Chapter 9
AN: Welcome back! Riku here, ready for another adventure in complete hilarity. I know it's been awhile so let's get on with the story.
Note: Never will I ever own Naruto…unfortunately…
Last time on KMM….
"Yatta! Another mission!" Naruto cheered only to sober up slightly at Kakashi's reminder of 'hip and cool shinobi don't say yatta'.
"Ma, ma, calm down. Our mission is to deliver this" Kakashi holds up a scroll with an official Hokage seal, "To our spy master in the land of lightning. It's not time sensitive so we will be training on the way. Now, let's go before Iruka finds me- I mean notices Naruto left the hospital."
With happy smiles from all at the information of a mission and training, team seven set off, Kakashi resisting the urge to look behind him, knowing it would somehow summon that demon.
Oh, how Kakashi regretted underestimating his opponent for Naruto's 'favorite sensei'. No matter, Kakashi would return stronger and ready to smite the blight that was Iruka Umino. It was his new nindo. Amongst his thoughts was a dark chuckle at Danzo Shimura's current… predicament. Tenzo had promised to save him a private session with the basterd that attempted to steal his precious apprentice.
Some days, it was good to be a jonin.
On the way to the Land of Lightning…
Naruto was currently glaring at the leaf between his fingers. Kakashi- sensei had handed him a pouch with almost three hundred leaves from the village with instructions to make it crumble with just chakra.
So far Naruto managed to make his fiftieth leaf crumble instead of cut on the edges if one squished their eyes closed while under a genjutsu. He thought it was an obvious improvement from two days ago when they started out.
While Naruto was glaring at his leaf, Sakura was balancing a kunai in her palm for more chakra control.
Kakashi would have let her just read a book the entire time but his cute little apprentice insisted on 'being fair.' Kakashi would have rolled his eyes at the thought seeing as advanced chakra control wasn't technically in the 'required curriculum' for genin and Naruto was getting it only because he was to be Kakashi's clone. However, the faster he trained the other two genin, the faster they'd become chunin. The faster they became chunin, the faster he'd have Naruto all to himself.
That twisted logic was what led to him having Sasuke read a book on basic escape maneuvers that could be used in the chunin exams and would look impressive to proctors- enough to make him pass, hopefully. His genin would all be chunin their first try, Kakashi vowed. The next two exams were in Iwa and Kumo, respectfully, and the jonin doubted he'd be allowed to send his sensei's son and Jinchuuriki to a foreign nation for exams. Rarely ever did a Jinchuuriki go to another nation for their exams, it was basically a sure fire way to make your allies (read: potential enemies to slaughter mercilessly) be suspicious and send assassins after your village's resident Jinchuuriki. No, they would pass this exam- even Sakura- and Kakashi could rest easy knowing he gave the two non- apprentices a solid start to being loyal shinobi and kunoichi.
Naruto looked at his slightly smug looking sensei in concern.
'Why does he keep looking at all of us like trophies?' The blonde thought. However, his concern was forgotten when his leaf crumbled up into a tight ball.
"Sensei! Look, look! I did it, I did it! Yatta, I'm the BEST!" Naruto cheered. Kakashi sent a long suffering sigh at how uncool it was but gave his student an eye smile nonetheless.
"Maa, good work, Naruto. Now, just do that over and over."
"Ne, until when?" The boy questioned. Kakashi's eye smile grew a little cruel.
"Until your fingers bleed. Remember, the bloodiest shinobi is the strongest shinobi!" Kakashi quipped. Sakura gulped with Naruto.
"Hn. The Uchiha clan doesn't do bloody." Sasuke scoffed, remembering how his father would always lecture on staying clean while slaughtering the masses (enemy masses, of course). It was tradition, even Itachi was hardly bloody after killing everyone, an impressive feat Sasuke had to admit.
"Neither does the Haruno clan." Sakura added.
"Um, Sakura- chan… there is no Haruno clan" Naruto pointed out, remembering his text book on the known clans.
"…There is now, Naruto- baka." Sakura replied dangerously. Naruto wisely shut up and reached for another leaf. However, the group was walking by a shrine for the local fox deity. Naruto, being Naruto, set off a series of events by one stupid decision.
"There you go!" He cheered after setting a ramen cup in the offering box and wiping off the lid. The blonde figured Kurama would appreciate him feeding the fox spirits.
As Kakashi rolled his and the group continued their journey, none noticed the pair of fox eyes that peered from the bushes at the boy who smelled of foxes.
The next morning…
Kakashi knew sleeping in the wild so close to the border with Lightning was a terrible idea, so he did the only thing an awesome sensei such as himself could do: he footed the bill for a hotel room…well two rooms, no way was he sharing a sleeping space with three genin, sensei's son or not. So, with an eye smile and threats to behave, Kakashi went to his private room and relaxed for the evening, completely expecting the morning to be uneventful.
Oh, how wrong he was. When his team met on the road to continue their journey, his precious little apprentice had betrayed him. For a FOX!
There, sitting smugly on his sensei's son's shoulders was a black fox with red eyes. Idly Kakashi noticed Sasuke was nursing his hand and inching away from the creature.
"Kakashi- sensei! Look, I got a summons!" Naruto bragged, twisting the knife of treachery deeper into Kakashi's heart.
"NOOO!" Kakashi shouted to the heavens. "WHY DOES HE NEVER GET THE DOG CONTRACT?!"
Three confused genin and an annoyed fox looked at him and Kakashi cleared his throat.
"Hmm, Naruto. Let's have a little chat. Just the two of us, okay?"
Once they were alone in a nearby forest, Kakashi gave his apprentice to be a hard look.
"The fox. Explain. Now."
"Ehehe" Naruto scratched his mask nervously. "See, it started like this…"
Previous night, with Naruto…
After his teammates fell asleep, Sakura trying to snuggle with Sasuke, Naruto left the stuffy hotel room for the cool night air. The moon was full and the lush forest around him felt like home.
"Pssh, kid." A voice called from a bush. Naruto jumped up, scared out of his wits. "HAH! What a scardy kit, who would have guessed you'd be Kurama- sama's vessel."
"You know about Kurama?" Naruto blurted out to the disembodied voice before realizing his mistake. "I- I mean, mah, who cares about Kurama, why are you here?" He finished lamely. Apparently his Kakashi channeling powers were ineffective at night. The voice seemed to sweat drop.
"Yeah sure, kid. Anyways, I watched you put that divine food into our collection box today."
"Yeah, ramen is divine" Naruto drooled. "Wait, you saw that?!"
"Of course!" The voice boasted.
"Well fine, now who are you? I'm Naruto Uzumaki." The voice scoffed and started circling him.
"Who me? I am the darkness of the clan, the best at all things AWESOME! I'm the one humans fear and foxes envy! I'm the president of the 'Kurama Fan Club' and most amazing tracker ever! Who am I? Kuro- sama the Cool!"
Out jumped a cat sized fox who carried a smirk. Naruto blinked, taking in the black fur, white paws, and red eyes.
Before falling on the ground laughing. Kuro seemed to take offense to that and bit his ear.
"Oi! Shut up, I'll have you know I'm the son of the chief."
"Sorry, sorry. Just…why are you here?"
"Heh, glad you asked! I have a proposition for you…" Kuro began.
Back to the present…
"And then he let me sign the fox contract! I'm like the third summoner EVER, is that cool? Even if their initiation test was really difficult." Naruto finished. Kakashi face palmed at this ludicrous explanation, finding the irony that the fox clan was as obsessed with ramen as his student not amusing since the boy signed the contract. It wasn't fair, he reasoned. His apprentice should summon dogs, not foxes.
Wait, a shinobi could have two contracts. And if Naruto ended up favoring the clearly superior Dog Contract? Well, all the better.
"Naruto, could you go grab that stick on the other side of the clearing for me?"
"Maa, sure sensei!" Naruto chirped in as cool of a voice as he could, walking somewhat lazily away.
Kakashi was so proud.
"Ne, Kuro" He drawled when they were alone (swiping the fox off his student was child's play).
"That's Kuro- sama to you commoner."
"…I could kill you before you could blink."
"Kuro is fine!"
"Glad we agree. Now, Kuro, please leave. I know you are feeding off of Naruto's chakra. Now be a good summons and poof away." Kakashi said with a vindictive (if hidden) smirk. Kuro sputtered but a flare of Kakashi's chakra made the creature whimper and disappear with a huff and promises of revenge.
"Hey, where'd Kuro go?" Naruto asked when he returned with a random stick. Kakashi chuckled.
"Oh, the… precious creature… had things to do!" The one eyed jonin lied. Naruto tilted his head suspiciously before shrugging.
"Alright, ready to go?" He asked. With a gleam in his eye, Kakashi pulled out a scroll he had been planning to save for the chunin exams.
"Wait, Naruto; I have a little gift for you."
"Huh?" Was his intelligent reply.
On the road once more…
And that's how Kakashi successfully completed another checked box on his Mini me plan. Naruto was now the proud owner of the Dog Contract and had Pakkun's youngest on his head.
Unlike most clans, the Dog Contract was not connected to every summon in their species, but rather smaller packs, each holding thirty to forty canines at any one time. Kakashi- and now Naruto- was affiliated with Pakkun's pack and would have access to any of the adults in the pack, even if Kakashi himself only summoned the same elite few. Naruto was being primed for the next generation.
If the pup would stop letting the puppy chew on the white strands in his hair like a pansy that is.
'Oh well, he can learn to be the boss of them after the mission I suppose' Kakashi lamented.
Sasuke looked absolutely livid at the idea that the former 'dobe' had two summoning contracts, but Kakashi quickly corrected that by dangling a fire dragon jutsu scroll in front of the avenger. It would take the boy weeks to learn and thus out of Kakashi's hair, as it should be. Sakura looked miffed at not getting something so Kakashi just had to part ways with an easy genjutsu scroll. It would be enough to get them through the exams, hopefully.
Oh the things he did for the ungrateful brats.
"Hey! We're here!" Naruto shouted, pointing at the hot spring they were supposed to be meeting the spy master at. The blonde was excited and didn't even notice when the puppy puked in his hair from motion sickness.
"Tsk, no need to shout. Now let's get this over with." Sasuke ordered.
"Maa, why don't you three go eat lunch in town, ne? I'll go to the meeting and we can leave within an hour."
"You don't want us there, sensei?" Naruto asked, down trodden. Sakura shared his expression and Kakashi began to sweat.
"No, but it's boring. Now shoo." He replied. How could he tell them that Jiraiya was the spy master and no doubt would want to meet Naruto? No way in hell, not if Kakashi had something to say about it. The literary genius would probably try to pass on the Toad Contract and make the boy his apprentice. Jiraiya wrote genius literature, and Kakashi would hate to have to kill the man.
Nobody messed with his apprentice. Nobody!
"Oh… alright. Let's go guys" Sakura relented and led her teammates away, Naruto suggesting ramen.
Meanwhile, in the seal…
Kurama banged his head against his cage's wall in outrage. How dare that disgusting group of half wits trick his moronic container into signing the contract!
'I should have killed them when I had the chance!' The Kyubi chastised himself, hating that he showed mercy all those centuries ago.
Less than a hundred years after Kurama was unsealed from his father, a group of fox kits stumbled into his napping place. Normally Kurama would have eaten them, but the kits called him 'Kurama- sama' and worshiped him. It was nice after being alone and grieving, so in his infinite wisdom he taught them about chakra and how to speak human.
Then they never wanted to leave. The first batch of the foxes were cute. The twentieth? Not so much. But, Kurama couldn't just kill them, it was too evil. So, he snuck out like a coward one night and ran to the other side of the continent.
Since then, they've spread like viruses. No matter how many he killed or threatened, they just kept popping up everywhere! When Mito sealed him, he thought he was free as her status was secret. It was the only good thing about being sealed like his pathetic siblings.
Until now. Now, his idiotic container became their summoner and friends with his fan club's PRESIDENT! It was an outcry.
'Time to try to talk Naruto into slaughtering them. Yeah, maybe killing them at their source would work.'
Contented, Kurama curled up for another nap.
Back outside, with Kakashi…
After his genin left, the jonin strolled into the hot spring's bar and ordered the 'Gama special' as was the code. The bar tender gave a subtle nod and soon Jiraiya was sitting next to him. Strangely enough all the patrons left.
"Jiraiya- sama" Kakashi lifted his glass. Jiraiya grinned, his wort seeming to be bigger than Kakashi remembered.
"Oi, brat! Sensei didn't tell me your team would be the messenger. Where's the kids, I've been meaning to meet my godson!" The sannin inquired. Kakashi lazily slid the scroll he'd been protecting over.
"They're…occupied and we're on a schedule."
"Nonsense! I'll even pay for your team to sleep at the hot spring for the night. Heh, perhaps he could start summoning, or the Rasangan."
"Absolutely not! He's my apprentice and as such I'll be teaching him the Rasangan." Kakashi bit back, affronted.
"Now you listen here brat, there's an organization called" Jiraiya started before he was cut off.
"KAKASHI- SENSEI! HELLLP" Team Seven shouted as one as they bolted into the restaurant as one. "A SHARK GUY TRIED TO EAT US". All three sported minor wounds, Naruto having yellow colored hands.
Kakashi was alert and was about to order them to calm down and tell him exactly what happened.
But then Kisame Hoshigaki, notorious S- ranked criminal, appeared in the doorway with different colored paints on his strange cult like robe. The red clouds were a nice touch though, Kakashi admitted.
"Nobody pranks Kisame and lives! NOBODY! Now come here and die like MEN!"
'Of course Naruto would prank an S- class nin; of course.'
END! Soo, how was it? How will they survive Kisame, and where's Itachi? Tune in next time!
1. I need a name for Pakkun's pup and any other dog breeds y'all might want Naruto to have. He'll still summon Pakkun but he needs his own pack of Mini me dogs.
2. Go read 'The Somewhat Cracked mind of Itachi Uchiha' to laugh hard enough to cry. I love that story and think y'all will too!
3. Finally, I started a new story 'From the Afterlife to the Past life' and am about to work on the second chapter. I hope y'all check it out!
Have an absolutely AMAZING week!
-Riku.