Chapter 15
AN: Hello lovely readers! We are beginning to enter 'The Final Countdown' of this story. Hears music in the background. Anyways, the story is set to end at the conclusion of the chūnin exams and leave it open for a sequel. That… is my plan anyways! See we have a lot to cover in these last five chapters: driving Ibiki insane, messing with Orochimaru, opening a romance… you get the idea. So, know that while the plan is to finish at chapter twenty, it could go longer!
…But I have Animal Crossing I will try to contain myself! I wish the game wasn't so engrossing. To combat my tendency to play all day after classwork, I've implemented some… limits. Hopefully those work!
By the way, if you have the game and want to play online with me and stuff, feel free to join our discord below and exchange friend codes- I named my island Uzu! Hope to see you guys on, and not only Animal Crossing. I have Smash Bros, Mario Kart, and more I am willing to try and not be last in.
Previously on "Kakashi's Mini-me" …
Sakura and Sasuke looked at their bumbling idiot of a teammate from behind Icha Icha, horrified.
Sakura was ready to barf, wondering how the heck Naruto was related to Sasuke enough to get the Sharingan. Only Uchihas (and Kakashi-sensei) could use it, and there's no way Naruto had some Uchiha give him their eye, right? The way it only opened in one eye fully formed was…disconcerting, but Sakura planned to research the hell out of it.
Sasuke dropped his book and stared, dumbstruck.
"Eh, heh, guys, what's wrong? We still have half an hour, I'm not late!" The blond rubbed his head awkwardly, blinking the bright sun away.
"Naruto, what the hell did you do?" He growled.
"What do you mean?" He asked innocently. Cue the twin face palms.
"…Your eye, Naruto-baka, how did you awaken the Sharingan!" Sakura demanded. Naruto stared in confusion.
"…Huh? I don't have a Sharingan."
"Quit denying it it's stuck inside your head glaring at me!" Sasuke retorted. Sakura sighed, sensing an argument. The sun hung high, signifying they barely had enough time to get to the room and she desperately wanted to become a chūnin and get away from Kakashi-sensei.
"Here, look." She brought out a mirror, letting Naruto stare blankly into it. Mentally she counted.
One.
Two.
Three.
"W-WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY AWESOME EYE! I CAN'T HAVE A SHARINGAN!"
Ibiki Morino felt a shiver run down his spine as he practiced his Evil Smirk Number Two in the staff room's mirror.
Onto the show! With Naruto…
Naruto began hyperventilating, the rhythmic beating of his heart became more pronounced as he took in his reflection. His gorgeous baby blue eye had vanished, only to be replaced by the piercing crimson of a Sharingan. Gone were his plans to woo Sakura with his once striking blue eyes; he had wanted to surpass Sasuke in his own way, not copy his traits.
The thunderous wail of his heart was quickly overpowering his common sense. No… no. He could not let this continue.
"Take it out!" Kurama's voice jolted him out of his stupor. "Use your human fake teeth of metal and take the damn eye out. Now!"
Naruto was confused. 'How Fuzzball? What are fake teeth of metal?' He thought.
"It's Kurama-sama to you, brat" Kurama said, "And I had meant those… weapon things."
Naruto eyes visibly widened in understanding, 'Oh, my kunai!'
"Yes, that! Use that and scoop the cursed eye out."
"Hell no that sounds painful!" Naruto yelped mentally. The very idea… he shuddered. Kakashi-sensei loved to scare him with the story of how he had lost his own eye. Naruto didn't want to go through that, not when he couldn't even remember how he had gotten it.
"It came from your delusional sensei, brat" Kurama deadpanned. "You don't want to be like the Uchiha brat, do you? Well then, carve it out! No fear! Stop acting like a baby and act like a Bijuu. Besides I'll heal it up instantly."
"Promise?"
"Bijuu's honor." Kurama said. What Kurama failed to say was that he would be in immense pain for days. Come to think of it Kurama was not entirely sure it was a good idea to do this when his host was going against Shukaku's host, but then again, the brat was immortal considering everything he had gone through. He'd survive… probably.
With a resigned gulp, Naruto took a kunai out of his pouch and raised a shaky hand towards his face. With a deep breath, he readied himself for the pain to come. No worries, right? Kurama would heal him up and he would be able to look for his eye later. If he found out that Kakashi-sensei had done this he would be buying Naruto a hundred- no a thousand bowls of ramen!
Meanwhile, in Konoha's hospital…
Kakashi Hatake collapsed in relief that he was finally done with the damn paperwork! He couldn't wait to take his cute little apprentice to his exam, and of course if he educated him about the benefits of said amazing eye there would be nothing wrong with that.
Then a vision of him bankrupt and sobbing over empty ramen bowls struck him like a lighting bolt at the cliffs.
It meant nothing… right?
Back with Naruto…
He brought the kunai up to his eye in a single smooth motion.. Naruto was ready, ready for this. Ready to be free.
Just before he could commit to the action, a kick to the stomach and a hand twisting the knife out of his grasp stopped him.
"Yeowch!" He wheezed in pain. While looking up to spot his attacker, tears began to well in his eyes, Naruto saw a panicked looking Sasuke.
"You idiot." Sasuke said. His voice dripped with pure unadulterated venom. "You do not ever, ever treat a Sharingan with such disrespect!"
"But I have to get rid of it." Naruto protested.
"Hn. You will, after the exam. At a proper hospital- quit flinching it's just a word!" Sasuke gripped his hand tighter and motioned Sakura to grab Naruto's other arm. "For now you will keep your headband over the eye so it doesn't kill you. You must protect it with your life, or I will end your miserable existence. Hn. Clear?" Sasuke looked winded at the longest sentence he had likely said since he learned to scowl and even Sakura looked surprised at his passion.
"… Er, sure Sasuke." Naruto would never admit Sasuke scared him at that moment. He focused instead on ignoring Kurama's enraged yelling about being a wimp.
"Hn." And the old Sasuke was back. So much for communication.
The trio made their way inside. When Naruto was messing with his headband it slipped up right as they came upon the henged Izumo and Kotetsu. He blinked in surprise and shrugged.
"Hey Izumo, Kotetsu" Naruto called out. Their jaws dropped at the sight of the infamous 'Orange Menace' with a Sharingan. "You're on the wrong floor- we need to go to floor three, remember? Are you guys trying to take the exam again?" Naruto ignored the mass of now grumbling genin and his teammates, continuing up.
"Shoot, Ibiki's gonna kill us," Kotetsu said. Izumo gulped loudly. "We were supposed to keep these losers away from the test, so he wasn't surrounded by maggots." They could only look on as the genin teams trailed behind Team Seven, the most infamous team in Konoha at this point, to their rather… violent boss.
"Maybe he won't notice?" Izumo suggested. Kotetsu could only deadpan at his best friend as if he was a delusional maniac. With a sigh he used a shunshin to take them to the proctor room, knowing it could be their last day on the planet.
Outside Testing room…
"Didn't Kakashi-sensei say he would be here to send us in?" Naruto asked. Sasuke sighed, Sakura following. They had hidden in the hallway while they watched other genin rush to the entrance of the exam room (Sakura insisted they let the "cannon fodder" take any traps) and successfully avoided Naruto's so-called eternal rival. Finally, they reached the door only to find no sign of their sensei. they were at the door with no sign of their sensei
"Great, he's late for his own team's test." Sakura said. She was less than impressed with her sensei already. At this point, though, she just needed to make chūnin and transfer to a new squad with Sasuke.
"Maa, maa, my cute little genin. Have you little faith in your sensei?" Speak of the devil and he shall appear in a slouch.
"None at all" Sakura deadpanned.
"Hn." Sasuke said. It translated roughly to 'no way in hell'.
"Of course, Sensei!" And then there's Naruto. "… after you buy me ramen for the stupid eye that is." There were his shinobi tactics! Naruto mentally high-fived himself for that one.
Kakashi looked heartbroken that his genin were so cold. And Naruto…
"You wounded me, my apprentice to be… and technically other genin. Aren't you liking your new weapon of death?" Kakashi asked. He couldn't let his project fail now, the Hokage was eager to see how Naruto performed with the eye!
Naruto squinted his eyes at his sensei and then huffed as Sasuke pulled his headband over it.
"Keep it covered, hn. People steal Uchiha eyes."
"Sasuke is right. Only uncover it if you need to- and watch the chakra flow." Kakashi added. He then proceeded to look at the window and magically deduced the time. Long story short, his genin were about to be late. "Maa, look at the time. Okay remember to only kill non- Konoha contestants and to make chūnin. Do it and you each get an advance copy for the newest "Icha Icha Tactics'' series first book."
The bribery worked as the three genin were experiencing varying degrees of excitement. Even with the mask, Kakashi noticed Naruto was the most obviously happy. Kakashi mentally promised himself that during the month before finals he would snuff out everything 'uncool' and 'unhip' about his apprentice.
The three genin- his genin, he reminded himself in pride- strode into the room as if they owned the place. Kakashi could not be prouder if he tried.
Well… he would be prouder when Naruto took his first assassination mission and made ANBU, but those were long- term goals. For now, he was proud.
'Time for Ichi Icha, Kakashi; you deserve it.'
Inside the testing room…
Stepping inside the testing room with all the killing intent took the entire Team Seven back to the many times when Kakashi hit them with his own killer intent at random times- training, missions, the hot springs (though that one left Kakashi in the hospital when the Kunoichi felt his killing intent from over the wall and got annoyed).
However, the current level was their sensei on a good day, and thus could not faze them in the slightest. Sasuke and Sakura did the smart thing and casually pulled out Icha Icha in hopes of drowning the masses out. Naruto, though…
"Huh, guys, think Kakashi-sensei would train them to use killing intent better? They're kinda weak." Naruto said. He gave a closed eye smile, missing Sasuke and Sakura gulp knowing that everyone heard them and would now be out for their heads. Even the other Konoha genin were slightly red with bloodlust.
"Oh a little Konoha baby trying to sound tough?" A mass of bandages was in Naruto's space. He blinked as his single eye met another single eye. The shinobi had an unfamiliar headband with a music note. But his aura was dark, darker than Naruto expected to feel. But he wasn't Kakashi Hatake's personal student for nothing!
"Oi! Get out of my face, maa." He said, remembering to become more relaxed sounding towards the end. "My team is going to squash yours."
The foreign shinobi looked ready for a fight, but a large pop in the back of the room stopped a bloodbath.
"Silence you maggots!" A harsh voice echoed in the suddenly silent room. Surrounded by dozens of chūnin in grey uniforms, including a nervous looking Izumo and Kotetsu, was a man Kakashi had warned his team about several times over the past couple of months in a subtle manner: Ibiki Morino, sadist extraordinaire.
Naruto's eyes widened in fear. The glare directed at him was enough to curdle milk.
With Ibiki…
Having his pre-exam scowling practice interrupted by the idiot duo pushed upon him by the Hokage had put the head of the torture department in a bad mood. Listening to them babble about Kakashi's little psycho squad messing up Ibiki's ingenious plan to sift the weaklings who could not possibly pass for genin, much less chūnin, made his blood pressure rise. To then hear that Kakashi's supposed 'future apprentice' (a fact that made Ibiki giddy with all the psychological trauma he would be able to study when the Jinchūriki finally cracked) had a fully developed Sharingan in one eye, Ibiki paled. The implications for his sanity if this was true!
But no, there's no way Hokage-sama would let Naruto Uzumaki of all genin receive one of the recovered Sharingan. Those were set to be given out to important shinobi who could keep them secret- mostly ANBU. Not genin who would probably scrape by with a pass to chūnin- after all, he was the luckiest bastard Ibiki had ever had the displeasure of meeting.
Ibiki Morino hated his village's Jinchūriki. Not because of his status- Ibiki respected the brat for that and was one of the shinobi who used to donate toys and equipment when he was a small child. In fact, Ibiki used to look forward to Naruto Uzumaki joining the shinobi forces and considered becoming a jōnin and sensei to him.
That all changed the day six year old Naruto broke into his office and stole his most precious possession, all for a bet with the Hokage. Now, Ibiki couldn't stand him, and the fact he might be given an eye capable of copying any technique, thus becoming an even greater menace, was not something Ibiki could handle.
So, with the snarl he learned from his mother, Ibiki punished the chūnin and started their epic entrance he absolutely did not make his underlings practice for hours. Seeing Naruto pale at his call out made bloody rainbows and mutilated unicorns come to Ibiki's mind. In other words, it made his day.
Noticing the headband over Naruto's eye made Ibiki hold in a chuckle. Of course, chūnin would make the mistake of thinking a genin playing dress up to look like his sensei was the same as actually having the accursed eye. Ibiki was safe. He was still king of this exam.
Oh, how the mighty would fall.
Later, the beginning of the exam…
Naruto never liked written tests. Sure, Kakashi-sensei gave him lots of help with learning now, but in the past, he was always the worst. Too many words and numbers. He was a more hands on shinobi, thank you very much.
Seeing this written exam have questions that made him feel like the stupid dead last of the academy was not how he envisioned a chūnin promotion would go a chūnin promotion was supposed to go! And to get disqualified if he was caught cheating only five times? That was even worse. If only Sakura or Sasuke was next to him to help him out. Hinata was running a fever like always, trying to ask for help or something, but Naruto didn't have time for her. He had to think fast to get at least one question done.
'Argh this headband itches too' He thought in annoyance. Sasuke had insisted he keep it covered, but Naruto couldn't take it. Surely lifting it up for a second wouldn't hurt, right? Just to let the eye breathe. It would be down again before anyone noticed. With that justification, Naruto lifted his beloved headband to its original position, not noticing the various proctors fixating on his position.
'Ahh, that's much better. Now, time to ace this stupid test!' As his excitement grew, Naruto didn't notice the subtle shift of his eye, activating on instinct to its new owner.
Looking up, Naruto saw the proctor Ibiki glaring at him. Naruto gulped and raised a hand, letting a smile form behind his face mask in an attempt to be nice. Sakura had always told him that those friendly with the teachers got the best grades.
With Ibiki…
Of course the brat actually got a Sharingan. Shisui Uchiha's by the looks of it, the most overpowered eye Ibiki had ever seen. For most of the exam Naruto had been helplessly not writing anything! But now he looked relaxed, happy even.
The fact that he had the audacity to give him a masked smile and wave meant Ibiki was challenged. The genin challenged him.
Ibiki would not lose. Too bad marking off for using Dojutsu was against regulations or some other political crap. But Ibiki would win, if not at disqualifying him, then at intimidation.
So, Ibiki met the eyes of his enemy head on, beginning the most important stare down in his life.
A stare down that he would triumph in.
Back with Naruto…
'Wow! This eye is kinda cool' Naruto thought as he tracked every movement in the room. Staring straight ahead- couldn't get accused of cheating, after all- he was amazed at how all the pencils moved and people twitched. Things were so clear. However, the clock showing twenty minutes left was an unpleasant wake up call. He had to hurry!
Naruto's nervousness skyrocketed with each tick on the clock. He unconsciously pulsed chakra into the eye, and reality began breaking.
If only the proctor would quit creeping him out by staring.
With Ibiki and proctors…
First there was the glare. Now a tiny black flame burst on the clock, incinerating it. Ibiki sealed it away in one of his special scrolls made for when he faced Itachi Uchiha without sparing it more than a glance. He couldn't let the genin distract him, clever as it was.
Izumo yelping as his chair turned to bugs and Kotetsu attempting to inch away from a flame erupting in the air was no consequence. Naruto still refused to back down so Ibiki wouldn't either. While he could now disqualify the brat, doing so would be a cop out.
By Ibiki's impeccable ability to tell time they had one minute left. Then a timer in his pocket would go off. He could do this.
That was until his bandana just turned to ash, ruining his big reveal.
Naruto…
Naruto wasn't sure who was making the flames appear, but they had to stop, he could hardly focus. Worse was there were less than forty teams left and each time one left an ominous chuckle would echo throughout the room. It sounded a lot like Kurama, but Naruto wasn't sure if it actually was his furry friend.
He had to concentrate and that was impossible when random things kept happening!
One thing that bugged him though, was Ibiki. Kakashi-sensei always told them he had something cool under his headband bandana, and Naruto really wanted to see it.
'No, gotta focus… bah! I gotta know, what's under his bandana?' Naruto found himself staring at it in hopes it would go away so he could get his answers. To his surprise, it did! On the now exposed head was a map of scars not even a mother would find pretty. Ibiki's face was turning red.
"Wow that looks painful!" Naruto blurted out. He instantly regretted it as Ibiki's red face turned murderous.
"What… did you say?" Ibiki whispered dangerously. A timer buzzed in the background for the tenth question.
"Er… did you say something?" Naruto tried. It only seemed to make Ibiki madder.
"You…" Ibiki trailed off, then smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. "Alright, pencils down!" He said. Pencils dropped everywhere. "It's time for the tenth question."
Naruto gulped and got ready. He would win this. He stared into Ibiki's eyes again, hoping he could do this.
"The tenth question is…"
'Damn, why can't he just pass us?' Naruto thought. 'Come on, just say we pass. I gotta become a chūnin.' His mental prodding was intense, and his new eye reacted.
"… No question. You all pass." A now expressionlessIbiki said. Naruto blinked in surprise, as did everyone else in the room.
"THAT'S THE TENTH QUESTION?" Sakura shouted from the back. Naruto whipped his head around to see her, another flame bursting near her hair. She shrieked, as did more genin teams.
Thick blood began running down the walls while black flames started furiously crackling and slowly dripping off the ceiling. All hell was breaking loose.
This was the scene Anko Mitarashi crashed into.
Kurama cackled in the background, most amused for some reason. Naruto just wanted to become a chūnin already.
End!
1. It's time for a recommendation for all you fans of crack fics. s/13110826/1/Gōsutoai Gosutaoi is a must-read story due to its humor and its uniqueness, you won't find another story like it. Harry loses his eyes, but Orochimaru experiments on him resulting in Naruto being able to see ghosts, because of this he creates a ghost spy network and ends up in some crazy situations. Also, Madara and Tobirama should never again be allowed to work on Seals together.
2. This chapter got a tad crazy… wonder if dojutsu will be allowed after this haha. Poor Ibiki.
3. Say hello to our second beta, Sean The Great! Sean's job is to check for grammar, formatting, and spelling errors I miss so that your reading experience improves. My favorite thing that he did was giving us the proper way to spell the various ranks! Give him some thanks in the comments if you think he improved the story!
4. Next chapter… The Forest of Death! Dun Dun Duuuuuun….
Have a fantastic week,
Riku.
(ps. Join our discord; Shout out to Dragon my beta- may you survive this semester! Also, super proud of you for working so hard at school lately.)
discord .gg / K5C8SYh
(take out the spaces, if you still need help, just PM me and I'll help you out!)