I Live For You

The rain came down harder, ice-cold drops splashing against the cobblestones and asphalt. The smell of petrichor and ozone fills the air as thunder rumbles in the distance. People hurry to their cars or under the stadium awning to avoid getting soaked, none paying attention to the two standing unmoving under the shower.

Ame took a moment to compose herself. The drink was sticky in her hand so she dropped the bottle and pulled a pack of tissues from her bag to wipe her fingers clean. All the while Subaru watched, unsure what to do or say. He had never seen Ame this angry before. He tried to formulate an explanation, a defence. He wouldn't back down from Ema, he wasn't sorry about telling her how he felt. He loved her after all, didn't that matter? So what if she was his step-sister? He had never asked her to be! There was no blood between them anyway, so what did it matter if he wanted her?

As these thoughts ran through his mind, Ame crumpled up the tissue and tucked it into her bag, pulling out a small, retractable umbrella instead. It snapped open with a sound that made Subaru flinch and she held it over her head.

"So..." Ame spoke, her voice unsettlingly mild. "You told her."

"I won't apologise for that," Subaru replied.

Ame laughed. "Oh I'm not asking you to," she shook her head and turned away from him. Even with the humidity and rain, her hair and dress still fluttered prettily. She went on in that same voice, "Instead, let me ask you this: why?"

Subaru's eyes narrowed. "Why what?" He asked.

"Why do you love my sister? Oh I know she's nice," she interrupted, "she's pretty and sweet, and she is the kindest, most forgiving person I know, but those are surface traits. I'm sure you know lots of attractive and nice girls already, so why Ema?"

Subaru opened his mouth to respond but wasn't sure what to say. There were too many ways to respond and too many landmines. "I-"

A sigh. "Fine, let me make this easier for you. What do you actually know about Ema?" Ame turned a little so he could see the side of her face and the expression of cold, knowing contempt on her face. "What's her favourite colour Subaru? What's her favourite food? What are her hobbies? What do you know about Ema?" She shook her head with a derisive laugh. "Have you actually had a conversation with her? Do you know anything about my sister that doesn't fit your own fantasies?"

The words were like sharp knives cutting their truth into his chest. Subaru clenched his fists and raised his voice to counter them. "I want to know more about her! I love Ema-chan and I want to make her happy! Why are you so against that?"

"Because she doesn't want you!" Ame yelled back. Her usual expression of impassiveness had twisted into something furious and wild. Flames raged in her eyes and her hair had begun to slip out of its braid. "My sister came here thinking she was getting a family! She was so fucking happy when our father got married! And now you all want to take that away from her!"

Ame was panting hard by the end and Subaru was frozen in shock. He had no idea what to say. "Ame-chan..."

"I love my sister more than anything in this life," her next words were cold, almost robotic. "I would do anything for her. I choose her happiness over mine every time. She is the best thing in my life and I'll be damned if I let you, or anyone ruin anything!"

Her hand flashed out and would have definitely connected with his face. Luckily years of playing basketball had honed his reflexes and he managed to catch her wrist. "Ame-chan, please! Listen to yourself! This isn't healthy!" He pleaded, more than a little freaked out but also genuinely concerned.

Ame shook her head, her eyes still wide and wild. "She's the only real family I have," she said to him. "I have to keep her safe at any cost."

And then she opened her mouth to let out a scream

"...I can't..."

Subaru opened his eyes and stared down at Ame. She was staring at his chest with unseeing eyes, tears clouding her vision and clumping her lashes together.

"I can't do it. Goddammit you don't deserve this," her fingers twisted and tightened in the fabric of his jersey and she rested her forehead against his chest. She sounded exhausted. "I don't know how to deal with this. How do I make all of you go away?" She then pushed at him and his surprise made him stumble backwards. Ame rubbed her eyes roughly. "I actually don't hate you, you know? I know that sounds pointless after," she waved the hand not holding her umbrella in a jerky motion, "everything I've done, but I don't hate you. I just love my sister more and I know she would have hated what I was about to do so...I won't."

Subaru reached for her, concern warring with several other complicated emotions, and his hand stopped a few inches above her shoulder. "Ame-chan, I think you should know that-"

"Shut up, Subaru," she smacked his hand away. "You're still a problem. Don't compound the issue by talking." Then she took a deep breath and exhaled it softly. Ame patted down her hair, examined her skirt for wrinkles, and reapplied a coat of gloss. In a moment she was as composed as she had been before, and barring the slight redness to her eyes, it was as if nothing had ever happened.

She turned to stare at him for a long moment that made him feel like an insect being appraised. "I consider you the lesser of all the evils," she informed him eventually. "Be sure to stay that way. I can't guarantee that I'll always have a crisis of conscience."

That said, Ame turned and made her way towards the car park, leaving Subaru standing there as the rain fell around him.

...I KNOW AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS I SAID THAT AME WASN'T A BAD PERSON AND ALL BUT IMMA BE REAL WITH YA'LL THIS STORY IS GOING PLACES I DIDN'T EXPECT ALSO I JUST WATCHED A PLAYTHROUGH OF DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB BEFORE I WROTE THIS SO I MAY CHANGE SOME THINGS BUT I WANTED TO POST THIS ANYWAY SINCE I LIKE HOW IT CAME OUT

ALSO KUDOS TO ANYONE WHO RECOGNISES AME'S LINES.

EDIT: I edited the chapter because listen...Ame isn't heartless...also someone wanted her to bond with the brothers so consider this a Subaru and Ame Bonding Moment