"Soooooooo," The Doctor grinned looking at his small body in the mirror. His clothes were hanging off him in clumps, "This is new,"

Jack groaned staring at his own youthful body in the mirror, "How did this even happen. I mean, I'm a fixed point Doctor. I shouldn't be capable of change,"

"You still age though," The Doctor explained, "You're capable of changing up to a point. It's the same reason you can get drunk. Even how you can get pregnant,"

Jack was apart of a human subspecies from the future that were Omni-sexuals. They were all technically male but could become impregnated. They also excreted a powerful pheromone which most lifeforms in the galaxy found appealing. They even had some control of that pheromone as a defense mechanism.

"Just think of this as aging backwards," the Doctor grinned studying himself, "I think we're about 10... 10 years, 9 months, and 22 days... approximately. Plus or minus a few hours."

Jack groaned.

"Oi! It's not an exact science!" The Doctor felt the need to defend his guess, not realizing that wasn't what Jack was moaning about.

They could hear crying with the occasional scream coming from the next room as the young apprentice who did this to them was being punished. The wizarding world seemed to have more traditional values, and by Traditional he meant old as fuck.

The apprentice was about 19 and currently over his master's knee getting his bare ass assaulted by a switch. The old woman sounded like she had some hidden strength.

Jack wished he could say he felt sympathy for the boy but given that it was his fault they were currently prepubescent he got a bit of satisfaction out of it.

The boy had accidently spilled the potion on them as they were exploring the shop. He had been to eager to show his master what he'd done and wasn't paying attention. Something always goes wrong when you don't pay attention in a potions lab.

Jack sighed. This wasn't how his trip with the Doctor was supposed to go. The Doctor found Jack some years after his entire Torchwood team died and extended his offer to travel with him again. After Donna the Doctor was lonely and desperately wanted a companion who couldn't die...

"So what do we do?" Jack asked, "Think this will wear off in a few hours?"

The Doctor frowned as he sniffed the potion still soaking his clothes. Sniffing out all the ingredients used, "Interesting... seems to be permanent."

"P-permanent!" Jack yelped, "You mean I have to be a bloody CHILD for the rest of eternity!"

The Doctor smiled, "Oh don't worry, We'll still age properly... at least I will... One moment," he started probing Jack with his fingers, turning his head to the side and looking into his mouth. Then he stepped back and scanned him with his Sonic screwdriver. Looking over the readings he informed, "You'll grow up like you're supposed to as well but your body will return to aging at a snail's pace when you hit the age you originally died at."

Jack sighed, "I guess that's better then being a kid for a few hundred years."

The Doctor smiled, "This is just fascinating!" looking back to the mirror. "It's been so long since I was a kid."

"Doctor!"

"Right right," The Doctor took another sniff of his clothes, "I think this was the Trotvarious Youth Elixir. The ingredients smell right but," he did another scan on his own clothes, "Yes, yes I see. The magical energy wasn't distributed through the potion correctly,"

"Doctor," Jack groaned, "Please make sense,"

"The Trotvarious Youth Elixir doesn't directly age you backwards. I doubt that really would have made much of a difference with how old we are. Instead it's designed to revert the body back to a specific age. Which depends on the Stirring pattern used. I'm afraid the kid mocked it up a bit and so we're prepubescent instead of 20 somethings. Still an impressive attempt."

"Impressive!?"

"The fact we aren't dead is very impressive."

The door chimed and the old woman temporarily paused in beating her apprentice as a group of men stepped inside, ignoring the 'closed' sign. They were well dressed in fancy robes and carrying Satchels with important documents in them. The old woman quickly thanked them for coming and showed them to the newly de-aged boys.

"Good evening sirs," one of the men said taking a seat, "Unfortunate business this but we'll have it squared away. Now please remain calm and trust in the ministry. Laws have been passed in case something like this happens. It was decided that people in your situation should legally be treated as children in all aspects as a result of your emotional range being regressed with you. Mrs Wrognut, since this is her shop where the accident took place, will be paying for your schooling as well as supplying a monthly deposit in your accounts until your of age, as compensation. You'll have to pay for your own apprenticeship if you choose to Apprentice again,"

The old woman groaned before glaring at her still crying apprentice who was naked from the waist down in front of everyone, "Those ingredients you wasted already cost me over 20 thousand galleons! Now, on top of it, I have to pay for 7 years worth of schooling!?"

The apprentice whimpered.

The Ministry man calmed her down with, "Accidents happen when taking on apprentices. You're insurance should cover it if you have all the required permits. We can help you file a claim with the Goblins. All that should happen is your rates go up a bit. This was a fairly impressive brew, even if it regressed them a bit too young. Still impressive for someone his age. I would suggest keeping the boy on and just watching him more closely. He shows promise as a potioneer and we could always use more of those,"

The old woman sighed, "I hadn't actually intended to get rid of the boy but I will be taking out the bill on his hide,"

"As is your prerogative," said the man looking back at the Doctor and Jack well the apprentice cried.

The Doctor informed, "School might actually be a bit of trouble for Jack. He's a squib,"

The Ministry man looked thoughtful, "We'll add a magic blesser to the shop owner's bill for him then,"

"A Magic Blesser!?" The old woman gasped, "Those draughts cost even more then the de-aged potion to make,"

"Be thankful your a potioneer and can brew it yourself or you'd have to spend even more on purchasing the potion," he told her, "It's your responsibility to make sure the boys are cared for until they are of age,"

The old woman groaned, rubbing her temple in irritation.

The Ministry man continued, "Well to a certain extent. As it is gentlemen do you have an individual you would like to appoint as your guardian."

The Doctor thought on it for a bit, "Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart,"

The man paled, "The former head of UNIT... you... you have ties to him?"

"We work for UNIT," Said the Doctor, "It's one of the few places that hire Squibs," nodding at Jack, "And they pay wizards rather well to," speaking of himself.

The Ministry man groaned. This had just become an incident with the UN if UNIT was involved, "I'll get in contact with them immediately. Can I have your names please?"

"Doctor John Smith and this is my friend Captain Jack Harkness,"

Jack was letting the Doctor do all the talking. It was amazing how easily he blended lies with the truth. John Smith was just one of the Doctor's aliases, one UNIT would recognize.

The Doctor really did work for UNIT on occasion but not so often anymore. He was an immortal alien shape shifter. Of course he could only change his shape when he neared death. Sorta like the old Phoenix legends. He was a champion of the universe, it's protector and guardian. He couldn't imagine the number of people who were going to laugh their butts off when they saw him reduced to a child.

"Boy," The old woman growled at her apprentice. "Get me a dose of Magic Blesser." Not wanting to make this worse on herself. All wizards had heard of UNIT. They handled most wizarding / muggle relations among other things. They had helped fight against the Dark Lord and gotten a fierce reputation.

"Y-yes ma'am," The apprentice fled the room.

The old woman looked at Jack, "The potion won't quite give you real magic. It will allow you to manipulate it in it's raw form but no real spell casting. Hogwarts has remedial classes for those Squib students but most families can't afford to treat their children with it, as I'm sure you know."

"Yes Ma'am," Jack nodded

The apprentice returned with the dose and handed it to Jack.

Jack looked at the Doctor as if asking 'sure this will work' and at the Doctor's nod he downed the potion. He felt sudden waves of pain coursing through his body as his awareness began to expand. He could suddenly feel in a way he could never have imagined and could not explain. The universe itself seemed to change around him as he felt it in a whole new way.

His heart, Stomach, and even his brain felt bizarre as he became aware of a secondary circulatory system in his body. He could feel this system pumping energy instead of blood... the sensation took a moment to get used to.

He stumbled back as it gave him a bit of a head rush. Sighing he looked at the now empty vile, "I've had worse," he shrugged and handed it back to the apprentice.

The Ministry man nodded, "The school will teach you how to make and use runes and you can use most actual spells through them,"

"Got it," Jack nodded.

After all the paperwork was filled out, and an account set up in their names for their school funds. The boys were left to their own devices. It was agreed they would stay at the Leaky Cauldron for a few days until Alistair picked them up. The old woman would pay for their room until they were in the hands of their guardian.

Their clothes were shrunken down to fit them and enchanted to grow with them. That was something the old woman actually volunteered, being more cooperative after learning they were from UNIT.

The Doctor was so excited, "It's been a while since I went to a wizarding school. I believe the last time was when I actually did regenerate as a child,"

"You mean the time you were running around calling yourself 'Merlin' and accidentally got the entire wizarding world worshipping you as a prophet," Jack droned.

The Doctor blinked, "How do you know about that?"

"I worked for Torchwood for over a hundred years. They did a lot of research on you,"

The Doctor huffed, "Here I thought I was being unorthodox bringing you to the Wizarding Market,"

"I actually know a lot about the Wizards from working at Torchwood," Said Jack and the Doctor just pouted.

The boys walked to a clothing shop and ordered a whole mess of new clothes, enchanted to grow with them so they didn't have to keep ordering new ones. The enchantment made them a good bit pricier but they'd save money in the long run. They got a bunch of wizarding clothes as well as muggle styles of this time period. The early 90s had some ugly clothes. The boys observed as they stood on the stands as they were measured for their orders.

Neither really minded standing in there underwear on pedestals at the front of the shop. The mirrors in front of them really showed them their new bodies.

Two other boys were there chatting about Hogwarts next to them. With a Blonde child acting like a right prat and making Slytherin look all kinds of bad.

The Doctor glared as he looked at him. He actually knew Salazar Slytherin. The founder of Slytherin actually taught the Doctor everything he knew about magic. That man would be ashamed of how many people like this got into his house.

The Doctor got fed up with it after the boy started condemning the other child for apparently being muggle born.

"Come off it," The Doctor glared, "Talk like that is the reason all the other houses hate Slytherin so much," The Doctor huffed, "We need to be a better example," he looked at the other boy and extended his hand, "John Smith, I'm what most of Slytherin house will look like," He was in Slytherin last time he was at Hogwarts. He didn't see why that would change now, "Unfortunately we have our share of prats,"

The boy shook his hand, "Harry..." he introduced himself then after a moment of silent he asked "why do most people hate Slytherins?"

"We had some messed up Dark Lord in our recent past and now everyone blames all of Slytherin for his actions. It's pretty annoying. What's the good in blaming an entire group of people for the action of one man and his insane followers? Not everyone who was even in The Dark Lord's cult was a Slytherin. There were a ton of Ravenclaws and Even some Hufflepuffs. Hell even a couple Griffindors joined him but Slytherin is the only one who is ostracized and hated for it," he glared at the blonde, "Spewing all that pure blood nonsense doesn't exactly help us,"

The blood scuffed, "Wizarding blood is diluted enough as is!"

"True, if we don't do something our species will die out but yelling at the Muggle borns won't do any good. We need to find a way to make our magical genes more dominant and that can only be done if research is put into it. Instead pure bloods just sit in their mansions laying all their blames on muggle borns instead of actually trying to fix the problem,"

"What problem?" Harry asked.

Jack explained, "Thousands of years ago a powerful being, some call him the 'Unofficial Guardian of the universe'," sparing a glance at the Doctor who flushed at the description of himself, "declared Earth a sanctuary for creatures without a world. Creatures that had lost their homes due to a great war that took place across the stars with all of time in the balance. They had lost much of their culture, all of their technology, and most of their populations. He brought many of those various creatures here.

"Wizards were one of those races. They looked like... think Lord of the Rings' Elves, mostly human but beautiful beyond compare with even the males having very soft features. They started interbreeding with humans and slowly their genetic make up got more and more diluted. Now wizards have barely any of those genes left and the true wizarding species long since been bred out of existence. Legend has it they didn't even need wands to bend reality to their will,"

The Doctor added, "Magic is just a primitive word for it. What wizards actually do is we have a sixth sense that let's us interact with subatomic particles and varying energies of the universe. It's all in the magical theory books," Time Lords could do it to but they also had a seventh sense which allowed them to perceive the 4th dimension, AKA "time". It made it hard for them to relate to 3 dimensional creatures. Generally only Time Lord priest studied magic as the manipulation of time was considered more important.

"So..." Harry looked thoughtful, "We're aliens?"

"Descended from Aliens yes, or at the very least beings from another dimension," The Doctor nodded, "But we're mostly human at this point and our culture is fairly backwards. We still have some of our ancient knowledge. For example, potions is just a higher form of Chemistry which uses our sixth sense. You have to feel the energies and particles as they blend and manually guide them well stirring. Even for us, it can be a difficult skill to master,"

The blonde added, "Squibs can't do it because they don't have the Sixth sense,"

The Doctor explained, "It just means their genes are dominant like Jack's," nodding at his friend, "But he just took a potion to treat that so he can go to Hogwarts. Most of the time those potions aren't available to squibs as they cost way too much. They have the potential to save our entire race and even give magic to muggles but the ingredients are really hard to come by and the potion can only be brewed by Masters,"

Jack got the conversation back on track, "Squibs like me are the proof the wizarding race is dying out but Muggle borns are our hope,"

The Blonde sneered, "How are they our hope," not actually asking, "Their blood is even more diluted then it was before, after generations of breeding with muggles,"

"Because their magic came back. It's proof that no matter how diluted our blood gets magic will always come back to us," Jack explained.

The blonde got quiet as he thought about that, "I... I guess that makes sense," he admitted.

The Doctor nodded, "We should stop worrying so much about muggle borns and put more research into potions to give magic. Squibs who undergo the treatment might not be able to cast complex spells but they also don't need wands. It's a step in the right direction,"

As the Doctor and Jack left the shop, and the boys, the immortal looked at the Time Traveler, "So... why did we just do that?"

"Well in a hundred years wizards will be working on improving the Magic Blesser. They'll need all the help they can get," the Doctor shrugged.

Wizards had a very long lifespan, living a little older then 200 on average. However because of this they had rather high expectations for their academe. Usually they had to study a specific field for a hundred years before they knew enough to pass their Mastery Exam for it. There were a handful of geniuses who became masters of a magical trade well in their 50s but they were vary rare.

That's actually why de-ages children were sent back to school. They had the opportunity to take advanced classes usually reserved for geniuses in 3rd year.

"You think those kids will became potion masters?" Jack asked.

"It's amazing how one little encounter can completely change the destiny of a child," was all the Doctor said as they continued walking around the market, buying things for school.

They only had to stay at the Leaky cauldron for a single night before Alistair picked them up.

"The Ministry explained to me what happened," Said Alistair well the boys sat in his car as it drove down London, "I signed the document accepting custody of you two and legally had your names changed to Lethbridge-Stewart. I'm now your legal guardian and was told I should treat you like actual children because your brain chemistry has been regressed," he looked at the Doctor who was playing with the window of the car, "Honestly Doctor it's been decades since all my children left the house. I'm too old to raise more,"

The Doctor sighed, "Sorry Brigadier, we can always just stay in the TARDIS until we're grown up," the TARDIS currently being towed behind them on a trailer.

Alistair sighed, "No, You have a hard enough time caring for yourself under the best of circumstances. However I want you to remember you ASKED me to take care of you so I expect you to obey the rules I lay down and accept the consequences if you break them. The Ministry told me I need to treat you like actual children and that's what I'm going to do in ALL areas, understood?"

Jack perked, "Does that mean we get an allowance?"

Alistair groaned, "Yes you'll get an allowance. You'll also have your hides skinned if I catch you going something wrong,"

Jack's smile turned devious, "So what your saying is, 'don't get caught',"

Alistair groaned, "I was the leader of the largest intelligence organization on Earth. You will ALWAYS get caught,"

The next day Jack and the Doctor found themselves with their pants around their ankles as their bare bottoms were repeatedly swatted. They had already been caught.

Some months passed the boys got used to the routine at the Brigadier's. They had full bellies, warm clothes, and a mountain of toys and books. Most importantly they often found themselves with sore backsides. The Brigadier was very strict and the boys were always up to some mischief.

When school rolled around Jack was glad to be out of that house, "You couldn't have asked someone ELSE to watch us," Jack huffed as they boarded the train, "You had to pick a crotchety old man,"

The Doctor shrugged, "I trust the Brigadier. He was always there to get me out of a jam,"

Jack huffed again as they walked down the train.

"He was actually my first companion,"

Jack paused but as the Doctor kept walking he forced his feet to move.

"We were both little more then children. I traveled with him... and the Master... things didn't end well,"

Jack gaped, the Doctor NEVER talked about himself this much.

"Still... I cherish the time we spent together..." the Doctor sighed, "It was nice... Besides my dad Alistair was the first human I ever saw,"

"You're half human!" Jack couldn't stop himself from yelling.

The Doctor blinked as if he hadn't realized he'd been talking this whole time. He lightly smiled, "That does explain why I'm so obsessed with you lot wouldn't it? Hey look an empty compartment," the Doctor changed the subject in that subtle Doctor way which showed a complete lack of understanding for social niceties.

The compartment itself wasn't even empty. There was another boy sitting in there. Actually it was the muggle born from the shop.

"Harry!" The Doctor grinned, "How are you?" walking into the compartment without asking and taking a seat. Jack rolled his eyes as how obliviously rude the Doctor was and sat down to.

Harry slowly smiled when he realized who it was, "Hi John, Jack,"

"Hey," Jack smiled, "So how was your summer,"

Harry shrugged, "The usual. How about you,"

"Fairly unusual," Smiled the Doctor, "Which is typically normal for me but highly unusual in a different way,"

Harry snickered, not understanding what the Doctor was saying but finding him funny all the same.

The Doctor suddenly gaped as he caught sight of a lightning bolt scar on Harry's forehead. He swallowed back his surprise to not alert Harry and hoped he hadn't done too much damage too the timeline.

They all too soon found themselves standing in front of the great hall with all the first years lined up. Harry was sitting on the stool with the magical sorting hat on his head. When the hat cried out "Slytherin" was when the Doctor knew just how much he fucked up.