Zero

by TheBordelineNonAlcoholicWriter

Many people were suddenly born with strange powers they have to pay a painful price for. Like humans do when something happens that they don't understand, they try to get rid of what they see as a threat... or use it to their advantage, and maybe that's even worse. What could be the next step in the evolution is used to further ta us back. (Updated description)

5. Chapter 5 Over

A/N: I don't care to drag it out. I'm posting one day early because I'll be too busy tomorrow. Not that anyone cares but I am holding myself to a standard just for my sake.

Ugh, I keep mixing up "empathize" and "emphasize". If you see a random "empathize" then you now know why. I also constantly misspell "colleague". God help me.

Also, I might not update next Monday. Things to do but we will see.

---

Chapter 5. Over.

Shinohara led Kyoya into their shared office space. "Your patient will be here with you soon", he explained. "We usually only take blood and do normal checkups on them. The boys have to be in good condition". Like merchandise.

"We don't do much here", Kyoya commented and Shinohara chuckled.

"If that was a problem you should have chosen work ethics before money and exposure", Shinohara shrugged.

They heard someone laugh loudly from one of the "offices". Shinohara also laughed.

"Jackson! What are you doing to your patient over there? Tickling him?"

Jackson poked his head out of the door.

"No, Jiro is high on morphine. Apparently he fell down the stairs earlier today".

"He sure is making a lot of noise", Shinohara commented.

"We can switch if you want to", Jackson shot back and disappeared back inside again. His patient, Jiro, sounded rather offended that Jackson said that and Jackson had to assure the drugged boy that it was a joke and "please just give me the syringe back".

" … Zero scum… ".

Kyoya hoped that his patient wouldn't be like that. Yes, Kyoya knew that Jiro probably didn't act like this normally, so it was unfair to assume that this was the general behavior.

Working with "kids" wasn't really something Kyoya would have preferred but this job had good pay, gave good references to add to his resumé, gave him a free room and time to be on his own. Working in such a small and confined place let him just focus on business rather than life or just another warm body that forced himself into his life.

Shinohara showed Kyoya where he was going to work.

"If Jackson is busy then the other ones are on their way… I have to go and mentally prepare myself for Hikaru". It seemed like Shinohara said the last part to himself rather than to Kyoya.

The new doctor didn't know this "Hikaru" but it felt safe to rationalize that he was lucky to not have that patient.

"Then I guess I'll meet you later?" Kyoya asked and Shinohara nodded with a small forced smile. Kyoya wondered why Hikaru received such a negative reaction from his own doctor.

"Yes. Good luck with your first day on the job". Shinohara patted Kyoya's shoulder before disappearing.

It appeared that Shinohara didn't just wish him good luck because he was new… but that he was also meeting with someone who was a handful. Kyoya hoped that he was just misunderstanding the intent.

Kyoya trudged into his cubicle and placed himself down on his surprisingly comfortable office chair, waiting. The brief medical file he had read previously told him that the patient's name was Kaoru (no surname, but the first name suggested that the male might have been from Japan). The file also obviously told Kyoya about Kaoru's blood type and state of health from both a physical and a psychological perspective. Which both seemed to be completely fine. Kyoya skipped reading about age, height or other doctors' comments because he didn't find it relevant. He would find out the most important things during their first meetings. He wasn't the person who would take care of real injuries and such after all. Yes, this was lazy, especially from him, but his expertise was mostly not needed and that didn't exactly motivate him.

After a few minutes of twirling a new pencil between his fingers, a young male (maybe around 20 years of age) appeared with bright orange messy hair and amber eyes. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and shorts… that didn't properly cover numerous scars that were all over his arms and in patches on his legs. That made Kyoya raise an eyebrow in confusion. Those could either be scarification as a body modification or a less common form of self-harm. Kyoya suspected that the latter option was more likely so he didn't understand why the file said that Kaoru had no psychological issues. Well, that was not his problem. Overall, the young male was quite handsome but his appearance made him second guess the previous assumption about his nationality. Natural red hair wasn't common in Japan at all, perhaps the boy wasn't actually Japanese? Other physical traits suggested that he was indeed of east Asian descent so he might just have been allowed to dye his hair.

"Good morning, doctor". The young male had a huskier voice than what Kyoya had expected. "You're Ootori I assume?" Kaoru strolled further into the room and sat down on the examination table with an expectant look on his face.

"Yes I am, and you're Kaoru", Kyoya stated with an almost flat voice while adjusting his glasses. "Aren't you supposed to shake someone's hand when you first meet them? That's not very proper of you". There was just a little hint of teasing in his voice.

Kyoya didn't actually care about being proper with people like Kaoru because he had an inclination that it would make him be taken less seriously by the younger male. And just being a punching bag the entire time wasn't the ideal patient-doctor meeting.

Kaoru smirked and switched to Japanese. "You don't actually care. Nothing about you suggests that you want to be cordial with me, doctor. So I don't see why I need to be cordial back".

"Is that so?" Kyoya answered back, also in Japanese, smirking back in mild amusement. "Your Japanese is quite good. Half?"

"Yes, I'm 'half'. Did my hair give that away?" Kaoru said and twirled his red locks with his fingers before switching back to English. "Thanks, I talk Japanese sometimes when I'm alone with my brother, even if he prefers to speak English… we're not allowed to... speak anything that isn't English around other people".

Kyoya switched language as well.

"So you respect those rules but not common courtesy?"

"You and they are two different kinds of things", Kaoru pointed out. "I mean, what could 'you' possibly do to me if I'm not obeying you?" Kaoru sent him a playful wink to emphasize the obvious innuendo before he crackled at his own joke.

For some reason that didn't come off as obnoxious or annoying. Kyoya knew that he was enjoying the company a little too much but he didn't dwell too much on it.

" … but I should have… ".

"I'm going to take some blood today", Kyoya explained, cutting their banter short, and he assembled his equipment. "And a small check up to see that everything is alright. Then you can leave and do whatever you are supposed to do".

Kaoru pouted. "Oh? Straight to business now? You're no fun anymore".

"I'm not supposed to be 'fun'", Kyoya reminded him and walked over to him with the equipment. "I'm only here to work, not to entertain you or be your friend".

Kaoru didn't look as disappointed as Kyoya had expected.

"Good". Kaoru shrugged and his nonchalant nature was sincere. "Then I can finally have a doctor that stays out of my business", Kaoru mused while scratching a scab on his arm. Kyoya noted that it looked like a name had been carved in there. "Not that there is much to know about my business anyway".

" … liar… ".

"Just don't change your mind and become clingy", Kyoya remarked sarcastically with a hint of seriousness.

Kaoru rolled his eyes; still looking amused. "Oh please. Who do you think I am?-"

" … a liar!... ".

"-I don't throw myself at people. If anything, it sounds like you are the one who needs to be reminded not to get clingy. Because you were way too quick with accusing me".

"Are you really trying to use the 'smelt it dealt it' logic here?" Kyoya asked, rather amused. "Because that's not how it works".

"But the 'everyone is generally obsessed with me' logic was flawless when you told me not to be clingy?" Kaoru retorted with a small chuckle.

"Touché", Kyoya mumbled and no one added anything to the conversation while he took Kaoru's blood and checked him to see if everything was alright with his body. Kaoru still managed to tease him throughout by jokingly being flirtatious just to mess with him. Kyoya just reciprocated with annoyed looks, which only made Kaoru laugh. If Kyoya believed in God then he would have thought that he was being tested at that moment. Kyoya was not going to backtrack on his previous statement, he wasn't going to sleep with anyone for now (if Kaoru actually wanted that of course, it could just be a joke and nothing more).

" …How naive I was… ".

During the examination, Kyoya stumbled upon more and more scarring but it wasn't his "business" to ask about it. Even though it was interesting to see that all of the scars resembled words and numbers rather than straight lines. Kyoya was quite a young doctor, but through all of his years of practicing his profession, he hadn't seen self-harm like this before. Yes, he had seen people write names before (usually names of ex-lovers) but not like this.

Kyoya declared that he was done and started to put away his equipment. Kaoru yawned and jumped off the table. He smiled at Kyoya as he walked past him.

"See you next time, doctor!" Kaoru exclaimed with a small wave before exiting the office space. Kyoya would have been a liar if he said that he didn't enjoy looking at him when he walked away...

...

Kyoya was planted on the chair in his room; looking at his phone like it would burn him if he touched it. He needed to make the call, he needed help to sort out his conflicting and confusing thoughts. But calling would equate to admitting defeat; defeat for not being able to do this on his own.

...

At first, Kyoya had been confused. Then he was in denial and then absolutely furious. He felt dirty and wronged. How could he have been so blind? Of course Kaoru was a fucking zero! His scars didn't come from a side effect from the serum, it was his own zero sacrifices! The serum was made with Kaoru's blood! The blood that Kyoya helped provide. How dare Kaoru lie to him like that? How dare he make Kyoya fall for him just to drag him through the shit like this? It had been proven a significant amount of times that Kyoya wasn't made to be in a sane relationship, of course a dangerous zero would come his way…

Kyoya stood outside of the auditorium, fuming with rage. His colleges assumed he reacted in this manner because he was Kaoru's doctor, so he didn't fear that he would accidentally give his real thoughts away. Kyoya was kind of known as the doctor who really disliked zeros after all. Now he felt like he needed to go back to his room and scrub himself as clean as possible until even the sheer memory of the younger male's touch on his skin was gone.

Rosengard poked his right shoulder to get his attention. Kyoya looked at him who pointed at the entrance to the auditorium. Hikaru was walking towards them, not looking any happier than Kyoya was feeling. Kyoya was about to give him a piece of his mind when Hikaru cut him off.

"I'm not here to fight", Hikaru assured him. "I hope this is our last conversation", Hikaru raised his hands up in surrender for a few seconds before lowering them again. At first, Kyoya wanted to just walk away but the encouraging look from Shinohara made him stay.

Not wanting to risk his colleagues finding out what he and Kaoru had been up to, Kyoya turned to them and said: "I promise not to start a commotion. But I think it's better if we two talked in private". Some doctors walked away immediately while some lingered a little longer before leaving. Always curious Rosengard was the last one to go. Kyoya sighed. "You have five minutes".

"I know you want to scream at or beat my brother up", Hikaru said.

"I'm not an abusive asshole. I don't harm people", Kyoya corrected, coldly. Raising his voice at Kaoru was a possibility but he would never physically hurt him no matter how enraged he was.

"And you weren't going to leave Kaoru no matter what either. Which both he and I knew was bullshit anyway".

"I didn't intend to do that but I didn't intend on fucking a disgusting zero either", Kyoya hissed at him.

They glared at each other. Kyoya swore that he saw real murderous intent in Hikaru's eyes. However, Hikaru forced himself to calm down, or at least appear calm. It surprised Kyoya because Hikaru wasn't someone who would avoid any reason to tell Kyoya off.

"I'm not here to fight", Hikaru maintained with a heavy sigh. This time it sounded more like he was saying it to himself rather than repeating it to Kyoya. "I'm here with you now because I'm the only person in this world who loves and cares about my brother. Like I said before, I know you probably want to confront him about keeping this from you, even if both of you would have suffered from consequences if he had. You know, this being classified information and all. But instead of doing that, can't you instead pretend that you don't know him? Pretend like he was never anything to you? You both could just go on with your lives if you acted like you never had anything".

Kyoya raised an eyebrow at him.

"He isn't some sort of victim here, Hikaru. He should have stayed away from me from the start. This could have been prevented".

"I agree that he shouldn't have gotten closer to the likes of you to begin with", Hikaru said with a mean grin. "But he is a child. Like you probably prefer, you fucking pedo. Children, they make mistakes and it's not like he gave you a disease or something. He didn't fake his feelings for you but he'll definitely get over you. I promise you that. If you two act professionally towards each other, it would be better for the both of you. I don't know for how long you intend on working here now but wouldn't it make the time you have left here more bearable?" Kyoya looked thoughtful and unsure so Hikaru continued. "I swear that both he and I won't talk to you unless we have to and that we won't spread any negative things about you… no matter how much I hate you". It truly looked like Hikaru was in pain when he said that. "So we leave you alone if you leave us alone. Deal?"

"Alright, but-".

"Good. Then goodbye stranger". Hikaru turned around swiftly and walked back to the entrance. Kyoya just now realized that there's where Kaoru stood. The boy was facing a completely different direction, his eyes were glued to the ground and he looked awful. Not awful as in ugly. He looked terrified and like his spirit had been broken. The Pride and confidence he had worn on stage were now long gone. Either he finally realized the reality of the situation or it had just been a front. The angry part of Kyoya wanted, no needed, the first option to be the correct one so he could enjoy the pain, but he knew Kaoru better than that.

Hikaru gently took Kaoru's hand and led him away. Kaoru didn't look at Kyoya the entire time but Kyoya couldn't help but glare daggers at him until he disappeared from view.

...

Kyoya finally picked up the phone and dialed the number. He didn't have to wait long at all for the other person to pick up. Just like Kyoya had expected.

"Mon Ami!" A grating voice bellowed in Kyoya's ear.

"Alright, it was a pleasure talking to you-".

"No Kyoya don't hang up! You never call me!" Kyoya swore that he heard Tamaki sob at the end.

Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. So far this wasn't helping at all.

"You say that every week. I call you more than I call anyone else and this is even the second time this week… ".

"Oh, you're right!" Tamaki exclaimed and Kyoya groaned again and begged him not to yell. To Kyoya's surprise, Tamaki seemed to actually calm down a little. "Have something happened?"

"Yes, I guess".

"That rhymed".

"Not in the mood right now, Tamaki. I need to ask you something and I don't want too many questions back".

"Whaaa? But I'm curious now!"

"That's unfortunate. I'll explain some other time but now I need to sort my thoughts out. Can you help me?"

Tamaki made a confused strangled noise at the other end of the phone. It wasn't often that Kyoya asked for genuine help.

"Oh-of course!" Tamaki yelled out of nowhere, which startled Kyoya.

"Okay, don't make me regret asking you for help now… I don't quite know how to word this in a good way but here it goes… well, I have known someone for quite some time now. Someone who has been very nice but very secretive-".

"Just like you then?"

"Don't interrupt me".

"Sorry!" Tamaki cried.

"Anyway. Imagine that you're friends with someone you truly care about -don't make that sound, I can care about people- Anyway, you care about him and… ".

"And? Please just tell me!"

"And it turned out that he was a zero". Tamaki was completely silent. He didn't even gasp or make one of his strangled noises again. "And you don't quite know what to do…".

Tamaki managed to finally speak up after being silent for so long that Kyoya assumed that he had a short circuit.

"What are… what are you feeling right now?" Was the words he managed to push out.

"Betrayed, angry, disgusted… but it's also… hard for me to not continue to care. I should just be feeling all those negative feelings, right? I mean he lied about something so huge. I can't say I don't hate him right at this moment".

"I don't… I don't know I-". Tamaki stuttered while searching for the right words to say. He settled on finding out more. Maybe that would help him guide Kyoya through the mess inside Kyoya's head? "How did you find out? Did he break down and finally confess?"

"No, he wasn't allowed to tell me. It was announced by someone else, someone who had the right to tell. I haven't talked to him since before the announcement. I was furious but I have calmed down a little. I am still angry, of course, but I can use the ability to think and reason now".

"So he couldn't have told you even if he wanted to?"

Kyoya was just about to say that he highly doubted that Kaoru would ever tell him when he remembered that saying that would be incorrect and downright dishonest. Kaoru had been really stressed and disheveled and was fully convinced that Kyoya would leave him after the announcement. Of course Kaoru would have wanted it out faster… still, that did not matter.

"Yes, but he should have stayed away from me before I started to care about him. He knew how I felt about zeros".

Again Kyoya remembered that Kaoru did in fact try to put distance between them when Kaoru (supposedly) realized that it wouldn't work for them. But the fact remained that Kaoru shouldn't have tried to seduce him from the beginning (or responded to Kyoya's own flirtatious advances).

"Maybe he really likes you and couldn't think logically?" Tamaki suggested, always the hopeless romantic. "I agree that being friendly with you from the beginning wasn't the best idea… But are you sure that you would have let him go if he tried to leave you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you do get attached to special people. You get attached rather intensely. Would you truly have accepted it if he just stopped wanting to be with you?"

Kyoya was silent. Partly because he didn't like that Tamaki could tell that this wasn't about just a friend and partly because he knew that he wouldn't in fact have accepted it if Kaoru had just told him that he didn't want to be with him anymore. Obviously, Kyoya wouldn't take on drastic measures like forcing himself on Kaoru or locking him up but he knew that he was a very persistent person when it came to his relationships. Another thing he needed to work on since he never knew when to give up on a sinking ship.

Tamaki seemed to realize that Kyoya wasn't going to answer any time soon so he continued: "Is this friend violent or evil or anything like what people say that zeros are?"

"Well, no… he… was the one who was beaten up and didn't defend himself… because he thought that he deserved it, at least the second time". Kaoru really wasn't any of those things. Sure, there were things in his files that showed that the boy was completely capable of doing horrible things… but he didn't do any of that anymore. But maybe Kaoru had faked his whole personality? Maybe he wasn't the sweet and sarcastic boy that always liked to flirt with him? Maybe he was actually violent and evil… no, he wasn't. Kyoya had seen so much human in that boy. Kaoru couldn't have faked his personality 24/7, no one could.

Kyoya continued before Tamaki got the chance to respond: "But his zero powers have nothing to do with combat. It's not like he could have attacked me with them… ".

"Most Zeros don't have powers for attacking", Tamaki reminded him quietly. "At least not from what I have heard. Did the Zero act smug or something like that when you got to know the truth?"

"No, he looked quite devastated. But him having a shred of a conscience doesn't matter".

"Do you really hate him?" Tamaki, quite bluntly, finally asked him. Kyoya was taken aback by the question. "Do you? It doesn't sound like you actually do. You wouldn't have called me nor would you have defended him before talking badly about him again".

Kyoya didn't know what to answer. Did he really hate Kaoru? He hated to admit it, but Tamaki was right that he wasn't exactly convincing himself. He still wanted to be around Kaoru and he still did care about him greatly. But he was also so damn mad at him. Even if he knew that Kaoru couldn't have told him sooner and Kyoya couldn't actually be mad at the guy for wanting to be with him as much as possible before the truth came out. At least not without Kyoya being a massive hypocrite. Kyoya knew damn well that he would have done the same thing, maybe even have sex as much as possible instead of refusing to touch the other person as Kaoru did.

"I… ", Kyoya started without knowing what he actually wanted to tell his oldest friend. Some things were significantly easier to say than others.

The confusing truth was leaving him with a bitter taste in his mouth, but if he continued to try to swallow it down he would eventually choke.

"Or do you just want to hate him?" Kyoya froze. "This is something I have been thinking about during this conversation. Don't kill me for suggesting this! Do you actually hate zeros or is it just something he does?" Kyoya's blood started to boil as a cold shiver went down his spine.

"What are you talking about now, Tamaki?" Kyoya asked, but it was clearly a warning.

He could hear his best friend gulp nervously on the other end.

"I-I mean… A lot of things you have claimed to hate turned out to just be things he hated. That could still be the case after all these years. You used to hate homosexual people and now you have had it with every-".

"Are you really calling me a whore right now?" Kyoya warned and Tamaki yelped and started to apologize profusely. "Why would I ever care about that man's opinion?"

"An old ha-habit?" Tamaki suggested. "Loo-look I am afraid of zeros as well but I wouldn't have been if I were you".

"And why the hell is that?"

"B-because you got to see one of them as a human".

Kyoya was once again speechless. He wanted to argue against Tamaki, he really did. However... Tamaki was unfortunately most likely correct with his assumption. Kyoya did really want to hate Kaoru even if nothing about him made him easy to hate. Kaoru was still caring, funny, (unfortunately) self-hating, ambitious, brave… and human. Did Kyoya want to hate him because of his own strong dislike of zeros? Or was his strong dislike just influenced by what he had been taught? It didn't matter how long time had passed… Kyoya was, still to some extent, that man's slave… was he really gonna let his issues ruin something that could be really good for him? Was walking away really the right choice to make? But could he really get over this massive obstacle? Kaoru having been a virgin wasn't a big thing, but this really was.

"Kyoya?" Tamaki called, although he already knew that the conversation was over. "At least think about it, okay? Does it really change things?" Kyoya still didn't answer. "I'll hear from you later! Good luck!" And with that Tamaki hung up.

Kyoya was typically the one who had to find ways to make the other male shut up so he could end the call; this thoroughly surprised him. But this was a special occasion after all.

Kyoya put down the phone and crossed his arms as he stared down at the ground. He really did need to think about this because he was even more confused now! He wasn't sure anymore which feelings were his own and which were actually that man's. Deep down Kyoya didn't want to stay away from Kaoru. Kaoru might have been lying to him, but it wasn't like Kaoru had a choice. If only Kaoru's secret could have been anything else! Kyoya had read about all the horrible things Kaoru had carried out but this was pushing it even if Kyoya didn't hate him or think he was disgusting. Kyoya still felt fear and didn't know if he could properly trust the boy ever again. Kaoru might not be aggressive, evil or prone to violence, but he still had a very powerful power that made Kyoya unbearably uncomfortable. Zeros needed to use their powers (which would be fine as long as Kaoru continued to use it during missions) but what if Kaoru used it on Kyoya? What if he already had used it on Kyoya without his knowledge?

The thought of anyone trying to dig into his memories made his blood boil, but Kaoru had never shown that he knew anything about Kyoya that Kyoya hadn't told him. Maybe Kaoru was just very sneaky about it? Even if Kyoya could get over the fact that Kaoru was a zero, being with someone who could easily get to know about your secrets like that didn't sit well with him.

"Isn't that hypocritical? I mean, I know all kinds of things about him… I mean, I don't think he deserves to know anything about me at the moment… but I never planned on telling him anything anyway".

Kyoya hadn't thought about how hypocritical his actions actually were. He wanted and made sure to know everything he could about Kaoru but he never shared too private things with Kaoru in return. Yes, Kaoru knew more about him and had seen a sweeter side of him that not many had, but Kaoru didn't know about the man, what a bad boyfriend Kyoya had been previously to people or about why he only had one friend...

A part of Kyoya felt relieved that he hadn't shared those things with a monster, but another part of him told him that he was just using that as an excuse. The only big lie Kaoru kept from him was not a secret by choice while Kyoya actively kept things from him out of fear. Kaoru really didn't owe Kyoya shit when it came to his personal life now when Kyoya actually thought about it. Kaoru had never demanded to know anything back… maybe he thought that he didn't deserve to know? Kyoya had always been distant in a way. He couldn't even handle someone touching him on certain parts of his body during sex because it felt too intimate!

"No, don't feel bad. Kaoru didn't deserve to know anything. It's good that you didn't open up because he messed everything up", He thought to himself.

Kyoya sighed and decided to walk down to his office and do some work instead of thinking about this nonsense.

"Stop feeling bad, stop caring".

---

Kaoru was laying down on his bed with his back facing Hikaru. He was a complete mess. He only stopped crying recently and the waterworks could switch on again with the slightest push. Hikaru had tried to comfort him to the best of his abilities but there wasn't much he could actually do. Some well chosen words couldn't delete feelings. He hated seeing his brother like this but it was unavoidable in the path Kaoru had taken.

If Kaoru hadn't been so devastated and in the heat of his emotional turmoil, Hikaru would have liked to ask him if it was worth it. Not in a mean way, Hikaru wanted to know if Kaoru would ever risk doing something like this again. Seeing his brother hurt, especially to this extent, was obviously not something Hikaru wanted to ever experience again so he hoped that this really wasn't worth it.

"I-is there a way to remove th-this?" Kaoru weakly asked.

It caught Hikaru's attention.

It took Hikaru a second to understand what he meant. He wouldn't have understood at all if it wasn't for the fact that they were so close.

"You can't remove this feeling, no. I'm sorry", Hikaru consoled (?) with a genuine apologetic smile. "That's not your power", he added.

Kaoru laughed while new and fresh tears slowly fell down his face.

"You mean like, allegedly, the power that Ji-Hu had? Boy I'm jealous of him now… but at the same time I'm not".

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I hate how this hurts but me feeling like this just shows that at least my feelings are r-real", Kaoru explained with a sniffle. "I'm not a monster like he thinks I am". Kaoru lied face down in his pillow to choke his sobs.

That last part did bewilder Hikaru. At first, when Kaoru mentioned that it meant that his feelings for Kyoya were real, Hikaru's blood boiled, but he was taken aback by the monster comment. But he quickly started to feel pride. Yes, Kaoru was extremely sad and broken-hearted but he still knew that he had some worth. Kaoru didn't believe that Kyoya was completely right about him or "his kind". That was a good sign. Hikaru loathed the fact that Kaoru was hurt and that he was hurt because he had feelings for somebody, but Kaoru would be able to get over this eventually and hopefully never try to do this ever again.

Hikaru sat down next to Kaoru on Kaoru's bed and started to gently comb through his twin's hair with his fingers. The red locks were lifeless and greasy, but he didn't mind. Hikaru wanted to give the comfort Kaoru needed but at the same time, he just wanted to talk shit about Kyoya and make sure that Kaoru stopped caring about that piece of shit and promised to never try to get into a relationship for the rest of his life. Which was something he thought was for Kaoru's best interests (and his own) but it was too early to make Kaoru think logically. Right now he just needed to let out all of his emotions.

"That bastard really doesn't deserve you, you know", Hikaru murmured. It was a point he had repeated several times during the past hour. He thought that Kaoru maybe would start to believe it if he heard it enough times. "You are so sweet and kind… he is obviously pretty stupid if he decides to work in an environment where he could potentially meet Zeros. I don't understand why he started to work here in the first place if he was so close-minded-".

"I think he wanted to escape". Kaoru lifted his face slightly from the pillow. "I don't know from". Kaoru buried his face in the pillow again.

"So he is a stupid coward", Hikaru decided. "Anyway, you know deep down that he just wanted someone to control. You can't really go anywhere and he can't handle someone who is possibly stronger than him. Your powers aren't combat or assassination, your powers are spy-type. The only reason for him to be afraid of you is that he is terrified of you knowing anything about him and he can't let you know anything about your owner".

"He didn't fucking own me and I did know shit about him".

"Know what? What do you actually know about him? How many actual secrets do you really know?" Kaoru was silent. "He wanted to just play with you until he was ready for an actual relationship".

"But he-".

"People lie, Kaoru. You should know that. I bet he has told really fucked up lies to get into little boys' pants before".

Kaoru wanted to defend Kyoya despite everything but he started to wonder. Kyoya had told him about having crazy exes… but what if Kyoya was a crazy ex himself? Maybe the guy who wanted to stab Kyoya was actually mentally abused and manipulated by him until he broke? Obviously, Kaoru wasn't going to label Kyoya as an abusive fuck just like that but he couldn't just ignore the possibility. No matter how sweet Kyoya's words had been. If everywhere you went smelt like shit, look under your shoe.

"Why, Why would I ev-ever think that I w-wouldn't be a-alone?" Kaoru sobbed. "I mean I know that he would l-leave ev-e-eventually but… at the start… I thought-".

"Like I've said before, you're never going to be alone", Hikaru assured. "You're not alone just because you don't have a boyfriend. You have me here, remember? I'm all you need and you're all I need. I understand you and you understand me. Fuck him and fuck boys".

Kaoru chuckled and used the back of his hand to wipe his wet cheek.

"You better never fucking leave me now".

Hikaru laughed.

"You bet your ass I won't".

Kaoru laughed before his smile disappeared again.

"Am I weak for being this affected?"

"No, I believe this is normal", Hikaru assured. "He broke your heart yesterday, you're allowed to be sad. You're even allowed to be sad for the next week".

"That's weird coming from you", Kaoru commented with a small chuckle.

Hikaru raised an eyebrow.

"And why is that? I care about you?"

"Not more than your need to have things your way… don't be mad at me for saying this, be honest. You would never have been able to handle Kyoya being with me even if he made me the happiest guy on earth… you probably would have hated him even more if that was that was the case".

Hikaru wanted to either argue or just laugh Kaoru's comment off but he did have enough self-awareness to know that Kaoru was completely right. He didn't like that Kaoru claimed that he cared about things going his own way more than he cared for Kaoru but… or was Kaoru actually correct about that? Hikaru wanted to disagree but he didn't like the fact that someone else could make Kaoru happy… someone that wasn't Hikaru. That's selfish, isn't it?

Kaoru interrupted his thoughts when he sat up.

"I'm sorry for blasting you when you're just trying to comfort me… I think I need to take a walk and calm down to collect my thoughts. Thank you for helping me". Hikaru told him that of course he would help him as the younger twin stood up and walked to the door.

"Don't forget to treat him like a stranger if you see him!" Hikaru reminded him.

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry about it!", Kaoru called back before leaving the room.

Kaoru really appreciated his twin's help, he really did, but he knew that Hikaru wasn't the best person when it came to boy troubles. If Kaoru and Kyoya would have been happily dating by now then Hikaru would have suggested (demanded) a break up every time they had an argument. Yes, the situation was different because they weren't an item but still, Kaoru really didn't want to shit talk Kyoya at the moment. Kaoru wanted someone to tell him that he did indeed fuck up this time, but at the same time that it was fine. He didn't want someone of the opinion that Kaoru was innocent. Kaoru wasn't innocent, he got together with someone under false pretenses. He already knew that Kyoya wasn't okay with zeros and he still decided to be with him. Kaoru felt absolutely disgusted with himself for basically tricking Kyoya to sleep with and fall for him. It wouldn't surprise him if Kyoya felt violated now. Kyoya probably felt like he fucked an animal or something and Kaoru couldn't blame him. For the older male, Kaoru was something filthy.

A thought quickly passed through his distressed mind; for a moment he considered going over to Rai and making him angry so he could get beat up again, but he immediately shot that scary thought down. Why the hell did he think like that!? Was he really going to start thinking about these things every time something bad occurred? No, he refused to be like that! He didn't deserve to be that hurt just because he fucked up.

Distracted by his own thoughts, Kaoru accidentally walked into someone. He apologized profusely and looked up; it was Duncan (he thought), one of the Boys. They hadn't really talked before but Kaoru knew who he was. He was one of the newest ones, so he hadn't started to descend into madness from the side effects of utilizing Kaoru's Zero powers yet. Kaoru hadn't really looked forward to meeting any of the Boys since the announcement (most of them hadn't known that he was a zero before), but he had to face them eventually. He decided to be as casual as possible.

"Walk of shame?" Kaoru asked as it was the most plausible explanation for Duncan being there, and the blond boy laughed in return while scratching his neck.

"Yeah, I guess. And you?"

"No… well, I am ashamed and walking but it's not the same thing", Kaoru explained and Duncan laughed harder.

"You're a funny guy, as well as cute… I almost think that I can get it up again".

Kaoru laughed harder than he had done in a long time.

"Thanks. I'm glad that I can make your dick hard", Kaoru remarked sarcastically before his mood dropped again. "But… isn't that a weird thing to say to me?"

"Yeah you're right. I guess it's not a socially acceptable thing to say out loud to someone you barely know and if you were someone else you would have slapped me". Duncan laughed nervously. "I have some problems when it comes to the social stuff. Thanks for taking it well. I'm sorry".

"You're welcome but that's not what I meant… I mean, I'm a zero after all… the zero who is responsible for the memory diving, I mean".

"I assume you already know that I, as one of the boys, can't possibly dislike you for being the second known Zero among us-".

"Third", Kaoru added. Duncan looked astounded at first before realization hit him.

"Ah Yeah, of course, that would make more sense", Duncan concluded. "Anyway, I assume you are actually concerned about our reactions because Boys have reacted badly before? To you being the zero with the memory diving powers, I mean". Kaoru nodded slowly. "I can kind of guess then why they kept it secret… I have wondered, what did they make you drink? We all drank your serum- that didn't sound right- to be able to do our missions but what did they give you to trick us? Milk and water?" It was hard to conclude if Duncan knew about the side effects or if he just rationalized that the Boys had attacked him because of personal prejudice against zeros.

"That's a really close guess". Kaoru gave him a small smile. "It's milk and a clear activator. If you know what that is"

"Yeah! It's a serum they use to be able to forcibly activate your powers, right? Kind of the opposite of a stopper? The serum they use to forcibly stop you from using your powers".

"You are correct. It tastes like piss and milk makes it worse for some reason? It's a bearable concoction with the correct dosage".

"Maybe you're lactose intolerant as well?" Duncan suggested. "Maybe you just also react badly to milk. Not that I'm 100 percent sure what it means to be lactose intolerant".

"Maybe… if my doctor didn't hate me then now I could have asked him to look that up", Kaoru thought out loud, with a somber look on his face.

"Please don't look so sad. If he hates you then it's his own damn fault", Duncan insisted angrily. "It's all semantics anyway. Technically I'm just as bad as you because I've used your powers for a while now. He can literally use your powers if he takes the same serum. It's not that big of a difference between us when you think about it".

Kaoru looked at him with wide eyes. The fact that it was hypocritical that normal people had used the exact same powers as zeros without being stigmatized had simply not occurred to him before. Duncan and the rest of the Boys had basically been acting like zeros for years. The only difference was that Kaoru was born with the powers and could control them a tiny bit more while the others took supplements. The others could just use the powers when it was convenient to them without the same outrage… but was that actually the only difference? No, there were more differences but that's the most significant one Kaoru could come up with.

"I wouldn't worry about the other Boys if I were you". Duncan cut his thoughts short. "We have talked about it and decided that you're still the same half of the weird twins as you have always been… or now I see now that you're fun to be around on your own. When your brother isn't looking at us like we're trying to steal what's his".

"I'm glad that I have your guys' support". Kaoru decided to not address what Duncan said about Hikaru.

"Yeah. Don't worry, you make my dick hard no matter if you're like us or a zero". Kaoru laughed again. He wouldn't be surprised if he was a little pink in the face as well. He wasn't exactly used to this kind of blatant flirting. His only real experiences with romance were with Kyoya and yes he was blunt, but not like this. "I might be a little too tired right now but if you ever want to see exactly how hard you make me some other time then I'm all for it".

"I'm really flattered… and completely sure that these kinds of words have earned you a slap or two from me in the past".

Duncan chuckled and scratched his neck again.

"Maaaybee. But the offer still stands".

It was a tempting offer, especially now when Kaoru wasn't a virgin anymore. However, it felt wrong. Having sex to cope with the turmoil could be considered a good thing for many, but he still had feelings for Kyoya and it felt wrong to do anything with anyone else… especially when he was trying to cope with this turmoil!

"Thanks but… I am in a weird headspace right now and I want to make sure that I make decisions that I would make even if I wasn't feeling like this… no offense".

"No offense taken". Duncan smiled. "I wouldn't want to risk taking advantage of your vulnerable state anyway. Hug to show no hard feelings?" Duncan added when he saw that Kaoru didn't quite seem to believe that he wasn't offended.

Duncan wrapped his arms around Kaoru's waist and positioned himself behind him before pulling him so close that he almost lifted him off the ground.

"Flexing tall fucker", Kaoru thought jokingly. "But I apparently have a thing for taller guys".

Kaoru giggled at the action and mentally noted that Duncan really didn't joke when he talked about how Kaoru made him hard. If Duncan had been much older and uglier, Kaoru would most likely have been abhorred... or maybe he just needed a clearer mind to be abhorred. It was sad how much he needed to feel wanted.

"You don't have to cry again", Duncan added silently with his face buried in Kaoru's neck and he froze and looked up at him. "Yes, I can tell that you've been crying. Maybe knowing that we are still on your side might help? You are still you after all. I hope whatever you're going through is going to get better". Kaoru turned around (to the best of his abilities) in his hold and wrapped his arms around Duncan back in a tight hug.

The sound of something snapping made both of them jump away from each other in surprise. They looked around until their eyes landed on a very familiar figure leaning against the wall to one of the corridors; Kyoya. Because of the darkness, Kaoru couldn't quite make out what the sound had come from but he could tell that Kyoya was furious.

Seeing the older male made Kaoru really emotional again. He felt guilt, sadness, longing, self-loathing and shame. He felt like his eyes were watering and he looked down at the ground to not let Kyoya see (even if he probably could guess) and blinked rapidly to prevent the tears from falling.

Duncan, being the socially awkward kid he was, didn't seem to be able to read the room. He smiled cheekily and slapped Kaoru, not too hard, on his ass. Kaoru jumped in surprise and looked at him. He was secretly relieved that Duncan managed to distract him enough to prevent him from bursting out crying (even if he was a little bit uncomfortable with the inappropriate touch).

"I'll go back to my room now. Shawn ran me ragged for a guy just laying there so I really need to rest". Duncan leaned in a little closer and whispered: "Do you feel safe with him looking at you like that or do you want me to walk you to your dorm? … don't worry my hands will remain above the waist".

"No, it's fine", Kaoru assured him and forced a smile. "Nothing to worry about. Goodnight".

Duncan wished him goodnight back and left, leaving the ex-lovers behind. It was awkward, to say the least. Kaoru didn't know if he should just walk away or address him shortly in a casual matter like he didn't know him to establish that he didn't want to start shit again. What he wanted was to apologize until he lost his voice but Kyoya told Hikaru that he wanted them to act like they didn't know each other and just forget the time they spent together… or at least that's what Hikaru had told him, Kaoru wouldn't be surprised if Hikaru was the one who suggested that to Kyoya or if there was no communication about this subject at all.

Kaoru decided to just leave and he walked away with slumped shoulders. He didn't dare to look at Kyoya as he left. It hurt that Kyoya didn't try to stop him but Kaoru wasn't surprised. He hoped that Kyoya hadn't assumed that Kaoru lied about his feelings for him as well when he saw Kaoru with Duncan. It didn't matter if Kyoya hated him for making him believe that Kaoru was normal, Kaoru didn't want him to think that everything else was fake too.

Hikaru smiled at him when he walked into their room again.

"I see that you didn't cry again".

"Yeah, I-". Kaoru really had to be careful with his words now. He wanted to tell Hikaru that he had the chance to become friends with Duncan and the other Boys, which could really help, but he knew that Hikaru didn't like Kaoru being friendly with others. Even if "others" were their own colleagues and the closest thing to a family they could have. "Yeah, I met one of the boys who assured me that none of them will attack me anytime soon. I suspect that my fellow zero helped them decide that I'm not a bad guy. It made me feel a lot better about the situation to know that I got their backs".

Kaoru hoped that adding the last part would work in his favor… and it apparently did.

"That's good to hear. I'm your brother so I can see how you would think that I'm biased when I say that no one hates you", Hikaru told him, with just a tiny hint of hurt at Kaoru for not just believing him.

So far so good, right now Hikaru luckily didn't take anything the wrong way. Kaoru decided to add a little more honesty to the conversation without saying too much.

"He also made me think that maybe I should just stick to hookups with other Boys without any strings attached in the future… you know, instead of getting a boyfriend". Hikaru seemed to agree with that sentiment even if it suggested that Kaoru would spend time with other people. "I think meeting people that I don't need to put a lot of emotional labor in could help me realize that I'm really not alone and that there is more to life than a relationship".

Kaoru wasn't exactly sure that it came out the way he wanted it to but it was difficult to find a way to make Hikaru let him have friends.

"I… I guess", Hikaru said hesitantly. "As long as I keep being your best friend and the Boys keep being casual friends and not boyfriends… then I can see what you mean".

Kaoru was internally celebrating. This was a good first step, but Kaoru did intend on finding a way to make Hikaru be okay with him having closer friends later. This was good for now.

Sometimes Kaoru forgot that Hikaru's behavior wasn't healthy. Kaoru should be able to get friends or boyfriends without Hikaru's permission. Hikaru didn't own him. However, Kaoru couldn't fault him. He was all Hikaru had; his only family. Maybe Kaoru let him get away with too much? It wasn't like he had a choice.

"I don't look forward to my next check-up", Kaoru commented after a moment of silence with a hollow chuckle.

"Hopefully, he'll stay professional or quit being your personal doctor", Hikaru said and he sounded pretty happy with that last option. Of course he was. "Things will get better soon".

"Yeah…", Kaoru mumbled. I guess.

---

Kyoya was fuming as he quickly trudged back to his room after Kaoru had left. The pen in his hand, that he was initially going to bring back to his office, that he had accidentally snapped in half, was discarded on his desk when he got back to his bedroom. He had mixed feelings about what he had seen. At first, he was angry when he saw Kaoru walk through the hallway, but at the same time he wanted to go over to the obviously sad boy and comfort him. Or something less nice. But Kyoya didn't do anything obviously; he didn't punch Kaoru nor did he hug him.

It all changed when one of the Boys arrived and started to talk and flirt with Kaoru. Despite not really having been together with Kaoru and being angry and (debatable) disgusted with him... Kyoya still felt betrayed, angry and possessive. Feelings he didn't think that he should have felt for someone who betrayed him like that (or his feelings went back and forth on the subject). The anger Kyoya felt, that got harder and harder to cling to, was the only thing that prevented him from walking over to the two, pull Kaoru away from the Boy and carry him back to his room and show him who truly was the person who was allowed to touch him like that. Tamaki would be proud to hear this, Kyoya would have added giving the flirty guy a piece of his mind in the old days. Improvements.

Kyoya groaned in frustration and sat down on his bed while rubbing his temples. These conflicting emotions were giving him a headache. He clearly still wanted Kaoru, and not only sexually. Kaoru clearly also felt bad for what he did, which made it even harder to be mad. Even in the darkness that was present when they saw each other, it was clear as day that Kaoru had been crying and his body language reminded Kyoya of a wounded animal.

"What would actually happen if I could bring myself to forgive him completely?"

Kyoya had started to slowly accept the fact that Tamaki was right, that most of his prejudice of zeros came from that man. Yes, it was horrible of Kaoru to decide to lie in order to be with someone who disliked his kind, but how big of a difference was it really? Kaoru was still the same person as before… he just could look at people's memories without their consent.

"But he is someone who has shown that he respects boundaries. He never touched me because I told him not to (I'm a hypocrite), he didn't push me to undress completely because he knew that I really wasn't comfortable with it (while Kaoru had no problem showing off all of his scars) and Kaoru never pushed me to tell him about the part of my past that I wasn't comfortable with sharing (while Kaoru gave me permission to know a lot about him)... and the things he would get to know if he decided to memory dive on me are things I should have told him eventually anyway if I did see a future with him… which I still do".

Kyoya knew that he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he let Kaoru go, not for this. The more he thought about the situation, the more he couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't enough for him to be completely done with the boy. He knew that he needed to see Kaoru and talk to him before he could know for sure if him being a zero really was too much. All this time, he had talked to Hikaru, and Tamaki and himself… but he hadn't talked to Kaoru; the only person who knew for sure what Kaoru felt and thought about all this. Hikaru was the one who preferred that they would pretend that they didn't know each other; Kaoru would have wanted Kyoya to know that he felt bad for what he did, at least. Tamaki gave good advice that helped Kyoya collect his thoughts but Kyoya knew that he wouldn't be able to make a decision without facing the one he had an issue with.

Kyoya wanted to go and see him right away but it was late. A good plan would be to do what he did last time and ask Morinozuka to bring Kaoru to his office under the guise of a normal check-up. During mandatory checkups, Morinozuka wasn't needed so it might look weird for him to get Kaoru again but the younger male got hurt so much so perhaps they had nothing to worry about. It was around the time for the Boys' regular checkups anyway so that would help. To Kyoya's knowledge, two of his colleagues were also going to summon their respective Boys tomorrow morning as well (that sentence sounded a bit cult-like). So hopefully both Kaoru and Hikaru wouldn't suspect anything weird, just that Kyoya was trying to act normal and do his job. Hopefully.

One problem still unfortunately remained... how in the world was Kyoya supposed to fall asleep now!?

---

Kyoya was exhausted but still determined. He did eventually manage to fall asleep but the little sleep he managed to squeeze out from the night was interrupted twice. The first time he woke up after a nightmare about Kaoru turning into a crying monster and the second time he woke up after dreaming about himself turning into a monster instead. Kyoya wasn't exactly sure what the symbolism was supposed to be. At least not at first. The first dream could have reflected his fear and the second one could have reflected his own flaws. However, the third time he fell asleep he dreamt that he and Kaoru, still as monsters, comforted each other before they embraced... before getting nasty… was that symbolizing something or was Kyoya just really lonely? Probably both, probably both.

The young doctor was stumbling tiredly towards the direction of his office, but someone stopped him before he could reach his destination. He felt his blood boil when he turned around and saw who it was; Rai. The general looked awfully smug (and a little tipsy).

"I knew that it was no idea to wait for you to get over your pride". Rai chuckled. "No hard feelings. I would have been the same and it hadn't been that long".

Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

"Just because my underaged patient was a zero doesn't it mean that I think it was good that you decided to beat him up and increase my workload".

Rai looked a tad bit taken aback.

"You don't think he deserved it? At all? Don't you hate zeros or something?"

"Why is that a universal fact about me?"

"People think it's stupid that someone like you is working at a place like this with zeros around".

"Ah", Kyoya answered abruptly. "But I don't think I hated them as badly as I thought. Am I really supposed to be afraid of Kaoru? Kaoru? He looks like he would cry at any wedding, even if he was just a stranger passing by".

It surprised Kyoya how easy it was for him to defend him now. It wasn't like Kyoya was making an effort to say a lot of bullshit just out of spite because he didn't want to admit to Rai that he was wrong. He genuinely believed his own words.

"Now I just have to meet Kaoru in person and see for sure if I'm okay with him or not. But I am more optimistic now", Kyoya thought.

"Yeah, he would probably cry because he wasn't the one in the wedding dress", Rai sneered with a chortle. Kyoya wasn't sure if that was another homophobic joke or if it was a dig at Kaoru's interest in drawing clothes... he supposed those two could very well go hand in hand. "But there are worse things about him that you don't know about".

"I really don't care", Kyoya confessed and it surprised himself a little. "I can probably say for sure now that he can do whatever and I won't care".

"Even if that thing could have caused your early death?"

That managed to grab Kyoya's attention.

"What's that supposed to mean? I don't see how his powers could cause death", Kyoya insisted.

He was pretty sure that Rai was referring to even more classified information but the question was if Rai was drunk enough to tell him anything or not. But did Kyoya want to know from him?

"Don't I know enough about Kaoru's past without Kaoru himself being the one to tell me? Of course I want to know about this but wouldn't it be better if I let Kaoru tell me for once? If he takes me back he probably will tell me after a while… because he can trust people, unlike me. I don't understand how, I mean his life hasn't really given him the most secure connections with others".

Rai smirked knowingly.

"Well, it's not that dangerous on its own but it's quite harmful when it accompanies dangerous minds with actual dangerous powers". Rai took a step closer, no doubt to try to intimidate Kyoya but instead he almost fell over. It told Kyoya that Rai was indeed drunk enough. "Have you ever heard of something called project takeover? I wouldn't be surprised if you hadn't. You aren't really the brightest person when it comes to anything related to zeros".

"Well my livelihood isn't depending so much on knowing much about zeros", Kyoya shot back with a fake sweet smile and he thought that he saw Rai's eye twitch. It felt good to get under his skin. Even if it was just a little bit. "And I honestly would rather have Kaoru tell me more about that than you… are you even allowed to tell me this information?" Rai just rolled his eyes and chuckled.

It surprised Kyoya how drunk the man actually seemed to be considering how normal he appeared. Rai would probably have tried to order Kyoya to keep quiet about this if he had been sober.

"So this is classified information? His reactions really aren't much to go by but this 'project takeover' has never come up when I researched either Kaoru or the facility. It sounds like it could be an old operation that probably used Kaoru's powers for espionage. But that must have happened before Kaoru and Hikaru joined the military. The name of the operation isn't very subtle at all, they obviously meant to 'take over' something, but what? Rai said that Kyoya's life could have been endangered during the operation so did they intend on invading Japan? Or some sort of facility there? It would make sense because Kaoru haven't been to Japan since he was a small child and science within medicine has been the bane of the existence for a lot of zeros because of biased scientists and public opinion… but in Kaoru's file, it says that Kaoru once worked against the American military… so it wasn't just a domestic matter? It's very confusing but I refuse to read or hear more shit about Kaoru that isn't told by Kaoru himself. It's time to let Kaoru have his voice".

"It's not like you're going to tell anyone anyway", Rai said dismissively. "You're probably like me. You don't have anything out there and whatever you do have left behind is the reason why you're here in the first place".

"What are you talking about?"

"You look like a guy who wants to know stuff but yet you came in here and you have been surprised several times since, in ways that could have been avoided with basic research. You didn't choose this place for an opportunity to learn or expand, you wanted to hide".

Kyoya clenched his fists around his paper folder but stubbornly kept the smile on his face.

"You know why else I'm here?" Kyoya asked. "Not because I have nowhere else to go. I can get work at any hospital thanks to my education, past experiences and contacts… I'm also fairly well liked. I can go back without any problems, but you? You're stuck here, aren't you?" Rai wasn't smiling anymore. "Stuck with people who only want you because you're still useful, but what do you have back there? I have work and a friend who really wants me to come back. I am young and have never even had a difficult time finding a partner. But what's your place out there? In a world that actually has consequences? Where you can't lash out? The worst kind of world for you, correct?" Kyoya decided to not humor the older male anymore and continued to walk before Rai could respond. Not that it seemed like Rai was going to. "I suggest that you focus on your own life instead of trying to ruin my relationship with my patient, general. What I said to you before still stands". And with that Kyoya left the old and miserable man to his own devices.

Kyoya managed to calm down from the conversation he had with Rai on the way to his office, but anger resurfaced every time he thought about it. That man was sick and needed serious help. Hopefully, he would stop being a nuisance now when he realized that Kyoya wouldn't let him "corrupt" him.

Sitting down at his desk again, Kyoya went through the same process he did last time to make a very hesitant Morinozuka go and bring Kaoru to his appointment. While waiting for the tall male to come back with his patient, he sat and listened while two of his colleagues were checking their own. He thought that he heard Hikaru's voice which soured his mood somewhat and made him fear that Hikaru would hear that he and Kaoru were talking.

Luckily, Hikaru seemed to leave shortly so Kyoya could calm down for now. The other Boy seemed to still be there so Kyoya had to wait a little bit with talking to Kaoru about anything serious for a while.

Hikaru surely would be even more annoying than before if Kaoru took Kyoya back. Previously Hikaru mostly complained a lot and sometimes tried to threaten Kyoya but he would most definitely become far worse from now one.

"I can't wait for that", Kyoya thought sarcastically.

It didn't take long before Morinozuka returned with a very passive looking Kaoru in tow; the younger male's eyes were glued to the floor. Like Kyoya had expected, Kaoru still seemed very sad and ashamed, if his body language was anything to go by. Apparently it was too early for him to act normal, unsurprisingly. Morinozuka left after a minute of awkward silence.

Still hearing that one doctor was still with his patient; Kyoya decided to stay professional until the coast was clear.

"It's time for your check-up". Kyoya was impressed that his voice remained stable and didn't crack when he addressed Kaoru. He was filled with a lot of emotions when he stared at the younger boy. But so far, he didn't feel afraid. So far so good. "I don't have to take as much blood from you because it's not needed for the serum anymore. I have also now been given more of the responsibilities to keep you healthy. Since there is no need to keep things secret from us. For example, you are coming to me before other doctors for any medical reason. Unless it's an emergency. Alright, I'll start with looking to see if your weight is normal".

Kaoru slowly nodded and walked over to the scale. Kyoya made an effort to not touch the boy too much, no matter how badly he wanted to know if he could without freaking out (and because he got the urge to hold him). The older male noted that Kaoru had lost weight since the last time he checked. At first, it confused Kyoya. He knew that something like their (sort of) break up is something that could have impacted Kaoru's eating habits, but the time between the announcement and the present time was too short for Kaoru to have been able to lose such a large amount of weight. The stress before the announcement was probably the real culprit to the weight loss.

"You need to eat more. You're not dangerously underweight but you could get there if you continue to lose pounds", Kyoya said as nonchalantly he could muster to not raise suspicion from his college.

Kaoru just shrugged in return. It made Kyoya feel horrible that Kaoru still thought that he wanted nothing to do with him. But in all fairness, Kyoya hadn't given Kaoru a reason to believe that this wasn't the case.

Kyoya continued the examination while nonchalantly commenting when he thought that there was a reason for Kaoru to better take care of himself. Kaoru didn't respond much to the things he was told.

There was an internal celebration in Kyoya's head when he heard the others leave. Kaoru finally looked at Kyoya. The boy looked really tired but at least it didn't look like he had cried all night.

"Do you know why I need you to take care of yourself, Kaoru?" Kyoya finally asked. "Why I tell you to eat and drink more water?"

Kaoru cleared his voice; no doubt to make sure that his voice didn't sound weak or crack.

"Because it's your job?" Kaoru quietly answered with a fake nonchalant shrug. "You don't need to remind me of that, don't worry".

"Not quite… I can't change how I-". Kaoru's head snapped up to look at him again. Different feelings played in his eyes but the most apparent one was confusion with a small hint of hopefulness. It made Kyoya optimistic; Kaoru wasn't done with him yet either. "I have been thinking and I… and I". Wow, Kyoya was bad at this. "I need to see if… can you just... come over here?" Kyoya finally asked. Kaoru looked wary and Kyoya couldn't blame him for not trusting him. "I promise that I'm not going to hurt you… I-I'm just bad with words. Please just come over here". It surprised both of them that Kyoya actually pleaded.

Kaoru took a few hesitant steps at a time towards the older male until they were almost touching. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before Kyoya carefully extended his arms towards the smaller boy and wrapped them around him. At first, Kaoru was stiff as a board but then relaxed. Kyoya hugged him closer and tucked Kaoru's face in the crook of his neck. He knew at that moment that he wasn't scared of Kaoru, but it did scare him how much power Kaoru actually had over Kyoya.

"Wha-what does this m-m-mean?" Kaoru asked and Kyoya could tell that he was trying to not cry. "Don't you h-hate me-me?"

"I tried but… it seems like I can't. I was angry initially but I calmed down and got help with sorting out my feelings and… you're still the same person… a-and I'm sorry that started this mess. I really am… I don't hate you, I-I'm not afraid of you".

Kaoru's eyes widened, then he started to laugh... and then his laugh turned into full out sobbing. His feelings had been on a roller coaster and he got whiplash from it this time. Kyoya held him closer and started to stroke his hair. Kaoru wrapped his own arms around Kyoya back and buried his face in the taller male's neck.

"I sw-swear I'm usually not like th-this", Kaoru mumbled and Kyoya chuckled.

"There is no need to save face in front of me", Kyoya teased. "But I know. You have been very stressed and I didn't help… let's sit down and wait until you have calmed down a bit before talking", Kyoya suggested and Kaoru nodded. They let go of each other and sat down on the examination table. They intertwined their hands as they waited for Kaoru's sobs to quiet down. Kyoya normally wasn't super affectionate but it felt right.

"Am I weak if I want to take you back?" Kaoru asked after the tears had finally stopped.

"I think it depends on why you take me back", Kyoya answered back, being completely honest. Old Kyoya would have said anything to make him take him back immediately, but that wasn't the right thing to do. Don't be mistaken, Kyoya had to put in the effort to prevent himself from doing that but personal progress takes time. He never claimed to be a good person. "I mean, if I'm all you think you deserve or all you think you can have then I would assume that it's some kind of 'weakness'".

"Yeah, that makes sense", Kaoru sniffed hard because of the snot running out of his nose. "I must look so attractive right now".

"A real panty dropper", Kyoya answered sarcastically.

Kaoru smirked.

"Aw, are you wearing panties just for me?" Kyoya hit him playfully on the shoulder and Kaoru laughed.

"Only in your darkest imaginations, Kaoru", Kyoya assured him with a dark look in his eyes and Kaoru laughed harder. "Anyway, what do you want for us? I obviously want to try again and have questions I want to ask. But the decision is yours. I understand if you don't want to risk getting hurt again".

"I think we both fucked up and hurt each other", Kaoru stated to Kyoya's surprise. "This isn't one of those situations where the blame is only yours like it sounds like you're suggesting".

Kyoya raised an eyebrow. "I was disgusted with you because you are born a certain way. I guess that counts as prejudice".

"But I lied to you. I overstepped your boundaries", Kaoru pointed out. "You obviously don't trust people easily and I lied about my whole identity. Knowing that you could get hurt. I should have stayed away if I couldn't tell you the truth. For all I know, you could have been personally hurt by zeros in your past! I… I put myself in this situation. What did I expect?"

"But I was completely unfair to you. I hated zeros for stupid reasons… or thought that I hated zeros. You helped me realize that it was stupid and letting go of unnecessary hate is a good thing. Yeah, you lied but I immediately thought you were a monster because of your status while everything else pointed in another direction. And before I discovered that you were a zero, I still treated you like crap. Honestly, In the beginning we were just having sex, nothing more. I wouldn't have told you if I was the zero in your place either. Who could tell that we would actually get feelings for each other?"

Kaoru was silent for a moment, looking deep in thoughts.

"I think… I think we can both agree that this is complicated", he finally said. "I mean, we both messed up. Is this something we think we can get over?"

"Well, do you resent me for being angry with you and for treating you poorly?"

"No I don't. I would probably have been just as angry and you didn't realize that the way you acted before hurt me. I completely believe that things will get better". Kaoru smiled warmly at him. "Do you resent me for lying to you? I didn't make you trust me less, right?"

"I don't resent you at all, no. I honestly don't know if I would have made other choices in your place". That was a lie, Kyoya knew damn well that he would have made the exact same choices but for other reasons. "And I think that I could open up to you eventually. Don't take the slow pace personally, It took a long time for my best friend to make me open up as well".

"I'll be patient with you". Kaoru squeezed Kyoya's hand. "Tell me things when you feel comfortable enough. Some things are harder to say, even when you really want someone to know about them". Kaoru stared straight into Kyoya's eyes when he said that and Kyoya thought that he knew what Kaoru was hinting at. "So does this mean that we're finally official? At least as official as we can be without getting in trouble?"

"Yeah. That seems like what both of us really want". Kyoya smiled at him back.

"... you know Hikaru is going to be a lot worse now, right?"

"Yes, and I really don't look forward to it". Kyoya groaned loudly and Kaoru laughed nervously. "What's the worst thing you think that he'll try to do to me?"

"I will try my best to explain to him that I am not completely innocent in this but you know that he's super stubborn". Kaoru smiled apologetically. "And the worst thing I think that he'll do? … I don't know, he can be pretty unpredictable. But contrary to what people believe my brother isn't a psychopath so he won't kill you".

"No. I completely agree that Hikaru isn't a psychopath", Kyoya assured. "But your brother has issues that are getting worse. He will use whatever reason he can come up with to try to break us apart".

Kaoru sighed sadly and looked down at the floor.

"I know that it's bad, but I don't know what to do with him… do you… do you think he'll get better?"

There was a bigger chance that Hikaru would get worse, to be honest. Kyoya also suspected that Kaoru knew that too but just needed an optimistic answer so Kyoya decided to give him what he asked for.

"I don't think he is a lost cause", Kyoya responded and it wasn't a complete lie. Hikaru could get better but he did need a lot of help with his issues. Help that the military currently wasn't able to provide. "But he is going to act like I am".

Kaoru laughed. "Yeah I guess, but he'll come around eventually… at least to some degree…". Kaoru decided to switch the subject. This wasn't supposed to be a sad situation so he didn't want to think about his brother's worrying actions. "So… you mentioned previously that you had questions?"

"Ah, Yes. I have realized that I know next to nothing about zeros, so I need some help to understand you better. Firstly, I kind of want to ask for your personal opinion on certain things I have heard about people like you", was the best way Kyoya could find to formulate his question, even if "people like you" gave him flashbacks to several homophobic older men he had met.

"Sounds fun", Kaoru commented sarcastically, but not in an annoyed way. "But go ahead".

"Is the urge, or need, to use your powers very strong? I am obviously not asking you to repress yourself. I just want to make sure that's correct and not that you have an urge or need to be violent".

"Yeah, we do have a need to use our powers", Kaoru confirmed. "Not 'need' in the way that we will immediately die if we don't use them, but it can be deadly if we don't use our powers in a while. Quite sad when you think about what some zeros have to do to be able to use their powers in the first place". Kaoru lifted his scarred arm with a sheepish smile on his face before lowering it again.

"Deadly?" Kyoya repeated, a bit taken aback. "I didn't know that it was deadly for you to not use your powers. I can understand why so many then think that you're inherently violent. Human instinct is to stay alive and some of you do have pretty damaging powers".

"Yeah, but don't worry about me", Kaoru leaned his head on his shoulder. "I have always used my powers on missions and I'll continue to do so- albeit with the use of an activator instead of me doing it completely by myself. But still, I'll continue to use my own powers so I won't die from being inactive. No need to worry that I'll use my powers on you either", Kaoru teased.

"I trust you not to, you already respect my other boundaries". Kyoya let go of Kaoru's hand and wrapped his arm around Kaoru's shoulders instead. "Why are you using an activator? Are you having issues with controlling your powers?"

"It's more like they just really want to control me and make sure that I actually do the mission I'm set out to do", Kaoru explained with a sigh. "They don't trust my ability to control my powers… which to be fair, I couldn't really do in the beginning... I still am not that good at it, but I have practiced when I was a little younger and hadn't developed a proper consciousness yet". The last part was mostly a joke; an intern joke if you will. Kaoru left out how insecure it made him feel that he couldn't improve his powers because he knew that Kyoya would be uncomfortable. Kyoya needed time to be completely fine with Kaoru being a zero, which was understandable. Kyoya was just recently learning to be okay with this. "Since trying my powers on a couple of doctors a couple of years ago, I haven't used my powers at all outside of missions. I don't see why I would use them outside of missions anyway".

"Me neither". Kyoya wasn't really sure what he was supposed to answer. "You don't need to use your powers as much as you're doing currently, right? Or is it just your fate to be covered in scars? … I'm sorry if I come off as rude, that wasn't my intention".

"No, don't worry about it, I don't take offense". Kaoru chuckled. "But you're right, I really don't need to use my powers as frequently as I do. You think you need to in the beginning. Many books even claim that kids need to use them more often than adults but that's untrue. Kids just don't know that their need isn't as bad as they think it is. How often you have to use your powers varies slightly from person to person and I have never seen anyone who actually needs to use it as often as I currently do. After some testing, I discovered that I actually just need to use it a few times a year… which wouldn't result in so many scars in just barely 18 years".

Kyoya didn't appear very content with the answer. Not because he wasn't glad that Kaoru didn't have to cover himself in scars to stay alive, but because Kaoru would still be forced to suffer that fate for no good reason.

"How… how long have you known that you were a zero?" Was the question Kyoya decided to ask next. "I mean, is it something you always know, or do you get the urge at a certain age or how does it work?"

"Well, you always know that you're different but it's not until you're around three years old that the urge makes you use your powers. The urge is definitely worse the first time so you almost feel like you're going to die if you don't use the powers as fast as possible… or maybe you do actually die, I have no idea. It's pretty unclear and finding unbiased scientists are a little difficult these days".

"I think I have heard about something called 'the three-year cap' project but I was never really invested… I can guess now that they were probably trying to find a way to cure children before they became zeros because I heard it was a complete failure".

"It was". Kaoru shrugged with a smug laugh. "The scientist behind that project had refused to believe that trying to cure this was the equivalent of trying to cure freckles or brown hair. But what do you expect from the same guy who thinks that homosexuality stems from Satan ass fucking expecting mothers?"

Kyoya snorted in a surprised laugh.

"He didn't mean literally Satan. He meant that mothers generally enjoying anal sex is the equivalent of being taken by Satan. Still ludicrous but in a different way".

"Same shit". Kaoru rolled his eyes playfully. "So you know about that infamous statement but not much about his actual work?" Kaoru asked teasingly.

"Learning about supposed smart people saying moronic things is my guilty pleasure".

"This is… this is the most important thing I have ever learned about you", Kaoru commented and Kyoya rolled his eyes with a little amused smirk on his lips. "No, I'm serious. At least in a way. Not everything we have to know about each other is serious or dark shit. I want to know what you like and what your quirks are as well!"

Kyoya hadn't thought about that before but it made sense to know all those little things about a person as well. Like what was the other person's dreams? How easy was it to wake the other person up? What did the other person do when he was super excited? All of those things sounded mundane but didn't feel mundane when it came to someone he wanted to get to know. Kyoya started to wonder how it was to wake up next to Kaoru. Would Kaoru be just as horrible in the morning as him or was he one of those people who was super happy and full of energy? Kyoya didn't know which scenario was more terrifying.

"I guess you have a point there", Kyoya told Kaoru, who beamed at him.

"Do you want to share stupid things about each other right now?"

"... definitely".

---

There wasn't a good way to do this. There were definitely ways to make it even worse, but nothing that would result in anything good. Kaoru was mentally preparing himself to tell Hikaru that he and Kyoya were a couple now. He really didn't look forward to it at all, but hiding it for longer would make it worse. Way, way worse.

Kaoru and Kyoya had been official for almost a week now. They weren't the most touching and lovey-dovey couple in the world but neither male was a lovey-dovey person in general. Their sexual relationship hadn't resumed yet. Not entirely by design, they also just didn't have many opportunities. Especially when Hikaru would be suspicious about Kaoru's absence.

The twins were walking back to their room from training and Kaoru knew that he had to tell him now. He knew that there would be screaming but he wasn't afraid that his life and health would be in genuine danger. Still, Kaoru truly dreaded it.

"Man I'm tired", Hikaru groaned as he lowered himself down on his own bed. "Training is tough".

"Well, this is what we signed up for when we decided to do real missions".

"What do you mean by real missions?" Hikaru chuckled. "As opposed to playing pretend or fake missions?"

"No, you're right, I just didn't know what word to use".

Hikaru pokes his tongue out at him.

"Don't start to sound like the old farts who don't understand what we're doing".

Kaoru poked his tongue at him back.

"I do feel like an old fart at this point though".

"Is it because of the breakup? Because you have recovered pretty good from that in my opinion".

Kaoru probably looked very sheepish right now but Hikaru was too busy making his flat pillow a little more fluffy for when he would go to sleep.

"Not quite the reason… and I wouldn't say that I recovered from the breakup", Kaoru mumbled and looked down at the floor. "I… got over it in another way". Kaoru forced himself to look up again, just to see narrow and confused eyes turning wide in surprise.

"Have you already moved on to another guy!?" Hikaru exclaimed and Kaoru groaned in annoyance that he had to spell it out to his brother. He knew that he probably hadn't made it obvious enough to be allowed to be annoyed, but he just wanted to get it over with. "Kaoru that's too soon! It's bad enough that you still have one person to get over, having two won't be any better!" Kaoru felt insulted that Hikaru assumed that his new supposed relationship would end quickly as well. "Is it that guy you have been talking to recently!?" Of course Hikaru hadn't bothered to learn Duncan's name.

"No, I didn't move on to a new person". Kaoru really made sure to emphasize the word 'new' so Hikaru would get the hint.

The shocked expression on Hikaru's face turned into something you would see on a broken man, but that quickly changed into fury before Kaoru could dwell too much on that.

"You're back with him!?" Hikaru wasn't as slow as people assumed that he was. There was definitely a chance that Hikaru would have been unable to guess the correct answer out of denial, but not because he just couldn't pick up the hints. "Are you out of your mind!? He thinks you are disgusting!"

"No, he doesn't", Kaoru assured with a sigh. He knew that Hikaru wouldn't be on his side no matter what he said but it didn't feel right to just leave the conversation like this. He had to at least try to talk to Hikaru about this, right? "He and I have talked and he realized pretty quickly that he only thought that he was disgusted. I think he was more angry that I lied to him if I'm honest".

The last part wasn't really the truth. Yes, Kyoya didn't like that he lied but he had definitely been angrier with the fact that Kaoru was a zero. At least that's the impression that Kaoru got from the situation. Still, Kaoru had to make Hikaru understand that Kyoya had been kind of acting in an understandable way. Kaoru would even go as far as to say that Kyoya had acted much calmer than he had predicted. All Kyoya did was ignore him. Yes, Hikaru was probably the reason why Kyoya didn't yell at him but still. Kyoya left him alone, thought through things and came back. It's not like he beat Kaoru up or yelled at him. But Hikaru wouldn't see it that way.

"You lied because he was a narrow-minded dumbass! He would most likely have hurt you if I hadn't talked to him!"

"You know damn well that's not true! I had no choice but to lie, it was literally prohibited!" Kaoru snapped back. He thought that he was prepared for a long discussion (argument) about this but now when Hikaru decided to step into this territory… "Last time I checked you are the one who thinks that there are situations where I deserve to get hurt, not him! Maybe he would have yelled at me, yes, but he wouldn't have hit someone for something like that! Don't lose brain cells just because you're angry!"

"I have never said that you deserve to get hurt! What the fuck!?"

"You blame me somewhat for getting attacked by general Rai! Don't fucking deny it!"

"It's hard to relearn shit, fucking sue me!" Hikaru flew up from his bed. "And you believe Kyoya would never hit you because he said so? Haven't Rai promised that he is harmless too!?" Kaoru wasn't actually sure he had ever heard Rai say that but maybe Hikaru remembered something he didn't for once? "But you would rather believe a guy you don't really know more than you believe me!? I'm your twin brother for God's sake! I am your best friend who has been there from the beginning! Why do you always refuse to listen to me!?" What Kaoru knew that Hikaru was actually asking was: "Why do you always refuse to obey me". Because that's what this was actually about.

Hikaru had intended on making Kaoru feel bad for "choosing Kyoya over him" but he only managed to provoke Kaoru more.

"Oh, I'm so sorry", Kaoru remarked sarcastically. "Of course I should listen to you and not him! I mean he has put bruises on me before-wait, no that was you!"

This time Kaoru finally said something that penetrated Hikaru's shield of anger that had protected his ability to reason. Hikaru was still angry but Kaoru's comment had noticeably thrown him off guard.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" At least he wasn't shouting anymore… but Kaoru was sure as hell not lowering his voice anytime soon.

"Do you know how fucking hard you grab me when you're mad!? Kyoya doesn't even leave hickeys because I didn't want him to but you have left bruises on my arms and shoulders several times!" At first, Hikaru looked startled, then in denial, then furious again, then worried and ashamed.

Kaoru wasn't used to Hikaru looking this submissive and he wanted to stop and just comfort him, but he knew that he needed to make sure that he hit the nail on the head, to really make Hikaru understand.

"With your logic, I'm not supposed to be around you either!"

Hikaru looked like he wanted to yell something back at him, but even he knew that he really didn't have anything to defend himself with. Instead, he looked insecure and small; Hikaru hadn't realized this before.

"I-I'm, I-i-i'm… ". Hikaru stuttered. He was too shocked and desperate to be able to form any coherent sentence. "I-I'm sorry that I h-hurt you. I di-didn't mean to do that p-please believe me!"

Kaoru calmed down significantly but was still angry.

"I know you didn't. I know you're not a horrible person and I never wanted you to feel bad, but I'm not going to stand here and let you accuse someone of your own wrongdoings… don't look so afraid, I'm not going to leave you because of this. I just wanted to point out the hypocrisy". Hikaru visibly deflated. He slowly fell down on the bed again and looked down at the floor. Kaoru sighed. "Look, I know that you don't like him and that you don't like that I took him back. But the truth of the matter is that I lied to him, he got mad, he quickly forgave me, we talked it out like adults and we're back together. It doesn't matter what you think. I promise that I'll leave him if the relationship is bad for me but until then… please, leave. It. The fuck. Alone. Just let me have this one thing". Kaoru needed to be stern with him.

Finally deciding that he had lectured Hikaru enough, Kaoru leaned down and was about to hug Hikaru when Hikaru beat him to it; he snapped his head up and quickly wrapped his arms around Kaoru instead. To prevent himself from falling since Hikaru was pulling him down, Kaoru had to sit down on his lap. They were really close so it wasn't anything weird or nor worth complaining about. Kaoru wrapped his own arms around Hikaru too and they stayed like that for a while.

"I promise you that I won't leave you just because I have a boyfriend. You'll always be extremely important to me", Kaoru assured as he brushed Hikaru's hair with his fingers. "But you need to let me be- you need to trust me to make my own decisions and I'll trust you to make your own". Kaoru almost made the mistake of saying; "Be my own person". He wasn't quite sure why it felt like such a horrible thing to say, he just knew that it wouldn't be well received.

"I-I'll keep an eye on him!" Hikaru promised and looked up at Kaoru with determination in his eyes. "I won't stop trying to protect you from him, from anyone… but I'll try to let you two enjoy the time you have left together". Kaoru had to restrain himself from snapping at him for insinuating so confidently that they wouldn't last for long. It would just make things worse to argue. "And I'll… and I'll also try to be more careful with you… I d-didn't know that I did that to you, I really didn't mean to. You believe me, right?"

Kaoru gave him a small reassuring smile.

"Of course I do. I don't believe that you wanted to hurt me. I should also have told you earlier, but I didn't think that it was important… which was a selfish thought, because you clearly wanted to know so you could have prevented it". But Kaoru wasn't sad that he waited to tell him this, not at all, at least not at that moment. Sure, he did feel empathy for his brother's turmoil but who knew what his brother would have done if Kaoru hadn't brought it up during their conversation like this? It was an immediate diffuser and saved Kaoru from a possible huge headache. Hikaru finally sat down and listened to him when he talked about getting back with Kyoya… a better scenario could have never happened!

"But am I a bad person for thinking like this? Isn't this some kind of manipulation? That I'm using information that I've kept from him against him to make him do what I want him to do? But I just want everyone to be happy; Hikaru, Kyoya and me. I have spent so much time listening to Hikaru and making him happy but now I can make my own choices when Kyoya is here. Hikaru wants to hold me back, I don't think I can ever be fully happy if I don't play extremely dirty… still, I do feel like a shitty person… ".

Kaoru snapped out of his thoughts and continued: "I guess our communication have to get better".

Hikaru nodded and buried his face in Kaoru's chest. Kaoru knew that Hikaru would never stop seeing Kyoya as a threat, at least that's what it felt like. But maybe Hikaru would be a little more okay with the situation one day? Only time could tell.

"... And time isn't always kind… ".