The scene before him made his plates itch. He felt like an intruder in an intensely private moment. The staggering desire to flee was only overshadowed by deep concern. Still, Garrus was at a loss for words.

The engineering deck was completely dark aside from Shepard's flickering omnitool. Charn's datapad rested by the marine's elbow, giving off a soft, ominous glow. The commander was hunched over staring at something in one hand, tightly clutching a bottle of whiskey in the other. And as he brought it to his lips, Garrus caught a soft, hissing sound. That sharp, intake of breath reminded him of when Shepard took fire in a fight. Pain. Whatever this was, the commander was in pain. And more importantly, this was clearly a private moment. Garrus turned to leave, but Tali grabbed his arm like it was a life raft.

And then it hit him. Charn. Sparing him was a call Garrus hadn't seen coming. Shepard was usually merciless when it came to slavers. During their hunt for Saren, Shephard had slaughtered several criminal factions dealing in slavery. The commander didn't just stumble into these dens of inequity, he specifically sought them out. And when their bases were nothing more than a smoking crater, any slaver unfortunate enough to still be alive was swiftly dealt with. Even if they were on their knees begging for mercy, Shepard had one hard and fast rule:

"You can never trust a slaver."

He'd execute each and every one.

Garrus didn't have any objections. They had it coming after all.

But Charn? Shepard spared his life for mere data. "A chance to get some payback for Mindoir" is what his commander gave as an explanation. But it didn't make sense to him; not after the lengths he knew Shepard was willing to go to, to end the slaver threat. Whatever this was, the commander did not want them to know. The desperate urge to flee welled in his chest.

"Tali…. We need…."

But it was too late. The commander stiffened, clearly having noticed their presence.

"Shepard?" Tali had already crossed the deck, and was reaching to place a hand on the man's shoulder. But the human just sat in silence. This was almost as un-nerving as Saren's mechanical corpse. Seeing his commanding officer like this was haunting.

"Whatever it is Shepard|, you can tell me"

The silence stretched on and right when Garrus was certain the quarian's efforts were futile, Shepard answered. Low and hoarse.

"I can't decrypt it."

"Decrypt? Decrypt what? I'm sure I can help you with it. I'm a quarian afterall, it's not that big of a deal."

"I think he's referring to this" Garrus decided it was time to 'grow a quad' as Wrex would put it. He quickly grabbed the datapad and handed it off to Tali.

"That's it? Oh! That's no problem. Batarian encryption is pathetic." A few moments of silence passed.

"What am I looking for anyway?"

"A ship name, the AML Amstridian"

A few tense moments passed, before Tali announced it would take a couple hours but it was quite feasible.

"How about I grab some dextro drinks and Tali and I hang out with you while we wait?"

Shepard nodded and Garrus left for the kitchen. Quickly grabbing the bottle of dextro wine he 'procured' from Opold on Noveria, he returned and poured a couple drinks. After hesitating a moment, he prepared a whiskey on the rocks for the commander. The man deserved a cool drink at the very least, even if he was already half in the bottle. When Shepard nodded in thanks, Garrus relaxed. He had been so caught up in whether or not they were intruding, it hadn't occurred to him that the commander might actually want their company.

For awhile, they sat in silence sipping on their drinks.
Shepard slowly, cautiously cleared his throat "I had a sister. Jane."
Tali quickly spun her head to Garrus and they exchanged a look. Well, as close to 'a look' as one could get, given her helmet. They were both present when Shepard talked Talitha down. She had stolen a gun and held it to her temple, tears streaming down her face – a slave recently liberated who was snatched from his home colony. But their commander, a man they both feared as much as they respected, sat there patiently – listening and comforting the girl for nearly an hour. That was the day they both realized there was more to Commander Shepard than what met the eye. He was ruthless because he had to be. Because of what he survived. He knew the consequences of underestimating a threat.

Tali gently reached out, placing her hand on the commander's. "Why don't you tell us about her? About Jane?"

That earned a chuckle at least.

"Heh. She loved animals – always nursing injured creatures back to health. But dogs were her favorite. The Winstons lived a few doors down and had a couple collies. I'm pretty sure, if they offered, Jane would've disowned us all just to have one. She practically lived over there - spent hours playing with those stupid things."

"You weren't allowed pets?"

"There were problems with wild packs in the colony, and our mom was pretty frightened of dogs as a result." He sipped his drink, eyes glistening, lost in the past. "It didn't last though. Jane wound up finding some filthy mutt in one of our irrigation ditches. He'd broken his leg and that girl, well, she couldn't leave an animal in pain. To this day, I still don't know how, but she somehow managed to sneak him into the house and hid him under her bed long enough for his leg to heal." Shepard drained his drink and Garrus grabbed a few more ice cubes before replenishing the cup.

"Why's that so surprising?" Tali inquired clearly grateful Shepard was opening up

"Haha. That thing was massive! And Jane? She was tiny – and I mean tiny. God, she was a shrimp. Fearless though. One time this jackass was coming on strong to an older girl she idolized – the guy wouldn't take no for an answer. Jane snuck around behind him and kicked him right in the balls."

It was Garrus who spoke up this time "She sounds like quite the sister."

"She was."

Silence ensued for awhile. Shepard seemed lost in thought, staring absently into the mass effect core. Eventually, Tali interrupted the quiet "So what happened with the dog?"

"Huh? Oh right. We had an attack by Barachi one night – they're wildlife, native to Mindoir. If I had a comparison, well, I guess they'd be a bit like a cross between a lion and a hyena."

Both the dextros snorted.

"Yeah. Shepard we're not that familiar with earth wildlife." Garrus replied

"They're predators. Travel in small packs. Alone, they're not too frightening for a grown man. But a pack? That's trouble." "They were after our sheep. Dad and I grabbed the guns but one already had a lamb by throat. And out of nowhere Jane came running out of the house, screaming at the Barachi to let go of Ranger."

"Ranger?"

"She named all the farm animals." Shepard rolled his eyes "Well one of the Barachi started stalking Jane. Like I said, she was small. And prey. That mutt flew into the fray and ripped the Barachi's throat out. Then he turned and fended off the rest of the pack, wouldn't let any of 'em near Jane."

"Why didn't you just shoot them?"

"We were farmers Garrus. My definition of a clear shot back then was fairly narrow. There was no way to pick off the Barachi without potentially hitting Jane."

Garrus winced. It was easy to forget that not all civilizations were militaristic like his. Palaven had very few true civilians. Unless you had a disability, boot camp was mandatory at fifteen.

"Top off your drink?" Garrus offered as he didn't really know what else to say

"That thing was the filthiest, ugliest excuse for a dog imaginable. But they let her keep the mutt after that. She got one hell of a spanking for running off like that though" Shepard chuckled and offered up his mug for refill.

"That's a really cute story." Tali piped up

The sound that escaped Shepard this time didn't hold a hint of humor. It was a low, bitter laugh.

"When the batarians hit she was out in the cornfields, playing with that stupid dog. I'm pretty sure he bit one of 'em good. That beast didn't go down easy."

When Shepard didn't continue, Tali wordlessly placed her hand on the space between his shoulder-blades. The darkness that clouded his face didn't recede. His eyes were hard. He shook with rage.

"I failed her you know."

"I'm sure -" Tali began but was abruptly cut off with the wave of a five fingered hand

"My dad and I were in the barn. We had a bit of warning thanks to the horses, they started whinnying and carrying on one hell of a commotion. Dad ran for the guns – and mom. It was my job to grab Jane. But by the time I reached her, the batarians were already advancing. Gunfire started erupting all around me. I didn't know what else to do so I told her to hide. I sent her into the irrigation ditch, told her to crawl into the ejection pipe. She was small enough to fit."

He paused, draining the remaining liquor before gesturing for another refill. Garrus quickly obliged.

"I found dad at the Winston's making a last stand. Mrs. Winston and her son were dead. Her husband was a grisled old bastard - made the batarians pay for it before going down. We somehow managed to kill the few remaining fuckers in the parlor."

Shepard's voice wavered.

"That's when he told me what they were after. They were killing the men and capturing young women and children. He was hysterical. Covered in blood. Mom wasn't with him. It… it wasn't hard to figure out she was gone at that point." He brought the cup to his lips and drank deeply "But when he asked after Jane, and I told him where she was, we ran to the porch and saw four of them were searching the ditch where she was hiding. They had these creatures. Almost like hounds. My dad completely lost it. Charged straight at them guns blazing. He was tougher than I ever imagined, I'll give him that. Took their fire and kept going. Managed to reach them and rip one's eye out too. He gave me an opening to charge their group. The last thing he said to me was 'save Jane son, just get to her boy, get to her and run." A shudder passed through the human.

"I killed one. Wounded the other. That's when I saw her. One of the critters had clamped down on her leg and was dragging her from the pipe. I tried. God, I tried to reach her. But they caught me, took my gun, and beat me senseless. I crawled into the sewer and watched them toss her like a ragdoll into a cage." The commander drained the remaining liquor and didn't wait for a refill this time. He simply grabbed the bottle and dumped the contents into his cup.

"Shepard, shepard look at me, it wasn't your fault. You were just a kid. And wounded at that." Tali tried

The glass shattered in Shepard's hand. "I was SIXTEEN. Sixteen. Practically a grown man."

Tali's hand had slipped from its comforting position on his back and as she reached up to replace it, the commander bellowed "SHE WAS NINE YEARS OLD."

Her hand stilled. Hovering. Before she slowly lowered it to her lap.

They sat there for what felt like hours. A cold stillness had overtaken the engineering deck. Garrus certainly didn't have any words of wisdom. If it had been Solona and him….. he couldn't even think about it. Instead, he focused on finishing the remaining wine. Tali had been refraining from any more alcohol since Flux and instead opted for torfa – the dextro equivalent of coffee. She was hard at work on her omnitool, assisting the decryption process. More for him, he supposed. And his nerves certainly needed it after that revelation.

Everyone was immersed in their own world and curiosity got the better of him. Using his visor to hone in on a square piece of paper Shepard had been staring at earlier, he froze the image in place. A young skinny guy smiling ear to ear looked back at him. On the kid's back was a small girl holding two fingers behind his head; her wide smile revealed several missing teeth. Her hair was a blaze of orange, with the same brilliant green eyes as her brother.

Finally, a ping from Tali's omnitool interrupted the chilly silence. She nervously cleared her throat "Shepard? The decryption is finished. Let's see if we can find that ship."