Chapter 31.
Penelope sighed as Kayo paced in front of her for what felt like the hundredth time.
"Seriously? Who do they think they are?" Shadow's pilot snarled, pausing to deliver a well-aimed kick to her wardrobe door, "I tried to help them, and they've gone and thrown it all back in my face."
Over on Kayo's portable holoprojector, Penelope rolled her eyes, "You seriously didn't think pitting brother against brother would end well, did you? Don't you remember the turkey eating contest of fifty eight?"
Kayo shuddered. She'd never forget that for as long as she lived.
"They're men, Kayo, and men react very differently to women when their egos are bruised," Penelope continued, "It was to be expected that they'd somehow find a way of turning everything back onto you. It's a distraction from their own shortcomings."
The wardrobe suffered yet another kick.
"Easy for you to say," Kayo muttered darkly, "You don't have to live with them. I hope their legs are as quick as their mouths, because I'm not going to let this slide. My intentions were good, and that's all that matters. Did you know they never even thanked me?"
"Us," Penelope corrected, "I may be behind the scenes, but I've been an integral part of this operation."
Kayo's shoulders sagged, "Sorry, you're right. It's just been a more intense experience from my angle. I honestly invested a lot of myself into each date and to have them turn around and laugh at me…to be perfectly frank, I hate them right now."
Penelope inclined her head in sympathy, "It might not be the ending we originally envisioned, but you don't have to call time on it if you're not ready."
Kayo's eyes narrowed in determination, "You're right. It's not over until we say it's over. Ideas, Penny! We need ideas! Oh wait, I think I can feel one coming…"
The holoprojector flickered as Penelope scooped Sherbert off the floor, "Well, we can start by not doing anything impulsive."
Kayo wasn't listening, her mind a whirlwind of activity, "Okay, Alan's the weak link of the group. If I could somehow enlist his assistance without the others finding out…oh, who am I kidding, I'll just bully him into cooperating. That kid loves me. I could probably shove my fist down his throat and he'd still find a reason to thank me. Oh! I could tackle him on one of his midnight snack hunts…"
Blond brows knitted together as Penelope frowned, "Kayo, what did I just say about being impulsive? Singling Alan out would be a terrible idea, unless you're willing to take on the other four all at the same time. You may have been able to handle them individually, but I wouldn't risk starting a Tracy stampede by messing with Alan. You know how particular they all are about him."
Kayo growled and fisted her hands through her hair. Her partner in crime had a point. She could easily wrangle the boys individually, but a quintet of Tracys was a whole different kind of rodeo.
"I have an idea," Penelope began, her blue gaze steely calm, "However, it will require a reversal of roles. You'll have to vacate the driver's seat and let me take charge on this one."
"If it gets me the revenge I need, then I'll quite happily do anything," Kayo admitted, her mouth pursed in defiance.
A sly smile began to infect Penelope's face, "Wonderful. While it's not the most complex of plans, I'm confident it'll provide us with a wealth of opportunities to remind the lads who exactly they're dealing with. I'll have to go away and work out some of the finer details with Parker and Bertie, but in the meantime, how comfortable are you with picking locks?"
Kayo's brow creased in confusion, "Penny, my job is literally to pick locks, in both the physical and digital sense."
"Good," Penelope replied, her blue eyes studying her compact mirror, "My scans shows that two members of your household are currently in the shower. If the heat signatures are anything to go by, it looks like Gordon and John."
Kayo's frown deepened as she struggled to keep pace with her blond colleague, "Is there a reason you're telling me this, or are you just trying to force uncomfortable images into my head?"
Penelope smiled frostily and snapped her mirror shut.
"Steal their trousers for me, would you? A dash of spontaneous revenge won't hurt."
-x-
Kayo whistled to herself as she descended the staircase.
She'd originally intended to whip herself up a quick salad for dinner, however was surprised when she saw a plate of leftover lasagne sitting next to the fridge. It was covered by a dish cloth and had a note stuck to it which read: 'Kayo's lasagne. Property of Kayo. Do not touch except for Kayo' in Scott's handwriting.
Shadow's pilot hummed in interest. The smell alone was enough to make her drool. She usually steered well clear of pasta dishes, simply because Sally had a horrible habit of cremating them, however this particular one looked relatively normal. Good, even.
A chair scraping across the floor alerted her to another presence in the room.
"I thought you might be hungry," Scott informed as he made his way over to the sink to deposit an empty glass, "We've already eaten. You didn't come downstairs when we called you, so I just went ahead and saved you a plate. I'm afraid you missed the ice cream we had for dessert, though. No way could I keep a bowl of that safe from Alan and Gordon."
Kayo grunted in acknowledgement and picked the plate up, eyeballing it suspiciously.
"I made it myself, so you're quite safe," Scott added, smiling at Kayo's apprehension, "Grandma mentioned something about a shipment of liver she's waiting on. I've volunteered to take over kitchen duty until it arrives and we all perish."
Kayo grimaced at the possibilities open to Sally with the aid of liver, "Thank you. For the food, I mean. It looks delicious."
"You're welcome," Scott beamed, oblivious to Kayo's internal swoon, "John complained that I used too much garlic, but I think he's just a wuss. Not like we're going to be kissing anyone tonight."
Kayo felt herself die a little on the inside.
"Sorry for earlier, by the way," Scott continued, pausing from rinsing out his glass to look up, "I know we got a little carried away, but it was all in good fun. No hard feelings?"
Kayo felt as if all the blood in her body had migrated to her face. The last thing she'd expected after stealing Gordon and John's pants was a homecooked dinner and an apology from the head of the Tracy clan.
Scott smiled mischievously, "If you're still mad at me, I could whip up a quick Eton mess to sweeten the deal?"
The heat in Kayo's cheeks reached egg frying level.
Over at the kitchen table, the other four were engaged in a battle capable of realigning the entire solar system.
"I'll put my 'A' down to make 'A'," Virgil announced, idly sipping from a mug of coffee.
Alan smiled and dipped his finger into the pile of Scrabble letters, "And I, dear brother, will add to your 'A' to make 'AM'."
"And I'll add onto your 'AM' to make 'AMP'," Gordon declared, his voice muffled by the Celery Crunch bar lodged in his mouth.
John smiled serenely before going for the kill, "I'll add onto your 'AMP' to make 'METHAMPHETAMINE'."
There was a brief moment of stunned silence as Alan frantically consulted a dictionary. After receiving visual confirmation that John's word was legitimate (despite Virgil's outraged objection), Gordon took matters into his own hands and seized the board before flipping it clean over. Celery yelped and scurried for cover as Scrabble tiles rained down and scattered across the floor.
Scott snorted from his position behind the sink, "Seriously, John? You couldn't let them win one round?"
The redhead shrugged and helped himself to an apple from the fruit bowl, "It's a well-known nervous system stimulant."
"And you're a well-known pain in the ass," Virgil snapped, cringing when a Scrabble tile crunched under his foot, "Don't come to me if you ever need a kidney."
Kayo rolled her eyes and dropped to her knees to help Alan collect the stray tiles. She was reaching to retrieve a particularly agile one that had pinged off in the direction of the patio, when the holo-table suddenly beeped.
"Good evening, Tracy Island," Penelope greeted in her usual polite manner, "No rescues still?"
"Absolutely none. Nil, zilch, nada," Virgil replied with a lazy stretch, "Don't suppose you'd be up for tossing Sherbert into a volcano?"
Penelope gave a tinkling laugh, "Very funny, Virgil. I might be able to offer you an alternative, however."
Five heads snapped up in curiosity.
"I understand that myself and Kayo have put you boys through the wringer this week," Penelope began, her face an unreadable porcelain mask, "Please be assured that our sole intention was to help you, even though it may not have felt like it at times. I've had an in-depth discussion with Kayo, and we both agree that you boys would probably learn more from observing a date rather than participating directly in one. In light of this, I'd like to propose the following: I will take Kayo on a series of outings and demonstrate how to excel in the five categories we scored you in. I will organise and pay for everything, so all you need to do is come along for the ride. What do you think?"
Alan looked to Gordon. Gordon looked to John. John looked to Virgil. Virgil looked to Scott. Scott looked to Kayo…
…who currently had her backside in the air as she groped for a Scrabble tile that had ended up underneath one of the barstools.
"I suppose we've got nothing to lose," Scott admitted, "With no rescues coming in we're not exactly tight for time. Plus, it'll be nice to be wined and dined after the week we've just had."
"We'll need to make sure Brains is left on monitor duty," John warned, his disappointment at being unable to return to Thunderbird Five evident, "At least one of us has to be available to deploy if needed."
Scott nodded in agreement, "We'll keep our comms on at all times. I'll use Thunderbird One to get to wherever Lady P has in mind so that we can respond quickly if needed. Virg, are you okay to transport everyone else in Thunderbird Two? I assume Kayo will go with Lady P in FAB 1."
"Excellent!" Penelope chirped, "I'll send you the coordinates for the location I've selected. Please could you all ensure you're there by six o'clock sharp tomorrow evening? Casual wear will be fine."
"F.A.B," Scott replied.
"Any ideas on what our rather glamorous London agent has planned, Kayo?" Virgil asked, reaching to flick the kettle on as Penelope signed off.
Kayo reached for another Scrabble tile.
"No idea. Sorry."