Chapter 10
AN: Heyo everyone, your girl Riku is back! I'm here to bring you giggles and chiggles, belly aches and… head aches? I don't know, just read!
Shout out to 'Emrys Akayuki' for her contribution for Pakkun Jr's name!
PS… Go read 'Hell Cat' by 'TheDeadGirlRisen'. It has Tora using Biju chakra…and getting Naruto to call it master…and meeting the Kyubi at five. It's freaking hilarious and I love it.
Minutes before Kisame barges in the bar…
Naruto dragged his disgruntled teammates through the town, following the faint scent of ramen in the air.
"Naruto, stop! You're making Pakkumi sick." Sakura chided, and sure enough the tiny pug was green once more and threatened to hurl. Naruto skidded to a stop and held up the girl puppy.
"Maa, sorry Pakkumi- chan. Let's be hip and cool as we search for the heavenly food." Pakkumi pants and wags her little tail, drawing coos from Sakura and an eye smile from Sakura. Sasuke rolls his eyes.
"Let's just get food and leave." With that Naruto slouches and continues walking, channeling his 'Kakashi powers' to the max.
"Hmm, you say something?" He asks while flipping out his book. Sasuke grows a tick.
"Don't change personalities! I know you heard me dobe!"
"Tsk, tsk, Sasuke- chan, don't insult your elders."
"I'm over six months older than you" Sasuke dead panned.
"Details, details." Naruto waved his hand flippantly. Following his nose, the trio plus ninkin arrived to one of the top ramen stands in the world, ranked fifth in overall ranking.
Naruto was not ashamed to admit he'd been hoping for a mission in the area just to taste such divine flavors. Only to stop at the horrid sight in front him.
The stand, that was supposed to be full of over five hundred flavors, was closed.
SOLD OUT: COME BACK TOMORROW.
'S- s- sold out?! HOW IS THE HEAVENLY DISH ALL GONE?!' Naruto screamed mentally. A lone worker was sweeping the porch area and looked up with a gulp when a large wave of killing intent was aimed directly at him.
"S- Sir?" The poor worker, a man no older than eighteen who stayed a civilian for safety, asked. "I apologize if this is an inconvenience; a rather large man who looked like a shark came in and ate every last bowl! And the tip was most generous. Do not worry, though, if you like I could reserve you a bowl tomorrow?"
Naruto felt his eyes flash red and Pakkumi started growling at the man. Sakura backed away as the oppressive aura filled the air, though Sasuke was too busy looking ahead.
"Hn. Dobe, isn't that the man?" He said with a smirk, figuring he could use some entertainment. The last time someone ate Ichiraku out of stock before Naruto got there… they were still in the psych ward despite the fact the boy was only six at the time.
'This should be amusing.'
Naruto whipped his head up at the man who dared to get between him and one of his dreams. Stalking over to the man with intent, he shoved his finger in his face.
"Yo! Are you the basterd who took my Ramen- sama? Well, are you?" Naruto accused.
Kisame blinked in surprise at the shrimp in front of him that clearly needed to learn face masks were so last war. Normally, Kisame would kill the brat for such insolence, but doing so on a mission and in a public spot would bring trouble, especially as the brat was a Konoha shinobi. So, Kisame channeled all his powers of patience learned from babysitting missions (well, the ones he didn't 'accidentally' drop the tikes off the side of a cliff, that is) and just scoffed.
"Yeah, so? The place was cheaper than most others here. Even if it was subpar to sushi."
"…" Naruto looked like he had the blood sucked out of him and Kisame used that time to smirk and walk away. Truthfully the ramen was delicious but messing with the brat- obviously a genin- was what made getting up in the morning worth it.
Naruto wasn't one to let such…such… such evil get away though! In a flurry of motion he pulled out a scroll and unsealed his entire paint balloon collection.
All one hundred of them.
Next, Naruto forced some in his teammates' hands, who reluctantly agreed simply because it was easier to join Naruto that resist. In a silent count down, Team Seven flung the balloons infused with chakra and paint at the unsuspecting Kisame that was just too tired and full of his feast to pay attention to what genin were doing.
Suddenly, Kisame's back side was full of yellow, pink, and brown paint. He whipped around with his sword drawn, only to get hit again in the front by over fifty rapid fire balloons.
"HAH! Looser, that will show you not to insult Ramen- sama!" Naruto crowed. Kisame lost his cool at the blonde and white boy and his lackies in front of him.
"YOU BRATS! Prepare to die!" Kisame shouted and flung a water dragon at the genin. Unfortunately, the heathens dodged and ran the opposite way. With a battle cry, Kisame chased them, intent on destroying such vile creatures.
Back to where we left our hero…
Kakashi was instantly in battle mode and pushed his genin behind him protectively. Naruto, now sure he was invincible with his sensei around, gave Kisame the finger.
"Nah, nah, maybe if you weren't such a pansy who hated Ramen- sama, I wouldn't have had to throw paint at you!" Naruto mocked. Kakashi felt his eye twitch at his apprentice; did he want them to die?
Judging from the boy's taunting, Kakashi was convinced that was exactly what Naruto wanted.
"Kisame Hoshigaki… the Bijuu without a tail." Kakashi states lazily, hand already on his headband and ready to be lifted. Jiraiya smirked.
"Oi, you're one of the Akatsuki, right?" Kisame stiffened then grinned back.
"And what if I am? You're one of the Sanin… I'll enjoy feeding your chakra to my sword, Samehada."
Silence followed for three seconds. The air became thick as three S class shinobi flared their chakra. Suddenly, the genin were safely in the mouth of a toad as Jiraiya met Kisame's sword with his wrist plate.
"Grr. You're pretty quick for an old man." Kisame growled as Jiraiya felt his chakra get sucked out. Kisame jumped back and through the wall as Kakashi pushed a Raikiri towards his side. The tree landed outside and met Kakashi's next attack with a bored yawn. "You don't know how lucky you are. If I wanted to, you two would have been dead before you could form a hand sign." Jiraiya summoned a toad and engaged the nuke nin in taijutsu.
"Hmm, you say something?" Kakashi asked despite his apprehension. They had to be careful, as fighting in a foreign country in the middle of the street… was potentially dicey political wise. Kisame grew a tick mark and kicked the jonin away.
"Tell me where that blondie is so I can kill him, and I MIGHT let you live!" The shark man demanded.
"Nope."
"Where is he?!"
"Somewhere safe."
With Naruto…
When yanked inside a toad that dispels, one does not think to end up in a cushy hotel room.
"Um… where are we?" Sakura asked after the three blinked away their surprise of being eaten.
"Hmm…" Naruto rubbed his chin and gave an eye smile. His teammates leaned in. "I… have no idea!"
Cue Sakura pummeling him. "Naruto, you baka! Stop goofing around, cha!"
"R- right, Sakura- chan." An explosion sounded outside and the three had to steady themselves with chakra. Pakkumi was shaking. "Ne, Pakkumi- chan, go back, alright?" Naruto petted the pup on his head who gladly dispelled.
"Hn. Kakashi is fighting that way, let's go."
"Are you insane Sasuke? That guy looked really strong! And he was able to use a water dragon without water nearby."
"I need strong opponents, to beat him…" Sasuke clenched his fists. Naruto looked worried but gulped.
"Sasuke's right… we can't leave sensei and that weird white haired guy who summoned the toad to fight fish face alone. Come on, we can take him."
"With what? We barely know jutsu." Sakura pointed out. In response the blonde had a wicked gleam in his eye.
"Now, now, my dear Sakura. That won't be a problem."
Back with Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Kisame…
Kisame was having a blast, sending out random jutsu and tearing into the two S- classers who dare keep him from his revenge. His only regret was that Itachi was too busy to be there with him. The man had suddenly run out of pocky when they arrived in the town.
With Itachi…
Said man was calmly eating his large horde of pocky at a safe distance outside town. When he and Kisame had arrived, his 'Orange menace' senses went haywire. So, like the fantastic shinobi Itachi was, he ran away in a dignified manner.
"Hn. I wonder what my foolish little brother is doing? I hear he got teamed up…with the Orange menace… shoot! Don't worry Sasuke, I'm coming!" And thus the teen raced back to town, deciding that no matter how much he wanted to run away from Naruto on a prank war (that would hopefully result in either his or Kisame's death), his brother could not get caught in the crossfires.
Back to the fight…
"HAH! The weak are meat, the strong eat!" Kisame taunted. Kakashi had a deep gash on his arm and minor chakra exhaustion. Jiraiya wouldn't let them retreat as the idiot wanted to question the man about the Akatsuki.
Oh how Kakashi was tempted to abandon his morals and run towards his students.
The trio stood at a standstill on top of a now abandoned house, when Kisame was engulfed in orange smoke. Kakashi was glad his mask hid his smirk as the shark nin coughed. The problem with shinobi honing their danger senses was that Naruto's pranks didn't seem harmful. In fact Naruto could rig up a poison filled trap that would make you sterile while whistling a tune. So when Naruto activated a very complex trap in the middle of battle?
Kisame never saw it coming. The shark nin set his sword on the ground like he always did and tried to wipe the vile substance off his face while trying to use chakra to move through a sticky substance that adhered his feet to the roof.
"Yatta! What a cool sword. Can I have it? Thanks!" Naruto grinned as he popped up next to Kisame and darted away with the sword. Kisame mentally smirked as he was finally free and mostly clean, knowing that his awesome partner of a sword would destroy the gaki who dare touch Samehada.
Only to gape when the sword purred at the blonde and white.
"Oi! Give me back my sword!" Kisame jumped towards the blonde even as the sanin and Kakashi tried to get there first. A fire ball from Sasuke blocked his path momentarily and when it cleared, Itachi was in front of his target, a knocked out Sasuke and Sakura by his feet. They were not needed in this conversation.
"Kisame, what are you doing attacking the Jinchuuriki before its time?" Itachi asked in a slightly annoyed tone. Kisame gulped when his partner flashed his Sharingan.
"That brat pranked me and stole my sword! He's gotta die." The Shark nin defended. Itachi suppressed a sigh at how complicated Naruto made things.
"Naruto." Itachi sighed and turned to Naruto. Said boy tilted his head. "Give Kisame, my partner and very strong shinobi, back his sword and apologize."
"B- but it's mine! I stole it and it's mine, that's the rules!" Naruto cried. With an eye twitch Itachi threw the boy an Ichiraku coupon, left over from the days Naruto would try to prank him in the ANBU (failed, of course) and Itachi wanted him out of his hair.
"Give Kisame the sword and this coupon for five bowls is yours." Instantly the sword was back in the slack jawed Kisame's hands and Itachi was relieved of the coupon. "Let's go, Kisame; I tire of these weaklings."
"Wait! You're not going anywhere." Kakashi suddenly spoke after getting over his stupor. The copy nin always took it as his duty to stop his ex underling. Jiraiya sent a toad tounge to entrap him, laced with sedatives.
Unfortunately for him, Itachi burned the tounge before it reached him as he and Kisame disappeared in a murder of crows.
"Uhh, am I in trouble?" Naruto asked as he looked around at the wrecked town below.
"No, Naruto, you're not. Grab Sakura and let's go. We need to get over the border before Kumo sends an investigation team." Kakashi sighed as he picked up the Uchiha. Jiraiya was ready to speak but Kakashi silenced him with a glare that reeked of 'don't waste our time, we have to high tail it out of here'. J
iraiya then gave a goofy grin and proceeded to still talk.
"I need to talk to sensei anyways; I'll go with you back to Konoha."
"Hmm who are you?" Naruto squinted his eyes suspiciously.
"Who am I?! Well, let me tell you! I'm"
"Yo! I felt crazy chakra that went kaboom! And now I'm here as your doom. Fool, ya fool!" Cut the sannin off before he could begin. Landing nearby was someone nobody wished to meet in battle.
Kirabi 'Killer B' of Kumo, the Hachibi Jinchuuriki.
"This day just got worse, hasn't it?" A suddenly conscious Sasuke groaned.
Kakashi was inclined to agree.
Finally, on the road with Itachi and Kisame…
"We could have taken the brat there! Think about it Itachi, I could have diced his legs off as punishment and then we would be done with our assignment." Kisame complained. He refused to look at his sword, who seemed to think the gaki should become his apprentice and future wielder.
Never mind the kid had to die for their goals. Even if his chakra and spunk made Kisame wish the kid wasn't a Jinchuuriki.
"Hn. No, we will capture the Kyubi Jinchuuriki when Leader- sama says its time; no sooner. It would not do to tip off Konoha" More than I already have "Before we are ready. Now come, there is a job for us. You'll like it, it has lots of fighting." Itachi dangled the temptation and his partner took it.
"Heh, then what are we waiting for?! Those Konoha shinobi were weak, I need a real fight."
With that, two criminals walked into the sunset, ignoring the spike of Bijuu chakra in the town and various explosions. It was just another Tuesday in their profession.
End! Next chapter: end of the mission and back in Konoha! Or will they even get back with Killer B in the mix? A couple of things:
Big thanks to my beta 'Dragon' for the great ideas, and my bff Silver Wolf310. Also, 'TheDeadGirlRisen' has become a good friend and she has helped with some of the ideas for this chapter!
I really like the ideas for Naruto's dogs. One more chapter to give suggestions before it's set!
Pranks… honestly, there is so much potential in Naruto's pranks. He's trying to be like Kakashi, but when a simple prank and help stop an S- class shinobi, why not use it?
Finally, the Samehada part… Deadgirlrisen had that idea and I love it. I'm going to have that little plot point come up one last time and it was a joy to think that actually happening…especially since yet another person might want to take his Mini- me away.
Anyways, have a FANTASTIC week. Don't forget to check out 'Hell cat' and 'Akuma- sensei' by Deadgirlrisen' for laughs.
-Riku