Ch 41

Sodapop P.O.V.

Everyone ran off in different directions. If anyone saw us, you would think we were getting chased by a wild beast with the way we were acting. I ran just for the sake of running at first, but then I stopped to think about where Sage would go. She wouldn't want to be around people and most likely wouldn't want to be found by her brother. My mind thought of either down by the railroad tracks or somewhere by the river.

Then it clicked. When we were younger the group of us would always go down to the river to hang out. But there was this bridge that crossed over it. One time Sage went to jump off it after Steve said she would be too chicken to do it. Luckily Darry was watching and grabbed her before she flung herself over. Man, he yelled at us something fierce that day saying a jump like that would kill us. As much as it pained me to think Sage would do something like that, I don't know how clearly she is thinking.

Sure enough, I saw a slumped over figure sitting with their legs hanging over the edge. As I got closer, I could see that she had been crying. Her hair was a mess from probably running her hands through it. It was a nervous habit of hers that she never seemed to shake. She was staring off in front of her, lost in whatever thoughts were going through her head.

I was trying to be as quiet as I could, but an old board gave me away when I stepped on it and a creaking noise filled the air. Her head whipped over to me, and I saw her whole-body tense as she saw me nearing her. She shot up and her eyes were darting every different direction.

Sage Winston looked like an injured animal trying to find a way out of here and nothing has ever pained me as bad as this. I held up my hands and stopped walking. There were about five long strides between the two of us, but to me it seemed like half a football field.

"Baby girl, I just want to talk." Her eyes met mine and for a second, she stopped. "We don't have to go back if you don't want to, but I want to help. We can sit back where you were, and you can tell me to leave at any time."

It took her a minute to give me an answer, but when she nodded her head, I slowly went and sat down where she was a few minutes ago. I waited as she came to sit down next to me and sat in silence until she said something.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way." I looked over at her and saw that faraway look in her eyes again. "I had a plan. She wasn't supposed to do this alone."

I was afraid to ask what she meant, but I already had a pretty good idea. "Does this have to do with the apology you gave me?"

I saw her take in a deep breath and nod her head. "We were going to come clean and say it was us that killed their friends. I was tired of others getting hurt because of me. But I didn't get a chance to tell her." She shook her head and started playing with her hands. "It's my fault."

I grabbed one of her hands and squeezed, "None of this is your fault. She made her decisions, and you can't put that on yourself." I paused to see if she would say anything, but when she didn't, I asked, "What happened this morning?"

I watched her shiver some and put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my side. "I went over there to talk to her about the idea I had to get the heat off all of you. I walked into the bathroom, and she was on the floor. God, the smell was something I hope to never have to come across again. But I thought she was just sleeping from drinking too much the night before. I didn't think it was anything bad until I saw the pill bottle. Her face is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. It was so pale and lifeless. Nothing like I have ever seen before. But I couldn't stay there, so I ran."

She paused, "How did you find out?"

I looked back down at the river and shook my head, "Tim called Dally and told him. I have only seen your brother that worked up once and it was when you and Angela left town. Darry had us all spilt up to find you."

She lifted her head off my shoulder and looked up at me. "How did you know I was here?"

I gave her a small smile, "I remembered the time Steve dared you to jump."

She gave out a short chuckle and put her head back on me. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Soda."

It broke my heart to hear her say that. "I think we are all doing the best we can with what we have been handed. But you know all of us love you and will be here for you."

I looked down and saw her smirk some. "Don't let Sandy hear you say that." Before I could respond, she shook her head. "I didn't mean that. It just comes out before I can think about what I'm saying."

I sighed, "Sandy and I are done. For good this time." I saw her look over to me out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn't look at her while I admitted this. "I don't even know why I went back to her. All these years I was head over heels for you, but she somehow caught my eye and distracted me. I thought I loved her, you know. But the only thing she did was ruin what love is supposed to be. I don't think I will ever be able to come back from that. She broke me in more ways than one and I let her."

As hard as it was to say out loud, it felt good to get it off my chest. "None of us knew." I picked my head up at her voice. "You are so damn good at acting happy that none of us knew you were hurting. I am for sure the worst person to talk to about this to, but I only want to see you happy. Another reason why I was going to do what I had planned. I already hurt your family once with Mark, I didn't need to be the reason Pony, or you got jumped."

Another voice pulled us away from each other. "There you are!" Steve was running towards us. Sweat dripping off him. "You could have at least found a phone to call us. We've been looking everywhere."

He practically fell down on the other side of Sage. She asked how he found us. "That one time I thought Darry was going to have a heart attack when you went to jump. He hit me so hard up the back of my head for daring you. Thought I had a brain injury or something from it. Probably why it took me so long to figure it out. All brawn and no brain."

I heard Sage giggle a bit and for that moment, I thought we would all be okay.

I told them that we should start heading back. Steve nodded his head, "Dally looked like he's going to have a heart attack. Tim ended up joining us towards the end too."

I felt Sage stiffen at Tim's name. "God, he has to hate me."

I squeezed her shoulders once and helped her up from the bridge. "I think he is more concerned that you are okay right now. We all are." She didn't say anything and remained that way on the walk back.

We hadn't even made it through the gate before Dally came running out of the house. We watched with mild concern as he pulled Sage into a hug. None of us really know what Dally was ever thinking, so I hoped he would keep his cool with her.

"Don't you ever run off like that again! What the hell were you thinking? Do you know how much you scared me?" I tensed at his words and waited for her reaction.

She looked up at him and tilted her head to the side, "You were scared? You're never scared."

He let out a loud sigh, "Of course I was scared, stupid. After the phone call from Tim and the guys blabbing about some shit you told Soda last night, I didn't know what to think."

She surprised him when she wrapped her arms around his waist. All of us visibly relaxed when he returned the gesture, but it was short lived when Tim walked up. Dally noticed him first and let go of his sister. She looked up at him confused at the change of demeanor. But realized what was going on when she turned to look at what he was staring at.

I saw her hands start to shake at her side when she saw him. She ran a hand through her hair and focused her eyes on her feet. I stepped a little closer when Tim walked up to her. I didn't know if he blamed her for everything and I couldn't stand by and watch her get even more hurt.

She let out a small yelp when he pulled her into his chest. I've never seen Tim show any sort of affection, so this was a new one for me. But that small act of kindness was what pushed her over the edge. It didn't take long for the sobs to start and the apologizes to come flooding out.

He said something to her that was only loud enough for her to hear. But whatever it was, it seemed to calm her down a bit. Her body wasn't as tense, and she was nodding her head at his words.

Tim might have lost his sister today, but something tells me Sage is still going to be a big part of his life.