Chapter 15

It was finally the night of the Enrollment Ceremony. It had been a very anxious wait for many of the cadets, what with the battle of Trost having caused many set backs that forced the night of enrollment to be rescheduled a few times because of the many problems that have arisen from the Chaos. Though the damage to the city was quickly being fixed, many societal problems have not been so easy. Families were displaced, businesses were ruined and it led to looting and riots throughout the city. As large a force the Garrison is, they had taken a hit during the Titan invasion. Though the city would've faired better with the aid of the Military Police, very few were sent due to the Residents of Wall Rose deeming the action unnecessary since the 'true danger of the Titans' were already dealt with. This left them no choice but to use the Cadet corp once more for operations they were not trained for.

This has weighed heavily on the minds of many Cadets. None more so than Jean Kirstein. It may have seemed foolish, but when he had enlisted, he never imagined this to happen. He never truly believed he would ever have to even look at a Titan. He just wanted a better life in the interior. He looks at his now cleaned hands, that still felt like it held ashes. That would be so much easier. But… Marco saw something in him. Something Jean didn't. He tightens his fist in frustration. "God dammit!" he hisses.

"Jean." Armin calls, "You're really joining the Survey Corps?"

Ignoring the hammering beat of his heart, Jean school his expression into a look of calmness. "Yea."

His answer truly stuns the rest of his friends. They all knew that he was dead set on joining the Military police. Sasha asks, "Why the change of heart? I mean… aren't you scared?"

Jean places his hands on his hips and tilts his head, "Huh? Of course! I don't want to join the Survey Corps."

Once again, his answer leaves the rest scratching their heads. "Th-Then why would you?" Connie asks, looking scared of his reply.

Jean shakes his head, frustrated. "It's not that the Titans don't scare me anymore either. And I won't spout nonsense like, 'The best belong in the Survey Corps.' I'm not as eager to die as some are."

Everyone knows exactly who he's referring to, "You mean Eren? He's already joined the Survey Corps… Calian too."

Suddenly a Military Officer announces on stage, "Trainees, line up! Line up in front of the stage!"

Everyone follows the officers order, some are slow as if their legs are made of lead, the weight of their choice pressing down heavily on their shoulders. Before Jean goes to take his place he informs the rest, "You know, I'm not risking my life because someone convinced me. This is a job you can't do unless you decide for yourself."

He doesn't look back as he takes a position in front of the stage. If he did, he'd have caught the effect his words had on those listening. And not just his friends, but the many soldiers in ear shot. They all stand at attention in front of the stage with shaky legs, their trembling fists planted firmly over their hearts. The dark night sky spreads a blanket of shadows that looms over each and every soldier, the only thing keeping it at bay is the torches that lit up the courtyard and set an ominous tone to the stage as a tall blonde haired man takes center stage. Sasha gasps as she sees that on the stage is also Eren and Calian. Calian is scowling slightly but when his eyes land on hers, they soften. Blood rushes to her face as she remembers the feelings she had discovered. She clears her throat and pays attention as Erwin begins his speech.

"I am Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps. Today, you will choose a branch of the Military. Putting it bluntly, I'm here to persuade you to join the Survey Corps. During their recent attack., you learned how terrifying the Titans can be, as well as how limited your own strength is."

Some whispers slowly creep up from the audience. Many cadets feel nervous as to where this is going while others like Annie and Mikasa, remain unaffected.

"however," Erwin says, "That battle brought humankind closer to victory than ever before. The key was Eren Yeager."

At the sound of his name, just as he did with Pixis, Eren steps forward and salutes the crowd, looking nothing less then determined. "By risking his own life, he's undoubtedly proven himself a great ally to humanity. With his help, not only did we stop the Titans advance, but we've also obtained a key to discovering their true nature."

The atmosphere changes dramatically, Calian notices, as many cadets who wore hopeless expressions are now genuinely intrigued. As was Calian himself if he were to admit it, he had not been notified of what the Commander was going to say or what he planned so this is news to him as well. "We believe that the basement of his old home in Shinganshina district holds answers about the Titans that even he doesn't know."

Calian gapes but shuts his mouth quickly. A basement? That's his goal? There's a big secret in his old basement?

"if we can reach that basement, we will find clues to ending this century of Titan domination." Erwin concludes and he stays silent for a few moments to allow everyone to digest this new information.

Many were asking among themselves, "The basement?"

"We've advanced this far?!"

"If we learn what they are, we can end this!"

Calain glances at the Commander as he gazes upon each and every cadet. I get he needs recruits, but I'm kinda shocked he's revealin so much. I'd have thought he'd say this maybe later on… unless he's doin it on purpose. But why?

After a few more moments of silence, Erwin continues his speech, "We aim to reach the basement in Shinganshina District." His face turns grim, "However, that requires us to retake Wall Maria. In other words, our objective remains the same. But with the Trost gate sealed for good," Erwin motions for Mike and Calian to unfold a large map and hold it up for display, "We'll have to take the long way around from Karanes in the east."

What Erwin says next not only shocks Calian, but also every veteran present. "The four years we spent laying a route for a full-scale army have gone to waste. In those four years, more than sixty percent of the Survey Corps lsot their lives. Sixty percent. In four years, an insane figure… Those of you who join us will participate in our excursion beyond the walls next month. We expect thirty percent won't return. In four years, most will be dead." The nervous whispers begin again as horror sets in on the recruits once more. "But those who make it through will become superior soldiers with a high survival rate."

Why is he—

"Now you know the discouraging facts. Any of you still willing to risk your lives, remain here. Ask yourselves: Are you willing to offer your beating hearts for humanity?"

And it becomes clear to Calian right then. What Erwin was playing at. The Survey Corps were filled with many different soldiers, some may not have been in the top ten when they had graduated. But they have all become incredible soldiers in their own right. And not just soldiers, but survivors. And it's all because they had the ability to overcome their fears and fight for humanity. To fight for something bigger than them. Whether it was revenge, or for the chance to end this war. That is a trait not many people have. And as Calian looks upon the audience, he can tell just from a glance who has the nerve and who doesn't.

The ones who don't, which to be honest was the vast majority, began to leave, to join the Garrison. Jean stays rooted where he is standing but inside he is in turmoil, Dammit. Come on you've already made your choice! Don't make me hate myself any more than I already do!

Sasha is hyperventilating as her window to leave is slowly becoming smaller and smaller with each passing person, I have to get away now, or else…

Connie clutches his head, cold sweat dripping from his forehead, I left my village to join the Military police! My Mom would be so happy. If I join the Military Police, the whole village would think better of me!

Despite these thoughts, the recruits stay where they are. They all think the same thing, We've already seen it, how the Titans… eat humans! It seems to get the better of Jean as he let's out a guttural scream full of his anguish and fear. But he remains in place.

Erwin folds his hands behind his back, "Could you… die if you're ordered to?"

A random soldier shouts, "I don't want to die!"

Erwin smiles, "I see, I like the looks on your faces. Now then, I welcome all fo you to the Survey Corps! This is a true Salute! Shinzou wo Sasageyo!"

With tears in their eyes, the new members salute back, "Yes Sir!"

Armin glances at the ones who stayed, "guys…"

Jean looks ahead with unfocused eyes, "This is the pits. The Survey Corps…"

Sasha whimpers, "I'm scared I want to go home."

Connie grits his teeth, "I don't even care anymore."

The only ones who seem unbothered are Reiner, Bertholdt and Ymir who narrows her eyes at Christa, upset that she looks frightened. "If you're gonna cry about it, you should've left."

Erwin addresses the attendants one last time, "You've done well to endure your fear. You are brave soldiers. You have my deepest respect."

And just like that they were dismissed. A moment that was hanging over everyones head like stormy clouds, suffocating them, was over in just a couple minutes. Of the entire cadet corp, only a fifth remained. It took Calian longer than he had wanted to free himself from the stage but once he did he quickly ran to his friends that were still standing distraught near the stage. The first ones he went to were the closest, Reiner and Bertholdt.

"Ya really joined the scouts." Calian whispers, disbelief evident in his tone.

Reiner smiles affectionately, "Of course. It's a soldiers duty to give their all for humanity, no matter the cost."

Bertholdt says nothing but nods in agreement.

"And just cause you've gotten slightly more experience than us doesn't mean we're any less capable. Though I am glad I get to work with you." The blonde says, lightening the mood for his tanned friend.

"Right back at ya both. Ya'll saved my skin when we were trainin so there's no one else I'd rather have to watch my back."

"Haha you say that like as if we'll be doing all the work. I'm gonna be counting on you too Cal!" Reiner shakes his finger at his friend in a mock scold, giving them all a reason to chuckle.

Cal sees that another blonde is nowhere in sight. "I take it Annie joined the Military Police then?"

This time Bertholdt was the one to answer, "Yea. She said it's the best chances of staying alive."

"Well she's not wrong. Joinin the Scouts means ya might not live to your 20's. Still too bad, coulda really used her skills."

"We'll pick up the slack for her." Reiner assures him.

"I don't doubt it, Imma go check up on the rest alright. Ya'll stay safe."

They say their goodbyes and Cal catches up to the next friends, Mikasa, Armin, Jean and Connie. Jean was cursing himself which definitely concerned the rest but they all understood.

"Arrgh… of all the stupid—Me! In the Scouts?! What the hell was I thinking?!"

Connie is no better as he's hugging himself, "I-I just wanted my parents to be proud of me."

Concerned Cal asks, "Ya know ya can still join the MP's or the Garrison."

His bald friend shakes his head, "No… No I made my choice. I-I really don't want to die but, I just can't take the easy way anymore."

Jean agrees with Connie and he says, "I don't like this anymore than I did before. But if we don't do this, who will?"

His question renders everyone speechless. Jean has been a good guy. Sure he comes off as self centered most times, but once you know him as a friend you'll see that he's capable of great selflessness. None was a better example than this. Him giving up his dream to join the Military Police to join the Scouts. "I hope ya don't take this the wrong way Jean, but I never expected this from ya."

He half smiles, "I guess there's more to me than you think."

"Ya got that right."

He checks on Mikasa and Armin. "And the two of ya'll?"

Armin rubs his arm, "I don't know how much help I'll be but I'll give this my all!"

Mikasa remains as stoic as ever, "My choice has been made a long time ago."

"Ya know I think the reason this amount of people stayed was cause they knew you'd be in the battle field with them Mikasa."

Mikasa slightly blushes at the compliment while Connie, momentarily breaking out of his stupor, adds in; "He's right you know! I'd have been shitting my pants by now if didn't know what you were capable of."

Mikasa dips her head into her scarf to hide, "I'm… not that good."

Armin bumps her shoulder, "You made it as number 1 for a reason Mikasa."

"Rankings won't mean anything once we're beyond the walls." Jean states, effectively ending their conversation right then. And the somber air returns tenfold.

"You all heard Erwin, in the expedition coming up, we'll most likely lose half the people here. Some of us might be part of that number."

"Jean—"

The brunette cuts off the experienced cadet, "You've been outside these walls already, tell me I'm lying."

For the life of him, he can't. He can't say Jean is lying because it's all true. He's seen just how brutal it is outside, just how easy it is for the best of them to slip up or be caught at the wrong time. The thought that any one of his friends could end up like that… it was unsettling. But there's no turning back now. All Howlett can do is pray that they all remain in one piece. Suddenly he realizes that there's someone missing.

"Where's Sasha?"

Connie is the one who answers, "As soon as we were dismissed she took off, don't know where she went."

Without a word Calian leaves in search of her. He checks through the barracks and the mess hall, asking around but no one has seen her. 20 minutes pass before an idea pops into his head. He follows a familiar trail that has been burned into his memory. He follows along the trail leading to the Cliffside where they met for many nights for the past 3 years and lo and behold, there was Sasha, sitting on the edge with her legs swinging freely. She hears him and the look in her eyes breaks his heart. Wordlessly, he sits beside her, still appearing massive in comparison and drapes an arm over her shoulders, pulling her in. She settles in with her head laying on his chest and an arm around his waist.

"… Why did ya choose the Scouts?"

She shakes her anxiety filled head, sniffling lightly, "I don't know. I-I just couldn't be selfish anymore."

"Darlin… ya were never selfish to begin with."

"I was. When I first joined the cadet corp, it was because I just wanted to have food everyday. It was harder to find enough game to hunt and my paw was thinkin bout movin elsewhere n' findin other work. I ain't wanna do dat! I –I blamed all ya'll fer losin yer homes to da Titans! I neva wanted ta fight em! But doggone it I can't run from dem anymore, but I wanna so bad!"

She's crying now and Calian holds her tighter. She looks into his eyes, tears still falling and he gently wipes them away. She closes her eyes and their hearts flutter as she leans into his touch, finding comfort in it's gentleness. He trails his hand down to her chin and tenderly lifts it until their gazes meet. "Sasha, you're without a doubt one of the most selfless person I've ever met."

Her eyes are almost desperate as she asks, "ya really mean dat?"

"I do. It doesn't matter what ya thought before. Or what ya said. Your actions show who ya really are. And that's an amazin, fierce and strong woman who doesn't hesitate to show kindness this world don't deserve."

"why do you say things like dat? Yer just tryin ta make me feel better." She grumbles.

With his heart pounding he says, "No."

And he stands, taking her up with him. She looks more and more confused as she feels his hands shake and he begins to stutter.

"Wow, um I uh, this is a really shitty time to bring this up but—"

He gazes into her eyes and the red headed girl gasps at the sheer tenderness in them. "Sasha, I truly believe everythin I just said. I'm not tryin to make ya feel better. I mean I-I am but it's not a lie. Ever since we first met, you've been nothing short of incredible. How ya are with people, no matter how gloomy things are, ya brighten up any day. Hell I looked forward to everytime we would meet up to eat because ya were always so passionate about it and when we hunted too. It was like watchin an artist make a masterpiece."

With each word Sasha gets redder and redder and her knees start to feel weak. "I'm tellin ya this because – oh wow this is really hard." He rubs his chest where his beating heart is hammering against.

"Cal what're ya sayin?"

"I'm sayin I have feelins for ya!"

She completely forgets how to breath in that moment, her eyes are wide and her mouth has dropped open significantly. He presses on before he loses his nerves, "I have for a while. I think you're beautiful, I think you're smart, I think you're the most passionate and free person I've ever met. I live to see the moments when ya laugh cause it's like music to my ears and I damn near cry when I see ya smile cause it's more stunnin than any piece of art anyone's ever made. Even when I went out the walls, all I could really think about was comin back to ya."

He says it all in one breath and inhales desperately once he's done. He awaits anxiously for any reply but it seems that his declaration has broken Sasha as she remains as still as a statue. He begins to grow concerned as she doesn't seem to be breathing. "S-Sasha?"

No reply.

"Sasha?"

No reply.

He slowly lifts his hand and flicks her nose and she yelps, falling back and clutching her nose. "W-What was that for?!"

"Ya were freakin me out!"

"Well how else am I suppose to react when – when you… and and you say…"

She continues to stammer as truthfully, she never imagined this would happen. She never imagined that he would share the same feelings for her. To be honest, she never imagined anyone would feel that way about her. She's heard what people have said, calling her feral or that animals have better eating etiquette than her and many other hurtful things. And not just in the training camps but all her life people have always looked down on her and her village because of their way of being and speaking. She eventually learned to ignore it all but she won't lie and say that it hasn't left it's mark on her. Now she's confronted by the fact that someone actually likes her for the same qualities she's been bullied for all her life, she doesn't know how to react.

Even worse was the speech that Erwin had given them during the ceremony. What if she gives her heart to him and he dies or she dies? What if she has to watch him or any everyone eaten before her? Could she take it? Could she live with it? Is she willing to go through that?

Her inner monologue continues for a long time and silence reigns between them. Not privy to her thoughts Calian sighs in dejection. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have dumped this on ya, especially after the ceremony. I wanted to tell ya this a while ago but I ain't have the courage before. I'm glad I did now though, selfish it may be. Ya ain't got to say anything. Even if ya don't feel the same way, it don't make ya any less important to me."

Silence is still reigning supreme and he mentally kicks himself for doing this, his heart breaking as will. "I uh, I guess I'll go now. I'm gonna be trainin with the Levi squad and Titan research squad for the next months o, I guess I'll see ya durin the expedition."

He turns and begins to slowly walk away, his head hanging in dejection. Sasha slowly reaches out,No. Don't! Don't go! She realizes something, I don't want you to go. I don't want you to think I don't love you! She Remembers what Christa had told her, that this is worth it no matter what.

She gets up and runs to Calian. He hears the rushing foot steps and turns just in time to catch and spin Sasha in an embrace her legs locking around his waist as she grips both sides of his face with her hands, "I have feelins fer ya too doggone it! I want ta be with ya! I dunno how or what ta do but I know I want it with ya! Please don't think I don't!" she cries and he couldn't be happier.

He brings her in tightly and embraces her with all the love in his being and she returns it. They lay their foreheads together and they smile giddily, their hearts fluttering in sync. "Sasha Braus. Will ya do me the honor of bein my girlfriend?"

"It'd be my absolute pleasure, darlin!"

They giggle together and continue to enjoy each other's embrace. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed and they will unfortunately be separated for a while. But this moment right here, they'll enjoy it as much as their hearts want.

Authors Note: Told you i'd get the next chapter out soon! I hope you enjoyed it now that the two have finally revealed their feelings to each other and are together! It's not gonna be easy though especially since their both scouts and will unfortunately have to spend some time apart. But it won't be permanent and i'm definitely gonna be having some good moments together for them. And thanks to everyone who has favorited, followed and written a review! I love reading them and seeing how many people enjoy this story! Though i do need to reply to one comment:

MDM11: I can't promsie any of that. Like i said, i'll be keeping some deaths while saving others because as we've seen, that's the reality the scouts live with. Not everyone can make it. And some deaths were important for some events. i won't reveal who or when so you'll all have to wait and see but still i hope you stay to watch the story unfold.

Also i want to once again recommend some fanfics for everyone: 1) Till the end by Scipias (trust me it's amazing), The Experiment by KakashiSensei4444, What If by Isil'zha BLZ ( so many interesting storylines that i wish i could see continued!), and The World He saw by Moose96. Check these stories out you will not be disappointed!

Till next time guys!