Chapter 41.

Kayo was jolted awake by her phone ringing.

Glancing blearily at the screen, she was not amused to see John's name blinking back at her.

"What do you want?" she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep.

"We need help," came the reluctant response. There was a muffled thud, closely followed by the sound of someone straining in the background.

"Yeah, I don't think so," Kayo replied, "Nobody forced Gordon to eat that entire platter of camembert puffs. He's going to have to deal with the consequences by himself."

"What?" John replied, "No, not that kind of help! I mean…well it's more along the lines of…oh, never mind! Can you just come over?"

Kayo sighed and buried her face in her pillow, "How do I know this isn't some kind of prank? Give me three reasons why I should leave the comfort of my bed to come and deal with whatever mess you idiots have made."

John gave a low growl, "Because I'll hack your phone and every other device you own if you don't do your job and come and assist us right now. You work for us, remember?"

On the right side of the bed, Penelope grumbled and yanked her sleep mask off, "Kayo? Who are you talking to at this hour? Ow, my head…"

Kayo huffed as she slid out of the covers and padded towards the door, "The boys are experiencing a spot of bother, Penny. I'll be back in five."

"I'll come with you," Penelope announced, groping for her dressing gown, "For backup."

"F.A.B," Kayo replied, clicking the door open and crossing the hallway in two strides. Much to her confusion, the boy's own door was firmly locked.

"This is International Rescue," Penelope whispered through the lock, her eyes glittering with mischief, "Do you require assistance?"

Kayo supressed a smile before knocking softly, "Lads, open up. We're not going to be popular if we loiter out here for long."

There was some more straining, closely followed by an exotic profanity.

"We can't! The key's over on the desk, and none of us can move," came Scott's wheezed reply.

Kayo's eyes rolled so far back she swore she caught a brief glimpse of her brain, "Stand back. I'll take care of this."

Penelope barely had time to draw breath before Kayo spun on her heel and karate kicked the door clean off its hinges.

"Kayo!" Penelope gasped, her hand flying to her mouth, "You've probably woken up everyone on this floor!"

"Don't be dramatic," Kayo clipped, motioning with her head for Penelope to enter the room ahead of her, "Six to eight rooms at the most."

Penelope cast her colleague a look of upper-class despair and gingerly edged her way around the downed slab of wood. Kayo followed, stooping afterwards to pick the door up. With the air of an experienced interior designer, she propped it back against its frame and smacked her lips in satisfaction.

"There. Now it's only obvious if you get close," Kayo declared, dusting her hands and pivoting to face her latest batch of victims.

As usual, she wasn't disappointed.

Scott, Virgil, John, Gordon and Alan were all sandwiched between the mattress of their bed, which had sprung shut and was encasing them like an oversized taco.

"I'm not even going to ask," Penelope muttered, biting her lip in a desperate attempt to maintain her composure, "Actually, I am. What on earth happened?"

"We broke the mattress," Gordon confessed, gesturing vaguely with the one arm that wasn't trapped, "Virgil reckons our combined weight busted the spring framework."

"Or maybe it was just the weight of your ego," Alan grunted, panting as he tried to lever himself free from the Virgil-John ravine he was caught in, "Kayo, save me first. I can pay you the most."

"Oh please," John scoffed, waving his hands and feet like a baby monkey as he struggled desperately against the confines of the pillows, "You blitzed the last tranche of money Scott loaned you on custom decals for Thunderbird Three. By the way, you do know Scott's still charging you interest on that loan, right?"

Alan merely hissed before turning his pleading blue eyes back to the two women stood in the doorway, "Please, Kayo? Gordon keeps threatening to fart, and I'm right in the centre of the blast radius. The others are older and stronger, but I'd never survive an act of such blatant flatology."

Kayo sighed and glanced at Scott, who was using his pillows as earmuffs, "Okay, we'll try and ease the mattress apart so that you can all roll off. If it's strong enough to trap all of you, then it'll probably need two sets of hands. Penny, care to help?"

"F.A.B," Penelope replied, rolling up the sleeves of her dressing gown as she took up position behind Virgil's head, "On the count of three. One-"

"Three!" John yelled, launching himself backwards with as much strength as his compromised position could muster. The resulting force was enough to give Penelope a head start as she began grappling against the rigidity of the warped springs.

"A little more!" Kayo stammered, her eyes squeezed shut as she used her elbows to force her end of the mattress into a slightly more horizontal position.

There was a collective thump as five bodies hastily rolled off the bed and onto the floor. After receiving visual confirmation that everyone had safely abandoned ship, Kayo motioned for Penelope to release her grip on the opposing end of the bed. No sooner had her colleague's manicured fingers let go, than the mattress slammed in half again with a deafening 'twang'.

As usual, Scott chose to make the entire situation about him.

"See? This is why I don't authorise hotel stays."

-x-

"Sorry for the sleeping arrangements," Penelope lowered her eyes in embarrassment, "I had originally intended to pre-book you all your own private rooms, however got distracted with some espionage paperwork before I left home. Can you find it in your hearts to forgive me?"

After seeing the state of the boy's mattress, Penelope had taken pity and invited them to come and bunk in her and Kayo's room. Due to the sheer lack of space, it had been unanimously agreed that they would all forgo sleep and remain awake until morning. The bed was available for anyone who was desperately tired, however the brothers seemed quite content to perch themselves around the room and chat.

"Of course we forgive you," Scott replied with his usual lopsided smile, "It's not like we haven't had worse sleeping arrangements."

Gordon visibly shuddered, "Like that time at Central Park Zoo."

Penelope smiled and went to fill the kettle, "I was going to use this trip as an opportunity to deliver my fourth and final masterclass, however I think the time has come for me to admit that I'm not exactly an authority on dating myself. I can tell you which spoon to use first at a formal dinner and which silk pantsuit is currently in vogue, but I'm afraid my knowledge is a bit rusty beyond that."

Alan cocked his head and shrugged, "Eh, we can all be lonely together."

Penelope frowned as she began dishing out teabags, "It looks like we're three short. Gordon? Would you be a dear and go and fetch the mugs from your room, please?"

A certain aquanaut was trotting out the door before Penelope had even finished speaking.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise for my earlier behaviour as well," Penelope carried on, "I don't usually drink outside of social events, however I do have a slight weakness for champagne. Especially when it's complimentary."

Scott and Virgil both threw their heads back and laughed like a pair of hyenas, "Don't panic. We've been known to overdo the beer sometimes."

"I should probably apologise as well," Kayo muttered, nursing the tea Penelope had just handed her, "I think I might have made some drunken comments about a few of you on the elevator ride up. John, I vaguely remember saying something about you having a nice ass."

Scott frowned over the rim of his own mug, his protective big brother instincts taking over, "Kayo, that's wrong."

A moment of tense silence followed, broken by Gordon re-entering the room with three mugs clasped in his hands.

Scott's blue eyes briefly studied his redheaded brother before returning to Kayo, "John's ass isn't nice."

Virgil let out a puff of relief at the humorous response, "Careful, Scott. Don't get started on who has the best physique, or else we'll be here until the end of the week."

"I'm afraid that honour has already been taken," Gordon bleated, "By yours truly."

Scott snorted and straightened his back against the wall he was leaning against, "Dream on, Gordster. Everyone knows Virgil takes the trophy for Best Tracy Tush."

Gordon's eyes widened in a silent challenge, "Nuh-uh! One of the journalists who I rescued from that sinkhole in Beijing last year wrote an entire article about how visually pleasing she found my backside to be. When it comes to the battle of the butts, I win hands down. Nothing tones the bum quite like twenty laps each morning."

John buried his face in his hands, "Can we talk about something else, please? I can hear my brain cells begging for their lives."

"What time is it?" Alan asked, aware that the sky outside was beginning to transition from black to grey.

"Half past five," Penelope replied, flicking her eyes over her compact mirror, "We can check out from eight o'clock onwards."

"Then we need to start packing," Scott instructed, draining the last of his tea, "We'll have to take turns using the shower. Who wants to go first?"

"Feel free to use ours," Kayo offered, stretching lazily, "Penny showered before bed and I had one before leaving home."

"Thanks," Virgil's smile of gratitude was about as wholesome as a homegrown carrot, "I call dibs on this shower. John, do you want to use the one in our room?"

"F.A.B," the redhead replied, hauling himself to his feet, "Scott, can you grab me the shampoo that's in the back pocket of our suitcase? I'm allergic to the complimentary stuff we've been given."

"Are there any cosmetic items that you're not allergic to?" Penelope queried, her tone showcasing her genuine curiosity.

John gave a reluctant nod.

"Blue hair dye. Don't ask."

-x-

Scott had no idea what evil force had made him agree to sharing a bathroom with two women.

Maybe it was lack of sleep, his selectively deaf shoulder devil, or delayed PTSD from the mattress incident.

"Kayo! I'm in the shower!" Gordon shrieked, clearly unimpressed with the way Shadow's pilot invited herself into the bathroom to search for her missing moisturiser.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Kayo gabbled as she groped around on the countertop, her eyes squeezed shut in a bid to protect Gordon's modesty, "I thought I'd packed it, but I can't find it anywhere."

"Can't you wait until I'm dry and decent?" Gordon hollered, his tone outraged.

Kayo cringed as she knocked her hip against the towel rail, "It's expensive stuff, and I don't want to leave it unattended with you lolloping around. Remember what happened to my night serum?"

There was a wet slap that sounded suspiciously like someone slipping in the shower tray, "I swear I thought it was tanning oil."

"You used it between your toes!" Kayo snapped, whirling to face the shower cubicle while keeping her eyes tightly closed, "And you never even bothered to buy me a fresh one."

"Geez, woman," Gordon squawked, "Can we continue this conversation when I'm fully clothed, please?"

Kayo gave a growl of frustration as she aborted her moisturiser search and fumbled her way back towards the safety of the bedroom.

"Has anyone seen my retainer?" John yelled across the hall, "I left it next to my antihistamines and it's now gone. It's in an orange case with my dentist's logo on the front and my initials on the bottom."

Penelope tilted her head and began to fold her pyjamas, "I think I saw something orange next to the sink when I was in the bathroom earlier. Try asking Gordon, he might be able to check for you."

A cacophony of angry mutterings followed John as he steamrolled into the girl's room and slammed his fist against the closed bathroom door, "Gordon! Have you got my retainer case in there?"

A loud sigh filtered through the lock, "What? No, I've only got mine. Orange with my dentist's logo on the front."

All the colour drained from John's face, "Gordon, your case is yellow. Mine is the orange one, remember?"

"Nuh-uh!" came the muffled response, "I lost my yellow case when we were on FAB 2. I had to order a new one, and the only colour left in stock was orange."

If possible, John's face paled even more.

"Y'know, I reckon my teeth are starting to shift," Gordon ploughed on, utterly oblivious, "I had a devil of a time trying to get both sets on last night, and my gums ache horribly this morning. I know I sometimes forget to wear the silly things, but I can't believe my teeth have moved that much in such a short space of time."

John felt dread engulf him like a tsunami. He'd had the very same problem the previous evening.

Yuck.

"Does anyone have any antibacterial mouthwash?" he asked, his voice significantly higher than usual.

Kayo shrugged and sat on her case in a futile attempt to close it, "Penny has some in her toiletry bag. It's in the bathroom though, so you'll have to wait until-"

There was a loud crash as John practically kicked the door down, his expression desperate as he ripped the bag in question open and started rummaging through its contents.

"What the-? John? Holy hell on a Thunderbird, can't a guy get some privacy!" Gordon howled, seizing a container of shower gel and lobbing it at his brother's head, "Out! Now!"

"You disgusting piece of sea trash," John snarled, rinsing his mouth out for all he was worth, "I accidentally wore your retainer last night."

There was a brief pause as Gordon digested the new information, "Wait, does that mean-"

"That you wore mine?" John replied, a look of epic revulsion stapled to his face, "Yes. Yes, it does."

"Oh…" Gordon forgot about his preoccupation with modesty long enough to screw up his face in disgust, "Ew."

In the adjoining bedroom, Kayo and Penelope snickered into their hands as Alan wandered in, towel at the ready.

"Ah, man! Is he still not finished?" the youngest whined, dumping himself on the bed and listening longingly to the humming of the running water, "I knew I should have gone in first."

Four meters and one plasterboard wall away, Gordon and John continued their heated exchange, oblivious to Alan's presence.

"Uh, John? Why are you still here?" Gordon asked, his tone suggesting that he didn't want to hear the answer.

"I need to brush my teeth," came the snapped reply, "We're leaving in half an hour and Scott's hogging the bathroom in our room."

"Dude!" Gordon cried, "I'm still donning my birthday suit over here. Give me five more minutes and I'll be out."

"Can't," John replied, "Toothpaste and toothbrush have met."

Outside, Alan nodded in agreement, "You have to commit once you've squeezed."

Gordon let out a groan of defeat, "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."

There was a brief moment of silence, during which the only audible sound was that of the shower water continuing to run.

"John, you can open your eyes," Gordon sighed, his tone resigned, "Seriously. It's not like we're not related or anything."

"Absolutely not," the redhead snarled, "I'm managing perfectly well, thank you very much."

"You just smeared toothpaste all over your neck," Gordon countered, "Just grow up and open your eyes already."

"No," John growled, his fist making contact with the countertop, "If I open my eyes I'll catch sight of you in the mirror. No disrespect, but I don't want your naked body embedded in my memory."

"Your loss," came Gordon's rather peppy reply, "To be honest, you might end up spying something even worse than my bare backside if you open your eyes."

"Elaborate," John ordered, rinsing his toothbrush.

"There's a massive zit on your forehead," Gordon divulged, "And I mean massive. We're talking volcano sized, bro. I recommend you take care of it before we're all caught in the eruption."

John frowned. He'd suffered from acne as a teenager, but had enjoyed relatively clear skin since his early twenties. His suspicion peaked when he realised that none of the others had made any similar comments. Surely Scott or Penelope would have mentioned something if it was really that bad?

It was no good. He had to check.

Turquoise eyes flicked open.

…

Alan jolted and dropped his towel as a high pitched scream blasted out of the bathroom and echoed around the bedroom. Two seconds later, the door crashed open and John fell out, slamming it shut behind him with a kick.

"Don't go in there!" the redhead warned, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he struggled to catch his breath, "He's naked!"

Alan gasped in mock horror, "No! Gordon? Naked? In the shower? Oh, what will he do next?"

John scowled and vaguely waved his hand, "Enough. I don't want to talk or even think about it. It was…oh, just forget it!"

Across the hall, Scott quirked a brow as he listened in on his brother trying to justify why he'd essentially just screamed like a fifties housewife. After hearing the words 'Gordon' and 'naked', he sighed and swiftly returned his attention to gelling his hair.

"And he honestly wonders why I don't invite him on family vacations anymore."