Chapter 60.

Tanusha Kyrano had yet to encounter a problem that pizza couldn't solve.

Unlike the boys, she wasn't prepared to waste precious time or energy pretending that she could cook. She was woman enough to admit that her culinary knowledge was about as non-existent as Gordon's ability to operate the dishwasher.

The collective lack of cookery knowledge on Tracy Island was almost laughable. If Scott ever decided to up and leave, malnutrition would probably become a very real threat. Five hundred years in the future, archaeologists would be scratching their heads over how an island full of billionaire adults had all somehow managed to perish from starvation.

Thankfully, Scott lived and breathed.

Scott, who would probably continue to smell good even in death.

Kayo scowled as she slid six takeaway pizza boxes onto the kitchen table. She had no clue what Scott used to make himself stink so deliciously, but she wanted to buy shares in whatever it was.

"Takeaway?" Gordon gasped, catapulting up from his chair as if he'd sat on a firework, "What's the occasion?"

Kayo shrugged and sashayed over to the fridge as if she owned it, "Penny hinted that it was my turn to cook, so I went and paid someone else to do it for me."

Predictably, that particular confession was met with hardcore approval from both Gordon and Alan.

"Not so fast," Virgil interjected, seizing Gordon by the bicep before he could faceplant the nearest pizza, "We haven't finished today's training exercise yet. Kayo, you wanna join in real quick?"

Shadow's pilot quirked a brow as she filled a glass with coconut water, "Experience says no, but curiosity says yes. What are you doing?"

"Trust falls," Virgil replied, motioning for Alan to cease his pizza seagulling, "I thought it would be a fun way of exercising our teamwork muscles. Why don't you go with Scott? He's almost dropped John twice, so could do with a bit more practise."

Kayo's eyes widened as Scott winked at her. Trying to look reluctant, she shuffled over and positioned herself in front of the fresh smelling eldest Tracy. Perhaps if she stuffed his pillow full of dog shit he'd revert to a slightly more normal level of attractiveness. It was about time Celery started earning her keep anyway.

Gordon visibly pouted when he saw Virgil and Alan and John and Penelope pair up, "Hey, no fair! Why doesn't anyone want to go with me?"

Virgil sighed and cast his eyes skyward, his expression alarmingly similar to that of a harassed mother, "Gordo, you've already dropped Alan once, Scott twice, and John three times. No offense, but your hand-eye coordination is a bit of a public health risk."

A huff climbed out of Gordon's nose as he prodded Virgil in the chest with a finger, dissatisfied with his answer, "How am I supposed to get better if you won't let me practice? And I didn't drop Scott twice! I caught him the second time…or most of him anyway."

Virgil let his shoulders slump in despair, "Alright, you can pair with me. Alan, go and divvy up the pizzas, would you?"

"F.A.B!" the youngest replied, grateful for any excuse to get away from the klutz his parents had named Gordon Cooper.

"Okay, on the count of three," Virgil instructed, closing his eyes and praying hard as he moved to stand in front of his aquatic brother, "One…two…three!"

Ding.

A crash which probably caused an earthquake in Taiwan reverberated around the kitchen as Virgil nearly went through the floor. On his left, Penelope whooped elegantly as John's hands looped underneath her arms and steadied her fall. Over on his right, Kayo stiffened in delight when Scott swooped forward to catch her, the motion allowing her to get an extra strong whiff of whatever the hell it was he was wearing.

Gordon, meanwhile, was busy fishing something out of the microwave, oblivious to the way Virgil was sprawled across the floor like a cheap throw rug.

"Waffles, anyone?" he asked, his concern for the wellbeing of Virgil's spine well disguised as he reached for the maple syrup, "Celery, here girly! If you sit for daddy, he might give you a tiny bit as a reward."

Virgil let out a wheeze of agony as Scott seized his wrists and hauled him to his feet. Gordon munched away on his sugary disaster for five straight seconds before realising his gaffe.

"Ah, sorry Virg!" he exclaimed with a wince, "Waffles go soggy if you leave them in the microwave for too long. Hey, I know something that'll cheer you up! Have you ever seen the world's funniest medical blunders? Some guy in Vermont swallowed his dentures, and when the doctors gave him an x-ray, his stomach was smiling back at them. Pretty funny, huh?"

Virgil didn't answer. He was too busy drawing up a mental list of all the creative ways he could dispose of his younger brother's body.

Kayo shook her head and accepted the plate of margherita slices Alan was offering her. John reached around her to grab his own plate, eyeballing Gordon as if he were a few peas short of a casserole.

Scott, meanwhile, was blasting around the kitchen at a billion miles an hour in typical Scott fashion, his arms full of drinking glasses and napkins. Clearly, pizza took precedence over the health of Virgil's skeleton.

"This is kind of nice," Alan commented, handing plates to Penelope and Gordon, "All of us just chilling together with pizza. Reminds me of the good old days."

Kayo nodded in agreement and tore off a sinfully delicious mouthful. Jeff had been right. There truly wasn't a problem on earth that pizza couldn't solve.

Eight minutes and twenty seven seconds later…

"You did that on purpose!" Kayo screeched, motioning furiously at the empty cardboard tray in front of her, "That was the last slice and you know margherita's my favourite! Don't you ever learn?"

Scott looked completely nonplussed as he ceased chewing the pizza in his mouth. The look on Kayo's face warned him that swallowing would be treated as a federal offense. Thankfully, the tension was broken somewhat by John's comm device beeping loudly, "Hello, John. It's EOS."

"Hello EOS," John greeted around a mouthful of crust, "Is something wrong? Do you need me to come back up? Please say yes."

The AI paused slightly before answering, "I'm not entirely sure how to articulate my predicament. All systems onboard Thunderbird Five are operating as normal, however my sensors have detected a massive dust bunny inside the main airlock. What should I do with it?"

Any remaining tension promptly vanished as Gordon, Alan, and Virgil threw their heads back and howled like a trio of hyenas. Even Penelope covered her mouth with her hand.

"Feed it some dust carrots and eject it," John replied, dragging a hand across his face as he helped himself to a second slice.

On the other side of the table, Scott had zero interest in history repeating itself. He was a grown man, the leader of International Rescue, and the primary heir of the legendary Jeff Tracy. Women and girls no longer held the same terrifying power that he'd assigned to them as a teenager.

"You're right, Kayo," Scott began, deploying his best dimpled smile, "I forgot to ask which one was your favourite. Ladies should always be offered first refusal and I momentarily forgot that rule. Please, accept this as a personal apology."

Kayo frowned as Scott dug around in his back pocket and handed her a newspaper clipping. Most media companies had ceased printing on paper decades ago, so her curiosity was instantly piqued.

"It's a job opening you might be interested in," Scott continued, his blue eyes sparkling with an indecipherable glimmer, "I'd be disappointed to see you leave International Rescue, but I understand that comfort is the enemy of knowledge. Give them a call and arrange a meetup. If things go well, I promise to give you a stellar reference."

Kayo's fingers rapidly began to unfold the clipping. The newspaper it had come from was probably older than she was, but as Grandma always said, 'Just because something's old, doesn't mean it can't be useful.'

Shadow's pilot felt her eyes narrow to slits and her blood bubble as she scanned the tiny slip of paper.

'Nunnery applications wanted for Ware Carmel Monastery. Please address all paper correspondence to Sister Beatrice.'

There was a brief pause as Kayo's face darkened to an interesting shade of puce.

Gordon opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off as a slice of pepperoni pizza suddenly flew past his ear and splattered all over Scott, smearing tomato puree all over his face and beloved head of hair.

Kayo barely had time to duck as a slice of veggie pizza came hurtling back towards her own face.

Meanwhile…

Parker chortled as he stretched out on one of the pool loungers, his eyes glued to the food fight that was unfolding inside the kitchen.

"What do you think, Bertie?" Parker asked, quirking a brow when Scott seized Kayo by the waist and forced an entire pizza crust down the back of her shirt, "Reckon they'll spare us all the trouble and just snog?"

Sherbert wrinkled his nose in distaste. He didn't approve of the way humans showed affection towards each other. The Yellow One would have much more luck with She Who Feeds if he deployed some canine charm and began peeing up trees to mark his territory. Unfortunately, his pearls of doggy wisdom had fallen on deaf ears, and The Yellow One continued to be unsuccessful in his attempts to woo She Who Feeds.

"Eh, wimps," Parker huffed, fishing a cigar out of his pocket. In the background, Tracy War Three continued to descend into the bowels of insanity, "Will you be joinin' me, your majesty?"

Sherbert yipped and wagged his tail.

Parker snickered and fished a second cigar out of his pocket.