Chapter 7: Reconnecting

"So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on? What was Zabini talking about?" Ron asked his voice back to normal. He held an ice pack against his still swollen nose.

The three friends were back in Gryffindor tower, sitting on the couch in front of the burning fire in the empty common room. After Harry had told him that he needed to tell him something, Hermione fixed Ron's broken nose and stopped the bleeding before the trio went back to talk in private. Hermione and Ron shared the love-seat and Harry sat on the armchair. Zabini may not of outed him but he certainly pushed things much more forward then what Harry had originally wanted. He hadn't even decided on how he was going to start so he did what he did best and just relied on his instincts.

"Well.." Harry started, fiddling with his thumbs, "First I want to ask.. Is Charlie gay?"

Harry knew it was a really odd question to ask, Ron's confused reaction confirmed that. He needed to feel more comfortable, knowing for sure whether or not Ron was ok with the idea of homosexuality, would make this somewhat easier. It was off to an awkward start but at least he had started the long needed confession. Hermione said nothing but eyed them carefully. She was likely preparing herself in case she needed to intervene.

"Yes," Ron answered slowly, his suspicions were higher than before, "Why? How did you know about that? Charlie doesn't mention it very often so you must've heard about it from someone else."

Harry breathed a little easier but his heart began to pound in his chest.

"I talked to Cedric today and-" Ron's eyes looked down at the scarf around his neck and he quickly answered the question already forming in the redheads mind "-Yes, this is his scarf, he loaned it to me so I wouldn't get sick and that's also why I didn't show up at the library today-and he happened to mention it to me.."

"What? Why would he mention it to you?" Ron visibly stiffened as his shoulders lurched forward in a protective stance, "My brother barely knows him-"

Hermione gave Ron's shoulder a squeeze, silencing him.

"Ask your questions later, let him finish." She said, nodding towards Harry. Ron sucked in his breath and nodded stiffly looking back at Harry.

"Well um..I-I, well you see, the thing is-" Harry spluttered as he became tongue-tied. He looked desperately at Hermione, who softly smiled and nodded to encourage him on. Harry took in a sharp breath.

"I'm bisexual," He squeaked out. There. He had finally said it, "Or at least I think I am. I feel attracted towards both men and women and I've sort of been, exploring my sexuality recently.. mostly with men though.."

Harry let out the breath he had been holding, his hands trembling as he waited for his best friend's reply. Ron's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open for a second into the perfect 'O' shape but he quickly closed it. He looked at Hermione, and she nodded. Ron turned back to Harry and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. He smiled crookedly.

"Merlin Harry, I don't care who you decide to be with," Ron chuckled out, "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters to me and it doesn't change anything between us. Just don't go hitting on all my brothers yeah?"

Hermione swatted Ron for that last comment but Harry didn't mind. He was glad. He smiled, letting out a weak, shaky laugh.

"I won't, I promise." Harry said.

"So.. how long have you known?" Ron asked.

"Um, the beginning of this year."

"Why'd you wait so long to say something?"

"I was scared," Harry admitted, "I wasn't sure at first but then I started crushing on Andrew and-"

"Andrew? The beater?" Ron eyebrows raised in surprise.

"What?" Harry felt his face burn at the thought of his old crush, "I thought he was hot."

"He is rather attractive isn't he?" Hermione chimed in, smiling. It vanished though when Ron gave her a strange look and she cleared her throat.

"You knew about all of this?" Ron asked her, a flash of hurt appearing in his face.

Harry cut in before he could get upset, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't really know how you would react and Hermione only knew about it before you because she figured it out all on her own. I made her promise not to say anything until I was ready and she'd been pestering me this entire last month to tell you since she said you couldn't care less but.. I don't know, I just held back."

"Alright, well.. What's done is done, I guess." Ron grumbled while frowning, "But I'm not surprised she found out so quickly, she is nosey after all."

"H-Hey! I was being observant!" Hermione said in a defensive tone, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "Besides, as he said, I told him you wouldn't care and to tell you sooner but he refused to listen to me." She stated in a matter-of-fact-tone, turning the attention back to Harry.

"I wasn't in the right state of mind!" Harry said, "Besides I'm telling him now aren't I? Better late than never right?"

"I wish you would've told me earlier Harry, like when we were in the hospital wing for example, but you're right, better late then never," Ron said with a shrug. He leaned back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest. "But, that doesn't answer my question entirely.. How did Zabini know before me? And what about the girl you've been obsessed with the last month and a half? Have you been with other guys or girls while you were with her?"

"Not exactly.. I'd never mess around with two people at the same time, that just seems.. wrong." Harry answered, his stomach was beginning to twist with anxiousness. "And the 'girl' I've been seeing this entire time was actually.. A guy."

"Wait.. What?" Ron leaned forward again, looking more confused than ever, "But-But didn't you say you were seeing a woman?"

Harry shook his head, "No, I never said they were a woman Ron, you and the others had just assumed and I thought it'd be better if I went along with it. I didn't want to come out so I was hiding under your assumption instead of coming forward.."

"Wow, um, alright.." Ron stuttered, obviously shocked by this. "So it's been a guy you've been seeing this entire time, that one that you've been head over heels for? And the same one where things didn't end very well last night?" Harry nodded, "I think I'm beginning to understand things better now but.. That still leaves my question about Zabini unanswered. What did he mean? And why did Hermione cast a silencing spell on him?"

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat, preparing himself because he knew Ron would figure the rest out on his own within the next few seconds. He glanced at Hermione who was chewing her bottom lip. Ron was so close that Harry nudged him over the edge.

"He was going to out me to you because he knew I was.. He knew the person I was with." Harry said, his voice turning quiet.

"He knows him? What did Malfoy-...Wait." Ron's eyes widened again as the filled with realization, "Harry.. you didn't."

Ron stood, pulling away from Hermione's hold and he peered down at Harry, who hesitantly stood up as well. Harry's gut told him things were going to take a bad turn, and it seemed Hermione thought the same because she also stood up, standing in-between them.

"Harry, please," Ron gave him a pleading look, "Please don't tell me the person you were seeing was-was Ma-" He bit his lip, unable to say the name at first, "Was it Malfoy?"

"Yes," the word came out so quietly that Harry wasn't sure he heard him. "It was Malfoy."

Ron screwed his eyes shut as if he were in pain and rubbed his face, groaning loudly.

"I can't fucking believe this." He muttered under his breath when his hands slipped away from his face. He looked away, staring angrily at the wall, his hands curled into fists. Hermione hesitantly reached out to him but he shrugged her off. Wounded by the rejection, she slunk her hand away. When Ron said nothing else and continued to stare at the wall, Harry spoke up.

"I didn't expect this to happen, Ron," Harry said quietly, trying to get Ron to look at him. "It just.. Happened."

"How does something like this just happen?!" Ron snapped, whirling his head to look at Harry, "After everything he's- I mean how could you even consider- WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"Wow, I don't know Ron, it's not like I was struggling for months to come to terms that I like men in the same way I like women when I thought I was straight my entire life." Harry snapped sarcastically, earning a glare from Hermione that said, 'You're-not-helping.'

"That doesn't mean jumping the first guy you see! If it had been Blaise, I would've said 'I fucking guess but fine' but Malfoy?! Him-him of all people!"

"I didn't start it! He did!" Harry argued back.

"Harry, Ronald, please-" Hermione tried to intervene to calm them down but she went overheard.

"His father was-is a Death Eater! Did you ever think that he was just trying to get close to you this entire time?!"

Harry's mouth gaped open for a second, he hadn't really thought of that in all honestly but his stubbornness wouldn't allow Ron to gain the upper-hand.

"If that was the case he would've done something by now, he's had plenty of chances to hand me over to Volde-"-DON'T SAY HIS NAME!"-"-IT'S JUST A FUCKING NAME! And he's not even a Death Eater! I actually trust him!"

"First off. You. Are. INSANE." Ron said pointing at him. Harry rolled his eyes, "And secondly if he started all of this rubbish, why would you go along with something like this?!"

"Because it felt right! It felt right to be with him, maybe not in the way I wanted but it felt right to have him as mine! Even if we weren't official, he was still mine!" Harry felt his emotions overwhelming him again like this morning but he was pissed and hurt and continued to argue anyway. "He's different when it's just the two of us, and we're alone, there's more to him then what we know!"

"You mean the person who practically destroyed your life this last month?! That person is someone different?! And how could it feel right in the first place?! Are we even talking about the same person right now?!" Ron shouted, "This is Malfoy. The person who's taunted us our entire lives, especially Hermione, belittles us every chance he gets! Why him of all people?!"

"I don't know why! I didn't ask for anything for this to happen! I-I didn't ask-"

"Didn't ask for what?!"

"TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM!" Harry screamed, his chest heaving up and down. His emotions finally spilled over, and his eyes began to water, but he kept going. "I didn't ask for it! To feel like I'm dying every time I'm without him, to think about every day all the time, to want to be around him all the time! It's only been a fucking day and I'm already a complete fucking mess without him! I know what we had was bad but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy every second of it, and if he were to ask me to go back to him again I would!" Harry panted out, his body trembling.

"I'd go back in a heartbeat and I fucking hate that I would. I hate that I love him as much as I do and he-" Harry huffed, "He never felt the same way about me."

Ron went quiet and Harry sunk back into the seat, resting his face in his hands. Hermione looked at the two worriedly but she was too afraid to say anything, not wanting to cause another loud outburst.

"I gave him everything you know? I did everything he ever asked, without questioning anything once.." Harry said shakily, looking down, "And.. I don't know, it wasn't enough for him."

"Harry, I'm.. I just-I just want to know why." Ron muttered out.

Harry lifted his head but looked away from his friends, focusing instead on the random things in the common room. He simply shrugged.

"Being with him was just so many different things.." Harry weakly smiled, " It was like finding out I was a wizard for the first time, or when I had first stepped foot at Hogwarts, or when I rode a broomstick for the first time. It felt like I had lost my way but found it again, it was familiar, like being home again." He admitted, "After being confused for so long about who I was and after being with him for the first time.. Everything became clear. I knew what I wanted, and it was him." Harry shrugged again, "I really don't know how it happened.. It just did and the next thing I knew I was in love with him.. But he didn't love me back."

Harry's voice cracked as the lump in his throat grew and the waiting tears spilled over, it was too much. He blinked once and Hermione's arms were suddenly wrapped around his neck as she hugged him tightly. Harry rested his head on her shoulder, letting out a low shaky breath as he closed his eyes, trying to keep himself together. Another pair of arms wrapped around him as Ron joined the two, he awkwardly patted Harry on the back in an attempt to comfort him. He had always been the worst at comforting but Harry smiled a little as his attempt.

The three stayed there in front of the fireplace in the quiet common room as Harry cried once more over the boy he loved and lost.

"We have to try, don't you have hope?"

"I have to do this."

Harry jolted awake, gasping loudly as he did and he sat up. Before he could comprehend what he had just heard, a quick sharp pain went through his skull, making him clutch at it as he screwed his eyes shut. He hissed loudly, pressing hard against the side of his head to lessen down the pain. After a moment, it faded away and left him with nothing but a throbbing headache and confusion when he no longer remembered what he had heard, just as the time before.

"I hope this doesn't continue every time I fucking sleep.." He thought bitterly, grabbing his glasses from his bed stand, slipping them on.

He stared around his dorm room at the empty beds for a moment, the darkened window telling him it was evening. Sighing heavily, he lay back down. After his coming out didn't go that well, Hermione sent him straight to bed to get some rest. She told him she'd start part of his homework he was meant to start at the library with her and Ron but considering the circumstances, she was willing to help. Ron said he'd wake him for dinner and bring it to him so he wouldn't have to see Draco again, which would most likely lead to another break down like in the morning. Harry hadn't argued, he was too tired too and had passed out in bed the second he hit the pillow.

Harry sighed again and pushed his bangs out of his face. He continued to lay there in bed, thinking about the weird dreams when the door creaked. He saw Ron slowly backing into their dorm room, two plates of food and a goblet floating steadily in front of him. As he came closer to Harry, he glanced over at him briefly before turning his attention back to the floating food but realizing Harry was awake, his head jerked back to him.

"Oh, you're awake.. Sorry, I didn't wake you did I?" Ron asked dumbly, setting the food down on Harry's bed stand before sitting on the edge of his bed. Harry's stomach growled at the site of food.

"No, I just woke up actually.." Harry said, the weird dream already forgotten.

"You got some rest then?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

The two fell into an awkward silence, both looking away from each other, silently wishing that the other would say something. Ron coughed loudly, trying to break the silence, "So, I brought your favorite. Steak and kidney pie. Hermione added the side of veggies and I put some treacle tarts too. Nothing special in the goblet though, just water. Hermione wouldn't let me get you anything else."

"Thanks.. for bringing me dinner.."

Ron didn't say anything except nod his head slightly as he fiddled with his fingers, and they fell into silence again.

"Look Harry-I'm sorry again." Ron said, "For reacting the way I did. It was just.. Really surprising. I didn't mean to get so heated about it and take things as far as I did. It's just-" His face crinkled slightly, "Malfoy? Really? You couldn't have settled for someone just a little better?"

"I know." Harry replied, rubbing the back of his head, "I mean I understand, had things been the other way around, I don't think I would've been any better in all honesty.. And like I said, it just happened. I don't know why but it just did. I can't give a better explanation than that."

"But you didn't just stop to think.. That it was Malfoy you were doing this with? And can I ask how this started?"

"I don't think you want to know that." Harry said nervously, his mind bringing back the memory of how they fucked just an hour after they kissed in the bathroom.

"I do actually. If you don't mind telling me."

"He just came up to me telling me he knew about my interest in men and I didn't get to get much in before he kissed me and that was it." Harry said, leaving out all the inappropriate details.

"And you fell in love with him?"

"Well no, not at first. I eventually did. And it's like I said, being with him brought this familiar feeling. I don't know how to describe it more than that, it just felt-felt like Déjà vu. Like I had experienced this before, even though I've obviously never had." Harry shrugged. "I liked it. It was comforting and I wanted more of it."

"As much as that doesn't make much sense.. I get it." Ron replied, "I'll never understand why it was him but you also can't control what and who you like so I'm alright with everything.. mostly."

"Thanks, Ron, it means a lot more than you think.." Harry said with a smile. He held out his fist, "Friends?"

Ron laughed and bumped his fist with Harry's. "Best friends, you git. Well, I just came to drop off your food. I told Hermione I'd come back down afterward, make sure you eat it all, otherwise she'll kill us both. Especially me."

Both of them laughed, and the redhead stood to take his leave. Harry watched his retreating back and before he slipped out of the doorway he called out to him.

"Hey, Ron?"

"Hm?" He grunted, turning his head back.

"Thanks again, to you and Hermione. I'm not sure what I'd do without the two of you."

Ron shrugged, smiling briefly.

"Guess you're stuck with us for life, mate."

Reviews/comments are appreciated~