"Kagamine, right?"

It's the fifth time the young woman at the desk has asked my name. I tell her that yes, my name actually is Kagamine Rin, and sit quietly with my hands in my lap.

The Administrations room is actually quite small - a woman with long blonde hair sits at a wide desk directly opposite the door, typing away at her computer. There's a few couches, one which Gumiya and I sit, as far as possible from each other. Gumiya's hunched over in his seat, silvery-gray headphones playing some slow song that I can just barely hear. He seems a bit like the shy type, although I suppose I'm not any better, either.

I think the word for this kind of situation is awkward, though I guess I might be a little misinformed.

"Rin... Kagamine Rin."

I look up. The woman looks perplexed as she chews on one bunny-ears-patterned nail. She looks to be the nervous type - her nails are manicured, but it's clear that she bites on them quite a bit.

"I'm afraid..." She clears her throat. "I'm afraid you're not on our database. Or our lists - nowhere."

"What?" My voice is soft and whispery, too small for the woman to hear. "I'm there. My mother enrolled me here."

The woman looks helpless as she swivels her screen to show me the list of students in Vocaloid Academy. I see Miku on the list, and some of her friends too - there's a Kasane, a Kagane, but no Kagamine. No Rin.

"I - " My fingers twitch uncontrollably and I ball them into fists to try and stop and stop the trembling. "But I know that I'm supposed to be here! Mother - mommy said that she couldn't come today because of work, but - "

My knees give way and I plop back onto my place on the couch, heart suddenly thrice its normal speed, my heartbeat hammering in my ears. What's wrong? What's wrong? Something has gone wrong, but what? Am I - did I do something wrong?

Will they kill me?

I'm shaking, I can feel it - my bow jiggling around, hair rustling around my ears, legs jerking hysterically as I desperately try to think. What's wrong? Mommy enrolled me here, I'm sure - is there something wrong? DId they do - something? I'm flushing, I can feel sweat dripping down my back, and to my horror my vision starts to grow hazy and distorted as unwanted tears pool up in my eyes.

Just - I don't want this, I don't want to go back to -

"Hey..."

I freeze. Not physically - my mind goes blank while my body continues to shudder. But I sense Gumiya standing over me, can picture his... disturbed expression as -

"I'm sorry!"

I jump to my feet, grab anything of him - which happens to be his sleeve - and drag him to the door, savagely gulping down my sighs. Gumiya instinctively stiffens and flails around, trying to keep himself from being shunted out of the Administrations room.

"Hey!" He yelps as I push and he leans back and almost falls. "What are you - what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry!" I continue with my pushing; I can be quite strong when I want to. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Out!"

Gumiya trips over his sneaker laces and falls haphazardly on the ground outside. I slam the door, turn the lock until it clicks, then lean against it, breathing a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

"The hell - ?" I can hear Gumiya getting back up, dusting himself off being banging on the door. "What's up with you?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I yell before taking a big, big breath. I manage a wobbly smile for the lady. "Can I please look at the list?"

She stares rather helplessly. "But... I've already looked over it - "

She must have made a mistake. She must've. Because I know that I'm on that list, that I'm supposed to be in this school, that this is all in order. Because I don't want to go back to Mr. K -

I snap my mouth shut in horror when I realize that I've been speaking aloud. I glance at the blonde woman and then give her my best pleading look.

"I - "

Gumiya pounds on the door again, muffled swearing mixing in with the steady thumps. The woman glanced at me, sighs, and lets me control her mouse and keyboard.

I scan the list.

I see Hatsune Miku. Megurine Luka. Gumiya. Ks? There is Kasane Teto, but no Kagamine.

"Rin, it's not that serious," the woman blabbers, going back on her words. "Maybe it's just a computer error, I'll check with..."

My head snaps up as I stare at her, my eyes practically crazed. But no, no, no, no no no no no it's not not that serious at all!

I moan. "No..."

Something sparks.

"Wha - " the woman steps back, rubbing her eyes.

I glance at my left hand, heart sinking about thirty miles under the earth as I notice the curl of gray smoke coming up from my wrist. I quickly rub it against my shirt, smothering the smoke.

Perfect.

I can barely think, I want to cry but can't due to the fact that I might cry oil, and something, anything, everything's gone completely wrong and I -

"Luna?"

Someone knocks on the door.

I jump. "Please don't - "

The woman gets up, hair swishing around crazily. I try to grab onto her sleeve, but she doesn't even notice as she hurries across the room and pulls open the door. It's at times like this that I wish I was taller or even able to use my strength properly.

Instead, I squeak and tumble off the chair and under the table. It's very roomy, seeing as Luna's table is huge, and I curl right up, hugging my knees and burying my face in them. Funny how old habits die hard like this.

"Al, I d-don't know what to do..."

"Leave Rin with me, Luna. Go and tell Miriam that she needs to okay the list for Kagamine Rin before it updates."

It's a man's voice, deep and rich, rumbling through the room. Oddly familiar. He sounds incredibly calm as he instructs Luna and strolls over, knocks on the tabletop.

"Rin?"

I stay quiet.

"Rin, it's me. Meiko's penguin friend."

My eyes widen as I make the connection that's been nagging be since I heard him speak. Mommy speaks to him sometimes, pressing her phone to her ear until the back of it gets charcoal-hot. Sometimes I get to say hi, too. And the first time I saw him, I asked him what it was like to live in the south pole. I'd been learning about animals then, and - and well, I was a bit less cautious.

I crawl out from under the table.

The man is big, big, big. Brown-haired, golden-eyed. He looks to be in his thirties, although the laugh lines around his face are quite obvious. Other than looking like a penguin, I did think that he looked a bit like mommy before. He seems to have cut his hair since our last meeting, and the similarity is a little less obvious, but it's still there.

"Hey, Rinnie." The man pulls over a couch and plops down in it, making the polka-dotted couch creak ominously. "Feeling a little nervous?"

Is the man trying to make me laugh? I just had what some people might call a mini-nervous breakdown. This man is clearly the thick type.

I nod, though. Mommy has taught me to be polite. "Why am I not in the list?" My throat feels hot and I'm afraid I might puke. "Mommy said that - "

The man waves raises his hands in a placating gesture. "Relax. Miriam, the headmistress of this school, is a little..." He pauses. "Hopelessly hostile with computers."

I blink.

"In short, she messed up when entering your name. Y'know, you were something of a last-minute applicant, and Miriam just didn't know how to do it. But it's all fine; you're enrolled in this school, don't worry." The man grins. "I haven't introduced myself, have I? You probably know me as the penguin man, but the rest of the world calls me Big Al. You can probably guess why, can't you?"

Big Al talks a lot. But it's helping me calm down, so I smile shyly and nod. "What should I do now?"

"Well..." Big Al gets up, heaving his bulk off the couch. "I'll bring you over to Ann."

I blink, puzzled.

"Ann, Sweet Ann," he says, as if it's supposed to be a joke. "She's my wife, and she oversees the auditions for piano and sometimes, choir. You're applying for both, right?"

Nod.

"Good, then," Big Al swings the door open, long legs carrying him out and away in a matter of the few moments that I remain crouched next to the table, hesitating.

But what can I do, anyway? He may be the only ally I have in this school, or at least, the only ally capable of helping me. And allies are important, if mostly temporary; mommy's lessons must always be remembered.

I push myself to my feet, dash after the penguin man, then whirl back as I barely remember to close the door behind me.

"Rin! Shit - "

The grounds not flat, it's tripping me, the ground approaches way to fast - and out of the corner of my eye I see Big Al turning, eyes wide, a snatch of green and black - then my chin smashes into the ground and I manage to let out a quiet, pathetic little shriek.

"Are you... Oh, lord - "

I've heard that voice before, I've heard it - but my chin hurts, it feels like something's poking into my nerves or something, and all I can do it clutch my chin and try to block everything out. Eyes pressed tightly shut, bringing my limbs in and curling into a little ball...

- déjà vu -

And someones tearing my hands away from my chin, someone' rolling me onto my back and bright light stings my eyes when I open them, just a little bit.

"She just fell, just fell - "

That voice - it's Gumiya's, I realize with sudden clarity. Of course, I'd rudely pushed him out of the office, and he'd probably been close; he'd seen me fall, bang my chin -

Fall?

I sit bolt upright, eyes snapping wide open. I fell?

I'm sitting in front of the door, still half-open. Big Al is crouching to my right, Gumiya bent over but with his knees not quite bent. My lip stings, and I realize that my hands are red and that I've got blood on the floor.

"I'm - " I whisper, but my voice cracks. Why did I fall?

Gumiya glances down at me, and his blue eyes are so sharp that I feel a desperate need to crawl out of sight. He is angry at me, isn't he? I should apologize.

"I apo - "

But that's as far as I get, as Gumiya suddenly loses all interest me and straightens, turning to face Big Al. "Do I need to go get the nurse?"

The large man turns to face him, face pale but his expression calm. "Yes, but can you get some tissues from the bathroom first?" He pauses. "You know where it is, right?"

Even though my head's all bleary and confused, I understand that Big Al is asking him, Even though you're knew, you can find the way around here, right?

Gumiya gets it. "I've been coming here with my cousin enough times to get familiar with the layout." And with that, he's gone, long legs carrying him off before I can have another try at my apology. I slump, leaning on the ground before I realize that it's filthy and splattered with my own blood.

It's too familiar a feeling, yet I'm unaccustomed to all this - people, kids, teachers, doing something all by myself while staying on the lookout -

" - Rin?"

I look up.

Big Al looks almost as scared as I am now that Gumiya's gone, but he smiles and his former confidence and good cheer returns. "Let's get you up. C'mon, the chairs in the lobby are much more comfortable than the ground."

I blink and nod, push myself onto my feet. He helps me over to one of the plush leather couches. Too late, I realize the problem. "Blood - "

"That's alright," Big Al pats my head and his hand is so heavy that my knees give way and I plop onto the couch. "Just don't drip purposefully. Gumiya will be back in a sec."

And true to his words, Gumiya is soon back, in his particular gait that's neither walking or running but somewhere in between, as if he is in a hurry but does not want to show it. He's carrying a load of tissues which I take with caution.

"I didn't dip them in the toilet and dry them," says Gumiya, his voice a near-silent grumble. With that, he heads off again, presumably to get the nurse.

I quickly make good use of them, wiping the blood and tears - I didn't even know I'd cried - from my face.

"Do you want me to call your mother?" asks Big Al. "Or go home? If you're so tired that you're tripping over nothing, I don't think you should be - "

I shake my head vigorously. "It's fine, thank you."

Big Al looks at me critically. "Are you sure?"

I nod so fiercely that my head hurts.

The large man looks a little perturbed, but he nods back. "But if the nurse tells you to go home or call your mother, trust her judgement."

I hesitate. I don't want to worry mommy yet - she was worried to death even before I stepped out of the house. I barely managed to convince her to let me walk to and from school alone, and I do not doubt that if she hadn't accidentally knocked over the television in the living room as she rushed in the morning, she would have insisted on walking me anyway. No, I suppose I hadn't really convinced her. And if she was told that I'd been having panic attacks and been falling over nothing on my first day, she wouldn't allow me a full minute away from her medical instruments for at least a few days. She'd notice the cut on my chin, but that could be excused easily enough.

But I suppose I don't have any choice. I nod again, but this time slow and reluctant.

Big Al laughs. "You're holding up remarkably well. My son would've been screaming by now."

I blink. I believe this is a joke... But right now I'm confused and I'm not thinking clearly. "Is this... Exaggeration?"

The man's face falls and he looks incredibly sad for a moment. My breath catches in my throat; have I done something wrong? But he looks at me and smiles kindly. "A little. But Ollie is a bit of a crybaby. Teach him a lesson, eh, Rin?"

I don't want to teach him a lesson; I've learnt that when the sentence is phrased like that, there's always a fair bit of pain and sadism involved. So why is Big Al asking me to do such a thing?

But I nod, since there's nothing else to do.

Footsteps approach, and I look up to see Gumiya with a tall, dark-haired woman. She strides over, eyes cool and professional as her gaze skirts over the pile of bloody tissues on the cut on my chin.

"Not too serious, I hope," she says, voice mild and musical. "How do you feel?"

"All right," I manage.

"Specifically."

Big Al grins behind her and winks. "Mew, at least take her to the office before you start harassing her."

The woman promptly helps/pulls me to my feet and starts off in the direction she came in, ordering Big Al and Gumiya about in her calm, authoritative voice. Keeping a tissue pressed to my chin, I do my best to keep up with her long strides and not fall over again.

As she leads me through a short flight of stairs to the second floor, I look around and see hallways and doors and doors and doors.

I'm busy looking out of the corners of my eyes when I hear music. Singing, guitars, pianos - and even the steady beating of a drum comes from behind those doors.

I decide that this is a wonderful school. And I dare to hope I can stay here.

life. is. hectic. how the beep did it take me five months to get another chapter up? the next two chapters, however, are half-written right now so it should only take... say, a month to get them up. if I'm lucky. ashgklsagh I have trouble writing quickly.

also I kind of want to cry because this is so awkward and weirdly written. oh, well. enjoy, if you can! :DD