Ghostly bellows of bad dreams brought Selena to the viaduct, one chilly night in October. She wondered why, of all nights, did her nightmares of childhood memories ambush that certain night of tranquility. Not to mention, the previous hours of the day which had been spent with pure delight. Poppy had given her the day off, Merlin knew why, but the matron's supposedly valid account had been along the lines of "You've been working too much." and "You need a break."
That morning, Selena shared it with Hagrid—and occasionally, Fang—as she lent him a hand in carving the harvested pumpkins for the upcoming Halloween celebration. Her lunchtime consisted of pasta and a light-hearted debate with Nearly-Headless-Nick about whether ghosts can catch the Dragon Pox or not, where Selena avidly believed in the latter. She passed the afternoon hours in her natural habitat other than her chambers; In the library, where she quietly drowned in the words of a few Shakespeare sonnets. And after dinner, she was requested to be in the presence of the Headmaster, to whom she fed the content of her event-filled day after being briefed on the Philosopher's Stone and everything related to it, including the 3rd floor corridor and its security measures.
The Mediwizard thought nothing of life except that it was unfair during that very day; For ruining the happiness that sent her to peaceful slumber—or at least, she thought. The candles and torches which earlier illuminated the castle had long been put out, and Selena knew better than to be engulfed in pitch darkness, where she would find anything but solace. So, outside she stood, basking in the moonlight that cannot be dimmed.
Footfalls were suddenly approaching on her left, and when her head snapped in the direction of the sound, she relaxed upon discerning Severus' figure camouflaging in the dark surroundings.
"Didn't scare me this time, Professor." Humoured Selena, hoarsely, and she inaudibly winced at it, afterwards. The potioneer raised a brow as he slowed in his steps, stalking closer.
"Oh? Shame. Perhaps, tomorrow." A soft intake of breath followed, and Selena watched his chest fall at his exhale from the corner of her eye.
The Mediwizard leaned further against the stone banister, settling her gaze on the shimmering ripples of the moat below. "Did you think I was a student out of bed?"
"For a fleeting moment, yes." Severus sighed, "Such disappointment to discover I have no one to scold tonight."
"Shame. Perhaps, tomorrow." Selena mimicked his previous tone, a scoff was his only response. "I thought it was Professor Sinistra's turn to patrol tonight."
"Clearly not." He coolly replied. "In actual fact, I'm not quite finished yet. I still have to make a few rounds by the lake and the covered bridge."
Selena hummed, "Why does that sound so inviting?" She turned to him with a knowing smile, but there was none of her everyday mirth.
The potioneer arched his brows, almost provocatively. "Make of it what you will."
A giggle threatened up her throat. "Can I tag along? I promise to be good."
Severus sighed once more. "Promises can never be trusted." Selena vaguely wondered where the sudden disgruntlement came from. However, despite his words, he beckoned her to follow him, and a breathy laugh escaped her lips.
The first few minutes were spent in silence save for their faint footfalls and the sound of crickets lurking in the dark. Selena and Severus walked side by side with more or less one yard of space separating them. The Mediwizard's focus was on the surroundings barely illuminated by the soft light of Severus' wand, enough to make out the ground, but not enough to stir the sleeping portraits. Selena was not unfamiliar to the loud and harsh words they utter when disturbed.
"Gosh, I envy the portraits." She grumbled as they stepped back out into the open, on their way to the shore of the lake.
"What about them, exactly? That they're all dead?"
She stifled a small laugh, her first tonight. "No! Of course, not, Professor. Is that all you can think of them?"
"All that's important."
Selena shook her head but a smile remained. "Well, I meant their sleeping. It's very peaceful, by the looks of it. It's quite envying."
"Why did you choose to accompany me if you'd rather sleep, then?" The potioneer slowed in his tracks to face her fatigued form properly.
"More like the other way around," They resumed their previous pace at Selena's appeal. "Sleep is what tires me. So, I find peace here. Outside. Awake."
He spoke after a few seconds. "Unpleasant dreams, I take it? No one can be exhausted from sleep, Miss Stellifer. That makes absolutely no sense."
Selena ducked her head with a newfound timidness at admitting to his assumption. "I know you'd think it ridiculous; To be fed up with nightmares and whatnot. That's for children." She kidded, but there was no laughter from any of them, instead, a sigh from the potioneer.
"I didn't say anything." He defended none but himself. "To be, as you said, fed up with unpleasant dreams is not childish, Miss Stellifer. In fact, we, as adults, are more prone to them than children are, as we've seen far more than what they have; But what's childish is allowing it to overthrow your life, putting your health at risk. Seeing as they are only dreams, they must stay as one, and you must treat them, good or bad, as all but a truth."
Selena sighed shakily, as though she was about to cry, but she did not, she dared not to in front of her colleague. All her life she's only ever cried a few times, and behind closed doors, at that. It was never in her nature to weep in sadness, but to harbour positivity in such a time. That was one of the other things the Headmaster said to have admired her for; her smile, her laughter, not in a time of graveness and melancholy, but because of a time of graveness and melancholy. Though, some say the people with the happiest smiles hide the most sorrow, and sometimes, Selena's inclined to believe that that saying was meant for her.
Selena also tried to ignore the way he said 'we were more prone to nightmares—we.' For a brief moment, she wondered if Severus suffered from them, as well.
The Mediwizard spoke no word in response to his advice—if it was advice, though, she chose to treat it as one—instead, she turned to look up at Severus in kind appreciation. Time will tell if one day, she'd confide in him and tell him nothing but the truth of her past, and maybe she would learn some of his, but until then, her mouth remained shut. The potioneer, though his curiosity was not lessened nor heightened, respected her reserve and silence persisted for a while.
The topic was dropped completely the moment Selena took an abrupt detour closer to the water. Severus stopped walking in vague surprise, but was quick to follow her in curiosity. Her eyes seemed trained on something in the grass, and soon, she paused in her tracks and briefly knelt. When she spun around to face the potioneer, her hands were cupped together, faint light seeping through the thin space between her fingers.
"I've caught a firefly!" Selena exclaimed in hushed tones, starting to sound more like herself.
"Merlin, Miss Stellifer." Severus exhaled in little exasperation—but it wasn't serious, Selena knew. "I thought you've finally caught me a student."
"You wish." She chuckled, peeping occasionally into a small hole she formed. "This is a whole lot better… Look, Professor! It's glowing so brightly!"
"Yes, well, they are named as they are for an obvious reason." He remarked with evident sarcasm, and Selena glared at him, emotionless, like he would to her at certain times—if not, all the time.
"Seriously, though," She raised her arms to bring her cupped hands closer to his face. "Take a look, Professor. It's very cute."
Severus glared at her cupped-hands offendingly, "Merlin, what are you? Five?"
"Times six, in June, yes." She tittered, "But my age will not change my mind on you peeking inside." The potioneer looked around as if checking if there was anybody watching them, probably to spare him the humiliation.
"It's so tempting to leave you here." He said before a disgruntled exhale left his mouth and aligned his one eye to the small hole Selena formed with her fingers.
He peeped only briefly, two seconds or so, but it was enough to satisfy the Mediwizard. Meanwhile, during that fleeting moment, Selena's figure seemed to shiver ever so slightly from the fan of warm breath elicited from the subtle breathing of his nose.
When the potioneer resumed his gentlemanly posture, black met black when he stared down at Selena with no enthusiasm whatsoever, like he always does, and yet it evoked a smile on her thin lips.
The search for naughty students continued, now accompanied by Selena's new firefly friend. Their short investigation by the covered bridge shunned long conversation, as Severus was surprisingly focused, but instead, was replaced by a few of Selena's cooing over the insect and Severus' corresponding eye-rolls and sighs.
"Professor, do you really catch students when you patrol?" Selena asked in between, however.
"Often. However, I fear the students are already made aware of my schedule." He replied, perturbed to find the surroundings vacant of children in hiding. "It's usually during Pomona's turn when reports come filing the next morning."
Selena laughed shortly, "But that's a good thing... Kind of." She shrugged. "At least, it means the students get into trouble less."
"Yes, of course, that's favourable, but the sole purpose of patrolling is to keep them completely out of trouble during the night." The potioneer sighed, then, grumbled, "It just makes my night a complete waste of time and energy, when I could have been attending other engagements."
Selena chuckled, "Well, Professor, if you don't mind—because I really don't—I'd like to join you on your patrols." She suggested rather absentmindedly, as she was suddenly focused on her firefly.
The potioneer said nothing in reply, not that she expected him to. In the corner of her eye, Selena can perceive Severus shifting to look at her, probably dwelling on her proposal. Her mouth formed a small smirk as she continued to relish in the beauty of her firefly.
"However," She decided to add, equal parts playful and grave, "I can't promise you that it won't be a waste of time, but I know my company delights you."
Severus, then, scoffed as loud as he pleased, making Selena laugh, a hand coming to cover her mouth, but it was fast to reconnect with her other hand, to give no means of escape for her precious firefly.
"You know, you must let it go at some point." Said Severus after glancing at the glowing insect, just as they began to walk back to the entrance of the Clock Tower. It was half past ten in the evening, ending their patrol.
"Yeah, I know." A sigh from the Mediwizard. "I swear, if I just had a jar with me I'd keep it for until tomorrow night." She mumbled in clear dissent of his instruction, but eventually opened her palms and both their jet eyes watched the tiny bulb of light fly back into the night, blending into the twinkling stars in the sky which happened to reveal themselves for the first time tonight, just when Selena thought they wouldn't, at all.
"I didn't just mean the firefly." The potioneer muttered under his breath just before proceeding inside. Selena blinked at his turned-back figure once, twice, before trailing behind him.
Severus walked the Mediwizard back to her chambers—but not because he wanted to, Selena knew—but because that was the only way to his own, as well. In no time, they reached the dark wooden doors, the lit torchlight from inside seeping under it.
"Thank you for allowing me to patrol with you, Professor, even if I was the only one you caught out of bed tonight."
Severus scoffed and said with drollness, "I'll excuse you tonight, Miss Stellifer, but only tonight."
She laughed, "It won't happen again, Professor." The potioneer only shook his head. Selena added, "Honestly, though, it was fun." She smiled gratefully at him, but it still didn't reach her eyes, like it usually did. Deep within the dark orbs was a much darker and downcasted mood, and she was sure from the look on Severus' face that he didn't fail to notice it.
"If you are willing to wait here for a mere second only, I shall fetch something." He said, and at Selena's slightly puzzled nod, the potioneer in front of her vanished in thin air as he Disapparated from the Hospital Wing.
"What in the world—"
His return still took Selena by surprise even if she was already expecting it. A small twitch of his lips formed a smug little smirk on his face and Selena furrowed her brows at him. He pointed out the inevitable, "It seems I've managed to startle you tonight, after all."
"Hilarious," The Mediwizard snorted weakly. "Now, what have you fetched?" She was presented with the familiar book and even more familiar title, and in the next second, her eyes shot up to meet his in elation. "You've finished?" She gasped.
He nodded once. "I have." She smiled.
"I need to hear your opinions!" Said Selena as excitably as she can.
"You really don't, for I have not much."
"Still." A small frown loomed on her lips.
Severus stared at her for a few passing seconds, unmoved by her weak persuasion—if her whining was considered a persuasion. Then, he sighed, somewhat like a defeat. "I'll be at the library at two, tomorrow afternoon."
Her smile widened considerably. "I'll be there."
"Just do me this one simple task for tonight, Miss Stellifer." He said, and Selena ceased her words, anticipating his next ones. His voice, then, fell softer—and dare she say, gentler—in a tone Selena has never heard before from him. "Try and sleep."
The Mediwizard frowned completely. "I don't know if I can."
"Don't know if you can? Or you simply don't want to?" Severus asked immediately after her last word, and it caused Selena to look away, unwilling to answer his inquiry, and by extension, dwell on the topic of her nightmares, which she found embarrassing. The potioneer ended up nodding, instead, before adding, "Am I faultless to assume you will rather stay up with your precious Sense and Sensibility, then?"
"I always have my sense and sensibility." Selena quipped, to which he simply scoffed at, evidently unamused at her feeble pun.
"Hilarious." It was his turn to mimic her previous remark. They fell silent for a few seconds, silently wondering what else to say… If there was anything else to be said.
"Tomorrow at two." Selena reminded him with her regained keenness, to which he nodded and sighed.
The look that followed on Severus' face seemed as though he desperately needed to be somewhere else. He left after a nod of acknowledgement, Disapparating once again from her sight in a flash. The Mediwizard waited a few more seconds outside her chambers, ridiculously waiting for a sudden return, but when it didn't come, she retired to her bedroom with her book.
"Colonel Brandon, the friend of Sir John... He was silent and grave... He was on the wrong side of five and thirty, but though his face was not handsome, his countenance was sensible, and his address was particularly gentlemanlike."
Selena had just moved onto the seventh chapter of Sense and Sensibility when a raven came tapping on her window. She set her book down before rushing to admit the bird inside and stretching her arm to serve as a makeshift perch. A vial was clutched between its black claws, and only from the distinct blue glow of the liquid inside it did she identify the draught immediately. Attached was a small note that read:
Dreamless Sleep.
— S.S.
Absentmindedly, she turned the note over and was surprised to discover more writing.
It's not poison, I assure you.
Selena snorted, "How assurring." Her palm against the cool vial wasn't the only thing warm that night, for her heart all but radiated reverently from the potioneer's kindness.
She drank the unpalatable draught with haste, but kept the vial in her hands a few seconds more. After she sought the raven out and watched it fly back in the direction of the Potions Tower, she returned to bed. And instead of picking up the book again, she laid down and allowed sleep to wash over her; Dreamless, but in her desired peace.