Chapter 21
"There's just one more item on the agenda that we must bring to your attention, Fire Lord," Zuko listened to one of his several advisors sitting around the table in the audience chamber, adjacent to the throne room. "The garrison commander of Kirachu Island has been seen meeting with a man with obvious pro-Ukano leanings. Gifts have been exchanged. We don't believe the commander has promised firm support for Ukano yet, but his loyalties have definitely been compromised."
"I take reports such as these very seriously," Zuko nodded in response. For all his difficulties focusing on the task at hand while fighting off persistent thoughts and fantasies about a certain beautiful waterbender, the young Fire Lord recognized the problems his recovering nation were facing, and did his best not to neglect important issues such as the sense of growing rebellion in the air, Mai's family seriously starting to fan the flames. "What are your recommendations?" he turned to his advisors.
"Men like this commander respond well to a promotion that comes with a hefty pay rise," one of the advisors spoke up. Zuko frowned, but said nothing. As much as he hated it, the stark reality was that loyalty was easiest to secure with money, as long as the throne could outbid the seditious nobility. Zuko hated rewarding disloyalty with increased pay, but the approach had done wonders in the past. There was nothing more effective than bribing and flipping back some of Ukano's assets.
"If there are other means to secure the loyalty of this man without spending additional funds, I would very much appreciate that," Zuko's royal treasurer, a balding elderly man with impressive whiskers, suggested. "The treasury is not in its healthiest state right now." Zuko frowned, having to admit that the treasurer had a point. The Fire Nation finances were in a poor state, and Ukano undoubtedly knew this fact and was eager to exploit a weakness. Transition from wartime economy to that of a peacetime was a painfully slow and challenging process, and during this period of transition, the overall economy was flailing.
"I do have a suggestion, yes," the advisor who had delivered the report stated with a slightly smug smile. "The commander has a son, who recently failed his entry exams in the Royal Academy of Science. If we could make sure that he is accepted into the academy, his father would be very grateful."
Zuko smiled, giving his advisor a grateful nod. "That is excellent advice. Make it happen. And make sure that the commander knows who he has to thank for the change of his son's fortunes... and hint that there might be more favors to come, provided he remains loyal," the Fire Lord ordered, the advisors all bowing as one. "Was there anything else?" he asked, receiving only shakes of the head. "Very well, you are dismissed until the next week's meeting."
As the advisors began to slowly file out of the audience chamber, talking among themselves as they walked, Zuko noticed Suki stepping a little closer to where he sat, his sole bodyguard during the meeting with the advisors. "That went pretty well, didn't it?" she asked quietly. "We seem to be countering all of Ukano's moves."
"So far," Zuko nodded. "They're very cautious and their plots move slowly, but it's a double edged-sword. Makes it easier to counter them, but it also means that we won't be done with this dance anytime soon. And I'd really rather be thinking about something else other than Ukano's plots," Zuko sighed. Without any effort, his thoughts fled back to Katara once again, wondering where she was, what she was doing, whether she had mended her relationship with Aang.
"She'll be back, Zuko, I'm sure of it," Suki tried to offer a supportive smile, but he was sure that it lacked any real conviction. He was about to respond, when the doors to the audience chamber burst open and a breathless Ty Lee rushed in.
"Zuko... I mean, Fire Lord Zuko, you won't believe the visitor who just arrived! And they're asking for you!" Ty Lee exclaimed.
Zuko's first thoughts once again went to Katara and his heart skipped joyfully as he rose swiftly from his seat, hoping that the girl who had captured his heart had returned to him. The doors to the audience chamber opened again, but this time they were blown wide open by a gust of wind as the mystery visitor entered, crushing Zuko's hopes. He was shocked by the unexpected appearance of the young man in red and yellow robes, bald-shaven head and the familiar airbender tattoos. Indeed, the mystery visitor was none other than Avatar Aang.
Unsure of what to make of this surprise visit, Zuko began to walk towards the Avatar, and Suki and Ty-Lee naturally fell into step with their charge, protectively flanking him, almost as if expecting the Avatar to have come with hostile intentions. Instead, Aang smiled as he turned to Suki with a greeting, then repeating the same with Ty Lee. When he turned to briefly exchange bows with Zuko, the smile faded from his face. "Zuko," he said simply.
"Avatar Aang," Zuko replied guardedly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"I'm here on a private matter," Aang said, glancing at the two Kyoshi warriors.
"If it's what I think, then we can speak in the presence of Suki and Ty Lee, they're aware of the events," Zuko shrugged.
"I see," Aang frowned, looking at Suki in particular with a touch of betrayal in his eyes. Zuko could feel Suki shrinking back a little next to him. "When Katara arrived and told me what had happened, I wanted to make sure I did not overreact in anger. I sent her back to Ba Sing Se and gave her a month to decide what she really wants. The month I gave her is about to expire and I am on my way back to Ba Sing Se. I think you should come with me and be there when she makes her decision."
"Are you serious?" Zuko blinked. What game was Aang playing? He had expected many different outcomes, but he hadn't expected this. Why did he want to put Katara on the spot like that? "Uh... shouldn't this be about you two and your relationship?" he finally asked, unable to make any sense of Aang's motives.
"I think it would be best if you heard Katara's decision from her," Aang replied.
Zuko fell silent again, unsure of how to proceed. Aang appeared so confident that Katara would decide to stay with him. Perhaps he just wanted him to be there and hear her choose Aang as some kind of a punishment? Zuko felt sick to the stomach from the thought. He didn't want to deal with the humiliation of a very public rejection. Then again... if Katara is still undecided, and I'm not there when Aang arrives, then I would be unable to persuade Katara to choose a relationship with me. By choosing not to go, I might very well be dooming all my chances to be with her. And I can't stand the thought of sitting here idly and waiting, when I could be in Ba Sing Se, fighting for her.
"You know what, Aang," Zuko finally made his decision. "I agree. I will go with you."
"Glad to hear it," Aang nodded, turning around to leave. "Make your preparations, Appa, Momo and I will be waiting for you in the courtyard."
"How fortunate that I managed to sort out all the current affairs before this surprise dropped on me," Zuko grumbled to himself. "I guess I can make the trip on the pretense of another early visit with Uncle Iroh." He then looked at his two expectant bodyguards. "Well, you better get ready for a flight to Ba Sing Se, too."
"I thought Aang just wanted to go with you alone," Ty Lee blinked in surprise.
"Maybe, but I don't really want to be stuck alone on the bison's back with Aang for several days," Zuko shuddered. "That would be incredibly awkward and unpleasant. So you're coming along. You're my bodyguards, I shouldn't be leaving home without you by my side, right?"
"Right!" Ty Lee saluted cheerfully. "Also, I'm really good at breaking up awkwardness and making everyone feel happy and relaxed!"
"That you are, Ty Lee," Zuko chuckled. He then turned to the other girl. "Suki, unless I'm mistaken, there is a minister in charge of handling Avatar relations, right?" Suki nodded firmly. "Yes, I thought so. Poor guy. I must remember to send him a gift basket and a personal apology..."
It was late in evening several days later when Appa landed in the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se, the gaudy elite district beautifully illuminated by lanterns of different colors. Zuko was far too nervous to appreciate the beauty of the city, however, almost dislocating his ankle when he flubbed his jump from Appa's back. Having left Appa grazing by the nearby turtle-duck pond, Aang made straight for the nearest building, Zuko recognizing the house that was place of stay for the Avatar and his friends during their first visit to Ba Sing Se. Flanked by Suki and Ty Lee, Zuko had no choice but to follow Aang, hoping that the ensuing confrontation would be less awkward than the flight to the Earth Kingdom capital. Aang had kept uncharacteristically silent the whole way, only really talking with Suki and pointedly ignoring Zuko.
Not that Zuko had expected anything else. He had been more than a willing participant in the events that had led to the betrayal of his old friend, and for that he deserved Aang's scorn. But at the same time, Zuko was still firmly convinced that Katara didn't feel the same way about Aang than she clearly felt about him, and he was desperate to see her for once make a decision that would put her own wishes and desires above those of Aang's and others. That he would also benefit from this decision, of course, made Zuko's motives highly ulterior, and he was not blind to it.
As they came closer to the house, Zuko became aware of the voices coming from the open windows. He could clearly make out Katara's voice, arguing with someone who sounded very much like Toph, and above it all, there was the very familiar laughter belonging to Sokka. Oh great, even more spectators, Zuko sighed inwardly. By now he was so nervous that his legs felt like made from jelly and his palms had become uncomfortably sweaty and clammy.
Aang reached the entrance first and knocked, then proceeded inside, without waiting for a response. All the talking inside the house died instantly. Lagging a little behind, Zuko and his two bodyguards quickly caught up, entering the house behind Aang, immediately coming face to face with Katara, Toph and Sokka. When Katara noticed his presence, Zuko saw her eyes widen and her already fidgety, nervous facade threatened to collapse completely. Dressed in her plain blue Water Tribe outfit, her hair disheveled, slight circles under her eyes suggesting lack of sleep, Katara was a mess. And also the most beautiful sight Zuko had ever laid his eyes on.
Sokka was the first to break the silence. "Suki!" he exclaimed, walking up to his ex-girlfriend, but quickly finding his way blocked by Ty Lee.
"Hi, Sokka!" Ty Lee spoke with a beaming, almost manic grin on her face. "I'm Ty Lee, remember? I've been looking forward to meeting you again!" she threw her arms around the confused Sokka and pulled him into a bear hug. "Also, I'm really sorry for stealing your girlfriend, I didn't meant to, but it just happened," she added, pinching Sokka's cheek. "We can still be friends, right?"
"I, uh..." Sokka was instantly disarmed by Ty Lee's over the top friendliness. "Yes... yes, friends, ha-ha, of course we can be friends..." he managed eventually, glancing back at Katara. "So... you were telling the truth!"
Toph answered instead of Katara, the waterbender continuing to alternate her helpless stares between Aang and Zuko. "We tried to tell you, Sokka," Toph sighed, rubbing her brow in frustration. "Seriously, how can you be so dumb at times?"
"I think right now we need to hear from Katara," Aang spoke up, silencing the others. There was a heavy weight to his voice that Zuko hadn't noticed before.
Katara gave the Avatar a disbelieving stare. "Why are you trying to turn this into some sort of a spectacle?" she asked. "We need to talk, yes. In private. The rest of you should give us some privacy."
"Hey, this is my house as much as it is yours, I'm not going anywhere," Sokka huffed.
"Nor am I, this is too juicy to miss," Toph grinned.
"Then we have nothing to discuss," Katara's hands landed on her hips as she glared angrily.
"Everyone but Zuko, please go outside and give us some space," Aang said in a voice that broke no arguments. "I'm serious, guys. Just do it, please." Sokka and Toph both looked annoyed as they walked past Aang and left the house, Suki and Ty Lee following upon receiving a nod from Zuko.
"This is about our relationship, Aang," Katara still looked unhappy. "Zuko doesn't have to be a part of our conversation."
"He didn't have to be, but you went and made him a part of the conversation," Aang replied firmly. "Zuko stays."
"That's fair, I suppose," Katara admitted sadly. "I've done a lot of thinking, like you asked me to, Aang. And yes, it didn't take me long to realize that I do love you. I always will." At these words, Zuko noticed Aang quickly glance at him, but he couldn't quite read the Avatar's expression. Was it a triumphant look of victory? Zuko couldn't be sure. All he knew was that he wanted to get out of this house, and yet his legs felt heavy like stone and he could not move a muscle.
"And yet..." Katara continued with a somber expression on her face. "I have realized another thing, Aang. Loving you for me meant to protect you, to support you in all the challenges facing you, to be the nurturing presence in your life. But you have grown into a capable, handsome young man, and you don't really need that kind of support from me anymore."
"You're wrong, Katara," Aang shook his head stubbornly. "Your support means everything to me."
"You're clinging to the feelings of the past, Aang," Katara smiled sadly. "But as we have both grown up, things have changed, and I think I was the first of us who noticed that. The relationship between us... it gave me everything I needed at the time, but right now... I feel like I need something else. And I think if you were to be honest with yourself, you would agree with me that you don't need me as much as you used to."
"None of this makes any sense, Katara!" Aang exclaimed, his temper finally starting to flare. "You love me, and I love you! That should be enough!"
"But it's not, it's really not," Katara shook her head desperately. "Please, I treasure what we had too much to despoil it by going into details of what I find lacking in our relationship."
"If you had told me that you're lacking something I would have provided it for you!" Aang shot back.
"I only realized that during my trip to the Fire Nation," Katara admitted, her eyes lowered. "And I'm not talking about something that's in your power to give, Aang. There are things that I can't bring to our relationship, and you can't change that."
"You're just making excuses now, Katara," Aang said accusingly. "You say that you love me, but you don't even want to try and fix our relationship. If you treasure it so much, you would be fighting harder to make this work."
"Aang! I have searched my heart and I know I can't make it work, not anymore!" Katara pleaded desperately, sinking to her knees. "Please, believe me!"
"Aang, she's trying to tell you something without causing you more hurt than we already have," Zuko finally decided to step in, unable to watch Katara's heartbreak any more.
A gust of wind struck Zuko's chest, knocking him back a few paces. "Stay out of it!" Aang snapped at him angrily. "Look me in the eyes, Katara. Tell me that you're choosing Zuko over me."
"Aang... I'm telling you that it's over between us," Katara managed weakly. "Regardless of what happens with me and Zuko."
Aang stared at her for the longest while before he snapped out of his daze and shook his head bitterly. "I could never imagine you doing something like this to me, Katara," the Avatar said solemnly. "I trusted you with every fiber of my being. Goodbye," he said, quickly turning around and leaving the house, somehow managing to keep his composure.
Witnessing Aang's bitter withdrawal filled Zuko with a pang of sympathy and regret for the Avatar. If this was a victory for him, then it felt exceptionally hollow. There was now a path for him to be with Katara, but what had been the cost? Aang's friendship was a terrible price, both for him personally, and for the Fire Nation. And yet... hadn't he told himself that the love of a woman like Katara was worth any price to pay, worth any risk taking? Did he still believe that?
His eyes fell on Katara, rising from the floor, looking completely devastated by her decision. She was barely holding back the tears, but not for long. If he felt terribly for Aang, Zuko knew that Katara was experiencing pain that was hundred times stronger. The realization spurred Zuko into action and he was at her side in an instant, feeling her slumping heavily against his chest like a drowning woman. With his hands tenderly caressing her back, the dam of tears finally broke and she started to cry against his chest as he stood there, holding her tightly.
That was when Zuko realized that he was right. Katara's love really was worth any price to pay and any risk to take.