"Even the Odds" (Rose)
A morning such as this would normally set me at ease and fill me with an undaunted hope for the day. The crisp air invigorates my lungs, and today, supplies me with ultimate defiance and determination.
I do not doubt Merlin's magical abilities in the least. As a matter of fact, I believe in them so much, I am going to prevent him from using them. If he is discovered … I can't even bring myself to the thought. 'It will never happen,' my heart and mind, in sync, resolve together.
The sun is just beginning to rise, and much to my luck, Merlin has not yet woken up. I must resume my schedule as normal. Only once he and Gaius have left can my work begin. When the world seems to be working against you, it's time to take matters into your own hands and even the odds.
And there's only one person I know who is up to the task.
My mind is so bent on what I know I have to do that my own chores pass me by without a single thought towards them. Gaius quietly collects his medicine for his daily rounds as Merlin emerges from his room. His steps are slow, but calm as he ruffles his bedhead into submission. "Is there a proper way to request a last meal?"
The quip of his teasing, yet sullen words shake me back to the here and now for a portion of time. "Merlin," his name rolls off my tongue almost authoritatively, and even Gaius raises a brow in shock. This voice does not sound like my own. It certainly does not feel like my own … I now realize that I am horrified with the weight of my unshared idea that I know I must carry out alone. I don't believe I have ever done anything of the like on my own before … Despite this, I continue. "Do not say such things." Deriving that my tone is still bordering upon the harsher side of what I truly mean, for the first time, I have to make a conscious effort to add a tenderness to what I say to him. "You will be alright. We all will." I force the teeniest of smiles.
"Are you sure you're going to be alright? You don't seem yourself this morning," Merlin crosses the room, cautiously approaching me with too deep of an analytical gaze than I would like at the moment.
"I don't know what you mean," my lie cuts me to the quick. I just lied to Merlin for the first time. This is a wretched, sickening experience I do not wish to have to repeat in the future. But I swallow my inhibitions and muddle through. I know this is for his own safety. "I'm perfectly fine, Merlin." Goodness. I sound as cold and distant as my fingertips feel. "What I mean to say is, I know that you will look after us all, as you always do … I have no cause to worry that you will fail. Because you will not. And we will never let you fall." My own statement grounds my mind and body, setting me far more at ease. This is the most like myself that I have been all morning. "Now, enjoy the first meal of a new day that will go as we intend it to," I say, placing a reassuring hand on his arm as his eyes continue to search my countenance.
Though he is not entirely convinced, he lets go of his quizzical nature and does as I ask, complimenting my cooking as he always does. With every word we exchange, my fears dissolve bit by bit. As he leaves for his day, any leftover leeriness follows him.
"Rose, dear," Gaius calls from across the room as he finishes packing his ever-faithful medicine bag. "Do not trouble yourself with concern for Merlin. We will do everything we can to protect him. And he will protect Arthur, just as he does every day." He crosses to me, his supplies now strung over his shoulder.
"You are right, Gaius. I will worry no more," I say with certainty.
I kiss his weathered cheek, and bid him farewell. Right as his feet cross the threshold of the door, I tread quickly to my room and pull out the leather pack from beneath my bed. I do not suppose Gaius will mind me borrowing it, considering he will never know it was gone in the first place.
I secure it at my side and casually make my way to the stables.
As I'm prepping Storm for our ride, a male voice from behind startles me.
"Going somewhere, milady?" Arthur's strangely softened tone reaches my ears.
"Just for a leisurely ride, Sire," I turn and bow.
"With a pack at the ready?" he upturns an eyebrow in suspicion.
"Just enough rations for a mid-day meal," I reply, with a deep sense of shame that that came to me so swiftly. I really don't fancy falsehoods, even if it is for a just cause.
"I suppose you will be missing the tournament, then?" he infers with an air of disappointment.
"Not at all, Arthur. I hope to be back in plenty of time to watch the melee," I smile in affirmation.
"Oh," he brightens. "And will you join us for the celebration afterward? I may force Merlin to wear a traditional garment even a court jester would be embarrassed to be seen in."
"Do spare him, Your Majesty," I gently plea. "Every time you are in the least bit of danger, it frightens him so."
"I know," he comments thoughtfully. "Speaking of frightening him … I haven't yelled at him yet today. I should go do that, so he doesn't venture to imagine I am the least bit nervous." He begins to exit the stable with a saunter.
"Are you?" my question stops him short.
He stands in silence, his back still to me. "I must admit … As much as I hate to admit most things, I do take weight with the caution of others and the unsettled nature of my own instincts. But I cannot let that stop me. This is not a game when you are someone of my position. Everything I do is also watched and weighed against the wellbeing of an entire kingdom."
I step up behind him and place my left hand upon his right shoulder. "Believe it or not I understand. It is wise of you to listen to yourself and others you trust. I would ask, if you trust me, to remember not everything is as it seems. Stay on your toes. Do not let your guard down and assume that the warriors on the field today do not wish you ill. As you said, your life is the future of this kingdom."
"You know, I was right about something for sure," I hear the smile in his voice. "You ARE an asset. Thank you, Rose." He looks over his shoulder at me with tenderness, "I will be fine."
"I know," I give his shoulder a light squeeze and remove my hand forthwith. "All the same, best of luck to you, Prince Arthur." He grants me a smile and takes his leave.
Not wishing to converse with anyone else within the kingdom in fear that I must conjure more words I do not wish to speak for lack of truth telling, I release Storm from his stall and leap onto his back as best I know how. My faithful steed responds in turn, reading my spirit through his own instincts, by taking off at a decent speed, but not fast enough to raise any alarm or question.
Once past the lower town and through the last of the guards that are station to filter who enters Camelot for the tournament, I decide the best and probably only way to locate Gwaine was the ride with the wind to the nearest tavern.
After traveling a comfortable distance, a strong sense is telling me to forsake my normal route and take to the road. I look to the sky, and upon seeing the position of the sun, a reasonable worry touches my soul. It hadn't struck me that the morning had grown so late. The melee would begin within the next hour.
Unable to sustain myself as well in my solitude, I begin calling aloud for Gwaine. Directing Storm back into a steady trot, my voice echoes more with each beckoning. "Gwaine, please! If you won't come back for Arthur or for Merlin, come back for me!"
A shadowy figure slowly steps into view. Lifting his bushy head of hair and with not a stagger in his movement, Gwaine smiles slyly up at me, "Well, well, well … I thought you'd never ask."
"The Outside" (Merlin)
My head is threatening to split in two with thoughts of concern for Arthur and worrisome guesses about Gwaine and Rose. She simply was not herself this morning, and hasn't been the same since he left. Is it at all possible she felt something for him? There no way to know without asking. And speaking of asking, I have a few questions for everyone's favorite prat. I decide to concentrate on what to say to him for now, because at least I will receive some sort of answers that won't shatter my hopes completely.
Like clockwork, I set out Arthur's armor as he prefers it, and he arrives to get ready.
A couple of needling comments pass between the two of us, and a tense silence fraught with uncertainty grips the morning air.
"You know those moments when I tell you something isn't a good idea?" I interject as I carry the sword over to Arthur.
"And then I ignore you, yeah," Arthur shirks, continuing to fuss with his belt.
"And then I'm proved right?" I extend my question.
"Merlin, your concern for my wellbeing is touching," he says with minimal veracity.
"I'm serious," I progress before he can. "I think you should withdraw."
"Look, I know you think the melee is some kind of stupid game, but it's more than that. It's about proving to the people that I'm fit to lead them," a now completely genuine Arthur stands before me.
"I know." I nod, holding out his sword for him to grasp and arm himself. "Just be careful."
Fully realizing there will be no stopping him as he exits his chambers, my mind begins to sort through millions of ideas that lead to nowhere about how to stop these false knights from the outside.
My thoughts bouncing around in my brain come to a crashing halt when Arthur says, "Though I do not doubt her character, I do hope Rose is able to keep her word."
"Rose?" Her name sticks in my throat. "What has she pledged?"
"She stated she would be back in time for the melee," he replies nonchalantly, as if I should know.
"Back? Back from where?" Panic begins to drown my being.
"She didn't say where exactly," he answers. "But she said she's taking a leisurely morning ride. I only thought it odd that she brought a pack unsuitably large for that sort of pleasure. If I didn't know her better, I would be satisfied with the fact that she is a woman who simply does not consider any sort of misleading appearances … But unfortunately, I do know her better."
"Perhaps she brought the pack for herb collecting, Sire," I comment so as to encourage distracting thoughts out of his mind.
"Perhaps," he sighs, sounding slightly more settled with that suggestion. I'm glad one of us is.