For one hopeful second I thought my letter might just fall into the lake. If only it could have had a quick death, let the water wash away my words before any eyes could catch a glimpse. But just as my letter came fluttering back to earth, a gust of wind swept it upwards.

I ran after it like a mad woman. From a distance I probably appeared to be doing a strange dance: changing direction after only a few steps and weaving in and out of the poor tourists, all the while staring up into the heavens. I wasn't the most graceful person either and know my elbows jabbed a few people. At least I didn't knock anyone over.

Finally the breeze blew in one, steady direction away from the lake. Unfortunately the gust was also strong enough to carry it out of sight in a instant. Frantically, I dashed blindly in it's direction. As I reached the top of a giant hill, a horrible nauseating feeling hit me hard. For once it wasn't my nerves but terrible hunger pangs. I had been so preoccupied this morning that I left home without grabbing something to eat again. This was another reason why I remained so unattractively thin.

Out of the corner of my eye, something fluttered, something with purple ink. It cascaded down gently to a resting spot just yards away. I slide down the hill. So focused I was on the letter that I didn't realize people were sitting on the grass very close it. These people were three boys all from my school: Iggy, Park and Peapod kid.

Without thinking twice, I ducked behind a bush. I peered through a hole to see they were all looking at weird foreign sport magazines with practically naked girls on it. Ugh, boys can be so revolting! Then I spotted my letter. It had landed atop a stack of travel books, which looked relatively untouched. The boys were so engrossed with their stupid magazines that they were oblivious to their surroundings. I could just run over, grab my letter and be gone before they knew could register what had happened. Piece of cake!

But as a attempted to stand up, my knees locked. A cold sweat broke out on my brow. What if they see me when I stand up? What if they aren't so oblivious? What if they grab my letter before I get there? What if I trip?

"I don't know about you guys but I could use a sandwich," said Park, tossing aside his magazine.

Dammit Pataki, I cursed myself in my head. My window of opportunity had slammed shut.

"Good call."

Iggy had tossed his magazine aside too, this one landed atop my letter. He carelessly stuffed his belongings into his messenger bag, remaining unaware that sandwiched between Travel Italia and his atrocious slut magazines was my letter. My letter meant only for the eyes of one particular boy with a distinctively shaped little head,so full of optimism and nativity it made my heart swoon and blood boil at the same time- I must get it back!

I followed behind as closely as possible, constantly ducking behind bushes, trash cans, or anything large enough to conceal me. I really hoped I didn't look as creepy as I felt. All the while I was trying to piece together a plan, but honestly I had nothing.

Finally they boys turned into a restaurant.

"You've got to be kidding me"

They walked into Gino's Pizzeria. I'd worked at Gino's late last spring, around the time when things between Arnold and I had gotten difficult. He was planning his summer vacation abroad while I became insecure about him being gone all summer, especially since he had told Lila that they were still seeking volunteers if she was interested. The nerve he had! Needless to say, my emotional break downs took a toll on my work. My last day I threw a pizza in a guy's face after he complained it was "too cold." Of course he then screamed that I burned him. I was lucky charges never got filed.

I crouched behind the gumball and toy machines at the entrance. "Ok Helga, old girl, think! There's gotta be a way to infiltrate this pathetic excuse for a restaurant.. But how?"

"Ok, just yous three?" said a girl with the most obnoxious Staten Island drawl.

I recognized that voice. It belonged to Tiffani, a short, chunky girl with a deep orange tan and long, fuchsia extensions. We had worked together often during my stint here. She was in her mid twenties but acted years younger than I. As much as I disliked the girl, I did enjoy working with her. I mean with her awful taste in guys and pounds of make-up she wore, she really made me feel better about myself. I don't even think she graduated high school yet. She was always going on about finishing her GED, but I guess between all the tanning and partying she just couldn't find the time.

I crept towards the hostess stand, making sure Gino wasn't in sight. Tiffani seated the guys to my far right by a window. She glanced my way before saying something to the boys. I wouldn't be surprised if she hit on all of them. She made her way back to the front without looking at me directly.

"Hello, ma'am just one—Oh.."

Tiffani set down the menu she had picked up. Arms crossed and smacking her chewing gum loudly, she waited for me to explain myself.

"Tiffani, old pal, how's it going?" I said a little too enthusiastically.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing here? You don't want Mr. Berget to think twice about pressing charges."

"Look, I need a favor," I said flatly, glancing over at the guys, "and don't ask why I just need you to do it. Got it?"

She smirked and turned her attention to her nails. Apparently I wasn't interesting, not next to her ratchet nails. She was missing a talon on her left thumb. Good God, how does she even use her hands with those things? She turned away to walk back over the her table. Feeling desperate, I knew what I had to do.

"Look, it's-um- you see there's th-this guy," I stammered, emphasizing the last word.

She stopped dead in her tracks. Gossip was the best way to reel her in.

Turning around and with a brand new expression, she said, "A boy, huh?

"Look, that boy you just sat, the one in the purple shirt with the funny glasses, he has s-something of mine, something so painfully embarrassing, I need it back."

Tiffani just stared at me blankly now playing with her gum. I should have known I couldn't expect her to think of anything. Then an idea cam to me.

"Why don't you let me work your table?"

She raised her painted on brow.

"Yeah, it's perfect! I'll just pretend to work here, and when they're not looking I'll steal back my letter. I still remember everything, really. Look just give me your apron.. I'll let you keep the tip!"

I was practically grovelling. Tiffani twirled the gum around her finger, staring off into space. She was either being a total bitch or just really slow. Then suddenly she popped the gum back in her mouth, undid her apron and thrust it into my hands.

"Here you go, sweetheart."

I tied it around my waist, feeling in the pockets nervously for the order pad and pens. It had been months since I waited tables and with so much at stake I couldn't help my nerves. Sweat dripped down my nose and I realized I still was wearing my hat. I tore it off, tossing it on the hostess stand. I finger combed my hair in attempt to look groomed, but there was no denying I looked a mess.

"C'mon," Tiffani said lazily, walking me over to the boys.

You can do his Helga ol' girl, I told myself. Just focus.

"Boys, this is Helga, she'll be taking care of you today."

Iggy, Park and Peapod kid looked up in unison. Peapod kid retained his usual cool composure, but Park and Iggy seemed entertained by this turn of events.

"No way," said Park. "Haven't seen you in ages, Pataki."

"I thought I heard you got fired?" mused Iggy, lowering his frames in an inquisitive manner.

How he knew that I couldn't say. What I did know was that I had to resist the urge to smack those stupid glasses off his face.

"Oh, just a misunderstanding!" I said trying to sound nonchalant . "So, um-uh..."

"Helga's gonna take you guys in her section," Tiffani cut in, throwing me a testing glance.

Immediately I began collecting the menus and silverware.

"Oh, but we wanted to sit by the win-" Iggy started.

Tiffani picked up his bag before letting him finish. Defeated Iggy and the guys got up to follow me. I glanced back at Tiffani, but she offered no more help. It was all on me now.

"Looks like I'm needed in the back," Tiffani proclaimed lazily, shoving the bag back into Iggy's hands. "Helga, be sure to get their Cokes."

I rolled my eyes. I had no time to pay her attention. Surveying the room, I needed to decide which table would give me best access to Iggy's bag and a quick getaway if things got ugly. A table close to the front seemed optimal, so I sat them there.

Remembering Tiffani said they order Cokes, I ran to the kitchen to get them. I managed to carry all three without a tray. I was never very good at balancing with them and really didn't want to start off by spilling drinks all over myself.

After I handed out the drinks I fished in my apron for my pad. Flipping it open, I was about to speak when Iggy cut in.

"We already ordered."

"Oh?"

"Yeah we're just getting the usual," Iggy said, as if I knew what that meant.

"Well, great," I said shoving the pad back into my apron.

If I wasn't really needed, then I'd have to create another reason to linger. Might as well get comfortable! I pulled up a chair next to Iggy and sat with the back facing the table. I crossed my arms over it and cocked my head towards him.

"So, how's your summer been?" I said in a sugary tone that didn't belong to me.

Iggy responded with a perplexed look on his face. If I had learned anything from Olga it was that a pretty face and sweet manner can get you far. Unfortunately for me not everyone found my tomboyish looks attractive, nor was I authentically sweet or charming. Hell, I didn't even have cleavage to fall back on, so I was really going out on a limb.

"I spent most of it in Shanghai, just got back last week," Park interjected.

"Oh?" I replied leaning forward.

I slipped my hand under the table feeling around carefully. Park went on about his trip, but I don't recall much. I was so preoccupied with appearing interested and feeling around for the bag that I wasn't internalizing anything he was saying.

"My cousin Ming plays on a minor league team, so I went to the games like every week."

I nodded attentively while my hand grazed Iggy's chair leg.

"Their soccer leagues are a lot better than ours."

"Yeah, I bet!"

I finally grabbed ahold of something, unfortunately it wasn't the bag but Iggy's knee.

"Whoops, I -uh- meant to-to tie my shoe lace!"

I jumped down before anyone could react. The bag was on the other side of Iggy leaning up against the table's center support. I reached forward but my fingers just brushed the shoulder strap. I leaned in, about the grab it-

"Helga, order's ready!" called Tiffani.

Startled, I banged my head against the table and tumbled backwards. I jumped up, doing my best to play it off. I ran to the kitchen, fuming with anger and embarrassment. I was glad not to see Tiffani in the back, or I may have lost it. I took the pizza to the boys without a word. I dashed back to the kitchen to think, plus my stomach growls were reminding me I still hadn't eaten today. I needed to stuff my face fast.

There was always pizza sitting it the back next to the last oven. We had been allowed to eat food that was overcooked or made wrong. Today someone had "burned" a hawaiian pizza. I grabbed three slices and inhaled them.

Think, Helga, or else those three idiots are gonna leave and all of this was for kaput.

I made my way back to their table, surprised to find them finished. My heart stopped. I hadn't even brought the check, and Iggy was already putting money on the table. I guess that's what happens when you're a regular.

"You guys didn't want anything else?" I asked hopefully.

"Nah, we're gonna head out," Iggy said before taking a final swig from his Coke.

Panicking, I decided to just let my adrenaline lead me.

"Another?" I asked, but it wasn't as much of a question.

I snatched the glass from his hand before he could say anything. I couldn't hold them much longer and needed to think of something fast. They were already standing up to leave. I dashed over and practically ran into Iggy, spilling Coke all over him and his bag. All three boys stared in disbelief.

"Opps!" I exclaim dramatically, "How clumsy of me! Here let me get that for you!"

I grabbed his bag, but Iggy tugged back.

"It's fine Helga," he growled.

"No, I insist."

"I said it's fine."

He ripped the bag from my grasp and slung it over his shoulder, still dripping. He turned away without a word. The other two stared at me. Park gave a weak wave before heading out.

I waited until they were out the door before making my way over. I peered out the entrance to see that they parted ways. Iggy must be heading home.

"Ok that didn't work but I can't give up," I said to myself "I must get that letter!"

"Hey," called Tiffani's voice.

I ignored her. I remembered that Iggy stayed at the Palace Apartments up the street.

"Ok, I there'll probably be security at the front desk, but maybe I can just slip the doorman a 20-"

"Heeeelga!"

"If not I can sneak in-WHAT?!"

I turned to see Tiffany holding my letter. My jaw dropped, I couldn't believe it. I walked over, my mind buzzing. Just as I was about to grab it though, she whirled around.

"Who's Arnold?" she teased.

"None of your beeswax, sister," I hissed, finally snatching the letter from her.

"Wait- Is he that blonde boy that came by to see you a few times?" she said "He's cute, hope you didn't that one go..

I shook my head, still confused by this

"When-how did you get it?!"

"When you moved their table," she said plainly.

My smile faded and my realization of the situation became clear. She had grabbed Iggy's bag, and I was spazing out too much to notice.

"You mean to tell me that this whole time I was busting my ass, making a complete fool of myself, you already had the letter?"

"Uh huh," she said lazily, blowing a large bubble.

My nails dug aggressively into my palms, fighting my urge to scream... At the same time a part of me couldn't help but be impressed.

"Pataki?!" bellowed a voice from the back.

Gino had just arrived. For a moment he stood there with a bewildered look on his face. He then proceeded to make his way to the front. The look on his face said it all: he was going to chase me out if needed.

"Bye, hun," Tiffany laughed.

I flashed her a genuine Pataki grin before darting out the door. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

I raced the entire way home, fueled by a mix of euphoria from my nightmare being over and fear that Gino was still chasing me. I burst through the front door and made it up the stairs without stopping. I wanted to mail this damn thing before I could change my mind.

I found Arnold's address on the back of a postcard he sent me. It was nothing to get excited over, he barely strung together a sentence: Helga, I hope you're summer's been great! Arnold

I hated generic letters. Word was that he sent one to almost our entire class, too. I tried to push these unpleasant feelings away as I wrote his address, then my address and pressed the stamp in its place. I looked down at it. I groaned and let myself fall foreword. My head landed on the desk. I didn't realize how tired I was until now...

I jumped back in my seat with a start. It's dark. The only light came from my clock, which read 8:30 PM. I must have fallen asleep, but it doesn't feel like time has passed. I reached foreword and yanked the lamp chord. A yellow glow illuminated around me. My hand was resting on my letter. I stood up, snatching it.

I made my way down the stairs and out the door. Street lights line the sidewalk. I love the nighttime. There's no one in sight; I have the street to myself. The only sound came from a small bar down the street. Music ranged from respectable jazz bands to drunken karaoke singers. Tonight was an electronic show. Sid was a regular there, sometimes Arnold and I would stop by the hear him DJ. At least we used to...

I walked up to the mailbox for our street. I looked at my letter than opened the slot. I looked at my letter again and then the mail box. I stood there more a good five minutes motionless, just listening to the music. I hoped the music would distract me and I could unconsciously drop in the letter. Rather I just stood there, staring off into space.

"Ciminy," I muttered.

I walked the few paces over to my stoop. I sat down and buried my face in the letter.

"Damn you," I whispered.

I leaned back against the concrete railing. I watched the lights from the bar dance on the street. The synth picked up. I close my eyes as heavenly voice filled my ears and rocked my core.

Forever in my mind
Only you
The pieces in my life

Go away with you

Forever in my mind
Only you
The pieces in my life

Run away with you

You were my first love
You were my first love

(Yuna- Lullabies (Adventure Club Remix)