One Shocking Surprise: Sound Trio Edition

By: Sheltie

I don't own Naruto at all

A/N: this one is a Guren, Tayuya & Kin one. I've wanted to do this one badly for a while, mainly to have Orochimaru being the one surprised since I haven't done that yet. Not to mention I have three of the my favorite Girls of Sound in my opinion. I had a lot more creative titles in mind, but I couldn't really make it all work since I tried to make a title using all three of the girls' skills, but could never get it right. I could only get two of them in the title, not the third. So since this one has Tayuya in it then that means a bunch of swearing. You've been warned.

Orochimaru was stalking through one of his numerous bases. He was planning on what to do next. He had so many things to do. Being an evil genius was a lot of hard work. Being evil all the time was not always fun. They say being evil is easy, but it isn't. It's a lot of hard work plotting, scheming to create unrest, world domination all that jazz. It can tire any evil person. Besides you know what they say, all work and no play makes Orochimaru a dull, dull pale pedo. Well, that's not exactly what they say, but he was tired of being evil all the time.

He then heard a sound and frowned. He followed it and soon was at a door to one of his subordinates. The sounds were coming from behind the door. They sounded like moans, but not moans of pain. No, it was a different kind of moan that the snake sannin didn't know about. His curiosity got the best of him. He went to open the door, but it was locked. He knocked a few times, but got no response.

So he began to bang on the door in frustration and a bit of anger for being ignored. Soon the noises stopped and some heavy stomping footsteps were heard. The door was unlocked and the door opened to revealed a pissed off Guren glaring at him.

"What do you want?" she snarled.

Orochimaru paused since he wasn't used to talked to like this. Then his eyes looked up and down at Guren and noticed that her light blue hair, which usually done in a spiky ponytail was out of it and a total mess. Her lips, usually coated with red lipstick was nowhere though they glisten with some kind of shiny fluid as well as they were swollen. She was wearing a kimono that she had hastily put on so it didn't cover all of her and Orochimaru saw peeks of her fair skin.

"What is the meaning of this, locking the door, and what were those sounds I heard?" the snake sannin demanded.

"Who the fuck is at the door Guren?"

Soon Tayuya appeared. She looked pissed off as she was only covered in a bed sheet. Her red hair in total disarray.

Orochimaru looked at one of his elite guards.

"Well, what's the motherfucking hold up?" Tayuya asked in a very unhappy tone.

"It's nothing, just a pest" Guren said.

"Well then fuck him up or something and be quick about it. Unless you want to skip your turn" Tayuya said.

"I'll get rid of him, and don't you dare take my turn bitch" Guren said coolly.

"Fuck you, first fucking come first fucking served. I ain't going to be on goddamn standby" Tayuya said.

"You will be if I say so. I outrank you" Guren said.

"Fuck you, I am a part of the elite guard. I guard the pale snake boy ass humper" Tayuya said.

Orochimaru felt his eye twitch. He hated when his sexual orientation was brought up. Yes, he like boys, the younger the better. That's why he's had his eyes on Sasuke Uchiha for so long, but it still didn't mean that he was alright with people talking about his sexual leanings.

"Do you have to be so cuss happily Tayuya. It's ruining the mood I was in?"

Orochimaru then saw a dark haired girl. He frowned as he tried to remember her name. She was one of his kunoichi. He knew that for sure, but she must be one of the low-level ones since he didn't know her name at all.

"I can fucking talk how ever I want to fucking talk Kin. Now get back there and ride that monster prick. It better not be flat when I get back" Tayuya said.

Kin was wearing, well, it looked to be her torn shirt that showed a lot of skin and a pair of boy shorts with toads on them. This ticked the snake sannin off since he hated toads.

"She's right Kin. You know better than to stop, so get back there now" Guren commanded.

"I will, I will. But what's the hold up, he wants to know?" Kin asked.

"He is the hold up" Guren said gesturing to Orochimaru.

"What fucking hell do you want? Don't you have a damn fucking ass to lick or plow? I mean, has the Uchiha shit got tired getting tunneled?" Tayuya asked.

Orochimaru held back his temper. He wasn't going to let one of his elite guard piss him off. No, even though she hit home with her comments.

"Tayuya dear, as much as I love your foul mouth. I rather it be used in the proper way. Like licking and sucking."

This voice puzzled the snake sannin since it sounded familiar, but he just couldn't place it. Soon he saw a mop of blond hair. His first thought was that it was Minato Namikaze then his eyes saw the whisker marks and knew it wasn't Minato, but Naruto. But then his mind raced. What the hell was the Uzumaki brat doing here in one of his bases, and with his kunoichi?

Naruto was standing there with an arm wrapped around Kin's waist. A bed sheet wrapped around his waist.

"Guren, Tayuya come back to bed now. We haven't finished discussing your defecting to Konoha" Naruto said.

"I apologize Naruto" Guren bowed.

"Yeah, we better get back to fuc- I mean negotiating our terms" Tayuya said.

"Yes, now lets get back to business" Naruto said as he dragged a very happy Kin away.

Guren shut the door on Orochimaru and then locked it.

The snake sannin stood there listening to all the noises and then turned and walked away. He'd just completely ignore all he saw there. That's it, it was just some kind of weird genjutsu.

End

A/N: and that's the end of this one. The ending is a little weak on this one and I apologize for that, but it was the best I could come up with. Thanks for reading and please review.