Lazerus Project
Location: Unknown
Every day at exactly 05:00, Tali was roused and handed several dextro MREs. A retort, with which she could sterilize food, along with several vacuseals were also delivered. In fact, every one of her needs were met. And she was treated with the utmost respect. The staff even went as far as calling her 'Miz Zorah.' There were small day-to-day things that served as a reminder of her imprisonment. No omni-tool. No extranet access. And her new suit, now complete with her usual, purple over-wrappings, only had the functions necessary for survival. Food, bathroom, shower. The other one would not be returned to her until she was released. But, truth be said, her only discernible foe was boredom.
Randomly one morning, Miranda tossed a few datapads her way, medical curriculum, and told her to keep busy. What better way to do that than by developing additional skills? Of course, Tali knew first aid. But just the basics. How to pack a wound under fire. How to staunch bleeding. But the main goal was getting the wounded to evac where they could receive real help. Now she found herself learning new techniques – how to repair an artery, how to set a splintered bone in such a way that the regenerator, even a portable one, could do its work. So, should she ever be free of Cerberus, she would be capable of more than patch and go jobs. At least with humans. There was very little literature for other species around. A revelation that scared her. How did Miranda even have the knowledge to put her back together? Tali's wound was healing but she could still feel it at times, the stitches pinching in the corners, a deep burning that wouldn't settle. Another reason to keep occupied with the curriculum. It distracted from the pain. But most of all, it distracted from herself.
The thing was, she was afraid. Yes being held captive by Cerberus was (or rather should be) terrifying. Except that's not what was bothering her. She was afraid of herself, of the actions she took. That split second decision to stay behind, even though she believed only death was waiting. The fact she did that scared her more than she had ever been scared before. And instead of questioning her own sanity, she threw herself into helping with Shepard. Obviously, she refused to take part in the experiments. But she held his hand through countless procedures. Spoke sweet nothings in his ear, hoping she was having an effect.
Miranda certainly seemed to believe so. And Shepard was looking better. Much better in fact. They put him on a high calorie regimen, all through infusions still, but the cheeks were no longer pinched, his eyes were no longer sunken. Every inch of him was filling out nicely. They were using some sort of electrical stimulation to regrow the muscles while he was out. It was either that, or years of physical therapy. Something the galaxy couldn't wait for. But, as a result, he looked like himself again.
This also meant she had more freedom. And frequently took advantage of it to drop in and visit with Shepard. On the rare occasion he was conscious anyhow. The entire station was heavily monitored. So every word was guarded. Careful. But Miranda was right, having someone familiar around lifted his spirits. Sparked healing in such a way that, even with all the medical advancements, could not be explained with science alone.
"Tali..." He greeted. The name was slurred. But she was more than accustomed to discerning the syllables. To her, they translated with perfect clarity.
"How are you doing today?"
"Y'know… same ol' same old. Chakwas still has a bee up her ass. We really gotta put a bullet in Saren. Before he… oh I don't know… fucks over the whole galaxy? Trillions of lives on the line, and I'm stuck in the medbay. Some commander."
Whatever they had Shepard on must kick like a mule. (An earth animal she learned about in her studies. Apparently, if one walked behind such a creature, it was liable to buck and crack your skull.) He was normally a man of few words and to be fair, he still was. At least in comparison to her. But there was a looseness in him when he spoke, like the words simply got away from him. His answers weren't at all guarded. And she vowed to herself, that no matter what, she wouldn't take advantage of this vulnerability. That she would put her feelings aside, and be the friend he needed.
"You're doing fine. This will all be over soon."
"If I was doing fine, I wouldn't have lost her. God fucking dammit." Shepard clenched his jaw. "Ash was a hell of a soldier. But we're fighting monsters of flesh and steel. Those things are damn hard to put down, biotics seem to be their only weakness. And Saren has an army. I need Kaiden. Dammit… I…need him. It wasn't a choice, it was the only way."
Miranda had him reliving Virmire again and again simply to check that the memories were in tact. The woman was compulsive in her perfectionism. Without pause, compassion or human empathy, Shepard was forced to lay bare his very soul. Not only in front of an audience, but a cold and uncaring corporation seeking to use him for their own ends.
But it was out of Tali's control. All of it. The only thing she could influence was Shepard. To try and comfort the man tethered in their clutches – that was her purpose here.
She took his hand in hers and squeezed. Not once did she need an explanation for the choice on Virmire. Never wondered either. She watched his face as the Normandy sped from the blast. Saw his eyes glisten, unshed tears reflecting an orange blaze. But he didn't allow himself to look away. Not for a second. Sparing himself the full weight of that decision would have been a disservice to her memory. At least, that's how he saw it. She knew that now more than ever.
That was the other thing she had to come to terms with – her feelings. She knew now that what she felt was a mere crush, an infatuation. And she could see how placing him on a pedestal was unfair to both of them. Unfair to him, because he was still organic. Beautiful in his flaws. Human. Someone who needed the space to falter. And unfair to herself because she would never move on if this flame continued to burn so brightly it scorched. But learning that she had been right about him – about who he was beneath the mask of Commander Shepard – caused her feelings to deepen. There would come a time when she'd need to distance herself, to turn away. For both their sakes. But it wasn't today.
There was a commotion in the hall that pulled her attention. John had fallen asleep a few minutes earlier, lulled beneath her gentle whispers. Long before the door slid open, she knew who it was. Miranda. The pretentious bitch was more robot than human. Everything she did was highly controlled. Even her walk was taught, together, and with utmost purpose. Her presence brought with it a certain air – and not a pleasant one.
Miranda nodded towards the hall. And spoke only when they were safely from Shepard's earshot. "Are you ready to try again?"
She was referring to their last attempt at finalizing Shepard's memory restoration. It did not go well.
Events surrounding the attack had been his most difficult. The memories were fragmented. And if he lingered too long, it's almost as though his body remembered what the mind could not. He began gasping. Reaching out, desperately clawing at the air. Tali tried bringing him around, but he was too far gone. She wound up thrown across the medbay. Then Miranda ordered a hefty dose of sedatives to bring his vitals back under control, and everyone clocked out early.
Later that evening, Tali all but screamed that enough was enough. He remembered Saren's defeat. Why did they need to restore everything? Maybe it was a blessing that he couldn't recall such a slow and agonizing death. Per usual, her protests went unheeded. But at least Miranda acknowledged her discomfort. Although, Tali suspected it was yet another manipulation tactic. And merely huffed in her general direction.
"Look, I understand your concerns. But orders are orders. The Illusive Man wants him fully restored. I happen to agree – I can't see the benefit of bringing back even more painful memories. The man is a dilapidated wreck."
"Never underestimate Shepard." Tali cut in. "It's clear you didn't know him as a, you know, person. Maybe if you tried seeing him as a living being instead of a tool..."
A scoff. "I've put two years of my life into learning every minute detail of his existence. There's nothing I don't know about that man."
As if.
"Anyhow I was hoping you'd be on the fourth module by now. But I see you are still chipping away at the second." She waved towards the heap of datapads sitting idle by the chair. Reading material for whenever Shepard fell asleep. Miranda paused then, and if Tali wasn't mistaken an actual emotion crossed her face. "When the treatment is complete, his memory will be restored up until the Normandy crash. But… he won't remember this. You."
"No. It's for the best. He's been put…" A jagged note crept into her voice. "You put him through hell. I'd rather he forget all this. It's a mercy."
"So I can count on you today? This will hopefully be the final restoration."
"I'll be there. For Shepard though, not for you."
"That's all I ask."
It went terribly, just as Tali predicted. Although, the reason behind it all sent a chill up her spine. It was Jane. And not the nine year old version either. But the one they had come so close to finding.
"Let's try something a little more recent." Miranda's voice carried across the medbay, tone neutral. "What happened in the weeks following Saren's demise?"
"I failed her." His voice cracked.
"Dammit. Why does he keeps going back to Mindoir?" Miranda sighed. "Never mind I know that answer."
"I failed her… all over again. I was so close. So close."
"Heart rate climbing. Currently at 122 bpm." Someone interrupted.
"Ten milligrams of diazepam."
"Right away ma'am."
Once his vitals settled, they returned to the topic of reaper creatures and their weaknesses for another forty-five minutes before Miranda turned the clock forward again, only for it to end in similar disaster. This time, Tali ensured she was well out of arm's reach. But it was difficult to keep herself at a distance. Especially considering she was the only one who knew the whole story.
Given Miranda's reaction, (confusion, frustration) she suspected the woman was in the dark. Yet she needed proof. Something concrete. If she was going to reveal even a portion of truth, she needed to know how much Cerberus had on Jane. It was necessary. While she would have preferred Shepard's blanks were filled in by friends, her and Garrus to be specific, Miranda's penchant for perfectionism meant that until she reached the heart of the matter, Shepard would remain on her table - forced to relive the worst moments of his life indefinately. She needed to intervene. But she also needed a solid plan. The Lazarus team left, exasperated at the setback. And all Tali could do was hope and wait.
Two weeks were all it took. It was as if the Ancestors themselves intervened. Whether through fallacy or the frazzled type of fear she learned to expect from Miranda's stooges, Wilson dropped a datapad. A datapad that was labeled 'Security Clearance Alpha.' He jumped to the sound of his beeper, and rushed out the door so fast he hadn't realized he left it behind. For the first few minutes, Tali didn't move a muscle. Didn't budge from her innocuous position on the bed, where she laid flat, legs angled over her body in a relaxed, studious pose. She just eyed the forgotten thing. Waiting to see if anyone returned for it. And then, ever so subtly, she slunk out of bed, walked over to it, and used the guise of pacing, while reading, to slowly shuffle it beneath the frame. She then plopped down on the mattress, as if she'd just reached a rather juicy section, and 'accidentally' dropped her data-pad. Only, when she went to retrieve it, the medical curriculum was replaced with something Cerberus didn't want her to see.
It took all of 45 seconds to hack through the file's encryption. Deep beneath the covers, and well out of sight from security cams, Tali opened the file. Laying before her were… many things she hadn't known. A collection of data on John's family, his colony… him.
Certificate of Live Birth
Name: John Jackson Shepard III
Sex: Male
Date and Time of Birth: April 11th 2154 01:12 AM
Place of Birth: Cottier Territory, Mindoir
Mother: Hannah Isabell Shepard
Mother's Place of Birth: Rhode Island, United Americas
Mother's Age at Time of Birth: 25
Father: John Jackson Shepard II
Father's Place of Birth: New York, New York, United Americas
Father's Age at Time of Birth: 33
Certificate of Death
Deceased Name: Zachary Luis Shepard
Sex: Male
Date of Birth: February 12th 2156
Date of Death: September 22nd 2157
Cause of Death: Inoperable cerebro-spinal tumor encroached on brain stem. Child removed from life support after 37 days. No possibility of rehabilitation.
Date Filed With Registrar: September 23rd 2157
Her eyes stung at that revelation. But she couldn't linger. Cerberus staff might return at any moment. So she kept scrolling. Reading. Committing to memory everything she could.
U.N. Supreme Court
The People of Mindoir vs Conatix Industries
Docket No. 958
Argued: November 19th - 30th 2161
Decided: January 8th 2162 (Case Dismissed)
3666 U.N. 270
Syllabus
Conatix, an Indiana based corporation, responsible for the study and facilitation of human biotic proficiency, stands accused of seeding Mindoir with element zero. Colonists claim that the corporation deliberately detonated drive cores over villages, contaminating the soil and drinking water. A private testing company, crowd funded by the colony, confirmed these claims. With 987 ppm eezo traces found in groundwater and 1,893 ppm eezo traces found in soil. A pregnant woman exposed to more than 20 ppm of eezo risks fetal demise, stillbirth, and terminal cancer in the affected child. According to Joshua Baranowski's study in 2152, merely 3.2% of in utero element zero exposures result in biotic ability. This is far too small a percentage to justify such an atrocity, assuming it can be justified at all. So far, no studies exist on the long term effects of consuming produce grown in eezo contaminated soil.
Mindoir has been plagued by a rash of stillbirths and childhood cancers that far exceed the norm. Pregnant women on Mindoir are 42% more likely to experience fetal demise. A whopping 25% of children under the age of 5 suffer from debilitating cancer and tumor growth. The People of Mindoir postulate that this was a deliberate attempt to study the mineral in a controlled population. And they have been left, unaided, to suffer the consequences.
II. Other Conatix Litigation
Australian Tribal Nation vs. Conatix Industries
Docket No. 229
Argued: June 12th 2151
Decided: July 2nd 2151
Syllabus (Redacted)
Action Taken: Case Dismissed
The Republic of Asia vs. Conatix Industries
Docket No. 130
Argued: September 3rd 2152
Decided: September 8th 2152
632 U.N. 002
Syllabus (Redacted)
Action taken: Conatix was fined and expelled from Earth based studies of biotic exposure.
Medical Report
Patient's Name: John Shepard
DOB: 04/11/2154
Age: 5
Attending in Charge of Care: Dario Houff
Reason for Visit: Accidents On Playground
Primary Impression: Healthy, active young boy. Mother, Hannah Shepard, claims that he has been taking many stumbles, trips, and falls. This is his eighth visit in three months. Bruising and scrapes consistent with roughhousing. During the exam, John barely sat still. Jumped from waiting bench to floor repeatedly. Ran in circles. Talked non-stop. Given mother's history of miscarriages and the death of her second child, it is my opinion that she is displaying an understandable amount of over-protectiveness. I reassured the mother that her son is developing fine. And that the clumsiness is merely him testing his limits. Encouraged more outdoor activities and exercise for hyperactivity. She stated that he could gain more responsibilities with farm work, after some persuasion.
Previous Test Results: Four nodules ranging in size from 2-3 cm found in spinal column. Suggestive of future biotic ability. The child is being monitored closely for any tumor growth or thyroid issues. So far, all test results are within normal range.
Certificate of Death
Deceased Name: Jane Joy Shepard
Sex: Female
Date of Birth:April 20th 2161
Date of Death: April 23rd 2170
Cause of Death: Gunshot wound to the head.
Date Filed With Registrar: July 30th 2178
It took a moment to register, having researched Shepard's career years ago. But if she wasn't mistaken, Jane's death certificate was filed a few weeks after Torfan. Despite everything, John was still looking out for her. Still hoping. Keelah, she wanted to tell him. To walk in that room and tell the story of Jane's rescue. That his long lost sister was the reason she was here in the first place. But with all the listening devices, it wasn't a realistic daydream.
There were more files embedded beneath another layer of encryption. Breaching it may result in a few alarm bells. Well, provided the data-pad was connected to the wireless. There was no way to be certain. So, she cleared the screen and slipped the data-pad beneath the mattress; hoping she could find a way to smuggle it out when the time came.
The last thing she wanted to do was tip them off about Jane. From what she read, they knew of her existence but not her survival. All evidence pointed to Cerberus remaining oblivious to 1182's identity. Leading her to believe they saw Jane as another human biotic to capture or control like they tried with Grayson.
She thought on it for a time. Watching as the stars drifted lazily out the port-side window. And then, with no small amount of apprehension, she reached for the com. It was only capable of inter-station calls of course, not even possessing the necessary hardware required to reach the outside world. Cerberus took no chances with her. But as far as she could see, this was the only way to free both herself and John. Plus she was concerned about the effect it could have on him, should Miranda unwittingly obliterate a portion of his memory. It wasn't the truth. But it wasn't a complete lie, either. Tali sighed, a heavy sound in the otherwise empty room, and dialed. Hoping against all hope she wasn't about to make a grave error.
Wilson's irritated voice answered. "What do you want?"
"I need to speak with Miranda."
"She's barely slept the past few days. Unless you're dying, I don't see why this can't wait."
"I think I know what's wrong with Shepard. Why we're stuck on the final restoration. Just put her through, would you?"
"Fine but if she's pissed, it's your ass."
It was so unusual for Tali to reach out to a member of the Cerberus team, that Miranda came directly to her quarters. Her eyes narrowed as she told the tale of the Rotund. The woman was pissed. "Why would you keep this a secret? I needed to know this a long time ago."
"I'm not even certain I'm right!"
"It seems damn clear to me. He's not stuck on Mindoir. We're exactly where we need to be. You realize this entire operation could have been jeopardized because of your selfishness?"
"Look, it's not like we found her. And if Jane is out there, the girl couldn't be more than a mindless husk - that was the mission's main conclusion. All the adult slaves were chipped. It was terribly grim. Afterwards, I didn't really think about it. For good reason. Then, tonight, it just sort of came to me… One of those middle of the night thoughts that pop into your head. I'm still not certain. He was talking about failing her. And like I said, she wouldn't… couldn't… have been her anymore anyway! I just thought you should know."
Miranda sighed. "Well, hopefully you're right. This could be the missing piece. And if it is, we're all but finished. The rest….. the rest is just healing up his scars. And rechecking his physical capabilities." She turned on her heel, eager to update her fastidious notes most likely, and left without another word.
Now alone with her thoughts, Tali returned to bed. But sleep didn't come. She laid awake staring at the ceiling. Counting tiles. Counting the little pock-marks on the tiles. Hoping she didn't just betray her closest friend. And if she had, that he could understand her reasons. Besides, worst case scenario, it's not like Cerberus could reach Jane. Provided she as still on Tuchanka anyhow. How strange to think of the days when her biggest concern was that woman surviving the planet. Now she prayed to the Ancestors that the girl hadn't left. After all, Cerberus would not fair well against a krogan army. Wrex would probably eat them if they so much as tried.