A/N: Enjoy! And please please please review :)
Bursting into the oncology office without warning, House throws himself down onto the sofa and lets his cane clatter dramatically to the floor; thunder evident at his brow.
"I'm sorry, do you have an appointment?"
Wilson asks without looking up from his notes.
"Convulsions, respiratory problems and a septic rash..."
"You realise your office is the next one along, right?"
"Oh, and swelling of the tongue, let's not forget our newest symptom."
"...Wherein you have an entire team trained for just this situation..."
"Foreman and Thirteen are in the labs, Taub's running trace, Kutner's in the clinic, and not one of them has offered up a useful suggestion for the past twenty-four hours. The best advice I've received so far came from the fucking wombat of all people down in the locker room- 'get a drink and go home'- and the day I start following Chase's suggestions is the day I...I... Fuck it... Make your own analogy. It's not happening."
Lowering his pen with a sigh, Wilson leans back in his chair and regards his old friend somberly.
"Septic rash and swelling could indicate an allergic reaction."
"Well, if it isn't Boy Wonder, saving the world one obvious suggestion at a time."
"It's not my speciality."
"Just imagine she's losing her hair and sporting a lump here or there."
"You know who you should be asking..."
"Yes, the patient, but she's not in a position to talk right now. Which, ordinarily is the state in which I like them best, but-"
"-If you want a second opinion on an allergic reaction, go and find Cameron."
"Why, so that she too can tell me what I already know?"
"It's her speciality."
"She won't know anything I don't."
"... Which is why you're asking an oncologist about swelling of the tongue..."
"Could be mouth cancer."
"... I'm not even going to justify that with a biopsy."
Wilson retorts, shaking his head and returning to his paperwork.
"Go and ask Cameron, House. You could barely stay away from her the other day, let alone shut up about her."
"Oh god, not this again..."
House groans irritably, a small flicker of anger igniting within him yet again at the troublesome blonde, but he dismisses it in favour of glaring at Wilson, picking up his cane, and dragging it across his friend's desk as he leaves; sending papers cascading onto the floor.
Limping away from a rather distraught looking Thirteen, House yells over his shoulder for the young brunette to get changed and switch shifts with Kutner; Hadley's pristine doctor's whites splattered with blood sent spraying up at her from a ruptured cyst. Yet another curiosity to be added to their patient's growing list of symptoms.
Cane thudding dully on ammonia-smelling linoleum, he heads in the direction of the ER without really thinking about it.
The windows that line the corridor allow deep indigo to bleed though slanted blinds; the hour late and the hustle and bustle of the hospital at a thankful minimum. Even the ER- when he makes his way through the large double doors- is fairly quiet at this time of night. Glancing over at a young nurse in the corner, he recognises her as Nancy What's-Her-Name and moves over to inquire Cameron's whereabouts; not spotting her amongst pastel-pink scrubs.
"Allison? I think she's in the break room."
Nodding and offering a grunt of thanks, House heads towards the back of the room; pondering the fact that no matter how long he's known her, he will never think of the blonde by her first name.
Entering the break room, he experiences a moment's discomfort as this is a realm he rarely frequents. It is odd to him; finding the blonde hanging around in this strange room, making coffee and chatting to staff he has never met.
And chatting fairly animatedly at that.
Standing unnoticed in the doorway, he runs his fingers over the handle of his cane pensively as he watches the interactions between the young doctor and a male nurse who sits perched on a coffee table in the corner. Cameron has removed her scrubs- presumably off the ward for the time being, working a split shift- and stands leant over the back of the sofa; her elbows crossed beneath her breasts to support her as she laughs at something her colleague says, rocking her hips slightly from side to side.
She wears plain grey slacks which hug her ass pleasingly in her current position, and a black woollen sweater House recognises due to a curious zip detail at the nape... Recognises, and knows the front of which to be cut in a surprisingly low V for the blonde's tastes; explaining the restless flickering of the nurse's eyes as he looks up at her.
She makes some inane comment regarding nylon stockings which has her colleague barking with laughter; wolfish grin suggesting a salacious inside meaning to her words, and House doesn't need to be able to see the blonde's face to know that the tip of her tongue will be poking teasingly between her teeth.
He is unable to say why this knowledge irritates him the way that it does.
"As great a view as it offers, you really shouldn't be standing that way so soon after surgery."
Pale curls tumble as Cameron spins around at the sound of House's voice; a low hiss at a twinge of pain caused by this sudden movement supporting his warning as to taking it easy on her hip.
"But then, weren't we recently discussing that you might have tastes of a kinkier nature? If bondage isn't an issue, maybe a little helping of pain as you stand so prettily bent over is just the ticket? Tell me, does it make you scream when-"
"-What do you want, House?"
She interrupts him angrily, though he is pleased to note a slight blush colouring her cheeks as she crosses her arms over her chest and attempts to pull off an icy glare. He is less enamoured with the raised brow and assumptive grin the male nurse offers her; brown eyes roaming over the blonde without shame. Catching House looking at him, the nurse offers him a knowing smirk which has the greying doctor struggling to resist the urge walk over to the table and cave the man's head in with his cane. Turning back to Cameron, he continues to chomp at the bit; never mind whether she had actually meant to offer it to him or not.
"What will twenty dollars get me?"
He expects a flustered cry of outrage, but instead, she regards him levelly; green eyes cool and thoroughly unimpressed.
"It'll certainly get you a repeat of last night..."
Imagining his eyebrows are raised just as high as those of the spluttering man in the corner, he coaches his features swiftly to form a smirk, cocking his head to regard her curiously.
"Oh?"
"Sure; you can sleep on the sofa on your own."
"Oh, dude, that's cold."
Both doctors turn to face the grinning nurse with equally disgruntled expressions; House eyeing him with open revulsion, while Cameron assumes a bizarrely authoritative pose and gestures towards the door with a nod of her jaw.
"Don't you have rounds to make, Tristan?"
"Not for another ten min-"
"-I think you should maybe start them a little early."
She suggests with bizarre sweetness, and the young man offers House one final glance before nodding and pushing himself up from the table.
"Good idea. Catch you later, Allie-... Dr Cameron."
Watching her colleague hurry from the room, the blonde turns to her old boss and assumes a frown.
"What's with the look?"
She demands; House's eyes bright with humour as he regards her with an odd little smile.
"You're bossy in the ER!"
He replies gleefully; taking in her foreign 'I'm not in the mood to take any shit' stance appreciatively.
"Yeah... Well... He's beneath me, and-"
"-Ah, that explains why that got so awkward-"
"-professionally beneath me, and that was an entirely inappropriate comment."
"I see... Kind of like you insinuating you share a bed with me most nights..."
"Or like you insinuating that I'm a sexually deviant masochist!"
"Are you?"
"...That's going to cost you a lot more than twenty dollars to find out."
Despite her deepening blush, she grins cattily, sensing victory as House is momentarily unable to mask a surprised bark of laughter; his eyes on her wide and openly impressed.
"Do you take Amex?"
"What do you want, House?"
"Do you know 'around the world'?"
"House!"
"Septic rash and swollen tongue."
"... God, I hope those aren't more requests..."
"Convulsions with a diminishing interim period and respiratory difficulty."
"Conscious?"
"Sporadically."
"Did you get her allergy tests back?"
"Some. None of them conclusive."
"Okay. Give me a minute, I'll meet you in the labs."
"Fine."
Watching the blonde move over to the sink to wash up her mug, House frowns, addressing her with a careful lack of emotion.
"And, Cameron... Don't-"
"-Tell Wilson you asked me? Wouldn't dream of it."