Ceremonies
"Lebam," said Gideon.
"Call me 'Mistress'," Lebam said. "And get on your knees."
Gideon found himself compelled to obey. "Yes, Mistress."
Bill said, "Our deal is fulfilled, Llama."
"Why are you doing this to me?" Gideon moaned.
"You backed out on a deal," said Bill. "I don't forgive that."
"And I want revenge," said Lebam. "I own you for the rest of your life, like you tried to own me."
"The little dork might like that," said Robbie.
"I'm not going to do that sort of thing," said Lebam. "I'm not that sort of mistress. This is about humiliation."
Gideon could feel no trace of the power over others he was used to having for so long, power that had remained ever after his amulet was lost. That power had protected him in prison and allowed him to build up a following of tough protectors and enforcers.
"Nooo," said Gideon.
"Now, take off that hair net and mess up your hair," commanded Lebam.
"Not my hair!" said Gideon, but he was forced to obey. His perfect pompadour was frizzed out like a mop.
"Now lick my shoes," said Lebam.
Gideon was forced to obey, but before he could finish Bill interrupted.
"Okay, fun time's over. Time to go downstairs for the portal ceremony," said Bill.
"What?" said Lebam. "You didn't say anything about that."
"I didn't? My bad," said Bill.
"What happened to Gideon being my slave for the rest of his life?" asked Lebam.
"Well, you see, it's not going to be his life any more," said Bill. "And that's true for all of the rest of you."
"What! No!" the others shouted. They tried to run, but Bill's force fields grabbed and lifted them.
"There are two mystery-solving groups, each with five members. That's why there are ten symbols on my ring," said Bill. "The first complete group can release the Entity and gain ultimate power. The second group will be dinner. Or maybe both will be dinner; I'm not precisely sure."
The three humans were lifted by Bill's power and taken within the Mystery Shack gift shop.
"You can do the honors, Lebam," said Bill. "There are still control powers over you, just not keyed to Gideon anymore."
Lebam was compelled to walk to the vending machine near the "Employee's Only" entrance and to type in a series of buttons. A panel swung open.
"What is this?" she asked, discovering she was still in control of her voice.
"This is the entrance to the secret levels, which were built by me and other beings from another dimension centuries ago," said Bill.
Lebam and Gideon walked, while Robbie was lifted, down a small flight of stairs.
At the bottom was an elevator, and here was a symbolic pad.
"What kind of symbols are these?" Lebam asked, trying to keep panic out of her voice.
"Annunaki scientific symbols," said Bill. "You may know them from alchemy, the human attempt to imitate our science, with a little knowledge mixed with a lot of superstition."
"Annunaki? Ah never heard of such a thing. Who are you, really?" asked Gideon.
"I am a piece of the Planispheric Disk, product of the best human alchemist of all time, Bartimeo Magnus, then brought to life by the strongest of the Annunaki, the Evil Entity. Almost all trace of his influence was eliminated from this universe other than myself and my fellows, but our goal is to set him free," said Bill.
"What are you going to do with us?" Lebam asked in a tight voice.
"You won't be physically harmed," said Bill. "At least not yet."
"Ah don't like this," said Gideon.
"None of us do, dweeb," said Robbie.
They went down in the elevator to the third below-ground floor. There were banks of what looked like old computers, and a desk where the books were arranged in a triangle.
"The three Journals!" said Gideon. "The key to ultimate power."
"Yes indeedy," said Bill. "Power for the Evil Entity, but you lucky people get to participate."
Stan Pines was sleeping on his feet in front of a glowing portal that looked like an inverted triangle with a circle within it.
"Okay Stan, you can wake up now," said Bill.
"Huh? What?" said Stanley Pines (who impersonated Stanford Pines) groggily, as he roused.
"Places, everyone," said Bill.
A glowing ring appeared on the floor, with symbols in every space around Bill. Stan was already on the Fez Symbol. Robbie, Lebam, and Gideon were placed in the Stitched Heart, Llama, and All-Seeing Pentagram positions respectively. All were held motionless except for the ability to speak.
"Hey, I was promised I'd get rich when the banks crashed," said Stan.
"The ruler of the universe will be rich, owning everything and everyone," said Bill. "You're going to be part of something big and world-changing. Everything you care about will change. That probably means die, but oh well."
"I'm already dead. As long as I get to be with Wendy in death, I'm happy," said Robbie. "I see she's going to be on the ring, too."
"What a cheater and a liar," said Lebam. "You let me have maybe a minute with Gideon as my slave."
"Liar, monster, fancy dresser," said Bill. "That's me."
"So when are you gonna do this world-changing stuff?" asked Stan.
"We're still missing the animal member of this group, and all the members of the other local mystery group," said Bill. "They will be here soon."
He changed two ring symbols: the six-fingered hand became a tag with the letters "SD" on it. The glasses became a birdcage.
"This is so, so not good," said Lebam. "We're doomed, but I hope Dipper and Mabel get away."
Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel were prisoners of the secret society faction called the Blind-Eye Branch of the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel.
"Dipper and Mabel," said the group leader. "You have allied yourselves with Stan Pines, the follower of the demon Bill Cipher. What do you have to say in your own defense before we pass sentence on you?"
"Grunkle Stan is a good man," said Mabel. "Well, he has a good heart deep down, anyway."
"He doesn't follow demons," said Dipper. "That's crazy talk. Cipher went into his mind to steal his safe combination."
"You lie," said one of the hooded secret society members. "That's what we can expect from robot kids. They were brought here by the demon. Why shouldn't we just destroy them?"
"Destroy them! Destroy them!" chanted the others.
"We're not robots!" said Mabel. "We're flesh and blood like you. We can prove that: I'll scratch Dipper and prove he bleeds."
"Mabel, why scratch me and not yourself?" Dipper asked.
"Androids have flesh and blood," said the leader.
"Killing us would be murder. Our parents will come looking for us," said Mabel.
"Bring forth Smipper and Smabble," said the leader, pointing his gloved right hand.
Two kids who looked like younger versions of Dipper and Mabel were brought out from a side room.
"This is kind of scary, Pop-Pop," said Smabble to the man holding her hand. "Can we go home now?"
"Behold your replacement clones," said the leader. "Your parents deserve real kids instead of android fakes. Once we age these young'uns up a mite they'll take your place."
"Stop!" called Fred. Mystery Incorporated, Crystal Cove division, came out from behind the curtains where they were hiding.
"We followed you when you kidnapped Dipper and Mabel," said Daphne. "Then we figured out where you were going and got ahead of you."
"Like, this spooky Club is decorated just like the Sitting Room we visited in our dreams," said Shaggy.
"Rightmares," said Scooby-Doo.
"Which means somebody is under the influence of a dream-controlling monster, not fighting him as much as you thought," said Velma. "You need to check out your leadership."
"What do ya mean?" asked the leader.
Dipper said to the leader. "You used old-fashioned words: 'young'sn' and 'mite'. Your voice is different, but I know you have a potion to change that."
Mabel ran forward and pulled the leader's hood down. "You're Old Man McGucket!"
"Oh, banjo polish," said McGucket in his deep voice.
The crowd of followers muttered. One said, "We've been following a crazy old koot. Let's go."
"Wait, you've got to believe me!" said McGucket. "They really are androids! The danger of Bill is real! He lied to me. Darkness is coming!"
"Come on, Smipper and Smabble," said the man who brought them in. "Pop-Pop will take care of you from now on."
"But what about Duane the Enforcer, the sacred barn owl?" said one of the followers. "He's real, ain't he? We've been worshiping him."
Professor Pericles flew over and pulled the white feathery barn-owl disguise off of the owl on McGucket's shoulder, revealing a brown owl underneath.
"It's the Maraca Owl," said Mabel. "I'd know those feathers anywhere."
"And it is a robot," said Pericles, giving it a tap on the side and getting a metallic thunk. It fell to the floor. "I have turned it off now."
"Oh fiddlesticks," said McGucket.
The others filed out of the Club, dropping their hoods and revealing original members Ernie Wyler, "Uncle" Phil Andry, Barney "Big Mouth" Jackson, and Wally Beavis. There were also new members: Tyler the cute biker, "Manly Dan" Corduroy, Deputy Durland, and Lazy Susan.
"Hey, I didn't know we let women in the Lodge," said Durland.
"You let in anyone in a hood," said Susan. "Anyway, I'm quittin'. Tryin' to spy on Stan Pines ain't worth it: he won't return my calls."
When they all had left, Dipper said to Mabel and Mystery Incorporated, "Let's go."
"Not so fast," said McGucket. He grabbed Dipper and Mabel each around the neck with one arm. His right glove fell off and Dipper could see the stub of a sixth finger on his right hand.
"You used to have six fingers," said Dipper. "You wrote the Journals."
"That's right," said McGucket. "So you know that I know what I'm talkin' about. You're androids and you've been helpin' Bill Cipher. What do you know about the Journals?"
"Almost nothing. I found one of them, Journal 3," said Dipper.
"What did you do with it?" asked McGucket.
"We let Grunkle Stan borrow it," said Mabel. "He's going to use it to get ideas for the Mystery Shack."
"You WHAT?" said McGucket. "Mebbe you did it without knowin' it, but you're still guilty of aidin' and abettin' an alien world conqueror. I may not have followers anymore, but this body's strong: I'll kill you with my own hands."
His grip tightened around their necks, starting to cut off their air.
The Scooby gang looked on in shock, not sure how to help the hostages. Fred had a trap ready, but it would catch Dipper and Mabel along with McGucket.
Soos ran into the room, pointing a high-tech wrist cannon at McGucket.
"Like, drop those kids or I'll shoot," said Soos.
"No siree," said McGucket. "I can kill them afore you kill me."
He choked harder and Dipper began to see stars.
Soos blasted McGucket between the eyes, and he dropped the twins; he fell to the floor dead. Mabel and Dipper gasped for breath.
"I wish I hadn't had to do that," said Soos. "But he was going to kill you, dudes. The rest of the secret society might change their minds and come back for you. Come with me if you want to, like, not die."