One Shocking Surprise: Snakes & Swears Edition

By: Sheltie

I don't own Naruto at all

A/N: this one is a Anko and Tayuya one. Warning this has a lot of foul language in it. Enjoy!

Ibiki sighed and was grumbling under his breath. He hated that he had to do this, but he had to do it. Here he was in front of Anko's apartment door. Anko hadn't shown up for work, which was odd since Anko loved her job in the T & I. She rarely ever called in sick since she came in sick mostly too.

"You better be home Anko and not in some dive passed out" the head of T & I muttered under his breath.

He then knocked on the door, but got no answer. He sighed and mumbled under his breath again then knocked once again. This time he heard something. There was a lot of cussing, which Ibiki chalked up to Anko falling out of bed. He then heard loud stomping footsteps and he readied himself for the out burst that was going to happen.

The door was opened and Ibiki was shocked and all readiness had left his head. Because before him wasn't Anko, no, it was a redhead. Ibiki recognized her vaguely, but he wasn't totally sure where he remembered her. She could've been a kunoichi he's interrogated, but he's interrogated so many kunoichi and shinobi that it was hard to remember them all without looking at their file beforehand.

"What in the motherfucking hell do you want damnit?" the redhead grumbled loudly.

"Who are you and what are you doing in Anko's apartment?" Ibiki asked.

"I asked first you fucking scar face" the redhead said.

Ibiki leaned down glaring at the redhead, but the redhead just glared right back.

"Tayuya, it's too early for all that language and killer intent" Naruto said as he appeared.

Ibiki stood up and was shocked to see Naruto here. Of course he knew Naruto, everyone in the village knew the spiky haired blond. But what he was doing in Anko's apartment was another matter. Ibiki then saw what Naruto and the now redhead named Tayuya. Tayuya was dressed in a long shirt he hd a pretty good idea belong to Anko. As for Naruto, he was dressed in a pair of boxers.

"Uzumaki, what are you doing here?" the head of the T & I asked.

"Eh, just catching up with a few friends, that's all" Naruto said.

Ibiki narrowed his eyes at this.

"Yo brat, where are you? I need my fox meat."

Ibiki knew that voice. Soon Anko appeared just wearing her signature trench coat, but closed just enough to hide most of her goodies from public view.

"Anko, you didn't show up for work" Ibiki said.

"Oh, I didn't, damn. I swore I put in vacation time" Anko said.

"You, put in vacation time?" Ibiki asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I need time to taste a fire bush and have some foxy injections" Anko said with a smirk.

"What the hell did you fucking call me?" Tayuya asked glaring at Anko.

"You heard me fire crotch" Anko said.

Tayuya growled, but before she could leap on Anko Naruto wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Now Tayuya, you can let out your frustrations later in a more enjoyable way. I promise you" Naruto said and nibbled on Tayuya's ear knowing that it would calm her.

Tayuya did calm down and sighed closing his eyes.

"So yeah Ibiki. On vacation. I'll be back in a week. See ya then" Anko said then slammed the door shut on her boss.

Ibiki just stood there then heard a lot of noise. He blinked then shook his head. He was just going to forget all about this and get back to work. When Anko returned he'd say nothing, nothing at all.

End

A/N: and that's my Anko and Tayuya one. Hoped you liked it. Thanks for reading and please review.