AN: Round nine of QL. Focus on a necessity for your character/pairing,(Remus/Tonks, Wolfsbane.) Prompts: Stick Around by State Champs, present, and blind
Word count: 984
That makes you feel like you're the one
who turns me on even when you're not around
and puts my feet right back on the ground
Always
He sat by the fireplace in his favorite armchair with a book in his head. Except he wasn't reading it – he tried concentrating on the words on the page but his mind was elsewhere. The upcoming full moon was already weighing on him, making him fatigued.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. More gray streaks were appearing towards the front and spreading through his roots down into the strands. Along with the full moons, he and everyone else faced the stress of the impending war.
He glanced out at the dark sky, not a star in sight. Everything had gone to hell in the past few months – especially after Dumbledore was killed. The sky never seemed cheery anymore or welcoming like it used to. It was just dark and dreary.
A part of him wondered if anything would be the same again. Or if it was too late for a miracle to happen. But he couldn't give up. Not yet. He'd use all the fight left in him. He owed James and Sirius and Harry that much.
"I know it's not the full moon that has you worried," a soft female voice said breaking through his thoughts, concern etched in the tone. "So what is it?"
Remus turned his head to glance at Tonks who was leaning against the doorframe. She held a cup in her hands, the pink fading from her hair – a sign that she too was stressed, worried or both. He closed his book and sat it on the table next to him.
He sighed again and leaned his head against the back of the couch. "Aside from the full moon tomorrow night…it's the same thing that's bothering everyone."
She nodded and walked over to stand in front of the chair. "Here, have some tea."
Remus slowly sat up enough to where he could take the cup of tea from here outstretched hands. He wasn't sure if the tea would calm him, but it was worth a shot. "Thank you."
The heat from the liquid seeped through the cup and into his hands, warming them. He took a drink and he could slowly feel the warmth spreading through his body. The warm drink calmed him if only for a little while.
"There's still Wolfsbane left if that's what you're wondering," Tonks said after a while. She sat on the arm of the chair and looked over at him.
"That will come in handy tomorrow," Remus spoke. "Wolfsbane has sadly always been a part of my life since I was four."
Tonks placed her hands around his shoulders, slowly massaging them. "I've told you before even if you don't see it yourself. This doesn't define who you are Remus. It is a part of you but it doesn't define you – only you can do that."
"What I think doesn't matter when everyone else's minds about me and what I am are already made up," Remus replied.
"Who gives a bloody hell what other people think of you," Tonks said, more firmly than she intended. "What matters most is what you think of yourself."
"That is easier said than done."
He glanced up at her. She was right, of course. She usually was when it was about his 'furry little problem.' But he couldn't just flip a switch and stop feeling the way that he felt about the werewolf side of him. He couldn't just stop caring about what other people thought of him after so many years of worrying.
Maybe that was why Tonks came into his life.
She always knew what to do to get him out of whatever slump he was in. She was the one who made him realize how stupid he was being at times. She was the one who always talked sense into him. She was the one who helped him through Sirius' death all the while breaking down herself.
She was the one who always kept him grounded. She was always there for him, and she even said she always would be.
Hell, she even learned how to make Wolfsbane because of him. Since then she always made sure he had it every full moon.
It had quickly become a pattern of normalcy for them. The same thing every moon cycle – Remus worrying, Tonks fussing over him, making him Wolfsbane, making sure he drank it and was safely locked away in the basement.
Maybe it was fate that brought them together that night.
There was a small part of Remus that always wondered how different his life would be without her in it. He constantly wondered how different things would have turned out if he never met her at Grimmauld Place or if she never joined the Order.
Whatever life he would have ended up with, it would be a life he deserved to live – alone and deserted. He doesn't deserve Tonks or any of the things she does for him.
Their life together was almost like a dream. Sometimes he felt that once day he would wake up and it would all be a blur. That it wasn't real. That it was a gift he didn't need and shouldn't have gotten.
It shouldn't be.
There is that selfish part of him that's glad Tonks choose to stay with him. But there's also that part that wished she would realize that she could do better than him.
"Stop it," her voice said, pulling him from his thoughts.
"Stop what?" he questioned but he already knew what she meant. She could read him like an open book.
"I know where your thoughts go whenever you go quite like that," Tonks said. "I see more than what's on the outside Remus and that's what matters most. You're not getting rid of me that easily."
Deep down he knew that and secretly, selfishly he was glad for that.
She was his rock, like he was hers.