13
Tatooine
Beru and Owen sat together eating dinner. Anakin had not joined them, and not for the first time. Both Owen and Beru were growing concerned about their houseguest, for he seemed to be growing more restless and depressed by the day. He'd stopped shaving, and his hair was now hanging down his back. But it wasn't that so much as his mood. He was withdrawn, quiet, and only spoke to them when absolutely necessary.
"You need to talk to him, Owen," Beru said. "He can't go on this way."
"What do you want me to say to him?" Owen said in frustration. "I barely know the man, Beru."
She frowned. "He's been here nearly three months, don't tell me you don't know him," she replied. "He's family, now go talk to him!"
"Can I at least finish my damn supper? Is that okay?" he snapped.
Beru smiled. "By all means."
Anakin was in the garage performing maintenance on a droid. He was lost in the task, effectively shutting out everything else but the droid. He didn't hear his step-brother enter the garage or say his name. Finally Owen came right over and stood in front of Anakin, startled that he'd been unable to get his attention.
"Anakin, did you hear me?"
Anakin looked up briefly. "Yes," he said. "What can I do for you?"
Owen frowned. "Leave the damn droid and look at me for a minute, would you?"
"I'm almost finished," Anakin said, not stopping what he was doing.
Owen sighed, and watched as Anakin completed the task he seemed to be obsessed with.
"What is it?" Anakin asked, setting down his tool and finally giving Owen his attention.
"I just thought we should talk," Owen said, feeling incredibly awkward saying those words.
Anakin frowned. "What about?"
Owen regarded him for a moment. "You," he said.
"What about me?"
"Come on, Anakin, it's no secret that you're not yourself," Owen said. "And I know we haven't known each other very long, but I hope you feel like you can talk to me."
Anakin said nothing as he packed up his tools. "I appreciate it," he said.
"Oh don't thank me," Owen said with a smirk. "Beru is making me. Women, eh?"
Anakin didn't respond, and started cleaning his hands with a rag. "Don't trouble yourself," he said. "I'm fine."
"I don't know you well, but I know you're not fine," Owen said. "You're quiet, you haven't shaved in weeks, and I know you're not sleeping. I hear you in here at night, puttering around."
Anakin tossed the rag onto the work bench and looked up at his stepbrother. "Put yourself in my place, Owen," he said. "How would you feel? I haven't seen my newborn son and daughter, ever, I haven't seen my wife in three months…"
"I get it, I get it," Owen said. "But you know this isn't forever, right? The government is working on this …clone problem."
"Are they? Seems to me like they're doing nothing," Anakin replied. "The Jedi are all but extinct, after fighting in a war to protect the Republic, and the senate is dragging their heels. What else is new?"
Owen could see how bitter Anakin was, how frustrated. But could he blame him? Who wouldn't feel the same way in his position?
"I'm sorry," Owen said at last. "I know this situation stinks, and I wish things were different. I really do."
"I know," Anakin said. "And I appreciate everything you're doing for me, Owen. Truly I do. I'm just…not in a good place right now."
Owen nodded. "Well if you feel up to it, we could go get a drink some time," he said. "With that beard no one's gonna recognize your face anyway," he added with a smile.
Anakin smiled. "Maybe, thanks," he said.
"Why don't you come in and eat? You know how Beru gets."
Anakin nodded. "Lead the way."
Later that night, as Anakin lay awake in his narrow bed, he thought back to the conversation he'd had with Owen. He appreciated that his step-brother was trying to help him, but the way Anakin saw it, no one could help him. He was totally alone, separated from everyone that mattered to him. His children were growing bigger every day, and he'd never so much as met them. He didn't even know their names. I need to see them, he reflected. Like Owen said, no one is going to recognize my face right now…and what if they do? Is my life worth living stuck here? Never meeting my own children? I would gladly risk my life to see them, even once…. Anakin fell into a restless sleep with these thoughts in his mind.
Anakin's heart raced as he rode the lift up to Padme's apartment. Finally, finally it was over! And at last, he would see his precious children. They were nearly 3 years old now, and Anakin worried that they would be shy of him. They would be, at least initially – but he felt certain that they would knew who he was, that their bond in the Force would help them get over the initial shock of meeting him. He had wondered what Padmé had told them about him; did they know their father was a Jedi? Did they know why he'd been forced to live apart from them their whole lives?
Finally the lift arrived at the apartment and he stepped into the vestibule. He heard children's laughter, and he was filled with emotions. "I'm home! Padmé I'm home!" he said, running towards the sound of the laughter. He found everyone in the dining room, and stopped in his tracks when he saw the twins sitting at the table eating their dinner. But they weren't alone; Padmé was there, and so was Rush Clovis.
"Daddy! There's a stranger in our house!" the little boy cried, looking at Anakin with fear in his blue eyes.
Everyone turned to Anakin, who stood in his ragged Tatooine clothes, unshaven, hair long and shaggy.
"How did you get in here?" Clovis asked, standing up and walking towards Anakin. "Stay away from my family!"
"Your family? This is my family!" Anakin cried.
Clovis frowned. "Padmé, call the police," he said. "And take the children to their room. This man looks dangerous…"
"Padmé it's me! It's Anakin! Your husband!"
"Clovis is my husband now," she said and then took the twins away.
This can't be happening… this can't be happening…
Anakin awoke with a start, his nightmare filling him with dread. I have to get to Naboo…I don't care what it takes…I don't care what the risks are…I have to see my babies before it's too late…
Naboo
Padmé was in Theed for the day with the twins. The twins were due for a check-up, and Padmé had decided to stay at her parents' house for a visit.
"Everything went well at the doctor?" Jobal asked as she and Padmé sat down for a cup of tea.
"Yes, the babies are both doing very well," Padmé said. "Hard to believe they're almost three months old."
Jobal nodded, knowing what Padmé was thinking even if she didn't say it. It was clear to Jobal just how much she missed Anakin.
"You look tired," Jobal remarked.
"I am tired," Padmé replied. "Not getting a lot of sleep with the twins up so much in the night."
"It gets better," Jobal assured her. "They will eventually sleep through the night."
Padmé smiled. "I'm glad to hear it," she said as she took a sip of hr tea.
"Did you see the Chancellor on the news last night?" Jobal asked.
Padmé shook her head. "I don't get to see the news too often," she admitted.
"He was talking about some sort of chip that the clones were given that they think is responsible for the Purge," Jobal said.
Padmé frowned. "So they were engineered to kill the Jedi," she said bitterly.
"So it seems," Jobal said. "Apparently the clone commanders have been ordered to report to him to ensure that they are following his cease and desist order" she said. "He seems reluctant to trust that they have."
"I don't blame him," Padmé said. "With so few Jedi left, it would be disastrous if there were still squadrons of clone troopers out there who have not heard the order." She stopped as her emotions go the better her, and she covered her face with her hands.
Jobal sighed, and put her hand on her daughter's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't have brought it up."
"No, it's okay," Padmé said with a sniff. "I need to know what's going on. It's just so hard to think of him," she said. "Not knowing if he's alive, not knowing when I'll see him again. If I'll see him again."
"I know love," Jobal said. She stopped as Luke began to cry.
"He probably needs a diaper change," Padmé said, standing up.
"I'll take care of him," Jobal said, as she stood up. "You enjoy your tea."
Padmé smiled. "Thanks Mum," she said. She picked Leia up from the bassinet as Jobal went into the bedroom to change Luke's diaper on the bed. "What about you?" Padmé asked her daughter. "Do you need a clean diaper too? Let's go check," she said. She was about to join her mother when the door chime sounded.
"Can you get that?" Jobal called. "It's probably Sola."
Padmé went to the monitor at the door and was initially startled by the appearance of the person standing outside the door. He was shabbily dressed and had long blond hair pulled back in a ponytail and a rather bushy beard. But when she looked into his eyes, she knew who it was. "ANAKIN!" she cried and activated the door with trembling hands.
Anakin stepped into the house, and embraced his wife and daughter, both he and Padmé overwhelmed with emotion.
"This is Leia," Padmé told him tearfully, "your daughter."
Anakin looked down into the face of his daughter, smiling through his tears. "She's so beautiful, he said. "Where is her brother?"
"Mom is changing his diaper," Padmé said. "She'll be right back. Ani I'm so happy to see you, but you're taking a terrible risk coming here! What if someone sees you?"
"I don't care anymore" he told her. "I needed to see you, I needed to see my children."
"Padmé, who is it?" Jobal asked, looking warily at the scruffy stranger standing in her parlour.
"It's me, Mrs. Naberrie," Anakin said, looking at the baby in her arms. "It's Anakin."
Jobal's eyes widened in shock. "What are you doing here?" she asked. "Isn't it dangerous?"
"I don't think anyone would recognize me right now, do you?" Anakin asked.
"He has a point," Jobal said. "I didn't."
Anakin smiled. "May I?" he asked, looking at his son again.
"Of course," Jobal said. "Luke, meet your daddy."
Anakin looked down into the face of his baby boy, taking in every detail of his face. He has my eyes, he realized with a smile. He looks like me.
"Ani?"
Anakin looked up at his wife and smiled as he placed Leia in his arms. He smiled at her, hardly able to believe that he was finally meeting them both. As for the twins, they were quite interested in their father's face, and studied him quite closely before bursting into tears, almost as one.
"What did I do?" Anakin asked, looking up at his wife and mother-in-law in alarm.
"Nothing," Padmé said as she and Jobal each took a baby.
"It's probably the beard," Jobal suggested.
Anakin frowned, hating that his children were afraid of him. But then, he'd just met them. He couldn't really hope for much more.
"I think Leia needs a diaper change," Padmé said. "Would you mind, Mom?"
"Not at all," Jobal said, and took her granddaughter to change her diaper.
"Come and sit down," Padmé said to Anakin. He followed her to the sofa where they sat down, Luke in his mother's arms. "Where have you been all this time?" she asked.
"Tatooine, staying with Owen and Beru," Anakin said.
"That's why you're so blond," she remarked, looking at his hair. "How did you get here? I don't imagine they have a ship."
"No, they don't," Anakin said, watching Luke. "I kind of …stowed away."
She frowned. "Why would you take such chances?" she chided gently.
He looked up at her. "How can you ask me that? I haven't seen you in months, I've never met my children until today. How could I not come?"
Padmé smiled. "I've missed you so much," she said, taking his hand, "but to put your life in danger this way Ani…you can't take risks this way. It's still not safe."
Anakin sighed. "I know," he said, looking down at Luke again. "I don't always think things through, you know that. I had a terrible dream last night, and that made me come."
"What did you dream?" she asked.
"I dreamed that I came home to find that you were married to Clovis, and the twins were toddlers and thought he was their father," he told her with a frown.
"Anakin, Clovis is dead," she reminded him.
"I know, I can't help what I dream," he said.
She shook her head. "I know you can't," she said. "I just wish this was over."
"What is the latest from the capital? Tatooine isn't exactly up on the latest news," he said.
Padmé proceeded to tell him what her mother had told her earlier.
"If he's waiting to hear back from every commander, he could be waiting a long time," Anakin said.
"I know," she said. She looked up as Jobal returned to the room with Leia in her arms.
"How long are you staying, Anakin?" Jobal asked as she sat down.
"I don't know," he replied. "I didn't exactly plan out this trip, to be honest. It was kind of a spur of the moment."
Padmé smiled. "And you never do things like this," she teased.
Anakin chuckled. "Well, maybe on occasion."
"Why can't you just go to the capital and get the chancellor to place you in protective custody?" Jobal said. "Surely the Senate wouldn't allow you to be harmed by the clones."
Anakin considered this. He looked at his wife. "What do you think?" he asked. "Could you ask Organa?"
"Yes, I will ask him," Padmé said. "But I'm not sure I feel comfortable about this, Ani."
"Padmé, I made it to Naboo hiding in the hold of a freighter," he told her. "Surely I can get to the capital in a private ship with security to protect me."
Padmé frowned. What he said made sense, but she didn't like it. She didn't like it at all. "I don't know," she said doubtfully.
"What if the Chancellor sent a security detail here to escort me?" Anakin asked. "I could be a valuable help to him, and help neutralize the threat from the clones. Try to be objective, Padmé."
"How can I?" she asked. "If something should happen to you…." She stopped as tears filled her eyes.
"Nothing will happen, I promise," he told her. "This is a great idea, and you know it."
Padmé looked at her mother, who was feeling awkward and having suggested it. Then she looked back at Anakin. "Very well," she said. "I'll talk to the Chancellor right now."