Chapter 7
AN: Heya everyone! I'm back and ready to continue Naruto's adventures as a future apprentice to Konoha's second most eccentric jonin. Onto the wonderful hijinks of Kakashi's mini me!
Note: last chapter I accidentally made it sound like lighting replaced wind as Naruto's affinity; it didn't, it's now a duel main affinity. Of course in Kakashi's mind wind is the lesser secondary.
Ichiraku's ramen bar, forty minutes after 'Operation: Choose your affinity'…
When Teuchi Ichiraku welcomed his favorite customers arrive, the aged ramen chef repressed his shock. Kakashi Hatake, a boy he's seen go from stoic, to heartbroken to…eccentric currently, was giving the sky the middle finger while muttering something about the 'universe sucking it as his apprentice gained lighting super powers'. Next to him was Naruto in the rather fashionable get up he had taken to wearing since he became a genin, though Teuchi was sure lighting sparks and the white specks in his sunny blonde hair was new. Dutifully ignoring the fact that every bowl disappeared behind the masks, the ramen stand owner did what he always did and kept the bowls coming. After all, no matter the strangeness of the scene, Naruto alone would fund the way to his retirement, and one doesn't simply annoy their beach front mansion fund.
"Teuchi- jiji!" Naruto called after thirty minutes and twenty bowls meeting their maker in the Jinchuuriki's stomach. "Kakashi- sensei is paying, so can I have five bowls to go please?"
Meanwhile Kakashi Hatake felt his life saving draining into his apprentice to be's stomach and mentally cried as each ryo was handed over to a cackling ramen stand owner.
"I- I need to go lay down. Naruto, normal time tomorrow, okay?" The copy nin asked absently and disappeared in a swirl of leaves, bemoaning his choice to treat the legendary 'ramen vacuum' to dinner.
'Next time I'll just get Tenzo to pay; the man is rather gullible after all.' Kakashi chuckled darkly at his inner thoughts once he reached the safety of his apartment.
Meanwhile, Naruto started his toddle home with a bag of ramen and enlarged stomach. Waving to the gleeful ramen stand owner and Ayame, the genin never noticed the four ANBU surrounding him until he bumped into one.
"Hey Flamingo- teme" He said automatically at the sight of his arch nemesis in the corps, Flamingo. The two had been at odds since his childhood when he had 'accidentally' dumped orange sticky paint on the man on his first day in ANBU (also known as 'survive the Orange terror day' in the corps, not that Naruto was aware.).
"Bane of my existence" Flamingo bit out just as instinctively and the group fell into an awkward silence. The small crowd of ANBU started gathering attention so the agent cleared his throat. "Hokage- sama has ordered a full medical evaluation following your defiance of all that is good and natural this afternoon. Please come quietly." Unlike last time went unsaid.
Normal genin, heck normal shinobi, would tremble at the sight of four ANBU in a diamond formation around them, especially as one was holding a net (even there was a slight tremble in his hands).
"Oh yeah? Just try it; you couldn't even catch me in the academy! I ain't going to get a shot again!" Naruto, based on his bold proclamation, was not an ordinary shinobi. All the ANBU save for Flamingo flinched in remembrance last time Naruto was required to go to the hospital…
Despite outward appearances, Konoha had a vested interest in its Jinchuuriki being somewhat healthy. As such, yearly check ups and vaccines for various diseases and poisons (build up the resistance young, as Danzo proposed when asked why a six-year-old Naruto was given sixty times the lethal does for nightshade) were required. For the first few years, it was child's play to drag the screaming child to his two-day stint where he would receive a check up, shots, and a seal evaluation (of course he was unconscious for this part). The plan was to make Konoha's Jinchuuriki able to survive longer when assassination attempts inevitably happened. However, over the years it got increasingly difficult to impart the gift of immunity to the brat. Last year it turned into a ten day long evasion course by the child who ended up being captured by Iruka Umino and seventeen ANBU who needed fifteen times the lethal dose of sedatives to take him down for an hour.
The night the blonde terror was captured had been filled with cheers and alcohol at ANBU HQ. Now though, Flamingo wasn't sure his squad could beat the orange menace who could spam the use of shadow clones and tree walking with terrifying ease. No longer did they have that advantage over the brat, much to the ANBUs' ire. Hokage- sama insisted on giving Naruto the chance to be mature and head in willingly, hence the wait for Kakashi- baka (Flamingo's personal nickname for his old rival captain) to leave and a food coma induced Naruto to head out.
Too bad for the idealistic Hokage, but Kakashi Hatake was notorious for venemently hating all things medical, and had instructed his pupil on the art of 'evading the white coat- temes.'
"Catch me if you can!" The genin screamed as he switched with a random stranger using a kawarimi before a net could be placed. Flamingo's eye twitched while he began giving orders even as five hundred banes of his existence covered the streets.
"All units, after the menace! Do not let him reach the forest! I REPEAT: DO NOT LET HIM REACH THE FOREST!" The irate and hysterical captain barked into his head set.
"Sure, sure, cousin!" The one voice Flamingo didn't want to hear crackled over the radio waves. The Hyuga ANBU ripped his head set out and glared at his subordinates.
"Somebody, anybody: get me Iruka Umino. Something tells me he's our only hope."
"YES CAPTAIN!" Was the resounding reply.
With Iruka, moments before, at his apartment…
One Iruka Umino was finally settled down after settling his nerves from earlier. His mind was in turmoil as he sipped a fresh cup of tea.
'Man, I need a vacation if it took thirty minutes to calm myself from a 'feeling'. I'm a beloved academy teacher and Mizuki is in prison; who could possibly wish me harm?'
The oblivious instructor stretched his sore muscles when his friend Deer from ANBU suddenly crashed through the window like a married Icha Icha fan during that time of the month.
"AIIIIII!" Was Iruka's shrill reaction. Poising his now empty cup as a weapon, the chunin prepared to strike the imposter down, as Deer was extremely introverted.
"Nani?! Iruka- senpai, it's me, Haku Sadachi, your childhood friend!" Deer removed his mask just enough for his face to be shown. Indeed, Iruka's dear friend and kohai was staring back at him with terror filled eyes. Iruka sighed and set his tea cup down.
"Haku, what's wrong? Mice are generally louder than you!" Haku shifted from foot to foot.
"Well you see, it's about Naruto- san" Iruka was across the room and shaking Deer violently.
"What's happened? Is he hurt?! Did he get kidnapped?! Tell me now!" Deer turned green under his mask as Iruka continued the barrage of questions and held up his hands for mercy. "Oh, I apologize Haku, I get a tad overprotective about Naruto; please, proceed with telling me who I must kill."
Haku Sadachi wished his old senpai a pleasant life in hell as he described why Naruto must be captured quickly with a hidden sweat drop.
Ten minutes later….
"I'LL KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH! LET ME GO HAKU OR YOU'LL BECOME A CASULTY!" Iruka struggled against Deer's firm hand.
"Senpai, don't you think we should first bring Naruto- san in for a check up?" Deer asked, ever the voice of reason. That stopped Iruka cold.
"….Of course," Iruka said after a moment. "Let's go scoop up my wayward student."
"Excellent plan, Senpai."
"Then it's off with Kakashi's balls."
"…." Deer wisely chose not to answer and followed the legendary 'Orange menace tracker' as the scarred man was known in ANBU.
With Naruto…
Naruto cackled in glee as he evaded yet another ANBU with a net by switching with clones. Said clone created more Narutos while the original flooded five hundred more across the edge of the village. Running through the back streets, Naruto found himself in an abandoned part of Konoha that that itched of death from the Kyubi attack.
'Though cleaned up, I still get a creepy vibe from this place," Naruto shuddered at the barren ruins. A clone popping itself nearby to warn the original about advancing ANBU made him push forward, however, through an old ramen shop that had obviously seen better days. Going through the store, Naruto saw an open door off to the side with a cellar door.
"Hmm, what's this?" He mused aloud when it opened to a dark passageway before shrugging and doing what any preteen boy would do in a shinobi village; he entered it with zero regard for safety.
Twenty minutes of scurrying later, Naruto was having a blast peeking into the weird rooms that scattered the corridors, though he made a mental note to not go back to the one with severed heads on spikes.
"Hehe those losers will never find me now!" The Jinchuuriki boasted in the spirit of adventure only to turn a corner and crash into something solid. Gathering his bearings, the genin blinked and let his eyes go upwards.
And thus, Konoha's Jinchuuriki staring a confused Danzo Shimura in the eye.
'Something tells me I'm not supposed to be here.' The boy thought with trepidation.
END! That's a wrap folks. I hope all of y'all enjoyed it, as I loved writing it. A couple of things:
What will poor Naruto do, alone in a corridor with the most dangerous man (besides an Iruka in 'protect Naruto mode')? How will our Mini me survive?
ANBU's Mascot is ending next chapter so if you haven't already go check out the story and tell me what you think of it!
Go check out 'Sign Here For ANBU' by Zabzab. Their story is an awesome take on Naruto joining ANBU and I know y'all will love it.
Last time to give your imput on the first 'out of village' mission! Remember the options are:
Land of Waves (not the wave mission…)
Hidden Waterfall
Hidden Cloud
Moon Country
Finally, a HUGE SHOUTOUT to my BETA! I feel like a real writer, finally having an official beta. Go give Dragonfire987 a thank you in the reviews or PMs for their hard work helping me with this chapter. They're an amazing Beta.
Have a fantastic week everyone, I will be seeing you guys in the next update.