This chapter is Rated M - for lemons, scenes of decapitation and massacre.
side note: italics represent thoughts and dream sequence and emphasis on curses or elven words.
disclaimer: I do not own anything. =)
enjoy!
Chapter 20
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.
Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn't obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.
Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.
As the rain continued its tirade on the earth outside, blocking out all sounds and leaving them only in their heightened senses—senses that are slowly getting sensitized and only ever growing sensitive to each other. Every touch, every sigh, every sound only bringing them closer to each other. Getting addicted in eliciting reactions that neither were aware they could elicit and sensations neither knew they could feel.
Alex felt adrenaline and something warm run through her veins. She wanted this, her subconscious screamed at her. The hay felt surprisingly warm against her back, her eyes shut tightly as sensory overload slowly overwhelmed her. He had accepted her in her admission of being soiled, but would he truly accept her knowing she was already taken? A rush of panic engulfed her when his lips trailed down her neck, leaving a fiery trail of kisses from her neck to her shoulder sending delicious shivers all over her body. "Please, stop!" she burst out, and Legolas lifted his head at the sound of genuine panic in her voice. "I—I'm afraid," she admitted, and he knew instinctively how much that admission had cost the courageous girl who'd pitted her will against his for the last three days.
Too wise to laugh at her fears, he tried to make her laugh at them. "I'm a little afraid too," he admitted with a tender smile at her upturned face.
"You—you are? Why?" Genuine child like curiosity in her wide emerald eyes.
His voice was light, reassuring as he untied the ribbon at her bodice, exposing the satin globes of her breasts. "It's been a very long time." Dragging his gaze from them, he smiled into her eyes and slid her dressing gown off her shoulders. "Suppose I've forgotten exactly how it's done," he said with mock horror. " I gather, it's too late to ask someone how to go on, isn't it? I mean, I could summon Paul and ask him for advice, but I'd have to shout the problem at him in order to be heard, which would then wake everyone else and bring them running in here to see what the furor was about..."
Despite her misery, Alex couldn't suppress the giggle that rose in her chest, and she scarcely noticed as Legolas' fingers sent her dressing gown sliding down her body, landing in a pool of satin a few feet away. "That's better," he said huskily, deliberately keeping his eyes on hers and not her gleaming, naked body as he drew her into his arms.
"Legolas, I mean it." Sadness and regret in her eyes, When he inclined his head to ask her what she meant, Alex continued. "I meant what I said. I have committed the gravest of sins. If we do this, I want to be honest with you. I…this is not going to be my first time." Her voice quivered in anticipation of his rejection and anger. It was only warranted. Had she not angrily accused him of dallying with other women before their marriage? Whatever spiteful tirade he will spout now will only be reasonable seeing as she was guilty with dallying with other men while bound to him.
"I like it when you laugh, do you know that?" he continued ignoring her admission, trying to ease her sadness as he circled his arms around her once again. "Your eyes glow when you smile," he said, and tenderly but inexorably eased her back onto the hay, following her down.
Alex looked up into his mesmerizing blue eyes as he leaned up on an elbow, his free hand sliding gently up her midriff, then encompassing her breast while he slowly bent his head and took her mouth in an endless, drugging kiss that made her senses reel.
"I have not the care about what we did or did not do. I am done counting our transgressions. I want you in my life, melleth nin." He kissed her again and again and again, his hands shifting, tormenting, seducing until Alex lost all control. Moaning helplessly, she turned into him and kissed him back with all the suppressed longing of fifteen years. Her parted lips crushed his, her tongue darting into his mouth, her fingers tangling in the crisp, thick, long hair at his nape as she held his mouth to hers. And in her surrender she gained the victory, for this time it was Legolas who groaned and lost himself in the kiss.
Wrapping his arms around her, he rolled onto his back, taking her with him, his hands eloquent of his urgency as they raced over her satiny skin, his legs tangling with hers, his body slowly thrusting against her hips, telling her what he wanted.
A small fluttering in his mind, the softest of caresses and a whisper of touch started deep within him. It was her fëa. The fluttering moving and glowing, larger and larger just as the warmth slowly engulfed him making him explode with an emotion stronger than need. It was a feeling of possession, overpowering need to protect and cherish and own. It was love. Her fëa was calling out to him for love.
Somewhere in the fiery tumult of his mind, Legolas warned himself to slow down, but his body, starved for more than fifty years for her, would not listen to the commands of his will—particularly not when Alex was kissing his ear as he had kissed hers, sliding her tongue along the sensitive lobe... Shuddering with a need that refused to be denied any longer, Legolas rolled her onto her back, his hand sliding down between her thighs to the warm wetness that assured him she was ready for him.
"I'm sorry, love," he whispered hoarsely, cupping her bottom in his hands and lifting her hips to receive him. "I... can't... wait." His breath caught as he eased himself slowly into her incredibly welcoming warmth, careful lest he hurt her, then he stopped in agonized surprise when she suddenly turned her face away from him and two bright tears slid from beneath her long, curly lashes.
"Alex?" he whispered, his arms and shoulders taut with the effort he was exerting to control the pounding need of his body to be fully sheathed within her. Bracing himself on one forearm, he took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and firmly turned her face on the pillow. "Open your eyes and look at me," he commanded quietly.
Her tear-drenched lashes fluttered, and he stared into emerald eyes swimming with tears. "Am I hurting you?" he asked in disbelief.
Alex swallowed and shook her head, fighting down the wanton urge to plead with him to take her, to beg him to love her with his heart and his body, as she had been longing to do almost from the moment he stretched out beside her and took her in his arms. And that was why she was crying. In a few short minutes, his lovemaking had broken down every barrier she had erected against him, battered down her defenses and left her as weak and eager for him as she'd been as a naive girl.
"Love, what is it?" he asked, leaning down and kissing the tear from her cheek. "Don't you want me?"
It was the humble, boyish innocence of the question, combined with the tender endearment, that was her undoing. "Yes," she whispered, her voice quivering with undeniable conviction, gazing up into his eyes, seeing the passion he was fighting to restrain.
"Then why the tears?" he whispered.
"Because," she admitted in a fierce, suffocated little voice, "I don't want to want you."
A sound that was part groan, part laughter escaped him as he shoved his fingers into her luxuriant hair, imprisoning her face between his hands at the same moment he thrust himself full-length into her, plunging deep. Her hips arched spasmodically beneath him and Legolas lost all control. "I want you," he groaned hoarsely, withdrawing and then plunging again, deeper and deeper with each stroke, his heart swelling with joy as he felt his wife wrap her arms around his shoulders and surrender completely to his stormy desire: "I need you…so much," he gasped, "that I can't wait—"
Her nails dug into the bunched muscles at his back and her hips lifted and Legolas climaxed within her with a force that tore her name from his chest in an agonized gasp. With it a burst of something warm and a feeling of encompassing within her that Alex did not understand where it came from making her gasp, her eyes wide as she stared at his own, his eyes glowing blue in the dark light of the stall.
When he moved onto his side, he wrapped his arms around her, cradling her against him while he waited for his labored breathing to even out. Staring into the moonlit darkness beyond, he felt sanity finally return and with it came two stunning realizations: The first was that he had actually asked his own wife if she wanted him—like a small elfling pleading for favors.
Never in his entire life had he asked an elleth—woman if she wanted him. For that matter, never had he rushed one into bed so quickly as he'd rushed Alex tonight, nor had he ever spent himself so fast either. His pride rebelled at his performance tonight and his general lack of control.
Beneath him, Alex stirred and lifted her head, tilting it back on the hay so that she could see his face in the dimmed light, studying his taut jaw as he stared straight ahead, lost in thought. What was that that just happened? Feeling whole and stronger, like she could take on the world flowing in her veins, like adrenaline but something much more potent. Moving her eyes over him, she realized with a start that she was the only one who felt it. "You're angry?" she whispered, filled with disbelief and dismay.
Legolas tipped his chin down and smiled without humor. "At myself, not you."
"Why?" she asked, all lovely innocence and naked woman, her eyes searching his.
"Because I—" He shook his head and clamped his mouth shut. His heart felt like it would beat out of his chest. Was this what it felt like when one's fëa recognizes its own mate? Because I want you too much, he admitted angrily to himself. Because I lost control tonight. Because the simple touch of your hands on me makes me insane with wanting. Because you can make me angrier than anyone alive and because, in the throes of my fury, you can make me laugh. Because where you are concerned, I'm vulnerable. Soft...
His own familiar young voice shouted scathingly in his head: "You can't be soft and be a prince... A prince is hard, tough, invulnerable... A prince doesn't need to trust anyone but himself... We use women for pleasure but we don't need them... A prince doesn't need anyone."
Legolas shoved the memories from his head of his younger foolish self and forcibly reminded himself what a mockery that it is exactly with those thoughts and mindset that had pushed Alex away from him before. That his chance at love was almost lost. His tactless and senseless way of seeing the people around him almost cost him the most important person in his almost three thousand years.
Alexandria's soft, timid words drew him from his thoughts. "May I go to my own room now? I can see that I've somehow displeased you."
Unexpectedly, his heart wrenched at the thought of her believing that. "On the contrary," he said, grinning to hide the truth of his words. "You please me too much."
She looked so skeptical that he chuckled. "In bed, you please me," he clarified teasingly, smiling into her eyes. "Out of it, you infuriate me. I suppose the only solution," he huskily added as desire surged through him with renewed force, "is to keep you in here with me." Bending his head, he took her sweet lips in a deep kiss that soothed his raw emotions. He had made too much of everything associated with their lovemaking tonight, he decided. After all, this was the first time in his life since he turned a ripe elven age of fifty that he'd been without an elleth for more than a month, let alone an half a century. Ever since Alex disappeared, he had not the desire and energy to return to his whorish ways. Naturally at the moment, he'd been overeager, overemotional...
And this time, when he made love to her, Legolas lingered over her for hours, holding himself back while he guided Alex to peak after peak of trembling ecstasy, and then joining her there. His fëa recognizing her own and never letting go.
The rain had momentarily halted in its assault and dawn was already streaking the purple sky with wide pink slices when they made it back into the deserted hall and into her room where Legolas made love to her for the last time, and where Alex finally fell into a deep slumber perfectly safe and perfectly contented wrapped up in his arms.
Legolas couldn't sleep, even after Alex's own breathing evened out and even after the rigorous activity they had engaged beforehand. His mind was a jumbled mess. Would she return with him to Greenwood or would she rather return to her own world? Never mind what his father would think, or the elven society who had ostracized her. The people of Greenwood would rejoice immensely—in that thought his heart and fëa was celebrating. If this was what it felt like to have a mate then he was quickly becoming addicted to it. The pull was strong and the need unbearable. He could not leave her now. He would not be strong enough. Finally understanding the concept of 'fading' that elves speak about. If Alex dies, he now knows without a doubt he would surely follow.
As that thought floated in his mind, another thought struck him with grim sadness—she was mortal. She was going to grow old, while he will linger on. Far longer than she will. Fear like never before started to bloom in his heart, dread replaced happiness and contentment. How long will she have? Pulling her closer and encircling his arms around her, Legolas felt hopelessness started to settle in his gut. He was never meant to have her.
Running his hand over her smooth bare back, his eyes watching over her sleeping form. Feeling the warmth emanating from her skin and the soft sound of her breaths. He felt her body curved around his, one leg hitching up and a slender arm holding him in place. A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. That while awake she might try to deny him, her subconscious could not. Turning his neck and giving her head a kiss assuring her that he was there. A gust of cold wind wafted in from the open window and Legolas shifted, reaching on the floor for her nightdress, he dressed her while she remained peacefully oblivious.
Finally deciding that sleep will not come to him tonight, Legolas moved to stand, covering Alex and proceeding to change into his clothes, he took one last look at her before leaving the room. He would return to her once daylight comes. Alex will have questions and doubts for sure, but he vowed to be there.
It was sometime later that Aragorn joined Legolas on the steps to the golden hall, oblivious to the chill wind brought about by the pouring rain who decided to start again. They looked out across the sleeping city to the looming mountain range as dark clouds mark the sky.
Aragorn watched his friend in his peripheral and noted a sudden change in his demeanor. A shift that the ranger could not quite put his finger on. Suddenly it dawned on him what. His mind running with thoughts. His eyes widening at the realization that suddenly occurred to him. How could he have let this slipped past him? He should've known. He should have expected this was going to occur eventually. Sending Alex alone to the stables to speak to the elf. "Where's Alex?"
"Asleep." Without missing a beat. His eyes remaining focused over the vast terrain before them toward the growing evil beyond the mountains, the skies above it a forever hue of fire and decay.
"Mellon, "Aragorn's grim voice denoted of foreboding. Swiftly turning his head to watch Aragorn silently battle with himself, Legolas waited patiently. "There is something you should know about Alex…"
"Nothing I am not already aware of." Legolas' clipped tone surprising Aragorn. He had expected they would understand. It was uncommon for an elf to love a mortal. "But I expected out of all people that you would understand."
"Legolas, you misunderstand…"
"That a mortal and an elf could not be together? You and Arwen had seemed to fair well.." Legolas challenged, facing Aragorn fully and looking at him head on.
Aragorn bristled at his friend's statement, but refusing to baited into an argument, Aragorn stood firm and calmly continued. "Legolas, Alexandria is half elf."
Time seemed to stop for the second time that morning. Legolas' eyes bore down on Aragorn. "You jest." Confusion, anger and disbelief battled within him.
"Do I look it?" Aragorn's sharp tone cutting through the silent dawn. "Alexandria is Aemilia's granddaughter. That makes her the grand daughter of Lord Glorfindel from the house of princes."
"Aemilia…?"
"Arwen's sister. Do you realize that she is from the house of Rivendell and you do realize who Lord Elrond's wife is. Alex bares the seal of Imladris and Lorien combined."
"Where did you get this information? How long have you known this?"
"Gandalf spoke to me. On that first night after we found him in Fangorn. He swore me to secrecy but I..I know something happened tonight."
"Why haven't she told me?"
"She doesn't know. And you must not tell her."
"How can I not! She is my wife. You cannot ask me to keep this hidden from her."
"Aemilia hid the truth from her for reasons unknown to us. We need Aemilia when Alex finds out and she will, mellon. But we need Aemilia to tell her why."
Legolas opened his mouth to protest but his senses suddenly stood to attention. Snapping his neck to gaze over the still silent and dark horizon Legolas tired to decipher what the feeling of dread meant, the feeling of something dark and ominous lurking just beyond the shadows of his mind. His eyes locked on the rioting colors of fire over the mountains just beyond, "The stars are veiled, something stirs in the east . . . " Legolas uttered his gaze sharp sweeping over the still slumbering city. A sense of dread crawled up his spine, a ringing in his ears making him stand on alert but he could not identify the source. "A sleepless malice."
The rain poured heavily now, the sky lightning up in thunderous roar. Legolas looked at Aragorn in alarm, realisation on his face. "The eye of the enemy is moving—"
"Hey guys, have you seen Alex? I haven't seen her all night." Paul drowsily interrupted them, shivering as he stepped outside to join them.
Bewilderment crossed Legolas face as he regarded Paul, "She was in her room. She was deep in slumber when I left her."
Paul and Aragorn shared a knowing glance at the thought but Paul looked worried, "Are you sure? I was just there and her room was empty." This time Legolas and Aragorn exchanged panicked glances before they both sprinted towards Alex's room, the feeling of dread now mixed with fear growing rapidly and suffocating Legolas. Not her. Eru, please not her.
Paul followed in bewilderment but his steps matched their own. "Guys, what's going on?" His steps hurried as he followed both Aragorn and Legolas into Alex's room finding the bed in disarray and empty. Her slippers left unused on the floor. Where could she have gone?
"Get Gandalf." Aragorn's alarmed voice woke Paul from his daze realizing that something serious was happening, he left them to head towards their own quarters and proceeded to wake Gandalf.
"She wouldn't have gotten far. If she was taken, they wouldn't have gotten far." Aragorn tried to calm his friend down who had a murderous glint in his eye. Sprinting along the empty hallways, Aragorn and Legolas rapidly searched the Golden Hall. The Ranger was blessed with relief when he spotted Eomer and Eowyn. Both are already awake and had started to run Meduseld. "Something a matter?" Eomer's voice breaking Aragorn from his frantic search.
"Alex has gone missing."
Butterflies fluttered around her as she studied the clear blue sky. Clouds of different shapes floated over her. Closing her eyes and feeling the warm rays of the sun over her face, Alex listened to the sounds around her. Suddenly a body laid down beside her, hard and warm and comforting. "Stay with me." The familiar voice uttered close to her ear, his velvety voice sending a welcomed shiver running up her arms. "Le ni meleth." Smiling and turning her head to the source of the sound, she felt his lips brush over her temple making her smile more. "Don't leave me." The masculine voice whispered pain and longing and pleading making Alex frown. Why would she leave? Where will she go?
As soon as the sun's rays warmed them, did a shadow overtook and blanket them in a dark haze. Alex opened her eyes and found herself alone on the meadow. The blue sky was gone, so is the clouds and butterflies. Her surrounding became eerily quiet. The wind picking up speed, the temperature dropping. "Legolas?" Alex called out, turning her head and finding to her horror that she was back in the gardens at Fontanellato. Tears sprung and her heart sank. She was not prepared to see her old home, her old world. "Legolas?" Calling out louder this time just as the wind decided to increase its speed. Leaves flew, the trees swayed and the sky got impossibly darker. Turning again she spotted the edge of the garden that lead to the woods.
An aching need she had never felt before engulfed her. She needed Legolas. Something within her was calling out to him, picking up the ends of her long gown, Alex made a beeline towards the trees, ignoring the quickly darkening sky, the drops of rain that had slowly started to drizzle, leaving the earth soaked and the smell of dirt engulfing her. "Legolas! Where are you?"
The rain poured harder this time, soaking Alex to her core. It was night time now. Her boots scrunching the earth feeling it dig deep onto the mud. Alex shivered against the biting cold. The trees swayed and slapped against the relentless wind. "Legolas!" She was full on yelling now, her voice ringing out against the quiet darkness.
Stepping onto a clearing, Alex was relieved to realize it was a dirt road between some mountains. A hidden road between a valley! As soon as she continued to trek the slippery slope, a figure emerged from the foliage. A tall figure, with armor made of gold, his eyes sharp, in his hand was a long silver sword, "Milady! Make haste, we have to find somewhere to hide!" Pulling her arm and dragging her towards the opposite direction of the road.
"You're an elf!" Alex exclaimed, relief flooding her.
"We have to hurry, milady! Yrc scouts are on our trail. I have to get you out of here!" The elf ordered, pulling her along with him. This time Alex noted three arrows sticking out of his frame, one on his arm, the other two embedded deep into his torso. "We have to pull these out." Alex insisted.
"We don't have time. Hurry Aemilia!"
Alex was startled into silence, "What did you call me?" The elf continued to ignore her as he hauled her up a slope, pulling her arm from his firm grasp, "My name is Alex. I'm not Aemilia!" A scream dying in her throat when an arrow wheezed past her head and embedding on the tree beside her.
The elf cursed in elvish this time his hold on her arm tightened, his steps quickening as they ran, "Hurry!"
In a fit of fear and desperation Alex ran, the rain making her vision blurry. Hoping that he was near and could hear her, Alex called out in fear, "Legolas!"
In the sleeping quarters that early dawn, Pippin and Merry was startled awake as Paul sprinted into the room. Leaping over Gimli's sleeping form towards Gandalf, shaking the old wizard awake, panic in his voice. "Gandalf, we need your help." Panting and out of breath as Paul shook the maiar awake.
Gandalf sputtered and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes when he turned them irritatedly towards Paul, about to give a sermon when he was cut off. "You have to hurry. Something is wrong. Alex is missing!" At the news, Gandalf stood abruptly turning his confused grey eyes, "Where is she?"
"We don't know! Aragorn said to come get you. Both he and Legolas are searching for her." Merry and Pippin watched the exchange in fear, looking between Paul and Gandalf. "Has something happened to Miss Alex?"
"We don't know yet." Paul answered exasperated, waiting as Gandalf hurriedly put on his boots and grab his staff, "Gandalf, quick!" Both hurriedly walking towards the doors.
"Wait! We want to help!" Merry offered, while pulling his jacket over his tiny frame and dragging Pippin at the same time.
"No. Stay. Guard the palantir. Something evil is at work here. I can feel it." Gandalf ordered, patting both Merry and Pippin on the shoulder before turning around. "It is as I suspected. Evil will strike when we least expect it." Hissing in anger and following Paul out of the room.
Alex was pulled into a dark cave, seeing two more inhabitants, one blonde elleth and—"Gandalf?" Relief was fleeting as he turned and Alex saw that he was not the wizard she knew. Garbed in a blue robe, his eyes turned glowing blue as he regarded her. Feeling uneasy with the old man's stare Alex turned to the elf beside her who was also on the same position as the elleth—on the floor and gasping for breath from the pain, "Let me look to your wounds," she said.
"Leave them," the elf hissed his body lunging for more air, assessing their refuge and pulling out arrowheads like someone pulling off teasels. Three he didn't touch. Alex saw those arrows was much deeper. It had managed to go through the mail and into the flesh of his arm, chest and abdomen. Most of it had broken off, or he had broken it off, but it moved as he moved and must be extremely painful. It was also causing much bleeding with each movement. He was turning paler by the minute. "We can't leave those," she said. As soon as the words left her mouth, Alex felt a sense of deja vu. Surveying her surroundings, she saw that everything and everyone in that cave with her were all foreign yet somehow excluded eerie familiarity that she could not put her finger on.
The rain continued to thrash outside, "We have no choice. The mail won't come off with it there and I can't grasp it well enough to pull it out." The elf gasped out, trying to still the stinging pain from all wounds.
"Then I'll have to do it." Alex prayed that she could, tears springing to her eyes, her lip trembled with fear and uncertainty. Where is Legolas?
The elf looked at her, one quick, doubting glance, then presented his arm. Only a little-finger-length protruded from the mail and it was both sticky and slippery with blood. Everything moved eerily slow, Alex felt her movements sluggish and forced as she took hold of the porting arrow as best she could and tugged. Nothing happened except a hiss of pain from the elf and a new welling of blood. "I'm sorry," she said miserably choking back a sob. What is happening? Where is everyone? Aragorn? The hobbits? Passing by a discarded shield, Alex tried to decipher her reflection. Her face was distorted by the shields curve and structure, but she could point out with bewilderment that she is wearing a breastplate, gold and glinting. Running her hand along her chest, she looked down to see that she was in her nightgown, a far different attire from what was depicted on the shield's reflection.
"It's barbed, and will snag on the mail." His voice was steady grounding the rising panic in Alex's chest. The feeling of being utterly alone haunting her. "You'll have to pull with all your strength."
Alex took a deep breath. It had to be done and she could do it. A flash of lightning started her and Alex froze. "You could do it, Aemilia." The elf's voice became eerily calm as he stared at her. "You have done it before. In the glittering caves at Helm's deep. You have cured men with wounds like mine."
Alex choked standing to her full height and taking a step back from the elf. "I…I'm not Aemilia. I'm Alex."
"Of course you're not, my child. "The blonde elleth interjected, "You are her granddaughter. That makes you my great grand daughter." The kindest of smiles graced her beautiful face.
Pippin sat up anxious and fidgety. Looking around him and listening to any sounds and finding none. It felt like hours but it was only just minutes when Gandalf left them to look for Alex. Pippin's curiosity getting louder and louder in his head. Take a look…
Merry whispered, "What are you doing?"
Pippin gasps with fright, forgetting that Merry was awake and was sitting up, but the young hobbit was undeterred. Slowly making his way towards Gandalf's empty cot. Merry sits up, a worried look on his face, "Pippin? Pippin? Pippin! What are you doing?" With quick stealth, Pippin lifts the wrapped palantir. "Pippin, are you mad?"
"I just want to look at it. Just one more time."
Merry tried to grab the orb from Pippin but the young hobbit held firm. "Put it back! Put—it—back!" Pippin unwraps the palantir and as Merry looks on horrified, he gazes intently into it.
Merry voice sounded far away, "Pippin!" Pippin's eyes remained glued to the orb. The light inside seeing coming to life at it swirled and moved around. Unable to help himself and laying his hands on the crystal orb, a sickly pale light slowly spreads from the glass ball onto Pippin's face making the young hobbit's eyes widen in amazement.
"Pippin!"
Only Aragorn, Legolas and Gandalf were frantic at first while the rest remained a slight bit skeptical. Could it be that they were just exaggerating things and that maybe Alex went on to the kitchen or had to address a 'personal' business.
As the minutes continued to pass, the dread Legolas felt manifested into cold fear as Gandalf paused, something cold and pressing falling over their senses. Legolas felt it too, his eye widening in alarm. In an urgent voice he hissed, "He's here!" His eyes hard as he turned to look at Aragorn. The old wizard's eyes darting back and forth and muttering the words that told them something untoward is happening. "Black tongue." Legolas' ears strained as he tried to spot the fell voice hidden by the sounds of the pouring rain, the hairs on his arms standing in fright.
Legolas! Feeling the frantic grasp of her fëa on his own, Legolas hurried his steps, his eyes frantically searching left and right. Her fëa was calling out to him. Halting his movements and deciding to locate her fëa, Legolas closed his eyes and tried to reach out hoping to feel anything. Come on, love.
"I found her!" Echoed Eowyn's voice in the silent halls of Meduseld. They had all split into pairs to look for Alex. All of them went sprinting towards Eowyn's voice and found her staring up, her eyes wide in horror. "Alex!" Paul yelled, ignoring the rain and standing just below the balcony Alex was standing on. Aragorn and Legolas chose to sprint up the stone stairway still hearing Paul helplessly yell. "Alex! What are you doing?!"
"Is she sleepwalking….?" was Eowyn's bewildered question as they watched in horror as a myriad of emotions crossed Alex's face, from confusion to anger and then to fear, her eyes still closed and completely oblivious that she was standing on the edge of the balcony getting soaked under the freezing rain. "She's under a spell." Gandalf hissed as he followed Aragorn and Legolas up the stone stairway.
Knowing that he needed to do something than just stand there and yell for her, Paul looked around, spotting Eomer. "We need something to catch her with! Get me a blanket or net…or anything, quick!" Eomer nodded running inside the hall. "Alex! If you can hear me, do not fucking move!"
Horror swallowed her whole. Both elves were staring at her now. The elleth still held a ghost of a smile on her pale lips.
"Aemilia…" Alex turned her head at the sound of the deep voice echoing inside the dark cave. "You escaped once…" the threat behind the voice clear. Alex took a step back, distancing herself from the now frozen elves who sat on the floor of the cave watching her.
"The time of the elves are over…"
She was startled when another lightning streaked across the dark sky outside, providing just enough light inside the cave. "Yrcs!" The elf suddenly hissed as if breaking out from some sort of trance, he stood. Grabbing the discarded sword. Alex was pulled again, this time the blue wizard was holding onto her arm. "Milady, we have to go." Alex fought against the old man, turning her head to see the entrance of the cave filled with shapes of orcs. Their shield and scimitar glinting.
"We will hold them off. Get her out of here!" The elleth ordered, standing to her full height and tightening her hold on her own sword.
"Let's go!" The wizard pulled on her arm again this time much harder than before. They were a little farther ways inside the cave when Alex turned around. Her eyes widening in horror when a horde of orcs descended on both elves. She locked eyes with the elf who yelled, his eyes hardening into an angry stare as he swiped his sword left and right, "Run!"
Everything was still moving in slow motion for her. The sounds becoming a deafening blurry of cacophony of swords clashing, shouting and roars. She watched in horror as both the elves and the orcs moved in a frightening synchronicity. Like a well rehearsed dance, neither opponent relentless in their attack, refusing to make a mistake.
But they were no match to the sheer number of orcs that invaded the cave. In one wrong move, the elf left his right side unguarded and an orc's scimitar made its way onto his torso. Slicing away at bone and muscle. In an act of sheer will, Alex wrenched her hand free running towards the commotion in a desire to help, unable to watch from the sidelines as both elves succumb to slaughter. The elleth was surrounded and was slowly being beaten to death.
But the unknown wizard was faster, pulling Alex back towards the back of the cave determined to keep the distance between them and the orcs to a maximum. Alex was a mess of dark hair, tears and screaming as she watch when a single scimitar sliced clean the elf's head, "No!"
Legolas' steps were quicker than the ranger and he reached the balcony in record time. Extending his hand as Alex yelled into the night, "No!" Her arms extending as if attempting to hold onto something that is beyond her reach, her leg tripping on the balcony's edge and would have sent her spiraling down head first, with Paul and Eowyn's screams of fright echoing from below.
A long, strong arm wrapped around her midsection as Alex was jolted awake, shaking from head to toe as she gazed down—far down—on the stone steps where Paul and Eowyn stood frozen in fear. "Gandalf, she's burning up." Aragorn's voice broke through her thoughts as she was hauled back onto and was cradled by Legolas who was looking over at her with concern and fear. The water evaporating off of her in steam. Legolas tried to still the tremor in his hand brushing aside her hair ignoring the stinging pain of her skin that was too hot to the touch, looking into her haunted green eyes—eyes that looked so much more different than the ones that gazed at him adoringly earlier in the night.
"Alex, look at me child. What happened? What did you see?" Gandalf's soft voice pulled Alex's fearful eyes to the wizard. "A..a cave. It was dark." Alex shivered, "They where calling my grandmother…" shaking her head to clear the fog in her head, "He was calling me by my Nana's name…"
"Aemilia?" Paul asked surprising them with his presence and causing Legolas to tighten his hold on Alex, the elf's blue eyes darting towards Aragorn.
"I..He knows me..knows my grandmother's name…" Alex held on to Legolas shivering as she tried to erase her mind of the terrors and images that still floated, blending against each other and creating more frightful scenarios.
Feeling sorry for his best friend, Paul bent down laying one hand on Alex's shoulder, "Jesus! She's burning.." Moving Paul to the side, Gandalf laid his hand on Alex's head, muttering something under his breath and not soon after, Alex drifted off to a dreamless sleep.
Covering Alex with a blanket, the group made their way towards where the sleeping quarters were located. Pausing right outside Alex's room, Aragorn's head was turned when a commotion was heard to where their room was located.
Pippin suddenly started to hyperventilate, staggering backwards while the palantir was still held rigidly before him. The Great Eye of Sauron seemed to leap from the fire inside the glass orb and no sooner was Pippin bathed in the fiery red light. The young hobbit sank to his knees, his mouth open in a soundless scream. Falling backwards, powerless to release the fiery globe. "Help! Someone help him!" Merry screamed, waking Gimli and just in time as Aragorn and Gandalf burst inside the room with a jolt.
In an act of pure instinct, Aragorn reached and wrenches the palantir from Pippin's hands. The young hobbit falls to the floor as Aragorn spins away, reeling backwards, the action causing the palantir to fall from his hands, rolling across the floor, causing everyone in the room to cower back.
Gandalf throws a dark blanket over it, angry and disbelief on his face as he rounds in on Pippin. "Fool of a Took!" Lifting the young hobbit's slumped head.
"Pippin!" Merry called out. Pippin was a trembling mess, sweat beaded across his pale forehead, his entire body trembling. "Gandalf! Forgive me."
"Look at me! What did you see?" For the second time that morning, Gandalf asked the question again. It was a quiet two weeks after the battle at Helm's deep, a welcome reprieve from the horrors and just when they had started to recover, Sauron surprises them again, this time almost taking one life and damaging another.
Pippin looked traumatized, his gaze far away and unseeing. "A tree ...there was a white tree . . . in a courtyard of stone . . . It was dead!" Pippin's eye watering as the image flooded his mind. A lone white tree silhouetted by flames. "The city was burning."
"Minas Tirith? Is that what you saw?"
Pippin's terrified voice followed through, "I saw . . . I saw him . . . I could hear his voice in my head."
"And what did you tell him? Speak!"
"He asked me my name, I didn't answer . . . he hurt me . . ." Gandalf stared at Pippin with a frightening intensity, all of sudden everything that had occurred that night becoming clear as day, exchanging a worried look with Aragorn, "What did you tell him about Frodo and the Ring?"
Daylight streamed into the open window and the wind was cool as it flowed in providing much needed ventilation, cooling Alex's skin and washing away the horrors of that early morning fiasco. Alex was almost killed, Pippin was tortured. Both incidents occurring inside their minds by an enemy much more powerful than they had all anticipated. Pippin laid in the sleeping quarters wide awake, but refusing to utter a single word. While Alex was put under a spell by Gandalf to sleep off the negative effects of the nightmare. Paul clenched his fist, his other hand holding onto his friend's that lay motionless on the bed. Her arm wrapped in a bandage to cover Grima's handprint. Guilt flooded Paul's senses. He should've expected this. He saw Grima, heard what was uttered to Alex. "How is she?"
"Her fever has subsided. Color has returned to her cheeks. She'll be fine once she wakes and then she'll need to eat." Eowyn quietly answered. Watching Alex's face for any signs of distress and finding none. "You haven't eaten anything since the breaking of fast. Do you want me to get you anything, Lord Paul?"
"Just 'Paul'. And I'm fine." Ignoring the rumble of his stomach watching as Alex remained unmoving, still slumbering even with the conversation going on around her. Gandalf, Aragorn and Legolas all excused themselves in a private room to talk. Judging by Legolas' murderous expression, Paul wagered it had something to do with Alex. Brushing a stray hair from her face, Paul turned and left the room, heading straight to where he knew the three were.
Hushed voices indicating of a heated argument met his ears as Paul barged into the room, startling the three into silence. Legolas' stance was defensive, his eyes blazing blue coals as he regarded Aragorn and Gandalf. The elf cared deeply for his friend, and this was about Alex and if this was causing this much distress on the elf, then Paul decided that he had to know too.
"Somebody better start talking and tell me what the fuck just happened to Alex." His tone left no room for argument. His eyes moving between the wizard, the ranger and the elf, all who stared at him in surprise. He had never approached them in that kind of tone before. "Did it have anything to do with what just happened to Pippin?"
"Have a seat Paul." Aragorn calmly ordered gesturing to the empty seat. Looking at Alex's friend in the eye, "How much do you know in regards to Alex?"
Paul's brow furrowed in confusion at the question, "What the hell…?" Scoffing and shaking his head at the peculiar turn of events, "I'm fucking confused. Know her…in regards to what?"
"Have you met her grandmother? Lady Aemilia?" At this Paul's brow raised in question The wording and how Alex's grandmother was addressed was not lost on him.
"I haven't gotten the chance. Alex rarely spoke of her, but I knew they were close when Alex was growing up and had a falling out when Alex's 'treatment' started. Something about promising to save her that Aemilia never followed through." Paul looked from Gandalf to Aragorn and then to Legolas. "Alex was suppose to see her when we arrived at Fontanellato for Alex's engagement party," at this Legolas looked in pain but he remained quiet, absorbing every word that left Paul's. "But she never got to."
"Care to elaborate on that." Legolas' voice cutting through the tension with a knife. This was not where he wanted to be. He needed to be beside Alex, to be there when she wakes up but instead he's trapped inside this room. Delving into Alex's possible lineage. His mind drifted towards his father. If Thranduil had the slightest idea about this, why hadn't he actively sought him out? His mind running in circles when it suddenly focused on a minute detail, a detail that at a time seemed inconsequential then—Elrond and his sons along with Glorfindel arrived in Greenwood looking for a grand daughter—of course! That was why they were in Greenwood. News of his marriage was sent to all elven realms, Lord Elrond would have eventually found out. That would explain the cold treatment he received while at Imladris. Why had his father kept this secret from him for more than half a century?
Would you have listened?, his consciousness berated him. Was it not he who demanded not be disturbed in his self imposed seclusion?
"Her Nana's place had set her on edge from the moment we got there. The gardens where were she used to play and where she used to disappear, was distracting her. She wanted to see for herself that this world was not real. That the people she met where all just in her head. But…." Paul trailed off, motioning with his hands what obviously happened right after. "It was the Mallorn tree."
"I beg your pardon?" Gandalf's voice breaking through and startling Paul. "A Mallorn tree?"
Paul's eyes widened in uncertainty and confusion over Gandalf's aggression. "That's what I said. A Mallorn tree. Weird tree—Have you seen one?"
"Indeed, I have." Gandalf sighed, his eyes turning to Aragorn. If there was any skepticism over Alex's lineage, the presence of the Mallorn tree in a different world had effectively eradicated any questions to whether Alex or Aemilia was indeed an elf. "Mallorn trees are abundant here—in Middle-earth."
Now it was Paul's turn to get surprised by the news. "What?! If that's the case then how did a mallorn tree get to…"
"Then our suspicions are correct. Alex's grandmother is indeed Lady Aemilia of Rivendell. That would make Alex, half-elf." Gandalf's eyes now turned to look at Legolas.
"But, what about her father?" Paul asked to no one in particular.
"Alex's father would be half-elf too. That is, if a mortal fathered Lady Amelia's offspring." Gandalf offered unsure. "You forget that Lady Aemilia was married to Lord Glorfindel. She may very well could have been with child when they were ambushed." Aragorn countered.
At this, Legolas felt an unbearable stab of pain. How did Glorfindel fair knowing his mate was expecting when she disappeared? Could the same fate had happened to Alex? After all, Alex could very well have conceived last night and Sauron would have effectively taken her life just the same. Leaning one hand against the stone wall, Legolas gathered his wits for that startling realization.
"Well, shit." Paul muttered, sitting dumbfounded by the onslaught of information. "Would that somehow explain how Alex can cross worlds? Because she came from both?" Paul asked, his eyes sweeping from Aragorn to Gandalf who offered no answered but the same curiosity lingering in their eyes. "But…that..is the possibility of her being an elf be also the reason that the Dark Lord was able to control her?"
At this question, Paul spied that all three suddenly looked uncomfortable. "What is it? Am I missing something?"
Legolas looked uncomfortable and pained, "It could very well be my doing." His deep voice ringing out in the silent room. "Had I kept away from her, her fëa would've remained hidden. Concealed. Untouched."
Paul shook his head, his face scrunching up in confusion, "You lost me." Legolas stared at Paul willing him to understand what he was trying to say.
Paul continued to stare right back at Legolas who held his gaze unwilling to relent. All too soon understanding seemed to cross the mortal's face as his expression seemed to sober up quickly. "Hold the fucking phone—You two slept together?" Paul asked incredulous, piecing together everything in his mind about last night's events. "Can't say 'I didn't see it coming.'" Feeling sheepish as he felt Legolas' unamused stare. That would explain Alex's disappearance and the fact that Legolas did mention about him leaving her sleeping in her room—how would he know about that, unless he was with her the entire time? But what Paul could not decipher was what that has got to do with Alex almost falling to her death, "Um…okay then…Congratulations…?" Looking between Gandalf and Aragorn and to Legolas. Paul's face in permanent state of shock and confusion. All of a sudden a bubble of mirth threatened to burst from him—four grown men discussing one's sex life.
Legolas pinched his nose in irritation. Why would he expect Paul to understand, surely Alex did not share that little piece of information. Taking a deep breathe, the elf tried to calm his self down.
"Fëa or more commonly termed as 'spirit' in elves is one part of their structural being—the other being their body, termed as 'hröar'. Only beings blessed with fëa have a capability to be reincarnated. Fëa recognizes a mate. In a binding ceremony, their fëa bonds with that of their mate's. This gives them the ability to feel how their mate is feeling, and in some cases where fëa bonds are so strong that they can communicate telepathically. Fëa bonds are reinforced in strength when their binding is consummated." Gandalf elaborated, gazing at Paul to see if the mortal understood the gravity of the bonding between Legolas and Alex.
"So Alex is your…mate?" Paul asked slowly, his eyes looking towards the elf in question.
"My fëa had already recognized her even she was still a child."
"That's disgusting." Paul blurted out looking at Legolas as if wanting to punch him.
Legolas' eyes turned cold and hard at what Paul was insinuating, "You misunderstand. I could never…not even when she bound herself to me." Shaking his head and taking huge gulp of air. "My fëa recognized her, that is where the need to protect her and the friendship began. I was too stubborn to see it then. Marriages between elves for someone like me is based on political gain. That is the sole reason I shunned the idea of marriage. Binding between mates are special and never saw that for myself. What I never expected was that I'd find myself bonded. The overwhelming need to be near her, to protect her..."
"But Alex is only half elf, do you suppose she feels it? This intensity?"
"Until then, Alex has been blissfuly unaware of her fëa. Living as a mortal majority of her life, aging like one too. Living in a world devoid of the reach of the Valar, I gather that even Lady Aemilia had had to live and age like a mortal too. Alex's fëa remained hidden and asleep inside a part of her that is connected to her elven bloodline that would give her immortality and elven features. With the consummation of their binding, and the union of their fëa. Legolas' own fëa had unknowingly woken up Alex's elven half. The Dark Lord could not have reached her then when she remained mortal…" Gandalf trailed off offering what was not said to Paul's imagination who eagerly supplied the rest.
"He was waiting for the right time to strike." Paul whispered realizing the gravity of Alex's predicament. "Why don't we just tell Alex all of this?"
"She will discover eventually, but we need Aemilia to explain it to her—" Aragorn piped up.
"But what if it's too late? What if Sauron decides to strike again and this time none us will ever notice it?!" Paul stood looking at each of them with anger.
"No—" This time, Gandalf spoke firmly.
"Gandalf, she deserves to know." Legolas' voice was cold and firm as he regarded the wizard and the ranger. "I am her husband and it is my responsibility to look after her welfare."
"I'm with him. It's two against two now." Paul challenged, standing beside Legolas.
"Telling her is just one part of the problem. You do realize that by her acknowledging her elven bloodline, she would now have to face the choice of choosing between a mortal life and immortality? How do you think would she feel when you would present her with that choice knowing you wanted her to stay? How would it make you look if you tell her now and you are unable to answer all her questions?" Aragorn challenged, standing toe to toe with Legolas. Paul admired the ranger, he was the only who had the guts to stand up to an elven prince who by now looked murderous. "Are you telling her because she has to know or to recompense for your own faults to her fifty years ago?"
"Aragorn, that's low." Paul scolded, looking between a fuming Aragorn and Legolas who at least felt chastised despite the anger simmering just below the surface.
Regret crossed the ranger's face and he offered an apologetic look and bowed his head at Legolas, "I understand you, mellon. I absolutely do and I apologize if I was too forward. Alex is like a sister to me and I love her, just as Arwen I am sure already does. But telling her now without us even having all of the answers would hurt her more."
"Then it's settled. We go back to our world, have a talk with Aemilia. I mean, this might be the reason she was requesting to talk to Alex in the first place when we arrived but never got to." Paul offered.
"What is it that you speak of?" Aragorn clarified, turning on his heel facing Paul. "It all makes sense now—The stories—All the childhood stories that Alex spoke about, about wizards, dwarves, dragons—Elves…it was Aemilia's way of letting her granddaughter know of her other existing bloodline. If we go back now, then Aemilia will certainly clear everything for Alex." Legolas listened on. Logic would tell him to agree but his heart denied the idea. How long until he'd see her again? How long is she going to be gone this time? Could his heart suffer the idea of separate worlds? What if she returns to her world and never comes back?
"How?" Gandalf broke his silence watching the three. "How will you return? Alex said it herself, she never mastered how she was able to cross worlds. And time moves differently between. It is a risk we cannot take. Not now that the Dark Lord knows of her existence. We cannot risk leaving both of you out of our sight, unguarded, especially in a world where we cannot follow. We have to trust the Valar and their ways. It was a strange work of fate that allowed Aemilia to escape four hundred years ago, and it was the work of fate that brought Alex to us," Gandalf's gaze lingering on Legolas who was not able to hide the pain on his face, "Trust the Valar to sort everything in the end."
"So we're fucked." Paul slumped back down on the seat, his eyes looking between Aragorn and a defeated Legolas.
It was already midday when the party of Theoden, together with Eomer and Eowyn convened with the members of the fellowship, The only missing person was Alex who still remained unconscious in her room. Pippin had decided that sleep was not going to come to him and opted to attend the council despite the feeling of guilt and embarrassment battling inside him. Unable to look at Legolas in the eye, the young hobbit kept his eyes downcast. Pippin felt the elf's gaze on him every now and then and he chose to avoid any—including everyone else's. Pippin blamed himself over what happened to Alex, and blamed himself for the coil they all found themselves currently in. He almost slipped and gave away valuable information to the enemy, knew now the evils of what the enemy is capable of and felt enormous compassion and understanding at what Frodo and Sam is about to face. The evil they are fighting against is incredibly powerful and cunning. Jumping at feeling a hand on his shoulder he turned to see Legolas behind him, no judgement in his eyes, only kindness. Relaying silently that the elf held no ill-will against the hobbit who timidly smiled in thanks.
Theoden stands in the golden hall, gravely listening to Gandalf while Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli look on worry on their faces. They had little to no sleep at all last night. The events concerning Alex and Pippin shook whatever minimal peace they found while in Edoras. "There was no lie in Pippin's eyes; a fool, but an honest fool he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring."
Gimli lets out a sigh of relief. Gandalf turns to look at Theoden. "We've been strangely fortunate. What Pippin saw in the palantir was a glimpse of our enemy's plan."
"How fair is Lady Alex?" Theoden asks, his gaze on his niece.
"She is still asleep." Eowyn's eyes turning to Gandalf who responded. "Sauron's powers are getting stronger. It took him weeks to poison the mind of Boromir. Last night only took him an hour at most to put Alex under a spell." Sighing and casting a furtive glance towards the elf who stood motionless except for the fury behind his azure eyes. "It was a strategic play to use Alex as a distraction while he lures Pippin to manipulate his curiosity over the palantir." Gandalf looks from other of the gathered company. "Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith. His defeat at Helm's Deep showed our enemy one thing." The Wizard turned towards Aragorn. "The heir of Elendil has come forth. Men are not as weak as he supposed. There is courage still—strength enough left to challenge him."
Theoden listened intently, saying nothing. Gandalf continued, a hint of warning in his tone, "Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of Middle-earth uniting under one banner. He will raise Minas Tirith to the ground before he sees the return of the King."
Aragorn remained quiet and contemplative, knowing that Gandalf spoke the truth.
"If the beacons of Gondor are lit, Rohan must be ready for war!" Gandalf rounded on Theoden who stood listening but his face impassive, holding the gaze of the white wizard. "Tell me," Theoden started, his eyes skeptical as he regarded Gandalf, "Why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?"
Aragorn turned to look at Theoden aghast at what the King of Rohan just said. Legolas fought with himself. Restraining the urge to speak and demand that Theoden see reason but he held himself back. Alex almost lost her life at the hands of Sauron and once again, he was partly to blame for it. The question of whether or not she was half elf was answered. Their consummation of the bond had woken her fëa and in that, the Dark Lord was able to reach her. Had her fëa remained blissfully unaware of its capabilities and untouched, she would have continued being a mortal from a different world, out of reach of Sauron.
"I will go." Aragorn's urgent but low voice interrupted Legolas and his musings. If Aragorn leaves now, he had no other choice but to follow him. Logic would tell him to follow Isildur's heir but his heart—which had remained quiet and unfeeling for more than half a century screamed at him to stay.
Gandalf quickly took action, "No!"
"They must be warned." Aragorn argued. Boromir's face flashing across his mind. Boromir would have fought endlessly against the evil and he would have fought for the White City. Aragorn realize with a start that the time has come for him to start facing the facts about his own lineage. In a way, he felt affinity with Alex despite the difference that him knowing his own and had spent majority of life denying that part of him, while Alex was denied with her own.
"They will be." Gandalf assured Aragorn. The wizard's voice low and sure as he studied the ranger slowly coming into terms with what must be done. "You must come to Minas Tirith by another road, follow the river, look to the black ships." Turning to the rest of the inhabitants in the room, Gandalf raised his voice, foreboding as he addressed everyone especially the stubborn King of Rohan, "Understand this, things are now in motion that cannot be undone."
Turning on his heel and staring at a surprised Pippin. "I ride for Minas Tirith! And I won't be going alone!"
0-0-0
AN: yey! we have reached 20th chapter. =) i hope i had cleared out a few foggy infos with this one. things are almost at a full circle now. i know, i promised all of you one last flashback. it will be on the next chapter. *winks*
as always, reiviews are always welcome! =)
translations:
yrcs - orcs
Le ni meleth - I love you
fëa / fëar - spirit ( i had an error with this one. fëar is a plural form, while fëa is singular form in sindarin.)