Chapter 33.
Alan loved and hated being the youngest.
He secretly loved being doted on by his brothers.
He outwardly hated being unable to drink.
"Hello, boys!" Penelope sang from the deck of FAB 2 as she manoeuvred the passerelle into place so that her guests (and their new dog) could board, "Good flight?"
"Amazing," Scott replied through gritted teeth as he and Virgil manhandled John towards the stairs leading below deck, "Do you mind if we store him downstairs until after we've cast off? He's become a flight risk and the tranquilisers I gave him are starting to wear off."
"Of course," Penelope nodded and stepped out of the way, "Would he not be more comfortable up in the fresh air though?"
"He'll just jump overboard," Alan replied, taking his sweater off and trying to blindfold his brother like a panicked horse, "We've learnt that keeping him in a locked room is the simplest option."
John snarled and swiped Alan's hands away from his face.
"Oh, what a little darling!" Penelope gasped as Celery padded across the deck, "Are you the latest addition to International Rescue?"
Delighted that his new dog was also a chick magnet, Gordon swaggered over to claim possession, "Yeah, I rescued her from the street in Rio. She was really underweight and had a few nasty wounds, but she's doing much better now with plenty of cuddles and a regular supply of treats."
Penelope smiled as Sherbert poked his head out of the cockpit and hurtled towards Celery, his eyes wide and excited.
"I'd better put her downstairs with John," Gordon exclaimed, "I don't want her getting seasick on her first ever boat ride. C'mon girl, let's go and find your uncle."
"You can take Bertie as well if you like," Penelope offered, kneeling to scoop the little pug off the floor, "He can keep her company if she gets jittery."
"F.A.B," Gordon smiled and held his arms out for Sherbert, a silent scream of delight rattling his lungs when Penelope's hand accidentally brushed against his.
It was at that moment that Alan came stomping back up the staircase he, Scott, Virgil, and John had just disappeared down.
"Be careful," the youngest warned as Gordon breezed past with his canine posse in tow, "Don't open the door too wide, or he'll bolt."
"What's bolting?" a new voice piped up.
Alan felt his cheeks turn scarlet as Kayo suddenly materialised next to Penelope. Thunderbird Shadow's pilot was wearing a white knee length dress, paired with dark sunglasses and wedge heels. A large sunhat obscured most of her face from view.
Gordon sniggered at Alan's dumbfounded expression.
"Right now? Probably Alan's hormones."
-x-
Three hours later, the scene onboard FAB 2 had shifted dramatically.
John had been released from his prison and had returned to the upper deck, only to have glass after glass of Pimms shoved into his hand by their overly attentive aristocratic hostess.
Scott and Virgil had graduated from Pimms to beer and were happily necking their third bottles as they sat on the bow and enjoyed the sea breeze.
Gordon had brought his diving gear with him and had taken Alan snorkelling off the starboard side of the yacht. After an hour of gazing at colourful schools of fish and tracking a couple of common stingarees, the blond duo had returned to the yacht and sneaked off with what remained of the Pimms jug and a couple of Virgil's beers.
Penelope and Kayo had cracked open a bottle of champagne and were sipping their second flutes as their gazes flicked between the rapidly setting sun, and John who was drunkenly clinging to Virgil's arm and singing very off-key.
Parker had retreated to the sanctity of the cockpit, a glass of Scotch in one hand and a radio in the other. He'd told Penelope to shout if she needed him, but had made it clear that he didn't expect to be summoned for anything that fell short of mortal peril.
Celery and Sherbert were engaged in a rather slippery game of chase, their claws scrabbling against the shiny wood floor of the deck as they hurtled after each other.
Penelope placed her champagne flute down and cleared her throat loudly, "I can see that you're all enjoying yourselves, so I'll make my first dating masterclass quick. As I'm sure you remember, the first category Kayo scored you all on was your choice of clothing. Today, I want to teach you a little bit more about how important one's sense of fashion is while on a date. Kayo, could you kindly stand up and give us a twirl?"
Shadow's pilot looked horrified at her colleague's suggestion, however stood and gave an awkward pirouette.
"When it comes to clothing, it's always best to plan your date activity and location at least a day in advance," Penelope began, "Spontaneity is good, however can make selecting an outfit problematic, especially if you lack the appropriately designed or coloured garments. I sent Kayo a synopsis of where and what our date would entail yesterday, which gave both her and myself sufficient time to plan functional yet stylish ensembles. As you can see, Kayo's choice of pairing a sundress with a sunhat and sunglasses was an astute choice, given Sydney's rather warm weather. She also has her swimsuit on underneath her dress, meaning she can quickly and discreetly change her attire based on the activity that we're doing."
Gordon blinked sluggishly, "That sounds way too complicated. Clothes are clothes. You buy 'em, you wear 'em, you wash 'em, you toss 'em."
Penelope quirked an immaculately plucked brow, "Now, Gordon. Fashion can be bought, but one must possess style."
Gordon gave a tipsy snort, "Still sounds like far too much effort."
"Hence why you only scored a three," Penelope retorted, gasping loudly when Sherbert lost his battle against the shiny oak floor and slid to the end of the yacht before disappearing into the sea with a 'plop'.
"Don't worry!" John slurred as he staggered towards the edge of the deck like an intoxicated giraffe, "I-I'll get him!"
Kayo and Penelope barely had time to make sense of the situation before the redhead toppled into the sea with a comically loud splash.
"Man overboard!" Scott hollered, breaking into tipsy hysterics as he groped for his fourth beer.
"I-I'm on it!" Gordon hiccupped, pausing to slap his hand against his knee as a random bout of giggling momentarily overwhelmed him. After a few seconds of chortling at absolutely nothing, he weaved his way towards the port side of the boat, forgetting that John had fallen over the starboard side.
As a rather cross-eyed Gordon scanned the water for anything with a head of red hair, Alan stumbled up the staircase from the lower deck. The youngest was clutching an empty glass of Pimms and was nibbling on one of the mint leaves, his face green.
"I-I don't feel so good," Alan moaned, clutching his stomach and hobbling towards Scott and Virgil, "D-Don't think I should have had that second beer."
Kayo shared a tense glance with Penelope at Alan's admission. Scott policed what the youngest drank like a sergeant, and Virgil would no doubt disapprove of his unlawful behaviour.
Much to the two women's surprise, Scott began to calmly shake his head, "That's because you've done it all wrong, Allie. Come and sit with us," Scott motioned to the spare chair in-between him and Virgil, "We'll show you how to drink properly."
"Scott!" Kayo admonished, shock coursing through her. Alan was tipsy and in need of caring supervision, not a live drinking demonstration.
Virgil waved a dismissive hand in Kayo's direction, "He's gonna drink someday and we'd rather he learnt the basics from us. Besides, it's not like any of us are sober enough to look after him anyway."
Penelope sighed as Scott pulled out some shot glasses and began filling them with the expensive whiskey she'd picked up on her last trip to Tokyo, "I suppose we should just let them get on with it. Boys will be boys."
Kayo scowled, unsatisfied with Virgil's response, "I hope this boat has plenty of buckets, because something tells me that none of us are going to be getting much sleep tonight. Alan, how on earth have you managed to get drunk on just Pimms?"
Alan chewed his lip and accepted the shot Scott was holding out for him, "I thought it was some kind of fruit juice with the strawberries and everything. Then Gordon offered me a beer and dared me to see who could finish theirs quickest. Oh man, I really don't feel well…"
"Drink that," Scott instructed, pointing to the shot glass in Alan's hand before pouring his own, "Trust me, you'll feel loads better."
Ever obedient, Alan did as instructed, gagging loudly when he felt his throat blister, "Gah! It burns!"
"Well done," Scott praised, clicking his glass against Virgil's before downing his own shot, "The first one is always the worst, but trust me, it gets much better."
Kayo sighed and turned her attention back to Gordon. The aquanaut was dangling over the railings and continuing to scour the sea for John, who was floating on his back off the port side and gazing lovingly up at the stars.
It was at that moment that a particularly choppy swell rocked the yacht. The jolt was minor and the damage onboard non-existent, save for Virgil spilling his next shot down his arm.
Unfortunately, Gordon's complete lack of coordination meant that the impact caught him off guard. With a surprised yelp, he found himself dumped overboard like his ginger brother before him.
"Man overboard…again!" Scott guffawed, snorting whiskey through his nose and choking between laughs.
Penelope gave a groan of despair and grabbed one of the life rings before tossing it in Gordon's general direction, "I deeply regret bringing alcohol along."
Kayo scoffed and refilled her champagne flute, "Speak for yourself. If they think I'm going to be the sober one looking after their drunken asses, then they've got another thing coming."
"I found him!" Gordon's voice echoed across the water as he gleefully swam in the direction of the stargazing John, "I found him! I found him!"
Penelope tipped her head back and sighed, jolting slightly when a Sherbert-shaped projectile sailed past. Gordon had encountered the little pug bobbing in his pink life jacket while on his way to John and had taken the liberty of launching him back onto the safety of the deck.
Kayo took a gulp of her champagne, letting the crisp taste travel around her mouth. Out of intrigue, she peered over to see how Scott was scoring on the tipsy scale…
…only to see him necking his fifth shot and laughing hysterically at something Virgil had said.
"No, no, no…" Virgil slurred, motioning desperately with his hands, "I know for a fact that Thunderbird Two could fit inside Thunderbird Four."
Scott gave a snort of laughter, slapping a hand over his mouth when a fountain of whiskey threatened to spray out, "Virg, please stop. You're killing me."
Alan meanwhile, looked on the verge of passing out. The youngest was slumped against Scott's shoulder, fighting desperately to keep his eyes open. When Virgil shoved yet another full shot glass into his hand, he didn't resist.
"Yoo-hoo!" Gordon yodelled, waving cheerily as he expertly backstroked his way around the stern, "Guys, you should totally come in. The water's warm, and I think I just saw a shark!"
Kayo's eyes widened in alarm. She twisted to stare at Penelope, only to find her blond colleague surprisingly unfazed.
"FAB 2 has state-of-the-art object detection sonar, which should alert us to any marine mammals above a certain size," Penelope assured, reaching to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "He probably just saw an underwater shadow."
Kayo hummed in agreement before turning her attention back to Scott.
Who had most definitely looked better.
"One moar…for luck…" the eldest slurred, sloppily pouring three more shots and handing them to his brothers, "This is really good stuff…we should buy some ourselves."
Penelope's eyebrows knitted together to form a frown, "Good luck with that, Scott. That was a rare vintage malt from the Hanyu distillery in Tokyo. There were only five bottles produced, and each sold for fifteen thousand pounds at auction."
"Ah, whoopsie," Scott hiccupped, peering at the bottle without a trace of guilt on his face, "Ah well, it tastes fantastic. Worth every penny."
Kayo's forehead creased in suspicion as Alan downed the final shot Scott had handed him, the alcohol in his blood beginning to override his previous fatigue.
"I'm a Thunderbird!" Alan yelled, leaping to his feet and sprinting towards the bow with his arms outstretched, "Thunderbird Three, ready for take-off!"
Before Kayo could intervene, Alan pivoted to face the stern. Kicking his foot up like a bull preparing to charge, the youngest exploded into a sprint, whizzing along the length of the deck in a blond blur before catapulting himself into the sea.
"You wanna say it?" Scott asked, turning towards Virgil with lidded eyes.
"M-Man overboard!" Virgil hollered, pausing midway to unsuccessfully stifle a belch.
Scott promptly dissolved into a peal of laughter.
Just when Kayo thought the evening couldn't possibly get any worse, fate proved her wrong.
Or rather, a certain tipsy redhead with too many allergies did.
"I love you all!" John drunkenly proclaimed, hauling himself out of the sea with all the grace of a sack of gravel, "I don't say it often, but I honestly love each and every single person on this boat so much. Also, does anyone know how long toilet paper lasts if you freeze it?"
Penelope frowned as John pushed his wet fringe out of his eyes. Though she'd never admit it out loud, she'd always felt that the middle brother possessed the most romantic potential out of the Tracy quintet. He was polite and intelligent, yet feisty and fiery at the same time.
Plus, his eyes were just to die for.
Unfortunately, he was doing very little to promote himself in his current state. Her sense of duty overriding any concerns she had about getting puked on, Penelope rose to her feet and walked over to the swaying John, taking one of his arms and slinging it over her shoulder.
"I think bed might be the best place for you," Penelope announced, her tone offering no room for negotiation as she gently steered her charge in the direction of the living quarters.
John blinked in confusion, but allowed himself to be led away.
Kayo knocked her head against the back of her chair and hissed loudly as Gordon also hauled himself out of the water. With the coordination of a failed ballerina, he staggered over to the guardrail before leaning over and promptly throwing up.
"Save me a space," Alan moaned, trying and failing to scramble back onto the safety of the deck himself. Inspired by the rather pitiful sight, Kayo rose to her feet, hooked her hands underneath Alan's sodden arms, treated him to a glare that could have shattered glass, and dragged him free from the clutches of the sea.
"T-T-Thanks," Alan stammered, clutching his stomach before crawling over to the railings and taking up residence next to Gordon.
Kayo threw her hands up in exasperation as she watched the two blonds pay for their drinking in one of the most undignified ways possible. Puking over the edge of their London agent's luxury yacht in the middle of Sydney Harbour after getting drunk on Pimms and beer, no less.
She'd expected better.
Over on the bow, Scott and Virgil were knocked out cold. Scott was curled up on his side, hugging a cushion and breathing softly. Virgil's head was dangling off the back of his chair, his limbs splayed in all directions as he let loose a string of loud snores.
The soft clicking of Penelope's heels as she returned from putting John to bed was music to Kayo's ears.
"The boat only has five cabins, so some of them will have to share," Penelope confessed, "Parker has his own room and I'm quite happy to bunk with you, providing you're happy with that?"
Kayo shrugged and adjusted the shoulder strap of her dress, "Fine with me. We can probably leave Scott and Virgil up here. They seem quite content."
Penelope bit the inside of her lip as she watched Virgil stretch in his sleep, "I'm not happy leaving them outside. The temperature is set to drop to just seven degrees tonight."
"Scott can always share with me," Kayo suggested, her tone mischievous, "I'm kidding, don't panic. How about this; one room for Gordon and Alan, one for Parker, one for John, one for Scott and Virgil, and one for you and me. Sound good?"
"F.A.B," Penelope replied, "Of course, that just leaves one small problem."
Kayo felt her eyes go skyward, "And what might that be?"
Penelope smoothed the front of her dress before knocking back the last of the champagne straight from the bottle, "How are we going to get Scott and Virgil downstairs?"
Over on the port side of the deck, Gordon groaned and slid to the floor.
"Virgil once told me that onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry, so I threw a potato at his face. He was wrong."