Day Six.
9:20 am, Head Gamemaker's Office.
Today was a good day.
Sure, Leon probably felt that way because he was running on no sleep, Capitol-grade stimulants, and pure adrenaline, but the sentiment remained. It was barely mid-morning, and already he had great hope for the rest of the day. He just hoped that the tributes could prove him right.
He spun around in his chair, catching the table to stop himself in front of his personal map of the Arena. Tapping a few buttons on his desk, the map flickered and then separated into the four main floors. Twelve little lights flared to life, and Leon hummed to himself, standing up to pace around his desk. The top floor was finally beginning to clear out, which was perfect. He'd been hoping to shut that floor down soon. With only twelve tributes left in the Arena - hopefully less soon - he wanted to start shoving them closer together. Despite how well things had gone so far, Leon was antsy when it came to things happening - or, more accurately, not happening.
In his mind, there was a very delicate balance between the Games going on for too long and running too short. It depended on the tributes themselves, as some casts were more dynamic than others, able to carry on a longer Games without much pause. Leon had high hopes for this particular group.
The morning's events had finally split up some of the groups, and Leon squinted down at where everyone had scattered to. Justus and Alila were still at the Cornucopia, Makani was with Crush, Jack had wandered to the farthest corner of the wing before trying to get more sleep, Thay was just now beginning to wander around, and Phaedra…
A bright grin overtook his face. Now this was what he'd been waiting the whole Games for.
"You look insane," a dry voice came from behind him.
Leon spun around to face Reyna, holding his arms out to greet her. When she just raised an unamused brow, he shrugged and turned back to his map. "Maybe so, but it's the only way I'll get everything done."
"What are you trying to get done?" Reyna asked from over his shoulder.
"Can you get one of the clones to move the shell from the table in Sector B to the hallway when Crush and Makani leave?" he muttered distractedly, assuming that Reyna was taking notes behind him. "And then… make sure the planetarium is live on the bottom floor. I want everyone off the top floor by the end of today, so the grates need to be ready to go down."
The sound of a pencil scratching against paper indicated that Reyna was taking note of everything he was saying. But as Leon opened his mouth to continue, he felt something run into his shoe. Delighted, he scooped the offender off the ground.
"Lemon!" he cheered, patting the robotic hamster on its head. It wiggled in his palm under his touch, seemingly eager to be pet. Leon was more than happy to oblige as he thought.
"You kept that thing?" Reyna asked.
Leon gasped and put a hand to his chest, affronted. "Of course I did, dear Reyna! It would be rude to refuse such a kind gift!"
"I wouldn't call it a gift."
"Shh, you'll ruin the sentiment," Leon said, brushing her off. "And besides, his name is Lemon, show some respect."
Reyna heaved a sigh. "Hello, Lemon."
Leon grinned and set Lemon down on the table, watching as the hamster zoomed around the perimeter a few times before settling down in the middle of the bottom floor, nearly covering up the three dots that dictated where Lilith, Nash, and Merix were. The little hamster would periodically run off and do his own thing, but he always came back to Leon's desk at some point. Leon tended to share his ideas with Lemon, and the hamster was always very supportive.
"Is that all?" Reyna asked curiously.
"For now," Leon said, frowning to himself. "I'm watching all the pieces come together."
He heard the slightest shuffle before he saw her enter his field of vision again. "You act like you know what will happen next."
"I have my hunches," Leon said, a slight smirk on his face. "But it's not very fun if I can see the way it plays out until the end."
"Of course you hate predictability," Reyna muttered, leaning against his desk.
"It's horrendously boring when things go the way they're supposed to," Leon responded lightly. "That's why I had to get rid of Phaedra."
Reyna shot him a wary look. "Get rid of?"
"Naturally. That pesky destiny business has been getting on my nerves lately. What does destiny even mean, anyway? What's meant to be… that's not any fun at all, is it?"
"Hm?" Reyna glanced over at him.
Leon sighed quietly. "Where's the fun in creating a Games that someone is already predicted to win? Beyond predicted - destined. It sucks the joy out of the whole process, don't you think?"
"I… guess? I don't see the difference as long as there's a good show in the end," Reyna admitted.
"Precisely!" Leon sat back down in his chair and spun around until he nearly ran into the desk behind him. "A good show is what we need, which is why I wanted to get her on her own."
"And… what exactly do you have planned?" Reyna asked slowly.
"Well, if someone is destined to win, they'd be able to handle whatever I throw at them, right?"
Reyna frowned slightly. "I'm not quite sure that's how-"
"She's supposed to be the greatest warrior out of Two, and I haven't seen that in action yet," Leon said, cutting her off. "Luckily, I prepared for that. Her private session was beyond impressive, but I think I'm ready to see a bit… more from her."
"More how?"
"You've heard of the labyrinth, haven't you?" Leon wheeled back over to his desk and pressed a different button, highlighting the path that would take Phaedra down from the top floor to a special section of the basement. "There's a way out, surely, but she had to fight her way to it. If it's her destiny to win, then she can defeat anything in her path! It'll be a good show, don't you think?"
"You're lucky they split up when they did," Reyna said, hair falling in front of her face so he couldn't see her expression. "What was your plan if they didn't do that?"
Leon waved a hand dismissively. "Their little splitting up idea was half-baked. If they were that determined to leave, they could've just up and left. Sure, they would've had to bank on the others and their actions, so perhaps it's good that they did it this way. Otherwise, Kano was programmed to attack and kill Justus - or at least cause enough chaos that we'd get Phaedra alone anyway. Worst case scenario, I call in more clones. This outcome was inevitable."
"I thought you hated predictability," Reyna pointed out.
"The only thing I hate more is something else being in charge of my Games. I don't believe in that destiny nonsense. You either win or you die, that's all there is to it."
Reyna didn't respond, so Leon just leaned back in his chair contemplatively. The stimulants in his system prevented him from ever feeling a hint of weariness, but they also made him restless and agitated. They were more than worth the trouble, though, as Leon refused to give up any of his control over the Games if he could help it.
"What's your plan for her?" Reyna finally asked.
"Nothing for today." Leon watched her dot move around the room she was in, searching for a way back. "She'll soon realize that the only way is down, and that's where we'll begin tomorrow. Remember her private session? I want to begin pushing her limits right at the start. I've been examining certain skill sets and programming those in some of the old test clones. She can think of it like a training exercise."
"And what if she doesn't last through all of your little tests? There has to be a limit, even for her."
Leon just smiled lightly, watching her red dot continue its futile exploration. He'd long blocked off all of her other pathways, closing walls until she only had one place to go. There was no other way.
"Then I guess she wasn't the destined hero after all. That's all there is to it."
Destiny or not, the only thing truly controlling these Games was Leon himself. He'd never relinquish that control for anything.
9:24 am, The North Wing.
Crush wanted to go after Imperia, to tear her limb from limb, to show her that Crush wasn't the kind of person to be messed with, not when it came to Makani. This was her muse, what she had worked so hard to get, and Imperia had nearly ruined her. But she had to restrain herself. If she left Makani here, alone, then this was all for nothing. What if one of the Careers came by? What if something even worse came for Makani while Crush was distracted?
In the end, none of her thoughts mattered. She was at Makani's side in an instant, scanning her form for injuries. The girl was curled up on her side, staring at her hand in confusion; Makani appeared dazed, barely even noticing that Crush was there. She looked so small and frail and different from any way that Crush had seen her before. Some inexplicable emotion bubbled up in Crush's chest, but she pushed it aside for now.
She had to help. After all, this way she could be Makani's savior.
"Alila?" Makani muttered, her eyes dazed as she lifted her head up.
Checking over her shoulder quickly, Crush was relieved to discover that no one was there, but her relief was quickly replaced with dismay. She couldn't fathom that there was someone else Makani was searching for in a situation such as this one. Had she truly misjudged the relationship between Makani and the One girl? Was there something she had to worry about?
Jealousy flared up within her, and Crush was struck with a thought. There was a way where she and she alone could have Makani. If it wasn't possible that only Crush could have her, then perhaps no one should.
She pondered that for longer than she wanted to admit, only giving up the idea when Makani spoke up again.
"Crush?" she asked, familiarity in her tone.
"Uh," Crush said intelligently. "Yes."
"Are you…?" Makani trailed off, her eyes suddenly full of caution.
"I can help," Crush said quickly, holding her hands up to show that she had no weapons on her - well, none in her hands, anyway.
Makani slowly sat up, holding the wrist of her broken hand. Crush thought Makani looked similar to a frightened creature, eyes wide as if Crush would turn on her any moment. Her wrist was already beginning to swell, no longer the dainty hand that Crush had held while they danced so long ago. That was worlds away by now, but Crush would never let go of that memory.
"We can go somewhere safer," Crush offered. "This isn't a good spot."
"In a minute," Makani said faintly. "I don't feel well."
Crush just nodded, more than willing to stay by her side until she was able to get up. She was itching to run, to get out of there, but right now Makani's safety was more important than any of that. Crush wouldn't put her in harm's way again.
Instead, she spent her time trying not to noticeably stare, even though Crush was doing exactly that. Her mind was already whirling with artistic possibilities, the new expressions she got by seeing Makani's face up close. She wondered what all she'd be able to capture in that stone.
"Okay," Makani said after a few minutes. "I… think I'm okay."
Crush got up, immediately taking a step towards the closest mirror. She was hoping to get out of there as soon as they could, but she wasn't able to get far before Makani spoke up.
"Wait," Makani whispered, wrapping a hand around Crush's arm. Crush tried not to short circuit at the contact, simultaneously wishing that she wasn't wearing her jacket and grateful that there was a barrier there. "Can we check the Cornucopia? Alila's probably worried about me."
Right. Alila, of course. Crush had nearly forgotten about that pesky little parasite. She desperately wanted to say no, to insist that they had to leave now, but instead she found herself opening her mouth and saying, "Sure."
Makani beamed and tightened her grip on Crush's arm, using it for support as they moved back down the hallway towards the Cornucopia. Their pace was nothing more than a slow trudge, minutes creeping by as Makani led them back to where the Careers awaited her. Crush was beyond aware of how dangerous this could be for her, but she was unable to reject any of Makani's desires. All she could hope was that they were gone, or perhaps that she could take one of them in a fight. Crush reached her hand into her pocket and made sure that she had her chisel safely stored away. There was no telling when she'd need it.
Makani's pace picked up the closer they got to the Cornucopia. But just outside the door, she nearly stumbled into the wall, even with Crush's assistance. Crush whipped her hand out of her pocket to steady her, careful to avoid Makani's broken hand in the process.
"Sorry," Makani murmured, touching her head gently. "I guess I'm dizzier than I thought."
Fucking Imperia, Crush seethed, wishing for a moment that she'd followed the girl and torn her to pieces. But Makani probably wouldn't like to see that. Besides, she couldn't let Makani stay in the hall all alone, not after everything Crush had suffered to get to her. Imperia was unbearable even in short doses, and having to deal with her for a full day was downright miserable, even when she was doing her best to make sure Imperia was uncomfortable as well. Someday, Crush would find a way to make her pay for what she'd done.
Today might not be that day, but whenever the opportunity came, Crush would be ready.
After taking a moment to collect herself, Makani staggered towards the door, leaning more heavily on Crush as they went. But as they crossed through the doorway, a small gasp left Makani's mouth, and Crush was quick to understand why.
Beyond a few half empty backpacks, there was nothing in the room at all. The Cornucopia itself was devoid of any life, as if no one had ever been there. In just a short span of time, the Careers had completely abandoned their post, and Crush couldn't even begin to imagine why.
"There's no one here," Makani said softly, her face crestfallen. She slowly relinquished Crush's arm and took a few shaky steps into the room. "They… left me?"
A flash of anger ran through Crush at Makani's words. Of course, her plan was to get Makani away from the rest of the Careers, but she hadn't expected them to just up and leave her. Their sheer audacity, their willingness to leave behind the best person in the Arena… it was downright despicable. The look on Makani's face didn't help matters; Crush could barely watch as Makani stubbornly tried - and failed - to prevent tears from falling.
Crush wanted to end every single one of the people that put that look on Makani's face.
"I know somewhere we can go," Crush suggested, voice rough as she spoke. "If, uh… if you want."
Makani sniffled quietly, holding the wrist of her broken hand close to her chest. She stayed silent, surveying the empty room, and then turned her face towards Crush and nodded. In that moment, Crush was nothing less than a hero; clearly the look in Makani's eyes could only mean adoration and gratefulness.
"I'd like that," Makani said softly, her voice barely loud enough to be heard.
Wordlessly, Crush placed a gentle hand on Makani's back and began to lead her back to where they'd come from. The other girl shuffled towards the door without much prompting, letting Crush herd her away from her allies, wherever they might be.
And, for a moment, everything was okay. Crush had everything she wanted in the palm of her hand; she just had to get back to her workspace. She'd been climbing towards the stars for days, and now they were finally just within reach. Perfection was nearly hers, and all she had to do was grab it. There was nothing that could stop her.
But even still, there was a restlessness in her heart that she couldn't place, a lingering voice telling her that this wouldn't be enough, that this would never be enough. Perfection was a construct in her own mind and she'd never be able to go toe to toe with a concept of her own creation. Would any muse allow her to craft the unthinkable? Would any work be able to compare to her inspiration?
Was her magnus opus even a possibility?
"Crush?" Makani asked, tugging on her jacket. "What are we doing here?"
They'd stopped in front of one of the mirrors, Crush pausing to let Makani go first. "You can go through."
Despite her wary look, Makani didn't hesitate before putting a hand to the mirror and making a surprised noise when it went through. She slowly maneuvered her whole body inside before disappearing from Crush's line of sight.
Distantly, Crush could hear voices start to pick up, and she knew they had to go now. There was still so much that she wanted to do in this Arena, and she couldn't risk getting caught by anyone, not now. Not when she'd gotten so close to finally getting everything she'd ever wanted.
Ever so slowly, she ducked her head and crawled through the mirror as well, immediately relieved that Makani was still there. Makani turned and faced her with a bright smile, the kind that could only be reserved for Crush.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"Somewhere safe," Crush responded. And away from everyone else.
"Okay," Makani agreed, giving her a firm nod. "I trust you."
She'd end them all if she had to, end everyone that had ever brought a frown to Makani's face. Imperia for hurting her, Alila for abandoning her, and everyone in between. For now, though, Crush was nearly content with what she had.
Nearly.
So she led Makani out the door of the small room they'd found themselves in, cherishing the trust Makani had given her as if it was the most precious thing in the world. Perhaps it was, because in this moment, her presence was all that mattered to Crush as they descended into the darkness.
And, ever so slowly, the mirror closed behind them, sealing them away.
9:28 am, The Cornucopia
No matter how fast he ran, she was always a few steps ahead of him, just out of reach. Her laugh rang in his ears, a distant memory even though she was right in front of him. He reached out an arm, and a few strands of her hair brushed against his fingertips before she slipped out of his grasp. It was futile - no matter what he tried, he couldn't catch up. She was escaping, and there was nothing he could do to stop her.
Forcing himself to go faster, faster, faster, Justus felt as if he was about to snap into a million pieces. His skeleton was about to fall apart at the seams, his joints unraveling as he pushed his body to its limits. A wind buffeted him, tried to push him back, but Justus forged onwards, refusing to give up.
And finally, he managed to grasp her arm, his skin crawling as he did so. She turned to look at him, a bright smile on her face that soon clouded over with apprehension. It was almost as if she didn't recognize him at all.
"Who are you?" Phaedra asked, removing her arm from his grasp and taking a step back.
Justus opened his mouth to answer, but no words came out, only a sharp gasp. It felt like something was crawling under his skin, a million tiny scorpions performing their restless dance. When he looked down, he could see their movement along his veins, and a sharp stinging began, traveling all over his body.
He heard a gasp and glanced up to see Phaedra falling to her knees. Justus instinctively reached out to catch her, to help her, but when his hands met her body, she turned into ash, sticking to his skin. He wanted to scream, to cry out for help, but darkness swallowed him soon after that. The only things that kept him company were the scorpions, continuing their mocking dance.
Never the hero of the story, always the damsel in distress.
Scratching his leg, Justus tried to fend off the memories of the tracker jacker venom. Now wasn't the best time for him to reminisce, especially about something like that. Even if Phaedra was gone again, there was no cannon yet, and she'd never forget him.
He had to keep believing that.
The fingers of his left hand tingled, largely numb save for the pulsing pain that sometimes traveled down the length of his arm. He was lucky that it was only his dominant arm, but still, a dislocated shoulder this late in the game wouldn't do him any good.
"Ready?" Alila asked, hovering over him. "This is probably going to hurt quite a bit."
Justus shifted uncomfortably, the wooden floor hard under his back. "I guess," he muttered, trying to keep his eyes trained on the ceiling. "Have you ever done this before?"
"Are you sure that's a question you want to know the answer to?"
Thinking it over for a second, Justus shook his head. "Not really. Just… get it over with, please."
He could feel her gripping his wrist with both hands, pausing before she did anything more. "You have to keep your arm relaxed, or else I won't be able to get it back in. Got it?"
"Got it," Justus said through gritted teeth. "Relaxed."
Letting out a slow breath, Justus closed his eyes and tried to relax his entire body. It was hard to do so, as he hadn't felt particularly relaxed since yesterday, but hopefully it would be enough. If anything, he wanted to get this over with so he could ask Alila why she bothered staying to help.
He let out a hiss as she started to move his arm, keeping it straight until it was a few inches from his body. Justus forced himself to keep breathing slowly, counting each exhale. After he got to ten, he felt a pressure on his arm, as if Alila was pulling on it. There wasn't anything he could do besides stay relaxed, so Justus just hoped that it would be over soon.
After what felt like an hour but was probably only a few minutes, the pain lessened to a dull ache, accompanied by a strange sliding sensation in his shoulder. His entire body shuddered, but things at least seemed to be better than before.
"There, you should at least be stable now," Alila said, moving away from him. "We should have something to turn into a sling for your shoulder somewhere around here…"
Justus opened his eyes and carefully sat up, wary of moving too much without a sling to keep his arm steady. He watched Alila rifle through several of the bags before coming up empty, her eyes turning to the fallen clone a few feet away. She approached it, prodded its side with her foot a few times, and then shrugged and started removing its jacket.
"Why are you helping me?" Justus asked when she got closer, brandishing the stained white jacket. "You could've left after you killed it."
"As the last two left here, I figured it was best for us to stick together, at least for now," Alila responded as she slowly bent his arm, then cradled it in the jacket before tying the sleeves around his neck. "We both have something we want, so we should help each other find it."
"Aren't you worried I'll hold you back?"
Alila briefly looked him up and down. "I can hold my own."
Justus frowned at that, but he shrugged it off and managed to get to his feet. It felt odd to have one arm out of commission for a while when he already considered himself the weakest of his allies, but he couldn't linger on that now. Not when Phaedra needed his help.
"Where is Phaedra, anyway?" Alila asked, grabbing two backpacks and putting them on. "I mean, I figure you guys were about to head out."
"We were," Justus said with a sigh. "She was going to get our stuff and I was supposed to meet her there."
"That plan clearly went well," Alila muttered.
"At least we had one," Justus snapped, stepping closer to her. "You just let Makani run off on her own and who knows what's happened to her now."
"She can make her own decisions!" Alila jabbed a finger at his chest. "She wanted to be on her own for a few minutes, so I didn't push it. Maybe I should've, and maybe you should've gone with Phaedra, and maybe there were a million other things we could've done, but this is what we're stuck with now."
"Fine then! Let's go find Phaedra," he exclaimed, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and heading towards the door.
Alila didn't move to follow him. "What about Makani?"
"What about her?" he asked, glancing back at her. "We can try to find her after Phaedra."
"Why does Phaedra get to be first?" Alila insisted, holding her ground. "We already know that she can hold her own. Wherever she is, I'm sure she doesn't need any help."
"Fine, say we go for Makani first," Justus said, growing irritated. "Where did she even head off to? Phaedra and I at least had a meeting spot, so we can check there first."
Alila appeared irritated by his point, but she didn't refute it. "Whatever. Let's just make it fast. We both already learned that splitting up isn't a great option, so let's just… go try finding Phaedra."
She strode off without another word, radiating annoyance with every step. Justus didn't particularly feel like getting into another fight today; and at the very least, keeping her around meant that he had someone that could actually fend for herself. Justus himself certainly wasn't in a state to be much help to anyone, not even Phaedra, and that thought alone was enough to make him follow after Alila.
"How far away were you supposed to meet?" Alila asked from where she stood in the middle of the hallway.
"Not far," he admitted, leading her to the end of the hallway and then gesturing into the room where they had been storing their belongings. "The goal was to never get too far apart, but you can see how well that went."
She didn't bother responding to that, instead glancing around the hallway. Justus wasn't quite sure what she was looking for, but he certainly wasn't going to stop her. About halfway down the hallway, Alila frowned and paused, causing Justus to nearly run into her. "That's weird," she muttered, taking a step towards the wall.
"What is?" Justus asked. He followed her gaze to the mirror on the wall which had fractured, thick cracks splintering their reflection. "I've never seen one of them look like that."
"Me neither," Alila muttered, running her hand along the side of the mirror. Justus watched her lightly before jumping as she slammed her foot into the base of the mirror.
"What was that f-"
"Phaedra!" Alila called, kicking the mirror again. "Phaedra, are you there?"
He opened his mouth to get her to stop, worried that someone might come their way, but he shut it just as quickly. They still hadn't run into anyone out here, and he'd do whatever it took to get her back safely. If Alila was willing to try it, then so was he.
"Phaedra!" he tried, leaning against the wall. "Phaedra, are you okay?"
There was a slight scuffle and then a thud. Alila and Justus exchanged a look before glancing back at the mirror.
"Justus?" Phaedra's voice was muffled by the wall, but Justus could still tell it was her. "I'm fine, just locked in here. I'm sorry for-"
"No, I'm sorry," Justus said hurriedly. "We shouldn't have separated. Is there a way out of there? Are you alone?"
"Only one from what I can tell," she replied, and there was something odd about her voice that she couldn't place. "It leads down, but I'm not sure where. I haven't been able to get back through this mirror, so… I guess I'm stuck. And I'm alone now. She disappeared as soon as I got in here."
Justus nodded to himself. Of course he'd have to permanently leave the top floor at some point. There was nothing up here for him anymore if the pack had dissolved, so it's not like he'd be leaving anything behind.
"She?" he asked, the last part of her response finally registering. "Who did this?"
"It was… me? She looked like me. And you led me here, but it wasn't you either."
Justus swore under his breath. "Kano wasn't real either. He claimed it was all a distraction."
There was a soft thunk before Phaedra said, "I'll get out of here though, I'll tell you that much. I'm going to head down, and then…"
"I'll find you," he promised, leaning his forehead against the mirror. "Wherever you are, I'll find you."
"I know," Phaedra said almost too softly to be heard. "I love you."
"I love you too. Stay safe. We'll see each other again."
Justus let out a shaky sigh, wishing there was anything else he could do. He latched his fingers onto the mirror, trying to pull it away from the wall with one hand, but it didn't budge at all. He desperately wanted to keep trying, to find a way, but deep down he already knew it was useless. She was slipping out of his fingers again. There was never a way to stop it.
"There's no use," Alila said, calmly watching him pry at the mirror. "If I couldn't at least kick a few shards loose, you've got no shot at opening it with your one good hand. We'll find her, okay?"
"You could still leave now," Justus said softly, leaning his head against the wall. "I've made you waste enough time looking for Makani."
"Nice try," Alila shot back, narrowing her eyes. "You made me waste plenty of time around the Cornucopia for five fucking days, so get over yourself and help me out. I don't have any more time for moping around."
"Which way did she go?" Justus asked, hoping to keep them moving.
"She went out of one of the other doors," Alila said with a sigh. "I'm not sure exactly where, though."
"There hasn't been a cannon, so she's gotta be fine," Justus declared, walking back towards the Cornucopia. "We'll find her too."
But without a clear direction, there wasn't much they could do. Alila was more rushed than he was, but with nothing but empty hallways all around, they still came up empty handed. There was no sign of life at all, as if they were the only people left on this floor.
"Still nothing?" Justus asked, approaching her as they scanned the hallway again. "We can try ano-"
"Fuck," Alila breathed, scooping something off the floor. "She was here."
"How do you know?" Justus asked, trying to see what she was holding.
Alila opened her hand to reveal a small shell, looking rather inconspicuous in the grand scheme of things.
"Her token," Alila explained, her eyes glued to it. .
"At least there's no blood here," Justus tried, noticing that there wasn't much of anything in the hallway besides that shell. It almost felt like a misdirect, but he wasn't sure how or why.
Alila cursed again, clenching the shell so tightly in her hand that he was scared it would break. "She really is gone."
"You'll be able to get it back to her," Justus said. "You can-"
"Don't lie to me too," Alila snapped, whirling towards him. "I'm really glad you and Phaedra have managed to delude yourselves into thinking this isn't the end, but after five days of being here, I'm not so sure I want to be that foolishly optimistic anymore."
"If you're so sure we won't find them, then why are you bothering to stick around?" Justus asked, growing irritated. "We can just split up now."
A silence fell over them, and Justus waited for her to agree, to tell him that maybe they were better on their own, but she didn't answer. Instead, there was a reluctance to her expression that Justus was sure mirrored his own.
"This was meant to get us all on our own," Alila muttered quietly. "If we're still together for now, then I don't want to give that up and fall into whatever trap was set for us."
"So, we're still allies?"
Alila laughed hollowly. "Yeah. I guess we're all that's left."
When he wanted to split from the pack, Justus hadn't thought he'd end up with Alila of all people. But he supposed he had to work with the cards he was dealt. There was no way to go back now.
He couldn't give up. He had to keep going. For his sake - and, more importantly, for Phaedra's.
Time Unknown, Location Unknown.
Kano's mind wouldn't stay quiet.
The halls before him were endless, and every one of them looked the same. He wasn't sure how far he'd gone or where he was or what he was doing. Every time he closed his eyes, the sounds became too overwhelming. All he wanted was to lay down, to slip into oblivion again, but he couldn't. He wouldn't.
Kano felt like sleep would never come again.
Every step was a fight, one that Kano wasn't sure if he was winning. Half the time, he could barely do more than lean against the wall for support. He'd never felt this- this weak in his life, and it was beginning to engulf him. The years of doing everything in his power to fight, to train, to win, to please everyone around him, to become what they all wanted, it was all meaningless because all Kano ever did was fuck things up.
A shuddering breath left him. He put a hand to his side, and it came away bloody from the simple exertion of walking. Kano wanted to scream, to curse, to fight, but he hardly had the energy to continue his slow trudge down the hallway.
God, was this what dying was like?
No, it couldn't be. Kano wasn't ready to die. He didn't want to die. There was so much more he had to do.
(If he lied to himself, he could pretend like he wasn't really scared of dying. He wasn't sure how effective his lie was.)
Give up now.
"I can't," he whispered.
There's nothing for you here.
"There has to be something."
He couldn't be done, not yet. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Where had it all gone wrong? Kano had been happy not too long ago, and now he was stranded in a tumultuous storm of his own making. And god, how he hated storms. He was never able to hear the sound of thunder without thinking of his childhood, devoid of the comfort he so desperately craved. All he ever had was himself and the reminder that real men were never scared of anything.
(But Kano was tired of lying, tired of pretending. Maybe it would be okay if he was scared sometimes, right?)
Maybe he was like one of those tragic heroes his father had always scoffed at in books, too foolish to realize that they were doing nothing more than trudging towards their own deaths. Maybe that's all he'd ever been: prepared by everyone around him to go off and die unceremoniously.
Squeezing his eyes shut, Kano leaned his head against the wall. There was an unfamiliar tightness in his throat, one that wouldn't go away no matter what he tried. His chest rose and fell quickly, as if he was out of breath, but he was doing nothing more than standing. When his eyes opened again, his vision was blurry, and Kano was horrified to realize that he was on the verge of crying.
How had he fallen so far?
"No," he choked out, the word barely more than a whine. "No, I can't."
Can't what?
He didn't know. Kano didn't know anything. He was so tired, so beyond weary, and he couldn't manage to focus on anything around him. Angrily, he swiped at his eyes, a few tears glimmering on his skin when he brought his hand back.
Gritting his teeth, Kano forged onwards despite his dawning realization that he was caught in a riptide, sweeping him out to sea. He didn't have anything that could bring him back to shore. He was so far away from home, so far away from the ones he loved and the ones he didn't. Kano wanted to go back, but what if there was nothing there for him anymore?
There was nothing that could save him, and maybe there never was.
In the distance, Kano heard something almost like a laugh, and he dug his nails into his hand almost painfully. He couldn't even tell if it was really there or not. Maybe it was all in his head again.
Taking in a gasping breath, Kano pushed himself away from the wall again. He wavered in the hallway, adrift and without anywhere to go. He couldn't go home, not when Lyre was there, waiting to say she was right about him all along. Kano desperately didn't want her to be right, but… but…
The walls around him were starting to close in, making Kano's heart race faster, faster. He had to find a way out before he was swallowed alive, never to be seen again. His hands trembled at his sides as his legs refused to move, refused to carry him away.
Too much of a coward to even move, the voice said.
This time, Kano wasn't sure he had an answer.
His chest was tight, as if he was truly drowning. Kano couldn't breathe except for short gasps. He was useless, he couldn't do anything at all. How could he expect to help others if he could barely help himself?
(And maybe, just maybe, he'd never been able to do anything for himself, not really. If his whole life was lived for others, then what did Kano have left?)
Kano forced himself to take a step, and then another. He wished he had something, anything to numb the pain, but perhaps he was beyond help by now. There was nothing he had left, nothing to confront other than his own weakness. The harder he tried to push it away, the tighter it held on.
His father would be so disappointed in him.
And then… there was that noise again.
Kano tilted his head to the side, listening intently. It was familiar somehow, though he couldn't place it. At least this gave him something to do, somewhere to go. Kano longed for something concrete, something to tether him even if it was for an instant. He was slipping away, but Kano so desperately wanted to keep going.
His hand found the wall again; he let himself drift in the direction of the noise. It gnawed at him, wanting him to understand even though he didn't feel like he had all of the pieces, like a puzzle he didn't know how to put together even though he knew he should.
He missed the days when he was happy, lifeguarding back home. There was a simple joy that he hadn't known how to appreciate until it was gone. But even then, there was an emptiness inside Kano that he didn't know how to fill. At this rate, he didn't think he ever would. Maybe he'd go his whole life partially unfulfilled and unable to understand why.
They were voices, loud ones. Kano didn't recognize either of them, but he could finally place why he knew it. It reminded him of lifeguarding and the chaos where he had to pick out if anyone truly needed help.
This he knew. This he could do. Surely Kano couldn't be done yet. Not yet. He could still help someone.
You can't even help yourself, the voice insisted.
"I don't need to," he muttered. "I just have to show them all."
Always so focused on others.
Kano didn't know what to say to that. It was how he'd always been, how he was supposed to be. Training was the only way he could convince his parents that he had worth, and so he'd thrown himself into it. The only way he could achieve some kind of worth was if someone else gave it to him. There was always an insatiable need to prove himself to others, no matter the cost.
No matter the cost.
Kano would do what needed to be done. It was the only way.
3:48 pm, Bottom Floor of The North Wing.
"Wow," Merix whispered, craning his head back to stare up at the ceiling. "Is this what the stars really look like?"
Nash looked just as entranced as Merix did, a gentle smile on his face. "Mostly. Even with the lights off in Five, I've never seen them quite this clearly. But, of course, they're much cooler in person, even if they aren't this bright."
Merix nodded wisely. "I bet we could find some real stars once we get out of here."
"What District do you think would be the best for looking at stars?" Nash asked curiously, milling about the room under the large dome. "I think Ten, since they've gotta have all that space for animals."
Humming to himself, Merix thought about it for a minute before settling on, "Eleven. They're agriculture, so they need even more space for crops. Besides, they probably have orchards and one of those trees could give you a good place to look at the stars."
"No way!" Nash looked nearly affronted by his suggestion, but his tone indicated that it was all in jest. "You have to be up on a hill or something, that's way more comfortable than a tree!"
Merix couldn't really argue with that, as he hadn't exactly climbed many trees in his life. For one thing, there were barely any trees in District Three, and besides, Merix had always been more fond of the indoors. Inside there was only him and Agoura, where they could be happy and content without the burden of being around people that looked down on them. They were never good enough for anyone but each other.
Perhaps that's why it was so odd to have friends, especially ones like Nash and Lilith. He didn't have to prove himself to them in any way. Nash in particular believed in him so fiercely that Merix wondered how he'd gone his whole life without his support. His loyalty was unrelenting, even though Merix was certain he'd never done anything to earn it. If he said it out loud, Nash would probably just laugh and say he never had to earn anything, but that didn't make Merix understand any better.
"Are there many hills in Five?" Merix asked curiously, wanting to get the subject out of his mind.
Nash gave him a noncommittal shrug. "There are enough. I watch the stars with my friend Seiren all the time. It's easy enough to find a good spot, but the most important part is who you're with."
"That makes sense," Merix said, nodding along. "So you watch the stars with Seiren because you like him a lot!"
"What gave you that idea?" Nash appeared high-strung all of a sudden, waving his hands frantically.
Merix blinked and raised an eyebrow. "You said you were friends?"
There was a long moment where Nash stared at him blankly before he said, "Oh! You meant- oh… Yeah! We're great friends! The best of friends, even!"
Merix had even less of an idea what to do with that response, so he just slowly nodded his head. "Okay…" he muttered, dragging out the word.
Without waiting to see what else Nash had to say, Merix headed to the perimeter of the room. There were no corners, as the whole thing was essentially a circle with a slightly domed ceiling. The perimeter held different lights and switches, which Merix assumed could control the display above. The milky way was displayed, nearly a picture perfect rendition of something Merix could read in his textbooks, but this was much different. The stars felt bigger, closer, more tangible than anything he'd seen before. It now made sense to Merix why Nash was so disappointed that the rooftop in the Capitol couldn't show them any more stars. This display, despite it being manufactured and therefore not real, was truly breathtaking.
Making a face, Merix frowned at the control panels in front of him. He wanted to figure out exactly how they worked so he could manipulate them to his advantage, see if he could get the ceiling to display anything else. With more time he certainly could figure out how to, but the early stages would be a bit of a guessing game.
Cautiously, he lowered one of the levers, making a surprised noise as the lights dimmed even further, eliminating any harsh brightness that might have obscured a clear view of the stars above. That was easy enough, so Merix stroked his chin contemplatively, just like his dad did when he was deeply invested in his work. Perhaps that would help him figure out how to work the control panel.
"Hey, Merix?"
"Yeah?" Merix turned back to face Nash, who looked truly uncomfortable for the first time since the Arcturus situation.
"I, uh…" Nash rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I'm sorry for acting so weird all of a sudden. I really hope I haven't been worrying you or anything."
"You're okay," Merix said immediately, a slight smile on his face. "I mean, we all get a little worried in situations like this, right?"
"Yeah," Nash said with a laugh. "I guess you could say I'm scared of a little more than just ghosts."
Merix did his best imitation of Nash, puffing out his chest and saying, "That's okay! I'm not scared of any ghosts, so I'll protect you!"
Nash's mouth dropped open. "Are you mocking me?" he asked, a grin slowly spreading across his face. "I'll tell Lily Bean when we get back!"
Snickering quietly, Merix said, "You know she'll just side with me."
"Untrue!" Nash cried dramatically, pointing a finger at Merix. "Our dear friend Lilith would never betray me like that!"
"She could help protect you from ghosts though!" Merix insisted through giggles. "One shot from that crossbow, and bam!"
"Weren't you the one saying earlier that ghosts were intangible?" Nash asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Only because you said you wanted to fight one," Merix teased. "Now that's silly."
Nash squawked and made a face. "That's not silly at all! I'll show you!"
Merix let out a bright laugh, dodging Nash's outstretched hand. A few weeks ago, if he was in this type of situation, he'd immediately start running for his life. But now… well, now Merix knew that this was just how some people had fun. It almost reminded him of what some other kids did on the playground, though he'd never been part of anything like that. Besides, it was easy enough to dodge Nash's playful moves, which clearly lagged behind what he was truly capable of.
He wasn't sure what the shift was, but he felt it all the same. Breathless, Merix caught the way that Nash straightened upon seeing something, and Merix could almost see his mind working something out. He turned his head to see what it was - a figure, just a figure in the doorway - but couldn't determine who it was before getting harshly shoved to the side.
"Get out of the way, Merix!" he heard Nash cry as he pushed Merix to the ground. Dazed, Merix tried to regain his bearings, wondering what had happened. Clearly it wasn't Lilith that had come back - or maybe it was one of those clones? The figure had perhaps looked big enough for it to be Arcuturus again, and the mere thought sent a shiver running down his spine. But the reality was far worse; Merix froze in place when he looked up and saw who it really was.
A Career.
Frantically, Merix tried to remember who was still alive. He'd only seen the One boy's face in the sky, and this was also a boy, so he could only be from Two or Four. Merix remembered thinking that the Two boy looked kind and almost sad at the party, as he hadn't done well in the private sessions either.
Four, who was Four… Merix's mind was working too quickly, like a computer being overwhelmed by the information it was receiving. He squeezed his eyes shut briefly - Kano, his name was Kano. He'd gotten a 9 during his private session and had appeared surprisingly put out about his impressive predicted placement of fourth .
Merix wanted to kick himself for getting so involved with his own alliance that he hadn't managed to notice as much about others. He wished he could recall what weapon Kano used or what he did in the bloodbath, but all he was drawing was a giant blank.
Scrambling to his feet, Merix could only watch with wide eyes as Kano tackled Nash, pinning him to the ground. There was suddenly blood smeared on the ground, and Merix let out a squeak at the sight. He couldn't tell where it had come from, but he caught sight of a knife gleaming at Kano's hip and knew there wasn't much time.
Taking a few staggering steps back, Merix wondered if Lilith was within yelling distance. Maybe she'd hear him and come running, but they hadn't seen her in hours. They'd gotten sidetracked, and while they'd briefly met back up after the computer room, that was it. They'd wanted to search more rooms, gotten too comfortable with the fact that they hadn't seen anyone else in days. It hadn't occurred to them that a Career would come down so far. Merix had forgotten that this was the Hunger Games. People could die here.
He couldn't avoid that truth any longer.
Merix wavered where he stood, watching Nash's attempt to block Kano's fists with his hands, a desperate grapple that he was slowly losing. Nash's eyes widened as he realized Merix was still there.
"Go!" Nash yelled, moving his head to avoid a punch. "Get out of here, Merix!"
Kano didn't even flinch, as if he hadn't noticed Merix's presence at all. He seemed laser focused on taking down Nash, and it was looking like Nash was running out of time.
A faint thought tickled at the edges of his mind, an idea that had stuck with him ever since their run-in with Arcturus. Maybe his allies weren't as invincible as he thought. Despite Merix looking up to them, they were still flesh and blood and could be killed. They weren't some invulnerable heroes like Merix sometimes pretended they were.
Nash had made a promise to always be there for Merix, so Merix was willing to do the same in return. It was what his friend deserved, after all. Besides, it all came down to the basics.
Strength lesson number one: being strong often comes out of being brave and doing things that would normally terrify you. It means that you're stronger than the weakness that holds you back.
Nash grunted, trying to fend off Kano's fists as best he could, but they didn't seem to stop. Something warm was pooling under him, as if one of them had been stabbed, but he didn't have any wounds yet. Kano had come at him with nothing more than his fists, and so far he was winning.
Struggling under his weight, Nash tried to shove the other boy off, but even someone as strong as he was could do nothing against a trained Career. There was no way he could defend himself for too much longer.
He just hoped Merix had gotten away.
Beyond Kano, he could still see the stars gleaming bright against the darkness of the room. It wasn't the real thing, not at all, but maybe he could pretend. It would have to be enough.
He finally took his first sharp hit against his jaw, the pain traveling up his face and down his neck. Nash gritted his teeth, trying not to make any noises of pain in case Merix was still around. The next hit was directly above his right eye; a third punch slammed into his shoulder. Nash managed to thrash his hands enough to hit Kano in the stomach, recoiling when he discovered that the wetness was blood from some kind of wound.
In one fast movement, the knife was out, and the world slowed down around Nash. He knew that this was the end, that there was nothing he could do to stop his death from coming, but something in him insisted that he keep fighting. One of his hands reached up in an attempt to catch Kano's arm, to stop the blade's cruel descent, but it was knocked out of the way. Nash was helpless to do anything but squeeze his eyes shut, hands still outstretched in an attempt to protect himself, and-
Kano was knocked off balance, swaying with the unsteadiness of someone that had previously been injured. All of his strength was dissipating quickly, as if it was nothing more than a sudden surge of adrenaline. Nash managed to knock the knife out of his hand; the weapon skittered across the floor, breaking the tense silence.
Nash caught sight of Merix, who had attempted to tackle Kano, and he felt simultaneously proud of his friend's bravery and terrified because the fight certainly wasn't over yet. All he wanted was for his friends to be okay, for them to be safe, and now…
The weight left him in an instant, and Nash was too slow on the uptake, too slow to do anything to stop Kano from lunging for the knife. It hadn't gotten too far away, and Nash rolled onto his side to see if he could possibly reach it, but he wasn't close enough to do anything but-
There was a sickening squelch, and Nash nearly doubled over at the sound. He looked over to see Kano finally stop still, his face nearly horrified as he saw what he'd done, saw the knife planted firmly in Merix's stomach.
"No," Kano whispered brokenly.
Nash saw red. Faster than he knew he could move, he was on Kano, trying to keep him away from Merix, who had fallen backwards. Kano still held the knife in his hands, but this time his fingers were slack, allowing Nash to rip it away from him easily.
Then he froze, realizing what he had to do next. Nash didn't want to kill anyone, not at all, but with Merix behind him…
He drove the knife firmly into Kano's chest, a sharp gasp leaving the boy's mouth before he stopped moving entirely. A cannon sounded shortly after, and Nash quickly let go, not wanting to look at him anymore. Instead, he spun to face Merix, who was laying on the ground, his bright green shirt saturated with blood. Nash felt bile rise up in his throat, but he pushed it away. He had to help Merix.
Quickly, Nash got his jacket off and pressed it to Merix's stomach, trying to staunch the flow of blood. He knew that not all stomach wounds were necessarily fatal, so there was still a chance for Merix to be okay.
He had to be okay.
A cool hand rested on top of his, and Nash realized that he was violently trembling. Merix's eyes already seemed so far away, fixed on the stars above them. Tears threatened to fill Nash's eyes, but he fought them back desperately. Somehow, Merix seemed determined to comfort Nash, his hand squeezing gently.
"I told you to go," Nash whispered, lifting a hand to brush strands of red hair out of Merix's face.
Merix coughed, a bit of blood appearing at his lips. "I couldn't… leave you."
Nash wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything to show his emotions, but he refused to let himself, not wanting to scare Merix. Besides, this couldn't be his final moments. It couldn't. They would all move on from this.
Instead, he tried to crack a smile, hoping that it wasn't just a grimace. "I… c'mon, Merix… I was gonna be okay. And so are you!"
The blood was beginning to soak through Nash's jacket as well, but he kept firm pressure on the wound. He tried to think of anything else he could possibly do, anything at all, but he hadn't spent much time at the medicinal station. Maybe if he had, Merix wouldn't be on the verge of death. There had to be something he could've done differently. Maybe he should've done everything differently.
Maybe Merix would've been better off not knowing Nash at all.
His mind racing, Nash realized that after the cannon, Lilith would probably be worried about them. "Lilith!" he yelled, his voice cracking. "Lilith, we're in here!"
Merix's breaths were starting to grow shaky, as if he couldn't completely fill his lungs anymore. "What if… someone else comes?" he asked worriedly.
Sniffling, Nash recognized that despite their situation, Merix was still worried about him. "I don't care," he said intently. "I'll be okay- you'll be okay, we'll all be okay, I swear it."
"Thank you," Merix said faintly.
"No, no, don't thank me yet," Nash choked out, his eyes stinging. "Thank me later, when this is over, when you're okay."
"Not for that," he said softly, eyes searching Nash's face intently. "Thank you… for being my friend. For teaching me- teaching me to be strong."
Nash made a strangled noise, his shoulders shaking. "C'mon Merix, don't say that. You were always strong, you just had to find it. And- and you'll find it again!"
"T-tell Lilith I'm… I'm sorry," Merix whispered, coughing again. When blood threatened to leak down his face, Nash carefully wiped it away.
"There's nothing to be sorry for," Nash insisted. "You didn't… didn't do anything wrong."
"Can't… say goodbye," Merix managed, his eyelids fluttering. He slowly turned his gaze to the ceiling again, seeking out the stars.
Nash wished there were any stars that could comfort him now.
"Merix, please," Nash whispered desperately. "I- I can't-"
The only thing that answered him was the sound of a cannon, and Nash's own sobs that accompanied it. He didn't know what to do, where to go from here. Merix was his friend, a friend that had tried to save him, and he'd died in the process.
It was all Nash's fault.
Slowly, Nash moved his hands away from his bloodied jacket, his hands stained with red as well. There had been nothing he could do, but he kept replaying the scene in his mind over and over. If only he'd moved faster or been more vigilant, if only they had stayed with Lilith, if only, if only…
And as Nash looked up to see Lilith in the doorway, her face crestfallen as she surveyed the scene, all he could think to himself was that he wished he had been stronger.
12. Kano Arledge, d4m. Knife to the chest.
If his whole life was lived for others, then what did Kano have left?
11. Merix Joss, d3m. Knife to the stomach.
Being strong often comes out of being brave and doing things that would normally terrify you. It means that you're stronger than the weakness that holds you back.
Kills:
Thay Yukimura: II
Shai Kingston: II
Crush Xing: II
Kano Arledge: II
Phaedra Nikostratos: I
Alila Perwane: I
Lilith Beherit: I
Justus Arculeo: I
Nash Prior: I
Arena: I