Chapter 5
AN: Hey y'all, Riku here! Time for another adventure in Mini- me crazy town. Hope it's enjoyable, and as always, feel free to critique or suggest in the comments.
With Naruto and Kakashi, training grounds…
"Alright, Naruto, just channel your chakra into the paper and watch it crumple up into a ball!" Kakashi ordered cheerfully. A confused Naruto took the paper and let a small amount of his chakra into the square sheet. His confusion rose even more when it didn't 'crumple up into a ball' but shredded into six pieces.
"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, what's this mean again? I forgot what the paper's properties were." Naruto looked up sheepishly only to see Kakashi staring blankly at the paper shards whispering their way down to the earth, mocking the jonin the whole way.
Not a lightning affinity. They seemed to taunt the jonin.
"Sensei? Sensei are you alright?" The blonde worriedly waved a hand in front of his role model's lone eye. Kakashi blinked and came to his senses.
"Maa, of course I'm alright, my cute little student. The paper being cut so many times signifies you have a strong wind affinity; it's the rarest affinity in Konoha, actually." Silence rang out before Naruto did a fist bump in the air.
"Yatta! Take that, Sasuke- teme! I have something cool you don't- a rare affinity!"
"But!" Kakashi interrupted with a raised hand. "Seeing as wind is clearly less cool than lightning, we're going to say 'screw the test' and unleash your potential as a lighting jutsu master!" The jonin finished off way too cheerfully for the genin's- and the ANBU/ Hokage who were observing through the crystal ball in Sarutobi's office- liking.
"But sensei, I read in the books that you have to first complete your primary affinity before learning a secondary one?" The masked blonde asked the masked silver haired, who just chuckled.
"As my student you will learn that such petty expectations are beneath us 'hip and cool' shinobi. We get to pick our affinities, with some minor hardships" He whispered the last part. "Now, hold on tight!" Kakashi said before slugging a protesting Naruto over his shoulder. In a burst of speed they were off to God only knows where.
Hokage Tower, Minutes later…
Hiruzen Sarutobi had never witnessed such insane 'affinity pride' as he had just seen in one Kakashi Hatake. For one who knew jutsu from every element, the former ANBU captain was rather keen to force an incompatible elemental affinity into an untrained genin.
'This was not what I was expecting to see when I came in to find twenty of my best and brightest crowded around my orb.' The old kage thought. Resisting a face palm as the ANBU around him exchanged quiet bets over what Kakashi would do next, Sarutobi cleared his throat.
"Now, why don't we all realize that Kakashi is more than likely just playing a little prank on my surrogate grandson. There would be a better chance of hell freezing over than Kakashi trying something stupid with Naruto." Sarutobi assured everyone- and himself- closing his eyes and nodding.
"Um, sir, then why are they at the Lighting Cliffs and why is the orange menace- I mean Naruto- holding two lighting rods?" An ANBU asked sheepishly, pointing to perhaps the stupid 'training' scene anyone had ever seen. The Hokage's eyes popped open before he was instantly on his feet, giving rapid.
"Tiger! Boar! Cat! With me, everyone else on standby. We are going to stop Kakashi before he digs his own- and ours- grave!"
With Kakashi and Naruto, moments before at the infamous 'Lightning Cliffs"…
"Um, Kakashi- sensei, are you sure this will work?" Naruto asked, squinted eyes holding suspicion as he looked from the lightning rods- one in each hand- and the cliff above teaming with endless crackles of lightning.
"Maa, maa, Naruto; have some faith in your favorite sensei, ne?"
"But Iruka- sensei is my favorite!" Naruto retorted, defending the man who saved him from Mizuki and always gave him ramen. Never noticing how Kakashi's lone eye darkened, the genin was unaware of how complicated he just made his so called 'favorite' sensei's life.
'So you want to play it that way, eh, Iruka? Well perhaps it's time Kakashi here shows who is top dog.' Kakashi thought darkly.
With Iruka…
Dedicated academy teacher Iruka Umino had just spent his day in the most rewarding way possible- grading papers. Yes, the young scarred shinobi in question was not one to bemoan paper work but embrace it. His whole class being on a field trip to the Konoha berry fields left Iruka the alone time he needed to be productive…
Until an unbridled feeling of joy filled his core.
'Ah, perhaps one of my former students are thanking me for all I taught them' the academy chunin thought while sipping on tea…
Onlyto drop it on all the freshly graded papers as pure terror ripped through him.
'Who the hell did I piss off to be able to send me KI so far away? Perhaps a vacation to Iwa is in order if I'm getting this feeling I'm about to be murdered in my sleep here.'
Back With Naruto and Kakashi…
Neither teacher or student realized their affect on poor Iruka Umino and thus went on with operation: choose an affinity! Even if there was really only one willing party to the hair- brained scheme.
"So you want me, a new genin," Naruto started slowly while looking at the cliffs once more.
"Yes."
"To take these rods."
"Well the metal in kunai aren't as effective as chakra channeling metal, after all."
"And stand on the cliff, just waiting for lightning to hit me."
"That would be preferable to nothing happening."
"All so that I can get a lightning affinity in a way not even you're sure will work?"
"When you put it that way it does sound ludicrous. But! This is chakra infused lightning as the legends say, and you have super healing from your tenant! I'm sure this will work out."
"…" Was Naruto's dead panned response. He may be a knuckle headed shinobi, but he wasn't suicidal.
"If this works I'll teach you my signature lighting jutsu…" Naruto gave a still half suspicious squint. "…that will beat Sasuke's fire jutsu." Kakashi added into his offer, carrot dangling so tempting in front of the young genin.
"See you at the top, sensei!" Naruto shouted and used his newly acquired tree walking to race up the steep, awe inspiring cliff. After all, Naruto was a pre- teen age boy, and a genin, also known as 'the perfect combination to be easily bribed into doing Kakashi's bidding'.
With a chuckle at his apprentice's – future apprentice, he had to remind himself- antics, the copy cat ninja pulled out his favorite little orange book to pass the time before Naruto rewrote what was possible.
Five minutes later…
The now battle ready Hokage and three slightly panting ANBU arrive in time to see the completely insane Naruto Uzumaki- the only person holding back their worst nightmare- proudly lift duel chakra poles at an incoming bolt.
"No! Naruto!" Sarutobi shouted over the crackle as his surrogate grandson shouted:
"Yaaaattta" with all the force they could muster the new arrivals ran up the rocky side, not paying attention to the fact that Kakashi Hatake was doing the same exact thing, worry having won out at the last instant.
In the seal…
Kurama, the most dangerous- and awesome in his humble opinion- of the tailed beasts had been having a wonderful dream that involved him eating Madara and banning ramen for all eternity.
'Had been' was the key phrase as more voltage shot through his seal- leaving his hair sticking everywhere- than the time Asura and Indra separated the island of Waves using their new 'toy'- the legendary thunder bolt Kurama's father had crafted for them. Kurama had been sleeping peacefully in a cave for the week when those insufferable brats had 'accidentally' sent a spare blast into his temporary lair.
Kurama had never liked those humans.
Now though, the ancient being would have preferred such a shock compared to being woken up for the first time in almost a decade by his new container's stupidity.
I swear, Shukaku has it easy being sealed in those jars! Kurama thought grumpily as he glanced through the brat's memories, which only caused him to face paw.
Trying to gain a lighting affinity? What kind of baka thinks this is the way to do it! He thought, this time in utter disbelief. However, checking out the seal for weaknesses and feeling his container's chakra…
You have got to be shitting me. The blast not only made his seal stronger but this?!...I'm going back to sleep. Muttering about the unfairness of the world, Kurama the nine tailed fox rolled over in an attempt to find another comfortable sleeping position.
Back outside the seal…
Naruto groaned as he tried to sit up, but felt his Jiji's hand pushing him down.
"It's okay Naruto, you're alive- amazingly- so just rest." Sarutobi ordered kindly. Naruto's clothes were intact- Kakashi had only bought him the same clothes he used to wear, which were built for lighting users- and the burns were healing up.
Naruto nodded along. Kakashi arrived with an eye smile, ignoring the glares of the Hokage and the ANBU (even if theirs were hidden.). Walking confidently up to his student, Kakashi put a piece of chakra paper in his twitching hands, not commenting on the singed hair that had specks of white.
"Let's try this again" he ordered.
"Kakashi, you're lucky he's alive!"
"Senpai, that's not how this works you know!" The ANBU protested. They were silenced though by Naruto's paper crumbling up into a tight ball. Kakashi didn't comment but patted his student on the head and carried him off, telling the boy that Ichirakus was in his future for a job well done.
The ANBU and Hokage were sharing slack jawed looks. Boar moved to comment but felt Tenzo's hand on his shoulder, signifying to shut up.
"…I'm too old for this shit," Sarutobi muttered finally, and started walking home, pipe in hand.
And finally, with our lovable one-eyed war hawk…
"…. Well at least we know the weapon is seemingly unbreakable." Danzo said after a long pause when he received the report.
End! Hope this was a blast, I enjoyed writing it today!
Within the next couple of chapters they have their C rank, so let me know your preferences from the last chapter! The choices are:
Land of Waves (not the wave mission…)
Hidden Waterfall
Hidden Cloud
Moon Country
I know the way he got his affinity was ridiculous, but this isn't a really serious fan fiction… plus, it's kinda more like something that would happen to Naruto verses how Sasuke just beat him self into the ground to learn fire jutsu before training with it or learning what could arguably be his primary, lightning. For Naruto, gaining a primary lightning affinity (though still keep his wind) is just so…Naruto.
Kurama…honestly I just like messing with the poor fuzz ball in every fan fiction of mine, so I hope you enjoyed it.
Go check out 'Seals are Easy, People are Hard' for an excellent- and hilarious- read. Kakashi is turning Naruto into a gentlemen pervert in it so I think y'all will get a kick out of it.
Finally, have a great spring break everyone. See you next time!