Foxglove and Lavender

When Ema was in elementary school, she'd done a project on homelessness. It wasn't a very well-researched paper, mostly filled with bullet points she'd copied from her textbook and colourful pictures printed from the internet, and she'd spent more time fiddling with the font and borders than anything else.

Some things just stick with you, without a rhyme or reason, and one of those things that Ema remembered seven years later was that approximately 1/7 people between the ages of 10 and 18 ran away from home. She wasn't sure if this related to Ame. Using the phrase "run away from home" implied immaturity, recklessness, a lack of planning, and Ema wasn't sure Ame had ever been unprepared for anything in her life. She wondered what kind of toll that sort of rigidness could have on a person.

Ame's room wasn't empty. It wasn't like she'd packed all her things and stripped the bed and table bare, no. One suitcase was missing; a blue polka-dot wheeler that was the twin of her own pink one. Approximately half of her clothes were also gone, as well as several other important items like her laptop and schoolbooks. If Ema closed the partially-empty wardrobe and looked around, she could almost pretend that her sister was simply at a class.

Ema closed the door. Everyone was gathered downstairs but she couldn't bring herself to join them while she still felt so out of sorts. She peered over the banister in time to see Ukyo bite his lip and pull his phone from his ear. "She's still not answering any of my calls."

"Of course she's not," Iori snapped. He'd been uncharacteristically testy ever since Ame had disappeared. His sudden mood swings worried Ema as his previous prince-like behaviour gave way to either eerie introspective silence or sharp words.

Kaname shot his younger brother a quick look but nodded. "Iori has a point. We're the last people she would want to speak to."

"She didn't have to disappear though!" Tsubasa growled, fingers tightening where they're curled around his biceps. "She could have just talked about it! Talked to us! We're supposed to be a family dammit!"

"Are we though?"

No one had an answer to Azusa's question. It hung there in the air, both a genuine query and a silent rebuke. Ema watched them from her vantage point before stepping backwards and curling up on the corner couch. She looked down at the book on her lap. It was one of the photo albums she'd been making. It was so strange to think that such a happy moment had only been a few weeks ago but now it felt impossible, almost like it had happened to someone else.

This was their picture book. The first few pages were filled with baby pictures that their father – it was still hard to think about – had taken while they were growing up. There weren't that many and they ended sometime around Ema's ninth birthday. There was a definite switch after that, the camerawork changed; polaroids taken by affectionate nannies, professional photographers, and finally the girls themselves.

"What are you reading?"

Ema jumped at the sudden interruption and looked up at Louis. Out of all the older brothers – they'd told Wataru that Ame was doing something for work in order to keep him from worrying – Louis seemed to be the least worried. He was concerned of course, though it was hard to tell, but unlike the others he didn't seem to be in any hurry to drag Ame home by her lapels.

Had this been anyone else, Ema might have found this infuriating. Instead she tipped the page so he could see what she'd been looking at. It was a picture of five people all dressed in loose high school uniforms. Their shirts were unbuttoned, ribbons undone, at least one of them had a tattoo peeking out above his collar and another had bright purple streaks in her hair. They looked like gang members, the kids that skipped classes smoked in dark corners.

And Ame was right in the middle of them.

Her hair was much shorter with bigger curls and her face was a little thinner but it was still her. She had her arms flung around the girl and guy on either side of her and she was grinning like he had never seen.

"She...looks happy..." Louis murmured.

Ema smiled. "She used to be in a gang. Back then she was so angry at the world and I never noticed. I don't think she wanted me to notice but I was too oblivious. She would beat up bullies and pick fights and skip classes and I would just...not say anything...

"Looking back now, I think she wanted someone to ask what was wrong. I think she wanted to be out of control and have someone be there to catch her when she dropped," Ema felt her throat constrict. She swallowed and blinked rapidly. "I should have done something. I just let her do everything for me without question. It never occurred to me that she was just a child too. We were both kids."

Louis tilted his head slowly to the side. Soft blue-grey eyes blinked slowly. "What...do you think you should have done?"

Ema gave a helpless shrug. "I should have...I don't know...I should have offered to do more chores, or fought more of my own battles, or-"

"You're dwelling...on past things," Louis interrupted, a move so unusual that Ema was surprised. "You both...hurt each other...You both did things wrong...this isn't your fault...and it's not her fault either. This space...doesn't mean...you can never be close again."

That was the longest speech Ema had ever had with Louis and at the end of it she felt like crying all over again. Before she could start however, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She fished it out, wiping the blurriness from her eyes with the back of her free hand. It was a text from an international number.

I heard about what happened. I'm coming home asap. Love you, dad.

oOo

The thing no one tells you about living alone is how easy it is to let everything fall to absolute ruin. There's no one in the vicinity to impress so who cares if you don't wash the dishes immediately, or if you leave your clothes in a pile on the floor! Who cares if you eat cheap ramen noodles and sandwiches three days in a row!

Ame lay on the futon, still dressed in her pyjamas despite it being 3p.m. and despite these 'pyjamas' just being the top she'd worn the previous day and a pair of fabric shorts that had once been black but were steadily inching towards patchy grey. Beside her was a bowl of cheap buttery popcorn and in front of her on the TV was a romantic drama. The same series had been playing since 10a.m. that morning. It was trite and formulaic, filled with loud histrionics and cameras zooming into people's faces to denote exciting plot twists.

At the moment Ame was somewhat invested in whether or not the rich son would go along with his parents' wishes and marry the CEO's daughter or follow his heart and elope with the gardener.

It was while the two lovebirds were exchanging steamy notes via flower language that someone knocked on the door. And then that someone apparently grew impatient after the 2 second wait because the next sound she heard was that of a key and then the door unlocking. A moment later Sora appeared next to her, hands on her hips and looking wholly unimpressed.

"Is this what you've been doing all day?" She asked.

Ame ate another handful of popcorn. "I also did some homework," she replied. "Want some?" She offered the bowl.

Sora narrowed her eyes. "Oh my god, you're actually moping. I don't think I've ever seen you mope. I don't like it. How long do you plan to stay here like this?"

"Until my bank account empties and I can't afford the discount rent your girlfriend gave me," Ame replied moodily. A piece of popcorn missed her mouth and bounced off her chin, landing on her chest. She stared at it balefully and then heaved a sigh. "It's my fault you know."

"...I mean, I'm not gonna disagree with you..."

They both giggled for a second and then Ame shook her head. "Yeah, I know it's my fault. You were right, Ema was right, I always stick my nose into things. I always want to be in control of everything and I hate when things don't go my way. I'm petty and mean and manipulative and..." tears spilled out from the corner of her eyes as she trailed off. "I'm not a good person. I'm...I'm not a good person Sora..."

The other woman plucked the stray popcorn piece from her clavicle and ate it. "...hey, remember why you dropped out of our gang in high school?"

In spite of herself, Ame snorted out a laugh. "You mean our little group? Ugh we thought we were so cool..."

"Hey, we were cool!" Sora shoved her playfully. "Maia had henna tattoos and everything!"

"Maia was too cool for all of us," Ame sassed back. "What about me leaving the gang? I left because Ema had an emergency and I needed to be there for her."

Sora nodded. "How many things in your life can you apply that to though? How many clubs and activities and groups have you left because you wanted to be there for your little sister? Do you have a favourite colour? Book? What genders are you attracted to? What do you know about yourself that isn't tangentially related to your sister?

"Look," she pushed her fingers through her bright blue hair, "I'm not going to pretend that you made good decisions all the time, and neither should you! You're not perfect and you're not always going to be in control of everything! If you hold yourself together so tightly all the time you're going to snap one day and fall apart."

Ame sniffled, loud and ugly and wet. "That sounds terrible. Is this how you comfort your girlfriend?"

"Screw you, Hana thinks my comforting skills are amazing!"

"Yeah I bet she does," Ame snickered and then squealed when Sora overturned the popcorn bowl on her head. "If you get butter stains in this futon I will fight you!"

.

.

.

.

And somewhere halfway across the world, a man packed his bags and prepared to catch his flight. The sky twinkled merrily with a thousand stars that watched him as he fiddled with the photograph in his hands. Rintarou pressed his lips together and sighed. It was time to talk to his daughters.

Not entirely satisfied with this one but I wanted to post something! Let me know what you think!