One Shocking Surprise: Slug Edition

By: Sheltie

I don't own Naruto at all

A/N: okay, I got this from a request by Shawn129.

Jiraiya was looking all over for Tsunade. She was supposed to be in her office, but wasn't there at all. Normally Shizune would be out looking too, but she was sick and was forced on bed rest to til she got better. So it was left to Jiraiya to do the searching. The Anbu was also looking, but they've come up empty handed in finding their Hokage. They needed to find Tsunade quickly before the other villages hear about this and think they can attack when Konoha is leaderless.

"Where can she be, I've checked every bar in Konoha?" the toad sage muttered under his breath as he leapt across rooftops.

He has checked every bar there was even in the red light district just to be sure. You never know. But he didn't see a blond hair or big boob anywhere. This was beginning to worry him since Tsunade could be hurt badly and maybe had no way of contacting them. Sure, she's the best medic in the world, but that didn't mean a thing when you're injured severely and possibly unconscious as well.

All these scenarios ran through his head. These kinds of things haven't been seen in the hermit's mind since the war. He shivered at all these horrid images and possible scenes. He was worried about his old teammate. Then a spark of an idea hit him.

Naruto.

He should go and tell him what's going on since the lad knows Konoha pretty well and could help him on the search. It had been a long time since he saw his apprentice any way and should probably say hi. Though this was kind of a bad time to do just that. But he veered off his course and headed to Naruto's apartment. He got there and frowned. He really needed to find a new place for his godson. The apartment complex was run down and about two shakes from being called condemned. But he shook those thoughts away. He'd do something about that later. He knocked on the door hoping the brat was home.

"What do you want, do you know what time it is?" Naruto asked as he opened the door.

Jiraiya saw his apprentice looked like he just got out of bed. His hair was an awful mess and he was only wearing a pair of boxers Jiraiya hazard to guess that the blond just threw on. Naruto's bare torso was nude to all who could see and it would've caused many women and girls drooling if they saw it.

"Huh, pervy sage, what are you doing here isn't a bath house open or something?" Naruto asked.

"Why do you still call me that name?" Jiraiya asked with a vain bulging from his forehead.

Naruto ignored his sensei. He was used to this reaction.

Jiraiya was about to rant some more then a whiff of something caught his nose. He knew this scent well after all of his years of travel. His nose was quite sensitive to certain smells now and this one made his nose twitch almost violently. It sent signals to his brain and it didn't take his brain too long to process them. His eyes widened then he got a perverted look on his face combined with a look of great happiness too. It was a scary look to say the least.

"You did it brat, you've become a man I am so proud of you. So who did you do? Was it that pink hair girl you always go on about? Wait, don't tell me, it was that shy Hyuga, she's always had a thing for you and I bet she's a beast in the sack. The quiet and shy ones are always like that. Believe me, I know" Jiraiya said giggling pervertedly as a bit of blood oozed from his nose.

Naruto opened his mouth, but Jiraiya cut him off before a syllable could be uttered.

"Wait, it was that weapons girl wasn't it. She's probably very kinky with all those weapons hidden on her person. I bet she can play hide the Kunai very well. Oh no, it was that Yamanaka girl, she has a nice figure I guess and you have spent a lot time at her family shop. No, it was that Suna girl that is the ambassador for Suna. She wanted to thank you for saving her brother, yeah that's it" Jiraiya said as he looked like a fortune teller with his hand waving about as he tried to guess who Naruto had slept with. All that was missing was the goofy looking outfit and crystal ball.

"What is that old pervert going on about now?"

This caused Jiraiya to freeze in position with his legs in a stance and his arms waving about. Because appearing at the door with Naruto was the last person he would expect to see there. It was Tsunade. She looked like a mess like Naruto. Her hair that was usually in a ponytail was askew, she was wearing just her robe, which didn't cover much to tell you the truth and it would be one movement and it would slip revealing all even with the robe tied in a quick fashion. The robe went down to cover just high thigh, which meant she was at most kind of decent.

"Well Jiraiya, what are you doing here?" Tsunade asked in a tone.

Now if Jiraiya's brain was working, that's if it was ever working. He'd have realized the tone Tsunade was using meant she was pissed and very close in sending Jiraiya flying with one of her fists. But Jiraiya's brain wasn't functioning. It seemed to halt and took moments to reboot, which sounded like an old computer being turned on. He immediately dropped to his knees bowing to Naruto.

"Oh great wise one, I am here to learn your ways. Please teach me" he groveled as tears streamed down his eyes.

Naruto and Tsunade looked at the pervert with confused looks. Just what was going through the hermit's mind to make him act like this.

"Um, pervy sage have you been huffing from some secret stash I don't know about?" Naruto asked.

"No oh wise one. I only wish to know how you were able to bed Tsunade. I wish to learn so I can go out and spread your holy message to the masses" Jiraiya said still on his knees and tears still coming down.

Naruto looked at Tsunade for help. She knew him longer. Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temples. Even out of the office she was getting a headache.

"So Naruto my boy. How was she? Was she a fiery lover, a gentle one, or maybe both?" Jiraiya asked.

He was off his knees now and a notebook in hand ready to write. His perverted gleam in his eyes was going overboard.

"How did she feel? Were they as soft and pillowy as they look? Was it amazing? How many times did you do it? Was she the dominant one or submissive? Was there any toys involved? Any role-playing going on? How does it feel to be to the envy of every man?" Jiraiya asked still bombarding Naruto with questions.

Tsunade clenched her fist and with a chakra-enhanced uppercut to Jiraiya's chin she sent the perverted hermit flying through the air.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed as he soared through the air.

"Well that takes care of that. Lets get back to that 'physical' you started with me last night. I think you missed some areas" Naruto said with a lustful glint in his eye.

"Yes, I think I did. And as a good medic they can leave no stone unturned. They must make sure their patient is healthy and in tip-top condition" Tsunade said in a husky tone as she licked her lips.

Naruto wrapped an arm around Tsunade's waist spinning them around so they were heading to his bedroom. His hand undoing the knot on the robe letting it fall away as he back kicked the door shut.

No one saw Tsunade for the rest of the day and Jiraiya was found early the next morning in a huge crater unconscious with a big perverted grin on his face mumbling 'I'm so proud' over and over.

End

A/N: well I'm finished with this idea. Hope Shaawn129 liked what I did with it. Please send me any other OSS ideas you have to me either in the review section or PM me. Thanks for reading and please review.