Chapter 14
AN: Welcome back my lovely readers! I have to say I never expected the bulk of the reviews for chapter thirteen being a variation of 'omg please give Naruto the Sharingan!' Honestly… I had the last part of thirteen as a joke because I thought people would say 'nah, no Sharingan' but I've underestimated y'all's love of crack ideas! Sooo… will Naruto get the Sharingan? Well, let us commence with the story and find out!
Previously on KMM….
"Maa, my cute little apprentice to be! Don't you want to be just like me? Besides, eye surgery barely hurts!" Kakashi half pleaded, half ordered. He pulled his (future) apprentice, trying to dislodge the boy from his doorway.
"NO! NO HOSPITALS! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" The blond Jinchuuriki screamed before squirming away and running faster than most jonin.
'I've taught him too well' Kakashi thought in pride before remembering that stage three of his Mini-Me plan had to be implemented and let the hunt begin for his ungrateful apprentice to be.
Who didn't want to have eye surgery to get Shisui Uchiha's old eye, and thus becoming copy ninja junior?!
With Naruto, somewhere in the village…
Naruto Uzumaki was what one would call a 'selective genius'. No, he couldn't do complicated shuriken mathematics, nor could he recite Shinobi law; his strengths lied elsewhere. When the situation called for it, Naruto was able to outsmart the geniuses of old, proving that book smart didn't always mean victory, especially when the topic in question was 'evasion to save one's own life'. In that topic, Naruto Uzumaki, insane blond Jinchuuriki and apprentice (to be) of Kakashi Hatake, excelled like none other.
"You'll never catch me alive, Kakashi-sensei!" Said insane blond shinobi bellowed while roof hopping.
"Just stop running, Naruto, you know I'll get you eventually! Don't you want to be just like me? I could even teach you the Chidori for the exams! It's just one night in the hospital, nothing bad." Kakashi called out sweetly.
Naruto paled and dodged another round of shuriken laced with sedatives mid-jump and summoned his best friend at the moment. "Kuro, I choose you!" The black fox appeared in a huff.
"I told you, it's KURO-SAMA and I chose you! You may contain the great Kurama-sama, but I'm ahead of you in the fan club," the fox summons griped even as he called for the Kurama-sama protection squad. These elite fighters had been assembling for centuries to protect their lord and master, and now were expected to ensure the vessel of their lord was protected at all cost… even when the one attacking was an insane Kakashi Hatake and his ninken.
"Er…eh hehe, sorry Kuro-sama but this isn't really the time! Kakashi-sensei went insane and now wants me to go to the hospital!" Naruto cried and jumped over a civilian food cart, not looking back when it crashes to pieces!
"M-my cabbages!" Was heard across the village of Konoha that day, full of grief and anger.
"Fine. Kurama-sama protection squad, unite!" Kuro ordered, and five beefy foxes of unusual sizes created a barrier between Naruto and the psychotic Kakashi.
"Summoning Jutsu!" Kakashi shouted out, his ninken tackling the foxes. The larger beings grunted and snarled, throwing the mutts off them.
Jutsu flied, Naruto cried, and some roofs caved in. All in all, Konoha was becoming a war zone. Before five minutes passed every summon animal was dispelled and Kakashi needed a chakra pill.
Soon the ANBU would get involved, and that was something Kakashi couldn't allow. Well, it was more like he couldn't let the goody two-shoes Tenzo get involved; his former kohai would go on and about the ethics of forced body modification on a twelve year old.
Bah! They're shinobi, who needed pesky things like ethics or morals? Nobody, that's who. At least in Kakashi's not so humble opinion, and thus the only opinion that mattered in this case. Besides, the Hokage signed off on it and that was good enough for him!
"Electromagnetic Murder!" Naruto called out, aiming the shockwaves at the ground covered in fresh puddles- effective, but Kakashi could see through his cute little apprentice to be in a heart beat.
With a subtle genjutsu 'borrowed' from a random Kiri shinobi, Kakashi guided his apprentice to the training grounds where he unleashed his secret weapon: ramen.
While he was not a rich man, per say, the genius inside Kakashi saw the, well, genius, in having an emergency supply of ramen laced in sedatives for when Naruto resisted his plans for the perfect mini-me transformation. He had suspected he'd need it when he drafted Naruto into the ANBU after becoming a jonin so that he could have a tattoo like his sensei, not for something as simple as an eye upgrade.
Honestly, teenagers these days! However, he unsealed the storage scroll with the ramen containing enough sedatives to take down five elephants; Naruto would be out a good day at least, just enough time for the operation.
"Oh, Naruto" Kakashi sang, "I'm sorry for wanting to take you to the hospital- I mean the bad place" he corrected when his apprentice flinched. "How about some ramen to make up for it?" Here Kakashi held out the bowl and the genjutsu addled genin ripped it out of his hands. Yet another reason the jonin wanted his apprentice to be to get the eye: it would enable the boy to see through and knock away genjutsu like the one he just fell prey to. While only a C rank, the suggestive type genjutsu Kakashi just used made the user easier to manipulate and took away their sense of survival- something shinobi needed!
So, as he watched his sensei's son and mini-me sway and fall into his waiting arms asleep, Kakashi Hatake took comfort in his own deluded rationalization that in the end Naruto would thank him…right?
One day later, Konoha hospital…
When arriving with a drugged up Jinchuuriki for a major surgery no longer made the medic-nins bat an eye, that's when Kakashi was sure they needed some serious vacation time…with a therapist.
Now, after a successful surgery (Kakashi only had to subdue the enraged Kurama trying to leak chakra five times), Naruto lay bandaged and sleeping peacefully. It was so adorable, the left eye now being just like his own, minus the scar (for now). Kakashi looked at his apprentice to be in pride, knowing he just had a few more steps before he outdid Guy in all aspects and ensured the way of hip and cool survived his name joining the memorial stone.
If only his apprentice would wake up! The exams started in two hours and they were the one event the Hokage would not tolerate Naruto being late for. If the genin stayed asleep much longer Kakashi would have to cover for him, and if there was one man Kakashi dreaded being in the same room with, it was Ibiki Morino. The man was a sadist and the first proctor.
So Naruto had to wake up.
"Ah, Hatake-san? Would you mind filling out some forms? Just the standard 'S-class secret acquired from' forms, and we'll go over after care for Naruto-kun" A rather chipper nurse spoke from the doorway. Kakashi gave her an eye smile but kept reading.
"Maa, I'm sure the forms can be done later, and I've had an eye transplant before- they're not difficult to recover from." He replied nonchalant. The nurse took offence to his response and the room became colder than the Land of Snow.
"You, Kakashi Hatake, got your eye in the middle of war, and still have problems with chakra drain because of the way it was put in and your misuse of it! Now you will come fill out these forms and listen for once in your damn life or I will rip that eye out of your head and replant it without sedatives! Am. I. Clear?" The nurse glowered. Ah yes, she was the one often tasked with dragging him to the operating room when he justifiably tried to leave; best not anger a kunoichi capable of dragging you by the ear despite being weaker and shorter than most genin.
"M-maa, y-yes Ma'am." He said and left to do the 'responsible thing.'
Too bad Naruto chose to burn through the rest of the sedatives in his system and wake up right then.
Konoha's chunin exams would never be the same again.
With Naruto…
Waking up was never one of Naruto's strengths, especially when the genjutsu he was subjected to (not that he knew) made everything fuzzy. But, one thing that Naruto could always tell was when he was in the hell known as the hospital.
"…Gah! What am I doing here?! Gotta get out before the demons find me! No shots, not today, not for the future Hokage!" Naruto babbled on while tearing off every scrap of bandage- including the mass around his left eye. He grabbed the various gear and clothing items, throwing them on haphazardly and bolting out the window, idly wondering why he could see so much better. Eh, he'd ask sensei when he saw him before the test; no doubt his team was waiting for him!
Inside the seal…
"DAMN YOU KAKASHI…AND YOU MINATO FOR SEALING ME IN THIS BRAT!" Kurama raged. He couldn't believe it! His container, a holder of the Sharingan! He had celebrated the demise of that horrid clan, and was happy they weren't around thank you very much! But now his pathetic vessel had the means to subdue him, Kurama the Great.
What's next, chakra chains?
Kurama shuddered at his dark mind and drifted off to that nightmare.
Konoha's Shinobi Academy…
Sakura and Sasuke looked at their bumbling idiot of a teammate from behind Icha Icha, horrified.
Sakura was ready to barf, wondering how the heck Naruto was related to Sasuke enough to get the Sharingan. Only Uchihas (and Kakashi-sensei) could use it, and there's no way Naruto had some Uchiha give him their eye, right? The way it only opened in one eye fully formed was…disconcerting, but Sakura planned to research the hell out of it.
Sasuke dropped his book and stared, dumbstruck.
"Eh, heh, guys, what's wrong? We still have half an hour, I'm not late!" The blond rubbed his head awkwardly, blinking the bright sun away.
"Naruto, what the hell did you do?" He growled.
"What do you mean?" He asked innocently. Cue the twin face palms.
"…Your eye, Naruto-baka, how did you awaken the Sharingan!" Sakura demanded. Naruto stared in confusion.
"…Huh? I don't have a Sharingan."
"Quit denying it it's stuck inside your head glaring at me!" Sasuke retorted. Sakura sighed, sensing an argument. The sun hung high, signifying they barely had enough time to get to the room and she desperately wanted to become a chunin and get away from Kakashi-sensei.
"Here, look." She brought out a mirror, letting Naruto stare blankly into it. Mentally she counted.
One.
Two.
Three.
"W-WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY AWESOME EYE! I CAN'T HAVE A SHARINGAN!"
Ibiki Morino felt a shiver run down his spine as he practiced his Evil Smirk Number Two in the staff room's mirror.
End! Wow, writing crack always exhausts me, so I plan to nap after posting this. First, however, we have a few points to cover:
THANK YOU! We have officially gone over one THOUSAND favorites! Like, seriously, I am so thankful. This story isn't always the easiest or fastest to update, and your continuous support warms my heart. On that note, we have also gotten three hundred…sixty I think reviews. For a crack fic, that's a big deal in my book.
Did anyone happen to catch the Pokémon references? I've been watching a lot of ads for the newest installment in the series and am now down the rabbit hole. If I had the money and time, I'd be doing nothing but gaming through the regions on my switch. But alas, college, work, and finances prevent this.
Who is ready for Ibiki? I technically brought him in, sooo… yeah. I should stop trying to say where we'll get to the next chapters as it never seems to happen.
Anyways…
Have a fantastic week,
Riku.
(ps. Join our discord; Shout out to Dragon my beta- may you survive this semester! Also, super proud of you for working so hard at school lately.)
discord .gg / K5C8SYh
(take out the spaces, if you still need help, just PM me and I'll help you out!)