Witch's Ordeal
One Hour and Five Minutes since the Last Death (Seventeen Deaths)
Enraged, maddened, desperate, frustrated, Subaru pounded his fists over and over again on the ground. The skin of his fingers, the dead, blistered skin of his hands, peeled away, exposing the muscles of his fists. Consequently, blood began to puddle on the paved floor, which he punched insistently. Blood and bile mingled, creating an unpleasant substance that visually represented the flow of emotions that had erupted within him.
The self-loathing ever recurring in his psyche grew and grew until it surpassed every limit set by his own mind. If only he had not stayed to listen to the witch's lies. If only he had turned a deaf ear to Pandora's tempting words. She knew what he wanted, and she had trapped him with it like a carnivorous plant. Subaru had fallen into temptation and had given in to his pathetic desires.
He needed answers, he really did. His very existence in that world was surrounded by a dense, dark aura of mystery, and to shed light on why he had come to that world was vital to understanding what his role was there. To understand that ability with which he had been cursed and blessed in equal measure, to understand why he had been brought to that world by force, to understand why he could not speak of the Return by Death, to understand why he had been chosen. His urge to understand the mysteries surrounding his presence in that strange world, his obsession to get answers... It had led him to neglect his main mission.
Subaru was weak, extremely weak and powerless, that had been engraved deeper and deeper into his mind and heart, as each loop ended with an excruciating and agonizing death. He had been forced to abandon people he had once wished to protect, and he had been forced to make despicable decisions that went against the morals that had been instilled in him in his world. His weakness had forced him to shed some of his humanity.
And because of that pathetic and despicable weakness, Subaru had decided to make only one thing his top priority, whilst parting with much of what he once held precious, and that was Anastasia's destiny. His top priority was to prevent his and Anastasia's destiny from drifting too far away from each other to the point where it would be impossible for him to continue protecting her.
If Anastasia's destiny became unreachable by his hands, which, despite being weak, ironically were capable of altering destiny itself, there would be no turning back. Just as he was now totally unable to recover the lost destiny of Crusch Karsten and her subordinates or the destiny of the slaughtered family of Leith, there was the terrible possibility that the same could happen to Anastasia if he was not careful.
That is why he had made it his second priority to avoid wasting time, so taking as little time as possible fighting enemies or staying in one place was crucial. He had abandoned the destinies of allies and friends just to increase his chances of getting to the castle as soon as possible. He had given up so much in order to focus entirely on protecting Anastasia's destiny... And yet, he had stopped along the way to listen to the falsehoods spewed from the deceitful mouth of the Witch of Vanity.
How many questions had he asked? How many questions had he not asked? The time he wasted asking questions that would be answered by a person he did not trust. The time he wasted pondering questions he forgot to ask. The time he wasted absorbed by Pandora's unnatural murderous beauty, the time he wasted throwing tantrums and attacking the witch. That time he wasted was extremely valuable.
He could have fled, he could have mounted Patrasche and taken advantage of the lack of hostility shown by Pandora and thus made his escape from there; but he did not. He had convinced himself with self-indulgent excuses. Halibel had split from him and the group of mercenaries and had headed for the castle before everyone else. Halibel, the fastest of the group, had been the first to leave for the castle.
Confident that Halibel, just by virtue of being Halibel, would have no problem saving Anastasia, Subaru had allowed himself to put his top priority aside in favor of satisfying his yearning for answers. Even though he was aware that Pandora's word was unreliable, he had selfishly allowed himself to selfishly waste valuable time that he had previously decided not to spend thinking of ways to keep moving forward without discarding Otto's and Leith's destinies.
Despicable selfishness and unjustified self-centeredness were the cause of the crisis he was now forced to deal with. Hence the self-loathing that boiled in his heart began to burn his organs and his blood, hence he kept punching the ground desperately, even though the skin on his fists had already been completely torn off, completely peeled off.
Small cobbles had gotten embedded in his exposed tissues, pebbles had buried themselves in his exposed flesh, thus causing more and more blood to paint the pavement's surface with each blow he landed on it. Subaru ignored the pain and kept pounding, seeking to vent his anger, his self-loathing, his frustration. Perhaps in this way he could relieve the pain in his soul.
"...Boy! Stop it already! You're hurtin' yerself!" Ignoring the words of a dismayed Ricardo, Subaru continued to punch the ground in sheer despair.
Subaru's reaction had caught Ricardo by surprise, and since his body was covered in wounds and he was exhausted, he had been slow to react to stop Subaru. Unable to understand the reason behind Subaru's fit of rage, Ricardo grabbed Subaru from behind and lifted him off the ground, thus preventing him from being able to hurt his hands any further.
Crazed, Subaru began to writhe, kick and throw punches, but, undaunted, Ricardo stayed in place, even when more than one of Subaru's kicks and punches ended up striking him. Subaru was not strong enough to hurt him, so he refrained from reprimanding him as he waited for him to finally calm down. After a minute, Subaru finally stopped struggling, his punches and kicks gradually decreased in cadence and strength until he finally stopped completely.
"Let go of me... please..." Ricardo heard Subaru whisper. Ricardo slowly lowered Subaru's body, but stopped the movement of his arms shortly before Subaru's feet made contact with the ground.
"You ain't gonna go crazy like before, are ya?" Ricardo wanted to verify that Subaru really had regained his composure, even though that did seem to be the case.
"It won't happen anymore, so get the hell off me."
Ricardo then finally placed Subaru on the ground, who once there began to stretch his arms out listlessly. Apparently he had hurt his shoulder while violently waving his arms in the air. After a moment, Subaru dropped his arms and looked up, finally meeting Ricardo's eyes, who was still slightly disconcerted by everything that had transpired.
Due to Ricardo, Subaru had been able to break free from that storm of self-loathing and despair in which he had been entrapped; well, partly. Since he had managed to vent some of his anger, he had consequently calmed down and regained his composure. As usual, he had once again fallen under the overwhelming weight of his weaknesses, but now it was time to pick himself up and begin, once again, to think about how to resolve the new crisis.
Seeing that Subaru had finally calmed down, Ricardo was quick to start questioning him. "What happened, kid, were ya able to defeat Wrath? Where's Utada?"
"We defeated her, but we lost a lot of time. Then we stole this earth dragon, but since it couldn't carry us both, Utada told me to go ahead." Subaru replied curtly, opting to omit his encounter with Capella and Pandora.
"I see! In that case I'll wait fer him 'ere... And well, I'm glad ya're okay boy! Though, by the looks of it, ya took quite a bit of damage to your arms again." Ricardo said, looking at Subaru's burned arms; the mercenary knew it would be best not to bring up the freshly made wounds on his fists.
"It's nothing... Tell me something, Ricardo, do you know who Halibel is?" Hearing this query, Ricardo's bewilderment returned with a vengeance.
"What're ya sayin' kid, isn't it obvious? Or does this have somethin' to do with him actually workin' for ya all this time? Are ya gonna tell me he's not really the Halibel we think he's?"
"Hmm... Never mind, I just wanted to check one thing." Subaru replied, gesturing with his hands to drop the matter. "So you really have no idea who Anastasia is? Anastasia Hoshin?"
"I already told ya kid, I've no idea who that person might be, should I know, is it someone important?"
"Fuck... Yes, she's a very important person." Frustrated by Ricardo's discouraging response, Subaru bit his lower lip.
It was happening again, it was Crusch Karsten all over again. However, this time neither the White Whale nor the Archbishop of Gluttony could be the responsible; after all, they were both dead. Was there any other Sin Archbishop with the power to erase people's existence? I had forgotten to ask Pandora if there were more than six, or seven archbishops. If only I could ask her again...
No, that would not do, she could not be trusted. All this was happening because of her, she probably had something to do with it; yes, there was no doubt about it. Pandora had probably appeared before him with the answers to many of his questions as bait, so that he would not be able to prevent this catastrophe. Had the save point changed? He could check it... No, he had promised not to throw his life away, he would not die without having tried everything before; besides, he did not know when he would return, so it would be best to gather information beforehand.
"Ain't ya gonna tell me who this Anastasia is, boy?" Ricardo asked him demandingly. Subaru responded by shaking his head, much to the mercenary's discontent; after reacting so violently, Ricardo expected a proper explanation from Subaru.
"I'll explain later, for now tell me where Halibel is." Disappointed, Ricardo rubbed his jaw, which seemed to be sore, before pointing behind Subaru.
"I haven't had a chance to meet with him yet. So I guess he must be at the castle."
Subaru turned to look where Ricardo was pointing, and it was then that he finally realized how close he was to the castle; he was at the entrance to the citadel that preceded it. He had come so far without even noticing it, and even then he had failed. Frustrated, Subaru kicked the ground, raising a small cloud of dust into the air that was quickly blown away by the evening breeze. Dusk was approaching, and with it the end of that nightmarish day, and yet Subaru was convinced that this endless sunset would still not end for him.
"Thank you, Ricardo. See ya later." After thanking the demi-human, Subaru started to make his way towards Patrasche, but was then stopped in his tracks by Ricardo's voice.
"Wont'cha ask me?" Subaru could sense a dense resentment in Ricardo's words.
"Ask you? What?" Subaru questioned, confused, turning his head to look at the beast-man.
"What the heck happened after we parted ways." Ricardo said, moving his jaw back and forth with a little wince.
Subaru had been so focused on Anastasia's vanishing, that he had completely overlooked how injured Ricardo was. And while Ricardo could speak without a problem, it was evident that he had once again been forced to use his mana sonic wave technique, which caused extensive recoil damage to his snout.
"..." Silently, Subaru took a close look at Ricardo's body. The leather shoulder guard was gone, and his black pants were ripped. Before Subaru could say anything, Ricardo continued.
"We ran into an extremely powerful enemy shortly after we thought we'd eluded the enemies ya told us were in Farsale Square. We failed to conceal our presence and were forced to fight it. It was just as ya said, a monstrous six-armed witch cultist who wielded beastly strength… In the end I's able to stun him with one of my Resonance Waves and then beheaded him with my hatchet, but by then I'd already lost too many of my warriors. He massacred us... Only Maju, Kitzu and I survived. Had it not been for the help of those who fell in combat, we wouldn't have managed to defeat that thing and we woulda died too. And maybe we woulda had to keep fightin', if not for the mysterious disappearance of all the witch cultists all of a sudden."
"Shit... I'm sorry, Ricardo." Subaru replied, his tone of voice devoid of emotion.
Subaru already knew, Pandora had told him about that encounter of Ricardo and his people with the monstrous cultist, and had revealed to him the final result. Therefore he was not surprised by Ricardo's story. And now he also understood what she meant by his having ordered the archbishops to withdraw. Was that also due to her Authority? Nevertheless, Subaru's lack of emotion annoyed Ricardo.
"I noticed it at the mansion, not only by the way you spoke at times, but also by the way you treated yer colleagues, those who took ya off the streets... Are we just pawns to ya, boy?"
"..." Dismayed, Subaru averted his gaze from Ricardo's. The truth was, as much as he hated himself for thinking so, he had actually begun to think of the Fang of Iron as pawns he could sacrifice to reach his goal.
"I don' get what Ryuushika-sama and I saw in you, kid. But it seems we're wrong 'bout ya." Ricardo muttered, disappointed.
Disinterested in Ricardo's disappointment, Subaru only focused on the name mentioned by Ricardo. "Ryuushika-sama, who's that?"
"Now you're gonna pretend not to know who your benefactor is, the person who gave ya the chance of a lifetime? You said yer loyalty hadn't wavered, but that was a lie, wasn't it? Ya sure are a bastard, kid."
Benefactor? It made sense, since Anastasia had disappeared, that meant someone else had taken her place in the history of that world. But who was this Ryuushika? Subaru turned a deaf ear to Ricardo's dismissive words and sank into his musings. After a few seconds, Subaru finally remembered.
Finn, Finn Ryuushika, the vice president of the Hoshin Trading Company. He had rarely gotten to see him, since his office was located at the Hoshin Trading Company headquarters in Kyo, Kararagi. Subaru had only met him in Lugunica on the day he signed the business deal between the Reinvention Association and the Hoshin Company. Now that Anastasia had vanished from the face of that world, Finn once again owned the company.
"Look, Ricardo," Subaru said, after several seconds of silence. He simply did not have time to deal with him, so he would settle the matter quickly. "I'm really sorry. You really helped me when I was at my worst, and you don't know how much I appreciate it. But I'm afraid I'm too weak to care about you; you're just not my priority."
Subaru, ignoring Ricardo and the pain in his hands, got back on Patrasche. Before signaling his dragon to start moving, he took one last look at the mercenary. "I'm in a hurry, so... Goodbye."
"Wait, boy, come back here, we ain't done talkin'!" Despite Ricardo's demands, Subaru did not stop his dragon's strides.
Swiftly, the pair skirted the corpses that lay on the road and advanced through the citadel that would lead them to the castle. On the way, Subaru was able to ascertain that another of Pandora's answers had not turned out to be a lie; as Ricardo had said, there was no trace of the cultists, nor of the dangerous Archbishop that Subaru assumed to be Greed. And although Subaru was sure that its presence had nothing to do with the Witch Cult, neither was the icy beast in sight, the absence of snow being irrefutable proof of that.
There was no snow, but the icy wind of death and the pain of loss pervaded the atmosphere of the place. Powerful soldiers had been reduced to scraps of flesh, over whom many of their comrades wept with no concern for being judged for it. Men and women reduced to oceans of tears mourned the loss of comrades, friends, relatives, and even parts of their own bodies. Melancholy and despair hung in the air.
Still feeling slightly responsible, Subaru forced himself to ignore the tragedy unfolding around him. Eyes always straight ahead, not to the side. He had a priority, this was no time to fall apart emotionally. He still had time, he had to have it; it could not be too late, it could not.
His sanity hung by a thread and that thread was Anastasia's existence, so he had to believe he still had a chance to change her destiny, he had to. It was not too late, Anastasia's destiny was still within his grasp, yes it was. Without her nothing made sense, so Anastasia's destiny definitely had not strayed too far away. Without her, it would have all been for nothing, so it was impossible that she had vanished permanently. He would find a way to get Anastasia back, but first he needed to gather information.
Subaru made his way through the citadel, repeating in his mind that it was still not too late, until he finally reached the bridge that connected it to the castle. From there he had a good view of the garden. Subaru felt as if months had passed since his icy death; since then he had not had another chance to see that garden. He had finally returned...
"May I ask what it is you intend by coming so close to the castle? Entry is restricted to only knights and royal guards, or healing magic users willing to help in there. If you are neither, then I ask you to leave."
"May I know what you intend by coming so close to the castle? Entry is restricted to only royal knights, or healing magic users willing to help in there. If you are neither, then I would request you to leave." Just as at the entrance to the citadel they had tried to stop him, Subaru once again saw his path blocked by an armored guard.
However, the man's armor seemed to be of much higher quality than that of the clumsy soldier who stood in his way earlier. That man was part of some high rank of the kingdom's Knights, this was someone just below the Royal Guard, of that there was no doubt. "I'm sorry, but I've business at the castle, so I'd appreciate it if you could be so kind as to step aside."
"Have you not been listening to me? I told you that if you aren't a royal knight or a healer, then you cannot pass. Just by looking at you, I'm certain that you're not the former, so unless you prove to me that you're capable of using healing magic, I'm not going to let you through no matter how much you insist." The guard turned out to be extremely stubborn. What do I do? Subaru thought.
"I seriously have to get through, and you're not going to stop me from doing it." Subaru stated in a threatening tone. Without so much as a second thought, the guard wielded his sword.
"Are you not aware of the situation in the city? Right now the last thing we in the Royal Army want is to waste time engaging in combat with commoners, but I will find it necessary if you do not leave immediately." The soldier used his sword to block the passage to the bridge as he glared at Subaru. Perhaps if he used Shamak he could evade him, but he risked incurring the wrath of the guards in the area. Still, he had no choice.
Subaru was about to summon Kuro, but a familiar voice made him stop just before he did this. "He's with me, please let him pass!" It was a woman with a beautiful figure and orange hair, she wore leather clothes, used a cloth cloak and a pointed hat; she was the spitting image of a wizardess and her name was Maju.
"Oh, I see! Had you told me earlier I would've let you pass without a second thought, kid! Your companions have been a great help, you can tell they're members of the Fang of Iron!" The soldier exclaimed, sheathing his sword and changing his serious expression to a more relaxed one.
"I-I didn't know they were already here, sorry..." Subaru apologized, inwardly cursing Ricardo for not mentioning this to him; though it had also been his mistake for not asking him about the whereabouts of the remaining surviving mercenaries.
"Ya didn't know? Didn't ya meet the cap'n at the entrance to the citadel, Subaru-sama? He told us he'd wait for Utada and you there."
"I must have missed him in my haste." Subaru lied; he didn't have the time or inclination to argue about worthless matters.
"I understand..." Maju replied, puzzled. "And what happened to Utada? He's not...?"
"No, he's alive. We defeated the archbishop, but we lost a lot of time, so I took this earth dragon and went ahead." Subaru explained, repeating the same thing he said to Ricardo.
"I'm glad... Finally some good news." Maju murmured, mournfully. This deeply caught Subaru's attention, increasing the uneasiness he already felt.
"Why do you say that, did something happen?"
"Since ya didn't meet the captain you don't know, but the truth's that before we reached the castle we came across one of the enemies you warned us 'bout. We all strove to defeat it, and in the end we succeeded, but the price was exceedingly high; we lost many comrades. Only Kitzu, the cap'n and I survived. Luckily, soon after that, all the cultists vanished, so we didn't have to keep fightin'..." Maju reported, grief-stricken.
Subaru, who had been afraid of receiving another piece of bad news in addition to the ones he had already received, almost sighed with relief; but he refrained from doing so. He had to avoid a repeat of what had happened with Ricardo. "Shit... I'm really sorry..." Subaru replied, feigning empathy.
The mage shook her head. "No need, we knew what we're up against." She stated, forcing herself to show an undaunted countenance; but melancholy returned to her face in mere seconds. "And that's not all... Mimi-chan was found in a terrible state inside the castle. Right now Kitzu's tryin' to do somethin' to save her along with other healers, but the outlook is not very encouragin'-"
Maju abruptly stopped talking, realizing her mistake. Subaru's face paled even more than it already was, giving the feeling that he would vanish at any moment. "M-Mimi..." Subaru stammered.
"Excuse my tactlessness, I'd forgotten! You're very close to her and her brothers, aren't cha?" Subaru, who was in shock, was unable to utter a word. The mage looked at him apologetically. "I was about to go inform the cap'n 'bout it, but if you want I can take ya to where she's bein' treated."
"N-No need, just tell me where she is... please." Subaru forced himself to say, barely keeping his composure.
"S-She's in one of the tents that were set up ta tend to the injured."
"Thank you." And so, without giving the mercenary or the guard a chance to respond to his words, Subaru touched his bloodied hand to Patrasche's neck, and they both swiftly proceeded onto the bridge.
Having crossed the bridge and the tunnel in the wall surrounding the castle, which was wide enough to allow a glimpse of the garden from the citadel, Subaru finally reached his longed-for destination; however, the achievement completely lacked any sense of victory or euphoria. Subaru quickly surveyed the garden, suppressing from his gaze anything that was irrelevant to him.
When he finally found the medical tents, which consisted of medieval tarpaulins erected with several wooden pillars, which served as a treatment area for the wounded, Subaru indicated to Patrasche to take him there. They both made their way through the rubble, the corpses and the shocked warriors. The place was in chaos, people were constantly running from one side to the other.
But Subaru was oblivious to all the chaos around him. Riding Patrasche, he moved forward until he could see a figure he recognized. Subaru jumped off his earth dragon, ordered it to wait for him there and then ran to where he had seen the figure. Crouched beside the entrance of one of the tents, hugging his head and with his gaze fixed on the ground, was the demi-human healer, Kitzu.
"Kitzu..." Subaru muttered, loud enough for the healer to hear him. The fox demi-human released his grip on his head and looked up, meeting Subaru's eyes.
"Subaru-sama...?" Stunned, the healer muttered Subaru's name; it was as if his brain was trying to process what he was seeing. However, Subaru did not have the patience to wait for him to snap out of it.
"What happened to Mimi, Kitzu?" Subaru asked in a demanding manner. A grimace of pain formed on the demi-human's face, and Subaru had to restrain the urge to scream out of distraught.
"I-I tried, I really tried..." Replied Kitzu, as he looked down and hugged his own body.
"Where's she?" Subaru asked curtly, touching the healer's shoulder sympathetically; Subaru knew, Subaru knew how painful and frustrating it was to be unable to do something that needed to be done.
"She's..." Kitzu was about to say, when his gaze moved to the arm Subaru was touching him with. When he noticed the bad state his hand and the rest of his arm was in, Kitzu was startled. "Subaru-sama, what happened to your arms?! And your hands?!" Alarmed, the healer grabbed Subaru's right arm. The anguish and frustration he had been feeling had apparently been put aside as soon as he realized that his healing spells would be needed. "Allow me to heal ya."
"That's not necessary." Subaru assured, yanking his arm out of the healer's hands, much to the healer's bewilderment. "Take me to Mimi, Kitzu." Having lost what little patience he had left, Subaru demanded the healer guide him to where the little girl he had grown so fond of was.
"Alright, follow me..." Said then the healer with a hesitant tone, the look of distress returning to his face.
The demi-human moved to stand in front of the entrance to the tent, but did not take another step; he was wavering whether or not to enter. Subaru considered ordering him to move, but in the end refrained from doing so. How distressed was Kitzu? He was probably beginning to doubt his own ability to heal. Perhaps this was the first time someone close to him had died at his hands...
After several seconds, Kitzu breathed out heavily, and finally entered the tent, closely followed by Subaru, who stopped dead in his tracks as he was confronted with a devastating sight. Dozens of healers were desperately struggling to save the lives of knights, guards and nobles who had suffered all manner of fatal wounds. A young woman was weeping and wallowing, as she wiggled the bloody stump that was now her hand. A soldier was bidding farewell to his comrades, while a healer tried in vain to return his entrails to the inside of his body.
"..." Shocked, Subaru scanned the place dimly illuminated by the glow of a mana stone.
Ignoring the terrible scenes of death unfolding on every cot in the tent, Subaru searched for Mimi's signature orange hair. When he finally spotted it, Subaru found it necessary to stifle a sob, to no avail. Next to the cot on which the corpse of the little demi-human lay, stood Kitzu.
"As you can see, in this tent those most seriously injured are bein' cared for..." Kitzu informed, crestfallen. "I... I should still be helpin'. I'd gone out to get some air, but I must return... I can't stand idly by while people die around me, I've to prevent what happened to Mimi-chan from happenin' again." Noticing that the healer had partially regained his resolve, now that he had stepped back into the tent, Subaru nodded.
Kitzu started to walk away from Mimi avoiding looking at her, when he was stopped by Subaru's voice. "How long ago did she die? How long ago was she found?"
"Hmm? Um, sorry, what do ya mean?" Kitzu asked him, puzzled. It was not that he failed to understand Subaru's question, he just could not understand why he was asking him that at that precise moment.
"You just tell me, Kitzu. I need to know." Subaru demanded, frowning.
"I-I ain't entirely sure. Five minutes ago, maybe. To be honest, her death shook me significantly, so I forgot ta time it." Kitzu replied, apologetic. "And I couldn't say fer sure how long ago she was found either, but I'd ask someone to send for whoever found her. When I arrived, Mimi-chan was already in this stretcher, but someone should know who brought her in."
"Yes, please do. It's really important to me." Noticing the seriousness with which Subaru spoke, the healer nodded and walked away to where several healers were congregated. Subaru, satisfied with this, looked back at Mimi and approached her, taking the place left by Kitzu.
"Midge..." He mumbled, observing the little girl's pale face. Her little feline ears, as well as her little orange pigtails, were soaked with blood, and on her face was an agonizing grimace of pain. Her last moments of life had not been a peaceful one. "Shit... If only I hadn't stopped to talk to that damn witch."
Wrath began to flood every corner of his body. Frustrated, Subaru clenched his fists tightly, causing the wounds covering them to bleed once again. However, that anger was quickly quelled by the overwhelming sense of loss and pain. Subaru, unable to stand any longer, fell to his knees and laid his face on the small medical bed on which Mimi lay.
The little girl had her body covered by a blanket and only her face was visible, but a huge bloodstain that left little to the imagination was located over her thigh area; that was enough for Subaru to get a good idea of what had happened to her. He could try to find out more by removing the blanket, but Subaru simply did not feel capable of doing such a thing. An anguished moan then escaped his throat, and this soon turned into sobs that could be heard from anywhere in the tent.
This was hardly the first time he had seen Mimi die, and yet he could not stop crying. That little girl who with her smile and childlike attitude had saved him. Maybe Anastasia was his top priority, but Mimi was definitely among his priorities. And seeing her there, devoid of life and bathed in blood, Subaru could not help but feel that he had already failed. That despite all he had sacrificed, he had truly failed.
No... There still had to be something he could do, he needed to know how long ago she was found. If he could prevent Mimi's death, he could certainly find out what happened to Anastasia. Mimi was dead, there was truly nothing he could do for her in that loop anymore and he really did not want to risk the save point changing and the destiny of both Mimi and Anastasia slipping out of his grasp. The path of death was once again the only one open to him.
"It's a real shame what happened to the little girl. You two were very close, weren't ya, Su-san?" Subaru stood up, startled, and looked behind him. There, leaning against one of the wooden pillars that held up the tarpaulin that made up the tent's structure, was Halibel with his golden kiseru between his teeth.
Subaru rubbed his face with his arm full of burns, thus awkwardly wiping away the tears that now soaked his face. "It's good to see ya again, Hal-san."
"Likewise, Su-san. For a moment I began to worry 'bout ya." Answered the beast-man with a sincere smile on his snout. "Hey, don't ya think you'd have someone use healin' magic on yer arms? They look pretty bad."
"Later, Hal-san, later... For now I need you to answer me this; you found Mimi, didn't you? That's why you're here."
"Well, I came because I saw ya walkin' in here from one of the other tents. But you're right, one of the healers I entrusted little Mimi to told me that ya were lookin' for me."
"So tell me, Hal-san, how long ago did you find her? What condition was she in?"
"Hmm..." Halibel brought his hand to his chin and began stroking his beard as he thought. "I found her when I was in search of the lady, 'bout forty minutes ago. When I did, she was unconscious. Her condition was terrible, both her legs were missin' from mid-thigh down and she'd lost a lotta blood."
"I see. Thank you, Hal-san." Subaru expressed his thanks, approaching his companion with a countenance devoid of any emotion.
"I found the lady, n' luckily she isn't hurt... At least not physically. Don'tcha want me to tell ya about it?" Questioned Halibel to Subaru, puzzled by his behavior.
"Just tell me one thing, which lady are you talking about?" Subaru asked, dryly.
Halibel looked at him in confusion. "Which lady am I talkin' about, ya say? Why, the one you told me to save. Emilia-sama, the Royal Selection candidate." Halibel stated, as if it were a matter of course. Hearing that answer, Subaru shook his head while letting out a crazed laugh.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha... Hahahahahahaha... We'll talk about that later." Subaru said, ceasing to laugh abruptly. Subaru then took a glance at his surroundings and after a moment his gaze returned to settle on Halibel. "Hal-san, would you lend me one of your kunai" Subaru suddenly asked.
"Whatcha want it for?" The warrior questioned him, his bewilderment increasing.
"It doesn't matter, you just give it to me." Subaru reached out his arm towards Halibel vehemently. Not quite sure about it, Halibel obeyed Subaru's command.
"There's a lot of things I didn't find out... I wasted too much time... I wasted too much, actually... So I guess I'll have to try again." Subaru declared calmly.
Perplexed by Subaru's abnormal calmness, especially considering how distressed he was a moment ago, Halibel looked at him in confusion. "What're ya talkin' about, Su-san?"
"Once again, death's the only path available to me." And with those words, Subaru abruptly slit his throat, before Halibel's stunned gaze.
"Su-san! What the heck did ya do?! Su-san!" Subaru's gaze quickly darkened, as his descent to death was accompanied by Halibel's desperate screams and the voices of the healers who vainly tried to thwart his death.
Zero Days since the Last Death (Eighteen Deaths)
Once again, after months of striving to fulfill Anastasia's promise, death was the only remaining path left to him. Without hesitation, he had ended his own life; after all, what was the use of a world in which the person to whom he promised to value his own life did not exist? What was the use of a world in which he would never again hear the laughter of the little girl who brightened his days and protected him as his bodyguard?
Subaru had preferred to start over, Subaru had chosen to return to that save point located prior to the fight against Sirius. Who cared about discarding everything he had progressed since then? He would find a way to get to the castle without wasting time confronting Sirius. He would go after Patrasche and escape by eluding Sirius, Capella and Pandora. He would deal with them after he had prevented Mimi's death and Anastasia's vanishing, events that were undoubtedly linked.
The abyss swallowed him whole, death welcomed him with open arms. And then the abyss spat him out again. When he returned, Subaru was ravaged by terrible nausea and began to cough violently; his body instinctively forced air into his lungs, which only seconds ago had been flooded with blood. He had prepared himself to wake up on the floor feeling an excruciating headache, but his expectations had been betrayed. He felt extremely disoriented. Where was he?
Subaru opened his eyes and had to hold on tightly to what was closest to him. He had lost his balance and almost fell to the ground. The familiar shriek of a beast reached Subaru's ears, who quickly straightened up. He then stumbled upon the back of Patrasche's head. It was not long before he noticed that he was on the main avenue of the capital, which, of course, was littered with corpses.
"At last we meet... It seems to me that the Ordeal I subjected you to is finally starting to bear fruit." Subaru let out a bellow of rage, frustration and despair.
After quite some time, Subaru killed himself again. It couldn't be otherwise, Mimi died, and the whereabouts of Anastasia and Julius are unknown. As I mentioned in the previous chapter, Pandora doesn't need to use her authority to make Subaru accept her offer, her "Ordeal" had already reached its final stage and Subaru realized he was being cornered too late (just as JiroAwesome mentioned, Subaru's screwed). And as icing on the cake, indeed, the save point changed again. What will Subaru be able to do now? Will he have time to prevent the catastrophe?
Answers to this will come in the next chapter. And speaking of answers; I saw a comment wondering why the archbishops were hunting Subaru and destroying/massacring the city, and I want to clarify just in case it was not well understood, but this was already answered. It's because of Pandora's Ordeal, that's why Subaru shot her near the end of the previous chapter, she was implying to him that everything the archbishops had done had been to traumatize/mentally screw him over and thus make him feel even more cornered, which would make him accept her offer more easily.
And as for other questions he could've asked Pandora... Subaru will have more opportunity to ask them. At the time he met Pandora, a Witch of Sin, the matter Subaru most felt the need to ask about was Return by Death and why he had been summoned to that world; his train of thought was far from being focused on what was to come, after all. Besides, if I'd had Subaru ask everything he could have asked, the chapter would have been too long, so there's that too... Anyway, as always, thanks for your support! Till next week.