A/N: I couldn't find a place to work it into the story, but Jane's spelling was auto-corrected in all the search queries. Its natural form proved rather difficult to read. And I figured if google can correct my half-asleep keyboard-mashing, the extranet of the ME universe can figure out Jane's misspelling.

Messenger Login: Garrus Vakarian
Messenger Login: Jane Doe

GV (20:11) Jane?

GV (20:11) Are you okay?

GV (20:12) I just heard about the attack. Tali said it was Cerberus. What the hell? So strange.

JD (20:20) you tipe… vast. Im ok.

GV (20:20) Vast?

JD (20:31) fast tali gave me tipyng progam to help with keys Mavis roks

GV (20:31) Are you drunk?

JD (20:32) no

Messenger Login: Tali'Zorah vas Neema

TZ: You are such an ass.

GV: ?

TZ: Do you have any idea how insecure she is about her typing? OR spelling for that matter? Stupid bosh'tet.

GV: What did I do? Why do you always accuse me of things?

TZ: Because you're a bosh'tet and it's always you. Plus, I have some spyware in her omni-tool. So I read the whole thing. Don't try to play innocent!

GV: Yeah… that's not a massive invasion of privacy or anything.

/ Garrus Vakarian now labeled friggin' turian-bosh'tet in contact list /

TZ: SOMEONE HAS TO LOOK OUT FOR HER.

TZ: Be nice. She's typing out your reply

FTB: This makes no sense Tali. I've seen her writing and it's fine. More than fine actually.

FTB: And how is she still typing? It's been like five minutes.

TZ: Let me guess, on paper? In that journal she keeps? And you have a Rishini to Palvoni program installed in your translator. You must, otherwise you couldn't have a conversation. So of course it looked fine.

FTB: Krul sent it to me… I never really thought about it.

TZ: Rishini isn't supported on a digital level. The keystrokes are too complex. The dash would have to be significantly larger and wouldn't fit in a standard omni-tool. That language is based off of the batarian pre-spaceflight era. Did you learn nothing about the Terminus species in school?

FTB: A bit. Our xeno-studies were mainly focused on citadel species, new arrivals, and threats. Her handwriting is beautiful by the way. Very loopy. How was I supposed to know she couldn't type?

TZ: I swear…

FTB: Wait, so what is she typing in if not Rishini?

TZ: Batarian Standard, also known as Gok. She knows enough to squeak by. But struggles with vowels, and tends to write phonetically.

TZ: At some point, she must've installed a text-to-Rishini program so she could read articles and whatnot. She's definitely not fluent enough to do the things I've seen since she's been aboard. But she needs to improve her Gok or learn a new language. Otherwise, she'll be limited to pen and paper.

FTB: Gok? Really? You're pulling my leg. The batarians have a language named Gok?

TZ: Yes. Let's focus on THAT. Such an important matter.

TZ: Her reading and comprehension scores came in above average but she's really lacking in the spelling department. I suppose that's not all that surprising, considering she reads in Rishini and writes in Gok. Still, it's a good start.

FTB: You're scoring her? Let the poor woman have some fun before she has to trudge across one of the worst planets in the galaxy.

TZ: In case it needs to be said, which it probably does, DO NOT tell her this. Mavis sends me reports each time she completes a segment. But she doesn't know she's being scored.

TZ: This way, I can remotely increase the difficulty as she progresses.

TZ: And not everything is about fun or blowing things up! Plus, we did have plenty of fun, thank-you-very-much.

FTB: Alright alright I see your point. Not like I can do anything about it now.

TZ: I'm going to offer her a spot on the fleet. My captain approved it. Apparently, she saved his life during the attack. And there's another human doing the same… It'll be tough finding her work but maybe she can help train the marines. We always need a biotic's perspective. And she's a really fun roomie, so I don't mind sharing my space.

FTB: That's sweet Tali, but she'll never go for it. She's determined to learn from the toughest, meanest thing out there. And that's Wrex. Plus, her biotics are extremely dangerous right now. You haven't seen them at full force.

TZ: I guess.

TZ: I just… don't like this Garrus. I feel terrible that she's going to Tuchanka, of all places. What if she dies? She's the last of Clan Shepard. He'd be so disappointed in us.

FTB: She'll be fine. Stop worrying.

TZ: You know, I was the one telling you that last week.

FTB: Well, it's what you're supposed to say.

TZ: Did you warn Wrex that she's only fluent in Rishini?

FTB: I didn't know it was such a big deal...

TZ: Alright, I'll add THAT to the growing list of things I'm talking to him about. And I'll set a reminder to bring a data packet he can install. He has a sub-dermal right?

FTB: I think so? They were talking on the QEC without issues though.

TZ: Well, I'll still mention it. I guess it makes sense. He did a lot of merc work in the Terminus and I imagine 700 years is long enough to encounter nearly every language there is.

Incoming call: Jane Doe
ID: Garrus Vakarian

G: "Jane?"

J: "Garrus! Thank goodness. This is way easier than typing."

G: "Hey, just so you know, I'm really sorry. I had no idea you were struggling with this stuff. We could've gotten you a tutorial program or a language course or something."

J: "Ehh. I'm fine. Besides, I was busy trying to start a z-tube channel. You're not worrying again are you? I'm gonna kick krogan ass. I highly doubt they care if my typing skills are up to par."

G: "I know. But it's a useful skill so keep working on it. I'll even help you write up the tags and description on your channel when you get back." / five second pause / "You okay? With the fight and all I figured I should check. I know you had to use your powers through an inhibitor again. At least it's not in your brain this time, but I'd like a heads up if you're gonna keel over. Give me a chance to hide from Mordin."

J: "Hah. I'm fine. It dug in a bit more but I'll be on Tuchanka tomorrow. So, we'll see what Wrex says about how much longer I need it."

G: "Tali mentioned Cerberus tried to buy you as a kid?"

J: "Yeah. They were in Datmar."

G: "Huh. That's… really odd. You're sure?"

J: "Positive. If there's something more than positive, then I'm that. I didn't know them by the name Cerberus, but I know that symbol. They were present and heavily involved."

G: "Alright. I'll put some feelers out. See if I can't dreg anything up. Tali's doing the same. But you should be safe on Tuchanka… well, from Cerberus at least."

J: "They seem pretty incompetent to be honest."

G: "Maybe. But they have deep pockets. Plus, we think this attack was originally focused on the Idenna, yet they changed plans at the last minute when they heard you were with the Fleet. They weren't planning on much resistance."

J: "Wait, they came unprepared to fight a biotic?" / Snorting sound. Followed by laughter. /

G: "I may have let Mordin's latest medical report slip. They probably read 'biotic inhibitor' and assumed you were incapacitated. If they come at you again, they'll be better prepared. I want you to be careful. Don't use your real name."

J:"Yeah yeah I know. But Cerberus doesn't know me by name just my number."

G: "Huh?"

J: "The humans went by things like subject number. So, I was Subject 1182, eighty-two for short. Never Jane. I kinda doubt they'd care."

G: "Still, be careful. Keep using the moniker."

J: "No worries. I prefer it anyway. Makes me feel like a secret agent."

G: "Now I'm curious."

J: "What?"

G: "Did that school not teach Gok or glok or whatever?"

J: "The Hegemony is a dictatorship that doesn't like their people interacting with outside species, not until they climb the ladder at least. I picked up tidbits here and there after Datmar. Krul should know all this."

G: "Trust me, there will be a conversation."

J: "What's he been up to anyway?"

G: "What else? Complaining. Says it's too quiet so he's been playing this awful symphony music in the living room. Nalah seems to enjoy it so I'm leaving it alone for now."

J: "How's Nalah taking everything?"

G: "Well I'm damn well not telling her about the attack… not yet anyway. But she's doing alright. I don't want you worrying about us okay? Once you set foot on Tuchanka, focus on what Wrex tells you and stay alert. That whole planet is deadly."

J: "You and Tali worry way too much."

Distant voice in the background: "I'm right here!"

G: "It's a gift."