"The Weight of the World" (Rose)

Merlin confirms our plans for in the very least the morning (I am not sure quite how large Camelot really is or what he plans to show me), and I nod in appreciation. "If you don't mind," I turned to both Merlin and Gaius, "I should like to wash and proceed to retire for the night."

"Of course," Gaius lightly squeezes my hand before removing it.

"I'll draw you a bath," Merlin stands and does so right away.

Once the water for my wash is ready, I rise to my feet. "Thank you both, for everything," I curtsy out of habit, and go to the private spot where the tub waits for me.

I have finished with my bath, and I am now dry and dressed in the nightgown Gwen lent to me. Sitting on the bed, I feel heavier than before. I wish I am exaggerating when I say that the weight of the world is now resting of my shoulders, of all the shoulders it could rest on. I can't help but ask, why? Not that it matters. The die is cast. It cannot be reversed. I have been chosen for a lifelong quest that will help shape the destinies of many outside of the circle of three that they seem to revolve around. If one of us were to fail our part, it would be one big ripple in the water of fate causing others to move and be moved.

My feet feel heavy as led. My shaky breathing is causing my lungs to rack against my ribcage. If I don't calm down, I may just burst from all the pressure that I have been put under and am putting myself through. I must rest, I want to rest, but I don't think I can at this point. I want my father. I want him to hold me close the way he did when I was a small child and tell me with the coming of morning sun, light would shed on the darkness that surrounded me now. I lie down and choke on my own tears. I would gladly give up whatever powers I have to have him back. He could not take the weight off my shoulders or change my destiny, but he always made things lighter. To me, he was the morning sun- warm, bright, and magnificent. I miss him more than I know how to express. I pray that his face will remain fresh in my mind.

I close my eyes and envision my father. Maybe, my dreams will help me to get through the night and help me forget.

"Sweet Dreams" (Merlin)

I am about to check on Rose since all is quiet and the rooms are still. A light breeze flows through the place. It feels nice, even though it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Gaius has started snoring, and that's never peaceful, but I'm glad he was able to get to sleep. He was shaken by this whole ordeal more than he originally led us to believe. I think he's scared for her, fearful for the both of us.

I creep up to my bedroom door, and cautiously crack it open. I keep widening the gap until I can poke my head in, so I do. She seems to be sound asleep, so I sneak through the door, carefully shutting it behind me. As I near the bed, I see that she had been crying for her cheeks and nose show the remnants of a trail of tears. I squat down, untie my red neckerchief, and swipe the remaining streams away.

"You should not have to hide so much pain behind those lovely eyes of yours. If it were up to me, you would always be happy. That way, you would never have to shed another tear for me to brush away," I whisper, barely audible in case she can hear me. I stand and pull her blanket over her, tucking her in. She makes a little moaning noise, almost as if she's trying to talk in her sleep, maybe to tell me to get lost. I laugh very quietly through the nose as I take my place on the floor next to the bed (this time on the other side). She may be destined to watch over me, but I choose to watch over her. It's so strange that I feel such a bond with someone I barely know a thing about. Although, in my experience, when someone harbors your deepest secret, and you keep theirs, you're forced to be closer with that person. Perhaps, more than you want.

I turn over on my right side, now facing the cot, and delicately slip my hand over her loose hand (her other is under her pillow). She has all the makings to be a great leader. She has the breeding for it, the complaisance, and clairvoyance for it. She maintained her composure even after the fate of an entire kingdom was placed in her hands. Robbed of a title I can see she deserves, I determine always see her how she the world should see her. My heart wants me to commit, to say that, even if she is never ruler over a people, she would always be a princess- not just any princess... my princess. I cannot afford to think so selfishly or foolishly. For the sake of a better world, I should hope that she will be an overseer of a strong people and lead them rightly. "Sweet dreams, Princess," I lightly clutch her right hand, and after, let mine relax where it is. I allow my mind to clear. It is high time that I have a good lie-down.