Merry Christmas & Happy New Year everyone!
Sorry about the long wait - My new job sucks (I sleep for 2-3 hours for most of the weekdays, so you can imagine how drained I am).
As an apology for the delayed update & a Christmas present to you all. I've included 2 scenes from Chapter 5. Yes, a preview (scroll down). I wanted to post Chapter 5 too but I felt it was not good enough, so I will only share the scenes that I'm happy with. Hope you will like it :)
To arika518: hello hun! thank you for your comment in last chapter! always happy to hear from you, thanks for waiting *hugs* I hope you are reading this chapter at home and not in office. I'm always worried to read that you are on the swivel chair while reading. You know, dangers of a giddy fangirl on a swivel chair, hahaha! kidding :P I hear you, I'm working on bringing Athrun into Chapter 5. *cough cough* Meyrin *cough* Lunamaria *cough* Shinn. Have a blessed holiday!
To MonkeyHeart3: hi there! thank you for your support, omg, I'm so touched to hear you did that. thank you thank you. I didn't expect it! was really happy and ecnouraged. I tried to speed up the update but I was really tired from my new job. such a nightmare I tell you... but I'm glad to be back and hope this chapter is enjoyable for you. YES - I got angrier when I found out that Athrun hugged Cagalli in the special episode after the nonsense of not wanting to meet her - when Kira and Lacus asked him. And yes - MEYRIN! F-ck! I hate it. I don't hate her but I hate to see her following him around. And I can only blame Athrun for not setting things straight with her! ARGH! He is going to get it from Shiho BIG TIME in Chapter 5 for this. Just wait and see, haha. Can't wait to hear from you about this update, see you in Chapter 5 ya? Merry Christmas :)
To TheRedSin: hi hi~ I hope you don't kill me after reading Chapter 4... it's regarding the dinner scene. I will make it up to you in one of the future chapters, promise! Thank you for being so patient with me and this story. Very happy and encouraged to know readers like yourself, so blessed! I hope this chapter makes the cut for you... let me know ya? Happy holidays :D
DISCLAIMER: This story is mine and characters I've created to facilitate the story-telling are mine too but I do not own Gundam SEED and Gundam SEED Destiny.
New Romance: Chapter 4 (Part 3)
"You know you are welcome to sit down, right?" His voice cut through her train of thoughts.
After a couple of blinks, she was greeted with the sight of him looking through his refrigerator. Her heart sped up instantly.
The white tee was stretched enough to remind her of his defined back. Memory how it felt under her fingertip came rushing back. They were at her place, a studio apartment provided by ZAFT. She membered that he was so warm, almost burning up. He was a complete opposite of her, who is always cool to touch and feeling chilly. His temperature was something that his fair complexion made impossible for anyone to guess that he was so warm blooded, literally. How nice it would be to touch a lazy trail along the raise and dips of the hot, hard flesh. Again.
As if on cue, earlier scene at her apartment flashed across her mind. Her heart skipped a beat. Her cheeks heating up. She did touch him! She touched his neck, shoulder, mid-section, abs to be exact, and his back too. Oh god. She sounded like a pervert. Or rather, she felt like she was one.
Pfft. He touched you too! Remember?
Strange tingling sensation spread through her entire being as the memory started replaying in her head. Reminding her of the way he made her feel, how he made her body come alive. Her blood grew warm. Her globes and underside of them tingled a little. As if he had just touched her there. His long fingers slowly trailing along the soft edges before they held one of her mounts captive. Followed by a gentle squeeze.
Just before the mind-numbing sensation reached her head, she remembered the look on his face. He wanted her. The hunger and need burning in those icy blue eyes was hitting a fever pitch. However, it was the stillness behind his heated gaze told her that he was doing his best to stop himself. He tried to hold back, but failed miserably. The little squeeze was a slip, and that, she suspected was where the leash on his hunger snapped.
She recalled his kisses were rougher and more hurried, while he held her closer against his hard body.
Wait. Or was it her, pressing her body against him?
She recalled that he had himself between her legs, while a particular male anatomy of his was rubbing against her. Their lips were inseparable. His heated skin was like the flame that draws the moth in. The moth was her. Yes! It was her. She had arched against him!
Just then, she froze as memory of that sinful friction hit her. Having him on top of her, topless, almost skin-on-skin with her. That intoxicating mix of racing heart, flames licking her entire body, his hard body pressing against her and a certain throbbing part of him… gosh! The sensation was something she cannot forget. That dull yet lingering ache at her core was something she had never felt before and never forget. She wondered how it feels to have him inside of her.
!
No. No, no, no! This is bad. This cannot be. It is going too fast! What was she thinking?!
It was getting out of hand. How can she think about that? Both of them weren't an item. She wasn't sure if she's ready for that, or being in a committed relationship with him, where it might escalate into one that sees her being intimate with him. It scares her. She will never look at him the same way again. She will never be the same again.
However, another part of her was curious. Is he a gentle or passionate lover? Judging from his temperament, even though he had mellowed, he is likely to be rough or impatient with her. Chill ran down her spine as she recalled Lacus mentioned her first time, with Kira, was painful. According to her friend, he had been gentle. He went slow, giving her ample time to get use to the intrusion. Still, it had hurt.
Kira, whom she came to know in person ever since he joined ZAFT to be with Lacus, is a soft-spoken and mild-mannered guy. Even now, she thinks he is too gentle and nice to be in the military. It must have been his Coordinator reflexes, coupled with the flight-or-flight instinct in those the life-or-death situation that he survived the wars. If being intimate with Mr Nice Guy hurts and took a while to get comfortable, what about Terror of ZAFT?
"Shiho?"
"Housenka?"
Feeling warm hands on her shoulder, she snapped out of her long train of thoughts.
Her heart almost stop when her vision became to focus.
The man, who was plaguing her thoughts, had his face inches away from hers. He must have lowered himself to meet her eyes, to get her attention.
How long has she been standing there?
"Are you alright? You are standing here for a while now."
Great.
"How long was I here? As in, at this spot."
"A couple of minutes. Maybe 10? I've washed the pot, pan, knife and chopping board."
"Oh…" Quick! Think of something!
"I asked you whether you prefer tomato sauce or carbonara since I have enough for spaghetti. No reply from you…."
Well, she is not exactly a pasta kind of person, but it is not every day that she, or anyone, get to see Yzak Joule cooks. Furthermore, he is cooking for her! She should enjoy the moment while it last.
Stop spacing out, girl!
"Tomato sauce for me, more savoury." She smiled, while he looked surprised. "You know, I was expecting you to pick carbonara. Since the creamy texture is somewhat a closer match to all that pastry and desserts you hog in the cafeteria." His blue eyes glittering with tease.
She felt her cheeks burning up again, as she went rigid. How did he…?
The sound of his small chuckle drifted to her ears.
She took a deep breath and wipe the slight blush of her face. "I don't hog pastry and desserts. I'm like everyone else, following the rules, 1 serving per staff."
He shot her a mock questioning look, "are you sure, Housenka?"
Now she is really curious about he found out about her extra serving, which she has never requested for but was offered to her instead. Nonetheless, she has no intention of letting him win on this. She wasn't a glutton. Neither was she greedy.
She folded her arms and glared at him, "dead certain! I took 1 serving."
He had his hands on his waist now, wearing a smug expression. Gosh, she couldn't figure if her hands were itchy to grab him closer for a kiss or to hit him.
"Own up now, Housenka. I've been closing both my eyes on this matter because the extra servings you took cut the amount wastage. That's why I let it slide."
Whaaaaaaat?
Those extra little morsels that Chef offered to her, in case she was hungry in between lunch-dinner, and dinner-breakfast, reduced the amount of wastage?! It's just a handful of puffs and buns! Not several cartons or baskets full of pastries!
Taking a quick inhale of air, she calmed herself. She will do what she is best at. Throwing the shit she got from Yzak back at him. That was how she earned her reputation among the officers, Shiho Hahnenfuss doesn't give a hoot about Terror of ZAFT.
She rolled her eyes and laughed sarcastically. "Your estimation or calculation sucks, Joule. And I know what you are getting at. I didn't request for more or help myself to the extra servings. Chef offered them to me. He was very kind, so his offer doesn't count. Definitely not hogging! Unlike you, he is nice and generous. He was afraid that I might starve in between meals. All because of a certain slave-driver, whom I had the misfortune of having as a boss!"
The look on Yzak's face was priceless. He was stunned speechless by her comeback. He has not see it coming. He was just standing there with widened eye.
You go girl~
In split second, he had a dark scowl on his face.
"He is nice and generous?" He questioned as he stalked closer towards her until they were a breath away from each other.
"Have you ever wonder where did all that extra servings came from? You think 'Nice and Generous' Chef will be able to make and offer you extra serving out of thin air? You think 'Nice and Generous' Chef was the one who approved the quantity and whatever that was needed to make them?"
She frowned as she took a moment to process what he had just revealed. Chef could have feedback to him that she frequently came into the cafeteria for hot chocolate or asking for sugar cubes which she ate as candies. Then again, if Yzak did not act on the feedback, there won't be extra portions for Chef to offer to her. He was right… but…
"Then why did you do that?" She froze as her thoughts slipped past her lips. Does she honestly want to know? Or a silly wish, wanting to hear him say that he likes her?
As she got out of her mental rambling, with her heart pounding in fear of her wishful thinking being realised, she noticed the dark scowl on his face was gone. It was replaced with a conflicted expression. A tic appeared along his jaws, while both his hands were clenched into tight balls.
"Is that why you return to Frigore's team?" He said quietly, voice lacing with unspoken anger and a hint of defeat.
"What?" She exhaled, not believing what her ears picked. How has this got to do with Commander Frigore? She asked Yzak a question. She wanted to know why he had done what he did. She was hoping to find out, hoping to confirm that it was one of his ways when he likes someone. That he did it because he liked her. What has Commander Frigore got to do with any of this?
"You returned to Frigore… when I was away." He said softly, almost like a whisper. The tic at his jaw was still evident but he was no longer looking at her.
Those blue eyes she came to love were looking down on the floor, "was it because he was nice to you?"
Skin-biting chill enveloped her at the sadness lacing his voice. Her heart broke when his quiet voice wavered slightly towards the end of the sentence.
She didn't know how the conversation went off track and ended up with Commander Frigore in the picture. However, one thing was for sure. It doesn't matter whether Commander Frigore was nice to her or not. She left because she had to forget about Yzak Joule. She had to stop her feelings before it was too late. Back then, she was aware that the platinum blonde saw her as a reliable comrade, a loyal soldier, and nothing else. Everything was all in her head. It was all on her.
However, things between them no longer felt the same when she re-joined the Le Creuset team, which was reshuffled to be the current Joule team. She convinced herself that it was her feelings for him. It didn't went away and grew instead. It could also be Yzak's mellowed temperament. Yes, all that. It got to be.
"It's … not that." She shifted a little closer to him, hoping to catch a glimpse of those ice blue orbs.
"Then why did you leave?" He looked up, straight into her eyes. She felt her breath stuck in her chest. The hurt swimming in his eyes... Did her departure affected him that much? Could it be that she meant something to him?
"Tell me, Shiho. Why? We fought two wars together..." He added, eyes still locked on hers. He was waiting answer and this time he was not letting her go without an answer.
-Bright flash of lightning-
Much to his surprise, the brunette yelped and froze immediately. She was frightened by the lightning. However, something about reaction told him that it wasn't just reacting to mere surprise or fright.
-Roar of thunder, followed by heavy downpour-
She jumped and took a step back. Her hands, which were shaky, slid upwards and wrap around her arms. In a rubbing motion, accompanied with slight frantic glance from side to side, it appeared as though she was trying to calm herself.
"Shiho?" He called out softly, with his hands raised slowly, palms opened. As he inched closer towards her, his head was filled with even more questions than before.
There was no way a mere lightning and thunder, mirrored after Earth's own, could have frightened a battle-hardened soldier like the brunette in front of him. Explosions, firing of warheads and deterrence fires were much brighter, louder and piercing than the lighting and thunder.
Taking in the look of sheer terror and her swallowing hard, she was frightened and scared. The thunder and lightning must have triggered something. Something traumatic. Or something that left a deep impression on her to warrant such a behaviour from the usually calm, collected, even stoic Shiho Hahnenfuss. It must have been terrible, to have such a reaction from her. Just what is it? Again, he doesn't have the slight idea. It was frustrating as hell. He needs to resolve this. He hate this clueless and helpless feeling. It felt as though he sucks as her Commander, her friend, her acquaintance, and as a human being basically, sucks big time.
"Hey…" He reached out and gently placed his hands over her hands. Momentarily halting her frantic hands, he lightly pressed them against his sweater, which she was still wearing, covering her arms.
She swallowed again and blinked rapidly before she took a deep breath. "I got to go." She was in mid-turn when his fingers wrapped around her hand and held on.
"Let me send you back to the apartment. It's pouring outside. It's scheduled to rain until the wee hours."
The brunette shook her head quickly, almost frantically as compared to her usual calm demeanour. "You shouldn't drive in the rain… The road is wet and slippery… it's dangerous."
The curiosity, the worry, more importantly, the need to be protective of her grew. It swelled to a level where he wanted to pull her in for a hug. He wanted to tell her that everything is fine, and he is here. And that she has nothing to worry about.
"No, I can't let you go home alone -"
"I will be safe-"
"Let me get a cab for you-"
"Yzak! I want to go! Now! Let me go!" She snapped, yelling, struggling against his now-tightened grip.
"Hey. Housenka, calm down! Calm down!" He shook as lightly as he can without letting go of her.
Her behaviour was worrying and honestly, it was scaring him. He has never seen her like this before. Maybe because they were in space most of the time. Thunder and lightning were impossible. Even when they were on Earth, they had never encountered rain or a thunderstorm. This was the first. He couldn't help but to wonder if she was like this when she was in Frigore's team, which was stationed on Earth.
A dull pain stabbed his heart as a picture of her alone in her quarter, struggling with this fright, flashed in his mind. Did she sneak into her room and hide from everyone? Was she by herself the whole time she was in such a state? All alone, struggling? Anyone comforted her? Or she got out of it by herself?
His blood went boiling hot instantly, when the thought of James Frigore comforting her flashed in his head. Yes, Shiho was a test pilot of 'Goohn Underground Mobility Test Type', which was a project under James Frigore's charge. She was assigned to his team upon graduation from the military school. She was in his team, under his command, before Ezalia Joule convinced Patrick Zala to transfer her to the Le Creuset team to study the beam technology of the four stolen G units. It could only mean that there's possibility that James Frigore witness this side of the brunette. Bloody hell, he might have even comforted her! Like how? Pat on her head? Or her shoulder? Or worse, lend his shoulder for her to cry on? F-ck!
Good God, how he wanted to punch him so badly! He didn't want that slime bag to touch his Housenka! He will f-cking snap his wrist and break his fingers, yes, every single one of them. No, he should break both of that bastard's arms.
-Lightning flashed again, followed by very loud crackle of thunder-
The brunette was so startled that she fell onto the ground.
"Are you hurt?" Yzak quickly went down on his knees and checked her legs. Her hands were shaking. One was covering hear ear, in an attempt to block out the sound of thunder, while the other was covering her eyes. A sob slipped.
"Did you sprain your ankle or hurt yourself? Shiho, are you alright?"
She breathe erratically as she struggled to push his hands away. "Leave me alone… I want to go… I want to be alone…" She started to sob.
There was no way he was leaving her alone or go anywhere when she was in such a state.
He pulled her into his embrace. His arm hand pressing her shoulder to his, angling it, his palm cover the other ear of hers. His other hand held her body close to his. "It's going to go away, Housenka. It's going to be okay. I'm here. The rain will be stopping soon and you can go home after that, okay?"
He can't let her know that he was surprised by her behaviour. And the attempt to find answers to all his questions can wait. What matters the most now is to get her to calm down. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her closer against him. Her shoulders started to shake as hiccups of sobs broke into a heart-breaking sound of her crying silently.
Goodness. What could have happened to make the usually stoic Shiho Hahnenfuss so frightened and cry?
.
.
.
(Flashback)
-Heavy downpour-
After pressing the doorbell several times and receiving no answer, she decided to try her luck. Pushing lightly on the front gate, it swung backwards granting her access to the main house.
Strange.
Upon reaching the house, the door swung backwards her touch. Similarly, the house's door was closed but unlocked.
Something was off.
As she stepped into the house, she felt something was wrong with herself too. She couldn't wrap her head around it, or couldn't find the words to describe it, but something suddenly clicked in her. Like a part of her mind was jolted awake. Then, a small buzz sounded at the back of her mind. It has gotten louder as she quietly steps further into the house.
The lights were off. It was dark. Aside from the heavy rain pelting hard against the roof and windows, it was silent. However, she was not alone. She can feel it. There were a few 'presence' tagged to this soft but buzzing sound at the back of her mind. It didn't hurt but it is there.
She found herself overcome with an urge to find out what it was. But how? How does she tug on to that intangible link? That's it! A link, yes. It felt like it was a communication link to someone or a group.
No! What was she thinking? This is so science fiction and impossible. Talking through a mental link? To who? Was she going crazy?
Focus girl! You are here to have dinner with your mother!
The little voice was right. However, with this suffocating silent, worry sank in. Where is she?
"Miyako?" She called out, as she stepped past the living room and scanning the kitchen. Some traditional Japanese sweets and side dishes were laid out on the kitchen counter.
Warm fuzzy feeling of comfort and touch enveloped her. It was her mother all these years.
All those sumptuous Japanese dishes and sweets she had enjoyed and look forward to on her birthday, every year. They were from Miyako. Her mother made all of it.
Although Granny passed it off as her cooking in early years, everything made sense the day Chloe went into crazy fit of rage and spill the beans. She was overwhelmed by emotions and endless trains of thoughts that day but one thing was clear. Her mother may have given her away to Granny when she was just an infant, but she had never abandoned her. Otherwise, she won't have remember her birthday and went to the extent of preparing a birthday meal and having it delivered to her. Her mother must have her reasons.
Just then, the sight of chopsticks on the kitchen counter lying near flipped serving plates brought her back to reality. Her hair were standing on its end and her heart beat harder, so hard that she could hear it in her ears.
Burglar?
She spotted a knife by the sink and reached for it. Securing in her right hand, she slipped one of the one chopstick into her back pocket on the left side. Stepping out of the kitchen, she kept her footstep light.
On instinct, she lowered her posture to a slight hunch, bringing her closer to the floor to minimise the exposure to any attack. While it is not much, she will respond better than having her back straightened and upright. There is a bad vibe here. She is not alone. Something told her that the intruder was watching her when he or she could have easily take her out.
She quickly make her way to the bedroom, still keeping a tight watch of her back and surrounding only to be greeted by the sight of someone on the floor.
-Flash of lighting, loud crackle of thunder-
The floor shook at the exceptionally loud roar of thunder while the sudden lighting illuminated the room for a brief second. Frightening her and at the same time, revealing the person lying motionless on the floor. The same dark brown and pin-straight hair. Petite in build. Eyes was closed, complexion was deadly pale.
"Mother!"
It all happens within a blink of an eye. The moment she took a step towards the woman on the floor, someone came at her from behind. Tried to. She didn't know what she did or how she did it but the attacker didn't get a successful hit on her. She slipped away just in time.
Next thing she knew was the intruder standing in front of her. Taking in the intruder's tall yet bulky physique, it was a man. A gloved hand briefly touching the back, below his right shoulder. The hand coming away with the glove soaked. Likely to be blood. Did she stabbed him there? How? She didn't remember. Everything was a blur.
Before she could steal a blink, the attacker was charging towards her. Again, no full body tackle or sort of contact. She sidestepped and took aim at the area between his spine and shoulder blades. She didn't know why she was going for this area but she just did.
Suddenly, the link she felt at the back of her mind snapped. A sharp jolt of pain pierced her head. It was beyond the migraines that plagued her childhood days. It felt as though someone drive an industrial sized nail by hitting hard on a sledgehammer. The pain seared deep into her head, travelled down to the base of her skull where it meets her neck. The pain continued southwards down her neck and her back, where dainty little moles dusted along her spine. It felt like a lethal mix of cold, scorching flames and static, all mixed into one. It knocked the breath out of her, causing the knife to plunge slightly off her intended mark. The vision was out for a brief, split second. What was going on with her? What kind of headache was that?
"HOW DO YOU KNOW HER? WHO ARE YOU?" A deep voice sounded in her head. Bewilderment evident, under the outburst of anger evident.
She froze for a moment. Was she hallucinating? Did the man just shouted or spoke to her, in her head?
The attacker turned around and back away. He had a mask over his face. While he reached for the knife plunged into his back, he kept his eyes on her. Angry yet discerning brown eyes taking her in, watching and studying her.
She did the same but with great difficulty as her head was throbbing in pain. It became worse when his voice rang in her head. Does mother of all migraines felt like this? Although she was having problem to get her thoughts straight and to focus, she was certain that the voice belongs to the attacker. But… how? How did he do that?
"Someone else is approaching. Mission is done. She's taken it. She's no use to us. Pull back."
She gasped. Another voice sounded in her head. Another guy and he sounded very calm.
"She is coming too. She can hear us!" It was the attacker this time, sounding more annoyed despite the slight surprise lacing his voice.
"... Leave her." Another voice, sounding more senior, clipped. The headache stopped but she could still feel the presences in her head.
"Ohayo, Miyako-san. The gate and door were unlocked, so I let myself in. Sorry about the intrusion." A voice called out, seemingly from the living room. Footsteps coming closer. "The kimono that you have commissioned. It's ready. I'm here to deliver it to you."
This was her chance. Help. It was now or never.
"HELP! BURGLAR! HELP! BEDROOM!" Shiho yelled at the top of her voice. Seeing the royally pissed look of the attacker, she wrapped her hand to the chopstick at the back pocket. She lost the knife to him. If he decided to silence her while going for the window behind, she was dead.
A thud sounded, as if something was dropped. Footsteps broke into sound of shoes hitting against the floor in mad run.
The attacker charged towards her in a mad sprint. Due to the small size of the room, there was nowhere she could go but to hold her ground. Just as he was close, he ran past her and took a quick sideway glance at her. His breathing was heavy, must be the wound she inflicted on him. He shoved her roughly away, smashed through the window, and disappeared in the midst of the heavy rain.
Picking herself up from the fall, Shiho quickly crawled her way to woman on the floor. "Mother!"
Sitting up, the brunette lifted the woman and had her head and shoulder resting on her lap.
This can't be happening. Please, don't do this to her. Finding her mother was the reason behind her trip to Japan. All those hours of rehearsal to get into the Royal Academy of Fine Arts, and practising the language and another series of long rehearsals to enrol into their Japanese art elective. Just to find and see her mother. The woman whom she had never met but prepared delicious and well-thought Japanese dishes and sweets every year for her birthday. A simple yet meaningful gift, from a mother to her daughter, a wish for her to eat well and grow well.
"Mother?" She gently shook the woman. With no response and a trickle of blood running down her chin from a corner of her pale lips, raw emotions kicked in. The brunette's vision started to blur with tears threatening to fall. Her blood ran cold as disappointment and disbelief sank in.
"Mother... Wake up! We were supposed to have dinner together!" She shook the woman again as the well broke. A drop of tear fell on the woman's cheek. A couple more followed. She sobbed uncontrollably at the lack of response and held the woman close to her. Except for the older woman's petite physique, jet black hair, porcelain-like complexion, and black eyes, they were mirror image of each other.
"Shiho…" a weak, almost inaudible mention of her name caught the crying girl's attention.
"Mother?"
"Don't… cry… I'm… okay…" With each word, more blood slide down her lips. A cold hand, touched her cheeks. A weak attempt to wipe her tears. A desperate move to take one last look at her daughter whom she gave away. She wanted a better life for her daughter. She didn't want her daughter to grow in a traditional teahouse in a town, away from the city, near the countryside. She didn't want her to be hunted down like an animal. She wanted her little girl to be protected, to grow up well, away from here, and have a good life.
"Shh.. d-don't cry."
The younger brunette tried to hold back her tears and smile but sobbed even louder. As she realise her mother was getting colder and colder. She was like her, cold to touch. In fact, the older woman was much colder than her.
"P-pro-mise…me..." Her mother was starting to gasp for breath. The person who said was here to deliver the kimono ran into the room and yelled out of shock. It was a lady, dressed in a plain casual kimono. "Miyako-san… goodness. Are you alright?"
Shiho turned to the lady comforting Miyako by brushing her straight bangs aside, and pleaded. Panic and desperation in her voice. "She needs an ambulance fast. Please call, hurry!"
The woman nodded frantically and ran out of the room to make the call.
"You are going to be okay, Miy- … mother" Shiho paused briefly, and decided to call her by the term, which she almost slipped when she first met the woman. She looked like her mother, except for her height and the colour of her eyes.
The petite woman mustered a small smile at the word. Taking deep breath with much difficulty, she held her daughter's hand. She started to cough out blood as she tried to speak.
"I- I'm sorry, S-Shiho." Her voice coming out as a mere whisper.
"It's okay. I don't blame you…I'm happy to have found you." The younger brunette tried to hold back her tears but failed. "Thank you for all the birthday meals. I love it…"
She started to sob, wiping her tears with the back of her free hand. "I'm looking forward to have it with you every other year from now on."
"P-pro-mise me." She smiled at her daughter, squeezing her hand lightly.
"Anything, I promise." She started to cry. As much as she didn't want it to be like this, it is a fact. Her mother was dying.
"J-join ZAFT..."
What? Shiho went rigid with surprise and confusion. "You want me to enlist into the military?"
The woman nodded weakly, "on-ly Z-ZAFT".
Knowing that the younger brunette will have many question by now, Miyako squeezed her daughter's hand again. "Y-you are s-safe there. Promis-" She started coughing violently and choking on blood, which are flowing out from the corner of her mouth. Her mother's time was up.
Frightened and shattered as it dawned upon her, Shiho started sobbing uncontrollably. "I promise. I will enlist into ZAFT. I promise." The young brunette cried and sobbed loudly as she held her mother closer. "Don't go, please."
"Be safe, Chīsana hana..." Her voice was almost inaudible. Her gasp for breath was loud and laboured.
"Mother…" Shiho pulled back a little to caress the woman's face, taking in her misted doe-like eyes, and gentle smile.
"Haha wa, itsumo, Shiho ga anata o aishite"
(End of Flashback)
.
.
.
"Shiho?" Someone was shaking her gently by the shoulder. She was on something firm yet soft enough to feel comfy.
"Shiho, wake up." Recognising the voice was Yzak's, she opened her eyes to the sight of him above her, with worry and concern all over his face.
"Hey…" He stopped shaking her and brought his warm hand up and down her shoulder in slow, soothing rub.
Another lightning flashed. She squeezed her eyes shut and brought her hands to cover ears. She felt cold tears rolling down the side of her face and into her hair. That's right. Her mother died not long after she had finally found her. It was a heavy downpour like now. It felt as if her heart was held in death grip by an invisible hand. She couldn't breathe. It has been awhile now, and she still could not get over the devastation. She wonder if she ever will.
Worse, Yzak saw it all. He witnessed her reaction to lightning and thunder. He was likely to have a long list of questions for her. Then again, he might be surprised by that scene and decided not to ask her. Perhaps, he might even distant himself from her.
The hand on her shoulder was gone.
A rustle of sheets.
A dip in the comfy thing she was on. A hand slipped under her, past the small of her back. Another slipped under the back of her shoulder.
With a quick jerk, she was flipped to her side. Her face hitting something warm and hard, while her entire body was held against another. The thunder's crackle sounded much softer now, because loud steady heartbeat was echoing in her ears. "I'm here, Shiho. It's okay. Everything is going to be fine. I'm here."
It was Yzak. He was holding her close, on his bed, in his arms.
"I don't have those curtains that block out lights from outside but I hope this works." He said softly, as he pressed her closer against him. Her face was touching his heated skin, making it impossible for her, even with eyes closed, to notice the bright flash of another lighting. He pulled a thick blanket over her and all the up to top of her ear. A portion of it lightly rested on above her side of her closed eyes, making it even darker. Almost pitch black.
"Don't think about it, Housenka. Focus on breathing. Go back to sleep." His voice sounded almost like a whisper. Together with his warmth, enveloping her like a cocoon, the constricting pain in her heart was starting to ease away.
"Sorry to bother you like this…" Her voice was small, almost like a mouse.
He tightened his arms around her, pressing her soft body closer against his harder one. "Don't say that… you can depend on me too, you know."
She opened her eyes, lashes brushing against his chest, only to see darkness in front of her. Was she hearing things?
"No matter how I think of it, I don't know why you turned up that evening to report…" He said quietly.
"But I'm glad you did." He rested his head on top of hers and a helpless sigh slipped. "I don't know what had happened… I'm sorry that you are hurt."
His gentle words tugged her heart and tears began to well up. Simple words, yet they were as comforting as his embrace. There was no words for her to say. All she could do was to let the stray tears slipped as she closed her eyes and snuggled against him, seeking comfort in his warm arms, steady heartbeat and a replay of his words. Cherishing how endearing he was being. Wondering how long has it been since the last time she felt so relaxed while lying on the bed.
Just then, he shifted. Cold air from the heavy downpour outside sipped between their bodies, making her realised that he has pulled away. However, her sense of awareness seemed dull at the moment. She didn't know he had on her back until now, seeing him hovering over her. His elbows, one at the side of her head, propped his upper body up while his lower half rested on top of hers. His weight pushing her further into the sheets.
"Hey…" He said softly, as he brushed her bangs to the side. His pale blue eyes roaming all over her face, as she felt his finger traced a lazy aimless trail along the edge of her face. Filled with lazy wonder and an unrecognisable emotion in those ice-hued depth, his gaze was soft, an opposite of his usual unnerving stare. Surprisingly, it made her forget what was haunting her. His gaze brought a wave of quiet calm over her.
"Tell me when you are ready, Housenka..." He said softly, as his hand slid to her neck, cupping her face tenderly with his thumb caressing her cheek. It felt like they were having a secret exchange of words, between lovers.
"In the meantime… promise me one thing, okay?"
She swallowed in an attempt to find her voice but failed. She can't find it in her to speak yet. All she can do was to offer a brief upturn of her lips. He returned one immediately.
Lowering himself until their faces were a breath away, his blue eyes roamed every inch of her face. As if committing to his memory.
"Don't cry yourself to sleep."
Her heart stopped for a moment as her ears picked up those tenders words. Her heart then almost jumped out of her chest in the next when his lips gently touched her under eye - pressing a slow trail to the edge of her eye and down the side of her face, along her hairline. Each peck warmed her heart, while sending tingles down her spine. As he moved on to her right eye, the brunette finally realised what he was doing. Kissing her tears away. Or what was left of earlier.
Her heart swelled upon the realisation. No, it was about to burst. This was a first for her and it coming from Yzak, making the depth of emotions more intense. It felt as though she was dragged down a whirlpool of emotions and starting to drown but she was struggling. She couldn't find it in her to fight it. In fact, she liked it. It was new to her. It was refreshing to feel this way. Most importantly, it was from Yzak.
It was from the guy whom she was irritated with at first sight, only to fall uncontrollably fond of much later. Everything he did tonight made it difficult for her to not like him more. He picked her up from her apartment, helped her into and out of his car, discreetly held her when taking group photo, asked her for a dance, offered to cook dinner for her. Now, he is comforting her, after seeing a side of her which she kept it carefully locked away from everyone else. He offered her whatever he has to give - his bed, his personal space, his time, his embrace, his warmth. Not to make her feel better, but to be there for her. Not pitying her, but to give her a hand, hoping and letting her know that he will be there waiting for her, when she decided to open up and take a step towards him.
"You can always come to me… I'll hold you, like this." He added, stopping his sensual trail of pecks, only to look into her eyes, trapping her in those ice-blue gaze. "Just like how you did for me back then."
Brushing the back of his knuckles against her baby soft cheeks, he swallowed as the truth struck him - when and how it all started, for him.
"I think the lines blurred that evening."
Taking in her widened round eyes and feeling her form went rigid, he must have said his thoughts aloud. Her lips parted slightly, while her eyes darted left and right in attempt to pick up the slightest change in his expressions.
To the platinum blonde, everything started falling into place.
"You knew..." He said, hands sliding down to cup her face. "You felt it too..."
She tried to swallow the invisible lump in her throat without him noticing but failed miserably. His piercing orbs flicked to her throat for a second before making a slow trail up. As if he was studying the curves and dips of her neck, up to the side of her face and down her jaw.
She felt her breath hitched as she could not put a finger on the emotion swirl in his ice-hued eyes. There was a dangerous mix of realisation and something else… something predatory. The unique cool hue of those orbs and how they twinkle was not helping calm her racing heart and burning cheeks.
"All these time… you didn't talk about it. Not a word..." He leaned closer, while his gaze locked onto hers.
She broke the eye contact and looked away. Not wanting to let it rest, he held her chin and gently tilting to face him, he looked into her doe-like eyes, as it struck him deeper. "All those little things you did… were you waiting on me? Were you waiting for me?"
Uncertainty and hurt swirled in her pale purple orbs for a second before it disappeared and become a blank canvas of lilac.
"I don't know what you are talking about. Go to sleep. You are tired." She said in a flat tone, and pushed him to the side. Her sudden behaviour caught him off guard and soon, he found him on his back. In the meantime, the brunette turned away to the other side, with her back to him.
Reaching for her and throw in a quick flip, she was lying on her back again. With Yzak on top of her - just like how they were a second ago.
"Get off, Joule." She did her best to keep her poker face on as she tried to shove the platinum blonde off her again.
A frustrated sigh slipped from him. "I can't keep up with this. Every time we take a step towards each other, you push me back-"
"There is never a 'we', Yzak!" She snapped, cutting him off effectively.
"Then why the hell you came in that evening? Why did you even comfort me? What was that all about?" He was seething but thankfully, he didn't yell. Otherwise, her ears would be ringing by now.
At the moment, her hands were itching to leave his chest and circle around his neck, pulling him in.
Blinded by anger, he leaned in closer with every word. He is now a breath away. It wasn't helping in her attempt to get him off. In fact, it had a complete opposite effect. She wanted to explore every inch of him with her hands. She wanted to run her fingers over every raise and dips of that warm smooth skin over his hard, toned flesh pressing against her cold and softer one. The weight of him set her blood ablaze.
"You aren't supposed to be reporting count even." His voice grew quiet, even though anger was evident, lacing his words.
"You slipped up at my house earlier, twice... so why I can't do the same?" While her voice mirrored his, she was well aware that she was losing the fight. She grew comfortable with feel of his body pushing her slightly further into the bed. It reminded her of their escapade on the sofa, in her studio apartment. Contrary to what he thought, he wasn't crushing her. Unlike Dearka who was standing at 1.8m, Yzak is of average male height. It was the way he carried himself, that no-nonsense 'I-am-Alpha' stance, which made him come across as tall and domineering. Something which drew her in, as soon as he outgrew his crazy anger outbursts and temper fits. There was something very sexy about him when he is all serious, brooding and dominating.
"I did not-"
"Yes, you did!" She half-yelled. How the nerve he said that he didn't slipped up. He kissed her and yet couldn't figure why. Even though she responded, which contradicts her attempt to push him away, his actions pissed her off. The fire was burning, almost erupting into inferno.
"You don't even know why you kissed me! I bet it was your hormones for what we did after we kissed the second time! Isn't that slipped up? Or what? That you actually like me?! Just like how I do?!"
At the last line, the brunette gasped and quickly brought her hand to her gaping mouth in reflex. Oh god... what has she done? She literally yelled her secret wish that he will feel the same.
The man in front of her mirrored her shock expression, except that he didn't gasp or had a hand over his mouth. Instead, she felt his body tensed and rigid. With each blink, the shock on his face morphed into a frown. The surprise in his blue eyes turning into acknowledgment.
"You are right." He said quietly, blue eyes locked onto her, staring deep into hers.
"I think I like you, Housenka."
End of Chapter 4 (Part 3)
"Chapter 5 PREVIEW after Author's note (below)"
I hope you like Chapter 4 Part 3! I'm sorry about the long wait!
This chapter is the most challenging chapter to write so far. It wasn't just the number of scenes but also the emotional depth. Like Shiho's recap of her hot escapade with Yzak. Our favourite man's thought on Shiho's sudden meltdown. Shiho's flashback.
I was crying when I wrote the scene where Shiho's mother died and the whole conversation between her and Shiho. If I didn't nail the emotional aspect or description well, don't hate me. No flames please. I was busy wiping my eyes and quickly finishing that scene before the mood disappeared.
Remember Miyako used "Chisana Hana" when talking to Shiho? It means 'little flower'. You can see that she is very motherly and endearing towards our favourite girl, even though they have been apart for so many years.
You must also be wondering what Miyako said to Shiho before she passed away. "Haha wa, itsumo, Shiho ga anata o aishite" means "Mother loves you, always, Shiho"
It was a challenging scene to write but I did mentioned before that I want to build Shiho as a character, given that it was missing in GSD. Plus, I always wonder why she joined ZAFT. We are well aware why the leading characters in the anime series join ZAFT but not her because she is always in the background. So here it is, my take on Shiho's story / past.
I've always wonder why the straight bangs when animator draws beautiful eyes for almost everyone in the series. So, I made Miyako spotting straight bangs to make it look as if Shiho kept the bangs and her hairstyle (low ponytail with a ribbon, which is a common look in anime & manga set in early days of Japan) in memory of her late mother.
In case you can't picture how Shiho looked like in the ZAFT poster, the first poster where she was in a kimono, go to my Tumblr page ok? I've updated it with images that inspired that look. Shiho's kimono too. I don't have an image of it but my post will show the kimono that inspired the one Shiho wore and how the 2 lions are supposed to look.
By the way, the 2 lions are called 'Shisa'. They are known as 'guardian dogs' in mainland Japan. The Female has her mouth closed to keep in the good, while the male has his mouth open to scare away the bad. There are variations to this belief but I will stick to this version.
If it wasn't obvious in the story, Shiho is widely-known in the military as the one who took down EA's infamous trio - it did not happen in the manga but I want it. So yes, in my story, Shiho has made her name for herself, in addition to being famously known as the person who studies the 4 stolen G units and replicating the beam weaponry (not sure about the latter - if it is not, take that I made it up for the story).
In the eyes of the public, DEEP ARMS was seen as the hero for that particular battle against EA. As Shiho was not introduced as the soldier operating the 'Big Blue Machine with Big Red Flower". Now that ZAFT has decided to give her the credit, I think it is going to be more of a trouble than a good thing. Don't you find it strange? Why the hell would ZAFT reveal the identity of one of its ace pilot? Strange, no?
Talking about strange, remember Shiho's meeting with the 'burglar'. It's weird that she was aiming for the area between his spine and shoulder blade. As a stab deep enough can leave someone immobilise. Let me remind you, Shiho back then was schooling in an Arts school. So where did all these moves come from? And her mind-link with the 'burglar'. Miyakso's reason for giving her away and asking her to join ZAFT. All will be revealed in due time.
Refer to my TUMBLR account (jollydreamer or JOLLY DREAMER) for images of Shiho's kimono, settings & her pose in poster~
Leave a review, ya? I want to hear from you :)
Until next chapter, HUGS! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Chapter 5 PREVIEW
-SCENE 1-
(Television) "Yzak Joule, interim Supreme Council Member, was sighted with a couple of friends at the popular hangout spot, The Attic Place…"
Hearing his colleague's name brought Kira to an abrupt halt.
"What's wrong?" Lacus asked.
"Heard Commander Joule's name being mentioned on television. Didn't you hear it?" The young ZAFT commander replied.
He could have use the platinum blonde's name but they aren't close. Cordial because of Lacus and work but nowhere close to friendly. Not to mention that Yzak Joule is not the easiest person to hang out with. Sure, he has mellowed and not as hot-headed as before. However, the air Yzak had is… intense, in simple words. And he is not much of a talker.
The platinum blonde clearly had no interest in being friendly and chummy with him. Maybe because he is best friends with Athrun. He never knew why Yzak dislike Athrun. He did ask the blue haired Coordinator on several occasions. Apparently, Athrun is as clueless as he was. His best friend could only brush it off as the extreme competitive streak Yzak had.
(Television) "what got us interested was the brunette, who was with him. Or should I say, spotted to be by his side... almost all the time."
Judging from Lacus' slight widened eyes, she must have caught it too. "It can't be Shiho, right?"
…
Female broadcaster: "We have yet to confirm but looking at some of the photos taken and shared by members of the public and comments by some netizens and Yzak Joule's fans, the girl resembled this lady on ZAFT's poster. It is one of the many posters rolled out today in celebration of our founding day and the end of recent war."
Male broadcaster: "That's right. ZAFT mentioned in a statement previously that this year's celebration revolves around the unity shown by all during the war. Posters featured existing staff of ZAFT who served in the previous wars – both volunteers and full-time commissioned officers."
Female broadcaster: "Yes, it will showcase the diverse ethnic background and heritage of people of PLANTS. ZAFT wants to celebrate the unity of all citizens - who came together and going through the war together as a nation. ZAFT decided to roll out a campaign in appreciation of all its personnel and volunteers. Also, in remembrance to those who have passed."
Male broadcaster: "Exactly. And this is where it gets really interesting. The lady spotted with Yzak Joule yesterday seems to be of Asian descent and many said that she looks like the mobile suit pilot in this poster. Let's take a look."
-Image of two posters appear on screen-
Two posters appeared on screen, each presents very contrasting sides of Major S. H. of the Joule Team.
The first poster was rich and vibrant in colours. Major S.H. had very light and natural-looking make up applied, which hinted her young age. She was in a beautiful light blue kimono with extensive embroideries of Japanese flowers and lions. Her pin-straight dark-brown hair was tied in usual fashion - a low ponytail held together by a plain purple ribbon a couple of inches above the hair-ends. A big red camellia flower was tucked behind her right ear, which instantly see one associating it with the big red flower insignia on right shoulder of DEEP ARMS – featured in the second poster.
Back to the first poster, it reveals that she was walking over a giant root made from three intertwined roots of a toppled tree. Half-dried cherry blossom petals littered the cobblestone floor, which leads to a massive flight of stairs. She was at the bottom of stairs, leading up to an old Japanese shrine. Together with her kimono, one is likely to realise she is of Asian descent, Japanese to be specific. Lining the massive flight of stairs was bushes of bright red camellia in full bloom, similar to the one tucked in her hair. However, the brunette was not looking up the flight of stairs. At first glance, she appears to be taking a whiff of the white fennel flowers held in her hand. However, at a closer look, her eyes was glancing sideways with small almost-unnoticeable smile. It felt as if she was aware someone was behind or approaching her and her taking a whiff of the flower was just an act or a move to have the person come closer.
In an instant, the message was clear. The poster was reference to the epic battle between DEEP ARMS and the infamous Earth Alliance trio, Sakura Burst.
However, it was loaded image. The shot was designed to mock at EA's lost in one of the fiercest mobile suit operations launched by ZAFT. It was a quick yet intense fight. Amidst the usual mass offensive firing of warheads and frantic attempts of deterrence fires, the rest of the world was watching one bulky blue machine with a bright red flower insignia on its right shoulder going up against three lean and agile black-pink machines, which tried desperately to trap the blue giant with their usual moves
In the poster, the blue machine was represented by Major S.H., who was in blue kimono and with the bright red camellia tucked behind her right ear. Whereas, the giant root made of the three intertwined roots of a toppled tree referred to the fallen Sakura Burst. The half-dried cherry blossom petals that littered the cobblestone floor referred to how the Sakura Burst was defeated.
Shiho blew up her already overheating bean canons immediately after the remaining two black-pink machines fell into her trap, where she made a false opening for them to stab DEEP ARMS at non-vital points. Given the situation then, any opening for the enemy was a bonus because Shiho Hahnenfuss was known for her evasive ways, keeping a distance between her and the enemy - despite DEEP ARMS' lack of speed due to its bulky beam canons and thicker / heavier body. Back then, Shiho needed them to be close enough for the explosion of beam canons to end them instantly, hence, the opening. That battle was recorded by ground forces of both ZAFT and Earth Alliance, as per other battles. The latter lost their best mobile suit team and their stronghold under 30 minutes. ZAFT shared the footage via all national broadcast channels, online and offline media channels too. The 'Big Blue Machine with Bright Red Flower insignia' became a poster child of ZAFT's victory. It became an icon overnight, recognised and well-received by all citizens of PLANTS.
ZAFT's victory can be reflected with the abundance of bright red camellia flowers that lined the massive flight of stairs leading up to the old Japanese Shrine. The small cluster of white fennel flowers in Shiho's hands was referring to Yzak Joule. As the flower was half of the Joules' family crest, which was made up of a small cluster of white fennel flowers clipped with a trimmed stalk of the Tudor (red English) rose. It pointed to young Commander's English roots. He was Commander then - she was still in his team when she faced the Sakura Burst.
…
The second poster reveals the hangar. Major S.H. was in the new pilot suite - matte black with glowing blue piping. The red edge of the sut's high collar indicated that she was a Red Elite, top graduate of her cohort. Her dark brown locks pulled into a neat no-nonsense ponytail, while her blunt bangs covered part of her doe-like eyes, showing her signature intimidating Ice Queen look. She appeared to be walking towards an upgraded DEEP ARMS, in mid stride, when she did a half turn, as if someone called her from behind. Her insignia, the big red Housenka / Balsam flower, sewn onto the black material covering her upper arm, for all to recognise that she was hero who took down the infamous EA trio, Sakura Burst.
Right below her insignia was a very noticeable 'JOULE TEAM' iron-on patch.
…
-SCENE 2-
Fear, adrenaline coursed through her veins as it struck her. The next second went by in a blur. She quickly stepped into Yzak's position only to shove him roughly sideways and as far away as possible from her.
Something hit her from behind, throwing her forward. It hit her again for the second time, and she fell on the ground.
Chaos erupted. Everyone was screaming and yelling but all she hear was his voice. He was calling her but there was nothing she could do.
Her head started to throb. Air was knocked out of her when she was struck twice at the same area. In between her left shoulder and breast was a sickening burning sensation and something warm and sticky oozing, wetting her inner kimono and making it cling to her skin. A faint scent of copper hit her. Red was slowly seeping outward and staining the ground where she lay.
Blood. That was her blood. She was shot. Her lids felt heavy. The vision was starting to blur.
Someone was carrying her, running. He was yelling or speaking to someone. The bobbing made it difficult for her to stay awake. She was slipping. Her vision of the surrounding were in flashes.
Something slammed shut. Her ears picked up a familiar soft hum of her engine. That's right, Yzak's car. The quiet purr suddenly became a deafening roar. Screeching sound of tires rang in her ears.
Something firm yet warm descended on her burning wound and pressed against it, jolting her awake briefly. "Hang in there, Shiho. You are going to be alright." His voice echoed in her ears.
Despite the burning sensation and the searing pain, she struggled to raise her hand. "Yzak..." She felt colder by the second.
A quick switch, the hand on her shoulder holding her was pressing on her gunshot wound. While his bloodied hand caught her shaky hand in mid-raise. She felt weaker. She could barely tilt her head up slightly to see his handsome face, his beautiful piercing blue eyes.
"Save your energy. I need you to keep your eyes open." His voice was shaky. He sounded unsure and scared. Like that evening... Requiem.
Her lids were getting too heavy. Everything was getting darker. She was slipping again but this time, the pull was much stronger. Not wanting, not allowing her to be conscious of her surroundings.
"Don't you dare die on me woman!" He yelled, his voice briefly cutting through the murky waters she was sinking deeper and deeper.
A shaky breath. A kiss on her forehead. "Please, Shiho. Please, don't do this to me. I was thinking of ways to convince you to go on a date with me..."
A small bubble of laughter stuck in her chest. She wasn't sure if she was actually smiling or think she was smiling. Guess Dearka was right after all. She couldn't be any happier. Those words he said, it was good enough.
Tears rolled down her eyes. She wasn't sure if they were of joy or of disappointment that it was only now that she got the confirmation she was looking for.
She then felt his warm soft skin under her cold finger tips. She gathered whatever that was left in her to open her eyes, forcing them to focus on his beautiful face contorted into an upset scrunch, gritted teeth and tears threatening to slide down his cheeks. At least, he is alive. It was worth it.
The truth dawned upon her.
She looked at him, and she just love him, and it terrifies her. It terrifies her what she would do for him.
Yes... all because I fell in love with you, Yzak Joule.
END OF PREVIEW