"...And the Third is a Bit of a Downer" (Rose)
I can only wish to know what is going on in that adorable head of Merlin's...
Stop that, I correct myself. I can't allow myself to think of him that way. I need to find out if any of us, besides me, survived the attack. If that is the case, I will not remain in the kingdom of Camelot. I will take my people and we will rehabilitate ourselves, establishing a home front elsewhere. This will be harder than I had originally thought. Whether I like it or not, I have a sort of ... attachment ... to Merlin. I cannot be sure of what this said attachment is, but I completely object to exploring the subject any further. However, I am in no ways in opposition to making friends with him or anyone else here for that matter. One can never have too many friends.
I realize now that I have been burning a hole in Merlin's face. He gives me what I would call a reserved, possibly nervous, smile. "Are you alright?" I ask, and hope I am coming off as tender, not suspicious or anything.
He laughs just a little, "Oh, yes. I'm fine. I'm the one who should ask you that question."
"No need to worry about me, Merlin. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself," I say with what shred of dignity I still possess within me.
"I believe that," he says, and then adds, "But you shouldn't have to," he professes with a hint of defiance to his voice. I can't be sure who that defiance was aimed at exactly, but he could have just been upset at the turnout of the whole situation, not necessarily at any one person in particular. On the other hand, I do not think that truly to be the case.
I am given no chance to further deliberate on this, because Gaius calls out for me as he comes through the door. "Rose! I am home now," he announces. Merlin holds up a finger to his now childishly smiling lips, signaling for me to keep quiet about his being here early. I catch myself smiling in reflex, and try to stop myself from laughing.
"How did you fair in your duties today, Gaius?" I ask loudly. I begin waving my hand at Merlin when I hear Gaius' footsteps headed in the direction of the bedroom door. He springs off the cot and stands with his back pressed up against the wall near the door. I am really fighting laughter now. I bite my bottom lip.
"Just fine, thank you," Gaius says unsuspectingly as he steps into the room. I smile at him, for more reasons than he realizes. Merlin cautiously takes a step up right behind him and makes a face. I stifle a giggle. "What is it?" Gaius creases his brow, continuing a bit in his way forward to me.
"Oh, absolutely nothing," I wave at the air, "I am just doing so much better today that I am finding it harder and harder to contain myself," I say as a warning to Merlin that I may crack if he makes any more goofy expressions. He nods in submission, holding his hands up, knowing that I'm right.
"I am glad to hear it," he smiles.
"Me too!" Merlin leaps forward from behind him, covering the slight distance between the two, and grabs his shoulders.
Gaius nearly jumps out of his skin, "Merlin!" he elbows him and scolds in a strained shout, "What're you trying to do?! Give an old man a heart attack!? Well, you very nearly succeeded!" Once Merlin has recovered his breath, he breaks out in uncontrollable laughter. This is all too much for me. I burst out laughing as well. "To think you were in on this," Gaius wags a finger at me, before dropping his hand down to his side. Every time I attempt to apologize to him, I laugh harder.
It doesn't take too long for Gaius to lose hold on his seriousness. He starts to laugh within a moment. As his laughter escalates, so does ours. I think I'm crying at this point. "Oh, please, make it stop!" I cry, "It hurts..." I am answered only in guffaws. I flop down on my back on the bed, "Okay," I take a deep breath, "Okay. I'm okay." The others deepen their breathing as well to calm down.
"What am I going to do with you two?" Gaius exclaims.
"Come on, Gaius. You know you love us," Merlin states.
"I do," he nods, then his countenance falls, "Which is why I need to speak with you on matters that are far more serious than me having a heart attack."
"That would make it the most serious kind of matters," I say solemnly.
"I'm afraid it is," his voice drops into an even more somber tone, "The things that are to be discussed involve shaping the future of this very kingdom."
Fear begins to flood my body, my heart now pumping it through my veins. I say nothing as I feel the very color draining out of me. What could he possibly be referring to?
"I am going to get dinner started," Gaius eyes us both, "We'll talk while we eat." He leaves and a heavy silence sets in when the door closes.
I turn and set my feet on the floor, staring at them for lack of a better thing to do. Merlin comes and sits himself next to me. He bends over, elbows on his knees and his hands folded. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asks, sounding concerned.
"Well," I say honestly, "I was. I don't know anymore." Then something hit me. I am not sure where this revelation came from, but I think I know why Merlin happens to be so different. I just have this feeling... "Merlin," I look at him, "May I ask you a question?"
"Of course," he smiles, nodding.
"You promise to give me a straight answer?" I peer at him questioningly.
"I'll do my best," he smiles tightly.
I 'm onto something. He's nervous, my thoughts excite me, but I quickly recover the severity of my mindset, "Why did you leave Ealdor?"
"I didn't fit in," his answer is plain.
"Why not?" I push the questioning further.
"Okay," he brings his clasped hands to his mouth, right under his nose, then pulls them back a bit, turning to me, "I'm pretty sure you were going to find this out eventually, anyways, so I should be clear to tell you..." His eyes bore into mine, and now I am certain my instinct is correct.
"The Secret is Out" (Merlin)
"I have magic," I spill. She may be scared of me now, or hate me for keeping this from her in the first place, or, or... something. I can feel the sweat forming by my hairline.
She looks down, so I can't pinpoint how she feels towards me now (not that I really could before). She nods with a small smile, "I don't know how, but I knew it." She looks me back in the eyes, and my heart flutters at her sparkling eyes, "You truly are special."
Embarrassed, my eyes fall to the floor. She must think she hurt my feelings because she reaches out and places a gentle hand on my arm. I feel my ears turning red, and it won't be long 'til my cheeks follow suit. "Please, do not think that you are only special because you have magic. That's not what I meant at all. You were special to me before I knew for sure you had magic. Please believe me."
"Oh, I do," I stammer, "I do believe you. Your comment just flattered me greatly."
"Oh," her voice becomes much lighter, "Good."
I laugh, "You're too cute," I slip. Her cheeks turn as red as my ears feel. I swiftly avert my eyes from her. "Oh, gosh," I trip over my words, "I'm so sorry. Now I really am embarrassed."
"Don't be," she says sweetly, "I was just taken by surprise. I appreciate the compliment."
I almost wish I could tell her to stop making my heart melt from her cuteness that I so stupidly pointed out. I could literally kick myself, right here, right now. I don't move my eyes from the floor. "Merlin," she calls to me in a sing-songy voice, "Look at me ..." I hesitate. "Please," she implores. I give in and look at her. She's adorned herself with puppy dog eyes.
She is good, I admit.
"You needn't worry about driving me off. If ever I leave, rest assured, you would not be the cause. If anything, you and Gaius would be the only reasons why I would even consider staying in Camelot at all," her words, filled with sincerity, warm me from the core. "I also promise to guard your secret with my life. I know the penalty if you were ever found out. I couldn't bear to see something happen to you on my account, or anyone else's for that matter."
I smile at her with utmost gratitude, 'Thank you,' I say with my eyes and my mind.