Dein Weg ist Mein Weg
Chapter XIX
The Crash
"Hey, why don't I ever get to sit in the front?!"
"It's because you're tiny. Kindergarteners like you belong in the back."
"I'M NOT A KINDERGARTENER! I'M IN THE FOURTH GRADE!" she yelled back. "And it's not fair that you always get to sit in the front just 'cause you're in high school!"
"Irisa, be nice to your sister. Azusa, you get to sit in the front some other time," their mother interjected with a tired voice. "Now can we please get going? Your father's waiting for us."
With this outside interference backing her up, Irisa smirked at her sister, and Azusa stuck her tongue out at her in response. But after a second, she did as she had been told and grumpily walked around the car to sit behind mom. "Fine," she grumbled. "I didn't want to sit in the front anyways."
Once she had put on her seatbelt, she crossed her arms and sulked as they drove away from the harbor. So what if Irisa was in high school and lived on a boat? Boats were stupid. Azusa always got to sit in the front when she wasn't around, so it wasn't fair that Irisa automatically got to sit in the front just because she was back home. Stupid Irisa. Azusa hated when she was around.
In the front, Mom was asking Irisa question after question, giving her all the attention she could ever want. Asking her about the results of her tests and her grades, which were of course perfect, what she wanted to eat for dinner, and how everything was with her friends. But Azusa didn't want to listen. She didn't care what her idiot sister was doing. She just kept on sulking, and played a game on her phone. It wasn't like either of them bothered talking to her. Why didn't Mom ask her about how she was doing in school? Or how things were with her friends? Or what she wanted for dinner? It wasn't fair, and it was all stupid Irisa's fault. She glanced out the window, and the idea that was planted in her mind by what she saw expelled all bitterness. She reached up and almost pressed her face against the glass, calling out in excitement to her mom.
"Mom! Mom! Can we stop for ice cream?!"
"No, Azusa. We're already late," Mom answered in a disinterested voice.
"But Moooom…"
"No 'but's," she interrupted and sighed. "Why can't you be like your sister?"
Azusa sat back down and sulked again. It wasn't fair.
"Fine!" She was just going to stay quiet and not ask for anything ever again. Just like Irisa. Stupid, perfect Irisa. She was always doing everything right, always getting perfect grades, always being mom and dad's perfect little girl who never did anything wrong, always getting all of mom and dad's attention. It wasn't fair.
Meanwhile, the only thing Azusa ever got to hear was how perfect Irisa was, and how everyone hoped she would grow up to be just as perfect as Irisa, and that she should act more mature, just like Irisa. It wasn't fair.
Azusa hated it all, and she hated her stupid sister for always being so perfect. She wished Irisa would just stop existing. If she just wasn't around, everything would be much better. Mom and Dad would pay attention to Azusa and care about her, instead of stupid Irisa. Not a single thing about it was fai-
BAM!
"It's not fair…" Azusa muttered to herself as she was lying in her bed, staring up at the ceiling in her dimly lit room. "It's not fair at all…"
It had been five years since the accident. Five years since Azusa got her wish granted. It wasn't fair. If she had known that a higher power was listening, she would have just kept her mouth shut. But no, instead she wished something stupid she didn't mean, and the universe listened with naive sincerity, granting her wish without delay. All it had taken was a second. One second Irisa was there, the next she wasn't. Just like Azusa wanted… A single moment, and now her sister wasn't around anymore.
It wasn't fair. Even with Irisa gone, she hadn't been any happier. The void Irisa left behind made it impossible for things to go back to normal. Mom and dad had finally paid attention to her, but she could tell that they didn't think it was fair either. Their precious perfect daughter had been taken from them, and they were left with Azusa. Stupid Azusa with her failing grades and her childish behavior.
It wasn't fair that everyone looked at her with pity, as if wanting to say that it was a shame that she wasn't as smart and accomplished as her perfect sister. In the end she got enough of it. She got sick and tired of the looks and the condolences and the concern. That's when she decided. If Irisa wasn't there to fill the void, she would do it herself. She had stopped acting like a child. She had stopped screwing around in class. She had put every fibre of her being into her studies. She had pushed herself to every extreme that was possible, all so that her parents could have something that at least resembled Irisa back. If the world wanted an Irisa more than an Azusa, then that's what Azusa would give it.
She rolled over to her side, sighing as she glanced at her alarm clock. School didn't start for at least another two hours.
It wasn't fair that the universe had taken Irisa from her. It wasn't fair that Azusa, 'the worthless sister,' was the one who was left behind. It wasn't fair how Mom and Dad still hadn't paid her any attention. It wasn't fair that she had to push herself the way she did, just to fill the void her sister had left behind. It wasn't fair that Irisa got to sit in the front. It wasn't fair that Azusa hadn't been sitting there. It wasn't fair that it was all Azusa's fault. It wasn't fair that she had gotten her wish granted. It wasn't fair that she had to lie to Maho. It wasn't fair that Maho was lying to her.
None of it was fair. Not a single thing in the universe was fair, and the more she thought about it, the more the anger within her simmered and boiled.
She was angry at Irisa for always being so perfect, and she was angry at her for being gone, dumping everything on Azusa.
She was angry at her parents for not paying attention to her, and she was angry at them for only wanting her to be another Irisa instead of herself.
She was angry at the President for using her, and she was angry at her for forcing her to lie.
She was angry at Miho and Erika for insulting Maho, and she was angry at them for being smug and superior.
She was angry at Maho for ignoring her, and she was angry at her for lying about Miho being dead.
She was angry at the universe for taking Irisa away from her, and she was angry that it didn't even care.
But most of all, she was angry at herself. She was angry at herself for having wished Irisa out of existence. She was angry at herself for not standing up for herself. She was angry at herself for only trying to be like Irisa. She was angry at herself for running during the St. Gloriana-match. She was angry at herself for allowing herself to be told to lie by the President. She was angry at herself for being angry.
She was just angry, and she hated it.
She sat up on the bed, and sighed, taking deep breaths to calm herself. With each breath, she slowly pushed the anger further and further back into the depths of her mind, hiding it away where it wouldn't bother her.
After she was satisfied with how deep she had buried her anger, Azusa sighed one final time and got up, heading to the bathroom. She showered and dried herself off, before changing into her uniform. The white shirt and green skirt were hanging neatly on the door of her closet, right where she always hung it. Having changed, she took a look in the mirror to see that everything was in its place. She was satisfied with the look of her uniform, but her hair was a far different story. She sighed and retrieved brush and comb, struggling for a few minutes in front of the mirror to get it right. Her short hair wasn't much of a challenge to keep after, but getting it to look right was a bit different.
When she was finally satisfied, she returned the brush and comb to their place in the bathroom, and packed her bag. Every notebook and pen in its proper place. She clasped the bag shut, and walked over to the mirror in the hall again. Everything was like it always was and always should be. Staring back at her in the mirror was the perfect image of Irisa. She sighed, steeled herself, and walked out her door.
"Good Morning, Azusa!" Aya called out, waving from where she had just walked out from her own door further down the corridor. "You're as punctual as ever!"
"Good morning, Aya," Azusa answered with a smile, and took a few quick steps over to her friend. "Ready for school?"
"...and that's final!"
"But Commander…" some of the crews started to protest, but Maho wouldn't hear a word of it.
"No 'but's. I want those abominable paintjobs gone. Or did the last match not provide ample enough evidence for why tanks aren't painted in the gaudiest, most attention-grabbing ways known to man?" Maho threw a pointed glance towards the student council and their still-golden 38(t).
A reluctant grumble made its way through the team, and the crews returned to their tanks to begin the arduous task of repainting them. No one could argue with the assessment that the extravagant and, in Maho's opinion, frankly ugly paint schemes had been more of a hindrance than a help in their battle with St. Gloriana, but that didn't mean that the team was happy about the dull greys and greens their tanks were to be repainted in. Ultimately a compromise was reached, where the crews would at least be allowed to paint a team insignia on their respective tank. Soon, very much against Maho's preferences, the team's tanks had taken on a new set of de facto callsigns, based on the cartoon animals the tanks now sported. All except for the Panzer IV.
"But we need to fit in with the rest of the team, Maho…" Saori pleaded, as she for the third day in a row begged Maho to be allowed to paint an anglerfish onto the turret of the German tank.
"No," Maho answered sharply. She might not like the ridiculous markings on the other tanks. She could even begrudgingly accept the gaudy internal decorations, pillows and all. But if she was going to command the team, and sit in the commander's seat of a tank again, she sure as hell wasn't going to do it in one painted up to look like a clown car. "You'll be painting on that tank over my dead body."
"Team B, tighten formation. You're straying far too much to the right," Maho noted over the radio.
"Gotcha!" Teako called back over the crackling airwaves, and the Type 89 moved closer to its intended position. It still wasn't where it should, but it was close enough that Maho only sighed and let it slide.
"All tanks, halt on position and fire salvo. Cycle targets," she continued, calling to the entire team this time. Each tank stopped in place, some more gracefully than others, and began firing down the target range. As opposed to their performance a few weeks ago during the match against St. Gloriana, the entire team proved to have become somewhat capable of aiming and firing in rapid succession, which while not a life-saver for their upcoming match, at least would help them look competent and not a complete embarrassment on the field.
"Hippo team has really started to get the hang of their StuG, don't you think?" Ami asked and lowered her binoculars. "I make 4 out of 5 targets within a minute."
Maho sighed and put down the handset of the radio beside her, lifting her own binoculars to take a look. "Looks that way. Now that they're not announcing their presence with those stupid flags anymore, Team C might actually be of some use." Now that Ami had also taken a liking to the unofficial callsigns, Maho was alone in still referring to the team's tanks by letters.
"Oh, don't be like that," Ami said with cheering tones. "They took out one of St. Gloriana's Matildas, didn't they?"
"They did," Maho answered dryly. "They also then tried to hide five-meter high flags behind a two meter high fence, and got taken out as a reward. If this was Kuromorimine, I'd-"
"But it's not," Ami noted. "We're not at Kuromorimine anymore, and it's just a sport. Let them have some fun, why don't you? It's not like there are any real stakes to winning or losing."
Oh, you don't know the half of it… Maho thought. "Maybe you're right," she said on a low tone and shrugged. She picked up the handset again, and switched one of the dials. "Team D, you're going to need closer grouping of those shots. The 75mm might not need to be very precise, but if you're going to take out anything more than a piece of cardboard, you'll need to aim the 37mm better."
"Copy that, Commander," Aya answered.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Maho?" Ami asked. "I mean, wouldn't it be better if you were actually down there with the rest of them, instead of up here with me?"
"No. The less I have to be in a tank, the better… Besides, I'm not the one who needs to train, they are. And for that it doesn't matter if I'm down in the commander's seat or up here."
"If you say so…"
"Maho?" Saori asked as the final class of the day finished.
"What?" She sighed in reply.
"Well, uhm, I just wanted to… I mean…"
"What Saori's trying to say is that we were wondering if you were free this afternoon?" Hana cut in.
"And what if I am?" Maho asked and crossed her arms, looking her classmates up and down in an attempt to figure out where they were trying to take the conversation.
"Well, Yukari said she had something she wanted to show us, and that we should bring you along if possible," Saori answered.
"Yes, apparently it was quite urgent," Hana complemented.
Maho raised an eyebrow. "Any idea what it is she wants to show us?" I bet it's just a new model Tiger or something like that…
"No, but she was quite clear that it had something to do with Sensha-Do and the match this weekend." Saori tugged lightly on Maho's shoulder. "Come on, it's been ages since we hung out!"
Maho sighed. "You're not leaving me alone until I agree, are you?" She shook her head and smiled in response. "Fine," Maho sighed and shook free from Saori's clinging. "Lead the way."
"Oh, hello girls!" Yukari's mother greeted them as they entered the small salon.
"Good afternoon, Missus Akiyama!" Saori and Hana replied. Mako, who they had collected from her classroom as they left school, mostly nodded and groaned in reply to the greeting.
"And I see you've brought a friend." The older woman gave Maho a quick glance, before a look of recognition appeared in her eye. "Ah, yes, miss Nishi… uhm… Nishiru?
"Nishizumi, ma'am," Maho corrected and bowed. "Pardon the intrusion."
"Oh, don't worry about it." Yukari's mother gestured towards the stairs. "Yukari's upstairs, so no need to stand on ceremony."
Saori, Hana and Mako made their way towards and up the stairs, and Maho followed shortly behind, bowing one more time towards Yukari's mother just to be polite, and steeled herself before entering Yukari's room. The memories of seeing all that tank paraphernalia and the apparent idol-worship of herself still held a place in her mind.
"Oh, Maho!" Yukari said with excitement as she entered. "I'm so glad you could make it."
The first thing that struck Maho was how different the room looked from when last she had been here. All the posters and paintings had been covered with curtains or bedsheets, and the many model tanks had also been covered. The bizarre collection of shapeless white forms almost gave the room a strangely haunted feel.
"I see you've redecorated," Maho said dryly.
"Oh, uh, yeah. I just thought… you know… Since you didn't exactly seem very comfortable last time you were here, I just thought that maybe I could…"
"It's fine. I would have managed," Maho interrupted. It wasn't until now that she noticed that Yukari was dressed neither in casual clothing or their school uniform, but in the blue and red uniform of Sunkus. "So, what is it you wanted to show us?"
"Oh, yes!" Yukari dug around for a moment in her backpack, and fished out a camera which she hooked up to the small TV in her room. "Now, I haven't had time to edit this, so it's all just raw footage, but hopefully it'll be of some use to you, Commander!"
What appeared on the screen was a video recording, which Yukari narrated over. It showed her sneaking aboard one of Sunkus' supply ships, and disembarking on the George Washington, Saunders' school carrier.
Once there she switched into a Saunders uniform she had somehow managed to procure, and then walked about the massive school. Maho could already see where this was going.
"Not very much happens here, so I'll just skip to the interesting part." Yukai reached over to the camera and pressed a button, and the screen began fast-forwarding through Yukari's excursion. "Right! Here we go!" she said triumphantly, and let the video play again. She was now filming from some sort of large meeting hall, with a few dozen girls sitting in neat rows before a small raised dais, up on which marched a cheerful girl with long blonde hair.
"Everyone!" the girl called out. "It's time for the first match of the championship!" She clapped her hands together and made a quick cheerful hop. "This year is sure to be ours!" She threw a fist in the air, and the crowd cheered.
"As for the tanks we'll be using in the first match, Here's what we've decided; Naomi will be manning the Los Angeles like usual," A picture of a Firefly appeared on the screen behind the girl. "I'll of course be leading from the San Fransisco," An M4A6 appeared beside the Firefly. "And we'll also be fielding the New Orleans," an M4A1(76)W joined her sisters on screen, "and 6 of our 75mm M4's. Edamura, Sasaki, Juba, Himi, Serizawa, and Kozue, you'll command one each." A few scattered small cheers could be heard around the hall, presumably from the girls that had just been named. "And bringing up the rear we'll have our newcomer. You're going to need to fight sooner or later, so it might as well be sooner!" The blond girl threw a thumbs up towards a girl in the crowd that they couldn't see from where Yukari was filming, and a general cheer of excitement and encouragement could be heard. It seemed whoever this newcomer was they were well-liked.
"They're not holding back at all…" Yukari whispered into the camera's microphone.
"So, any questions?!"
"Oh, uhm, yeah!" Yukari said and stood up. "What will our formation be?"
"Good question there, Hon'! Seeing as we can't form full tank platoon pairs, we'll have three tanks in one of the platoons, and they'll form their own company!"
"A-and what defenses will be given to the flag tank?"
"Nada!" the girl answered with a smug grin, and waved her finger before her.
"But," the Yukari on screen began to push back.
No, don't tell me… Maho thought. Don't tell me you started to make suggestions to improve their strategy… But of course that was exactly what Yukari did.
"I'm pretty sure the enemy has a StuG III."
"It'll be fine," the girl answered in a dismissive tone and put her hands on her hips. "We can wipe them all out with one tank either way." A surging wave of excitement and awe flowed across the room at this cocky statement, which Maho silently didn't doubt for a second.
"Hang on…" A girl with short grey hair that was leaning against the wall beside the dais said, giving Yukari a sharp look. "I haven't seen you around here before…"
"Uhm… uh…" Yukari stammered. Around her murmur could be heard intensifying as more and more girls realized that Yukari had never shown her face at Saunders before. Let alone in the briefing hall of the Sensha-Do team.
"Class and grade," a short girl with brown pigtails demanded.
"Uhmm… uh… uh..." Even though Maho couldn't see Yukari's face, it was obvious she was starting to panic. "6th Armored Division, Sergeant 3rd class, Oddball!"
The blonde commander broke out laughing at this, while the short pig-tailed girl pointed an accusatory finger towards Yukari. "She's an impostor! Get her!"
Despite her panic, Yukari seemed surprisingly quick on her feet, as she quickly jumped out of the mass of girls and sprinted out through the corridors of the George Washington.
"You… uhm… you don't need to see this next part…" a blushing Yukari said as she turned off the recording.
"What the hell was that?" Maho asked, and raised her eyebrow.
"It's… It was an infiltration…" Yukari answered, slightly flustered.
"I can see that," Maho replied. Infiltrations were a pretty common way of gathering intelligence on enemy teams in Sensha-Do, but they were usually handled with more tact than this. There was nothing in the rules of the sport that forbid it, and in a way it was encouraged, but as a student of Kuromorimine, Maho held a disdain towards the practice. Needing to know what you were facing meant there was something you didn't want to face. Something you couldn't handle. An attitude kuromorimine looked down upon to a harsh degree. The punishment for being caught infiltrating other schools was severe, even more so than for spies who dared infiltrate the german-styled school itself. "And what gave you the idea to even attempt it?"
"I… I just thought that… You said you couldn't plan for the match unless you knew what variants they were fielding, and what strategy they would use, so I thought…"
"You thought wrong. All this told us is that they're using Shermans, something we already knew, and that you're a lousy spy. Do you even realize the trouble you would have gotten us into if you had gotten caught?"
"Oh… I… I didn't think about that…" Yukari said and looked down. "I just… I just wanted to help…"
"Well consider yourself lucky you didn't get caught. At least this way you didn't bring us any new problems along with the ones we already have. If that was all you had, then bye." Maho didn't even wait for a reply before she turned and walked out the door.
A moment of silence fell over the room, only broken by Mako's occasional snoring from underneath Yukari's table.
"Uhm… Yukari…" Saori asked after a while.
"Y-yeah?" Yukari asked and looked up from the floor.
"How did you manage to get away?"
"Oh…" Yukari said, a gleam of excitement entering her eye again. "Well, the first thing I had to do was get those girls off my tail, so I…"
"Are you all done making the final checks on the tanks?" Maho called out to the rest of the team, as she continued looking over the tracks of the Panzer IV with a trained eye.
"Yeah!" the freshmen cheered from beside the M3 Lee.
"We're ready!" Erwin replied with her usual smug grin from the StuG.
"We're all ready too!" Noriko answered, and got up from where she had been looking at the Type 89's drive wheel.
"The 38(t) is all done," Yuzu said, finishing off the roll-call.
Judgement day was here. Ooarai's first match in the National championship. The weather was clear, the tanks were serviced and ready, and the team was all there. It should have been perfect conditions. Except of course for one small detail. They were facing Saunders.
"Alright, then there's nothing left to do but wait until the match starts." Maho announced to the team, while still making sure to inspect every link of the Panzer's treads. The rest of the team however took this as ample opportunity to laze about, chatting amongst themselves in excitement for the match.
"Hey, Yuuki?" Maho heard Azusa ask from the M3 Lee, and looking over the hood of the Panzer IV she could see the younger girl leaning into the hatch of the tank. "Where's the ammo for the 75mm gun?"
"Oh, right!" Yuuki laughed and put a hand against her forehead. "I completely forgot to put them in."
"But that's the most important thing!" Aya cried out.
"Sorry…" Yuuki replied with a sheepish smile, and began the procedure of loading the heavy shells into the tank.
"I knew we were facing some absolute beginners, but this is just embarrassing," a voice said, and Maho turned around to face it. A few meters away stood a short girl with brown pigtails, wearing a grey blazer, white shirt, and red skirt, the uniform of Saunders. Her grin and pointing finger made clear what her comment had already made evident; she was there to ridicule them.
Maho was about to answer this insult, but another voice joined in before she had time.
"Now, now," a blonde girl with long hair and a very friendly smile, also wearing Saunders' uniform, said as she approached from the woods that separated Ooarai and Saunders' preparatory areas. Walking slightly behind her was a tall girl with short grey hair and a disinterested look. "Play nice, Alysa. We're here to have fun, aren't we?" Once she reached the shorter girl, she put a hand on the girl's shoulder.
Much in the same way one considers a target range or a game of whack-a-mole fun I imagine, Maho thought.
"Oh, uh, yes. O-of course, commander," the pig-tailed girl, whose name was apparently Alysa, answered in deferential tones. She still stood tall and kept her grin, but it was obvious that she had no intention of going against her commander's orders.
"Hey, Angie!" the blonde commander called and waved towards Ooarai's pipsqueak of a president, walking closer while keeping her friendly expression.
"Hiya, Kay!" the president answered back with the same kind of sing-song:y friendliness she usually tried to utilize towards Maho, but here it seemed to have a far greater effect. "Whatcha doing here?!"
"Oh, we wanted to invite you all for a meal!" Saunders' commander replied, and shook the president's hand. "You can't fight on an empty stomach after all, now can you?! Hey, wait a minute..." She threw a surprised glance over the president's shoulder. Or rather over her head, seeing as the blonde stood half a foot taller than the pipsqueak before her. "Hey, Sergeant Oddball!" she exclaimed.
"Oh no," Yukari yipped and froze in place. "She found me!"
"I wonder if she's mad…" Saori asked out loud as the blonde came walking over, which most likely didn't help to calm Yukari down.
"You doing ok there, Sergeant?" the Saunders girl asked once she reached Yukari, obviously concerned by her frightened expression.
"Huh? Oh… Ye-yeah…" Yukari answered and straightened up a bit. "I'm… I'm fine…"
"Great to hear it, Sergeant!" the girl replied. "Feel free to come by and play again anytime you want! We don't bite! See-ya!" She gave Yukari a quick and sloppy salute, leaving a surprised and somewhat stunned Yukari behind, before continuing her walk through Ooarai's ranks, now coming over to Maho.
"Hmm… Short brown hair, narrow and bitter eyes, a deadpan, no-nonsense expression... I guess that makes you Kelly!" she said with a laugh, and threw out a hand before her in greeting. "Nice to meet ya! I'm Kay, Commander of Saunders!"
"I gathered as much…" Maho replied in her dour tone, and shook Kay's hand. "I'm…" she didn't get any further before the girl interrupted her
"Maho Nishizumi! It's really cool to finally get to meet you! I can't believe I'll actually be facing a Nishizumi!"
"Just Maho's fine," she replied coldly, and let go of Kay's hand.
"Alright, Maho! I like ya already!" Kay said and pat Maho on the back a few times. "So, what do ya say Commander?! Wanna grab a bite before the match?!"
"Of course we'll join you!" the president answered from where she had walked up beside the two, robbing Maho of even the illusion of a choice. "Say, do you have any dried sweet potatoes?"
She began bantering with Kay as the two of them walked away towards the trees and Saunders' supply central beyond, the two other Saunders students following after..
Maho glanced around at the rest of the team for a moment. Most of them looked like coiled springs, just waiting anxiously for Maho to give her consent.
Maho shrugged and sighed. "Alright ladies, it seems we're getting served a second breakfast," she said and gave a vague nod of approval, allowing the team to follow the president and student council, who had already walked off with Kay. After a moment she followed after, with the rest of the Panzer IV's crew beside her.
At least we won't be hungry when we lose, she thought...
Next time on Dein Weg ist Mein Weg: The 63rd National Sensha-do championship begins, and Maho takes command for real, for the first time since the disastrous match against Pravda.
Author's Notes:
Another week, another chapter. This week actually posed an interesting challenge since I didn't actually know entirely what I wanted it to consist of. All I knew was that we needed to see some of the lead-up to the Saunders match, but that didn't feel quite enough, so considering last week focused almost exclusively on Azusa, I decided that this was a good time to explore her and her relationship with her sister Irisa a bit. I actually let myself take quite a bit of inspiration from an anime I watched while growing up, which would be interesting to see if anyone manages to catch.
The response to last week's chapter was incredible as always, and I know I say this every week, but I can't thank you guys enough for the support.
To Arpeggio (can I call you Arpeggio?) I want to say first of all, excellent analysis of the dynamic between Maho, Miho, Azusa, and her at the time unnamed sister. You put to word exactly how I imagined it. Secondly, on the point of Erika being a masochist, of course everyone is allowed to make their own interpretation, but that isn't how I imagine it. I based Erika and Miho's interactions on the idea of a toxic relationship. The right attention from the wrong person at the worst time can easily fool someone into thinking they're happy, and that is exactly what has happened to Erika. After the person she respected and adored the most in the world turned out to be a fraud (in her mind) simply the barest amount of attention from Miho made her quite easy to exploit. The correct mixture of affection and abuse crates a very alluring feeling of dependency after all.
On a more happy note than that, this week marks 15 straight weeks of updates, something I never thought possible, but I absolutely love the little ritual I have of uploading every Tuesday. On that note however; I seem to have caught a small cold, and with Christmas and New Years, as well as some stuff in my personal life, I'm not sure I'll have the time to write chapter 20 in time for next Tuesday. It's still my ambition to do so, but if we reach 2021 and there hasn't been a new chapter, that would be why.
As always I would love to hear your thoughts, so leave a review to let me know!
Happy Holidays, and if I don't see you 'til then, Happy New Years as well!
/Rhino