Chapter 11
"Wait a minute wait minute back up a bit… you have the hots for Sasha?" Ymir asks in disbelief.
Calian, though annoyed, answers, "yea."
Still staring, "Sasha? Sasha Blouse? Potato girl? That Sasha?"
He groans and pinches the bridge of his nose, "yea that Sasha Blouse, that's the only Sasha Blouse we know!"
She stares for another minute before busting out laughing, slapping the table at the tavern he found her in. Most patrons don't mind and continue on with their drinks while some give her the stink eye, not that she cared. Calian rubs his face beginning to regret coming to Ymir about this.
She wipes a tear as she catches her breath, some cackles still escaping her lips. "Oh! Oh god that's good!" she takes a big gulp of her ale and slams it down.
He raises an eyebrow, "Ain't it too early to be drinkin?"
She rolls her eyes, "We live in a world where we can be eaten by giant man eating nudists, drinking protocols is not at the top of my list."
She brought up the mug to her mouth and tiled her head back tog et the last few bit down before slamming it to the table and signaling a waitress to refill it. "One for the jolly giant, he's gonna need it for this."
He gives her that one, this conversation has barely started and it's already giving him a migraine. She turns to him and throws an arm over the back of her seat, completely relaxed, "I gotta ask, why come to me for this?"
He shrugs, "well Jean is still hung up on Mikasa almost as much as she is to Eren, Eren is… a complete fuck up in the romance department, Armin's too awkward, Connie would probably blab to Sasha, Christa is no where in sight at the moment and I still got some dirt on ya that'll keep your mouth shut."
Her relaxed smile quickly turns into a withering glare but, "touché."
"Besides, everyone's still in a bad place cause of Trost, even worse with the Regiment Ceremony comin up."
She nods sympathetically there, "I hear you, I hope my sweet Christa makes the right decision and go to the Military Police, for her sake."
"Not yours?"
"You want my help or not?"
"I'm debatin that."
She makes a show to get up, "have it your way."
But he stops her, "Stop! I'm just kiddin."
She gives him a smug smirk before sitting back into her relaxed pose again, "I still can't believe it, you got the hots for Potato Girl! Hahahahahaha!"
"You're so goddamn childish! Can't ya take this seriously?!"
The waitress comes back with the mugs filled to the brim with ale and Calian graciously takes it and downs the entire thing in one go, earning an impressed sound from Ymir, "I don't know why you need my help anyway. You of all people have always said what's on your mind regardless who you're talking to, it's one of the very few things I respect about you."
"… I'm gonna take that as a compliment."
She gives him a non-committal shrug. He sighs, "look I only realized it just last night and I guess I just needed to tell someone… plus on what I should do."
She groans exasperatedly, "weren't you the one who was always ragging on Thomas for not telling Mina how he felt?"
Calian cringes a bit. He remembers alright, he remembers constantly telling him to just say it, better live without regret even if it doesn't go the way you want. Guess lookin outside in, seems a lot easier.
"let me guess, you're figuring out that it's easier said than done?"
He glowers at her, "ya seem to have no problem tellin Christa to marry ya."
She shrugs, "Cause I'm not a pussy."
"Scuse me?"
She waves him off, "Oh don't get your panties in a bunch. Look you're gonna go to a mission tomorrow to face down giant Man-eating monsters that already indulged themselves on half the cadet corp cause the big wigs need more cannon fodder, just get this off your chest so that you'll be easier to chow down on."
All she gets in reply is a deadpan stare, " No wonder Christa hasn't accepted your marriage proposal."
"Not for long." She replies with a bitchy smirk.
He just rolls his eyes and chuckles, "Fuck it, you're right, I don't know why the hell I'm gettin so bent outta shape for this."
"I'm wondering the same thing I mean it's just Sasha."
"Easy." He warns her.
Ymir leans closer and grins mischievously, "So I gotta know, what is it about her that caught your attention huh?"
He just glares. She continues.
"Is it her body? I'll let you know this, we've all been to the showers together, you won't be disappointed!"
Calians eyes widen and blood rushes to his face as he instantly starts to have his head filled with mental images of the hungry red head in various stages of clothing. Acting like she doesn't notice how flustered he is, Ymir gleefully continues to torture her drinking buddy, "She definitely fills out her choice of underwear, you'd be surprised by the selection too! Gotta say if my lovely Christa didn't catch my eye first I might've even—"
"Cut it out already!"
She cackles, "ok but really, what is it? I mean she's not the sharpest tool in the shed and I've seen pigs eat with more class than her."
Now Howlett's embarrassment turns to anger, "Don't ya start talkin trash about her! She's so much more than ya'll give her credit for! She's fierce, strong, kinder than this world should allow, braver than she thinks, and … got a smile that'll melt any icy heart." He sighs wistfully and images her smiling face, "All the things people dislike about her is what makes her perfect to me."
Ymir slow claps at his outburst, "well I sure didn't take you for a romantic. So go on and tell her that."
"yea you're right… Ya know ya ain't so bad to talk to, at least when you're drinking."
She just rolls her eyes and the two sit in comfortable silence for a while before she randomly says, " I just realized I've seen both of you naked."
"And this is when I leave."
"Go get em Wildman! Show that red head how wild you can get!"
He shakes his head as he walks faster away from the cackling woman. She orders another drink and giggles to herself, "he's gonna fuck this up so bad."
(Line Break)
Sasha's leg was bouncing in a very quick pace as she waited in the mess hall for lunch. She whines and dramatically grips Connie's shoulders and rather violently shakes him.
"Waahhhhh! How long do we have to wait?! This is torture!"
"Let go of me, my head feels like it's gonna fly off!"
She relents then groans melodramatically as she flops onto their table. "Why is the corp so cruel as to have to a set time for lunch? They should have this place open all the time!"
Jean rolls his eyes as he leans on his fist, "If that were to happen we'd starve on the first day cause of you."
Sasha glares at him, "Hey I have self control!"
Connie snickers into his hand, earning fierce snarl from the near rabid red head. He pays no mind to it and decides to tease her further, "Why don't you ask Cal to cook you something? Bet he wouldn't mind at all!"
Confused, she asks, "What do you mean by that?"
He shrugs with a smirk, "Nothing! Is that you seem to be the only one he ever cooks food for!"
"well yea but he did for everyone else yesterday." She points out.
Jean gives her a tired look, "But he does it for you constantly."
She smiles, "He's nice like that."
Connie and Jean share a look, "I don't think kindness is the only reason."
"Yea." Connie seconds.
"Because he's a good friend?"
"Good friends don't call you darling all the time."
"He gave you a nickname too."
"… Baldy isn't as endearing."
Jean snickers, "you learned a new word today."
Connie glares at him, "and I'd say horseface isn't any better."
That stops Jeans laugh. But does nothing to end Sasha's confusion. "What are you guys going on about?"
"Oh my God."
"Oh my God."
The two decide to stop responding as food is finally being served to the cadets. Though Sasha still eagerly awaits her plate she can't stop her mind from going over the conversation she just had with her friends. She had never thought anything of it when Calian had started calling her darling, at first it was kinda weird btu she took it in stride. And she won't lie to herself and say it doesn't feel a little good when he calls her that. But that was because he's a good friend! A good, kind, caring friend who goes out of his way to help anyone he cares about. It's one of the reasons why I lo—wait WHAT?! Sasha blushes madly at her train of thought and as soon as the plate hits the table before her, she begins stuffing her face, per usual.
But she can't even enjoy her food as her mind goes back to what she almost thought. Was I about to say 'love'? I don't love him! I care about him and admire him and yea he's pretty handsome…. And tall… and muscular… She squeaks as once again her mind betrays her, earning some weird looks from her table mates. What's happening to me?! She's never thought of anyone like this before, let alone Cal. And yet, ever since she had believed he had died in Trost, she's been feeling turmoil in her heart concerning the lovable giant. A turmoil that's been getting worse as time went on and the more time she spent with him. What am I gonna do? She finishes her food in no time. And decides that some hunting might help to clear her mind. She wordlessly gets up from her seat and runs right into the man dominating her thoughts.
She gulps as she stares up into his stormy grey eyes, unaware of him doing the same. "H-Hey Sasha."
"C-Calian hi! What're you doing here?"
"I was actually lookin for ya."
Her heart begins to race and she fidgets nervously, much to the amusement of Connie and Jean as they stop eating and pay rapt attention to the pair. Calia, feeling annoyed says,
"mind if we talk somewhere privately?"
"Uh uh s-sure."
"Great."
As soon as they begin to move though, that's when Shadis appears, slamming the door open. His weary eyes slowly works it's way around the room, meeting the gaze of each and every cadet present.
"Before I begin, I would like to salute all those who are still here. You've faced overwhelming odds and survived. You've brought honor to this corp and to humanity as a whole. But it was not without sacrifice. I don't need to remind you of just how empty this mess hall has become. That's the reality of a soldiers life. The reality of the danger the titans pose. Now I'm not going to spoon feed you some uppity bullshit to rouse your spirits. I want you to keep in mind exactly what happened. I want you to remember every detail of Trost. Tonight will be the Regiment Ceremony. You will have the chance to choose which path you'll take that'll define the rest of your lives, however short that may be. Consider it wisely."
He leaves, the door slamming behind him sounding a lot louder due to the change in atmosphere thanks to their 'jolly' commandant. Calian glances at his friends and sorrow enters his heart. Whatever good he was able to do the day prior was gone in an instant. Connie seems to be lost in his mind, Jean is staring at his hand in grief and Sasha, her eyes seem haunted now. I can't bring this up now.
The two decide to sit back on the table, silence reigning. Sasha shakily places a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. "so that's it huh? Tonight we choose where we're going."
Connie grips his hands tightly to stop them from shaking. "I-I don't know what to do. I don't think I have it in me to see something like Trost all over again."
Jean remains silent, his eyes shadowed by his hair. He suddenly gets up and leaves the mess hall in a hurry.
Sasha shakes her head, "I don't want to either. When I joined the corp, I never thought anything like this would happen."
She looks to Calian, "What're you gonna do?"
Before he can answer, the door to the Mess Hall is opened again and this time it was Moblit who entered. He quickly found Calian and raced straight towards him. "I apologize for the inconvenience cadet Howlett but the mission will be beginning earlier than we expected."
"What? How?"
"Squad leader and Erwin were able to convince the tribunal to allow us to begin the operation earlier so that we can establish a safe area for cadet Yeager to begin his 'training'."
"(sigh) I'll be right behind ya sir."
They salute each other and Moblit makes his leave. Alarmed Sasha stops Calian before he follows, "You're going on a mission?"
He looks away from his friends. "Yea, apparently I impressed them enough that they recruited me with Eren. They wanna see how I do outside the wall with them."
"That-that's insane Cal!" Connie exclaims.
"Everything we do is insane baldy."
Sasha pulls him into a tight embrace, her eyes watering as she buries her head in his chest. "Please don't die."
He runs his hand through her ponytail soothingly, "Ya won't lose me so easily Darlin. I'll be back."
She pulls back, wiping away a tear that threatened to fall and she punches him lightly with a smile, "You better!"
He grins and starts heading out. Connie shakes his head and plops back to his seat his head buried in his hands. Sasha's heart twists as she watches him go. Please, please come back.
Authors Note: There you have have it! Short chapter but honestly i just wanted to have a fun convo with Ymir and yes Sasha is beginning to realize her feelings for Calian, something i'll dive deeper into in later chapters, sorry it took so long for this one to come out but i was recuperating from covid i felt good enough to make update a few stories including this one. Man oh man though, Attack on Titan is coming to an end :( it's been a helluva a ride but i'm so happy to have been a part of it. Which reminds me, some ships that i personally like will have some light scenes here and there, next chapter as well. these are ones that i like and kinda wish were canon but Isayama doesn't really like romance so i'm just gonna have to indulge myself lol. Next chapter will be up this coming week so stay tuned!