listen, it's a tragedy that Bobbi and Nat never shared the screen. the potential for banter and sass would've been off the charts.
(also, don't think too hard about the timelines here...they're a little muddy but I think they line up...mostly...😉)

enjoy.

"Bob!"

Bobbi groaned lightly at being interrupted by Lance. Again. "What?" she called back.

"You might wanna join me, love."

"I'm busy! I told you I wanted some peace and quiet!"

"Trust me, you're not too busy for this!"

"Hunter, I swear to-"

"But there's an Avenger in our kitch-" She heard a loud thwack and then he spoke again, this time a little grumpily. "Ow. That hurt."

She frowned at his words as she made her way out of their bedroom. An Avenger? Nat's here? When she reached the kitchen, she found Natasha sitting at their kitchen table, sporting a decidedly different hairstyle than usual, and her sometimes-husband rubbing his shoulder tenderly.

"What did I do? You are an Avenger, aren't you?" he said with a grimace.

"Do you not watch the news? She's a fugitive, so maybe don't broadcast her location for all to hear," Bobbi replied in exasperation.

"Alright, alright," he said as he shifted away from Nat pointedly.

Bobbi turned her attention back to her friend and mentor. "You look terrible as a blonde. You should leave it to us professionals," she quipped while eyeing Nat's new hairstyle.

"Don't remind me. This is from a box, Bobbi. A box! Believe me, there is very little I wouldn't do right now to see Mandy so she could fix this."

Bobbi laughed at the mention of Nat's long-time hair stylist. "She would drop you as a client seeing what you've done to it."

"Probably," she agreed with a wide grin.

"I always forget you two are like sisters," Hunter piped up. "I'm gettin' out of here before things get worse for me. One bruise is enough, thank you very much."

"Insufferable as always, Hunter," Nat said with a teasingly arched eyebrow.

"Russian she-devil," he returned with a theatrical half bow before he stood up straight again and then swiped his phone off the table. "Be back later. If you're staying for dinner, you're paying."

"Not a chance," Nat called out as he left. He didn't turn around but did hold up his middle finger on one hand behind him in reply.

"God I've missed watching you make him uncomfortable," Bobbi said with a shake of her head and Nat grinned again in response. "You want some tea? Beer? I don't have any vodka, sorry. We might have some whiskey somewhere though."

"Tea's fine," she replied and Bobbi got up to put on the kettle.

"How the hell've you been?" Bobbi asked as she leaned back against the counter leisurely. Last that she'd seen, Nat had been in Germany apparently fighting some of her fellow Avengers over some sort of disagreement. At least, that's what the news had reported. She was certain that the truth had a few more layers to it than that.

"Oh, you know," Nat answered with a shrug. "Same shit, different day."

"I saw the news. You're on the run again, huh?"

"Going back to my roots," she quipped, though Bobbi guessed she was probably a bit upset about it. She knew how hard Natasha had worked to be seen as more than a former Russian agent. She hadn't loved suddenly inheriting a public persona when she became an Avenger but the positives (stability, a new close-knit group of friends) outweighed the negatives (a face too recognizable for undercover work, being hounded for autographs now and then). "Is me being here a problem for you?" she asked seriously.

Bobbi laughed. "Least of my worries, to be honest."

"What's top of that list?" Bobbi blew out a breath and crossed her arms over her chest as she considered how to answer that. "After Lance Hunter, that is," Nat added wryly and Bobbi laughed.

"God I've missed you," Bobbi repeated with a fond shake of her head and a smile as she poured out the now hot water into two mugs.

"Likewise, but I was serious with my question. You in any shit currently that my being here would make worse?"

"Well, I'm unemployed."

She snorted. "Join the club."

"Well, newly unemployed," Bobbi amended. "Hunter and I got caught while doing some uh, surveillance. Employers needed plausible deniability, so…."

"You've been disavowed," Nat finished for her as Bobbi slid one mug over to her.

"Yep."

"Well, that sucks. Not even freelancing?"

Bobbi shook her head. "Waiting for the heat to die down, then we'll find something, I guess. If we don't, they'll probably end up arresting me for the murder of Lance Hunter."

Nat chuckled as she stirred her tea idly. "Let me know if you want some work. I still have some contacts who are doing some mercenary work, but for all the right reasons. They'd jump to have someone of your skill working with them."

"We're good for now, but thanks. Might take you up on that later."

"It's a standing offer," Nat confirmed as she added some sugar to her tea

"So, you were just in the neighbourhood? Or did you need something?"

"Bit of both. I figured it had been a while, and, well, I needed to ask about some old SHIELD stuff."

"Shoot," Bobbi said as she settled into her chair again and took a sip of her tea.

"Any idea if any of the caches are still secure?"

Bobbi blew out a breath. "Been a bit since I was in any of them, but we used one a year or so back. It was still mostly stocked and secure when we opened it, so I'm guessing some of them are still secure, yeah."

"Any security breaches or concerns with accessing them now?"

"I don't know for sure but from what we could tell, no. You'd probably know more than me how deep the Hydra infestation went and still is."

"From what I've heard that's categorically untrue," Nat said with a smirk. "Something about you having been a brunette for a long while…"

Bobbi rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me. I had access to some things, but not what you're looking for. And it's not like I kept any contacts from that op."

Nat chuckled. "Fair enough."

"You need equipment?"

"Something like that. I have some of my own safehouses, and I have contacts I can use but...I've been calling in a lot of favours with them lately and I'd rather not burn them all at once."

"Ah, okay," Bobbi said with a nod.

"You remember any of the locations? I know some, but they were the better stocked ones so I'm assuming they got cleaned out first."

She nodded. "I know a few of the smaller ones. More European ones than stateside though," she offered.

"That's fine. I'm avoiding the States for obvious reasons."

"Mm," Bobbi hummed as she took another sip from her mug. "Not asking for details but I'm assuming you have somewhere to go?"

Nat smiled behind her mug. "Why? You offering a spare room?" she joked.

"I'm sure if you bought some beer and paid for a sports channel for Hunter he'd let you have his room."

Nat chuckled. "But then where would you sleep?"

"With you. It's him who'd have to find somewhere else," Bobbi quipped.

"Tempting as that is, I've got some friends to help out of a tight spot, but then we'll be on the move."

Bobbi nodded. Friends...meaning those currently incarcerated at the Raft. "Give my regards to Barton," she said knowingly.

Nat smiled, clearly having assumed Bobbi would have put the pieces together. "I will."

"Tell him to stop by if he's in the neighbourhood. Would be good to see him again."

"I'll let him know."

Bobbi paused before she asked her next question, knowing Nat wasn't overly fond of being pressed this way. Still…she did come here, Bobbi thought. Aw, screw it. If she blows it off, she blows it off. "How are you?" she asked with her tone just a touch more serious than the easy banter they'd been enjoying.

Nat took a long drink from her mug and then spread both her hands around it for warmth. "Tired," she admitted.

Bobbi held in her surprise at Nat admitting such a thing. She knew that Nat trusted her more than most, but their friendship was a far cry from the one she shared with Barton, or even the other Avengers. "You've been on the train a long time," she said knowingly. Nat had been in the game far longer than she ever had been and had taken far fewer vacations. Truthfully, Bobbi wasn't sure how she hadn't lost it years ago, especially with the added responsibilities of being an Avenger.

"Always another stop."

"Well, you ever think of getting off?"

Nat shook her head. "I'm not really wired that way."

"Never?"

She sighed softly before she took another sip of her tea. "It's not in my immediate future. Too much to do."

"Well, take a vacation one of these days then, would ya? I swear you've been going full speed since I met you."

"Is there any other speed?" she joked.

"For you? Apparently not," Bobbi said dryly. She'd been that way once too. For as stir crazy as she felt sometimes without any work these days, it was also refreshing to not have impending disasters hanging over her head constantly. "I was joking earlier but if you want to stay a couple nights, you absolutely can. We do have a spare bedroom with a remarkably comfortable futon in there."

"Remarkably comfortable, huh?"

"Hunter snores. Like a freight train when his allergies are bad. A girl needs sleep, Nat."

Nat smiled before she took another long drink from her mug of tea. "Maybe for one night," she conceded, "but only if you're sure."

"C'mon, of course you can. Gotta pay you back for all that extra training you gave me after all," Bobbi replied with a wink. "What you taught me helped keep me alive all these years on missions.

A strange expression crossed Nat's face before it shifted to a smirk. "That was a long time ago," she said.

"Ages," Bobbi agreed. "We're practically seniors now."

Nat chuckled. "You're younger than I am, Bobbi."

"Yeah, and my joints still crack every time I stand up, so I can't imagine the state you're in."

"That's an occupational hazard, not an indication of age."

Bobbi laughed. "Either way, of course you can stay, Nat."

"Thank you," she replied with a warm smile. "Guess this means I'm buying dinner, huh?"

Bobbi snorted. "Guess so."

"So, do I get to know where the gnarly bruising on your back is from?" Bobbi asked and Nat immediately frowned. "You're moving really stiffly," she added in explanation, "and I may have noticed some bruising on the back of your neck.

"Tying up some loose ends."

Bobbi groaned at the vague answer. "Come on, give me something, Nat. I'm reading novels and learning to cook. I need something to distract me from my work-free life."

Nat shook her head in amusement before her expression sobered. "Found out the Red Room was still active. It isn't anymore."

That stopped Bobbi's playful banter in its tracks. She knew a little about the Red Room from what Nat had told her years before, and none of it was good. If it had been up and running again... "Shit."

"Yeah," Nat agreed dryly as she took a sip of her vodka. Hunter had come home a few hours after he left with two bottles of the good stuff, earning a rare smile of gratitude from Nat. He'd disappeared into the other room to watch some soccer game, and aside from some sporadic yelling he'd been pretty quiet and left them alone, for which Bobbi was grateful.

"So, the bruising is courtesy of some highly trained agents?"

"Mm," she confirmed with a hum.

"You okay?" Bobbi asked, again chancing the wrath of a disgruntled Natasha with the question.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

She rolled her eyes. "Nat, c'mon. You had lots of shit going on before your past apparently resurfaced in a very real way to try and bite you."

Nat was quiet for a moment as she swirled her finger around the rim of her glass. "It's a lot, yeah, but in a lot of ways it brought closure too. And in some places I hadn't realized I needed any."

"Well, here's to that then," Bobbi said as she held up her own glass in a toast.

Nat nodded and lifted her glass to clink against hers. "So, do you need anything from me besides a subscription to a knitting magazine?" Nat quipped to swiftly redirect them away from the heavy emotional topics.

"Hey! I wasn't cruel to you that time when you were stuck on medical leave for two months. I snuck you mission reports and stuff to do," Bobbi defended accusingly.

"Just trying to find you a hobby for your new lifestyle, Barbara."

"I feed you, give you good alcohol, and provide a place to stay and this is what I get?"

"Aw, c'mon, I'll let you knit me a scarf that I won't throw out immediately."

"You're the worst, you know that, right?"

"I draw the line at a sweater though. Maybe a hat, so long as the colour doesn't clash with my new blonde hair."

"The. Absolute. Worst!" Bobbi emphasized but Nat just grinned. "And don't hate on knitting!"

enjoy Bobbi and Nat's banter? Hunter's small cameo? want to see more of these two? got ideas for other characters/instances?

as always, let me know. 😊

more to come.