Chapter 67.
Penelope was more than a little shocked when she came downstairs the following morning to find all five Tracy brothers strewn around the lounge.
She'd been roused in the early hours by Thunderbird One taking off, but had assumed it was just Scott getting deployed and had happily returned to her dreams of pugs and fine bone china.
She'd then been woken a short while later by a door slamming and muffled yelling. Upon poking her head into the corridor, she'd been met with the sight of Gordon bracing himself against Kayo's bedroom door. Kayo herself had been demanding to know why Scott had been dispatched and where he was headed. Gordon had gabbled something about it being none of her business and promptly slammed the door in her face. After several minutes of Kayo pulling and Gordon pushing, Kayo had surrendered, but not before giving the door a kick that had almost sent it careening off its hinges.
Penelope had chalked the display up to cabin fever and returned to her dreams of pugs and fine bone china. She was comfortable admitting that she didn't have a clue what was going on. Whatever it was obviously involved Kayo, but considering it was her birthday, she didn't give the matter too much thought. The boys no doubt had the situation well under control.
Or so she'd thought. The scene that greeted her as she surveyed the five sleeping bodies told a very different story.
Scott was curled up on one of the sofas, hugging a bouquet that contained some of the most ostentatious flowers Penelope had ever seen. She briefly considered waking him when she saw that his favourite blue shirt had gotten stained with lily pollen, but decided against it when he hugged the bouquet closer and let out an explosive snore.
Virgil was beached on the opposing sofa, his face buried in a cushion. A spectacular white, black, and red tiered cake was balanced rather precariously on the holotable, it's sweet scent mingling with the perfume of the lilies.
John was stretched out on the floor, his lanky frame pillowed by the softness of the rug. A magnificent black box was weakly clasped in one of his hands, and Penelope felt a gasp bubble up her diaphragm as she scanned the name emblazoned across the front. Cara Jewellers. Even Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward's collection lacked a piece from the renowned Middle Eastern jeweller, and that was saying something.
Gordon was sprawled next to John, his head propped up by a small mountain of cushions. On closer inspection, Penelope could see a set of car keys resting in the limp palm of his hand. A quick glance at the Aston Martin that was parked out by the pool was enough for her to put two and two together.
Most of Alan's torso was draped across the same sofa as Scott. A solid gold box of heavenly smelling truffles was open on the floor next to his feet. Penelope nodded in approval, however froze when she saw that one of the truffles had a large bite taken out of it. Her money was on Gordon.
"Scott?" Penelope whispered, "Scott? You need to wake up. It's Kayo's birthday."
A blue eye cracked open, but was swiftly closed again.
Penelope raised her voice a notch, "Scott? I'm serious, you all need to get up. Kayo will be down any minute and-"
The results were immediate.
Scott fell clean off the sofa, gasping in horror when he nearly landed on the priceless bunch of flowers he'd had cradled against his chest.
Virgil sprang up from his own sofa like someone had stuck a firework down his pants, eyes frantically scanning his cake for any imperfections.
John scrambled to his feet too quickly and paid for it with a brief bout of light-headedness, swearing loudly when he banged his knee against the edge of the holotable.
Gordon toppled off his pile of cushions and landed on his set of keys hard enough to unlock his new Aston Martin, the headlights flashing dramatically.
Alan swallowed his pride in one swift gulp and shamelessly dove behind Virgil for protection.
"Shit!" Scott cursed, tripping over his feet as he staggered in the general direction of the kitchen, "Alright, battle strategy. John, Gordon, go upstairs and ask Kayo what she wants for breakfast. Virgil, you're on kitchen duty with me. If we don't have the ingredients for whatever she wants, we'll offer Alan up as a sacrifice."
Sleep deprivation notwithstanding, brothers three and four both had the presence of mind to look appalled at Scott's suggestion.
"I'm not going up there," John spat, glowering at the staircase as if it were an extension of Kayo herself, "She'll butcher us and use our bones as spare parts for Thunderbird Shadow."
Gordon's head bobbed up and down in agreement.
"You're the one she likes," John continued, oblivious to the rapidly developing biohazard that was an uptight Scott, "You go and ask her."
A moment of silence descended, broken only by Alan's footsteps as he tried to tiptoe towards the safety of his bedroom.
Three seconds later, Virgil gave a shriek of outrage as Scott seized the top tier of his beloved cake and took aim at John's face.
-x-
"You ask her."
"No, you ask her."
"I asked first. You ask her."
"Yeah, well, I'm older. You ask her."
Kayo rolled over and glanced blearily at her watch. Eight-thirty in the morning.
So much for a birthday lie-in.
"Okay, on the count of three, we knock and then take cover behind the laundry basket before she opens the door."
"That is probably the stupidest idea I've ever heard, and that says a lot considering it came from you."
Kayo felt her eyes narrow in annoyance as the overlapping voices of John and Gordon filtered under her door and grated on her already frayed nerves.
"Okay, wise guy. Since I'm the only one coming up with any ideas, what do you suggest?"
A pause.
"We could slip a note under her door?"
"That is the dumbest idea I have ever…wait…that might actually work."
Kayo sighed as a small piece of paper was suddenly wedged under the door. Cursing profusely, she threw the covers off and stomped over to retrieve it, smirking inwardly when she heard the tell-tale sound of two Tracys running for their lives.
Esteemed colleague Tanusha 'Kayo' Kyrano,
We humbly ask for your guidance as to what you would like for your birthday breakfast. Scott and Virgil are downstairs awaiting your orders, both dressed in aprons that do their manly physiques no disservice. Kindly RSVP at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Gordon the Innocent and John the Blameless
Never one to turn away free food, Kayo fished out her phone and sent the desired RSVP in the form of a text to Scott.
'Pancakes with syrup and strawberries. Have them ready in ten."
Somewhere downstairs, a frying pan clattered loudly.
-x-
Penelope's eyes widened in shock as she surveyed the disaster that had once been Tracy Island's kitchen.
"I asked for strawberries, Virgil," Scott barked, his arms laden with bags of flour and boxes of eggs, "Not raspberries."
"We're out of strawberries. Gordon ate them all," Virgil calmly informed, "I'm sure Kayo won't notice the difference."
Scott's left eye twitched ever so slightly as he slammed the flour down onto the counter, the steam he was emitting sufficient to perm Virgil's hair.
"Syrup!" Scott hollered, glaring at his brothers like a chef harassing a team of waiters, "Someone grab me the syrup. Maybe if I just drown the entire stack she won't notice the lack of strawberries."
Gordon glanced down at the floor and traced a circle with the toe of his boat shoe, "Yeah, about that…we're kinda out of syrup too."
The look on Scott's face could have halted a train.
"But I can go and get some more," Gordon offered, bending to wrap a protective arm around Celery's neck, "If you let me use Thunderbird One, I could be back in-"
Virgil took that as his cue to intervene, "Don't push your luck, Gordo. Let's just leave Kayo's gifts in a pile and get the hell out of here before she comes down. And Scott? I'm fairly certain that's not how you make pancakes."
"Shut up," Scott snapped, whisking for all he was worth, "What do you know?"
Virgil remained neutral, "That most pancake recipes don't call for the addition of ketchup."
Scott blinked and glanced down, "Ah, crap. I thought I'd grabbed the bottle of sunflower oil. Why do they both have red caps? It makes them impossible to distinguish from each other!"
Penelope decided to take that as her cue to intervene, "Boys, I'm sure those pancakes will taste wonderful, but I have a rather urgent situation that I need to discuss with you. With all of you, in fact."
Five heads instinctively shot up.
Penelope cleared her throat, "The government official who's been helping Kayo with her recon in Argentina owns a polo yard and has kindly given me permission to organise a charity match in honour of her birthday. Unfortunately, one of the teams has reported an outbreak of equine flu at their stables and can't travel as a result. The local team is away at a match in Bolivia until next Friday, and I can't find a stand-in at such short notice."
"And?" Virgil probed.
Gordon felt his knees buckle as Penelope broke character and deployed one of her rare flirtatious smiles.
"How would you boys feel about being my replacements?"