Friday, June 11th, 2010. End of Week 1 in the Culinary Arts Program.
Far from JobTrain, in downtown Menlo Park, Meowrice, a slim Tuxedo cat (from "Gay Purr-ee") was eating from his last can of sardines when Tin, Pan and Alley (from "Tom & Jerry") burst through the door with a big load.
"Here's that lifetime supply of sardines you've requested, boss." said Tin.
"Excellent." grinned Meowrice. "Put them in the far back so no one else can see them."
Once Tin, Pan and Alley did as they were told, Meowrice pulled out three dollar wads, which he tossed while saying "You never cease to please me, gentlemen."
"Anything to make you happy, boss." said Alley, who caught his money.
"Yeah, definitely happy." added Pan, who caught his own money as well.
As they left, Sylvester (from "Looney Tunes") placed a fishbone on the floor and was about to make his leave when Meowrice's voice stopped him.
"Sylvester, what is this?"
"Well, it's been a slow week." explained Sylvester. "I mean, that's half of what I got."
As he spoke, Meowrice heard his stomach growl.
"And I suppose you want some real food in exchange for this little table scrap."
"Well, it's not just me, Mr. Meowrice." said Sylvester. "Every street cat in town is hungry. I mean, you've got plenty of food to provide..."
"If you want my canned sardines, Sylvester," sneered Meowrice. "You'll have to pay for it."
"Pay for it?" repeated Sylvester. "But I don't have any money."
"Well, you know what they say," said Meowrice. "To have money, you've got to make money to spend money."
"But, money doesn't grow on trees." said Sylvester.
"Well, the way I see it," said Meowrice. "Evil is the root of all lush, green money trees.
When preacher can't preach you
And teacher can't teach you
When angels can't reach you
"The Money Cat can!" sang the Shadow Cats, who popped in and out.
Meowrice: Oh, we give social status
To countrified tomatoes
Shadow Cats: If you want kicks
And class and clothes
Money Cat knows
Where the money tree grows
"You know what," said Sylvester. "On second thought, I'm not that hungry."
He tried to make a run for it, but the Shadow Cats grabbed and tossed him into a salon chair, while being forced to listen to Meworice's song.
Meowrice: Beauticians will sleek you
"Fashion cats chic you." sang the Shadow Cats as they groomed Sylvester. "Aristocrats seek you. Man! Man! Man! Man! Man! Man!"
Meowrice: And should that dream of glory
Be part of your plan
"If anyone can help you, the Money Cat can!" sang the Shadow Cats as they tap-danced in front of Sylvester.
"Money Cat knows where the money tree grows." sang one of them before a saw cut a hole through the floor.
Sylvester jumped out of the chair before it fell through the hole.
Shadow Cats: Get your picture painted
On the magazine cover
You can have a palace
With the world your lover
As they sang, Sylvester quietly slid away and out the door.
But the Shadow Cats soon caught up with him while singing.
Shadow Cats: Money Cat can buy up
Anyone who's high up
Meowrice and the Shadow Cats: We've got dicks and politics and law
In the palm of our paw
While hearing Meowrice and his henchcats sing, Sylvester ran all the way to the Caltrain station, where he managed to climb to the top of the depot, where Tin, Pan and Alley stood in front of him, apparently joining in the song.
Alley and the Shadow Cats: The gendarmes may nail you
Pan and the Shadow Cats: The lawyers may bail you
Tin and the Shadow Cats: The judges may jail you
Tin, Pan, Alley and the Shadow Cats: Man
As Sylvester turned a corner, Meowrice stood in front of him, holding out another wad of cash while singing...
So why be a flopola
With egg on your pan
Tin, Pan, Alley and the Shadow Cats: If anyone can save you,
The Money Cat can
Just then, a whistle sounded. Apparently, the train was making a stop here.
While Meowrice and the other cats covered their ears to block out the loud noise, Sylvester managed to escape, only to fall off the roof and into a trash can.
"Sufferin' succotash! He's twice as worse as Freddie Fabulous*."
That was what he said before the lid came crashing down on him, while the wad of dollars, which had broken free from its bounds because of the train's blast of a whistle, were blown away.
As he and his henchcats watched, Meowrice stated. "There should really be a law about blowing train whistles at the wrong time."
"Oh, yeah." agreed Alley.
"Definitely." agreed Pan.
"No arguments here, chief." said Tin.
Flynn: That's where I come into the story.
Author's Note:
*Sylvester did actually come across Freddie Fabulous (from "You're the Greatest, Charlie Brown," one of the many Peanuts specials) in "Nathan Rosenberg: 4th Grader," which will be published in the fall of 2021.