Cacophony of Suffering

Four Months and Two Weeks since the Last Death (Three Deaths)

His body trembled, his breath caught, and his heartbeat accelerated to its speed limit. With tears of despair building in his eyes, Subaru blinked multiple times, hoping that the figure he was looking at was nothing more than an illusion. But after a few tortuous seconds pleading for the figure to vanish, he had no choice but to accept that the figure was real. Elsa had returned for him.

Then, the questions began to swirl in his head. Why was Elsa there? Hadn't she been stopped by Reinhard? How did she find him? Why was she looking for him? Subaru in that timeline had never met the woman, so there was no reason for her to be looking for him. Unless…

"Did she hear that I sent Reinhard? Did she survive her encounter with him, escaped, and returned for revenge?"

Deep down, Subaru understood that didn't make much sense. How would she have found out that he was the one who sent Reinhard? Subaru may not have known the man very much, but the short time he was with him, was enough to understand that he wasn't the type of person to underestimate his rivals. Then the Sword Saint would never have revealed information that would have endangered Subaru.

Or at least that's what he wanted to believe. However, it was obvious that, for whatever reason, Elsa was there for him. His gaze met Elsa's, who kept her gaze relaxed. The woman didn't seem to react to being noticed, she didn't even move a muscle. It was like a predator examining its prey, patiently searching for the best moment to attack.

Subaru was aware that if he didn't do something, he would die again, and he wasn't willing to allow it. With his gaze still crossed with that of the assassin, he scanned his surroundings with the corner of his eyes. He was alone, in the middle of the bridge. The streets connected by the bridge were desolate, as he was relatively far from any of the main canals. And the nearest ship couldn't be closer than a thousand feet away.

For a moment, he considered fleeing by jumping into the water canal, but he had already witnessed Elsa's perfect aim when throwing her combat knives. Leaving that option aside, he considered running away to one of the two streets connected by the bridge, but the danger of being stabbed in the back by a thrown knife was the same. After thinking for a moment, he realized that Elsa had revealed herself to him, because she had him cornered.

With increasingly larger tears forming in his eyes, Subaru began to feel a of phantom pain deep within his bowels. His body, before he knew it, had already given in to the idea of dying at the hands of the cruel killer. Realizing how desperate his situation was, his legs lost strength and, had he not leaned against the edge of the bridge, he would have collapsed to the ground. Up on the cornice of the house she was standing, the figure, which was an omen of death, smiled.

"D-Dammit…" With his jaw quivering and his teeth banging against each other, Subaru cursed that he was the victim of the Elsa's murderous games again. Seeing her with her erotic smile, full of satisfaction, the fear he had been feeling slowly turned into wrath. Until unadulterated hatred exploded inside her chest. No, he wouldn't let the woman enjoy making him shudder like a coward, without at least trying to do something about it.

"I d-don't plan to d-die here! Now it's m-my turn t-to fight f-for my fucking h-happy ending!" Ignoring the urge in his body that begged him to surrender, Subaru stood up and started running towards the direction where he believed the main street was. Pleading that his sense of direction didn't fail him, Subaru ran without stopping, zigzagging with the aim of becoming a more difficult target to hit.

"Please! Please! The main street has to be this way!" Biting his lip so hard that jets of blood ran down his throat and neck, Subaru ran with all his momentum, ignoring the pain in his lungs caused by the lack of oxygen. His body, bathed in sweat, was being pushed to the limit, and even so, his speed didn't decrease in the slightest. Thanks to the adrenaline rushing through his body, Subaru was able to travel hundreds of feet in just a few seconds.

"I believe it's here! It has to be!" Once he reached the end of the street, Subaru turned left. As he remembered that that path should lead to the street next to the main canal. Considering that it was barely past lunchtime, he expected there would be quite a few people there. Hopefully, that would be enough to prevent Elsa from momentarily attacking him. After that, he would have to find a way to contact Anastasia. With her help, or rather, the help of Julius and the Fang of Iron, it should be possible to stop Elsa.

But his train of thought, which had bad become a bit optimistic, collapsed completely. With his lungs close to breakdown, his eyes clouded with sweat and tears, his head about to explode from a migraine, and his entire body about to collapse, Subaru stared at the end of the road. The end of his journey. The end of his life. In front of him was a lion-headed beast with the body of a horse and a serpent-shaped tail.

If there was anything from his world that Subaru could relate it to, it would be with the mythical creature called the Chimera. The being, which functioned as a barrier preventing him from reaching his destination, bellowed softly but in an incredibly hostile way; that was a threat, there was no doubt about it. Behind the monstrous being, Subaru could see the exit that led directly to the street next to the main canal, but there was nothing he could do to get there. And it was clear that if he tried to scream for help, he would be eaten before he could.

Exhaling a mouthful of breath, Subaru for a moment considered the option of returning to the street where he came from, in order to continue his escape. He couldn't think of a place to go to, yet the only thing his soul craved was to extend his life as much as possible. But that pathetic hope was devoured by Elsa's cynical smile, which was less than a yard from him, blocking the only exit he had left.

"Ha..." Mocking his own misfortune, Subaru gave a lone laugh directed at himself. Immediately, his body gave way, and with it, all the fluid inside his bladder was also released. Falling into a puddle of his own urine, Subaru stared blankly at the erotic figure of his death. "Ha... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha..."

"I think our target's already been screeewed up, Elsa. Do you reeeeally think there's any point in continuing with this? What a disappoiiiintment, after our client warned us soooo many times that we should be careful deeeealing with him, and it turned out that he was noooothing compared with what he told us." Subaru, despite his mind condition, could heard that a completely out of place voice, high-pitched and childish, came from over the monstrous being. Erratically, Subaru moved his eyes searching for the source of the voice, not caring if Elsa took advantage of that moment to open his abdomen.

"Hnnk!" Surprised, Subaru exclaimed with a stifled gesture. There, on top of the chimera-shaped beast, was a girl who couldn't have been more than twelve years old. Her small body was wrapped in a black suit, her blue hair was styled similarly to Elsa's, and her eyes the same color as her hair conveyed innocence. What was a girl like that doing in that place?

"Oh! The Onii-san seems to be moooore aware of his surroundings than I thought. Hi, I'm Meili! And this liiiiittle one's my friend Guiltylowe." The girl, noticing the gaze that fell on her, presented both herself and the monster she was riding. Finally, Subaru understood that this girl, Meili, wasn't just any girl. Her smile, which must have been innocent, was flirtatious and conveyed lust; something not at all appropriate for a little girl of her age.

"W-what's going on?" Having calmed down a bit, Subaru finally expressed the doubt that was overwhelming him. "W-why are y-you doing t-this to me?"

"I think you're right, Meili. Still, the client was clear in saying that we should make him suffer copiously before ending his life. And since we received full payment in advance, there is no other choice." Elsa, completely ignoring Subaru, answered Meili's question.

"Hmm… Whateeeever… You're the one who enjoys aaall that, so for the time being I'll make sure no one interruuupts us." The girl, with an indifferent gesture, climbed the body of the beast she was riding, until she disappeared behind its mane.

"You know well that what really fascinates me is appreciating the hidden beauty of the bowels. Torture isn't that bad, but I'm not satisfied with it as the beauty of the recently ripped bowels does." Elsa, smiling, proclaimed that her love was only directed towards to the bowels of her victims and nothing else. "Anyway, when I'm done with you, I'll definitely find out how beautiful your insides are."

"Hnk!" With his eyes wide open, Subaru slowly and painfully processed the conversation between the two assassins. Were they going to torture him? Why? "I-I don't wanna!" Crawling over the huge puddle he left after expelling all the fluid from his bladder, Subaru again refused to accept his fate.

He hated the thought of dying, the feeling of his life fading away is something Subaru wished never to feel again until his definitive final moment arrived, many years ahead in the future. But the notion of dying slowly, while being tortured... The horror that made him feel that thought was enough to make him fight again not to perish at the hands of Elsa. Still, it was clear that he was physically in no condition to put up any resistance, so crawling was his only method of showing that he refused to accept his fate. Unfortunately for him, that wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Ohhh… so are you fighting for your life again? Yes, that makes everything so much better. Fight, fight! Let's enjoy the slow end of your existence together."

"Arrghhhh!" A muffled scream escaped from Subaru's mouth, accompanied by saliva and blood. As he crawled, Elsa took the opportunity to kick him in the abdomen with all her strength, causing him to hit the wall of the alley. Feeling dizzy, Subaru could notice that his sight was starting to redden. Blood gushed from his head, completely soaking his face.

"Ahhhh… I hope that wasn't enough to discourage you from continuing to fight. Is your desire to live so small?"

"Hnngh! D-Damn bitch!" Spitting blood, Subaru looked at Elsa, who was right next to him. Knowing that no matter what he did, his destiny would be the same, made him feel extremely desperate. Of course he wanted to live, he wanted to fight, he wanted to escape that place alive. But no matter how intense those wishes were, there was nothing he could do. That's something he learned the day he arrived in that world.

"Hmm... hmm... So there was still some spirit within you. That's good, of course it is." The woman smirked as she pulled out one of her knives. "I suppose we can start now. What do you think, Meili?"

"I'm nooot sure … The only thing I hear is the Onii-san's patheeeetic whimpers." Meili, from the other side of the beast, replied apathetically.

"Well, in that case… We'll do this as slowly as possible. Fortunately, I know perfectly well where to cut to inflict as much pain as possible." Crouching down, Elsa took one of Subaru's arms. He tried to free himself forcefully, while exhaling violently, but any resistance was useless.

The woman started by making a cut in the inner crease of his right elbow, causing a scream to come out of his mouth; a howl that Elsa silenced by hitting him on the nose, after which she gagged him with a piece of cloth. Then, she slipped the edge of her knife between each of the fingers of his hand. Discarding that hand, Elsa then took the left hand. Subaru, distressed by the pain, squirmed to keep the woman from continuing her work. Once again, it was completely useless.

"Gugugu..." With both arms completely rendered useless, Subaru let out a pathetic moan devoid of all human intelligence.

"Okay, now let's continue with the fingers." Then, using her incredibly sharp knife, Elsa sliced each of his fingers, as if they were carrots.

Little by little, the woman stripped Subaru of his limbs completely, finally leaving a torso with a head. The sound of skin being torn, the sound of flesh being cut, the sound of bones being crushed; that cacophony of death sounds was fragmenting his being from outside to inside. How he was still alive, it was something he couldn't understand.

"K-Kill m-eh... Pleash..." Subaru, despaired, tried to vocalize through his gag.

"Hmm... Nooo, we're not done yet." The woman then proceeded to strip him of what remained of his pants.

Before he could understand what was about to happen, incredible pain clouded his consciousness. Elsa, using all her strength, had just castrated him, completely crushing his genitals with the knife handle. At that moment, everything began to darken for Subaru, his consciousness was dissipating… But tremendous pain woke him up again. In the woman's hands was what was left of his manhood; a piece of skin, probably scrotum, hanging from her fingers completely smeared with blood.

In his head there was nothing but suffering and hatred. Hatred towards Elsa, hatred towards the monster that prevented him from escaping, hatred towards the girl who was riding it, hatred towards Anastasia for taking him to that place, hatred towards Leith and Otto for helping him end up in that place, but most of all, he hated himself. He hated his weakness, He hated his lack of courage, he hated his behavior, he hated his lack of action, he hated everything about Natsuki Subaru. Because if he were a little stronger, diligent, and cunning, maybe he wouldn't be suffering as much.

Using his tongue, Subaru managed to free himself, in part, from the gag. Screaming with full force, Subaru tried to bite his own tongue, thus trying to escape the punishment he was suffering for his weakness. But Elsa dislocated his jaw with a blow, leaving him with a strong taste of iron in his mouth. Immediately after, Elsa cut off his ears and tore off his scalp, causing him to start convulsing.

Although Elsa didn't care, because she kept making cuts on his face, while she stopped him by straddling him. She cut off his nose and lips, then ripped out his teeth and tongue. And Subaru, who was unable to feel more than agony and pain, realized that the woman had got back to her feet. The pain he felt was so intense that he had never wanted to die so much, yet, for a reason he didn't understand, he didn't die.

It hurt, it hurt a lot, it hurt so much that he could die, it hurt so much that he longed to die. It hurt so much that his sanity had vanished. It hurt so much that his mind could only process pain. It hurt so much that he forgot where he was. It hurt so much that he forgot his name. It hurt so much that the pain was the only thing that was part of his being. Pain and more pain, now he was only a being of pain.

"I think we can go on with the dessert now…" Licking her lips, Elsa brought her knife to Subaru's abdomen and, ecstatically, made a cut along it. Then his intestines, like lava from a volcano, were expelled from his body and scattered on the ground, leaving a strong smell of blood and shit in the air. "Ohhh... Amazing! Your bowels are sooo beautiful. They have a splendid pink color. They really made it worth the effort..."

What's going on? Why do I feel so much pain? Why's everything black? Why's everything white? Why am I not with my parents? Where're my parents? I need them…! Why am I still alive? I'm scared, terrified. Everything hurts me, it hurts so much that death seems beautiful to me. I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die, I want to die, I want to die...

"I… w-a-n-t… t-o… d-i-e…"

"Are you suffering? Are you dying? But we were having such a good time... you know? At another time, I'd have let you die while appreciating your beautiful bowels, but our client was especially explicit that we'd have to give you an extremely slow and painful death, so... Meili."

"Finaaaally, I was getting bored... Little Guiltylowe, you know what to do. And don't forget to cheeeeew." Having received his master's order, the monster approached the shattered torso that was all that remained of Subaru, with its mouth open. "Elsa, don't forgeeet the magic ooore."

"Right... If we lose it, Mother will definitely punish us. We definitely don't want that to happen after our failure in the capital."

"Our failure? I didn't even participaaaate."

"Whatever... Finish him off at once, someone will soon realize everything that happened here." With a gesture of understanding, Meili finally indicated to the being called Guiltylowe to eat Subaru. "Before you die... For some reason, our client asked us to give you this parting message: You made the wrong decision. Now I'll do everything necessary for you to fix the mistakes you've made and comply with what is written in the book." After transmitting him that message, Elsa took the ore that she had placed on his body without him noticing and left him for the beast to swallow.

With his mind finally released from what was holding it back, an ephemeral part of his consciousness managed to catch Elsa's last words. Afterwards, everything went silent, but only momentarily, since the world was soon filled with the sounds of something breaking. It was his ribs, his severed limbs, his entire being, that was being chewed on. With one last wave of numb pain, Subaru felt his skull being crushed by the monster's powerful jaws. From there, everything went black and his body plunged into a sea of shadows that were loaded with alienated feelings.

Zero Days since the Last Death (Four Deaths)

"Arrghhhh!" Screaming, Subaru convulsed where he was. His head ached, his stomach was churning, and his body wouldn't stop shuddering. Shaking his head, Subaru hugged his body with difficulty, while escaping from the cruel hands of the assassins who were mutilating him. The tears flooded his eyes and his heart was beating so fast that he felt that at any moment he could have a heart attack; however, none of that mattered to him. All Subaru wanted was to escape the woman who kept brutalizing his body.

"Natsuki-kun?!" Even though he was hiding in his emotional shell, Subaru realized that that that voice didn't belong to Elsa. Slowly, he stopped covering his face, only to notice that a beautiful woman with aqua green eyes was looking at him with a worried expression. In addition, three children with similar characteristics to each other, also looked at him, bewildered.

"A-Anastasia?" Trembling, Subaru asked for the woman's name. As if the answer he received depended on accepting that everything around him was real.

"Yes, It's me. Is somethin' wrong, Natsuki-kun? Out of nowhere ya started screamin' and..." I came back, Subaru thought, before puking into the dragon carriage.

"I don't get how it happened... Throughout the whole trip he was fine and out of nowhere..."

"I understand what you are trying to say, Anastasia-sama... Are you all right? Did he hurt you when he started having the panic attack?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine, Julius… It's just that… I'm still in shock. I've never seen a person have such an emotional breakdown. Not even when I lived on the streets of Kararagi."

"Hmm… It really is strange, miss. Julius, do ya think it could be due to a magical attack? Like a curse or something similar?"

"I've never heard of anything like that. Not something focused on mentally destroying the target. Besides, the healer we took him to said that wasn't the case… Anastasia-sama, what should we do with him? I'm against returning to the capital with the condition he is in, it could endanger both him and us."

"Hmm… He's now part of my company, so we can't just put him aside. But the magic healer made it clear that there's nothin' we can do for him, so I honestly don't know how I'd deal with the situation. Ricardo, what do ya think's the most logical course of action to take?"

"It's as ya said, miss. This's a complicated situation. The most logical thing would be to return to the capital to begin his recovery there, but as Julius says, his condition makes the return trip especially difficult to do."

"Hmm… I see this time we won't find an easy way out. If he weren't such a valuable asset to the company, I could just send him back to the capital, but I'm afraid this may be an indirect attack on both him and me. So for now we'll have to wait and see how his mental health progresses. In the meantime, I'll have no choice but to hand over to the design department the drawings that Natsuki-kun brought and wait to see if his condition improves during this week. If it doesn't, we'll have to think of somethin' else... "

Subaru was able to hear Anastasia, Julius, and Ricardo as they talked to each other. The three of them were outside his room at the Water Plumage Inn. At that moment, his body hadn't stopped shaking, his head felt like it was about to explode and his eyes were red from crying. The horror he suffered during his previous death was so great, that different parts of his body suffered spasms from time to time.

After returning from death, Anastasia took a Subaru in complete shock to the nearer magic healer's office, where he examined him. The healer determined that he was physically healthy and that everything was in his mind. Anastasia, on the way to the inn, questioned him about his condition. But just thinking about the horrors suffered during his torture made her nauseous. So after a while, she gave up on understanding what brought him to that condition.

With the help of Julius and Ricardo, Subaru walked to his inn room, where he collapsed completely. And now that he was alone, the voices of his traveling companions were the only thing keeping him sane. Just imagining being alone for more than a minute caused him to vomit and his body began to tremble more violently. So, with agony drawn on his face, Subaru hugged his own body and forced himself to sleep.

Eight Hours since the Last Death (Four Deaths)

The hot knife sliced through his flesh like butter. While Subaru pleaded, the shadow used its weapon to slice Subaru part by part, as if he were a vegetable. As much as Subaru pleaded, the shadow, smiling, persisted with its task. Finger by finger, muscle by muscle, bone by bone, organ by organ, the figure stripped Subaru of his humanity. It trampled on his being. And spat out his corpse. All to end up being swallowed as if he were the remains of the food...

"Ahhhhhhh! Stoooop! I beg you!" Bellowing, Subaru got up from the futon he was on, his face bathed in tears and his crotch soaked. Trembling, Subaru noticed that fear had caused him to urinate himself, again. "Fu-ck..." Drowning a shriek of pain, Subaru covered his face.

"Mimi, look for an inn employee, please. Tell him the futon will need to be changed."

"Yup, miss! I'll do it super-fast!" Hearing that exchange of words, Subaru looked up, to meet Anastasia's gaze. Realizing the situation he was in, Subaru hid with the sheet.

"Anastasia, I..." Unable to find words to justify himself, Subaru fell silent halfway.

Sighing, Anastasia sat next to the futon he was lying on, on the tatami mat. "I came to ask ya that if ya wanted to join us for dinner or if ya preferred the food to be brought to your room; but I see that it'll have to be the latter."

"Ehmm… Thanks, t-that would d-definitely be fi-ne." Ashamed, Subaru looked down, still trembling, as he spoke, stuttering a bit.

"Natsuki-kun, I really would like to help ya in some way... But if ya don't tell me or someone about what happened to ya, about what ya feel. It'll be impossible for me to do something for ya." Anastasia, radiating an aura of reassurance, spoke to him that way. As the owner of the company Subaru now worked for, and her traveling companion for almost a month, it was clear that she felt partly responsible for him.

"You don't need to b-bother so much a-about me, Anastasia-sama."

"Hmm… so now ya're gonna speak to me formally again?" Smiling softly, Anastasia tried to lighten the mood, but Subaru's expression didn't change. Sighing once more, Anastasia changed her sitting position. "Ya know, now I'm your boss, so it's my duty to care about ya. If my employees are unhappy, what does that say about me? Besides, I already told ya, I have high expectations for ya and your ideas, so I'm not interested in ya falling apart before I can make a profit." Her words were blunt, and from the way she spoke, it was obvious that she wasn't lying. However, they carried with them an implicit kindness that managed to slightly calm Subaru's heart. "So let me help ya. It doesn't matter if it's today, tomorrow or in a week. If ya feel ready to talk, I'm 'ere to listen to ya."

"Anastasia, why're y-you being so k-kind to me?" Subaru's question initially took the girl by surprise. But when she was about to answer, he continued. "And I'm not j-just talking about t-this moment. I'm talking about h-how you have treat-ed m-me since the day we met, when y-you allowed Otto to be part of the agree-ment even though it wa-wasn't necessary. Or through the trip... You w-were always attentive t-that I was comfortable… even if I… I don't deserve it."

Subaru was aware of the reasons behind all of that. Subaru had already discussed it with Otto and Leith; he knew that Anastasia was interested in the ideas that were inside her head. Even she herself had affirmed it. But in the condition he was in at the time, all his thoughts, ideas, and emotions were mixed up. And he felt that he wasn't worthy of that greedy kindness of Anastasia.

"Don't ya deserve it? Hmm... If ya didn't deserve it, I can assure ya that my treatment with ya would be totally different. And I can also assure ya that I'm quite good at judgin' people, hence I'm where I'm. If I consider that ya deserve a decent treatment, then ya should accept it and respond equivalently. So ya don't have to beat yourself up that much... "

"But my id-ideas aren't mi-mine... I'm just c-copying what the real g-geniuses of my world did... So..."

"Ya know the fact that ya come from after the Great Waterfall is very hard to believe, Natsuki-kun... Still, if that was the case, and your ideas come from there. Then that wouldn't change anything for me. Your ideas are yours and nobody else's, because no one else can have 'em. As much as ya try to copy somethin', it's inevitable that part of ya'll influence it in the process. So everythin' ya have devised so far, and everything ya'll devise, certainly it'll have a part of ya; makin' it, that way, yours… Or at least that's what I think. Does that answer your question?"

"I think s-so..."

"Well, in that case, I'll tell one of the cooks to send you the best they've. Mimi by this point should have already spoken to one of the inn employees, so at any moment they'd come change the futon." Getting up, Anastasia started to leave the room.

"Anastasia..." But before leaving completely, Subaru's call stopped her.

"What do ya want? Are ya finally in the mood to tell me what's got ya in that condition?" With her hands on her waist, Anastasia looked with an expression of interest and slight reproach at Subaru.

"C-could you s-stay with me?" But what came out of Subaru's mouth wasn't what she expected. "Please…"