I mean I want to get married there's nothing I want more…it's just…"
"They make the wedding into a job instead of something to look forward to," Jim supplied.
"Yeah," she admitted. "It makes me sound terrible, doesn't it?"
"No," he said with a shake of his head. "It shouldn't be made to feel like a second job."
"And yet it does feel that way…and I don't want it to…but I don't know how to change it. People keep yelling at me about wasting time and I just don't know how to get it all done as quickly as people want me to. I'm swamped at work right now…going to Baltimore on business looks like a damn vacation because I want to get away from the office so badly I can't stand it."
"I know," he murmured; thinking to himself that buying those concert tickets had been a wise idea. "I'm swamped too…seems like some of us are doing more than our fair share right now."
"Yeah," she scoffed before taking another sip of her wine; "While people like Charles and Steve are hardly doing anything…even Phil's caseload isn't as heavy as ours."
"I've noticed," Jim remarked. "It doesn't make sense to me why that is either…except that we're better at the job than they are."
"Maybe if they were held accountable once in awhile for their screw ups they'd try harder."
"But that's the problem, sweetheart; they don't want to try harder. They like the easy wins…the clients that throw them off the books bonuses to sway cases a certain way. They don't do things by the book like we do…and the bigwigs know it…they just don't do anything about it I guess because there's a certain segment of clientele they want to cater to."
"It's not fair."
"No, it isn't…but there isn't much we can do about it. They get the easy way out and we get swamped."
"It's the first time I've ever felt like it was too much," Johanna confessed; her voice nearly a whisper. "I just feel like I have way too many cases right now…and it's like they all came at once."
"That's because they did," he stated; "So did mine; for two days straight last week Sally kept hauling in new files that were sent down from Roche. I don't know what the hell is going on or who he wants to impress but he's exhausting everyone. I'm looking forward to Baltimore too…at least that's the only case we need to concentrate on for that week…and maybe being away will ease some of the stress you're feeling."
"I hope so…because I've hated going to work this week. We've been working late since last week. We haven't been able to go out…I didn't even get to see you Wednesday…and I know; it was only one day…but…I missed you."
"I missed you too," Jim replied, leaning over to steal a soft kiss. "I hated that I didn't get back from Connecticut until late that night."
"I know…and then this evening we thought we might get to go out for a drink at least but then you had that meeting with a client and my mother called and I went over there. It's another reason I'm glad we're going to Baltimore…even if Roche did give me that 'we're reserving two rooms' speech."
"What?" he asked.
"Oh you know; he's reserving each of us a room because 'we have a reputation to uphold'…and then in the same breath tells me the rooms have a door between them to connect them…so we should each go in our own room and use the connecting door if we want to spend our time with each other so that no one knows."
"So no one knows what?" Jim asked incredulously.
"I'm assuming it's his thinly veiled way of saying he doesn't want people to know we might be having sex in a hotel room that our firm is paying for so he's trying to make it discreet."
"We're engaged!" he all but yelled. "We shouldn't have to sneak around; who the hell is going to know? Is he sending a spy to see which door we go in?"
"Hell if I know," she replied; "I look at it this way, when we check in, we'll go to the rooms we're assigned to and open the connecting door. I'll put my clothes in my room to make it look good, and I'll get ready in that room so we don't have to be crammed in a small hotel bathroom at the same time…but other than that; I'll be in your room."
He sighed deeply. "Why do people have to try to ruin our escape?"
"Because people suck."
"I agree."
"I just love how we're being worked to death this month but Stanley is off in the Mediterranean on a yacht…on supposed business. What kind of business is he possibly doing out of the country?"
"Oh you know, the suck up kind," Jim remarked. "He'll do twenty minutes of business…and the rest of his two week trip will be pleasure…and when he comes back he'll get his slap on the back and a nice bonus in his paycheck and he'll puff all up thinking he's special."
"Someone ought to stick a pin in him when he puffs up like a buzzard," she remarked.
Jim laughed quietly as she took another drink. "I agree…maybe he'd fly around the room like a balloon that the air has been let out of."
"That would be a sight…right up there with his mirror pep talks."
"Those are always special moments."
"God, I hate him."
"So do I…I wish I had punched him harder," Jim mused aloud.
"Are you ever going to tell me exactly why you did punch him that time?"
"Because he deserved it and he had it coming," he replied.
"Yes, but why did he deserve it?"
"For a lot of reasons. It just something that needed done."
"So in other words you're not going to tell me."
"Nope; you don't need to know."
"It was about me, wasn't it?" she asked.
"It doesn't matter what it was about…he got what he deserved…end of story."
"I refused a case today," Johanna went on, figuring Jim wasn't going to tell her the whole story today anymore than he had for the past year. "Roche wasn't too happy about it."
"Why did you refuse it?"
"Because he wanted me to work on it with Melanie and I told him hell would freeze over and donkeys would fly before I worked on a case with that bitch. He told me we could put aside our differences and work together and I told him I do that every day when I walk into the building and co-exist on the same floor with her. I told him if he forced us to work together it would only end in bloodshed…hers…because we despise each other and there's not enough faking in the world to make it work. He was pissed but he stuck her with Jackie."
"He'll get over it."
"I don't care if he doesn't. I'm not working on any case with that bitch."
"You were only doing him a favor by saying no," Jim remarked. "You saved him bail money, a pink slip and a higher than usual cleaning bill to get her blood off the carpet."
"You'd think he'd be grateful," she replied before downing another sip.
"Some people just don't appreciate a good thing," he stated. "What else is bothering you this week?"
She breathed deeply. "I don't know really…I guess I just feel overwhelmed right now…which seems stupid…I'm used to the job, I know the wedding needs planned, I'm used to putting up with people and their crap…but…"
"But sometimes it gets to you," Jim said, filling in the blanks. "There's no shame in that; everyone feels that way once in awhile."
"I know…but I think it feels even worse when you just can't tell people to back off…because you know we can't say that at work. I push my limits as it is…and I can only say so much to friends and family before they get pissed off and that's just more drama and stress."
"But sometimes you have to tell people to back off…they'll get mad but they'll get over it eventually…and if they don't; well then that's one person off the list that stresses you out," he said lightly.
She smiled a little. "If only it was that easy."
Jim reached for her wash cloth and lathered it with her strawberry soap. "I'll wash your back," he told her, nudging her to lean forward.
She took another swallow of her wine and then shifted so he could wash her back; the warm water feeling good as it trickled down her skin. "That feels nice," she murmured.
"Good," he replied as he moved the cloth over her back slowly. "How were things at your mother's?"
Johanna sighed deeply. "She only invited me to dinner to bitch at me."
"About the wedding planning?" he asked as he moved the soapy cloth over her shoulders.
"Of course; what else is there?"
"What did she say?"
She took a long sip of her drink, finishing the glass and setting it aside as he moved the wash cloth over her collarbone. "The usual, I need to take it more seriously; I give my job more attention than my wedding. I shouldn't be going out of town on business when I have a wedding to plan. I need to be over there more often getting things done. I need to quit being indecisive about details…those are the highlights."
"Sounds like a fun dinner," he said sarcastically as he swiped the cloth across her other collarbone.
"Loads of fun," she quipped; "I already washed, just so you know...because I think you're inching your way to copping a feel."
Jim chuckled lightly as he rinsed the soap off her skin. "Now would I do that?"
"Yes," Johanna replied, a small teasing smile on her lips.
He shook his head. "Not at all; I'm just taking care of my wife."
"I'm not your wife yet."
He shrugged. "Not in a legal sense but you will be soon enough; I'm just taking it for a test drive."
"You're test driving me?" she asked in amusement; "How romantic."
Jim laughed as he leaned closer and kissed her bare shoulder. "It's a very romantic drive," he assured.
"Mhmm."
"Of course this week I guess there hasn't been much room for romance."
"No," she sighed; "But it's no one's fault…we're both swamped and stressed right now."
"I know…but at least it's Friday now…and come Sunday we'll be leaving town…I know it's for work but since that one case will be our only focus, we should be able to squeeze in some time for us while we're in Baltimore."
"I'm looking forward to it," Johanna murmured. "I really am…not just the having time for us but getting away in general…no matter what my mother says about it."
"Did you tell her it was me who asked to have you put on this case?"
"God no, she'd really go off on a tangent then. I told her Roche assigned me…which technically he did since he cleared the request. It's better to let her think it was the boss than you."
"Saving me from your mother's wrath, huh?"
She nodded. "I hope you appreciate it."
"I definitely do," he remarked; "Do you want me to refill your wine?"
"In a little while," she murmured.
"What else happened at your mother's?"
"It was all wedding related…telling me I'm not giving any wedding dresses I've seen a chance. I'm not going to just settle for something ugly. I have hated everything I've seen so far…they're just not me."
"You'll find the right dress," Jim soothed. "You might have to think outside of the box…go to New Jersey or Pennsylvania and look in shops there."
"It'll probably come to that," she remarked; "But what if I never find it?"
"You will," he promised; "I'm sure of it. There has to be one beautiful dress out there just for you."
"I'm not so sure of that," she sighed. "Wedding fashion is hideous this decade. There ought to be a law against it."
He kissed her cheek. "You'll find it…I know you will."
"I hope so…otherwise I'm going to look silly showing up in a cocktail dress."
"I personally think you're gorgeous in cocktail dresses," Jim remarked.
She smiled. "You'd be the only one to think that in the church on our wedding day."
Jim nodded. "Which works out perfectly since I'm the only one there that matters."
Johanna laughed. "My mother might not agree with that assessment."
"Lucky for us we're not asking her."
"True. I know she's all gung-ho about planning but she's just putting so much pressure on making it every waking moment of my life."
"It doesn't need to be like that…you have to have balance or you'll go crazy."
"I don't feel like I have much balance right now," she admitted. "I feel overwhelmed and I'm hoping our trip to Baltimore eases that a little."
"I'm sure it will; we'll be away from the people who are pressuring you…for a whole week. You'll feel better…and if you don't, we'll find a way to make you feel better no matter what."
She was quiet for a long moment, something brewing within her but Jim decided to wait her out instead of asking; wanting her to tell him on her own without prompting.
"Jim?" she said softly.
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask a hypothetical question about something that isn't going to come up until some time in the future?"
His hand found hers. "Sure, sweetheart; go ahead."
She breathed deeply. "It's just that I've been thinking at times this week…about being overwhelmed with work and wedding planning….and I couldn't help but think, what if a few years down the road when we have a baby…what if I feel overwhelmed trying to juggle a baby and work? What would you say if I was and that I might want to stay home for awhile with the baby? I'm not saying that I want to give up my career when we have kids…but what if I am too overwhelmed trying to do both? What if I do decide I'd rather be home with our baby for awhile? What would you say?"
Jim lifted her hand and pressed a soft kiss to it. "I'd assure you that I make enough to support you and the baby. I'd tell you that if it's what you want and what feels right, to put in your notice and stay at home with the baby for as long as you wanted. I know your career is important to you…just like I know that one day when we have a baby that our child is going to be even more important to you. I'm never going to make you choose between them. I'm not going to be one of those husbands that says 'okay, we have a baby now, you need to quit your job and stay home and take care of it.' I'm also not going to be one of those husbands that forces you to keep working after having a baby. The choice will be yours…and if you go back to work after having a baby and you find that it's too much and you want to be home, I'll support that decision. You don't ever have to worry about that."
She gave him a soft smile as she leaned forward and caught his lips in a soft kiss. "I appreciate that, I really do…because I don't know what the future holds…and as much as I want to keep my career…I want to know it would be okay if that day came when I felt like I couldn't in favor of our child."
Jim cupped her cheek. "I'll stand behind any decision you make; because no matter what, we'll be okay."
"It seems silly to be thinking about what ifs that far ahead, doesn't it?" Johanna murmured.
"No," he said with a shake of his head. "I get why you're thinking of those things. I think of things too."
"Like what?"
"Like making sure you have a decent home…that's why we already talked about where to live; because I know my apartment isn't a reliable place to be in the winter with the heat being off all the time lately. I worry about making sure you're warm and safe."
"I'm not worried about that at all…because as long as I'm with you, I know I'm safe…and I know I'll be warm."
"I think about it though," he admitted. "I think crazy things sometimes too…like what if I screwed up somehow and lost my job somewhere down the line. How would I take care of you until I found another one?"
"You're not going to lose your job," she soothed; "You've never done anything to risk that. If you did lose your job for some reason…I'd still have mine and we'd be fine until you found something else…unless of course whatever they fired you over was stupid and I told people off and got fired too…then we might have to pinch pennies…but we'd make it…I know we would."
He smiled. "It sounds stupid but if that scenario happened; I wouldn't feel right having my wife taking care of the bills because I had lost my job."
"It's not stupid…you have your pride, I know that," she said softly; "But I'd never make you feel like you were something less because of it if that happened. We're supposed to take care of each other, not just you taking care of me."
"I know…but you know how it is."
"I do know," she said with a nod; "But we'll be okay…no matter what the years down the road throw at us."
He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You're right, we'll be fine."
Johanna nodded. "We just have to get the wedding planned first."
"We will…your mother just needs to ease up on you a little and then maybe you'd feel more like dipping into the bigger things. I don't blame you for feeling how you do about it; you've been through two crazy bride situations with Colleen and Sharon…now you're being pressured about your own wedding…we even had to cancel the engagement party because of how people were acting about it. If people would back off, you'd feel a lot better."
"Yeah, I would…but no one besides you and Maggie get that."
"Eventually you're going to have to make them get it," Jim replied.
"Yeah…I'm just dreading that day."
"I know."
She sighed deeply. "How was your meeting?"
"It was alright; nowhere near as bad as your evening seemed to be."
"Seems like I usually win that one," she quipped. "I don't know why that is."
"You're just special," he grinned. "How did you manage to escape from your mother's?"
"Dad told me to leave…he's not feeling good this evening and wasn't up to listening to us argue. It's the first time I've been grateful to be put out of the house."
Jim chuckled lightly. "He did you a favor and threw you out?"
"In a gentle way…which goes to prove that he's coming down with something. My mother asked how I was going to get home and I told her I had your car…she thinks I've taken over your car since I've had it with me the last few times I've been there."
"You have not taken over my car," Jim replied. "I tell you to take it."
"Tell that to my mother the next time you see her."
"I will…but at least you had a reason to flee after dinner."
"He didn't wait until after dinner…and I'm glad. He told me to wrap up my dinner and bring it home with me. I guess I'll heat it up after I get out of this bath."
Jim glanced at her sheepishly. "Was that dinner in a blue container?"
"Yes," she said slowly as she eyed him; "Why do you ask?"
"A blue container in the fridge…on the top shelf?"
"Yes…why?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well…when I got here and you were in here…I was still kind of hungry…so I thought I'd eat while I waited for you. I saw the container and thought you had brought me home dinner from your mother's…so I…kind of…ate it."
"You ate my dinner?"
"Yeah…I'm sorry."
Johanna burst into laughter. "I can't believe you ate my dinner!"
"I just assumed that you had brought me home leftovers," he remarked, rubbing the back of his neck once more.
"I would have if I had thought of it…but I was in the midst of battle and trying to flee since I was given an excuse. I thought you ate with your client?"
"I did but not much…the food wasn't very good. See, this is a thing for me to be worried about, keeping you fed…because I always need to be fed…"
"You do," she said with a nod.
"I know…and what kind of husband eats his wife's dinner while she's taking a bath?"
"One who doesn't know it's her dinner," she said as she continued to laugh.
"I might need a program or something," Jim replied. "You'll just waste away if I keep eating your dinner."
"Nope, no one gets to program you but me," she quipped, her fingertips skimming against his chin.
"I can't believe I ate your dinner."
"It's okay," Johanna said amid giggles. "I'm not mad, I needed the laugh."
He gave a soft laugh. "Well I guess that's something."
"It's everything," she murmured, her gaze softening as she leaned toward him and captured his lips in a lingering kiss.
"Anything for you," he whispered; brushing a lock of her hair back from her face.
She kissed him once more. "I love you."
"I love you too."
Johanna drew him back for another searing kiss before she pulled the plug to let the water out of the tub. "Get me a towel," she said softly as she pushed herself up out of the tub.
"Do I have to?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips as he looked at her.
"Well…it would keep me from dripping everywhere."
"Yeah…but as much as I love seeing you in a towel…I like naked even more."
"We all have to make sacrifices, darling," she quipped. "I sacrificed my dinner by leaving it unattended…and you're going to have to temporarily sacrifice your view."
"Using the dinner against me, slick, very slick," Jim said as he rose from his spot and grabbed her a towel, moving closer to wrap it around her. "I did notice though that you said temporarily…can I see the fine print on temporarily?"
She smiled as she made sure the towel was securely wrapped around her and then she kissed him once more. "The fine print on temporarily is…once I'm dried off…I'm all yours."
"Really?" he said, his arms slipping around her.
"Mhmm."
"What about your dinner?"
"I'm not all that hungry," she murmured between kisses. "I'd just rather be with you…and tomorrow we'll have a big breakfast."
Jim gave her a smile as he lifted her out of the tub. "Breakfast is one of my favorite meals."
"Then we enjoy tonight…feast for breakfast…and then get packed and run errands so we can get the hell out of this city for awhile come Sunday," Johanna replied.
"Sounds like a plan, sweetheart," he answered; glad to see that some of the heaviness seemed to have lifted from her shoulders…that light had returned to her eyes. He still felt badly for eating her dinner…but at least he had given her a reason to laugh…and hopefully the non-business parts of their trip would make it up to her.
Late Sunday morning, Johanna was hurriedly washing breakfast dishes and trying to get them put away as Jim shoved files into his briefcase. "You could just let those dishes go until we get back," he commented as he glanced at her, watching her scrub a plate quickly and then rinse it.
"I'm not letting dishes sit for a week!" Johanna exclaimed. "You don't do that."
"I do."
"Yes, I know…that's why when I'm at your place, one of the first things on my agenda is washing dishes because I can not stand a sink full of dirty dishes," she remarked.
He smiled. "You're better at washing them anyway."
"I've noticed," she said with a nod; "But just go ahead and prepare yourself to learn how to do it right when we're married because there may be a day when I'm sick or something and need you to wash the dishes…so we're going to make sure you can do it right."
"I'm all excited about that," he replied; a hint of amused sarcasm in his voice.
She gave him a slight smirk. "If you're a good student, you might be rewarded."
His brow rose. "Oh yeah? What kind of reward are we talking about?"
"Oh I figure it'll probably have to be your favorite kind to make it worth the pain," she replied with a smile.
"You should've told me that sooner; we could've started this morning."
"We got a late enough start because you talked me into turning the alarm off," Johanna replied as she hurriedly dried the dishes.
"We were still tired…we usually sleep in on Sundays."
"I know; but this isn't our typical Sunday. We've got things to do."
"They'll get done. Baltimore is only a four hour drive."
"Yeah, and by the time we get on the road it'll be noon…so we won't get there until four and we have to settle in and get something to eat, make sure we have things in order for work tomorrow."
"Hey, I'm ready when you are," Jim replied. "Leave the rest of the dishes."
"I've only got a few more to put away," she said as she dried the remaining dishes in the drainer. "You could start loading the car."
"I will as soon as I finish putting these papers away."
"I told you not to unpack it," Johanna told him. "You went over it all last night and had it packed."
"I wanted to be sure I had everything."
"We went through that last night. We made sure we both had everything packed and ready to go…in fact we went over it twice."
"I like to be sure," he said; "Don't act like you don't check your purse ten times before we head out the door."
"I do check it but not ten times," she said as she quickly put the dishes away.
"Sometimes it feels like it."
"This is why we shouldn't have turned the alarm off; now we're rushed and you're cranky," Johanna stated; "Go load the car and I'll get ready."
"Alright," he replied as he closed his briefcase. "Do you have everything you're taking sitting by the door?"
"Yes, and don't ball up that dress bag and shove it in the trunk like it's a bag of garbage. I don't want my dresses wrinkled."
"I'll be extra careful with your dresses," he promised.
"Make sure you are or I might change my mind about rewards," she quipped.
"Scouts honor."
"Does that still count coming from a disgraced scout?"
"It counts twice as much," he said with a grin as they left the kitchen.
"We'll see about that," Johanna said lightly as he began to gather up their bags and opened the door.
She hurried through the apartment, making her way to the bedroom to slip her shoes on and check her purse to make sure she had everything she needed. She grabbed her keys from the dresser and shoved them into her purse; and then thinking of the hours long drive ahead, figured she better go to the bathroom so she wouldn't have to ask Jim to stop somewhere along the way and delay them further. When she finished, she went to the closet and took out her jacket, slipping it on just as Jim came back to the apartment.
"Are you ready?" he asked as he started gathering up the few remaining bags.
The phone rang before she could answer and she cringed a little. "I'm sure that's my mother…I have to answer; when you come back up be very firm about us leaving so I can get off the phone."
"You got it, sweetheart," he replied as he made sure he had the rest of their bags and her briefcase as she grabbed the phone.
"Hello?" she answered.
"Johanna, you didn't call me last night," Naomi stated.
"I know, Mom; Jim and I were getting things in order for Baltimore and time got away from me. I'm sorry."
"That's alright, dear," she sighed; her suffering of motherhood clear in her tone.
"I'm getting ready to head out the door now; we have to get going," Johanna stated; "I'll call you when I get back."
"I want you to call and let me know you got there safely," Naomi remarked; "I'll worry if I don't hear from you tonight."
"I promise I'll call after we get settled."
"And you need to be thinking about things for the wedding while you're there, Johanna," her mother went on. "Work can't always be your excuse to do nothing."
Johanna blew out a breath. "I told you I'll do my best to work some things out."
"Make sure you do…anything would be an improvement over nothing. If you could at least pick a color scheme this week that would be nice…anything would be nice really; at least we'd have a starting point. Time is ticking, Bambina."
"I know, Mom; you keep telling me."
"You'd think having to hear me say it over and over would inspire you to do something about it."
"I'm trying!" she sighed. "I don't know what you want me to do."
"You know what I want you to do, Johanna. We have a million things to accomplish before August…it's already the middle of March. Pick a color scheme; figure out what venues we want to look at for the reception, start thinking about flowers and music and food for this wedding. Start having an open mind about wedding dresses. Do something…anything."
"I will!" she said sharply as she rubbed her fingers across her forehead. "Did you only call to lecture me?"
"No, I called because I haven't heard from you since you left here the other night and I knew you were leaving today. Is it a crime to care about you?"
"No; I could just do with less lectures."
"I have to keep after you, Johanna, or this won't get done," Naomi remarked.
"Jo," Jim said from the doorway, giving her a wink, "Get off the damn phone, we need to get going."
She smiled at him, keeping her tone serious as she addressed her mother. "I have to go, Mom; Jim's ready to head out. I love you."
"I love you too; call and let me know you got there safely."
"I will, bye," Johanna said quickly; hanging up the phone before her mother could say anything else.
Jim gave her a smile. "All set?"
"Yes, thank you," she said as she hooked the strap of her purse over her shoulder. "Did you get my briefcase?"
"It's in the back with mine, sweetheart. I got everything. Do I need to bother to ask about your mother's call?"
Johanna scoffed as she stepped out of the apartment and locked the door. "She wanted to remind me to do some planning while I'm away and to call and let her know we got there."
"That's probably not a good idea; she'll know you're settled and she'll lecture you for an hour."
"No, I'll just have you get me off the phone again," Johanna replied. "We'll consider that part of your husband training because you're going to need to do that at times."
"Do I get rewarded for it?"
"In most cases," she said with a nod; "It depends on how successful you are…and of course, I'll always return the favor and get you off the phone."
"That's good," Jim remarked; "Because I have a list of people I don't like to be on the phone with for more than five minutes."
"I need to learn that list…and we'll be extra thankful for our answering machine."
"Best present we ever bought ourselves," Jim quipped as they stepped onto the elevator. "It's going to be a life saver."
That night in Baltimore, Jim had the expectation of spending some quality time with his fiancée…quality time in bed that was since he felt like they still had some time to make up but as he stepped out of the bathroom in their room that night, he saw that Johanna was tucked into bed…bridal magazine in hand and wedding notebook and pen lying next to her. He frowned, that didn't look like the invitation he was hoping for…he should've told her to take a bubble bath…that had been good for her mood the other night. He suppressed a sigh…really it shouldn't have been a surprise; they had spent a few hours traveling…had settled into their respective rooms before she had joined him in his and did some work before a fast food dinner. She was probably tired…but wedding planning would only frustrate her and keep her awake and that was the last thing she needed. He probably should've said something the night before when he saw her packing her wedding magazines and notebook…but he hadn't had the heart…he had just hoped they'd stay in the bottom of the bag she had packed them in and she could let it go for a few days as she had hinted that she wanted.
"What are you doing, sweetheart?" he asked as he settled into bed next to her.
"Trying to figure some things out," Johanna replied. "You can pick what you want to watch on TV, I'm not paying much attention to it anyway."
Watch TV, Jim mused…definitely wasn't an invitation for romance…that was so off the table tonight he thought as he picked up the remote and began to flip channels.
"We need to figure out what colors we want to use," his fiancée remarked.
"Well…we already figured out which ones we don't want so…pick your favorite and go from there."
"We can't have red as one of our wedding colors," Johanna remarked.
"Why not?"
"Because my mother is still in that class of people who thinks red is the color of whores…and your mother thinks I am a whore…so yeah, definitely no red for the wedding."
"How about for the wedding night?" he quipped.
She smirked at him. "You want me to be a whore on our wedding night?"
"Only if you want to," he replied, a grin on his lips.
"Forget it; as most brides, I'll be wearing white on our wedding night…no whore fantasy for you…you can pretend I'm a virgin."
"That'll make your mother happy," Jim quipped; "After all, she was disappointed to find out that you weren't one…and that you have those evil birth control pills."
"Don't remind me," Johanna remarked. "Now for colors…I just don't know…pink seems to be a standard color for weddings…what do you think of pink?"
His nose wrinkled. "Makes it very girly…can't you throw in some blue with it?"
"Pink and blue?" she asked; "It's supposed to be a wedding not a baby shower!"
Jim glanced at her. "I don't know how to do this."
Johanna sighed deeply. "Neither do I," she said as she threw the magazine across the room in frustration. "I don't want baby pink either…or baby blue…or gag me yellow…or dull pale green. Why does there have to be a goddamn color scheme!" she exclaimed as she threw her notebook as well.
"Hey," Jim said gently as he got up and retrieved her notebook. "Don't lose your notebook…we have non-aggravating stuff in there like our moving plans and our honeymoon plans. We'll get it worked out," he told her as he tucked her notebook into her briefcase for safe keeping and then grabbed her magazine and tossed it on the table.
"It doesn't feel like it," she muttered. "I can't even pick a damn color."
He slipped back into bed with her as she rearranged her pillow and laid down. "You're pressuring yourself, babe," he replied as he mirrored her position. "Just let it go for a few days."
"I can't just keep letting it go for days!"
"Jo, relax," he told her once more. "You shouldn't have called your mother…in fact I specifically remember telling you not to call her."
"She would've worried if I didn't let her know I got here alright."
"I know…but then she started on the wedding stuff and it's stayed on your mind ever since. You're supposed to be getting a little break here, not stressing yourself out more."
"I know," she said as she scrubbed her hands over her face. "I'd just feel better if I could get something accomplished."
"Do you want pink as a wedding color?" he asked; "Because if you do, then it's fine…you know me, I don't care about the color…the wedding is for you."
"It's for both of us."
"It's primarily for the bride, sweetheart…the wedding night is for me," he quipped, patting her hip.
She smiled a little but it wobbled. "I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong."
"You're not…we talked about this; you're just overwhelmed right now. Like I said, if you want pink it's fine."
"I don't want that pale baby pink."
"There are other shades of pink," he remarked.
"I like the color of pink you always get me roses in…not that pale color…the deep pink that just pops against white roses they're mixed in with."
He nodded. "I know what shade you mean…that's a pretty color…it's not overdone. We could use that color."
"It has to have something to go with it…besides white because white is a given. We need two colors…I need you to find a color you like."
"Jo…I'm a guy, color schemes aren't really my thing."
"I know what you are, Jim," she huffed in annoyance; "And just because it isn't your thing doesn't mean you can't find a damn color somewhere that you like. Can you just do that one thing for me for this wedding? Pretend you're picking a new color to paint your car…what color would you want for that?"
"I don't know…she's always been blue so I'm not sure I'd stray from blue."
Johanna sighed deeply. "Can you just try to find me a color you like besides the blue of your car that maybe I can work with? Please?"
He nodded; seeing the frustration on her face. "Yeah; I'll find something, I promise."
"Even if it doesn't go with pink…we can always change the idea of pink…I just need a place holder…somewhere to start color wise…and I like the deeper bright pink."
"I'll try to find you some colors I like…but no matter what you pick it's going to be okay with me, I want you to know that."
"I know…but I just need your input…because it's for both of us, Jim."
"Okay," he replied; "I'll try harder for you…I promise."
She moved closer, her forehead brushing against his as they laid side by side. "I'm not turning into one of those crazy brides…I promise."
"I know," he smiled; his lips skimming against hers. "You just want to go home with something accomplished so you can tell your mother you did some of the planning while we were away. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Everyone just has me convinced that I've done nothing," she murmured.
"That's not true. We picked the date; you got the church reserved; we have our wedding party worked out. We have a rough draft of the guest list, we know where we're going for our honeymoon and I've got things in motion for that to be taken care of; I'm supposed to go see the travel agent when we get back to see what all options she has for us. I think we have a good start."
"Do you know all the things we don't have?" she asked quietly. "We don't have a place for the reception, we don't have a caterer, we don't have music, we don't have flowers, we don't have a cake, we don't have dresses or suits…we don't have invitations, we don't have…"
"Stop," Jim said, laying a finger against her lips. "We'll get those things."
"We've only got five months, Jim. I've got five months…to pull this whole thing together."
He smiled. "Sweetheart, I've seen you pull a lawsuit together from scratch in under a week before the court date. You've got this…I know you do…you just need to know that you do."
"That's the problem," she said, tears filling her eyes. "I don't think I do."
"You're being too hard on yourself. It's going to be fine…I promise. Just relax, okay? Try to put it from your mind for the rest of the night. We'll find something to watch and just unwind…we've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."
"I know," she sighed. "It might come to the point where I have to take time off just to plan the wedding."
"I'm not sure that idea would work out…we have our honeymoon time blocked off…and you said you'd probably need some of your personal days leading up to the wedding for last minute details."
"You could've just let me have the idea for the night," Johanna remarked as she shifted away a little.
"I'm sorry," he murmured; his fingers reaching out and tracing the line of her jaw. "But we'll get it worked out. Let's just forget about it for tonight before you get anymore upset…I don't want you to be laying awake all night because of it; we have to be on our A game tomorrow."
"I know, you're right," she replied. "Find something for us to watch…and I'll try to just let it go for awhile."
"That's the best thing to do," Jim said, brushing a kiss against her lips.
She managed a smile for him but she couldn't help thinking it was all easier said than done. She just had to get something accomplished while she was in Baltimore…she just couldn't go home empty handed.
To be continued…