BETA-ed by Jenny-Cat-Miaow
Things As They Are
Chapter 15
Sasuke pulled himself away from Minato's hold, knowing that the Kyuubi's chakra would harm the Hokage. For now, the changes the chakra brought about to his appearance stayed in his eyes and at a glance it merely appeared that he had activated his Sharingan.
He stumbled as his body rebelled and Naruto surprised him by instinctively reaching out to him before he could fall. Naruto didn't meet his gaze, and there was an anger in his chakra. Sasuke guessed that Naruto was angry for helping Sasuke, like it was something he hadn't meant to do.
Old habits then.
–What happened to you dobe? Why are you always so angry? – The thoughts swam into his agitated mind, and for a moment they were at the forefront of his focus.
Sasuke pushed all thoughts of Naruto away as Shukaku's chakra washed over them once again. Before the Uchiha could even move towards the disturbance, Minato had vanished, features set in a scowl of annoyance.
Sasuke swayed again, the Kyuubi's chakra not able to match up to the damage the lightning had done. Not right away. Hands grasped his shoulders and pulled him backwards. The movement caused him to lose his footing completely but the other person's hold prevented him from falling.
"It's okay Sasuke-kun. You don't have to fix things on your own." Itachi told him, warmth radiating from every word as the older Uchiha held Sasuke close. "I'm right here."
"No." Sasuke protested breathlessly. "I have to show him that he doesn't need to fight against everyone, not anymore. I have to tell him that he's my friend." No matter how he struggled to get away, Itachi held him close, refusing to let go.
"Be at peace Sasuke, the Hokage will handle things. You have done more than enough. Rest." Sasuke felt his world slipping away from him, and realised too late that Itachi had given him a sedative. No. –I have to get to Gaara! This isn't the way things are supposed to go! –
"Your world has no standing here, Uchiha." The irritated growl was the last thing Sasuke's mind registered before he fell into unconsciousness.
Naruto grit his teeth, features set in a more malicious version of his father's earlier scowl of annoyance. "What with the face, Naruto-chan?" Obito teased as he approached, leaping through the rubble littered around the area. Although his tone was teasing, his eyes were far too alert, flicking around restlessly.
"This 'Sasuke'. That foolishness he was blathering about earlier, there's something weird about the way he says it." Naruto replied, directing a glare at the Uchiha. He only answered because he wanted to see if anyone else had noticed. –I can't be the only one! He's not Sasuke and I'll be damned if I'm going to let it drop.–
"It's like he's trying too hard to be someone else." Kakashi muttered, eyes also not staying in any one direction for too long. "It was there, in the arena as well. He was sincere in his words but it still felt like he was forcing them." Kakashi continued, keeping his attention on his surroundings and the conversation easily enough.
"Like words in a play. Rehearsed. Or rather, not his own." Naruto added darkly. There was something about this Sasuke, something different. Other than the complete 180 on his personality. It was consuming Naruto to the point where his previous goals didn't matter.
–No! Not that. Never that! – Naruto's gaze narrowed in frustration and anger.
It was consuming him to the point where he needed to solve this problem first, and then focus on achieving his other goals. He didn't understand why he couldn't just let it go. Either way, he did understand that to achieve his goals and to find out who this person really was, he was going to need power. Ever since being placed together as a team, at {Sasuke's} request, Naruto had been forced to conclude over and over again that this Uchiha was far superior to him, in every way. –I need power, I need to know who he is and what he's done with the real Sasuke.–
And Orochimaru was freely offering to make him stronger. But at what cost? What did that mean for Naruto?
Even if the sannin didn't seem like the sanest person alive, Naruto recognised the opportunity when he saw it. Still, what kind of a sannin attacked Konoha head on? Where there currently resided at least three known geniuses in the Uchiha alone? Not to mention, the Yellow Flash, the Yondaime Hokage? Itachi, if he had been ordered to, could have ended all this single-handedly before it had even gotten to the point of invaision. What did his father want, that he'd let it play out this far? –Not to mention, what ex-Leaf-nin gets help from Iwa of all places? – That alone made the blond sneer in disgust.
Naruto's mood plummeted even further when he decided that there was just far too much happening in the village as well as with things directly related to his well-being as a person that he didn't know very much about. Most of it revolved around the dobe-Uchiha.
"Well Sasuke's loyalties are not to be questioned. He is clearly very much loyal to the Leaf. Or at the very least, Minato-Sama." Itachi added quietly, he too joining Obito and Kakashi in keeping an eye on their surroundings, least some stray invader decided to be both stupid and brave.
With a sneer directed at the unconscious Sasuke, Naruto leapt away, hoping to find some invaders to beat up, despite having been asked by his father to take the Uchiha to the hospital.
"As for my side, the area has been cleared and was thankfully fully evacuated. All enemy have been either captured, killed or have fled." Obito looked to Kakashi and Itachi, carefully surveying the damage to the building that had once been an entire stadium. "That jutsu sure is something I'm glad I'm not standing on the receiving side of." He added with a appreciative nod.
"We should get back to work. The invasion isn't over." Itachi reminded quietly, eyes moving in the direction of the hospital before he disappeared in a silent shushin, taking an unconscious Sasuke with him.
.0.0.0.
"–finally started to settle down. We've rounded up the rest of the Suna and Iwa nin, the ones that didn't make it out of the village when things took a turn."
The hushed report was the first thing that Sasuke registered as he began to regain consciousness. –Took a turn? For the better or for the worse? Probably better since it sounds like the enemy was trying to get out. – He didn't move, not sure where he was or who he was with. Having lived with Orochimaru for so long, he knew better than to just rush into things.
"Let the Suna-nin go. They are, after all our allies, and they have suffered a heavy loss. Let this be an act of good faith. I'll sort it out with the stand-in Kazekage later." Minato's soft voice replied, sounding closer than what was comfortable. The pressure to remain still, to not alert anyone to his conscious state doubled, if not tripled with the Hokage standing so close.
"As for Iwa, I'll talk to the old Fence-Sitter first before I let them go. But I'm in the mind to let them go anyway." Minato sighed, the dip in the bed letting Sasuke know that he had sat down.
"Hokage-sama, is that wise, if I may be so bold?"
"Orochimaru is as cunning and manipulative as they get. Also, he is Konoha's problem. He's our mess to clean. We cannot hold the other villages accountable for his actions." Minato replied with a frown clear in his tone. "Although, they make their own choices and we can hold them accountable for that. Once they realised what was happening, that they were losing, well they readily surrendered. That gives them some points in my book."
"Hai Hokage-sama." The sound of retreating footsteps let Sasuke know that the other Shinobi had left the room.
It took every ounce of his willpower and training to not react when the Hokage placed a hand on his forehead gently, stilling for a moment, and then caressing his cheek before pulling away.
"Why so troubled Sasuke-kun? I tried to ensure that you had a happy life, but lately . . ." Minato's soft whispers trailed off. Sasuke nearly jumped when a hand settled on his chest as lightly as possible, measuring the rise and fall of his breathing. –I don't understand why he's so concerned about me? Was the Sandaime like this for Naruto? – Sasuke found himself wondering, his face instinctively wanting to pull into a frown.
"Well it seems you've calmed down a little now. That nightmare must be over. But what is haunting you so?" Had he been dreaming? He couldn't even remember. It might have been the massacre or maybe the fight with Naruto when he'd left, the one at the Valley of Death. He rarely had a night without one of those two featuring, sometimes even merging in strange grotesque ways.
"Why do you talk to him, even though he's sleeping?" A polite yet demanding inquiry.
Minato chuckled all the same before replying. "I forget that you don't sleep Gaara-kun."
Gaara?! What was the deal with that? Last thing Sasuke remembered was Gaara attacking the village. And KUN no less?
"I'm not used to the adjustments you made to my seal as of yet. I can still hear m-moth–" Gaara cut off suddenly and sighed before finishing with a somewhat curt "Shukaku. But it's not the same as before. I can shut him out now."
"And that is what Sasuke-kun wanted for you. It's the same as his seal. He can choose to listen to the nine-tails or he can ignore him."
Sasuke chose that moment to 'wake up'. He sucked in a lungful of air and let it out with a groggy groan. "Ah." Minato exclaimed happily, in a slightly louder tone. "The medic said you should be waking up around now. How do you feel Sasuke-kun? That lightning jutsu really did a number on you. I suggest you leave that one only for extreme emergencies."
Sasuke blinked his eyes to focus better, looking around the small private room that was able to house two beds, with both being occupied. He looked towards the bed next to him and noted that Gaara was staring at him, a few bandages constricting, and contrasting on his pale skin here and there, poking through his hospital gown. The Suna Jinchuriki was seated on the edge of the bed and Sasuke had to give him credit on his ability to move without making a sound, considering if Minato-oyaji had assumed the red head to be asleep he couldn't have been sitting earlier.
"I feel fine." Sasuke replied softly, completely at ease in Minato's presence. "Are you alright?" The concern he felt for Minato was very real, yet as the Sasuke of a different world, a world in which Namikaze Minato no long existed, it was safe to assume that this concern was the influence of the Sasuke trapped within his mind. With that Sasuke still 'alive' so to speak, it meant that there was a possible transference of emotions.
"Me? I'm right as rain. You broke through that barrier in the nick of time. The past Hokage, while in a weakened state, are still no laughing matter, even for me. They really are something." Minato sighed wistfully. Perhaps it was time to start training again. Peaceful times or not, he needed to grow. It didn't help to remain stagnant. His enemies sure wouldn't.
"So, what happened with you?" Sasuke asked, looking towards Gaara.
"Gaara-kun came to, after he was knocked out in the arena, and saw some Iwa-nin trying to capture his siblings. It would appear that in the heat of battle, some lines were blurred. Well that and it appears that Kankuro-san and Temari-san had decided to help some of your classmates against the invading ninja. Gaara-kun, after your inspiring speech, decided to begin repairing his relationships with his sibling, was defending his siblings as well as Konoha." Minato smiled warmly at the Suna genin and Gaara looked down with the smallest of blushes spreading across his cheeks. "I looked into his seal once the commotion died down and made one or two adjustments after having a stern talking to with Shukaku. He's surprisingly not too bad once you get to talking to him. Ah well if you ignore the threats to your life. But the Kyuubi has a sharper tongue so I didn't mind it all that much."
This man . . . he spoke of the tailed beasts as though they were his children and he was trying to discipline them. He did not show fear towards them. In fact there was a level of affection and familiarity in his tone that Sasuke had never heard from anyone else. Not even those who wished to exploit the beasts for their chakra potential.
"I see." Sasuke couldn't help his own smile. He looked at Gaara and his heart felt the first stirrings of warmth. This Shinobi in front of him, had lived a hard life. One similar to his own, even in his original reality. They were alike in many ways. "I am happy to be able to count you as one of my precious people, Gaara-kun." Sasuke stated as warmly as he could. "I apologise for knocking you out during the exam." At this he ducked his head in embarrassment.
"Don't apologise so shamefully, such an emotion is unbecoming on you, Uchiha Sasuke." Gaara chided with a huff. "Be the proud ninja that reflects in your eyes. I have sensed a taxing conflict within you since we met . . . Although you put on a good show."
Gaara's speech patterns were strangely humble and well-spoken when he wasn't in an all-consuming rage. Sasuke just blinked at him before a small smile tugged at his lips. "Be true to myself huh?" Sasuke couldn't very well say that being his true self wouldn't harm those around him. But, then again, he'd changed somewhat since coming here. His all-consuming quest for vengeance had definitely calmed. He'd have to take some time to re-evaluate what he wanted in life.
"Something like that." Gaara stated before moving to lie down on the hospital bed, a trickle of sand moving to the space above his head where it appeared the Suna genin was using it to amuse himself.
"What happened to the village, and Naruto?" Sasuke asked quietly.
"Well Iwa and Suna have retreated, while most of Sound was wiped out. They were a stubborn bunch and a few of my trusted advisors recommended a no mercy policy on those that Orochimaru had used in his experiments and I agreed. There is no salvation for them. Even if they were only victims." Minato's face darkened, his eyes growing cold. It was hard to believe he could be so cold. Then again, it only further strengthened Sasuke's assumption that the man was bipolar. "Naruto. Well he's in an especially broody mood. See, you pretty much always display a skill level that is inconsistent and you confuse him. He doesn't enjoy that. He also doesn't enjoy being so far behind you."
"So chances are, he'll leave Konoha." Sasuke mumbled.
"There will be efforts made to prevent this, but Sasuke, we cannot force him. If he wants to leave, he will find a way eventually and by standing in his way, by locking him up, we will never be able to bring him back. He'll only want to leave all the more for it." Minato sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "I've tried talking to him, but he has grown so cold and distant. More so with every passing day. Sometimes I catch him rubbing at that blasted curse mark. I wanted to look at it, but he wouldn't let me. I don't know how to bring him back."
"I won't give up on him Minato-Oyaji. He wouldn't give up on me if our positions were reversed. I'll follow him to the ends of the Elemental Nations and if he leaves I'll bring him back, every time. Just promise me, there will always be a place for him here." Sasuke stated fiercely.
Minato eyed him contemplatively before placing a hand on his head and ruffling the dark spikes affectionately with another warm smile. "It's good to know he has someone on his side, Sasuke-kun." But just as suddenly as the blond had smiled, his demeanour cooled once more. "Just keep in mind Sasuke, some people don't want to be helped."
Minato stood then and walked to the door, "Stay here for a little longer, keep Gaara company. I must get back to the Tower. Be good now." Minato smiled brightly and gently closed the door as he left.
Fricken bipolar Namikaze.
Sasuke huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't missed the fact that Minato hadn't promised that there would always be a place for Naruto should he leave and that scared the Uchiha more than he'd like to have admitted. He'd once nearly caved and returned to Konoha, but the fear of being turned away had driven him to stay with Orochimaru, to proverbially, lie in the bed he'd made.
–Does Minato think that Naruto is his problem to solve? How does one make Naruto stay? As Minato said, simply bringing him back isn't going to work. Does Minato think he should have tried harder with Naruto? I can't be certain until I know why Naruto wants revenge. –
Sasuke placed his hands behind his head and looked to the ceiling. He had time on his hands. Time to reflect. He wasn't sure how long he'd been out for but judging on how his body felt, it was more than a day, perhaps two.
Things in this world were not the same as in his world. Figured. It should have been obvious to him from the moment he had landed in this world but he'd clung to the Naruto he had known, not willing to give him up just as he'd been unwilling to kill the blond.
Also, he was his own person, completely removed from the Sasuke of this world other than in body and the occasional spill over emotions and habits. Why wouldn't he try to cling to his own world, his own sense of individuality?
That in mind, having the fox and the other Sasuke in his mind meant that he would have a chance for answers. Why was Naruto the way he was?
The fox had to know something, even if the little Sasuke did not. However, the Kyuubi didn't look like the sharing type. But maybe, having little Sasuke around so much put him in a more generous mood. Maybe. Probably not.
Closing his eyes Sasuke pulled his consciousness inward. It was way past time for some answers and he intended to get some. Even if he had to hunt down the moody blond himself and punch them out of him.
The soft sounds that had been around him faded away, sounds he'd only realised were there due to the utter silence that surrounded him now. Sasuke opened his eyes, once again his mental image reflecting his true age and appearance. With a frown and a glare directed at his clothing, Sasuke wondered if he was able to change it. He'd only worn the shirt because it gave him easy access to the bat like claws that doubled as wings Orochimaru's curse seal had given him. The rope made a great belt as well as kept his sword in place.
He tried to form a picture of himself in his mind, a picture of him wearing the standard Uchiha casual attire. Simple black clothing with the crest on the back. Clothing that Itachi had worn often.
"So you thought those clothes were stupid too?" A voice behind him teased.
Sasuke ignored the little version of himself and walked towards the fox's cage. He'd reasoned that since this was the mind, what he looked like was up to him. He knew he could have asked the little Sasuke why Naruto was such a teme, but taking his own Naruto into consideration, Sasuke didn't think the younger Uchiha would know.
–Well, it would be rather unlikely. –
Wait . . . actually there was something he could ask the little baka.
"Why are we no longer in the Clan?" Sasuke stopped suddenly and turned to face the other Uchiha who back pedalled slightly at the sudden change. "What happened on the night we broke Itachi's leg?" Sasuke's tone was every bit as dead as it usually was in his own reality, the emotions of the little Sasuke not influencing him at the moment. It was strangely a refreshing feeling. It had a calming effect, allowed him to think more clearly. More clearly than he had in weeks.
The goofy grin on Naru-Sasuke's face vanished and the Uchiha looked away with a pout. His eyes showed more understanding than what anyone in this world would have given him credit for, eyes darkening as sadness replaced the happy sparkle.
"That, wasn't what I wanted to happen." Little Sasuke stated quietly, shamefully. "I wasn't having the best of days." The older Uchiha shifted slightly, but didn't reply. It was in his experience that remaining silent served to prompt the speaker to keep talking. It made them think their answer wasn't sufficient so they said more, which is what Sasuke wanted.
"Itachi-nii was on a mission, so he wasn't there to keep the others away." Little Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. "They didn't hurt me, not really. But they weren't nice to me either. Even though I am an Uchiha, like them. The other Clansmen, they've always treated me different, but it isn't the same different that they treat Itachi like."
Talking to this version of himself almost made the older Sasuke want to pinch the bridge of his nose. Way too much like Naruto, grammar and all.
"They look at me with this expression in their eyes . . ." Little Sasuke's voice trailed off and his shoulders tensed. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve such a look." He whispered quietly to himself. "And they say things about me, I know they're talking about me, but they get really quiet when I go near them." All the things that Little Sasuke spoke of, it mirrored the kind of life Naruto had had to endure. A similarity in a world that was becoming very quickly alien to him.
"Parents would pull their kids away from me, my own parents wouldn't even look at me. I'd try to get Kaa-san's attention and she'd cringe away from me, as though I'd hurt her." Little Sasuke's voice had become strained, even though he was fighting back the tears. "It just never made any sense. And Itachi-nii, he'd try to distract me, he'd try to hide it from me. But he wasn't always there. Otou-san and Kaa-san would try to keep Itachi-nii away from me too. He had missions more and more often and I got to see him less. Things got worse. And that time, the older kids from the academy, they were being more mean than usual. Fuzzbutt says that he thinks they'd stolen some saki from somewhere." Little Sasuke paused with a small sniffle as the puzzle was brought up in his mind once more, little brows furrowing together in confusion.
"Obito, Shisui, they're in ANBU, so they're not around much anymore are they?" Sasuke stated quietly, keeping the coldness in his tone to as minimal as possible.
"Yeah, they're really important to Minato-oyaji so they're always helping in the village. They stop by when they can but I get it that they can't. It's part of being a ninja." Little Sasuke's smile was pained. "Anyway, they started getting forceful. Said they were training, helping me since I was so hopeless at the academy, said I was a disgrace to the Uchiha crest I wore. It felt different from all the other times they were being mean to me. The guards were looking but they weren't coming to help me. I tried to fight back but, I really am as hopeless as they say. I started getting scared when I couldn't even stand anymore, no matter how much I tried. I mean I was scared before but I didn't want to admit it, it wasn't shinobi like. Besides I figured they'd leave me alone before long. But they didn't. There were six of them and they just kept hitting me and hitting me. Over and over until I couldn't breathe, couldn't see cause of the blood. I just curled into a ball, waiting for them to go away."
This was very much unlike Naruto. This was a broken child, that had had an entire family surrounding him but none that cared to love him. Naruto had had to fight for any recognition he had. He didn't have family. Family was supposed to automatically love you. This child didn't have that. He only had the knowledge that family was supposed to love you and his did not. It might have been that little Sasuke hadn't cared much for the other villagers' scorn, seeing only the disdain the Uchiha treated him with.
And it had been so much worse because the Uchiha had been family.
The villagers, they were strangers but Clan was Clan, regardless of what they did. Even Sasuke knew that. Madara may have been traitorous scum to the Uchiha but he was still defended. He was still Uchiha.
Little Sasuke wouldn't have fought back, not really. Fighting back would give them all the physical proof that he was the monster they all feared him to be, fighting back would only further alienate him from the love he was entitled to, as a clansmen. Fighting back would destroy his chance at being accepted by his parents.
"And suddenly there were so many people. Watching, just standing there as I was being beaten. They were shouting things at me, laughing cheering. More people joined in. Kyuubi says it was like the damn had been broken, the restraint stretched to its limits. Like a small pebble that causes a big ripple in a pond of water. And something inside of me began to burn. It was only later that I realised I was angry. Angry at them for doing that to me when I didn't deserve it. Angry that they were mocking my pain. I was enraged that they were laughing at me, and encouraging the harming of a fellow Leaf civilian, fellow clansmen. I had heard several cracks by this point, felt it as my bones were being crushed and still no one would help me. No one would stop them. I cried out and I pleaded, I shouted and screamed, even though I tried not to. I sobbed and whimpered." Little Sasuke grit his teeth, words coming out faster and faster before he suddenly stopped. He took several calming breaths, closing his eyes. A sad smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
"Yet they just got worse. . ." Little Sasuke paused to suck in a lungful of air.
"I broke when I saw the one person who was most precious to me other than Minato-Oyaji and Itachi-nii. They were watching from a distance, I saw them for the briefest of moments but it was her, Okaa-san. And she didn't help me." Little Sasuke stopped, his fist clenching as his shoulders shook. He sounded utterly defeated, ready to just slump to the floor and hope for nothing less than to fade away.
"Suddenly the world was red, and a rage I had never felt before was unleashed upon the clan. The ground was torn into by a violent red chakra, my chakra. Those closest to me, the six other pre-genin and the few others that had joined in were burned to death instantly. I knew they had died, but I had no desire to stop, no desire to gain control. I was unrestrained, free and for the first time, they had a reason to look at me like that. I wasn't scared anymore. I wasn't hurting."
"The seal cracked . . . How many were killed?" Sasuke asked, keeping the surprise out of his tone. He'd thought the seal had cracked in wave, but thinking back now, what he'd done when he'd used the Kyuubi's power was nowhere near as destructive as what Naruto had done.
"Too many." Little Sasuke's gaze was haunted as he answered. "Itachi-nii had been on his way back. He didn't like being away too long. He arrived to a home splattered in the blood of his clansmen and to a monster of an Otouto. And the first thing he did was try to hug me, try to tell me everything was going to be okay. He knew right away what had happened. He knew. But still, he treated me like the precious little brother as he always had. Even though my hands were bloody claws, and my eyes will filled with all the hatred of the Uchiha."
"As soon as I saw him I realised what I'd done, what I'd become and I couldn't face him. So I pushed him away, growing angrier when he persisted. I hit him, and he crashed through several walls. He was lucky to have only broken his leg, or so I'm told." Little Sasuke paused to swallow, before continuing quietly. "I had become the monster they called me when they thought I couldn't hear. I had become the thing they were all so scared of. I couldn't bear to face myself anymore. How could I hope to become Hokage when I had done that, when I had no control over myself?"
So that explained why there had been toothpaste on the mirror when he'd first woke up in this reality.
But the bleach and other chemical smells he'd picked up on when he'd first entered the bathroom? What was that? Had little Sasuke been trying to clean the bathroom or himself?
The mindscape had been dull and lifeless before, but Sasuke realised that the younger Uchiha's darkening emotions were starting to affect the space around them. The water at their feet became murky and thick, the walls were beginning to show patches of rust and mould. Looking down the corridors made the older Uchiha want to shudder at the pure darkness that radiating from the unlit unknowns. It had gotten darker in the mindscape, physically and emotionally.
"Minato-oyaji said it wasn't my fault, that the cracking of the seal was like trying to stop the rain from falling and that I had no way to control the rage that had taken over. He said it wouldn't happen again, that he wouldn't let it." Little Sasuke continued sadly.
"But it didn't matter, you'd already lost control. It was too late. The people, they treated you differently. Their worst fears were confirmed." Sasuke stated quietly, gently putting a hand on the little Uchiha's shoulder. "Your only hope was to become strong and to prove that you were worth something, to prove that you weren't the demon sealed within you."
The adults, usually so conserved and up tight would have delighted in the sudden change of events. With Itachi out of the picture and unable to keep the bullies away, with the children –those who did not know any better– being the ones to start the whole event, it gave the event new meaning to the adults. It meant they could get away with it. It was the children, they'd reason. They don't know any better. They got into the saki. They were even more in out of their depths. They didn't understand. It meant they didn't have to be held accountable for something they had all been wanting to do for far too long. The Uchiha had received a lot of trouble for the Kyuubi attack, this world probably didn't have it any different in that regard.
"I left because I no longer deserved to be a part of the Uchiha."
Sasuke sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. Fixing things with Naruto was going to take some doing, but fixing things within the village, well that was going to take more. It didn't help that he'd been so suspicious lately.
Still, he had to know what had happened to Naruto.
"It's going to be okay." Sasuke stated quietly, pulling the little Sasuke into a hug. He didn't know what else to do, and was leaning on his assumptions of what Sakura would have done. "I'll fix it."
.0.0.0.
"What do the reports say?" Minato asked wearily, not bothering to read them himself as the words would just swim off the page with how exhausted he was.
Tsunade cocked her head to the side, regarding the blond Hokage carefully. She peered over the rim of her glasses shrewdly, before she sighed and pulled the grey frames off.
"The Gaki knew what he was doing. In short, the jutsu while dangerous, did not damage him to the point where he'd never be a Shinobi again. He won't even have any lasting damage. But it is something of a last resort type jutsu. He knew the cost it would have, the toll it would take on his body. It puts him in a state of chakra exhaustion that only Hatake is stupid enough to willingly go into. If he's ever in a situation where he's desperate enough to use that jutsu, he better not miss." Tsunade stated tonelessly.
The medic nin was something of a recluse, only really having the patience for her apprentice Shizune. She stayed in Konoha for the hospital, but that was it. She didn't leave the place. Everything she needed was in this room. There were two doors opposite the desk they sat at, one led to a bedroom and the other led to a bathroom. An open doorway led to a small kitchenette and the front room was the Senju's office.
Nothing more was needed.
The only other place Tsunade frequented was the adjoining room on the left that was a research lab.
Tsunade watched the quiet contemplation flash through Minato's eyes for a moment before deciding to make some tea. She'd rarely seen that colour in the blonde's eyes and she never wanted to see it.
The more stressed the man got, the more worried and exhausted he became, the more crystalline and unreal the blue irises became. A truthfully hauntingly beautiful sight.
The last time she'd seen the man's eyes this silvery blue, was the night his wife and the Sandiame had died.
"I don't know what to do, Tsunade-hime." Minato whispered as he took the teacup offered to him. He remained silent for a moment, staring into the depths of the steaming liquid, watching the tiny ripples the shaking in his hands caused. "I'm about to lose everything."
Tsunade closed her eyes, hands folded beneath her chin. She had to deal with a great many things, but this? She didn't have the emotional capacity to handle this. It was half the reason she never had children, it was the reason she never took on a genin team. She didn't sigh, like she wanted to, instead she opened her eyes, looking to the man who's eyes seemed to have grown a shade lighter.
"You talking about the Gaki, or your baka son?"
Minato barked a harsh laugh, eyes moving away as a hand swiped through his hair.
"That baka son of mine might just be justified in his anger, Tsunade. I haven't really done a great job in raising him. I was foolish, self-centred." The younger blond sighed. He took a tentative sip before looking up again, eyes having once again grown a shade lighter. "I never did that boy justice. I ruined everything." Mianto stated. "He's going to leave and there's nothing I can do to stop him. It's too late for me to do anything."
"Enough of that." Tsunade waved a hand impatiently. The man was allowed to have his moments, his small self-doubts and breakdowns. But if they let him, he'd fall apart and there'd be no way to put him back together again. "Have faith in your Shinobi Minato. Besides, it's never too late to change what is. Didn't you always say that?"
Truthfully, he hadn't said that since Kushina's death but it was still there.
Minato glanced at her through his lashes, a deep frown on his features. The Senju couldn't help the urge to shiver, fear spreading through her limbs and urging her to run. She watched as his eyes darkened to the cold steel disks she was used to seeing during the war, and for months after Kushina's death. A coldness that drove her heart to start pounding erratically, drove her hands to seek the comfort of a kunai, drove her mind to think more sharply than it had a moment before – seeking all the exists.
"Sometimes I wonder if Sarutobi should have let me take the cowardly path I had wanted to take all those years ago." Minato shifted his gaze and Tsunade felt the air rushing back into her lungs. "I don't think I've ever stopped being a coward since that night. I often find myself angry at the old fool for taking the easy way out, for leaving me this mess to deal with. If he'd done what he was supposed to do when he found out about Orochimaru–"
"I said that's enough!" Tsunade barked waspishly, giving the younger blond a cold glare of her own. "Don't you ever speak of the actions of the past Hokage like that again!"
"Oh please. You want to tell me that the old fool didn't resent Tobirama's decision to run off and be the hero." Minato snapped.
Tsunade had had to deal with many Hokage in her life. Her grandfather had been one, her grandfather's brother had been one, her sensei had been one, and her teammate's student was now one. She knew that should anything happen to Minato, either she or Jiraiya would be asked to take up the hat.
As such, she also knew that despite the honour and the glory that came with the hat, they really did resent having it at one point or another. This seemed to be a rather slow point in Konoha history for the blond to be having his resentments now. But perhaps it was a build up from the last couple of years or so.
Secretly she had hoped that Minato would be different, that he wouldn't be affected by the burden of his title.
Yet, Orochimaru had once said that Minato was like the Yellow Flash he was named after in more ways than just his jutsu. He was the kind of Shinobi that was brilliant and all-consuming in their presence. A flash of bright, radiating, yellow.
"But a flash, by its very definition, was never meant to last forever." Orochimaru had slurred, drunk and angry at having been passed over for the position of Hokage.
"Be that as it may, what's done is done. Giving up your title now won't fix much. Who would you give it to?" Tsunade huffed, trying to appeal to the logical side of the Yondaime.
"You."
He hadn't even hesitated.
"I don't want that execrable thing. Give it to Jiraiya." Tsunade didn't like the conviction that Minato had displayed. He hadn't even stopped to think.
"He wouldn't take it and you know it. He feels too sorry about Orochimaru." Mianto slumped suddenly. "I suppose there's always Itachi-kun, and Obito-kun has always expressed a veiled desire to be the Hokage. Kakashi-kun might be a little too stiff natured at times. I had hoped a genin team would have helped but it's only made him more suspicious in nature. Shisui has the experience and he's intelligent enough. Perhaps Shisui."
Tsunade didn't respond, waiting to see where Minato was going with his rambling thoughts.
"If I wasn't spending so much time being Hokage, then I could spend more time with Naruto, develop those bonds needed to keep him in the village." Minato sighed. And there it was, the reason Minato was beating himself up so much.
"You think it'll be worth it? You took that title knowing what it would mean for your family. I don't think pulling out now will make Naruto more patient towards you."
"Being Hokage, it made me react towards her death a whole lot differently than what I should have. I didn't do what was right. I did what was best for everyone but me and my family." Minato's gaze grew even more tortured. "I made too many mistakes and I don't know how to fix them."
Tsunade felt herself thinking back to that night, the night Minato became a different person altogether. She didn't blame Minato for how he handled things. A lesser man wouldn't have made it through the ordeal. As it was, it changed him.
She didn't blame him, a lot of people didn't. But she hoped for Konoha's sake as well as the Yondaime's, that Naruto would stay. Yet, every Shinobi involved in the Chunin exams knew better. The boy would leave, and there was nothing they could do to make him want to stay.
"You're far too young and there's too much at stake for you to fall apart now." Tsunade tsked. "My report also shows that the Gaki awakened the Mangekyou. You can't afford to fall apart now. If that Gaki woke those cursed eyes for you, we both know what your death would mean for this village. Even more so, as he appears to have more talent with those eyes than Itachi and Shisui themselves."
Minato's gaze widened a fraction as the meaning of Tsunade's words began to sink in. "Mangekyou? So young? Not even Itachi . . ." His voice trailed off as his thoughts ran rampant. "Naruto is going to leave. I know he is. I can't stop him. I'm too late for that. I don't think anyone will be able to bring him back."
The swift change of focus in topic didn't catch Tsunade off guard. She'd been dealing with grumpy injured Shinobi long enough. Although, the continued repetition of the fact made the Senju cringe.
"Have faith in your Shinobi Minato, have faith in Sasuke."
"Sasuke is just a genin, a child! It's not fair to expect him to fix all my mistakes." Minato fired back, a sudden anger flaring in his eyes and darkening the blue for a moment, before the fire died to cool embers and the crystalline gaze was more vibrant than ever.
The fire was more of a self-directed kind and it worried Tsunade at how high it had seemed to flare. It didn't bode well for what the blonde thought of himself at the moment.
"Stop pouting, Yondaime-sama." Tsunade huffed. "These are your mistakes and it's time you start owning them. You'll never fix them sitting here and crying about it. Go somewhere else and be productive. You are the Hokage for Kami's sake!"
Having no other option other than to treat the man with tough love, Tsunade put on her best glare and directed it at Minato. "If you want Naruto to stay, then tell him. TALK to the boy. It's always an option you still have. TRY everything. Do what you can, while you still have the chance to do so!"
.0.0.0.
"Kyuubi." Sasuke deadpanned, facing the bars that kept the fox's chakra locked away.
"Uchiha."
Sasuke didn't reply, merely boring into the fox with a stern glare, hoping it would annoy the beast into giving him what he wanted. For added measure he activated the Sharingan.
"If you think that's going to work, you're mistaken. I live inside your mind, baka. I know what you want. I know of your insecurities." The Kyuubi moved to stand, towering above Sasuke, meant to intimidate. The Uchiha would be lying if he said it didn't work, at least a little. "However, I agree that in order to preserve your freedom, you will need to know the events of that night. The Namikaze Gaki will leave, you will go after him, facing many strong opponents and this in turn will give me many opportunities to gain my freedom. That is the only reason I will answer you."
"Does it always have to be about what it means to you?" Little Sasuke grumbled from behind the older Uchiha. But he was interested in what the fox had to say all the same. "Can't we just do it because we're stuck with each other so we might as well be friends?"
The Kyuubi didn't even give the brat a response.
Instead he turned to the older Sasuke and looked directly into the Sharingan, red chakra rushing towards the Uchiha at the same time. Sasuke didn't even have time to fight it, let alone know how.
The world around him faded out, little Sasuke shouts of concern dissolving away.
For a moment Sasuke was in the in between world of utter darkness from when Itachi had placed him in the genjutsu during the chunnin exam invasion.
One heart beat . . . two, his breathing a harsh sound in his ears.
He blinked and suddenly the world was slam-dunked in bright colours and loud sounds. A sense of panic and urgency pervaded the world. Sasuke realised this was a memory, seen through the eyes of another.
"This is Uzumaki-Namikaze Kushina's memory. Namikaze Naruto's mother, and my previous jailor." The whispered grumble in his mind was the only explanation he got.
Sasuke watched as the world focused, yet swivelled and changed continuously. She was looking for something. Sasuke realised it the moment he realised where they were. Konoha's shopping district.
"Naruto-kun!" A frantic call in the loud hustle and bustle of the streets around them. "Naruto!" Sasuke sensed what she sensed. She was throwing out her chakra sensors, picking up on signatures that could only be linked to ANBU and something else in and amongst the civilians walking around, something far darker than the carefully cold neutrality of the ANBU Black Ops.
An enemy.
And then there was a tiny spark of happiness, flickering just on the edge of the Kunoichi's awareness and she immediately raced towards it.
Ichiraku Ramen came into view and the relief and irritation Kushina felt flooded into her emotions, calming the raging panicked urgency. Kushina pulled the flaps aside, seeing her tiny son sitting on the shoulders of Teuchi, watching happily as the man made ramen for two customers waiting for their orders.
"Teuchi-san, I see you found something unusual today." Kushina said with a smile as she seated herself in front of the man, doing her best to calm her raging emotions, soaking in the relief of seeing her son safe and sound. Naruto squirmed when he saw her, smiling brightly. "Kaa-chan!" Sasuke guessed that he couldn't have been more than three, maybe four.
The world around him suddenly wavered, then violently jolted before a bright light assaulted his pupils. The sharingan which had been active at the time, strangely, recoiled at such sudden brightness and deactivated so fast it made his head spin.
He lurched to the side and didn't question the fact that a bedpan was promptly shoved into his hands before he emptied the meagre contents of his stomach into the container.
Trying to focus on calming the shaking in his muscles, the Uchiha remained leaning over the edge of the hospital bed a moment longer. –I need some water. But what the heck just happened?!–
"Sasuke-kun?"
Said Uchiha looked up, seeing a concerned Sakura. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd react so violently. I came to see you and I got worried when you weren't responding." She hurriedly added, as though trying to explain herself before the Uchiha could recover and get angry.
"She called a nurse." Gaara explained softly, watching the two, but appearing to do his best to disappear into the background. "The nurse told her to give you a chakra shock, like when you're stuck in a genjutsu. And then she said to shine a light into your eyes to see if your pupils respond."
Sasuke growled in annoyance. "Well that nurse needs to be fired. As I'm an Uchiha they should know better than to give that advice. Although, she probably gave it because of the Ky– Anyway, please don't do that again. The chakra shock can also be used to wake an unconscious ninja. However, it doesn't work the same way when a ninja is in a meditative state. When a ninja is meditating, they need their chakra to be as stable as possible. To disrupt it like that, it can cause repercussions that are as far reaching as destroying the mind, breaking it to the point where they'd become nothing more than a vegetable." Sasuke explained, taking into account what he'd learned from Orochimaru and Kabuto. The latter had a habit of talking while working on experiments.
"If you'd had more chakra, it might have done more damage. As for the Sharingan, since they were active, shining a light directly into them can also damage them. Not all Sharingan are the same, some are weaker than others. Some will never be able to unlock all three tomoe. Some Uchiha never awaken their Sharingan. Some react more slowly. It's all very complicated. If I had to explain exactly why it damages the eyes, we'd be here all day."
"Oh Sasuke, I didn't know. I'm really sorry." Sakura gasped, putting her hands to her mouth, while her eyes began to sparkle.
"It's okay. You didn't know. Maybe you should try learning some medical ninjutsu. Even if you don't become an iro-nin, it's still useful to have someone on the team that has medical knowledge. You might even like it. With your chakra control it'll come easier to you than either Naruto or myself." Sasuke offered a small smile, inwardly angrier about being interrupted. Would the Kyuubi be forgiving, understanding, and allow him to see the memory again?
"I was worried. You weren't responding at all. Not even a little. Gaara-k-kun said that even if you were talking to the Kyuubi, you'd still be able to hear me, or at least sense that I wanted to talk to you." Sakura explained, a tentative glance being sent towards the Suna jinchuriki.
"I was . . . in a memory." Sasuke replied slowly, not sure what to say. Could Sakura tell him what happened? Probably best to leave it as a last resort. If the Kyuubi wasn't willing to help him again. Sakura would have been just as small as Naruto. Would she have even understood what was happening? Was the story common knowledge for all? Had it been destroyed by small minds with little understanding as they gossiped around food stalls in the shopping distract? Gossip that would have passed a watered-down version to overly curious children with an even lesser understanding. "Did you come to visit me?" he asked, looking at her cautiously. Now that he thought about it, why was she here?
"Is Naruto okay?" he asked, curious as to whether the Namikaze had even ended up in the hospital.
"He's fine. Just more moody than usual." Sakura looked to the side, a frown etched into her features. "But I'm not here to talk about him." Sakura was suddenly angry, determined. She moved her gaze back to the Uchiha, daring him to interrupt her.
Sasuke glanced to Gaara and the Suna-nin shrugged before getting off the bed and moving to the door. "I'm going to go find my siblings. I'll be away for . . . awhile. Yes, a long while." He stated absently as he left and Sasuke found himself really wanting to follow the other Jinchuriki.
"So, Gaara huh?" Sakura began, nervously tucking a lock of pink hair behind her ear.
"Don't stall, Sakura. It never suited you." Sasuke sighed. "What do you want?" He moved to sit up more fully before swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. He was technically still recovering but hospitals had never been his thing in the first place. Besides, Minato hadn't said he couldn't get up.
Sakura frowned, moved in front of him and placed a hand on his chest. He looked up at her in surprise, not used to her being so close. "I may not know much about medical ninjutsu but I'm pretty sure you should be staying in bed." Sakura stated firmly, her eyes filled with determination. That look. He hadn't seen it in a while.
Despite himself he smiled, putting a hand over hers. "You really are annoying, Sakura." She wouldn't understand it but he did. She pulled her hand away as though only just realising where it was, seeming to be unsure what to do with it after moving it to her side.
"Yeah well, just stay in bed okay." Sakura huffed, pouting at the wall behind him. "I'm here to talk to you. During the exams, you said things and did things that you shouldn't have been able to. Like how did you know that genin was a traitor?" Sakura hurried on, as though not sure what else to do.
"You mean Kabuto?" Sasuke clarified. "And Orochimaru."
"It's not just that. You did things. Things that Kakashi-sensei and Naruto-kun said should have been impossible, like the Chidori." Sakura waved a hand impatiently as she tried to make her point.
"I see." Sasuke frowned. "I don't suppose you'd leave it alone if I told you Kakashi-sensei taught me that jutsu? As for Kabuto, he was suspicious before the exams began. Why would a seven year veteran of the exams choose to help some rookies? And his info cards are not something that's easy to come by naturally. So he had to have either followed us around, which would have taken a considerable amount of skill on his part. Not to mention someone with that level of observation skills can only be a spy or a very poor interpretation of a genin. Or he broke into the records office, and again that would have taken more skill than what he was letting on." Sasuke explained, not really seeing how Sakura wouldn't have come up with this explanation herself. However, she'd still been more interested in Naruto than the exams. "As for Orochimaru, same as Kabuto, there was just something not normal about the grass-nin that had approached the second proctor. A little bit of observation and I noticed that Kabuto's team and the grass team were very close in the bit of time we had before entering the Forest of Death. They might have been communicating. Same with the Sound team."
"How do you see all this? What makes it so easy for you?" Sakura shook her head and looked away, probably thinking about her own preconceived inadequacies.
"Years of practise." Sasuke smirked and she sent him a glare. And lying never hurt. With hindsight, it was easy to see the things they'd missed the first time. "Seriously though, I'm an Uchiha. How can I not SEE things? I have the Sharingan you know."
"That's another thing, you never told us you had the Sharingan." Sakura accused, her glare growing angrier.
"You've noticed I'm not well liked, correct? Well any indication of power on my part would make those that don't like me nervous. I've got a long way to go before I can win the approval of the village." Sasuke shrugged, looking away to give the impression that it didn't really matter to him.
"So all that in the Academy was just an act?" Sakura seemed to have trouble believing it.
"I guess." Sasuke shrugged again. Truthfully, he couldn't say for sure. The little Sasuke in his mind seemed to be more aware than what Naruto from his original world had been, smarter too. He was just insanely naïvely trusting.
"Oh, you're here."
Sasuke looked to the door, already knowing who he'd see. "Naruto." He greeted tonelessly.
Naruto wasn't looking at him, but rather at Sakura. He had a frown on his features that could almost be described as a sneer of annoyed disgust. Almost. Sasuke narrowed his gaze at the blond, wary of what he wanted. His treatment of Sakura was also upsetting. Not even he had been so cold towards the pinkette.
This whole situation was entirely too odd for him.
He had to stop trying to compare this world with his own. This was not his Naruto, and this was not his Sakura. But in the event that he couldn't ever get back, he needed to find a way to make this world his own.
A thought suddenly occurred to him. What if, he had been underestimating his own coldness and arrogance when he'd left Konoha? After all he'd left, with no thought to return. He'd only desired power, enough so that he'd almost killed Naruto to stop the blond from ever coming after him again, and to gain the power of the Mangekyou.
He'd been willing to kill Naruto.
Could he say that he wasn't as this Naruto was? That anger, the lust for power, both were things he'd been feeling when he left. But there was definitely a disregard for the village and its occupants. ALL of its occupants.
There had been the slight nagging regret but every time Itachi had come to mind, that regret was instantly washed away. So what drove Naruto so strongly?
"Are you well?" Naruto asked, his tone suggesting that he couldn't care less whether Sasuke was the dirt on his sandal or Kami himself.
"I haven't seen a medic yet but I'm assuming I am." Sasuke replied, not giving in to the impulse to get angry. It just wasn't worth it at this point. Naruto humphed before picking up the chart at the end of the bed. His eyes roamed through the information before he flipped the page and repeated. "Your medic-nin was Tsunade, you're fine." Naruto informed him. Sasuke found that to be surprising as he hadn't known that the medic was in Konoha.
"That being said, I wish to challenge you." Naruto continued. "I want to know how my strength measures up to yours." That was the first statement he'd said where Sasuke didn't want to punch his face if only because he'd said it so seriously.
"Challenge me? To a spar?" Sasuke questioned, raising a brow at the blond.
"Yes, as in a spar. Taijutsu, ninjutsu, kenjutsu." Naruto replied, his features growing more stoic as though he was trying to hold back a sneer.
Sasuke considered the Namikaze in front of him carefully. He knew that a spar would not help matters. In fact it would only worsen them. Declining it would make Naruto even angrier. So really it was a lose-lose situation. The only thing he thought would help in his situation would be to do what he wanted to do.
When he'd challenged Naruto in his world, he'd done it to acknowledge the blond, to accept his growing strength. This felt different. He wasn't sure what Naruto wanted.
"My apologies Naruto, but I'm going to decline the offer. I should recover fully before engaging in a spar with you." Sasuke replied looking away. He didn't want to see the disapproving glare, the slowly rising anger – the confirmation that Naruto would leave anyway, no matter if he threw the spar to make Naruto happy or not.
"Decline?" It was Naruto's turn to raise a brow. "I thought you'd –" But he didn't finish, didn't allow himself to.
He nodded once and turn back towards the door. Without another word he left.
"Why did you say no?" Sakura asked quietly.
"Because it doesn't matter what I do. His eyes tell me that he's already made up his mind and nothing I do right now is going to change that." Sasuke replied, trying his best to keep the frustration out of his voice.
.0.0.0.
Naruto ignored the approaching footsteps as he continued to drop little pebbles into the water. Each stone landing with a plink-plop, a drop of water never failing to shoot up and then land back into the water a moment later.
"Naruto-kun, it's getting late." Minato stopped just behind him, not daring to move a step closer in case it annoyed his son enough that the boy would just leave.
"Why didn't you avenge her?" Naruto asked suddenly, eyes staying on the pebbles.
Minato didn't reply immediately. He sighed heavily, moving to the edge of the docks and sitting down, leaving his feet to swing over the edge. The bottom of his shoes just – just – touched the water's surface, sending ripples across it.
"I wanted to. Kami knows I wanted to. I was consumed with the idea. So much so that I was ready to give my life to it, Hokage responsibilities be damned." Minato answered softly, eyes not leaving Naruto watching the boy's reaction to his words.
"That wasn't good enough." Naruto snapped, pinning the Yondaime with furious blue eyes. "Wanting to isn't enough."
"But it's a start." Minato remained calm, inwardly elated that they were actually having a conversation, even if it was more snaps and growls. But the snaps and growls were still more than usual. "But when your mind becomes so consumed with revenge, you no longer see things clearly. I was reminded that there is more to life than revenge several times before the message sank in."
"What could be more important?" Naruto's tone had become small, questioning, filled with a world of suffering he should never had had to feel.
"The village was under attack. Not physically but mentally. The whole village believed that the Uchiha were in part responsible. They alienated them, disrespected the clan. I was too consumed with my grief and revenge to realise that the Uchiha were planning a coup. They were unhappy with the way the village had grown so cold towards them, a village they helped create. Their coup would have thrown the village into a state of war not seen since long before its creation. It would have thrown the Shinobi Nations into a war we could not afford, not with the last one having ended so soon before the coup started."
"Children like you, and your graduating class would have suffered the most during that war. Most villages are reliant on the genin to come. If there are no genin, or very little, for even one generation . . . it could destroy an entire village." Minato paused, the pain of the very idea pinching his features.
"So you stopped the coup. That much is obvious, why didn't you avenge her after that?" Naruto glared at the last remaining pebbles, never having imagined that his father would have had actual reasons for not doing as the younger blond believed he should have.
"I didn't stop the coup. I didn't care about the coup. I couldn't be bothered about the Uchiha and their unhappiness. I was in a world where my heart wanted everyone to feel the darkness that had filled my soul. I was burning with a rage I had not felt before, and it was all-consuming. My only concern at that point was to avenge her. To rid this world of those that had done us such agonising injustice. I dreamed of nothing else other than to send them to the Shinigami himself so that they may pay for what they had taken from me, from you."
Naruto looked to his father in surprise. He hadn't known his father had felt any of this. Hearing this, made him realise that his father was more human than the village would ever allow him to appear. He was the Godly Yondaime. He had no weaknesses. He was the all merciful, all giving Hokage of the Village hidden in the Leaves and those good, honest, traits had only made the young Namikaze despise the man more.
"Itachi, Shisui, Obito and Jiraiya had taken charge. Little Obito was far too young to have had to make the decision he had at that time, but I definitely didn't care at that point. All three of those Uchiha brats were. But Itachi and Shisui, they went to Jiraiya while Obito began to research into the laws that bound the Uchiha to the Konoha Military Police forces, as well as his own clan laws on the information regarding their eyes." Minato paused, smiling at the memory of what they four had done. "Next thing I knew, Jiraiya was making a huge announcement, big enough for even me to notice. He was writing a book on all the clans in Konoha, a book that included all the general information as well as some lesser known facts about Kekkei Genkais. With Obito's research he knew what he could put in the book about the Sharingan. It was enough to start quelling the citizens and Shinobi's fear of the Uchiha. But it wasn't enough to dissipate it."
"There's a book like that?" Naruto asked, eyes wide and his attention completely on his father despite his not wanting to appear that way. "Does it have stuff about our family?"
"Of course. There are several copies in the Academy and the library. The book actually sparked the Academy to assign the pre-genin a task that included clans going to each other and talking, interacting. The pre-genin were required to hand in a report about it all. And it worked some more. The children from different clans suddenly coming to the Uchiha clan forced a lot of adults to play nice, and in the end get along with each other a lot better than what they believed was possible. That calmed the Uchiha somewhat." Minato continued, gaze distant as he reflected on the events. "But what really closed the deal was what Itachi did with the Konoha Military police force. As the Clan Heir, he had the authority to change one rule. He chose the rule that stated only one non-Uchiha could join the police force for every 20 Uchiha policemen. He chose to change it so anyone could join. A lot of genin that didn't have the ability to become chunin, or chunin that didn't want to be jonin, could suddenly join. Civilians that hadn't been able to become genin could join. It was such a change that it stopped the coup in its tracks. To my knowledge, the idea hasn't been revived since."
"So, that's great and all. But it doesn't tell me what you did during all that." Naruto pointed out moodily.
"I was forcibly confined. Those nights I never came home, the times where you thought I'd drowned myself in my work, I was really being held in one of the Konoha prison cells on Jiraiya's orders, and yes he has that kind of power and influence." Minato admitted, his tone dark and his expression unreadable.
Only in that moment did Naruto realise that his father hadn't referred to Jiraiya in a familiar manner. Not since before that night. If he thought really hard about it, he could maybe say that his father only referred to Jiraiya as his sensei when the man was in the room and that might have been habit.
"I had begun capturing Shinobi of other Nations, torturing them for information. I judged them all as guilty without any proof. I destroyed so many men and women during that time, before Jiraiya stopped me, that there will be no redemption for me. Still I never did find out who was responsible, who had been so brazen to do what they did."
Naruto felt the killing intent beginning to roll off his father in small unmonitored waves and did his best to brace himself. A small bubble of fear settled in his chest and he felt the urge to back away from Minato, an urge he squashed before he acted upon it.
"When word of the coup reached me I didn't care. I wanted out. I wanted to raze the other Elemental Nations to the ground. Oh and I would have. I could have. I had the perseverance, the knowledge. I was quite possibly insane by this point. Inoichi and Ibiki were forced to watch me day and night, forced to try and piece my mind together one brutalising session after the next. I was still the Hokage after all and the people I was supposed to be protecting didn't know what I had become." Minato chuckled darkly making Naruto wonder just who the man in front of him was.
"It wasn't just the coup. Orochimaru's labs were being discovered, his pathetic experiments – no victims – were coming to light. Danzou, that pitiful old fool, was dabbling in other villages and even Konoha's affairs that had nothing to do with him. So many things that required my attention and I didn't have the state of mind to do anything about it."
"What brought you back?" Naruto whispered, his eyes wide, his heart racing. The killing intent had risen, going higher and more intense than anything Naruto had ever felt before. Even from Orochimaru.
"I never did come back Naruto-kun. I am a broken man, forced to play the role of a God until one of those Uchiha brats agrees to take the hat. Or Tsunade-hime. One of them needs to take the responsibility so that I may fall apart as I have wanted to for all these years." And just like that, the God among men was nothing more than a mouse among snakes. The killing intent dissolved, the hard steel grey of the Hokage's eyes darkened to an azure no less crystalline. "But ultimately, what allowed me to be some semblance of a human being agian, was you. Kakashi came to see me only once while I was locked away. He asked Inoichi one favour and that's all he did. He asked the Yamanaka to link his mind to my own despite being heavily advised against it. Inoichi knew what my mind was like, knew what Kakashi would find. But he insisted." Minato looked and sounded exhausted. He didn't continue for a minute or two, simply staring at the ripples the tips of his shoes made in the water.
Naruto didn't interrupt the silence. He used it to calm his racing heart, to organise his addled thoughts.
"He showed me you. He showed me what I'd given up when I'd chosen to let the revenge consume me. The bastard then locked my mind in a genjutsu, leaving everything I knew about you to play over and over again until I was nothing more than a begging sobbing mess in the corner of the cell. I begged them to bring you. Pleaded to know how you were."
Naruto had no memories of a broken father so it was his assumption that he hadn't gone to visit. Or those memories had been taken from him.
"Jiraiya, I've never seen him look so disappointed in me." Minato whispered, looking utterly destroyed, as broken as Naruto was starting to see him as. "He continued to punish me. He refused to let me see you. I suppose he meant well enough. Imagine what you'd have seen. A man who was supposed to be your strong proud father, but instead a miserable being of chaos." Minato let out a bark of humourless laughter. "Still I never did forgive the sannin for what he did. He doesn't know it though. I treat him as I did before, laugh with him and ask for his advice, like a good student. But I will never forget what he did to me, what he took from me."
"So he's the one that stopped you from avenging her?" Naruto asked carefully, not sure how to approach his father. He wasn't sure what to say to the man either.
"No. In the end I had to clean up my act. The realities of what was happening in the village in my absence and the fact that I wanted to see you had begun to set in. My own cursed sense of obligation and responsibility took hold again, and . . . I realised that she wouldn't have wanted me to be like that, to act like that." Minato admitted, his entire demeanour snapping back to the Yondaime Hokage that the village knew and loved. His eyes sharpened, his shoulders pulled back as his posture straightened and his tone became contemplative and thoughtful giving off an air of wisdom.
It was then that Naruto realised his father had never truly become sane again. He pretended to be for the good of those around him, and he wondered just what his father became when no one was looking. At the same time Naruto realised just how deep Minato's devotion to the village ran. Even in insanity he put the village first.
If his father was insane . . . . . Come to think of it, weren't all the Shinobi just a little insane? Anko, Kakashi-sensei, Obitio, Ikibi-san, Haku, Zabuza . . . The list was endless.
Those that were the most normal didn't leave the village, like Iruka-sensei. Was that because they couldn't cut it? Were they all destined to become just as insane as the Yondaime?
"My point is Naruto-kun, I wanted nothing more than to rip the enemy limb from limb but I realised that doing that wouldn't bring her back. It wouldn't have even made me feel better because let's face it, goals and aspirations as simple and straight forward as revenge, well they only end one way. With death. And when you kill those you set out to kill, you'll have nothing left. You'll have nothing to stand for, nothing to look forward to. You won't even have the people you left behind because eventually life moves on." Minato ruffled the younger Namikaze's hair. "You and I may walk in the path of darkness, but everyone else walks in the sun. They won't wait for us forever. We must choose our paths carefully."
"But you are the sun." Naruto blurted out before he could stop himself.
Minato laughed, a full-belly cheerful laugh that belied the malevolent tones and topics of their conversation. "Oh some say that, mostly those in Konoha. You have not been to Iwa yet. They see me as the worst kind of evil. Think of the jutsus I'm most known for. Children see me as the monster that hides under their beds or in their closets."
Naruto frowned, realising as well that he was miles behind his father. A realisation that did not sit well with him.
"I know you said that you're a shinobi of your word, and I know you said that you wish to surpass me. I will help you do so. You don't need him." Minato touched the curse mark that was just visible, sending a shiver down Naruto's spine.
Naruto pulled away instinctively, a hand moving to clasp the mark. "Why didn't you come see me, after you got let out of the cell?" he demanded.
"I did. But I hadn't yet perfected my mask. Children are the most perceptive creatures. They see everything. So I had to make sure that when I came back to you, I was the father you desperately needed." For a moment the madness was back, peaking through the smile. "Sadly, by the time I had perfected everything, you had already distanced yourself from me. You couldn't stand to be around me. At first I thought it was because despite my best efforts, you knew the truth. But later I realised it was your anger at being abandoned for so long."
"And S-Sasuke?" Naruto dared to ask this, didn't want to hear what Minato would say but needing to know all the same.
"Ah, he was the one that helped me to put the finishing touches on getting my life together. He reminded me that in order to pretend successfully, not all of it had to be a lie. Something had to be truth and he taught me how to smile genuinely again. Don't get me wrong, I grew to truly care for the boy. I blamed myself for the hard life he had to endure, HAS to endure still. I see him as a son that could be your brother. I'd love nothing more than to keep the two of you close to me, always safe and happy." Minato paused, his true concern and puzzlement over all things Uchiha Sasuke reflecting in his features for a moment before he continued. "I think when it was with you, I tried too hard and it just didn't work. Over the years I healed some more. I began to recover, but only a small amount. More and more smiles weren't lies, and when I saw you, it was like everything terrible in my life hadn't happened. I was fixing the hole that had been torn open in my soul. But it will never be fully healed. Never again."
Minato stopped talking and Naruto didn't prompt him to continue. For the younger blond, it was as though his entire world had been turned on its head. He had no idea what to believe anymore. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure what he wanted either.
It was too sudden, too different. His how idea and perspective of his father was spinning around in his head, his thoughts getting louder and louder. Was this all true? Did it really happen? Or was it just a ploy to get him to stay in the village?
Did his father know that he had been planning on going to Orochimaru?
It was like dealing with Sasuke all over again. This uncertainty, this madness that pervaded their every word and action. It was like talking to a completely different person. Naruto grit his teeth and glared at the water.
It was like someone was taking all the people in his life and changing them into impostures and no one could see it except him. There was no way what this 'Yondaime' had told him could be true. His father was the Sun, the brightness of Konoha, he was the hope and joy of all the Land of Fire. He was no insane and bloodthirsty. He was Namikaze Minato, the kind and generous Hokage of Konoha, the child prodigy that had ended the last Shinobi War.
The image that he'd had of his father, the reason he was the man Naruto wanted to surpass, it was all being stained and soiled. It was cracking, dissolving. An anger that stemmed more from the pain of betrayal than the lust for vengeance ignited in his heart and he felt a suspicious prickling in his eyes.
EVERYTHING WAS ALL JUST SO WRONG!
What could he believe in this world? What did he stand for?
"I don't feel like anything you've told me is the truth." Naruto stated quietly before getting up and turning away. "My father is nothing like what you've just described, and if all this was just a ploy to get me to stay, you chose the wrong way to do it."
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