Sick At Heart

Ame only attended the festival because her class had asked her to. When she was in high school she used to love school celebrations. The feeling of a having a place that was normally used for something as dour and restrictive as learning being converted into a funhouse was a heady thing and even now as an adult she couldn't help the smile that curved her lips.

The air in the corridors was thick with the scent of sugar and cooking meat and rang with the shouts and squeals of children. Ame could even spot the handiwork of her class in the painted on butterflies that covered some cheeks. Laughing to herself, she touched her own and lightly traced the rough shape of blue petals.

Ema's class had been converted into an English-style cafe and Ame had made it a point to not stop by. Maybe it was pettiness or something else entirely, but she didn't want to turn up there and have to face Ema. Not with the sort of thoughts she was having.

Maybe she should just leave. She'd done her duty and turned up to support her class, and after this festival her time as a TA/intern would be over. She could write her essay, turn in her work experience form to her lecturer, and go back to her usual job of selling customers butter-cream-covered cakes while they tried to justify the high prices and higher calories.

It was still early though. A quick look at her phone screen informed her that it was just barely past midday. If she went home what would she do? Well she could hang out with Kaname. That would be nice. There was also the added bonus of being able to check up on Azusa. She'd been worried about him ever since he'd collapsed that morning.

In that case she ought to bring home something for them. Mochi and takoyaki seemed like safe bets and Ame bought three helpings of each which wiped out all the paper and loose change she had with her. She'd have to stop at an ATM on her way home then.

For a spring day it was quite warm, Ame noted as she walked to the bus stop. Although there was enough wind to flutter the ends of her skirt, the sun still beat down on her. Soon her cardigan began to feel like it was very slowly and very uncomfortably being glued to her skin. With a sigh, Ame stopped walking and pulled off the pale yellow fabric, exhaling a sigh of relief as the wind ghosted over her bare shoulders.

Then she spotted a familiar face going into a building. Ukyo? Ame cocked her head thoughtfully. Huh, was that his office? She'd never bothered to look it up before. It was a fairly nice building, tall and painted dark brown with pale cream accents. All the windows she can see are pulled shut and gleam in the bright sunlight.

Hm, Ame considers it for a few more seconds, and then is about to turn and leave when she spots it: an ATM machine a few feet to the side of the building. Pleased, Ame quickly skipped across the road and walked over to the machine-

-only to find a very stern-looking security guard blocking her path. Slightly annoyed but mostly just confused, Ame lifted her head and blinked up at the man. "Can I help you?"

If anything his expression gets even sterner. "Mr. Asahina has made it clear that he doesn't want to see you here again."

"Mr. Asahina – do you mean Ukyo?" Ame's eyebrows have moved to the top of her head. "'Again'? I've never even been here before!"

"Ms. Amamiya, you cannot-"

"Whoa, stop!" Ame held up her free hand to interrupt him, cocking her hip and resting her weight on one leg in a deliberate manner. "I don't know who this Amamiya person is but that's not me. My name is Hinata Ame and I'm Ukyo's stepsister. Not to mention I'm not even entering this place. I was going to use the ATM machine that's right there."

The security guard turned and looked behind him at the inconspicuous machine. Ame was prepared for him to bluster his way through a non-apology and so was surprised when he actually flushed pink and stepped backwards, apologising profusely for being so rude. It took the wind out of her sales and left her a little off-kilter for most the train ride home.

Kaname's home when she got there. She found him on the couch, an arm flung over his eyes to hide from the sun and functionally dead to the world. Chuckling to herself, Ame dropped the food on the kitchen table and walked over to pull the curtains shut. The room took on a quieter atmosphere, silent aside from Ukyo's snuffles and the hum of the air conditioner.

Deciding to take advantage of this rare moment, Ame pulled out one of the containers of takoyaki and transferred them to a plate. While waiting for it to heat up in the microwave, she put the mochi in the fridge and checked her phone for messages.

The smell of hot food filled the room as the microwave finishes its work with a loud 'ding'. Apparently Kaname wasn't as dead as he appeared because a few seconds later he stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and blinking blearily. "Is that...takoyaki...?"

"You can have this set, I bought more," Ame pushed the plate towards him and snickered when he dropped down in the chair and practically inhaled one before choking and gasping hot, hot!

It's another ten minutes before Azusa smelled the enticing aroma of octopus and green onions and came downstairs. There's a bowl of steaming hot takoyaki in the centre of the table and a small bowl of soy sauce for dipping next to it. Ame leaned over her chair and arched her eyebrow. "Hungry? There's strawberry mochi in the fridge if you don't want this."

Azusa's embarrassed to admit that it took him a little too long to answer but he chalked that up to the headache building between his eyes and not how pretty Ame looks in blue. "Ah, thank you. This is fine."

He's rewarded with a genuinely kind smile and a nod. "I'll make lunch in an hour but I thought you two might want something to eat."

Kaname hummed around a mouthful of food. He swallowed and curved his lips in a smile that's mostly platonic but also just this side of romantic. "Ame-chan, you're such a good sister," their older brother said, reaching across the table to pinch her cheek.

Ame immediately turned that smile on him instead and Azusa struggles to hide his jealousy. Glaring at his plate only served to make his headache worse. "Ah, Azusa, are you feeling better?" He jerked and blinked at her. Ame frowned back at him, worry creasing her eyebrows.

"Oh, yeah I'm feeling alright now," he forced his smile to look as natural as possible. "I think I was just tired I've had a lot of all-nighters since I accepted that role."

Ame didn't look settled and the crease on her forehead only deepened as she stood up. "I have painkillers in my room. Take some before you go to work, alright?"

Azusa watched her skip up the stairs, taking them two at a time. When he turned back to continue eating the now lukewarm takoyaki he was surprised to see Kaname staring at him. His normally bright eyes and roguish grin had been swapped out for something more thoughtful and a little bit sad.

"So," he said, "you too?"

Azusa felt himself stiffen instinctively even as his face didn't change. "I don't know what you mean."

Kaname cocked his head, his eyes drifting in the direction of the stairs. "I'm surprised," he continued as if Azusa hadn't said anything, "I thought Ema-chan would be more your type."

"They're our sisters," Azusa snapped; it was a retort as much as it was a reminder.

"Not by blood," Kaname watched him with that unusually too-sharp gaze.

Azusa frowned at him. "Ame-chan would claw out your eyes for saying that. What are you getting at?"

Kaname chuckled and all of a sudden he was back to being the joking Casanova. "I'm thinking things are going to get much worse around here before they get better. I just don't know who's going to trigger it."

oOo

Ema came home with bite marks on her throat and Ame has to leave the room and calm down. Ema shot her sister a concerned look when Ame didn't comment on the obvious marks and only handed her a tube of concealer. Then there was no time to worry over that because Azusa chose that moment to collapse again after an argument with Tsubaki.

Ame didn't like hospitals. Not because they held any traumatic memories for her, but because underneath the stark scent of industrial-grade antiseptic that covered the floors and walls there was always the scent of sickness that could never be washed away. It was an much real as it was psychological and Ame hated it.

Masaomi stood beside them as they watched Azusa sleep through the observation window. The heart monitor of to the side flickered steadily and Ame fancied she could hear the beep every second.

"We still have to keep him for examination so he will have to stay at the hospital overnight," Masaomi informed them in a soft tone. "His condition is stable though so Azusa should be fine after a preliminary check-up and a good night's rest. I should inform Natsume too..."

Ema smiled with relief. "I'll do that!"

"Thank you," Masaomi smiled back at her and patted her on the head, "you being here has been a big help Ema-chan."

Masaomi watched the younger girl run off, her phone clenched in her hand. Once she turned the corner, Ame exhaled softly, drawing his attention. When he met her eyes they were hard and searching. "Is Azusa actually going to be alright? Did you just say that to calm her down or will he definitely get better?"

The doctor sighed and looked back at his brother. "That's not an easy question. I wasn't lying when I said he'd recover – he's in stable condition and his internal activity is perfectly fine – but it definitely won't be as easy as taking a few antibiotics and sleeping it off. However we won't know until I get the results."

Ame hummed thoughtfully and then she nodded and gave him a small smile that. "Thank you for your work, Masaomi-nii," she bowed at the waist and then walked off, her normally perfect locks coming loose out of the braid and flying out behind her. Masaomi smiled to himself; so she did care after all.

The air outside was chilly and the wind whipped her hair into an even bigger mess. Ame regretted that she'd forgotten to bring a coat in her panic. She found Ema standing in front of the gate, just lowering the phone from her ear. "How did Natsume-nii take the news?" Ame asked as she came to stand beside her.

"Fine, I think," Ema replied. The moon shone brightly overhead, a gorgeous round disc surrounded by sharp pinpricks of light. Ema wondered what sort of worlds surrounded those distant stars. She wondered if any of them were like here and if there was someone like her staring up and wondering the same thing.

She wondered what they would do in her position.

Her sister's gentle nudge shook Ema out of her thoughts. Ame blinked at her, the moon reflected in her eyes. "It's getting cold. We should go home and let everyone know Azusa's going to be alright."

"...yeah, we should."

The train ride back home was silent, not quite awkward but not comfortable either. It wasn't something Ema was used to feeling with Ame. Ame who hid her emotions like they were a hindrance but who always showed her cards when Ema asked. Knowing she was being kept in the dark like this, it wasn't a good feeling Ema thought. It felt like there was a crack between them and she had no idea how to pull it shut.

Tsubaki was in the same place they'd left him in. He barely lifted his head to acknowledge their arrival, only a slight shift of his eyes. "Masaomi-nii said that Azusa will be fine, he just needs to stay at the hospital for the night," Ema told him gently.

"...oh," was Tsubaki's only reply, and then he went back to staring unseeingly back at the ceiling. The two girls glanced at each other. Ame shook her head and nodded in the direction of the stairs. I'll handle this.

As soon as she couldn't hear Ema's footsteps on the staircase, Ame went to sit down on the couch next to Tsubaki. For a long few seconds neither of them said anything, and then Tsubaki lifted his head and bent over at the waist so he could stare at his clasped hands. "...you've already called Natsume, right?"

"Ema did that before we left the hospital," Ame replied without looking at him. Eye contact didn't feel right.

Tsubaki nodded. "Yeah, he already contacted Ausa's manager. I should have done that but I couldn't think of anything at all." He lapsed back into silence again. Ame counted the ticks of the clock until he spoke again. "Hey, did you know? Siblings that are born together are said to share one soul. Even if the body is separated into many pieces, it's still the same soul. That's why, even when they're so far apart from each other, they can still feel what the other feels."

Ame's eyes widened when she met his eyes and found them gleaming with unshed tears. His lips look bitten raw and his hands trembled where they clutched almost frantically at his chest.

"I can't feel Azusa," Tsubaki rasped out. "I can't feel anything. It's as if he's not here anymore."

"But he is," Ame placed a hand on his tense shoulder. "He might not be here physically, but he is still with us. He's still with you! You still have him, Tsubaki-nii."

His muscles tensed even more under her arm and then suddenly relaxed. Tsubaki chuckled wetly. "It hurts, you know. It hurts to hear you say something so kind when I know you hate me."

Ame huffed and shook her head. "I don't hate you. I'll never be alright with what you tried to do, nor will I accept your feelings, but I don't hate you. I want us to be family, for Ema's sake at the very least. I think you're a good person and you make me laugh. So can we stay that way instead?"

He stared at her and then pulled her into a sudden hug. "I was impatient," he muttered, his mouth close to her ear, "I was impatient about work and about you. I did something reckless and I almost hurt you, and I am sorry Ame-chan. Azusa was trying to talk sense into me and he fell. It's like I put him in the hospital."

"You didn't," Ame replied gently. "And I'm sure if you told Azusa-nii this he would say the same thing."

Another laugh in her ear, less teary but just as sad as the one before. "I know. If I told Azusa this, he would definitely forgive me. That's why I can't forgive myself."

Me: I want to write a comedy fic where a girl calls out the issues with a pseudo-incest otome game in a cute light-hearted way!

Me, 20 chapters of drama later: well shit